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Rant: To the woman sipping coffee outside Starbucks at 8:30pm . . .


SKL
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This is getting silly. SKL has posted multiple times before on the afterschooling board about her girls, including the fact they are younger than their classmates. She wanted them both in the same grade and worked with the school to accelerate them.

 

Yes, but in this post, it led people to believe they were older than they actually are.  Not everyone has read her afterschooling posts.

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The only cop we know really well (a family member) regularly jokes and brags about the ability cops have to say "STOP RESISTING ARREST" and beat the hell out of someone if they're annoyed with them. As long as they avoid their police camera.

 

I really am surprised how quickly people are willing to go along with "the authorities."

I don't think people have to kiss up to the police, or anything, but there is a proper way to address them.  I'm a little surprised she just stopped talking and got in her car the way she did.  It probably did not leave a good impression with the police officer.  

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Yes, but in this post, it led people to believe they were older than they actually are.  Not everyone has read her afterschooling posts.

 

No, there are states where 6 going into 2nd grade is not unusual.  I should clarify that my state actually has 2 cutoffs, with December 31 being the cutoff for advanced kids at the discretion of parents / school system.  (Or at least, that was the case when my kids entered KG.  I haven't checked recently.)  About half of the kids in my daughters' KG entered KG at age 4.  Granted, Miss E was born 6 days after the extended cutoff.  I don't think that is really very material.

 

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FYI from http://users.stargate.net/~cokids/kindergarten_cut-off_dates.htm

 

May be somewhat outdated but it shows that kids can be 6 in August and still go to 2nd grade in almost all states.

 

In order to enter kindergarten, children must be age five in all states. The following are a list of cut -off dates by which the child must have turned five in order to qualify for kindergarten.

Alabama- September 1

Alaska- August 15

Arizona- September 1

Arkansas-September 15

British Columbia, Canada- December 31

California-December 3

Colorado- September 15

Connecticut-January 1

Delaware

Florida-September 1

Georgia- September 1

Hawai'i-December 31

Idaho- September 1

Illinois-September 1

Indiana- JULY 1 (moved from June 1 -- SB157 to roll back to Sept 1 month-by-month over 3 yrs to Sept 1 starting 99/00 July 1; 00/01 Aug 1; 2001/02 Sept1)

Iowa- September 1 or 15

Kansas-August 31

Kentucky-October 1

Louisiana- September 30 (except Orleans Parish 12/31)

Maine-October 15

Maryland-Entering kindergartners must be 5 by Dec. 31

Massachusetts-September 1

Michigan-December 1

Minnesota-September 1

Mississippi-September 1

Missouri-AUGUST 1 (moved from July 1)

Montana-December 2

Nebraska-October 15

Nevada-September 30

New Hamshire-September 30

New Jersey-November 30

New Mexico

New York-November 30

North Carolina-October 16

North Dakota- December 2

Ohio-September 30

Oklahoma- September 1

Oregon-September 1

Pennsylvania (dates vary from district to district)

Rhode Island-
from September 1 to December 31

South Carolina- September 1

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas-September 1

Utah-August 31

Vermont-dates vary from 9/1 to 1/1

Virginia-September 30

Washington- August 31

West Virginia- September 1

Wisconsin-September 1

Wyoming

District of Columbia

Puerto Rico- September 1

Department of Defense (DOD)-October 31 (changed from December 31)

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I don't think people have to kiss up to the police, or anything, but there is a proper way to address them. I'm a little surprised she just stopped talking and got in her car the way she did. It probably did not leave a good impression with the police officer.

:iagree:

 

All I know is that if I was distrustful or suspicious of the police, I would try to make a positive impression on them if I was in SKL's position, rather than to drive off without a simple, "Have a nice evening," or whatever. How hard is it to be polite? I know she was annoyed, but it wasn't the policeman's fault that he had to respond to a call.

 

But I guess it's also pretty easy to say what I would do, when I have never actually been in that situation. ;)

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I actually wish I had not learned that we can compare "likes." Now I hope it doesn't become like those "please vote for my baby in xyz photo contest" things. :P

I like posts all the time, but if I thought someone was starting a thread just to get a bunch of likes, I probably wouldn't like them. ;)

 

I'm kinda mean that way. :D

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Wow, this is becoming The Thread that Wouldn't Die. :eek:

 

Hey SKL, maybe it'll go off on a crazy tangent about cupcakes or kilts or something, and you'll be as famous as Paige from the Great Cupcake Kerfuffle thread. :D

 

It sounds like you could use a break from all the criticism and I don't think anything constructive or helpful is going to come out of this in the end, anyway, so if you want me to sabotage the thread and turn it into something goofy, just let me know.

 

As it is, it has become nothing more than a lot of re-hashing of the same few points over and over again (on all sides,) and I thought you might be getting pretty sick of it.

I agree.  I don't necessarily agree with the way SKL handled it, but it's gotten pretty uncomfortable for her.  Sorry, SKL!  Go off on your crazy tangent, Catwoman!  ;)

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I know I said I was gonna shut up, but here I go again.

 

Catwoman, let's just say I was PI$$ED that someone instantly called the cops under the circumstances. (In case that didn't come across already, LOL.)  I was probably seething, and what I really wanted to say to the cop was, "WHO would have done that?  What a jerk."  But because I sensed that the cop was not going to be sympathetic, I felt it was better I kept my thoughts and feelings bottled up until I could vent safely.  Add that to the fact that I really was in a hurry, and all those other factors like having not eaten all day except a bowl of cereal (not the cop's fault, I know), and I was not ready to put on an "I love you coppy cop" show then and there.

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I actually wish I had not learned that we can compare "likes."  Now I hope it doesn't become like those "please vote for my baby in xyz photo contest" things.  :p

 

 

Now that you've mentioned it, will you please vote for my baby?  And give me a few likes?  :P

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Now you can feel Liked, too -- I just liked your post. :)

Hey, somebody just liked my post where I said I liked your post! (Thanks, Just Kate! :))

 

This whole "liking" thing could really work for me......... ;)

 

Hey SKL, post something else so we can all like it. You might as well get something good out of this thread! :thumbup:

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I know I said I was gonna shut up, but here I go again.

 

Catwoman, let's just say I was PI$$ED that someone instantly called the cops under the circumstances. (In case that didn't come across already, LOL.)  I was probably seething, and what I really wanted to say to the cop was, "WHO would have done that?  What a jerk."  But because I sensed that the cop was not going to be sympathetic, I felt it was better I kept my thoughts and feelings bottled up until I could vent safely.  Add that to the fact that I really was in a hurry, and all those other factors like having not eaten all day except a bowl of cereal (not the cop's fault, I know), and I was not ready to put on an "I love you coppy cop" show then and there.

 

OMGosh, SKL, we are trying to get you out of the hot seat!   :willy_nilly:

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Hey, somebody just liked my post where I said I liked your post! (Thanks, Just Kate! :))

 

This whole "liking" thing could really work for me......... ;)

 

Hey SKL, post something else so we can all like it. You might as well get something good out of this thread! :thumbup:

 

Yeah, considering I've hardly gotten any work done on my Big Deadlines in the past 2 days . . . .

 

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Hey, somebody just liked my post where I said I liked your post! (Thanks, Just Kate! :))

 

This whole "liking" thing could really work for me......... ;)

 

Hey SKL, post something else so we can all like it. You might as well get something good out of this thread! :thumbup:

 

I haven't participated in this thread at all (however, I have enjoyed reading it!). I just couldn't resist, Catwoman. Excited to see what kind of crazy tangent you come up with (now the pressure is really on!!!). :)

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I know I said I was gonna shut up, but here I go again.

 

Catwoman, let's just say I was PI$$ED that someone instantly called the cops under the circumstances. (In case that didn't come across already, LOL.) I was probably seething, and what I really wanted to say to the cop was, "WHO would have done that? What a jerk." But because I sensed that the cop was not going to be sympathetic, I felt it was better I kept my thoughts and feelings bottled up until I could vent safely. Add that to the fact that I really was in a hurry, and all those other factors like having not eaten all day except a bowl of cereal (not the cop's fault, I know), and I was not ready to put on an "I love you coppy cop" show then and there.

Oh, OK!

 

So basically you were already being a lot nicer than you wanted to be. And if you knew you might end up saying the wrong thing if you kept talking, that would have ended in a far worse way.

 

It's good that you were able to realize that you were on the edge of a vent, and get yourself out of there before you actually said anything. Some of us would have handled it differently, but at least you knew your own limits and kept yourself out of trouble.

 

I'm just one of those idiots who is sickeningly polite, so pay no attention to me! :blush:

 

Oh, and I just liked your post, so you're really racking up those likes already. :D

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OMGosh, SKL, we are trying to get you out of the hot seat!   :willy_nilly:

 

Well you keep saying you don't understand why I wasn't nicer to the cop.  So I am trying to explain that.

 

I do realize that we will probably never agree.  But it seems like you really want to understand me.  Maybe I misread.

 

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Well you keep saying you don't understand why I wasn't nicer to the cop.  So I am trying to explain that.

 

I do realize that we will probably never agree.  But it seems like you really want to understand me.  Maybe I misread.

 

You did not misread.  I do want to understand you, and I'm going to take your word for it on the whole cop thing.  You don't have to defend yourself to me!  

 

I also feel so bad for you, too.  I know the situation sucked, and if someone isn't used to cops, it can be hard to know what to do.  

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Yes kids who are 6 in August could be going into 2nd here, the cutoff is September 1st. Schools here do not start until after labor day though so no one would actually be 6 in second grade. I was also confused about the grade level you stated since school hasn't even started here yet. Do you call your kids by the grade level they just finished or the one they will begin? I'm always confused by that. Either way your dd's birthdays are way past the cutoff for our state.

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Sorry I was so hard on you, SKL. :(

 

Your OP was so angry that I think I misinterpreted some of what actually happened. It all seems much clearer to me now that you have given us more details.

 

But please know that I never thought you'd done anything to hurt your kids or that you were a bad mom or anything like that. My only questions were about the intentions of the Starbucks lady and the encounter with the police officer. I never thought the policeman had any reason to suspect you of having done anything illegal.

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I know of two situations where the cops were called on kids in the car by themselves.

 

The first one was in a small town in a small strip mall (4 store and 1 restaurant all locally owned).  Someone called the cops on a lady who left her teenager and two elementary-aged children in her car while she and the owner of the shop where loading her car up, going back and forth between the car and the shop.  The customer also had an infant, which she had with her in a carseat.  I would have left the infant in the car with the other kids.  The cop came out and nothing came of it because the elementary-aged children were not left alone - there was a teenager in the car with them.

 

The second time was just last year.  This mom left her one of her 6yo triplets in the car at the grocery store (huge, busy store in the suburbs) to run in and buy milk.  She went home to find the police waiting for her because someone called about the child and gave the police her license tag.  I guess she left the parking lot before the police could get there, so officers were sent to her home.  She was reported to CPS and had to go to court.  She hasn't shared the outcome, but she didn't go to jail (which she was told was a possibility).

 

SKL, I'm glad the cop didn't give you a hard time.

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Yes kids who are 6 in August could be going into 2nd here, the cutoff is September 1st. Schools here do not start until after labor day though so no one would actually be 6 in second grade. I was also confused about the grade level you stated since school hasn't even started here yet. Do you call your kids by the grade level they just finished or the one they will begin? I'm always confused by that. Either way your dd's birthdays are way past the cutoff for our state.

 

School starts in August here.  Also, most of the summer camps are by grade level, and they go by the grade you're going into.  So I've been referring to my kids as 2nd graders since June.

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FYI from http://users.stargate.net/~cokids/kindergarten_cut-off_dates.htm

 

May be somewhat outdated but it shows that kids can be 6 in August and still go to 2nd grade in almost all states.

 

In order to enter kindergarten, children must be age five in all states. The following are a list of cut -off dates by which the child must have turned five in order to qualify for kindergarten.

Alabama- September 1

Alaska- August 15

Arizona- September 1

Arkansas-September 15

British Columbia, Canada- December 31

California-December 3

Colorado- September 15

Connecticut-January 1

Delaware

Florida-September 1

Georgia- September 1

Hawai'i-December 31

Idaho- September 1

Illinois-September 1

Indiana- JULY 1 (moved from June 1 -- SB157 to roll back to Sept 1 month-by-month over 3 yrs to Sept 1 starting 99/00 July 1; 00/01 Aug 1; 2001/02 Sept1)

Iowa- September 1 or 15

Kansas-August 31

Kentucky-October 1

Louisiana- September 30 (except Orleans Parish 12/31)

Maine-October 15

Maryland-Entering kindergartners must be 5 by Dec. 31

Massachusetts-September 1

Michigan-December 1

Minnesota-September 1

Mississippi-September 1

Missouri-AUGUST 1 (moved from July 1)

Montana-December 2

Nebraska-October 15

Nevada-September 30

New Hamshire-September 30

New Jersey-November 30

New Mexico

New York-November 30

North Carolina-October 16

North Dakota- December 2

Ohio-September 30

Oklahoma- September 1

Oregon-September 1

Pennsylvania (dates vary from district to district)

Rhode Island- Variable from September 1 to December 31

South Carolina- September 1

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas-September 1

Utah-August 31

Vermont-dates vary from 9/1 to 1/1

Virginia-September 30

Washington- August 31

West Virginia- September 1

Wisconsin-September 1

Wyoming

District of Columbia

Puerto Rico- September 1

Department of Defense (DOD)-October 31 (changed from December 31)

Michigan is now November 1st (as of this year, next year will be Oct. 1st, and the following Sept. 1st.) I had a fit because of the change, dd made old cut off but not new. We enrolled her in a private school so that she could go to kindergarten this year.

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NOBODY LIKE ANYMORE OF MY POSTS!!! I now have 1,234 likes, and I cannot tell you how happy that makes my number/pattern-loving brain. :D

 

 

 

 

just kidding, you can keep liking my posts.

 

I'm confused.  I can't tell what you really want me to do.   Am I supposed to like them or not?  

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I don't think people have to kiss up to the police, or anything, but there is a proper way to address them.  I'm a little surprised she just stopped talking and got in her car the way she did.  It probably did not leave a good impression with the police officer.

I have to admit that I find the OP's reaction and how she handled herself with the police officer to be odd, at the very least. But I've only met "good cops" and I also make sure I smile and say hello to police officers in public because I feel that it is quite sad that many treat them with mistrust and / or anger.

 

So from my experience, if I witnessed the OP and her interaction with the police officer, my jaw would'be dropped to the floor.

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I have to admit that I find the OP's reaction and how she handled herself with the police officer to be odd, at the very least. But I've only met "good cops" and I also make sure I smile and say hello to police officers in public because I feel that it is quite sad that many treat them with mistrust and / or anger.

 

So from my experience, if I witnessed the OP and her interaction with the police officer, my jaw would'be dropped to the floor.

 

Well, I probably did smile and say "Hello" first, as I was walking toward my car, since that is normal for me and also polite.  I didn't think I needed to mention that.

 

For a clearer visual, I should probably note that FedEx was north of my car, and the officer had stopped his car on the south side of mine.  So when I say I was walking toward my car, I was actually walking toward the officer AND my car.  They were in the same direction from FedEx.  During this walk I made eye contact and the usual greeting that you give someone who is obviously waiting to talk to you and you're curious as to what they want.  But of course the wheels were turning in my brain, "who the HECK called the cops on me that fast!?"

 

I think maybe people are picturing me walking *away* from the cop and to my car.  No, that did not happen.

 

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Our state made it a law that you can't leave kids alone in the car at a ridiculously high age--can't even recall--like close to driving age. Not applicable to me anymore. The law was made after a kidnapping while the mom was in a convenience store.

 

Still... we cannot make laws to cover every contingency. I was left in the car routinely as a kid in a small town while my mother went into a dress shop!  There was a meter and it sometimes ran out. My sisters and I would play dolls or whatever. It would not be allowed anywhere today but nobody thought it was wrong then.

 

I can see being upset, but it's really good that the cop didn't make an issue of it. It ended well, even if it was a little shocking for you and your kids.

 

My sister had someone berate her for leaving her sleeping toddler locked in a car parked right in front of the drug store so she could see it and so others would know it was temporary (it wasn't an official space). She was alone,on the way home from the doctor, and he was terribly sick and hadn't been sleeping  but had fallen asleep in the car. She was running in to get the prescription. She made a judgment call that the fact he had just fallen asleep and needed to sleep was more important than risking waking him while she ran inside for 3 minutes.  She made the best judgment she could as a parent, wasn't being negligent, someone didn't like it, but it ended okay.

 

It is aggravating when it happens to you (and I would feel like you do) but it is also good that people care about other people's kids. Someone could have been driving by and noticed your kids in the car and just called 911 not knowing the circumstances but concerned about kids alone in a car. They don't have to be making judgments. But again, I understand your feelings.

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Well, I probably did smile and say "Hello" first, as I was walking toward my car, since that is normal for me and also polite.  I didn't think I needed to mention that.

 

For a clearer visual, I should probably note that FedEx was north of my car, and the officer had stopped his car on the south side of mine.  So when I say I was walking toward my car, I was actually walking toward the officer AND my car.  They were in the same direction from FedEx.  During this walk I made eye contact and the usual greeting that you give someone who is obviously waiting to talk to you and you're curious as to what they want.  But of course the wheels were turning in my brain, "who the HECK called the cops on me that fast!?"

 

I think maybe people are picturing me walking *away* from the cop and to my car.  No, that did not happen.

The visual that I find odd is how you ended the conversation and got into your car. But maybe I'm imagining it differently. I'd certainly not offer to buy him a coffee, I think this is creepy, but I'd be friendlier to the officer. However, I don't blame you for being defensive, under the circumstances.

 

In any case, what's done is done. Don't fret about it.

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Well, I probably did smile and say "Hello" first, as I was walking toward my car, since that is normal for me and also polite.  I didn't think I needed to mention that.

 

For a clearer visual, I should probably note that FedEx was north of my car, and the officer had stopped his car on the south side of mine.  So when I say I was walking toward my car, I was actually walking toward the officer AND my car.  They were in the same direction from FedEx.  During this walk I made eye contact and the usual greeting that you give someone who is obviously waiting to talk to you and you're curious as to what they want.  But of course the wheels were turning in my brain, "who the HECK called the cops on me that fast!?"

 

I think maybe people are picturing me walking *away* from the cop and to my car.  No, that did not happen.

 

 

I think we're going to need a diagram and a timeline to make a definitive judgment.  As well as your children's birth certificates..

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I think we're going to need a diagram and a timeline to make a definitive judgment.  As well as your children's birth certificates..

lol

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