Rant: To the woman sipping coffee outside Starbucks at 8:30pm . . .

[Parrothead]

She doesn't know. She jumped in her car and waited on him to move rather than dealing with the issue like a grown woman.

That is a bit harsh, don't you think? Some people are truly unnerved by law enforcement officers even when they've done noting wrong. How about extend a little grace?

[catz]

But was there really a formal complaint filed, charging you with child neglect?

 

I was under the impression that a woman called the police to check out two kids being alone in a car in a parking lot at night, but once the officer arrived, he immediately realized that no crime had been committed and he politely sent you and your kids on your way.

 

I would think the call would have been logged into their system, but that the policeman wouldn't have even filed any kind of report about it. You hadn't broken any laws, and obviously the policeman believed that you hadn't done anything wrong, so I honestly don't think you have any reason to be concerned.

I agree. If that would have happened to me, I would have thought, guess I won't leave my kids in the car alone in public places. Not wow, people in my community are crazy for getting involved. Maybe Starbucks lady was obnoxious and/or over zealous. Maybe she was just concerned. I wouldn't assume the police was going to file any kind of report. They would have questioned you much longer if that were the case. Police respond to calls all day. Some are valid and many are not. The police really aren't looking to accuse innocent people and make more work for themselves.

 

My oldest is 12. I'll let him sit in the car sometimes now, but I still don't let my newly 9 year old. The only exception to this is when the car is on our property. And I have left my 9 year old at home alone for a few minutes at a time. Part of that is safety and part of that is just not wanting to deal with any ramifications of leaving them in there.

 

One time I was on my bike, I saw twin infants in a parked car on a busy road. It was not a hot or a cold day so I wasn't worried about overheating. But I biked quickly home and drove back out a few minutes later to see if that car with the babies was still there. And you better believe I would have called the police if it would have been. Had I had my cell phone the first time I saw them, I likely would have called immediately.

[Catwoman]

The person who called it in, or anyone off the street who heard the call go out on a scanner, can go to the department and ask for a copy of the report. They are public record.

If that's the case where SKL lives, then she should definitely get a copy of that report as soon as it becomes available to her, just to set her mind at ease.

[SKL]

But was there really a formal complaint filed, charging you with child neglect?

 

I was under the impression that a woman called the police to check out two kids being alone in a car in a parking lot at night, but once the officer arrived, he immediately realized that no crime had been committed and he politely sent you and your kids on your way.

 

I would think the call would have been logged into their system, but that the policeman wouldn't have even filed any kind of report about it. You hadn't broken any laws, and obviously the policeman believed that you hadn't done anything wrong, so I honestly don't think you have any reason to be concerned.

 

I don't know, though.  They seem to have everything on record and it seems to come back to bite people at the worst times.  I hope they didn't record my license plate, but they probably did.  I just can't seem to feel tranquil about the experience.

 

I mean, I'll get over it, but sooner or later someone is going to be in a pickle because of this stuff.  For example, if there is a custody dispute, or if someone else ever reports concerns about this or that. 

 

My kid is allergic to bug bites, and she can get multiple angry-looking welts or a swollen eye after being bitten.  My other kid has a birthmark on her backside that looks like a bruise.  Somebody could report stuff like this and it could all add up to get pretty ugly.  When it comes to police records, less is more IMO.

[Catwoman]

I don't know, though. They seem to have everything on record and it seems to come back to bite people at the worst times. I hope they didn't record my license plate, but they probably did. I just can't seem to feel tranquil about the experience.

 

I mean, I'll get over it, but sooner or later someone is going to be in a pickle because of this stuff. For example, if there is a custody dispute, or if someone else ever reports concerns about this or that.

 

My kid is allergic to bug bites, and she can get multiple angry-looking welts or a swollen eye after being bitten. My other kid has a birthmark on her backside that looks like a bruise. Somebody could report stuff like this and it could all add up to get pretty ugly. When it comes to police records, less is more IMO.

Even though I don't think anything bad will come of this, I do understand why you would be feeling unnerved about the whole thing. Even though everything ended well with the policeman, it would be quite a shock to anyone to walk out to their car and see a police car blocking it in. I probably would have panicked and thought something awful had happened to my child if there was an officer standing next to my car!

 

Do you live in an area where many people report parents to the police for every little thing? I only ask because you seem pretty worried about it, and I don't think it would even cross my mind to feel that way.

[Mrs Mungo]

One does not have to have charges filed to have a formal complaint and be entered into, at a minimum, the in house system. Some department send logs to various social services and other departments, as well as the newspaper, as a matter of routine.

 

Yes, there would have been a report. Even if the complaint is unfounded. There is a box to check for that.

 

The person who called it in, or anyone off the street who heard the call go out on a scanner, can go to the department and ask for a copy of the report. They are public record.

But it wouldn't have her name, the names of her kids or anything like that on the public blotter in the paper.

[SKL]

That is a bit harsh, don't you think? Some people are truly unnerved by law enforcement officers even when they've done noting wrong. How about extend a little grace?

 

I was in a hurry, and also didn't want to offer any information that I wasn't required to provide.

 

I've had my fair share of friendly conversations with law enforcement.  I saw no point to having a discussion with this particular cop on this particular subject.  He acted like he didn't want to be there any more than I did.  And I was in no mood for a parenting lecture.  Looking back, if I could have changed anything, it would have been to say even less than I did before getting in my car and starting my engine.

 

[Catwoman]

But it wouldn't have her name, the names of her kids or anything like that on the public blotter in the paper.

:iagree:

 

And I doubt it would ever even get that far, because no crime was committed and no citations were issued. I doubt it would even be legal to publish a story on the police blotter for a totally unfounded random telephone call that resulted in the policeman determining that no one had done anything wrong.

[Parrothead]

But it wouldn't have her name, the names of her kids or anything like that on the public blotter in the paper.

If he got their names it might be in the paper. I don't think SKL repeated the verbal exchange between herself and the officer here so I can't say for sure.

[Catwoman]

If he got their names it might be in the paper. I don't think SKL repeated the verbal exchange between herself and the officer here so I can't say for sure.

Maybe things are different from one state or one area to another, but our local police blotter never mentions any police action that didn't result in an arrest. It would seem ridiculous -- and incredibly intrusive -- if they published the names of people who the police spoke with, but who weren't arrested or cited for anything. I would think it would also open the police department to lawsuits from people who were upset about their names appearing in the newspaper when they hadn't done anything wrong.

[Parrothead]

:iagree:

 

And I doubt it would ever even get that far, because no crime was committed and no citations were issued. I doubt it would even be legal to publish a story on the police blotter for a totally unfounded random telephone call that resulted in the policeman determining that no one had done anything wrong.

Sure, it would be legal. Police reports are public record. Depending on departmental policy, and most departments have the policy, a call gets a report.

 

It might not say anything more than:

 

" Answered unattended child call at Starbucks on (whatever yesterday's date was). Child's parent was present. Call unfounded."

 

Or it might go into much more detail listing the caller's name, SKL's name, any verbal exchange and the outcome. Depends on both the officer and the departmental policy.

[Parrothead]

Maybe things are different from one state or one area to another, but our local police blotter never mentions any police action that didn't result in an arrest. It would seem ridiculous -- and incredibly intrusive -- if they published the names of people who the police spoke with, but who weren't arrested or cited for anything. I would think it would also open the police department to lawsuits from people who were upset about their names appearing in the newspaper when they hadn't done anything wrong.

I'm sure big towns and cities don't have room in the paper. Small towns live for this sort of thing.

[mamajag]

That is a bit harsh, don't you think? Some people are truly unnerved by law enforcement officers even when they've done noting wrong. How about extend a little grace?

Obviously I thought better of it or I wouldn't have edited, but since it's here...

 

There's a difference between unnerved and jumping in your car and ignoring them because you can't be bothered. I have no grace for someone who has blown everything so far out of proportion. I don't think leaving her kids in the car was an issue; I have said in prior posts that I have done similarly. I don't understand anything from the point the cop showed up onwards. What did she teach her kids about cops with her reaction? She created drama where none needed to exist then comes here and has been hamming it up for attention since.

 

I didn't see JAWM anywhere in any of her posts.

[Parrothead]

Maybe things are different from one state or one area to another, but our local police blotter never mentions any police action that didn't result in an arrest. It would seem ridiculous -- and incredibly intrusive -- if they published the names of people who the police spoke with, but who weren't arrested or cited for anything. I would think it would also open the police department to lawsuits from people who were upset about their names appearing in the newspaper when they hadn't done anything wrong.

There are no grounds for a suit when it is a matter of public record. You could go into your local PD or SO tomorrow ask for and receive a copy of every report issued for the past 30 days. It might cost you some because most places now charge an administrative fee to the public for copies, but you could get them.

[Catwoman]

I was in a hurry, and also didn't want to offer any information that I wasn't required to provide.

 

I've had my fair share of friendly conversations with law enforcement. I saw no point to having a discussion with this particular cop on this particular subject. He acted like he didn't want to be there any more than I did. And I was in no mood for a parenting lecture. Looking back, if I could have changed anything, it would have been to say even less than I did before getting in my car and starting my engine.

 

I probably would have chatted with the guy and offered to buy him a cup of coffee at Starbucks. :)

 

Our local police are really nice people. I wouldn't want to deal with them if I was a criminal, but I don't understand having an aversion to a polite policeman who didn't even accuse you of doing anything wrong.

 

I feel like I'm missing something here.

[SKL]

Do you live in an area where many people report parents to the police for every little thing? I only ask because you seem pretty worried about it, and I don't think it would even cross my mind to feel that way.

 

I don't really know, because I don't spend that much time out in the neighborhood.  My kids are just getting to the point where they are old enough to do a few things on their own (outside of my property).  The only other incident I recall in the city where I was last night was 3 years ago, when my then-3.5yo daughter was pouting and putzing after losing a privilege at the park.  She was walking very slowly, as was her typical reaction to being "controlled."  We were walking along a sidewalk in an absolutely safe part of the park (nothing around but grass on both sides of the path, no possibility of getting lost) and she got behind me and her sister.  I was essentially letting her tantrum play out by letting her putz to her heart's content.  However, another mom took her by the hand and when I came to claim her, I was berated repeatedly because "she was not with an adult."  :/  After the third round of verbal attacks I took my kid by the hand and turned to leave, but Mrs. Busybody came after me and said "I'm worried about her, please stay, I don't want you to go home and hurt her."  :/  I kept walking.  Shortly thereafter, I saw a cop driving around, though I can't say whether that was coincidental or not.

 

We live a fairly quiet existence and (knock on wood) my kids have only had one ER visit between them, so I haven't had occasion to defend my parenting to law enforcement authorities.  Of course I did have to have periodic social worker visits for the first 3 years after my kids' adoption, but that was a whole different animal.

[Parrothead]

Obviously I thought better of it or I wouldn't have edited, but since it's here...

 

There's a difference between unnerved and jumping in your car and ignoring them because you can't be bothered. I have no grace for someone who has blown everything so far out of proportion. I don't think leaving her kids in the car was an issue; I have said in prior posts that I have done similarly. I don't understand anything from the point the cop showed up onwards. What did she teach her kids about cops with her reaction? She created drama where none needed to exist then comes here and has been hamming it up for attention since.

 

I didn't see JAWM anywhere in any of her posts.

Being unnerved does not generally follow with rational actions. So what that you don't get it. The poor woman had every bad thing she could think of flash through her mind. Do you really think if she wasn't scared he would have been so angry?

 

She may not have posted JAWM, bit she did clearly state she was ranting. Rants generally aren't all that rational either. But one does them in a place one feels safe enough to not be judged harshly.

[mamajag]

Being unnerved does not generally follow with rational actions. So what that you don't get it. The poor woman had every bad thing she could think of flash through her mind. Do you really think if she wasn't scared he would have been so angry?

 

She may not have posted JAWM, bit she did clearly state she was ranting. Rants generally aren't all that rational either. But one does them in a place one feels safe enough to not be judged harshly.

Unnerved is "Gee, I'm in the presence of a police officer who is in a position of authority. I should be on my best behavior or there could be trouble." It's not assuming them to be some sort of evil beings and jumping in your car to avoid them. That's pretty crazy, paranoid behavior.

 

Truthfully, based on her recent post, I'm feeling pretty certain she's in this just for the attention. She's baiting for it. That's why this will be my last post in this thread. I've said what I think. No need to further feed the attention seeker.

[SKL]

I probably would have chatted with the guy and offered to buy him a cup of coffee at Starbucks. :)

 

Our local police are really nice people. I wouldn't want to deal with them if I was a criminal, but I don't understand having an aversion to a polite policeman who didn't even accuse you of doing anything wrong.

 

I feel like I'm missing something here.

 

Let's see if I can remember the verbal exchange.  As I approached the car, he asked if that was my car and I said "yes, those are my kids, they are 6."  He said, "I had to respond to a complaint of children left in a car."  I said, "I was only in there for 3 minutes."  He said, "doesn't matter, I had to check it out."  Trying to make light of the situation, I said, "it isn't hot," and he said, "that isn't the point."  That's when I felt I'd better clam it, and I got in the car to show that this was a non-event and I needed to go about my business.

 

I'm not sure if you're serious about the Starbucks thing.  Remember I had two kids with me.  Even if I weren't in a hurry to get somewhere before 9pm, and even if my kids weren't still waiting for their supper which my friend was preparing, I don't think dragging my kids in to Starbucks at that point would have made an awesome impression on the cop - who looked very much like he didn't want to be there.  I'm also not sure they are allowed to let people buy them a coffee, particularly people who are the subject of a complaint.

 

I find it intriguing that people are judging my character over the fact that I didn't want to shoot the sh!t with a cop in the middle of my very busy evening with my kids.

 

[Parrothead]

Unnerved is "Gee, I'm in the presence of a police officer who is in a position of authority. I should be on my best behavior or there could be trouble." It's not assuming them to be some sort of evil beings and jumping in your car to avoid them. That's pretty crazy, paranoid behavior.

 

Truthfully, based on her recent post, I'm feeling pretty certain she's in this just for the attention. She's baiting for it. That's why this will be my last post in this thread. I've said what I think. No need to further feed the attention seeker.

Okay then. Next time I'm unnerved I'll remember how I'm supposed to act. Thanks for point that out.

[SKL]

I don't understand anything from the point the cop showed up onwards. What did she teach her kids about cops with her reaction? She created drama where none needed to exist ....

 

What are you talking about?  Where have I said anything about my reaction in front of the cop or my kids?  Or is shutting up and moving on with the next item on our agenda some kind of extreme reaction?

 

[beaners]

My next door neighbor growing up was a sheriff, and our families were close enough friends that he got one of my siblings out of quite a bit of trouble for a youthful indiscretion.  My BIL is a police officer.  I'd still be completely freaked out by someone from a police car, uniformed or not, coming up to me.  Heck, ambulance and fire sirens even make me nervous.

[Parrothead]

My next door neighbor growing up was a sheriff, and our families were close enough friends that he got one of my siblings out of quite a bit of trouble for a youthful indiscretion. My BIL is a police officer. I'd still be completely freaked out by someone from a police car, uniformed or not, coming up to me. Heck, ambulance and fire sirens even make me nervous.

Shoot, I was a cop, married to a cop, sister of a cop, daughter of a retired cop. If I get pulled my hands start to shake like I've got a body in the trunk I don't want exposed.

[Little Nyssa]

Chiming in late to say... has nobody noticed the post upthread in which a policeman gives a child a coupon for a free CUPCAKE? Really, people!

[Catwoman]

Let's see if I can remember the verbal exchange. As I approached the car, he asked if that was my car and I said "yes, those are my kids, they are 6." He said, "I had to respond to a complaint of children left in a car." I said, "I was only in there for 3 minutes." He said, "doesn't matter, I had to check it out." Trying to make light of the situation, I said, "it isn't hot," and he said, "that isn't the point." That's when I felt I'd better clam it, and I got in the car to show that this was a non-event and I needed to go about my business.

 

I'm not sure if you're serious about the Starbucks thing. Remember I had two kids with me. Even if I weren't in a hurry to get somewhere before 9pm, and even if my kids weren't still waiting for their supper which my friend was preparing, I don't think dragging my kids in to Starbucks at that point would have made an awesome impression on the cop - who looked very much like he didn't want to be there. I'm also not sure they are allowed to let people buy them a coffee, particularly people who are the subject of a complaint.

 

I find it intriguing that people are judging my character over the fact that I didn't want to shoot the sh!t with a cop in the middle of my very busy evening with my kids.

 

I don't think anyone is judging your character. It just seems like there was no reason not to spend a few minutes talking with the policeman instead of just getting in your car and driving away. Frankly, it sounds like you were kind of rude to a guy who was simply doing his job. It doesn't sound like he said anything nasty to you, and he didn't threaten you with any kind of citation.

 

I can understand that you wanted to get to the library, but it would have been easy to simply smile at the officer and ask if you could get going, because you needed to get some books back to the library before it closed. You're making it sound like you just walked away from the officer, got into your car, and walked away.

[beaners]

Chiming in late to say... has nobody noticed the post upthread in which a policeman gives a child a coupon for a free CUPCAKE? Really, people!

 

Truthfully, I'm still having trouble getting over the post upthread where the person called the cops on 8 year olds climbing through a dog door.  

[SKL]

Unnerved is "Gee, I'm in the presence of a police officer who is in a position of authority. I should be on my best behavior or there could be trouble." It's not assuming them to be some sort of evil beings and jumping in your car to avoid them. That's pretty crazy, paranoid behavior.

 

Truthfully, based on her recent post, I'm feeling pretty certain she's in this just for the attention. She's baiting for it. That's why this will be my last post in this thread. I've said what I think. No need to further feed the attention seeker.

 

If there had been no cop there, I would have jumped in my car and driven to the library, as I had previously planned.  Having a cop there does not make this course of action suddenly crazy and paranoid.

 

Of course my post was seeking attention.  Why else does anyone post a rant on a forum?

[SKL]

I don't think anyone is judging your character. It just seems like there was no reason not to spend a few minutes talking with the policeman instead of just getting in your car and driving away. Frankly, it sounds like you were kind of rude to a guy who was simply doing his job. It doesn't sound like he said anything nasty to you, and he didn't threaten you with any kind of citation.

 

I can understand that you wanted to get to the library, but it would have been easy to simply smile at the officer and ask if you could get going, because you needed to get some books back to the library before it closed. You're making it sound like you just walked away from the officer, got into your car, and walked away.

 

It's not like he was saying anything to me.  You know how cops are, they putz around after you're all done with them so they can call in their status and so on.  And I didn't walk away, because I had never walked past my car door in the first place.  I just acted like I was doing nothing out of the ordinary and now I was going to be on my way.

[Parrothead]

It's not like he was saying anything to me. You know how cops are, they putz around after you're all done with them so they can call in their status and so on. And I didn't walk away, because I had never walked past my car door in the first place. I just acted like I was doing nothing out of the ordinary and now I was going to be on my way.

If he wanted to keep you there he would have.

[Catwoman]

It's not like he was saying anything to me. You know how cops are, they putz around after you're all done with them so they can call in their status and so on. And I didn't walk away, because I had never walked past my car door in the first place. I just acted like I was doing nothing out of the ordinary and now I was going to be on my way.

Thanks for the clarification -- it makes more sense to me now. I had been picturing it differently.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Let's see if I can remember the verbal exchange.  As I approached the car, he asked if that was my car and I said "yes, those are my kids, they are 6."  He said, "I had to respond to a complaint of children left in a car."  I said, "I was only in there for 3 minutes."  He said, "doesn't matter, I had to check it out."  Trying to make light of the situation, I said, "it isn't hot," and he said, "that isn't the point."  That's when I felt I'd better clam it, and I got in the car to show that this was a non-event and I needed to go about my business.

 

I'm not sure if you're serious about the Starbucks thing.  Remember I had two kids with me.  Even if I weren't in a hurry to get somewhere before 9pm, and even if my kids weren't still waiting for their supper which my friend was preparing, I don't think dragging my kids in to Starbucks at that point would have made an awesome impression on the cop - who looked very much like he didn't want to be there.  I'm also not sure they are allowed to let people buy them a coffee, particularly people who are the subject of a complaint.

 

I find it intriguing that people are judging my character over the fact that I didn't want to shoot the sh!t with a cop in the middle of my very busy evening with my kids.

 

Wait.  Now they're only 6?  And they took self defense for 3 1/2 years?  

[Joker]

Cops aren't above the law and they're not all awesome people. The fact that some of you are fine sitting around talking with them, and buying them coffee, doesn't make the fact that there are bad ones go away. My first solo encounter with the police ended with the men in my family furious and calling for an officer to be terminated. I would never pull over now unless I was in a crowded place. I don't care what the officer behind me is thinking. I don't think just because they're wearing a uniform means they want what's best for me or my family and that will color how I respond.

 

SKL had done nothing wrong or illegal and was totally within her rights to get in her car and drive away. I don't get those that want to make this out to be something else because she did either of those things.

[SKL]

Wait.  Now they're only 6?  And they took self defense for 3 1/2 years?  

 

Yes, karate/self-defense was offered weekly (year-round) at their preschool/KG, and they were enrolled from the time my youngest (now 6.5) turned 3.  For the past year, they have been taking karate at The Little Gym.

[Catwoman]

Wait. Now they're only 6? And they took self defense for 3 1/2 years?

OK, now I'm totally confused. :confused:

 

I thought they were 7, and I'd completely overlooked the part about them having already taken 3 1/2 years of self defense until Jean just pointed it out.

 

As usual, I feel like I missed something.

[SKL]

I never said they were 7.  I said they are second-graders.

[Catwoman]

Yes, karate/self-defense was offered weekly (year-round) at their preschool/KG, and they were enrolled from the time my youngest (now 6.5) turned 3. For the past year, they have been taking karate at The Little Gym.

You don't actually believe that two little 6yo girls would be able to defend themselves against an adult based upon some karate lessons at Preschool and The Little Gym, right?

[SKL]

You don't actually believe that two little 6yo girls would be able to defend themselves against an adult based upon some karate lessons at Preschool and The Little Gym, right?

 

I was responding to Red Lunatic's assertion that unlike a child, an adult "might" have taken self-defense lessons.

 

I do not believe there was any risk that they would need to defend themselves against an adult.  But Red Lunatic seemed to think that martial arts were relevant to the discussion.

 

As a matter of fact, they have learned some very useful skills.  I don't send them into the inner city with the thought that they will be safe against hardened criminals, but it is certainly better than nothing - and they are better equipped than some adults.

 

[twoxcell]

 

Truthfully, I'm still having trouble getting over the post upthread where the person called the cops on 8 year olds climbing through a dog door.

What is there to get over? I'm confused? The boys were climbing into a vacant house through the dog door. They do not live there and had no business being there. I had already told them they should not be there and they still returned with friends to do it again. I told them again they should not be there and they all ran, yet they tried to return again but left when they saw me. I have no idea where they live nor do I know the owners of the home so I called the non emergency line. I'm 100% certain if I hadn't they would have come back and gone into the home again. In their mind I'm sure it was a cool new hang out. By the way I talked to them from my yard and they also saw me through my open kitchen window the second time. Of course they lied to the police which is why I had to ID them. It was not a fun day for me by the way.

[twoxcell]

 

I never said they were 7.  I said they are second-graders.

Since when are 6 year olds second grader? Are they going into second grade? I'm confused.

[SKL]

My daughters are in 2nd grade.  What is the confusion?  One will be 7 in October, the other in January.

[twoxcell]

 

My daughters are in 2nd grade.  What is the confusion?  One will be 7 in October, the other in January.

Well your state must have a very late cutoff because there are no 6 year olds in 2nd grade here. That was the confusion I suppose.

[Catwoman]

Well your state must have a very late cutoff because there are no 6 year olds in 2nd grade here. That was the confusion I suppose.

Same here. Where we live, 6yo children are either in kindergarten or first grade. It must be different where SKL lives.

[SKL]

In my state, most but not all kids are 7 going into 2nd grade.

[kiwik]

I'm sorry you had such a hard evening. As a single mother I do understand the difficulties and I do leave my kids in the car outside the dairy (corner shop) and the preschool. Admittedly I think there are far fewer abductions here but cars with kids in have been stolen. It is I suspect illegal as kids aren't supposed to be left without reasonable supervision until 14.

 

But kids are killed in this country each year because people didn't call the police. Because people thought they shouldn't interfere, that they should accept different child rearing values and practices. I would far rather be checked up on un-necessarily than have a child not checked up when they should have been. We are responsible for each others kids - it is part of being a society.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I probably would have chatted with the guy and offered to buy him a cup of coffee at Starbucks. :)

 

Our local police are really nice people. I wouldn't want to deal with them if I was a criminal, but I don't understand having an aversion to a polite policeman who didn't even accuse you of doing anything wrong.

 

I feel like I'm missing something here.

 

Unfortunately, ours aren't.  I worked in law enforcement and law offices for 15 years.  I loved policemen and was surprised I didn't marry one.

 

Six years ago, we moved here.  One sheriff is our very own Boss Hogg. Following his failure to prevent one of his deputies from going out in his marked police car, killing his ex-wife in a public place (and in front of one of their children), then being apprehended after shooting a state patrol officer, the sheriff RAN FOR OFFICE again. He lost and was eventually sentenced to 30 days in jail (suspended!) and a $500 fine for misconduct.

 

A neighboring county's sheriff was sentenced to eight months in federal prison and fined $15K for his part in covering up widespread corruption (including selling more than 2 kilos of cocaine) within his department.

 

Earlier this year, a police chief 200 miles away was sentenced for his part in distributing prescription drugs and breaking into a pharmacy.

 

Also earlier this year, the ABC was doing a stakeout in the town of our state flagship school.  They completely overreacted, pulling guns on a group of three college women when they entered their car after leaving a grocery store. They did not property identify themselves, terrorized the women, who fled in the car while dialing 911. The women pulled over after confirming they were indeed valid police officers.  The driver spent the night in jail.  Her crime?  Purchasing a case of bottled water--which the ABC mistook for beer.  Following local outrage, and acknowledging the possibility of a lawsuit, the ABC revamped their policies for detaining suspects.

 

90% of the officers we see have a phone stuck in their ear.  The other 10% sit at the same speed trap.  (That's a slight exaggeration--each year, we see approximately five officers who are driving while NOT using their cell phones.)

 

Lastly, earlier this year, state patrol pulled me over to "warn" me that I was violating a law--that didn't exist.  I challenged the officer, who could not provide me with the statute he claimed I violated.  Believe me, after five minutes of my arguing, if such a law had existed, I have no doubt he'd have written a ticket.  I later confirmed with the state patrol office that no such law existed.

 

I can't make the same claim, that our local police are really nice people.  I have no doubt that some here are, but I've lost much of my respect for officers here.  It's far more than just one "bad apple," and it's more widespread than just one poorly run department.

 

So while the officer who approached SKL did nothing wrong, if it were me, I would be annoyed right off the bat, short, and wanting to be done with the conversation.  The only thing that would temper my attitude would be the fact that my kids were watching, and I wouldn't want to tick him off and end up having to spend the night in jail.  But I'd be furious.

[Catwoman]

Unfortunately, ours aren't. I worked in law enforcement and law offices for 15 years. I loved policemen and was surprised I didn't marry one.

 

Six years ago, we moved here. One sheriff is our very own Boss Hogg. Following his failure to prevent one of his deputies from going out in his marked police car, killing his ex-wife in a public place (and in front of one of their children), then being apprehended after shooting a state patrol officer, the sheriff RAN FOR OFFICE again. He lost and was eventually sentenced to 30 days in jail (suspended!) and a $500 fine for misconduct.

 

A neighboring county's sheriff was sentenced to eight months in federal prison and fined $15K for his part in covering up widespread corruption (including selling more than 2 kilos of cocaine) within his department.

 

Earlier this year, a police chief 200 miles away was sentenced for his part in distributing prescription drugs and breaking into a pharmacy.

 

Also earlier this year, the ABC was doing a stakeout in the town of our state flagship school. They completely overreacted, pulling guns on a group of three college women when they entered their car after leaving a grocery store. They did not property identify themselves, terrorized the women, who fled in the car while dialing 911. The women pulled over after confirming they were indeed valid police officers. The driver spent the night in jail. Her crime? Purchasing a case of bottled water--which the ABC mistook for beer. Following local outrage, and acknowledging the possibility of a lawsuit, the ABC revamped their policies for detaining suspects.

 

90% of the officers we see have a phone stuck in their ear. The other 10% sit at the same speed trap. (That's a slight exaggeration--each year, we see approximately five officers who are driving while NOT using their cell phones.)

 

Lastly, earlier this year, state patrol pulled me over to "warn" me that I was violating a law--that didn't exist. I challenged the officer, who could not provide me with the statute he claimed I violated. Believe me, after five minutes of my arguing, if such a law had existed, I have no doubt he'd have written a ticket. I later confirmed with the state patrol office that no such law existed.

 

I can't make the same claim, that our local police are really nice people. I have no doubt that some here are, but I've lost much of my respect for officers here. It's far more than just one "bad apple," and it's more widespread than just one poorly run department.

 

So while the officer who approached SKL did nothing wrong, if it were me, I would be annoyed right off the bat, short, and wanting to be done with the conversation. The only thing that would temper my attitude would be the fact that my kids were watching, and I wouldn't want to tick him off and end up having to spend the night in jail. But I'd be furious.

Wow -- I wouldn't want to live in a place where the police were like that! I guess most of the time, there's no way of knowing until it's too late, though. :(

[Catwoman]

My daughters are in 2nd grade. What is the confusion? One will be 7 in October, the other in January.

I think the confusion is that many of us live in school districts where the cutoff dates for Kindergarten are much earlier than they apparently are where you live.

 

I have heard of a few places where a child can enter kindergarten if they turn 5 in October, but none of the districts near us would allow a 4yo to enter kindergarten if she wouldn't be turning 5 until January of the following year.

[awisha.]

"How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy!"

I think I love you.

[Tammi K]

Since when are 6 year olds second grader? Are they going into second grade? I'm confused.

 

 

Well your state must have a very late cutoff because there are no 6 year olds in 2nd grade here. That was the confusion I suppose.

I was 4 when I started Kindy in a public school, therefore 6 when I started 2nd grade. My oldest was also 4 when she started kindy at a DoDDs school. Several of my niece/nephews started at 4 in the local Catholic school. Not completely unusual and I certainly wouldn't call someone a liar because of it.

[twoxcell]

I never called anyone a liar? I just said I was confused. ;)