Overnight house guests, how long is too long?

[journey00]

And do you find that you have to stop your homeschooling to entertain? Even if it is just family, it is a pain to homeschool with guests around. They (extended family) called that morning and asked if they could stay (husband found a temporary job in the area) and I said yes, you may but I can only house you for one week. I swept, swiffered, and dusted the guest bedroom and put clean sheets on bed. I did not tidy the house, nor clean excessively,  nor buy a load of groceries or snacks, turned off the TV during the day, took my children to their regularly scheduled extracurriculars, I fed my children on the run in between activities and did not call home to see if guests needed dinner.  I flat out announced that I do not cook breakfast, lunch or dinner & it is survival of the fittest.  In other words, I went on with our normal every day lives.  This is the first time I have done this, I usually clean to the max buy groceries for an Army and cook special dinners.  My daughter in law & my first grandbaby are visiting in a week.  Again, my homeschooling will probably be on halt some but at least she folds my laundry and cleans my kitchen and offers to watch the kids and she always strips the bed when she leaves.   :)

 

I have family in FL, MD, VA, and I think 1 week, MAX,  is enough when they're coming from so far.  We visited my family in VA this summer and arrived late Friday night and left on Tuesday morning. lol.  They still asked us to please stay longer.  Nope, sorry...always leave them wanting more.   ;)

 

I say three days with leaving on the 4th day, unless it is a funeral or out-of-state family then a week. WBU? 

[Jane in NC]

Benjamin Franklin noted:  Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

 

 

 

[FaithManor]

Loaded question. If its dd and hubby or nephew and wife, no limit.love.to.have.them.

 

Now when it was my father in law, an eternity had taken place after 24 hrs.

 

As a general rule, I'd say a week is a good guideline.

 

Faith

[Joker]

Considering we rarely to get to see them, I like them to stay as long as they can. When we visit family, we've rarely stayed less than one full week. It would seem like a lot of money and travel to only go for a few days.

[Belacqua]

We're having a family member visit this fall for 3 days. I'm very fond of her, and she's coming from across the country, so I commented to my husband that I wished she could stay a little longer. He remarked, "You say that now...". And he's probably right.

[Cinder]

Three days is about all I can handle. Unless it's my mother who has to travel thousands of miles to visit. The she can stay a week.

 

I also don't usually cook breakfast or lunch either, just dinner. I might get a few special items for the guest that we don't usually consume but other than that it's just our usual groceries.

 

We also don't school during visits. But we don't usually have frequent guests so this doesn't throw off our whole year's schedule.

[Halftime Hope]

Depends on 1) how well you fit into each others' lives, 2) how far the guests travel, and 3) how much the guests are willing to do to shoulder the workload.

 

I went to be with my extended family this year twice, b/c that's where my mom is now.  The first time I couldn't do much to help (I was recovering from illness), but the second time I did everything that I could find to do to help.  I hope we are welcome to come again.  (I know we are.)

[Murphy101]

Good company is like good wine. You're always glad to see them at the table.

 

Bad company, like bad wine, can be insufferable for one meal.

 

So I think it depends on the company.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Currently experiencing a too long visit. Going on 5th night and tomorrow will be 3rd lost school day.

 

My mom says 2-3 nights should be max, I now agree.

[Annie G]

It'll be three weeks on Tuesday.....

 

I still did school, but it's more work for me with another guest.  So that puts me in a bad mood.

 

And at the rate it is going, I'm not seeing an end in sight.... : (

 

Oh,wow. I'd be a raving lunatic if I had houseguests stay that long. Probably more raving than lunatic, but still...

 

How are you keeping your cool?

[Tess in the Burbs]

My moms parents used to come for weeks with no set date to leave and she sticks to the 2-3 night max visit herself. I get it now.

 

In your case it's time to ask when they are thinking about heading out. And perhaps going camping yourself.....

[Scarlett]

We had a guest for THREE weeks, but he wasnt inside my house most of the time....just had his motor home parked in my driveway. Dh did give him a key and he let himself in a few times that really annoyed the crap out of me. It will not happen again.

 

My MIL was here for parts of a week when my FIL was recently in a nearby hospital....I didn't mind that at all. She is lovely....and it was a necessary situation.

 

I don't do long term guests well. I do 2 or 3 nights great.

[zoobie]

Are they coming to visit you or using you for free lodging? We don't have a guest room or sofa bed. There's a lovely DoubleTree about a mile away...

[annandatje]

It all depends upon your relationship with the relatives and your viewpoint on temporary communal living. My brother-in-law lived with us for three months when he was supervising a project in our city. We did not change our daily routine at all. He kept his space neat and clean and occasionally pitched in to clean the common area. He provided evening companionship to my husband and kids. Generally I cooked dinner but it was not a guarantee. He would often pick up take out and contributed to groceries. We did not charge him to stay with us because we wanted him to save his per diem to have extra money to send to his wife and children.

 

For certain other relatives, this setup would never have been offered.

[Mbelle]

It depends.  Especially if you have extra space.

Family that fits in, for the most part, and helps around and can go out and entertain themselves is easy.

I feel the same way about really good friends. 

[Um_2_4]

Well, only family we have had visit came from LONG distance, so 2-3 months is normal for me. But they help out (picking up, etc). MIL cooked and helped with laundry.

Usually though, I still do all the cooking and laundry as usual including for guests.

The shortest visit was a cousin of DH who brought his mom (DH's aunt) and stayed for 1 week. She was lovely and helped cook.

 

ETA: About homeschooling, we do our thing. If they want to go out, we have public transport to the "tourist" areas or DH or I can drop t hem off on our schedule and arrange pick ups. MIL just went out with us.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I like house guests, as long as they aren't imposing. I am clear about what we have to do while they visit. If they can't understand that, they can leave. I like to visit for long periods as well.

 

As a house guest I:

 

1. Make sure both families are aware of the length of the visit.

2. Clean up after my family

3. Help clean in general

4. Help cook

5. Take my entire family out for extended periods of time so our hosts can have some time to themselves.

[Amira]

5 days is the longest I'm interested in if we're all in the US in most situations. I did stay at my sister's for two weeks this summer, but that was because she had a family crisis and needed help. My parents stayed with us for a little more than two weeks when they visited us in Kyrgyzstan, but when you go that far to visit someone, it's not for a quick trip.

 

Other than that people stay with us for a few days and I plan to enforce that rule in Mexico. We don't get houseguests all that often though, which is nice.

[AdventureMoms]

Totally depends on the guest. My parents can stay as long as they wish. They provide way more help than disruption and everyone gets along great. My MIL is very difficult. She refuses to adjust to our time zone and camps out in her room all the time. She's an exceedingly picky eater and does not cook at all. She has no sense and says stuff that gets the kids all riled up constantly. She has crazy anxiety and is insanely sensitive so we have to watch everything we say (and she always gets upset anyhow). She actually takes comments by the two year olds personally. She also travels from across the country. Thankfully she usually has to go back for work so it's usually only 4-5 days. By then I'm ready to chase her out!

[QueenCat]

I generally enjoy having company..... as to how long, it really depends on who they are, and how far they've come. My parents drive 12 hours to visit me. It would be very hard on them to only stay 2-3 days after the long drive. If they fly, they tend to stay for 4-5 days. Bil and sil are only 4 hours away, and we'll see them for a long weekend.

[Lilaclady]

We tend to have out of town guests that stay for 2 or more weeks. I plan our time so we an still do school in the morning and then go out in the afternoon. A lot of them tend to sleep in late anyway. Sometimes we have help, sometimes we don't. Those that help get better treatment as I don't have to wait on them hand and foot. It is tough though as we don't have good transport around here and I have to do a lot of driving.

[skeeterbug]

It'll be three weeks on Tuesday.....

 

I still did school, but it's more work for me with another guest. So that puts me in a bad mood.

 

And at the rate it is going, I'm not seeing an end in sight.... : (

Three weeks on Thursday for me!

 

Two and a half to go.

 

Not that I'm counting or anything. ;)

 

I'm trying to do school 2-3 days a week. They came a long way to see us and it's not often we see them, so just trying to enjoy it.

[Karen in CO]

Goodness.  A new grandbaby coming to visit?  Congratulations.  

 

 

Last time I visited my brother, I stayed over a month.  It was wonderful and not enough time.  My mom is going to visit him for 3 weeks soon to play with grandbabies.  Last year she stayed a month after the baby was born.  She helped with homeschooling, house cleaning andcooking.   My sister only stays a week when she visits because of her busy work schedule.  The only "house guests"  I ever get are family who get treated like family.  I usually take off a few days to enjoy them, but normal life goes on around them.  They come to visit me and be a part of my life.  They come to close some of the distance between us. They fill our hearts and homes and are welcome.

[Parrothead]

Another who says it depends. I can't imagine having family more than a week. They tend to drive me nuts, but for different reasons.

[Callie]

Are they coming to visit you or using you for free lodging? We don't have a guest room or sofa bed. There's a lovely DoubleTree about a mile away...

This.  I haven't allowed anyone to stay overnight in years.  They can stay at a hotel or B&B or whatever.

 

I realize I am blessed to live on a beautiful farm with amazing views and abundant wildlife.  But visitors treating me like their staff and my front porch/home like their personal oasis will never happen again.   I never want to hear the phrase "it's our vacation" again.

 

If you have a lovely family ymmv.

[clarkacademy]

People only visit here when my homeschool kids have a scheduled break it is that simple. When we are not on break they don't ask to visit unless it is just a weekend or something. Even my kids father plans his vacation visits around our school year. When we lived in IN the only exception was my mom who would visit and stay months at a time and it was always AMAZING!

[Orthodox6]

Impossible to craft a "one size, fits all" rule for this.  Depends upon the specific people coming, what their needs are (I will not tune out that they have needs), what my family's needs are, and so forth.  I am cooking three meals a day anyway, and have no problem with stretching meals to accommodate additional people.  My kids turn up with friends, who remain for meals, so we all are accustomed to feeding other people. 

 

Ben Franklin was a grumpus. 

[J-rap]

It really depends, although I've never had a bad experience with guests. If it were a BIL or SIL or nephew or niece moving to our town and they were looking for a job and a place to live, and we had the extra space, I'd happily put them up for a few weeks. I do enjoy all their company, and they're all the type to be completely independent and leave us alone when necessary. If it were a family coming to stay here and expect to be entertained and fed, then two nights is plenty. :)

[teachermom2834]

My MIL is coming this weekend. It will be 3 full days and 4 nights. This was a limit we had to set years ago and stick to. It is very difficult and everyone is so on edge by the time she leaves.

 

It is unpleasant and stressful but seems like a compromise. She would like to stay for a week or two. She is very hurt that we can't have her for longer but we really can't have her for any longer :(

 

It was difficult to set this limit and there was lots of drama and then she scheduling longer trips even though we said 4 nights was max. Eventually it stuck, though, and we don't have to negotiate every visit.

[regentrude]

Depends on the guests. My parents come, when they come, for two weeks at a time; I wish they could stay longer.

My niece and a friend of hers stayed for four weeks in the spring, and it was lovely.

I expect my guests to entertain themselves: I work and homeschool and can only devote my free time to visitors.

 

When we go home to visit my parents, we stay for about a moth, and we are always made feel welcome.

[Cosmos]

I enjoy having guests and I don't ever find myself wishing they would leave, but I do find it tiring. And it throws our schedule off quite a bit. I cook big meals and often organize outings and social activities. I would like to learn to be better at just going about our business so that having guests is not such a disruption. That's a little hard as we have now set up a sort of expectation with the people who usually come to visit, but I am trying to change my ways so that we could easily have a guest for several weeks without any problems.