Rant: To the woman sipping coffee outside Starbucks at 8:30pm . . .

[SKL]

I notice that people keep referring to 8:30 p.m. as night (like it is dark).  Is it dark at that time of the evening this time of year in most places?  It is still daylight here at 8:30 p.m. now.  In the middle of summer it is still daylight up until about 9:45 p.m. in my area.

 

It wasn't pitch dark, but it wasn't sunny either.  I didn't need headlights yet, but it was getting darker.  I mentioned 8:30pm so that nobody would think the sun could be beating down and turning my car into an oven.

 

8:30pm might be late for some kids, but my kids are normally up until at least 9:30.  I usually don't pick them up from aftercare until 6pm, and then we do all our personal stuff - dinner, therapies, sports, shopping, whatever.  Sometimes even a FedEx stop.

 

[KarenNC]

No there was nothing my kids could have done to hurt themselves or the car, since I had the key.

 

Depending on the car, this is not necessarily the case. This is tangential to the subject and I would expect 7 yos to not mess with this, but we had an incident a few years ago where a mom left her preschooler and infant in the car while running inside to pick up her oldest child from kindergarten. As I remember it, in the less than 5 minutes she was gone, the preschooler got out of his car seat and played with the cigarette lighter in the dash, starting a fire. He was able to get out, but the baby died. I believe many new cars don't come with actual lighters anymore, but most older cars did, so it's something to be aware of in those types of cars with young children, or if anyone using or riding in that car may have had a separate cigarette lighter that could have gotten left behind. As someone who has never smoked, I know that I tended to forget that the lighter was there.

[Callie]

It wasn't pitch dark, but it wasn't sunny either.  I didn't need headlights yet, but it was getting darker.  I mentioned 8:30pm so that nobody would think the sun could be beating down and turning my car into an oven.

 

8:30pm might be late for some kids, but my kids are normally up until at least 9:30.  I usually don't pick them up from aftercare until 6pm, and then we do all our personal stuff - dinner, therapies, sports, shopping, whatever.  Sometimes even a FedEx stop.

 

Just to clarify I wasn't questioning you.  I was questioning those who seemed shocked that you would leave your kids in the car at 8:30.  

[Callie]

In the more northern areas, yes, it can be dark. Remember the further north one goes the closer one gets to the part of the world that is in darkness 24 hours a day by the winter solstice. As we are past the summer solstice for this year is is already getting dark earlier and earlier. i commented to dh two evenings ago that it is dark before 8p now. Where I live it is dark by 4:30p durning the week of Christmas.

In Kentucky where I have lived all but 5 years of my life it is still daylight/dusk at approx 9:45 in summer.  When I lived in Florida for 5 years as an adult it was dark by around 8:00 in summer.

 

By Thanksgiving here in Ky. it is dusk around 4:30.  In Florida it was dusk around 6:00.

[SKL]

According to local news, sunset tonight will be at 8:28pm.

[Parrothead]

In Kentucky where I have lived all but 5 years of my life it is still daylight/dusk at approx 9:45 in summer. When I lived in Florida for 5 years as an adult it was dark by around 8:00 in summer.

 

By Thanksgiving here in Ky. it is dusk around 4:30. In Florida it was dusk around 6:00.

During high summer here, at and near the solstice, there is enough light to see until almost 10p. But once the solstice passes it starts getting darker earlier and earlier. Oh, and morning daylight is about 4am at the summer solstice. We have black out curtains.

 

In winter that changes to dawn is around 7a. We only have about 8 hours of daylight on the winter solstice.

 

ETA: I checked. Sunset tonight will be at 7:45p. On the 31st sunset will be at 7:15p. In two weeks we will lose 30 minutes of daylight.

[unfrumpable.]

The thing is, when you call the cops on someone, you don't know what they are going to do.  In this case, the guy let it go, but I've heard of cases where they report to CPS and then CPS opens a case and that starts a whole domino effect.  And this only seems to happen to people who don't have time for it in the first place.  I usually take my kids into FedEx, but there was no way we were going to get to the library on time to renew the misplaced books if I did that.  And they are old enough IMO to sit in a car for up to 10 minutes, with me so close and able to check through the window (or leave) if for any reason I got slightly delayed (which I did not).  I was watching the clock very carefully since I was worried about getting to the library in time to renew books.

 

The person who called the cops knew I was going into the FedEx storefront with a prepared package.  It would be an extreme flight of the imagination to suspect that I was going to leave the kids in the car long enough for something terrible to happen to them.  I just hope someday this person has kids and finds herself between a rock and a hard place.  And when she does, I hope she remembers the choice she made today.

 

Did you ask this "Starbucks lady" is she called? I am just curious how you know 100% for sure that this particular person made the call.

[SKL]

Did you ask this "Starbucks lady" is she called? I am just curious how you know 100% for sure that this particular person made the call.

 

As I was waiting for the cop to go away, I looked around and saw Starbucks Lady sitting on the edge of her seat, clutching her Blackberry, with that "oh goody let's see how much damage I did" look on her face.  There was nobody else nearby looking at my car.  Given the time of day, the parking lot was not crowded.  The only two places open, close enough to see inside someone's car, were Starbucks and FedEx, and the caller definitely was not in FedEx.

 

What difference does it make who made the call?  Like I said, for the cop to be stopped in front of my car that fast, the call had to be made by someone who saw me park, lock the car, and walk into FedEx with a prepared envelope.

[unfrumpable.]

As I was waiting for the cop to go away, I looked around and saw Starbucks Lady sitting on the edge of her seat, clutching her Blackberry, with that "oh goody let's see how much damage I did" look on her face.  There was nobody else nearby looking at my car.  Given the time of day, the parking lot was not crowded.  The only two places open, close enough to see inside someone's car, were Starbucks and FedEx, and the caller definitely was not in FedEx.

 

What difference does it make who made the call?  Like I said, for the cop to be stopped in front of my car that fast, the call had to be made by someone who saw me park, lock the car, and walk into FedEx with a prepared envelope.

 

It doesn't make a difference to me who made the call. I was just wondering why you were stating something as fact, when you actually do not know for sure who made the call. That is all, I was just curious.

[mrs.m]

As I was waiting for the cop to go away, I looked around and saw Starbucks Lady sitting on the edge of her seat, clutching her Blackberry, with that "oh goody let's see how much damage I did" look on her face.  There was nobody else nearby looking at my car.  Given the time of day, the parking lot was not crowded.  The only two places open, close enough to see inside someone's car, were Starbucks and FedEx, and the caller definitely was not in FedEx.

 

What difference does it make who made the call?  Like I said, for the cop to be stopped in front of my car that fast, the call had to be made by someone who saw me park, lock the car, and walk into FedEx with a prepared envelope.

 

Maybe she was curious about what was happening? I don't think I could read that much into some's expression. 

 

I think it is also plausible that nobody called and the officer saw your children and stopped.

[Nestof3]

True, and we've had lighters (those long ones without safety) in numerous locations in our house because we light candles a lot. I even let my kids light them at that age because I didn't want them afraid of fire but understanding it. Medicines have always been in a drawer they could access if they really wanted to at age 5. I do teach fhem that taking more tylenol than you need will kill your liver and then you and that even vitamins can kill you because you ingest too much iron. My kids never messed with things -- perhaps they were not curious about everyday things. They would ask for medicine or ask to light a candle. But, one time when I was in the shower, with all doors locked, my son at two exited the back door and wandered to the neighbor's house. Again, at 5, he started off down the street to grandma's house -- some lady stopped him. I wasn't even in the shower that time.

 

 

 

Depending on the car, this is not necessarily the case. This is tangential to the subject and I would expect 7 yos to not mess with this, but we had an incident a few years ago where a mom left her preschooler and infant in the car while running inside to pick up her oldest child from kindergarten. As I remember it, in the less than 5 minutes she was gone, the preschooler got out of his car seat and played with the cigarette lighter in the dash, starting a fire. He was able to get out, but the baby died. I believe many new cars don't come with actual lighters anymore, but most older cars did, so it's something to be aware of in those types of cars with young children, or if anyone using or riding in that car may have had a separate cigarette lighter that could have gotten left behind. As someone who has never smoked, I know that I tended to forget that the lighter was there.

[SKL]

Somebody in front of Starbucks had to make that call.  Nobody else would have been able to see that there were kids in the car.  I think it was that lady who was sitting there, but it's not like I did anything to hurt her.  She is not cc'd on my rant.  It was an open rant to vent my frustration with a world that calls cops on parents without any evidence that their kids are unsafe.

 

I was giving the cop the benefit of the doubt that he was telling the truth about a "complaint."  Also, why would a regularly patrolling cop be in plain clothes?  Seems more likely that someone made an emergency call about kids in a car and the cops sent the closest person, in case said kids were babies who had been left in there a long time.  I am fully aware that babies can die if forgotten in a car on a sunny day, and it is plausible that this could happen without anyone noticing until much later.  I'm not picking on the cop for responding to the call.

[warneral]

SKL, you do not need to defend yourself here. I can't be the only person who is wondering why so many are nitpicking your post. I hope today is better for you!

[Nestof3]

And you know what, it's probably his son who's sneaking out a window every night. :). Poor kid.

 

When the cops showed up at Barnes and noble, he scolded me saying he wouldn't even let his 15yo out of his sight at a book store. Then he went on to tell me that he would have hauled me in for neglect had they been a couple if years younger (his exact phrasing). My younger daughter was gulping down a budding panic attack at that. Seriously what do you say to that?

 

Luckily the most recent experience was with a really nice officer who told me he had no choice but to follow up but that I was doing nothing wrong. He also told the kids he was thrilled they were playing outside on a pretty day instead of holed up in the house in front of a screen and not to let anyone make them believe playing outside was a bad idea. I could have smooched him :)

[Nestof3]

Again, interstate and road accidents are common around here -- more so than parking lot. And, there is a greater chance of death. My husband and boys were rear-ended last year on the interstate -- Honda Odyssey totaled, airbags activated. The guy behind them didn't realize everyone had stopped. If I really wanted to keep them safe, I'd never let them in a car with anyone at all.

 

I'm not really worried about my kids getting kidnapped or carjacked or anything like that. I don't leave them in the car alone because we could be hit by another vehicle. Parking lot accidents are common around here and my kids would be scared and not know what to do, not to mention the risk of injury if they had their belts off. I was kind of surprised reading all these responses about abduction etc when an accident seems much more likely than any of that stuff.

 

OP I hope you have a better day. I'm paranoid about cops even though I'm about as straight-laced as you can get. I'm not sure I agree 100% with your reaction, but I will say that there are days that can be so hard and I know what that feels like. Regardless of all the opinions about leaving kids or taking them with, I think you're a good mom who was doing her best with a stressful day.

[KungFuPanda]

If you got the library books back on time it was Mission Accomplished.

[Nestof3]

How do you know who called the police? I didn't think the police gave out that kind of information.

I would guess that the person who called the police would wait around until the affair was over. I doubt someone would call the police and then drive off. The OP probably attributed it to the person there when she entered and exited the building. We make assumptions all the time, but I don't think that is the point of her vent.

[SKL]

If you got the library books back on time it was Mission Accomplished.

 

We did get to the library on time.  :)  Though if the cop had decided to make something out of the situation, I would have been paying fines on a pile of books.  Of course that is not the end of the world, but yeah, it was stress upon stress that night.  I should probably go yell at my friend for being late too :P .

 

[Scarlett]

Having been a police officer I can tell you it is a matter of chance. There never seems to be one around when one needs a LEO. But there are those rare moments when a LEO is half a block away. He could have been headed to Starbucks for a coffee prior to the call going out.

I called the police on a peeping Tom and police arrived with 3 minutes.

[KrissiK]

SKL, I'm sorry. I understand how you feel. You made a judgement call. I've left my kids in the car for a minute at times, too. Now that they are a little older, I stay in the car and they go run the errand for me. I know how you feel because all our kids were foster kids at one point and you feel like you are being scrutinized over every single stinking decision you make and you can't win. There's no such thing as common sense in this world anymore. I have 5 young kids and we homeschool.... Yet I got written up for having a messy house. Not a dirty house, but a messy house (kids' beds not made, toys on the floor). When I read your post I felt for you.

[Nestof3]

Good grief. And this makes me think of the poll a while back on how many families here make their beds daily.

 

We do, but we've certainly had days where we've had to leave the house in a hurry and stuff is lying all around (and I'm a neat freak). Those always seem to be he moments random people stop by.

 

SKL, I'm sorry. I understand how you feel. You made a judgement call. I've left my kids in the car for a minute at times, too. Now that they are a little older, I stay in the car and they go run the errand for me. I know how you feel because all our kids were foster kids at one point and you feel like you are being scrutinized over every single stinking decision you make and you can't win. There's no such thing as common sense in this world anymore. I have 5 young kids and we homeschool.... Yet I got written up for having a messy house. Not a dirty house, but a messy house (kids' beds not made, toys on the floor). When I read your post I felt for you.

[Scarlett]

SKL, you do not need to defend yourself here. I can't be the only person who is wondering why so many are nitpicking your post. I hope today is better for you!

I agree. If it had been in front of a bar or out in a big mall parking lot I can see the concern. Good grief, it was in front of a Starbucks and a FedEx building!

 

Why is it so hard to believe she was only gone 3 minutes?

 

I don't get why this thread has turned on OP. can't she just be annoyed that someone called the cops on her?

[SKL]

There's no such thing as common sense in this world anymore. I have 5 young kids and we homeschool.... Yet I got written up for having a messy house. Not a dirty house, but a messy house (kids' beds not made, toys on the floor). When I read your post I felt for you.

 

Ugh.  One would think that toys on the floor etc. would signal that the kids are encouraged to do developmentally healthy things and the mother is tolerant and not uptight.  It is really scary to think who in our society has the power to disrupt our kids' lives.  My kids were adopted too, and as you know, the last thing they need is do-gooders jerking our family around because we don't make the same parenting decisions they'd make.  And if the only alternative is to make choices we personally think are wrong to appease others, that sucks too.

 

ETA:  I don't mean to imply that people who keep a clean house are uptight.  :P  I'm picturing CPS people dropping in unannounced while a family is living their lives.  Having to worry all day, every day about toys on the floor is crazy.

[Catwoman]

I would guess that the person who called the police would wait around until the affair was over. I doubt someone would call the police and then drive off. The OP probably attributed it to the person there when she entered and exited the building. We make assumptions all the time, but I don't think that is the point of her vent.

I really hope that's the case.

[8circles]

 

I don't get why this thread has turned on OP. can't she just be annoyed that someone called the cops on her?

 

I think people are not quite feeling her level of angst over something that was really nothing.  Someone was concerned about children in a car.  Said children were checked on by the police.  SKL exchanged a few words with said police officer.  SKL continued on with her evening with no further disruption - even the library fines were avoided.   Her OP sounds a bit more than annoyed.  Annoyance I would understand.

 

FWIW I would have left my 2nd-grader in the car in those circumstances, too.  Even if his younger siblings were with him.  She didn't do anything wrong IMO.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

It's not legal around here to leave kids under a certain age in the car, I think age 12 but not certain.

 

[Catwoman]

I once had someone (and it had to have been someone who drove by on a 45mph road as I passed no houses or pedestrians) call the cops on me as I was walking down the street with DD asleep on my back in an Asian-style carrier. I had to reassure the officer who approached me that I could feel her breathing against my back and, as it was a sunny day, that she was slathered in sunscreen.

Wow -- that's just crazy!!! :eek:

[Alexigail]

Again, interstate and road accidents are common around here -- more so than parking lot. And, there is a greater chance of death. My husband and boys were rear-ended last year on the interstate -- Honda Odyssey totaled, airbags activated. The guy behind them didn't realize everyone had stopped. If I really wanted to keep them safe, I'd never let them in a car with anyone at all.

 

 

I guess that's true, but I don't see how any of it is relevant.   I was expressing my surprise that people are more concerned with abduction or car jacking than they were with something much more practical.   I'm not saying anyone else is wrong to leave their kids.  I'm not saying that I think my kids are more likely to be hit in a parking lot than anywhere else.  The statement about never letting them get in a car at all is silly and makes me sound like an alarmist when I'm not.  I think there's minimal risk of any of these things happening at all, but the choice I make is to keep my kids with me.  

[Lara in Colo]

I think people are not quite feeling her level of angst over something that was really nothing.  Someone was concerned about children in a car.  Said children were checked on by the police.  SKL exchanged a few words with said police officer.  SKL continued on with her evening with no further disruption - even the library fines were avoided.   Her OP sounds a bit more than annoyed.  Annoyance I would understand.

 

FWIW I would have left my 2nd-grader in the car in those circumstances, too.  Even if his younger siblings were with him.  She didn't do anything wrong IMO.

 

But it wasn't "nothing".  Once we allow other people to dictate how we raise our children, we lose control.  All it takes is an over zealous police officer and this becomes a nightmare.

 

The media is making us live in fear, and we are policing each other, instead of watching out for each other like we should.

[Joker]

I think people are not quite feeling her level of angst over something that was really nothing.  Someone was concerned about children in a car.  Said children were checked on by the police.  SKL exchanged a few words with said police officer.  SKL continued on with her evening with no further disruption - even the library fines were avoided.   Her OP sounds a bit more than annoyed.  Annoyance I would understand.

 

FWIW I would have left my 2nd-grader in the car in those circumstances, too.  Even if his younger siblings were with him.  She didn't do anything wrong IMO.

 

Have you ever had the police or CPS called on you? It's a scary and horrible feeling - even when you know you've done nothing wrong. I vented to anyone who would listen for a long time and was fearful for quite a while.

 

Someone called the police and said I left my baby and toddler home alone. They heard crying and didn't see our car. They never knocked on the door. CPS and two officers showed up to be told we only had one car and dh took it everyday for his five minute drive to work. Yet, they came into my home, woke up my napping kids, and took pictures of them.

 

This just happened to SKL and it made her angry and probably scared her. She's venting. I don't get the big deal with two second graders in a car for a few minutes. I might have kept my eye on them, but I would not have called the police. IMHO, I think that was just too much.

[SKL]

If I was really mean I could call the cop on that lady.  After all, she was sitting unrestrained just a few feet from a parking lot.  How did I know she wasn't likely to go jump in front of the next car that came along?  I mean it happens.  How could I live with myself if I found out later that she walked in front of a car when I could have asked the cops to go bother her, making her no safer than before but making myself feel like I've done something?  Besides, she was at Starbucks of all places.  How did I know she wasn't going to go eat or drink something unhealthy?  How did I know she didn't have a medical condition that made Starbucks fare unhealthy for her?  People do go into diabetic comas all the time.  I do have a civic duty.

[Χά�ων]

That aged child would not be hard to grab, throw into the car and take off with. I would have called as well.

[renmew]

OP - I am so sorry the police were involved, and I hope there is no call to CPS to follow up.  I might have done the same thing in your situation. I can't leave my 5 year old, because she wouldn't sit patiently at all. She would find a way to get in trouble for sure. Now I just send in my 9 year old by himself to run quick errands like that.

 

In California the law would have been on your side, so that's good to know. Although our preschool sent out a similar form. Last year the school director threatened to call the police if I left my 9 year old son in the car on front of the school while picking up the 5 year old. I ignored her and nothing came of it.

 

As a single mother, I understand your reaction. In the last 3 weeks my kids were interviewed by CPS and LAPD for false allegations their father called on. I did nothing wrong, but I was still stressed over the situation. I tried not to let the kids see that, and talked with them about always telling the truth during these interviews and trusting in the police to keep them safe.

[SKL]

That aged child would not be hard to grab, throw into the car and take off with. I would have called as well.

 

Most people who get abducted are full-grown, like Starbucks Lady.  Another reason I should have called the cops on her - for her own good.

[renmew]

That aged child would not be hard to grab, throw into the car and take off with. I would have called as well.

 

They were in a locked car, and if a person wanted to do that, they could pull that off with your kids standing three feet away from you.

[Χά�ων]

If I was really mean I could call the cop on that lady.  After all, she was sitting unrestrained just a few feet from a parking lot.  How did I know she wasn't likely to go jump in front of the next car that came along?  I mean it happens.  How could I live with myself if I found out later that she walked in front of a car when I could have asked the cops to go bother her, making her no safer than before but making myself feel like I've done something?  Besides, she was at Starbucks of all places.  How did I know she wasn't going to go eat or drink something unhealthy?  How did I know she didn't have a medical condition that made Starbucks fare unhealthy for her?  People do go into diabetic comas all the time.  I do have a civic duty.

 

Are you a mandatory reporter in your state? Was she making threats or exhibiting behavior that made you concerned for her safety or the safety of other people? Or was she just sitting outside a coffee shop drinking a coffee? Sitting outside a Starbucks is considered a socially normal behavior in our society. Had you called you would have run the risk of being charged with making a false report, because that is what it would be.

 

You left two young children in an unsupervised automobile. Your behavior is out of the normal for our society. Children have died because their parents did the exact same thing that you did. Not just one random child in a random fluke situation. Many children. Every single year.

[elegantlion]

I think people are not quite feeling her level of angst over something that was really nothing.  Someone was concerned about children in a car.  Said children were checked on by the police.  SKL exchanged a few words with said police officer.  SKL continued on with her evening with no further disruption - even the library fines were avoided.   Her OP sounds a bit more than annoyed.  Annoyance I would understand.

 

FWIW I would have left my 2nd-grader in the car in those circumstances, too.  Even if his younger siblings were with him.  She didn't do anything wrong IMO.

 

I would have been beyond annoyed and frustrated. Yes, the cops are around to provide service, they can be at my house in about 2 minutes or less, I know I've had to dial 911 before. However, after an already tense day to feel like someone is scrutinizing your every move is more than just a minor annoyance. Yes, I get tense around cops and a few other authority type figures that you never know what kind of control they want to pull at that moment. 

 

Why couldn't the concerned woman use some skills of discernment. If she was so concerned why didn't she 1. wait there (since it seems she did anyway) and watch the kids herself. 2. scold SKL when she got out of the car, 3. wait and think. If SKL was gone for 3 minutes the caller barely had time to assess the situation, which seems she is conditioned to have a knee-jerk reaction of DANGER should a child be left alone for even a moment. People that don't use critical thinking skills are more of a danger than two 7 year olds alone in a car for 3 minutes. 

 

The caller sounds like a tattletale who enjoys getting other people into trouble. She barely even had time to discern if there was an issue before calling. As a single parent that would freak me out. There is no going home and trying to laugh it off with a dh, there is a nagging fear (on top of an already bad day) that somehow this is one more mark against you as a parent. 

[Χά�ων]

They were in a locked car, and if a person wanted to do that, they could pull that off with your kids standing three feet away from you.

 

And that is not unheard of. The difference is that she would be right their to protect her children. She was not there.

[myfunnybunch]

I agree with you. But neither did whoever called the police. This isn't an either/or situation. The reaction to the police being called to check on children is too much. The police weren't called ON SKL, they were called to check on children. The children were checked & life went on. What's all the drama for?

 

This. 100%, especially the bold. SKL's children were not in an unsafe situation. The caller didn't know this and called the police to make sure. The police officer did his job and responded to the call. No biggie.

 

I'd probably have felt embarrassed and judged, though, that someone thought I was not taking care of my kids. That's a normal reaction, and it's even normal to need to turn it around and blame the busybody or the policeman with nothing better to do than check on my parenting.

 

Cat

[Guest submarines]

If she was called upon to be a busybody, she should've at least done her job well, and approached SKL, like in the good old times. If she gets used to relying on the police, soon she'll be calling cops about getting too much foam on her latte.

 

I think those who call the police about every little infraction they perceive and use zero of common sense should be fined more often.

 

OP, I'm sorry you had a stressful day.

[twoxcell]

 

It is totally possible. The police officer could have been in the parking lot of Starbucks or Fed Ex. He could have been around the corner when the call was dispatched.

We have extremely fast police response in our neighborhood. We live close to the downtown police station and they are always patrolling in our area.

[marbel]

That aged child would not be hard to grab, throw into the car and take off with. I would have called as well.

 

From a locked car?   They'd have to break the window.  They'd have to find something with which to break the window.   Not sure how that could happen in the very few minutes OP was in the building.  Other passersby would also be a hindrance to a window-breaker, I'd imagine.  

 

I admit to being curious how the OP knew who called. She cleared that up.  (Thanks!)  The more I think about it, the more I think I'd be upset too, to have the police called on me for something like that.  

 

Once in a while I see a seemingly-unattended child.  I'll hang around a minute or two to see if an adult appears.  I've never had to wait long.  I never notice kids in parked cars.  Barking dogs, yes! 

[SKL]

That aged child would not be hard to grab, throw into the car and take off with. I would have called as well.

 

See, this is why I'm so upset about this whole trend.  Are we now saying that second-graders are in constant danger?

 

Kidnappers are NOT around every corner, constantly looking for a child to steal.

 

Even if a potential kidnapper saw my kids alone in the car, he'd have to bust into my car in a public place, risking that I'd be back any second.  If someone was that hell-bent on taking my kids, why would it not be MORE dangerous for me to walk them to and from the FedEx store?  Much easier to grab and throw in the car and take off with.

 

For that matter, should it be illegal for school-aged kids to walk down the street?  Play outside?  Go buy themselves an ice cream cone?

 

My kids have been in thousands of situations where, if someone were so disposed, they could have been picked up and carried off.  I can't and won't live my life in that mindset.  That kind of occurrance is so extremely rare, and kids get hurt and die every day from things we don't obsess about.  For example, it's very common for kids to be hit by cars in school drop-off / pickup lines, which exist largely because people are afraid to let their kids walk to school or wait at a bus stop.  Irrational fears are causing real problems in our society.  Moms like me are NOT the bad guy.

[Guest submarines]

I would have been beyond annoyed and frustrated. Yes, the cops are around to provide service, they can be at my house in about 2 minutes or less, I know I've had to dial 911 before. However, after an already tense day to feel like someone is scrutinizing your every move is more than just a minor annoyance. Yes, I get tense around cops and a few other authority type figures that you never know what kind of control they want to pull at that moment. 

 

Why couldn't the concerned woman use some skills of discernment. If she was so concerned why didn't she 1. wait there (since it seems she did anyway) and watch the kids herself. 2. scold SKL when she got out of the car, 3. wait and think. <b>If SKL was gone for 3 minutes the caller barely had time to assess the situation, which seems she is conditioned to have a knee-jerk reaction of DANGER should a child be left alone for even a moment. People that don't use critical thinking skills are more of a danger than two 7 year olds alone in a car for 3 minutes. </b> 

 

<b>The caller sounds like a tattletale who enjoys getting other people into trouble. She barely even had time to discern if there was an issue before calling. </b> As a single parent that would freak me out. There is no going home and trying to laugh it off with a dh, there is a nagging fear (on top of an already bad day) that somehow this is one more mark against you as a parent.

This exactly. Excellent post.

[renmew]

Are you a mandatory reporter in your state? Was she making threats or exhibiting behavior that made you concerned for her safety or the safety of other people? Or was she just sitting outside a coffee shop drinking a coffee? Sitting outside a Starbucks is considered a socially normal behavior in our society. Had you called you would have run the risk of being charged with making a false report, because that is what it would be.

 

You left two young children in an unsupervised automobile. Your behavior is out of the normal for our society. Children have died because their parents did the exact same thing that you did. Not just one random child in a random fluke situation. Many children. Every single year.

 

I really can't believe that many 7 year old children die every single year when locked in a car for 3 minutes in the late evening.

[Χά�ων]

Most people who get abducted are full-grown, like Starbucks Lady.  Another reason I should have called the cops on her - for her own good.

 

If I was in that parking lot looking for an easy to grab female I would go for your girls. They are smaller and easier to grab and go.

 

The Starbucks lady is of the age of majority and is assumed by our society to be able to make an informed choice regarding her safety in her current surroundings. She also has had the time in life to learn self defense and learn ways to protect herself. In our country those over the age of majority are assumed to be able to care for themselves.

 

Your daughters are not of that age the burden is on you for their protection. You did something that could have resulted in harm to them. I am happy they are fine.

 

The Starbucks lady acted as an adult and called to report unattended minors.

[elegantlion]

 

 

You left two young children in an unsupervised automobile. Your behavior is out of the normal for our society. Children have died because their parents did the exact same thing that you did. Not just one random child in a random fluke situation. Many children. Every single year.

 

Do you have statistical information for the number of abductions vs. the number of children safely in the car every year? The bolded is pretty general. Children die in beds while sleeping. In fact right down the street it happened, house fire. Didn't burn the house - 3 people died from smoke inhalation. Perhaps we should quit letting our kids sleep in beds. Come one SKL is not 12, she make a judgment call based upon knowing her children and the situation. She vented. People do that here often about much more serious things without getting jumped on. 

 

Her behavior is not out of norm for some in our society, in fact the law is on her side. It is out of the comfort level for some, apparently. 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

If I was really mean I could call the cop on that lady. After all, she was sitting unrestrained just a few feet from a parking lot. How did I know she wasn't likely to go jump in front of the next car that came along? I mean it happens. How could I live with myself if I found out later that she walked in front of a car when I could have asked the cops to go bother her, making her no safer than before but making myself feel like I've done something? Besides, she was at Starbucks of all places. How did I know she wasn't going to go eat or drink something unhealthy? How did I know she didn't have a medical condition that made Starbucks fare unhealthy for her? People do go into diabetic comas all the time. I do have a civic duty.

Please do that. I beg you.

[MedicMom]

It is simply a matter of unawareness. It is forgivable.

 

Do three things:hre

1. Use your state or county website to check your zip code for pedophiles.

2. Google how many children are abducted each day along with the statistics for child trading in Portland and Seattle.

3. Read about those sweet Iowa cousins who were abducted less than ten miles from the house I grew up in.

 

It happens every where. I am flouted with the sheer number of predators that exist that anyone lets their kids roam the neighborhood.

Are you for real?

 

I live in a small town. Upstate rural New York. There are four in my entire area. Three are on the registry for molesting a child that was related to them. One for statutory rape. These aren't children abducted for predatory purposes, it was children known, probably living with the victim. Check the statistics, molestation by a stranger is very, very rare. Predators don't really troll the steets looking for their next victim. They groom and then harm the children closest to them.

 

I don't worry about stranger abduction in the least. I worry about the creek behind my house, car accidents and my children choking on small objects. I am a paramedic in a city with a high crime rate and have seen some of the most horrible child abuse cases you can imagine. I was a social worker prior to that. I am anything but naive, yet I choose to worry about things that may actually happen.

 

By the time my son is seven, I hope I can send him and his then five year old sister the three blocks to the corner store to buy milk. Paranoia is overrated and unnecessary.

[Galatea]

Are you a mandatory reporter in your state? Was she making threats or exhibiting behavior that made you concerned for her safety or the safety of other people? Or was she just sitting outside a coffee shop drinking a coffee? Sitting outside a Starbucks is considered a socially normal behavior in our society. Had you called you would have run the risk of being charged with making a false report, because that is what it would be.

 

You left two young children in an unsupervised automobile. Your behavior is out of the normal for our society. Children have died because their parents did the exact same thing that you did. Not just one random child in a random fluke situation. Many children. Every single year.

 

I really, really want to see the news articles or police reports about 7 year old children dying in cars at 8:30pm.