Limiting Fiction Reading...what do you guys think?

[JessMcG]

My dd10 is a big fiction reader.  She'll pick reading over almost anything and could spend hours reading fiction everyday.  I was like this as a child and I have a few concerns.  I want her to learn what she enjoys producing and become skilled at it.  How is that supposed to happen when she spends all her free time consuming other people's stories?  Also, big stretches of reading during the day seem to make her more sullen and unwilling to engage with other family members.

 

So a couple of months ago, I instituted fiction reading limits to one hour during the day and unlimited from bedtime to when she decides to turn the lights out.  I explained my reasoning to her, and although she wasn't thrilled, she's accepted the limits without much of a fight.  I did tell her that if she was more active with her reading....writing reviews, memorizing favorite passages, or keeping a reading journal, etc...that she could read more.  But she has been unwilling to do that so far.

 

So what do you guys think?  Is there something I'm missing here by not letting dd read fiction nonstop?  Has anyone dealt with a child like this before?  And how did you handle it?

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I was that kid/teen and I wasn't sullen and withdrawn because of what I was reading; I was reading to escape an unhappy situation. I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but she could be escaping *something* that's making her unhappy. My guardians ended up taking fiction books away from me and limiting my time and it just made me more unhappy and depressed. I was suicidal at age 12. (Granted I had other issues I was dealing with, but taking away my safe places if you will did not help.)

 

I thought we were supposed to be encouraging a love of reading, not demanding a result out of everything they read.

[Ellie]

I can't imagine being told that I couldn't read fiction. :blink:   It would be a death blow for me.

[TraceyS/FL]

I was like this as a child and I have a few concerns.  I want her to learn what she enjoys producing and become skilled at it.  How is that supposed to happen when she spends all her free time consuming other people's stories?  Also, big stretches of reading during the day seem to make her more sullen and unwilling to engage with other family members.

Soooo..... did you then NOT become skilled at producing anything? Are you saying you didn't turn out "ok"?

 

NOt saying there isn't something about what she is reading that might be causing issues - but i would have been like Ellie - it would have done me in.

 

I could see adding in some non-fiction for a time a day, but taking away her reading seems harsh.....

[Bang!Zoom!]

You asked, " Is there something I'm missing here by not letting dd read fiction nonstop?"

 

I'd have to say yes, there is something being missed.

 

You could reverse the situation by reading with her and doing very thoughtful, intentional discussion about the material.

[tabinfl]

I was that kid, a voracious reader from an early age. I didn't care if my mother sent me to my room, I'd just read. For me, that love of reading, and the things I learned from it (just because it's fiction doesn't mean there's nothing to learn) serve me well to this day.

 

If she's getting the schoolwork done that is required of her and has sufficient exercise, I can't think of a better leisure activity than reading for pleasure!

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I was that kid, a voracious reader from an early age. I didn't care if my mother sent me to my room, I'd just read. For me, that love of reading, and the things I learned from it (just because it's fiction doesn't mean there's nothing to learn) serve me well to this day.

 

If she's getting the schoolwork done that is required of her and has sufficient exercise, I can't think of a better leisure activity than reading for pleasure!

 

I learned a LOT from fiction; especially historical fiction.

[EKS]

Instead of restricting reading, I would give her things to do in addition to reading.

[JudoMom]

Maybe instead of limiting reading, you could require her to spend a certain amount of time on a project and get a certain amount of physical activity per day?  I would not let my boys read non-stop to the exclusion of other activities.  And anything that causes negative attitudes gets a very close look.  

[elegantlion]

I can't imagine limiting free reading time. The only reason, perhaps, is if she is being non-compliant on chores - but then I wouldn't limit time to an hour a day. To a book lover that kind of like telling them they can only eat 1/4 of a Kit Kat bar a day and leaving the uneaten part lying around to just be watched and not touched. 

 

As far as producing, no, not everything read needs a production behind it. I would encourage you to buy the Mp3s from PHP on literary analysis. Even at the high school level, she recommends not every book be analyzed. At 10 I would expect basic analysis and only on certain books. The process of writing about everything you read can suck the life right out of a book. At 10, it should still be about wonder and discovery. Heck, I'm 46 and still want that. 

[Chrysalis Academy]

Yeah, I agree.  Being limited to an hour a day of fiction reading would have killed me as a 10 year old.  It would kill me now! And my dd would be miserable.  

 

I agree with the suggestion to require additional things, rather than limiting fiction reading.  For example, I'm requiring my dd to read nonfiction for history this year (along with fiction).  She can read as much fiction as she wants, but she is required to read a certain amount of nonfiction as well.  Same with production - she's required to do a particular amount of writing, some of it about the fiction she reads, some about the nonfiction, reports, etc.  I don't require creative writing but will provide time in the school day for her to do it if she wants to.  

 

She will find that these requirements might limit the amount of time she has available for fiction reading, and that's fine.  There are things other than reading that have to be done every day.  I still struggle with this fact!  But I would never try and limit arbitrarily the amount of time my kids spend reading.

[Word Nerd]

Instead of restricting reading, I would give her things to do in addition to reading.

 

This. If there's a certain project or practical skill you want her to do every day, I think it would be better to assign it as homework for a certain amount of time rather than telling her she needs to go find something to do except for the thing she most wants to do. Within reason, she should be able to spend her free time pursuing her interests--or else it isn't really free time. Restricting her reading during the day only encourages her to stay up really late reading, which doesn't seem more healthy to me; I'm not sure what you've gained by putting that restriction in place.

[Arcadia]

The process of writing about everything you read can suck the life right out of a book. At 10, it should still be about wonder and discovery.

:iagree:

My kids have enough assigned reading and required output for school. I don't care if they want to read non-fiction from when they done with school work to bedtime. I only get annoyed when they are still awake reading at 2am.

[Bang!Zoom!]

I'd be all stealth like and pop my head in every half hour with some kind of weird question..

 

"Hey! How's the weather in that book?" ...then dash back out..lol

 

(Seriously though, this is one of my top spin questions..has relation to discussing the "setting")

 

"Hey! What color is the main characters hair?"

 

You get the idea.

 

Two other things...if you are unfamiliar with how to *do* guided readings together, check into the Junior Great Books program for leadership. I simply sigh when I go to say how GREAT that is...

 

Two: Get a copy of WEM (Well Educated Mind) to read for yourself.

 

Those are two resources you could most certainly use as backbones to understand how vast your range and influence as a teacher (and student of) is in the world of fiction.

[Lori D.]

 

 

nm

[Candid]

Yes, I think you are making a mistake. Children in our day will grow up to be part of an informational culture and do informational related work and how do you gain information in such a culture: you read. The better you read the more you'll be worth (obviously this falls apart in some specific instances, but overall I think it already holds). 

 

I agree with the idea of giving her other work in the household.

 

I do not agree with the idea that she is reading to escape something sad in her life. I was a voracious reader and had not sadness to escape from. 

 

[JessMcG]

Thank you ladies!  You have given me food for thought.  I do look back on my own childhood in which I spent much of my time buried in a book with mixed emotions.  I agree that there is a lot to be learned from fiction, beyond just being treated to a good story.  But everything in moderation, you know?  I really didn't learn to produce anything in my childhood years.  I had an artistic bent, but never did anything to develop it.  I would much rather have been entertained by a book.   No time for any artistic development now!

 

She is allowed to read unlimited nonfiction during the day.  And she probably reads a good 2 hours in her bed.  So that's 3 hours of fiction reading a day.  I have basically replaced the extra afternoon time she would normally spend reading (around 1 or 2 hours) with Project Time.  During that time, all my kids who aren't napping are free to work on whatever they want, as long as they are producing something (there's a lot of painting, coloring, drawing, movie producing, and paper airplane making going on over here!).  Either that, or they can go outside to play.

 

As far as reading being an escape...DH and I have considered that and I keep it in the back of my mind.  But I honestly don't think that's the main issue here, at least not in a dark way.  Of course it is easier to sit back and read a story then it is to do work (for us literary types anyway).  So I guess that counts as an escape.

 

I do like the idea of ME being a more active participant in what she is reading by having more discussions about her books.  I have really let that slide and it could be such a fun way for us to bond.  I should go back through the Well Educated Mind.  And I will look into the Junior Great Books program (I remember doing that in my own elementary years!).  Any other suggestions for helpful resources for me would be much appreciated!  

 

[elegantlion]

My son and I start each morning with read-aloud time. We still do that and he's almost 16. It's a favorite time for both of us to share in a book. It's a nice transition for starting school as well. In our case, my ds is not a big reader, so it exposes him to books he wouldn't read on his own. 

[Ravin]

I would strew books in front of her, but as an adult for whom a chance to read for pleasure is limited, I treasure all the reading I got to do as a child.

 

I learned a great deal from reading fiction as a child. And it germinated my creativity that led to writing as a hobby I have long enjoyed.

 

I say, let her read!

[Rosie_0801]

We can learn so much about how people work by reading fiction. I have put that knowledge into practical use, but not in a way that should be kept in a folio.

[texasmama]

I've not read the other replies.

 

I have a ten year old who can sometimes spend hours per day reading fiction.  That is great with me.  I don't require him to give output regarding the books.  All I do is provide him with good, quality fiction and not "twaddle".  Age ten is the age for pouring interesting stories into your brain.  IMO, it is not the age for requiring a ton of output about those stories.  I was like this as a child and developed a love of reading that has lasted since then. 

 

Also, if you limit reading, what will your dd be doing instead?

 

ETA:  In addition to independent reading, I do many read alouds and discuss them as we go.  No "output" is required other than oral output for those read alouds.

[NASDAQ]

I guess I really don't understand the preference for colouring and paper airplane making over reading.

 

I read almost exclusively non-fiction as an adult. As a child I read a great deal of fiction. The better writing for children is overwhelmingly fiction.

[Elfknitter.#]

I don't understand the need to have her produce things daily. What is it you would wish she did accomplish and how is restricting fiction accomplishing that goal?

[misty.warden]

I don't understand the need to have her produce things daily. What is it you would wish she did accomplish and how is restricting fiction accomplishing that goal?

 

This boggles me as well. Why the emphasis on producing original work? Not everyone wants or is capable of producing original, creative content on a schedule, least of all children.

 

Personal anecdote time: being forced to produce creatively, to make my own drawings/paintings/stories with limited exposure to art forms made by anyone else, and shamed for wanting to read fiction made me *hate* creative assignments, freeze up when asked to write that way, and purposefully avoid art classes for nearly a decade. I can't imagine doing that to another person or what could be gained from it.

[Mom in High Heels]

I can't imagine being told I couldn't read.  I would hold some serious resentment towards my mom.

[VaKim]

There has to be lots and lots of "input" before there can be any "output." My oldest dd (18 now) read nearly constantly, mostly fiction, when she was that age till about 14. Now, she writes constantly and makes videos. As long as she isn't constantly reading what we call "candy" books here (mindless junk), there is not a thing wrong with it. Now, if she is reading a bunch of angsty teen stuff all the time, I can certainly see that making her sullen. Let her read. Just make sure there is lots of good quality fiction in with the "junk food fiction." 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I actually agree with the restriction idea, but with a few caveats...

 

I read non-stp as a child, and still have a tendency to read MORE than I should (in the sense that I neglect other duties in favor of reading... lol)

 

Positives:  I can contribute to conversations on just about anything, because even if I don't know a TON, I've at least heard of or been exposed to a million different things through reading.  I have a great vocabulary.  I enjoy quiet solitude.  I'm never, ever bored. 

 

Cons:  I do get into a funk at the end of a book when I have to leave that particular story behind.  It's like losing friends, or ending a trip, or... finshing a good book.  :-)  As an introvert, I have to work to remind myself that real people are more important than fictional people, and to arrange my social priorities accordingly.  :-) 

 

During the summer, honestly, I would not limit books at all.  I would make sure some of her books are really GOOD ones though.  And while I don't think any child needs to be crafty or anything, she is old enough to start learning meal prep, chores, and any other life skills you think she should have. 

 

During the school year, yes, I would consider restriction, especially if she is reluctant to get outside in the fresh air and sunshine. 

 

Only restrict when you feel she is getting too out of balance for a healthy life.  She needs to balance pleasure, learning, social life, family life, physical health, and work. 

[Ellie]

 

 I want her to learn what she enjoys producing and become skilled at it.  How is that supposed to happen when she spends all her free time consuming other people's stories?  Also, big stretches of reading during the day seem to make her more sullen and unwilling to engage with other family members.

 

So a couple of months ago, I instituted fiction reading limits to one hour during the day and unlimited from bedtime to when she decides to turn the lights out.  I explained my reasoning to her, and although she wasn't thrilled, she's accepted the limits without much of a fight.  I did tell her that if she was more active with her reading....writing reviews, memorizing favorite passages, or keeping a reading journal, etc...that she could read more.  But she has been unwilling to do that so far.

 

 

Some more thoughts:

 

She's just a child. "Consuming other people's stories" expands her own frame of reference, gives her ideas she would never have imagined on her own, introduces new vocabulary and ways of expressing ideas, inspires her to want to learn more. Requiring her to write reviews, memorize favorite passages, keep a reading journal...do YOU do those things? on books that you enjoy yourself? Some people do, but most do not, and being *required* to do them...I don't blame her for being unwilling to do so. Now, if you wanted to assign, during the school year, some memory work or whatnot on specific books, I can see that, but not as a requirement in order to read in general.

 

Limiting her reading time during the day because of behavior issues is fine. We all have to learn to behave properly. :-)

 

[City Mouse]

It sounds a little bit like you are disappointed that you did not have the opportunity to develop your artistic talents as a kid so now you are wanting to force your kid to be artistic. Kind of like the parent who pushes a kid to a specific sport because they were not as successful in the sport as they would have liked to be.

 

Not everyone wants to be artistic. For one of my kids, making her spend several hours producing something art like would have been torture. (She does like to write stories now, but at 10 writing was still a physical chore) if you want to limit the reading on her own, I would broaden what you want her to do in the meantime.

 

What about allowing her to read aloud to her siblings, or volunteer reading to an elderly person in a nursing home or something like that? Physical activity like practicing a sport, riding a bike, walking the dog, or just playing outside? Science kits, wood working kits, or even a toolkit with tools, fasteners, and bits of wood?

[Hunter]

Many parents all over the world, restrict fiction reading to 3 hours or less a day. That is not unusual.

 

I overread fiction as a child and young adult, because my life was out of balance. Merely restricting my reading would not have corrected that imbalance and would have frustrated me. Because all I had was the reading, the reading did give me a lot I otherwise would not have had, but other activities would have been better if they had been available.

 

Have you ever looked at Waldorf? Waldorf stresses balance for a child.

 

There are so many good non-fiction books, that a child wil profit from being introduced to.

 

As for production, Americans are WAY too focused on production. Sigh! (the sigh is directed at America not you!) We don't exist TO produce. Our value is not based on what we produce. We can debate on why we do exist, and maybe we are partially here to create, but not TO produce. And human creation is mostly a regurgitation of what we have seen, so we need to watch before can create much. Passive is okay, and more necessary for some people than others. Some people need to spend long periods in passive absorbtion before then entering a period of frenzied creation. Others never produce and create all that much, and that's okay.

 

I'm not sure what I would do with a child who CONSISTENTLY read more than 3 hours a day of fiction. I wouldn't JUST institute a ban. I would try to engage in other activities WITH them and MODEL a more balanced lifestyle, I guess. I'd keep them closer to me, or to someone else that could model balance, even if that meant requiring them to do chores with me. I'd spend some time at the library choosing some great nonfiction for and with them. I'd cook and knit with them. Maybe I'd plant a garden, and take them for walks. I'd search the community for events and activities.

 

Good luck. This is a great question! You sound like a great mom. :grouphug:

[melmichigan]

I was the kid who was grounded from my room because I was perfectly content to be reading.  I am an avid reader, my children are avid readers.  I read to them every day and they see me reading almost every day.  I wouldn't dream of cutting off their reading time provided they are interacting with the family (sometimes like yesterday afternoon, they just all pile into the living room with a book and throw questions at each other).  They also need to be exercising and spending time outdoors, and doing whatever school work and house work that you require. If they are doing all those things I don't care that they are reading, fiction or not.  I do monitor what they are reading, and I will make suggestions, download things for them, and help them purchase books online that I think are quality literature.

 

Honestly, I would have resented any parent who told me I had to produce instead of read, the thought makes me ill.  That is just not me. 

 

If my kids could read from bedtime until they turned out the light, and that was the majority of the time they could read fiction, they would be chronically sleep deprived.

[TechWife]

Why are you expecting your child to produce something? How about letting her read so that she can learn to think? There ism a lot to be learned about the world that can be learned through both fiction and nonfiction.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Why can the child not just read to enjoy and not produce anything?

Does she get anything productive done for school?

Do you assign her reading for school?

Does she get any outdoor time?

Chores done?

If it is summer break then let her have the break and read.

 

I think micromanaging your childs reading time on her free time is going to backfire tremendously.

 

Honestly this kind of micromanaging a childs free time raises red flags to me.

[Hunter]

Three hours a day is more than 1/5 of a child's waking hours. Why is everyone getting so upset about a parent wanting to BALANCE fiction reading to less than a 1/4 of a child's day? No one is saying that parents that choose to allow their children to spend more than 1/2 their days immobile and immersed in fantasy are wrong. Can't we also validate the parent that wants to keep it to less than 1/4 of the day? Balance IS important!

 

People can choose to jump on keywords used in the OP. Instead can't we stick to the main gist of what the OP asked. As moms/teachers we see imbalance, kind of flounder a bit even figuring out what we are even seeing, and how to label it. We quickly start a thread, where we are "writing to learn" often applying words to a feeling for the first time as we write the post. We often are rushed as we write.

 

This should be a safe place to explore ideas and "write to learn". When readers think a mom has gone a bit too far, GENTLE and encouraging suggestions and "I" stories can HELP more than harsher posts. This is a BIG world that we are all posting from, and each country and subculture of the USA has different customs and ways of doing things. What is standard in our corner of the world is not reflective of other parts of the world. It's discriminatory to think OUR way of doing something is the "right" way and that all other ways are wrong.

 

Limiting fiction is NOT an uncommon idea! It's just NOT. Lots of good parents I know personally have done it. I have watched these children grow up to be wonderful adults, who thank their parents for limiting the fiction, or at least joke about it with no anger.

 

Please can we pull back a bit? And I don't know. Just make the OP feel a little more welcome and accepted? Can we listen and offer to work through this with her, as she tries to puzzle out what is best for HER family.

 

This topic first started being asked in the 1800s when children's fiction suddenly glutted the market. Many parents worried about the effects they were seeing among the children, similar to how most parents now worry about too much TV. This is really a good question that is now almost 200 years old. How much fiction is too much?

 

Most people think milk is good for kids. Some parents limit it or exclude it all together. Depending on the context of family's environment, different amounts of milk are called for. There is no "right" amount of milk.

 

Milk, fiction--they are interesting topics, that can be fun and informative to discuss if we can just remember we are talking to PEOPLE with feelings, and that there is no "right" answer for ALL people.

 

Jess :grouphug:

[misty.warden]

OP asked "what do you think?" That is asking for our opinion. Telling us to edit what we think when it is specifically solicited is ridiculous, she's free to ignore us all and do whatever as the parent in the situation, but I don't believe in sugarcoating. Just because something isn't uncommon doesn't make it the best option nor does it make questioning its implementation wrong or harsh. I've seen multiple "I" stories and shared one myself, as well as people asking for the motivation behind limiting a child's free reading and requiring her to figure out what she wants to produce at such a young age, I believe that's called dialogue and talking it through with her.

[Ellie]

Please can we pull back a bit? And I don't know. Just make the OP feel a little more welcome and accepted? Can we listen and offer to work through this with her, as she tries to puzzle out what is best for HER family.

 

 

Hunter, she asked for our opinions. We are giving them to her. What she does with those opinions is up to her. No one has been snarky or anything. :-)

[Hunter]

I'm not talking about all the posts, and not yours Ellie. I think we can do better. I do. A little here and little there could be more helpful. I just don't think this thread as a whole has been as helpful as it could be. There are a variety of ways to...just...do it a little differently.

 

So often people here are so careful with me. I notice the times people use such tact and careful word choice when they want to help me when I'm swinging too far about something. And there were a few times when no tact was used, and even a couple times where :lol: well, it wasn't pretty. I learned nothing from those threads. I hope others got something out of posting, because I didn't.

 

When we just find a topic interesting or just want to give our opinion, and not help, we can state things in such a way as to let an OP know we are not attacking them or invalidating them, but just focusing on what we ourselves want to say.

 

I just think as a whole, we can do better here. I do. You are a great bunch of ladies, and I see so much good come from you all most of the time. As a whole, when I read this thread, I just don't think it reflects us and how we usually are. There are times I read threads and just tear up when I read them, because so many people did such a good job posting. Other times I am just fascinated by what people are saying.

 

I think this is a special place with special people in it. This thread doesn't feel special. Of course every thread is not going to be all of us at our best. It's not that this thread is so bad, because it's not. It's more what it is missing I guess. Something is missing. Something I am used to seeing from you all.

[JessMcG]

Ha, ha Hunter!  Thank you for sticking up for me!  I knew when I posted this question originally that I was jumping into the fire.  But I also expected to be able to find some diamonds in the rough.  Which I did.  Yours among them.  I'm glad you brought up the historical aspect of this question.  I was hoping someone would provide detail on that.  

[HS Mom in NC]

Why read voraciously?

 

 Just because it's not a true story in all aspects (fiction) doesn't mean it doesn't have some truth in it. It can teach us truths about human nature.  It can teach us truths like which values are important and which are not. It can be a true depiction of a time, a place, or a mindset. I don't know if you're a Christian, but if you are, remember that Jesus taught truth through parables. Too many Christians forget that and get upset or undervalue stories that aren't true (in the non-fiction sense.)

 

Voracious reading of quality books is an excellent substitute for travel when travel isn't an option and allows us to visit times and places long since gone. It's an opportunity to listen to some of the greatest ideas from the greatest minds, many of whom are long since dead.  The best writers of all time get to teach our kids how to express ideas with excellent grammar and vivid imagery book after book.  There are endless moral dilemmas and character traits to be learned from every character. First hand accounts of ideas and events that changed the world are right there for anyone to read. Reading different ideas from different times helps us realize that there are different views out there-sometimes dramatically different views.  C.S. Lewis had great insights about the importance of reading old books.

 

My household of voracious readers

 

We're all voracious readers here.  It's not unusual for my older kids (now 17 and 15) to read for 5-6 hours a day a few days a week books of their choosing in the summer (cabin fever season in the desert southwest.) During homeschooling it wasn't unusual for them to read books of their choosing 3+ hours a day several days a week.  That's in addition to the typical 2 hours a day reading aloud (about an hour from me and another hour from dad) 5-6 days a week. And not twaddle either.  This weekend I took my 15 year old to the bookstore so she could buy with her own money copies of Dante's Inferno, The Canterbury Tales, and Romeo and Juliet to read for pleasure-not school.

 

They still had to do school, chores and lessons in addition to church activities, playing with neighbor kids, going to church activities, doing family time activities, etc. The older two have also pursued art like complex mathematical origami projects that each made with hundreds of pieces of paper, designing and making quilts, silk screen printing and drawing, piano, guitar, and competitive recurve archery at the national level. I never had to limit their reading time to make room for those things. We did have to limit the number of times our oldest read Harry Potter when she was about 12.  After she'd been through the series three times in a row we told her to find something else to read.  She did.

 

Why read voraciously in childhood?

 

They are both about to start community college-the oldest for a semester until she turns 18 and can get doula certification and then start apprenticing with a homebirth midwife for her midwife's license.  The 15 year old will start because she's finished high school math and science and is interested in studying biomedical engineering or genetics.  The time they have to read voraciously quality fiction and non-fiction of their choosing is coming to a close.  College and birth attendant training are very time consuming and then career and/or marriage will probably follow, then childrearing, and so on.  When else will they have this opportunity to read read read?

 

Issues addressed in the original post

 

I usually tell people to avoid all or nothing, either or,  thinking. As I've pointed out in my own household, my kids have been able to have unlimited reading time AND find things that interest them and develop skills.

 

If your child has a negative attitude or negative behavior specifically because she's been reading too long, then that issue needs addressing. Be VERY careful that you have accurately diagnosed the long stretches of reading as the cause before you go limiting reading time. 

 

Your child doesn't have to just read fiction.  There are plenty of wonderfully interesting and engaging books that are not fiction. Consider steering her in one of those directions if you just don't approve of fiction for some reason.

 

Fiction is a HUGE category.  Maybe it's time she was introduced to a different genre of fiction if it truly is the type of books she's reading that making her sullen, IF the reading is causing of her sullen behavior.

 

Is she reading crap? There are quality books and crap.  Maybe she's reading things that aren't worth her time and energy.  Increase the quality and see if that helps you feel better about it.

 

Is she a sensitive soul reading melancholy stuff?  Is it all doom and gloom and depression?  If so she needs a better mix of books that are uplifting until she's more emotionally mature.  Some girls (especially the drama girl types or those who always see the negative) absorb the emotional experiences of the characters they're reading about and it affects their emotional and mental lives negatively.  She may need time to grow up more before she covers more depressing themes.

 

A 10 year old writing reviews brings up an interesting philosophical question. What 10 year old has read enough of any type of books to review one?  I don't mean an "I liked it" paper.  I mean a real review by someone with a good grasp of a genre and reviews how it is compared to the best in the genre.  I think your child is better off reading lots of books in a genre and over the course of years developing a taste for better books so that she KNOWS better ones from experience.

 

Journaling is another topic in itself.  I've been to lots of homeschool workshops and read writings on journaling.  Only about 50% of kids enjoy it all.  Both of my older two journal volumes and I never once required it.  Most children will read less and enjoy reading less if they have to dissect it and write about it.  Most like to have lively discussions about their favorite books and what they liked about them.

 

Are you a voracious reader of quality books?  Have you ever been? Sometimes trying to explain the benefits of voracious reading of quality to someone who doesn't read much or doesn't read much quality is like trying to describe all the options available at Itunes to someone who's never heard anything but local garage bands. I'm not trying to insult you.  I understand this may not apply at all to you, but it applies to a HUGE portion of the US population-even homeschoolers.

 

I've been homeschooling for 13 years now and I'm surprised by just how many homeschoolers don't read much high quality material  unless they're doing some form of Classical education (Trivium, Mentor, Living books and the like.)  Their kids only read for Phonics and English assignments along with their textbooks.   I don't know any parents who don't homeschool who read anything to their children once their kids are reading on their own. It's a huge cultural shift to visual media for most adults anymore. Most were not read to as children beyond the early elementary years and they don't read much now as adults.  They think, " I'm fine without it, my kids will be too."

 

This is a Classical Education board.  Be sure your expectations are realistic.  I'm genuinely surprised by any post that DOES think you should limit your child's reading time to an hour.  Are you not a Classical homeschooler?  You don't have to be to join us and ask questions and contribute, but remember that most are and they'll respond with a classical educator point of view.

[PeterPan]

Jess, at one point I did have to balance out my dd a bit, because she was VERY into comics, like to the point of EXCLUDING anything else.  Never junk comics, always your classics like Calving & Hobbes, etc.  But like you're saying, it was just letting her brain go into potato chip mode CONSTANTLY, which was out of balance.  

 

On the other hand, it shouldn't be so hard just to make the positive command (art for 1 hour, 3 days a week, science labs 2 days a week, whatever) and just let the rest pan out.  I couldn't fathom what you meant by producing, but you mean art and handicrafts and things?  So schedule it in!  If the dc doesn't do it on their own and you want it to happen, you're going to have to schedule it.  It's not like just TAKING AWAY one thing makes it happen.  As AZ pointed out, just because you take something away doesn't mean something good is automatically happening.  Good literature, good handicrafts.  Not to chastise, but the problem may be 80% you.  I don't put the onus on a 10 yo.  Maybe your kid has gotten older and is ready for more and needs YOU to step up to the plate and make more happen.  This is NOT some easy job where we just sit back and our amazing angels do it all to themselves.  We actually have to nurture and organize and, my favorite term, FACILITATE.  Hook her up with a grandma 2 days a week to work on handicrafts. Schedule in art or get her lessons.  That's YOUR job to connect her.  She's at a good age to learn to cook.  If she spends 2 afternoons a week cooking dinner and learning to make desserts, etc., all this is going to balance out for itself.

 

Honestly, we have a lot of go-bugs in our house.  I don't have to make the doing part happen.  But there are definitely hours enough in the day to DO stuff AND read.  My dd read 3-4 hours a day at that age AND did lots of stuff.  But she could totally drive herself because of who she is.  If your kid isn't doing, then step up to the plate and make it happen.  I have to step up and make other things happen that my dd isn't naturally so good at, and maybe they're things that your dd does naturally (like remembering to brush her teeth!).  Everybody has some weaknesses in their kids and things they do well and things they don't.  It's not like my kid does everything and somebody else's kid does nothing.  So it's ok to step up and get that balance.  You just don't have to take away to do it.  Just add the doing and the rest will work out.  

[bobbeym]

OP, I don't feel there's anything wrong with limiting your DD's reading time if it's interfering with school, family time, or chores, or if you're positive it's having a negative affect on her behavior. 

 

I would, however, recommend caution at forcing her into spending time on arts/crafts if she's not inclined to like that kind of stuff.  Maybe you could take her to a craft store and let her pick out something that appeals to her?  My DS15 can crochet and cross-stitch even though it drives DH nuts, and DD enjoys more basic things like latch hooks, plastic canvas crafts, pillow kits, etc.  Make either one of them spend time painting or drawing though and they'd rebel.  Heck, even DS19 would rebel against painting simply b/c he's a paper/ink artist.

 

DS15 can be a voracious reader when he gets engrossed in a new series.  I was concerned that he was spending to much time reading fantasy novels, and so I gave him "assignments" for different genres.  He could pick any book he wanted that was at/above his reading level as long as it fit into that genre and was mom-approved.  I still can't get him to pick up a classic mystery, but he did discover he likes other styles of fiction than just fantasy.

[Julie Smith]

I was thinking of your post, when I was mostly away from the boards this weekend. So I'm posting without reading any of the responses so far. Hopefully I'll be saying something new, or at least something interesting. 

 

I think instead of limiting reading it would be good to say, "This time is not for reading". It's sort of like any other enjoyable individual activity. If she is spending so much time reading then she isn't being open to other options. Perhaps if she is bored she might get into a game with siblings. Or be open to joining in a family board game, or develop an interest in an instrutment. Perhaps find a new enjoyment such as taking an evening walk with a parent and talking about life. 

 

It's about being open to possibilites. If a person is spending all free time doing a activity, be it watching tv, reading, exercising, ... then they don't really have free time. Time to think of something new, time to be a little bored. A person can get in a rut where they don't see all those options that are available since they never take the time to look around. Sure they are doing something they really enjoy but it's not a balanced life. 

 

If I was in your situation I would not limit to time since I would find that hard to monitor. I also would not insist on being productive. As long as all her have to activites are done. Instead I would say, "From 5 to 8 is no reading time." I would explain about finding balance in life and taking time to discover other acitvities or things that bring enjoyment. Time to experience life, make your own personal memories. 

 

Stew about options such as board games, books, ... Perhaps if at first make a big bowl of popcorn and sit around telling family stories of things you use to do in the past. ....

 

Once when I was little I was playing at the park and was dared to do walk across the wooden plank the tire swing was hung from. 

 

When I was young we use to go swimming on the lake first chance we could when the ice melted enough. I remember we use to still have these giant slabs of ice floating on the water and we would pull ourselves onto them and...

 

When I was a girl we had this really old car that us kids were allowed to drive around the empty field. Well one day I was allowed to drive and...

 

Once your Grampa and I played a game of connect 4 and I won. So we made it best out of 3, then best out of 5, ... Till I was declared the champion by very narrowly winning best out of 72. 

 

I personally remember hearing stories like that and thought that I needed to get out and do more and make some memories. Because reading stories gave me great memories and let me share in wonderful experiences - but I wanted some of my own. (Perhaps I had a few to many of my own, but that is another story)

 

[ElizaG]

Ha, ha Hunter!  Thank you for sticking up for me!  I knew when I posted this question originally that I was jumping into the fire.  But I also expected to be able to find some diamonds in the rough.  Which I did.  Yours among them.  I'm glad you brought up the historical aspect of this question.  I was hoping someone would provide detail on that.  

 

In case you're interested in primary sources, here are some suggestions by a popular Christian writer from that era, writing in "Mother's Magazine."  He makes you seem like a total softy in comparison.  ;)

 

Children's Reading, Novel Reading, and Children's Reading -- Again by Harvey Newcomb (1840)

 

 

This is a Classical Education board.  Be sure your expectations are realistic.  I'm genuinely surprised by any post that DOES think you should limit your child's reading time to an hour.  Are you not a Classical homeschooler?  You don't have to be to join us and ask questions and contribute, but remember that most are and they'll respond with a classical educator point of view.

I'm familiar with several definitions of "classical education," but I have yet to see one that includes "reading more than an hour of vernacular fiction per day" as a necessary characteristic.

 

In fact, given that the above Harvey Newcomb lived, went to school, and worked as a teacher when classical education was still the norm, one could even argue that he has more of a claim to a "classical educator point of view" than any of us do.  

 

(But I'm trying to avoid thinking about that, because I'm rather fond of our collection of children's stories, which includes many titles of which he disapproves vigorously.  ;)  )

[Pen]

 

My dd10 is a big fiction reader.  She'll pick reading over almost anything and could spend hours reading fiction everyday.  I was like this as a child and I have a few concerns.  I want her to learn what she enjoys producing and become skilled at it.  How is that supposed to happen when she spends all her free time consuming other people's stories?  Also, big stretches of reading during the day seem to make her more sullen and unwilling to engage with other family members.

 

So a couple of months ago, I instituted fiction reading limits to one hour during the day and unlimited from bedtime to when she decides to turn the lights out.  I explained my reasoning to her, and although she wasn't thrilled, she's accepted the limits without much of a fight.  I did tell her that if she was more active with her reading....writing reviews, memorizing favorite passages, or keeping a reading journal, etc...that she could read more.  But she has been unwilling to do that so far.

 

So what do you guys think?  Is there something I'm missing here by not letting dd read fiction nonstop?  Has anyone dealt with a child like this before?  And how did you handle it?

 

 

I would agree to limiting it, but my limits allow more time for it potentially than yours do.

 

My ds usually reads when he first gets up, and is allowed to do that from how ever early that is until whenever activities of the day start for us.  If it is not a family breakfast, he can read while he eats also.

 

He can also read fiction during breaks in the day's activities--there is no time limit to that, just that the other activities have to get done according to their own time requirements.  And, like your rule, can read before bedtime, though not past 9 or 9:30 PM since I consider sleep important.  Putting all that together, I would say he reads fiction around 3-4 hours per day.

 

Very, very rarely--say, for cannot go out in it weather, or, I can see he is truly immersed in a cannot put it down novel, and close to finishing, and it seems like other things (chores other schoolwork etc., and it would also include his mood and attitude--if sullenness were a problem I would pay attention to that too) are going okay, I will let him read almost all day.  

 

But generally, no, I do not allow fiction reading nonstop.  Chores are required, schoolwork, time to exercise the dog, play with friends, etc., and all of that takes a good bit of each day, along with meals, sleep etc.  

[Hunter]

In case you're interested in primary sources, here are some suggestions by a popular Christian writer from that era, writing in "Mother's Magazine." He makes you seem like a total softy in comparison. ;)

 

Children's Reading, Novel Reading, and Children's Reading -- Again by Harvey Newcomb (1840)

 

Thanks Eliza. How interesting!

 

Sometimes there is some interesting reading in the prefaces and introductions to simplified versions of the Great Books. The simplified Great Books were written during the beginning of this time of transition when children's books were first being written.

 

I also find part 2 of Climbing Parnassus interesting reading. Back when I was doing radical LCC (the method not the book), I was very influenced by the reading lists in CP to determine what was traditionally considered to be classical reading for a child. At the time, "classical" meant Greek and Latin to me. I also was influenced by the college reading lists for a degree in classics.

 

I wish I could go back and give my old self a smack for being so rigid about fiction, during school time (I did not limit fiction reading after school) but...there were a lot of extenuating circumstances that led to that rigidness, and I was doing the best I could at the time, and that is that.

 

I find the history of children's literature fascinating. It has changed so much in the past 200 years, and most of us here consider 200 years to be a very short period of time. 200 years ago many children only had Aesop, Pilgrim's Progress, and the Bible to read. Not because there were not many books in the house, becasue there were. They just were not allowed to read them. Often an older brother would retell some Shakespeare and other books to the younger children, skipping the parts the parents didn't find appropraite for them.

[City Mouse]

It is not the limiting of reading time or limiting the type of reading material that is bothering me. What bothers me in the original post is the instance that the kid is required to "produce" an art product instead of reading. I feel that is too narrow of an exchange.

[JessMcG]

Thank you again, ladies, for helping to think this through.

 

It seems many of you are bothered about my dd being required to produce something.  I must not have made myself clear.  I am in no way forcing her to write reviews or journal, heck, I haven't even made her do a book report yet.  Those were just suggestions to her, to allow her to extend her fiction reading time beyond the 3-4 hours a day of free reading that she already schedules in.  As for Project Time, she is allowed to pick ANYTHING to work on, it doesn't have to be artsy.  But she has since discovered that she likes to draw and paint.  I might admire her work, which can be quite creative, but I don't demand a certain amount of finished product. 

 

Thank you ElizaGrace for the links.  I will check those out.

 

As for voracious, unlimited fiction reading, one of my hesitations is that it leaves little time to let what is being read sink in.  Like I said, I was a voracious fiction reader as a child and remained a fly-by, "surface" reader into my 30s.  Well, I did think about things more as I grew up, but I was always on the hunt for the next story.  While reading a book, I would think, "Man!  This is great!  There is SO much to this story, I need to read it again."  But at the end of each book, there was always another one calling my attention.   So I am considering/on the hunt for ways to help dd learn to read a little deeper.  But, as has been pointed out to me, she is only 10.  You all have helped me to remember that (even though she's MY oldest) 10 is still very young.

 

ps- Letting her turn her own lights out has been an experiment.  I went into it knowing that it could become an issue.  So far, so good.  We may have to reconsider in the fall.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Thank you again, ladies, for helping to think this through.

 

It seems many of you are bothered about my dd being required to produce something.  I must not have made myself clear.  I am in no way forcing her to write reviews or journal, heck, I haven't even made her do a book report yet.  Those were just suggestions to her.  As for our Project Time, she is allowed to pick ANYTHING to work on, it doesn't have to be artsy.  But she has since discovered that she likes to draw and paint.  I might admire her work, which can be quite creative, but I don't demand a certain amount of finished product. 

 

Thank you ElizaGrace for the links.  I will check those out.

 

As for voracious, unlimited fiction reading, one of my hesitations is that it leaves little time to let what is being read sink in.  Like I said, I was a voracious fiction reader as a child and remained a fly-by, "surface" reader into my 30s.  Well, I did think about things more as I grew up, but I was always on the hunt for the next story.  While reading a book, I would think, "Man!  This is great!  There is SO much to this story, I need to read it again."  But at the end of each book, there was always another one calling my attention.   So I am considering/on the hunt for ways to help dd learn to read a little deeper.  But, as has been pointed out to me, she is only 10.  You all have helped me to remember that (even though she's MY oldest) 10 is still very young.

I totally get your concern about the shallow reading, but here is what I'm seeing with my dd10: she reads a *ton* of books, very quickly. But she is starting to voluntarily re-read. This summer she re-read at least 10 books, probably closer to 20, that she has read over the past year (she easily clocks 100+ books per year). And I think it's great. Just in casual conversation with her, I can see she's revisiting things that have been on her mind, and that she's getting more out of the books the second (or third) time around.

 

I did this same thing as a kid - I read hundreds and hundreds of books each year, but I also did a lot of re-reading. A lot. I got really familiar with some books, so familiar that I can remember them scene-for-scene 30 years later.

 

I think - and I'm being really gentle and supportive here! LOL - emoticons aren't working for me - that it's also the case that it can be hard to realize, with your oldest at 10, that you are entering a time when you'll have less and less control over what/how they read. I don't mean that suddenly anything goes and you shouldn't censor things that are inappropriate, at all, but the truth is that she will be making more and more choices on her own over the next few years, and the more that she feels you behind her being supportive, the more she'll feel like she can come to you and discuss things in the books she's reading . . . or whatever else is on her mind. And that's precious, KWIM?

[melmichigan]

Thank you again, ladies, for helping to think this through.

 

It seems many of you are bothered about my dd being required to produce something.  I must not have made myself clear.  I am in no way forcing her to write reviews or journal, heck, I haven't even made her do a book report yet.  Those were just suggestions to her, to allow her to extend her fiction reading time beyond the 3-4 hours a day of free reading that she already schedules in.  As for Project Time, she is allowed to pick ANYTHING to work on, it doesn't have to be artsy.  But she has since discovered that she likes to draw and paint.  I might admire her work, which can be quite creative, but I don't demand a certain amount of finished product. 

 

Thank you ElizaGrace for the links.  I will check those out.

 

As for voracious, unlimited fiction reading, one of my hesitations is that it leaves little time to let what is being read sink in.  Like I said, I was a voracious fiction reader as a child and remained a fly-by, "surface" reader into my 30s.  Well, I did think about things more as I grew up, but I was always on the hunt for the next story.  While reading a book, I would think, "Man!  This is great!  There is SO much to this story, I need to read it again."  But at the end of each book, there was always another one calling my attention.   So I am considering/on the hunt for ways to help dd learn to read a little deeper.  But, as has been pointed out to me, she is only 10.  You all have helped me to remember that (even though she's MY oldest) 10 is still very young.

 

ps- Letting her turn her own lights out has been an experiment.  I went into it knowing that it could become an issue.  So far, so good.  We may have to reconsider in the fall.

 

I am really trying to help, and it's a hard topic for me to understand so I apologize if my comments weren't taken that way.  I was trying to be honest.

 

In regards to finding a way for her to read deeper, do you do mother/daughter reads?  Pick a book, read it together, sometimes aloud to each other, and discuss as you go.  You might also want to check your local library, some offer mother/daughter reading groups that meet on a monthly or bi-monthly basis.  

 

A little bit of light that might help.  My oldest DD discovered fiction at about 9yo, the first year we did the old Core 6 with Sonlight, which is tons of historical fiction.  She read for hours on end for about two years (yes with the balance of the things we already listed above), and then she started writing fiction on her own (this is a DD with dysgraphia no less).  She can now write amazing narratives and descriptions, pulling from what she has read.  She is now back to reading a pretty good balance of materials, fiction and non-fiction, but her speed and depth of understanding have picked up.  She now enjoys going back and rereading things that she read in those first few years.  Those things you mentioned have come, with time.

 

I worry that limiting things to much at this age of discovery could impact your daughter in the long run.  Oh, and we still have to force DD to turn out the light at night, and she's 13yo. ;) She would literally stay up all night at times if we let her.

[Sobeknofret]

I was an introvert who preferred to be reading above all other things. If someone had taken away my fiction books, I would have withered. I loved non-fiction too, but fiction became the jumping off point for many of my own stories and creative play.