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Dd pg update. I desperately need opinions/advice and prayers. Update post #37

StaceyinLA

By StaceyinLA,
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StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

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Dd went back in for an ultrasound today. We have been seeing a yolk sac for several weeks and a fetal pole. 13 days ago the tech said she THOUGHT she saw a flickering heartbeat, but when she did the vag u/s, it was even less visible than on the abdominal.

Today they saw nothing definitive; still seeing a sac and what they think is a fetal pole, but not seeing heart activity.

They are telling her the pregnancy isn't viable. I'm not trying to be in denial, but I don't want to jump the gun. Dd isn't having any signs of miscarriage, and she is still having symptoms of pregnancy.

They didn't offer to do bloodwork or anything; just basically told her she could have a D&C, take meds to expel the embryo, or let nature take its course.

We don't really know for sure how far along she could be. She got a positive test on June 3, so she should probably be AT LEAST 7 weeks.

Could this little embryo be hiding? Is there any chance things are still okay? Or should we just accept it as a loss?

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Um_2_4

Um_2_4

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I totally understand. U/S are not 100%.

Can she ask for her HCG levels to be checked over several days? If they are dropping, then she may be headed for a m/c. If they are stable or rising, then it may be viable.

I'm kind of surprised any dr would recommend a d/c on just an u/s with an unsure date?

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gracesteacher

gracesteacher

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Something very similar happened to a gf of mine.  She waited and let nature take its course and well now she has a healthy little girl.  She did make a dramatic early entry though.

My personal experience I waited till I had signs of miscarriage till I did anything.

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StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

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To be fair, she has had a couple of other ultrasounds. I guess they feel like they aren't seeing the progress they should. We are definitely planning to ask for bloodwork.

 

She is devastated. If she loses this baby, it will be her 3rd loss.

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La Texican

La Texican

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I had a live birth from a u/s diagnosed blighted ovum. The bloodwork did catch that the pregnancy was still good.

I feel deeply for your daughter because the time spent waiting uncertainly, sadly, and with the hormones is heartbreaking. Also, I got dizzy spells while waiting. That was scary, feeling unhealthy and thinking I was waiting for a miscarraige to finalize.

My sister did have several miscarraiges, and had given up hope, but now has a beautiful (spoiled) daughter. Okay, all our kids are spoiled. A d&c does not mean you can't try again. She mc'd at the same spot every time. So sad, but the problem finally resolved itself.

Sorry, I don't know what to say. I just wanted to say something since I read such a personal thread.

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swellmomma

swellmomma

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I would never consent to a D&C or medical intervention for the m/c until further bloodwork had confirmed it.  I am surprised they would suggest such a thing.  I think further blood work like a 48 hour beta is warranted before agreeing to anything more.  After that a decision can be made to wait and see or intervene in another way to complete what is happening if it truly is an unviable pregnancy.

As for the number of losses.  I have had 6 losses.  After the 5th I had genetic testing to see why (also because I have preemies generally).  There was nothing in my testing that showed why, for some reason my body just doesn't like being pregnant.  If I can make it to week 8 I am generally good, though with threatened m/c and troubles along the way until my water breaks at 35 weeks.

In between dd13 and ds9 I had 4 losses in quick succession.  Then had ds, I had another loss when trying for dd5, then had her.

The losses are devestating, and the dr's won't always know why they are happening, but that doesn't mean the dream of motherhood needs to be gone.  Even if this is another loss eventually your dd will have the baby she dreams of one way or another.

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Starr

Starr

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Dd went back in for an ultrasound today. We have been seeing a yolk sac for several weeks and a fetal pole. 13 days ago the tech said she THOUGHT she saw a flickering heartbeat, but when she did the vag u/s, it was even less visible than on the abdominal.

 

Today they saw nothing definitive; still seeing a sac and what they think is a fetal pole, but not seeing heart activity.

 

They are telling her the pregnancy isn't viable. I'm not trying to be in denial, but I don't want to jump the gun. Dd isn't having any signs of miscarriage, and she is still having symptoms of pregnancy.

 

They didn't offer to do bloodwork or anything; just basically told her she could have a D&C, take meds to expel the embryo, or let nature take its course.

 

We don't really know for sure how far along she could be. She got a positive test on June 3, so she should probably be AT LEAST 7 weeks.

 

Could this little embryo be hiding? Is there any chance things are still okay? Or should we just accept it as a loss?

 

This can last for some time before a miscarriage. :(  Many miscarriages in the olden days were thought to be further along than they probably were for this reason. Get the blood tests to be sure of what's going on. Many prayers.

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dtsmamtj

dtsmamtj

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For me it was a bit different.  Ultrasound showed no heartbeat, only a sac.  We let the miscarriage happen naturally.  Went back in after the miscarriage for a follow-up and found out that I was still pregnant - my son is now almost 16 years old.  For me I was pregnant with twins.  I am so glad we didn't have a D&C done, but waited instead.

 

 

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Dahliarw

Dahliarw

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I would do bloodwork as well. Though it can be wrong too. Lab error showed low hcg levels with my 2nd pregnancy. He's going to be 6 at the end of this month! Fortunately for us, an u/s showed a heartbeat (after the bloodwork was done).

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zoobie

zoobie

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I would do bloodwork as well. A dear friend had a partial molar pregnancy and only found it because she insisted on bloodwork. Her OB blew off her concerns. Three losses in a row would also have me pushing for bloodwork and testing. Sometimes a simple progesterone supplement can keep a pregnancy viable.

 

I am sorry for her pain. :(

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MooCow

MooCow

Posted
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That sounds like what happened when I was pg w/my youngest. My OB was getting weary of me because I

refused a D&C for two weeks. At like my eighth ultrasound, the OB started waving the wand, stopped and exclaimed

"Oh my God! There's heartbeat!" I was like I told you-dumba**. ( I didn't really call him that, but

I so wanted too) I changed drs after that.

 

When in doubt, do nothing but wait.

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HS Mom in NC

HS Mom in NC

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D&C should be an absolute last resort and only done when there are clear symptoms of infection.  Women who have D&Cs as a group have more miscarriages in the future compared to women as a group who allow nature to take its course. I can't cite the source. There are also the risks related to the procedure itself that aren't worth taking unless she's showing signs of infection.

 

There are lots of factors that contribute to miscarriages.  Progesterone shots only help pregnancies with abnormally low progesterone levels.  Blood clotting disorders, blood type incompatibility between the parents, genetic issues, and a long list of other things can cause miscarriages.

 

Waiting is difficult but worth it.

 

I had 3 miscarriages and then one normal pregnancy and normal delivery at home with a midwife.  Then I had one complicated pregnancy and complicated delivery and a severe uterine infection from the c-section. Then I adopted.

 

Your poor daughter's been through so much.  I'm glad she has a supportive mom like you. 

 

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fairfarmhand

fairfarmhand

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No D and C unless she has a compelling reason. I had one when I began hemorrhaging uncontrollably. But many miscarriages happen naturally. If she ends up with a D and C, it will be ok. I went on to have 3 healthy normal pregnancies and no more miscarriages after my D and C.

 

So sorry for her. We will pray that it's just a well hidden little one.

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HS Mom in NC

HS Mom in NC

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Hemorrhaging is not automatically a reason to have a D&C-only if it continues for too long.   With my first miscarriage I did hemorrhage and had to go to the hospital (after two days of miscarrying on my own with the doctor from the hospital in phone contact) but it stopped on its own after I arrived and was monitored for a while.  I only needed an IV to get my blood pressure back up to normal, so I didn't need a blood transfusion.  One common complication from a D&C is uterine puncture that causes hemorrhaging.

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Danestress

Danestress

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Do they not just do routine hCG testing any more? 15 years ago that is how they confirmed that my pregnancy was progressing. It is strange to me to do multiple ultra sounds but not easy cheap blood testing, but it's been a long time since I had a baby. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

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Guest

Guest

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I would wait since they thought they saw something.  For me, it didn't turn out fine, but I've heard many stories where the baby was just hiding or not as far along as originally thought.

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LucyStoner

LucyStoner

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With my younger son, the 7 week u/s showed no heartbeat.  I waited and we obviously saw a heartbeat a couple weeks later.  He's 4 and 1/2.    

 

That said, most of the times I have been told there was no heartbeat at that point (I have had recurrent miscarriages) the news has not turned out that way. 

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happyhomemaker25

happyhomemaker25

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I don't know. I had two 6w miscarriages after I had my ectopic. Literally took the test and within a week I was losing the baby. I had my progesterone levels tested and with my next baby they started me on progesterone supplements and I just delivered him in May. Has she had any kind of testing to see why this is happening? I'll be praying that it's just too early. My OB would not do an u/s until 8w for me (even after the ectopic, my HCG levels were going up so he thought we'd be fine) He said that before 8-9w there was too much room for error. I was almost 9w when I had the u/s with Gideon.

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tabinfl

tabinfl

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My OB wouldn't even do an u/s until 8 weeks LMP, and even then only because of my history -- too much uncertainty esp. without knowing precise date of conception for it to be very useful.

 

Have they taken any measurements via u/s? Along with bloodwork, that could give some indication of fetal growth, even if the heartbeat isn't yet present.

 

If it were me at this early stage, especially without being sure of dates, I'd wait and see.

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hollyh

hollyh

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Definitely don't do d/c unless needed - meaning the body is not expelling everything on its own.  I would not do anything without blood counts and a later u/s confirming miscarriage.  Ask them to use the bigger/better machines that they do the 18 week u/s on.  Those are amazing.  I have pics of my 12week pregnancy where I can count fingers and the baby sucking its thumb.  She is still so early for them to be confident that she is miscarrying.

 

I have a friend who was encouraged to d/c for the same reasons- she didn't and her baby lived.  Another friend who had many u/s and there was no heart beat.... encouraged to d/c.  They did a stronger u/s machine and found the baby's heart beat.  She did go on to lose that baby, but she was confident at the time that the baby was alive and it was.  It wasn't growing at the rate it should have, but she was grateful to allow her body to take care of it itself instead of the d/c being the cause.

 

Best of luck and prayers sent up for you all.

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StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

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Thank you for the information and prayers. Dd's HCG was 35,383 yesterday afternoon. I know it is probably an ominous sign because it was 19,000 a few weeks ago. However, realizing that it possibly could've been twins and one was lost or reabsorbed, we certainly won't do anything but pray until after tomorrow's draw. If we aren't seeing dropping levels, I will definitely be pushing for more invasive scanning with better machines.

 

Thanks again for all the prayers!

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Mergath

Mergath

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Thank you for the information and prayers. Dd's HCG was 35,383 yesterday afternoon. I know it is probably an ominous sign because it was 19,000 a few weeks ago. However, realizing that it possibly could've been twins and one was lost or reabsorbed, we certainly won't do anything but pray until after tomorrow's draw. If we aren't seeing dropping levels, I will definitely be pushing for more invasive scanning with better machines.

 

Thanks again for all the prayers!

 

 

I'm confused about something- is this your baby, or your dd's?  I thought it was your grandchild, but the way you're describing things, it sounds like it might be yours...?

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StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

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It is my youngest dd that is pregnant. However, since she is looking to me for help, I will encourage her to seek further information before making a rash decision. Doctors don't always take young moms seriously, so I will do what it takes to be sure she gets what is needed to help her make a fully informed decision about what to do.

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Guest

Guest

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It is my youngest dd that is pregnant. However, since she is looking to me for help, I will encourage her to seek further information before making a rash decision. Doctors don't always take young moms seriously, so I will do what it takes to be sure she gets what is needed to help her make a fully informed decision about what to do.

 

Good for you.  Your dd is blessed to have such a caring mother.

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unsinkable

unsinkable

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I'm confused about something- is this your baby, or your dd's?  I thought it was your grandchild, but the way you're describing things, it sounds like it might be yours...?

 

It's pretty clear it's her DD's baby.

 

I'm not sure if you are reading too quickly or implying Stacey is somehow overinvolved or what?

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unsinkable

unsinkable

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Posted

 

It is my youngest dd that is pregnant. However, since she is looking to me for help, I will encourage her to seek further information before making a rash decision. Doctors don't always take young moms seriously, so I will do what it takes to be sure she gets what is needed to help her make a fully informed decision about what to do.

(((Stacey)))

 

I'm glad you are there for your DD.

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Hwin

Hwin

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It is my youngest dd that is pregnant. However, since she is looking to me for help, I will encourage her to seek further information before making a rash decision. Doctors don't always take young moms seriously, so I will do what it takes to be sure she gets what is needed to help her make a fully informed decision about what to do.

 

My mom was my rock when I lost a baby and I was 30 yrs old. 

 

I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. The not knowing is nervewracking :(

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Kathryn

Kathryn

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It is my youngest dd that is pregnant. However, since she is looking to me for help, I will encourage her to seek further information before making a rash decision. Doctors don't always take young moms seriously, so I will do what it takes to be sure she gets what is needed to help her make a fully informed decision about what to do.

So this is your 17yo DD on her third pregnancy? I hate to say it, but I have a feeling that that may be affecting the advice she's getting. She is lucky she has you to advocate for her.

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