What age for a child to fly alone?

[JumpyTheFrog]

I was talking with a friend about the wedding her daughter is going to be in. I asked if she (the daughter) will be flying and she said no, the (neurotypical) girl is too young to fly alone to another state. Her dad will be driving her instead.

 

What age do you think most kids are old enough to fly alone?

[Farrar]

Maybe 10? I think many kids would be fine sooner. It's gotten more difficult with the various regulations, I think, but we did see a 6 yo flying (between continents no less!) alone last year, so I know it's possible.

[Chrysalis Academy]

I started flying alone at age 11. My dd10 could do it now, provided there was someone to meet her on the other side. We'd get her to the airport, obviously.

[MrsH]

I think that it does depend though. My eldest flew alone last year when she was only 9, but she was flying to see her grandparents with whom she's spent a week or more every year of her life. If she was going to a wedding where maybe she didn't have someone like that to support her and guide her through the whole process, I think I'd rather drive her as well, if possible. Perhaps the mom's concern wasn't about the actual flying, but more about her child being away without a suitable person to care for her?

[catz]

Well, some friends of ours let their kids fly to their grandparents at age 8. They were together, it was a direct flight of less than 2 hours. So I think it depends. Flying 2 hours is a lot different than transferring planes and/or spending many hours on a flight. I think it depends a bunch on the kid and the parents in charge too.

 

Why is a child going to a wedding without her parents anyway? Or is this really a young adult?

[ccolopy]

I agree with MrsH that it might be the whole trip, rather than the flight that is too much for the daughter.

 

I would send either of my kids, at 9 and 12, as long as a friend or relative was able to pick them up at the airport and keep an eye on them for the weekend. If they were basically on their own for the weekend, I'd wait until 15/16, or however old they have to be to stay in a hotel alone.

[jennynd]

Wow.. I guess I am over protective. I don't let my 9yo outside playing in the yard by himself.

 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Why is a child going to a wedding without her parents anyway? Or is this really a young adult?

 

She's 19. I didn't want to state that in the first post because I wanted to see what people voted first. I asked why her mom why she couldn't fly and have someone meet her at the airport. The mom responded that the daughter is naive about the ways of the world. In my head, my answer was, "Well, that's because you have sheltered them way too much."

 

Instead, I just pointed out that the young woman's sister got married at 19. She tried to attribute it to differences in personality, but DH and I don't buy it. We see no indication that the daughter is anything but normal. The mom, however, seems like she might have anxiety issues. I'm concerned that she is teaching her kids that "the world" (meaning anything outside their religious bubble) is a big, scary place they should try to avoid.

 

ETA: I know there could be a real issue that we don't know about, but I think it's more likely that this not being "old enough" is all the result of heavy sheltering.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Wow. That's kinda sad. I had schlepped through Europe on my own well before I was that girl's age. While I'm not eager to send my dd10 on her own to Europe in 5 years now, I'm hoping that by the time she's 15 or 16 or whenever she feels ready, that I'll be brave enough and unselfish enough to let her enjoy the amazing opportunities I had.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Wow.. I guess I am over protective. I don't let my 9yo outside playing in the yard by himself.

 

Respectfully. . . why not?

[jennynd]

 

 

Respectfully. . . why not?

 

Because I am paranoid... :)

I know I should. We live in a very safe neighborhood.

[Farrar]

19?!? That is just plain sad.

[I.Dup.]

I didn't vote because I imagine this would really vary based on the child and the parents and the situation. I was flying alone by age 6 or so, and I personally think that is way too young. My oldest is 11 and I'm not comfortable with any of them flying alone.

 

I don't think being overprotective is the worst thing in the world. Some parents can be way too overprotective, but there are worse things to be. We all have faults in our parenting. That being said, by the time I was 19 I had been out of the house for many years already, was married, and had my first child.

[weederberries]

Wow. We have flown several times with our children in recent years (9, 8 and 6). After seeing the way they handle it, I would be willing to allow them to fly (up to 4 hour flight) alone if they would be directly in the care of someone they trust on the other end (grandparent, my brother, etc.). I wouldn't hesitate if the three went together. I'd allow my 9 and 8 year olds to travel independently. My 6 year old is not ready all by himself.

 

I know a family who has sheltered their daughter. We hired her as a nanny to go with us to Europe when she was 19. We assured her parents that we would care for her as though she were our own child. She was rather terrified the whole time, but was a great nanny. She refused our offers for a day off so she could explore Berlin on her own. She preferred to sight see with us from behind the stroller. A year later, she returned to Germany for the summer to nanny for our German friends. Again, she preferred to stay with them at all times, though she made the flight by herself. She's now 25 and still lives at home. She's in school and has a seemingly normal life, but is quite afraid to step out independently and is waiting to move out until she marries.

 

That being said, I hope my daughter and I get along well enough that she feels comfortable living with us for practical purposes before she marries, but is not afraid of venturing out on her own.

[weederberries]

Oh, I should mention that I was 13 when I took my first flight and I took it alone. I was not "tagged" as an unaccompanied minor and didn't have an escort. I was quite nervous, being the first time in an airplane. This was before cell phones and I was worried that my mom wouldn't pick me up on the other end. This was also back when you could meet arrivals at the gate. I didn't see her right away and I started crying. She was there in the crowd, but I just didn't see her. It was too much for me then.

 

In this day and age...a 19 year old with a cell phone and a debit card... See ya! Have a good trip.

[regentrude]

19? That's not a child. That's an ADULT. How sad.

[Cricket]

We let our oldest fly alone to another state to visit grandparents and aunts and uncles. He was 12. We picked that age because that was the airline allowed him to fly without charging extra. It was a direct flight and he did just fine. As a teen I flew back and forth across the country all the time by myself. I don't get why it would be such a big deal at 19. It's one thing to be careful but you can't live in fear. Poor girl!

[I.Dup.]

I know a family who has sheltered their daughter. We hired her as a nanny to go with us to Europe when she was 19. We assured her parents that we would care for her as though she were our own child. She was rather terrified the whole time, but was a great nanny. She refused our offers for a day off so she could explore Berlin on her own. She preferred to sight see with us from behind the stroller. A year later, she returned to Germany for the summer to nanny for our German friends. Again, she preferred to stay with them at all times, though she made the flight by herself. She's now 25 and still lives at home. She's in school and has a seemingly normal life, but is quite afraid to step out independently and is waiting to move out until she marries.

 

That is sad. I think this has WAY more to do with the personality of the child than the way they are parented. We all know we can parent one way and our kids can turn out vastly different from what our goals were, or even from each other when they all lived under the same roof, did the same types of things, and were parented by the same parents! And we all know stories where kids totally rebel and leave the house ASAP if they are overprotected. It really just depends on the personality of the child.

 

I have 2 children who can't be kept down. I cannot imagine them being kept down under any kind of parenting experience they would endure. They are just THAT strong willed and independent. They would never, EVER react like the individual you posted about, and they have had nothing like international trips or extended periods of time away from us. But I know for a fact they'd be all for it. We know a family with 10 children who really have not taught their kids very well on the social side of things. They are awkward and pretty dependent for the most part. However, even several of their children have been much more independent and determined to figure things out and make their own way. And they really had all strikes against them.

[Job384]

I did it at five. I'd probably let mine do it at about eight.

[DianeW88]

At 19 she doesn't need her mother's permission to fly alone. If she wants to go, she should go.

 

Seriously, that is completely ridiculous. Being that overprotective is a huge disservice to children in the long run. When they finally do get out on their own, the choices they make reflect their naivety. You might as well just paint a huge target on their back. Because that's what they are to predatory people who will sniff them out in a New York minute. Sad.

 

I started flying on my own at age 12. I lived in Paris for six months when I was 15 turning 16 with two girlfriends of mine. We were enrolled in a study abroad program for the first three months, then just lived there for the rest of the time. My father had a business associate check on us, and he provided us with his driver if we needed a car (we rarely did...we traveled by train most of the time if we were going outside of Paris, and used the Metro in the city) He also arranged for us to dine at the same family restaurant every night. I'm so glad my parents allowed me that experience. It gave me tremendous self-confidence and independence that has helped me so much in life.

 

The level of overprotectiveness this girl is experiencing would have been suffocating for me. I feel so sorry for her.

[stripe]

A young child is not unsupervised on a plane trip, but this is a legal adult. I flew as an unaccompanied minor on a long international flight when I was 14, and I was totally fine, and I have other relatives who had long domestic flights at around 10, because they really needed to, and were fine. Certainly by 14, I think most kids would be fine. This is an era of cell phones, not like when I was a kid! Ha. Anyone who is unsure about their 19 yo flying solo needs to help the child get those skills to do so, not continue to live in fear, I think. This is a safe country and flying is safe, not like a train trip where lecherous men will be trying to harm you or kidnap you to their compartment or whatever.

[ZooRho]

Well it could be that the kid hates flying and would just be in a panic.

 

John Madden the sports guy hates flying and did other modes of transportation.

 

 

that said I can't say how young a child should be to fly. it really is up to each family to decide. AND there are rules by the airlines too.

[ZooRho]

Whoops

[foxbridgeacademy]

I flew alone for the first time when I was 4. It was a non-stop, I had my own stewardess, and sat next to a very sweet elderly man who didn't mind that I was a chatterbox. This was the '70's and my mother had no choice (illness). She put me in my seat and reminded me to be good. My grandmother was waiting at the gate. This is not the 70's but I think I would put my 11 year old on a non-stop flight if I had assurances of his care and supervision. I trust him completely but he is only 11. I would not put his 9 yr old sister on a flight alone. I also trust her, but she's more likely to accidentally get in trouble (small for her age).

[Giraffe]

:svengo:

 

You have GOT to be kidding me. 19?!

[Dahliarw]

I flew alone (with no supervision from the airline) at 13 to go visit a friend. I was perfectly fine and knew basic safety rules. By 19, yeah, definitely old enough to fly alone. I probably would let my 8yo if there was a reason (and at that age I would pay for him to be handled as an unaccompanied minor by the airline). By the teen years, not a problem.

 

(oh, and my 8yo, 5yo, and 3yo are allowed to play outside without me. I do have the windows open so I can hear them, and I only let the younger 2 out if the oldest is out as well)

[Jenn121]

My parents divorced when I was 4. My father was in England with the USAF and we moved to Oklahoma. Soooooo.......... I started flying alone young. ;)

 

It really depends on the child so I did not vote.

 

As far as the 19 year old is concerned. I feel bad for her because of all the adventures that she will miss! I think that flying young contributed to my ability to not be afraid to be out in the world.

 

We live north of San Francisco and I had family and friends that were horrified that would even consider driving from here to Las Vegas with my toddler and then my two children later on without, GASP, my husband. LOL

 

It never occurred to me that anything but cost would prevent me from going. :)

[kiwik]

I first flew alone to see my mother at about 7. I am in NZ so we don't really have long flights but it was between the North and South Islands. You are probably less likely to get in trouble as an unaccompanied minor than a 19 year old.

[AdventureMoms]

DW started flying at 10 accompanied by her 5yo sister. So she was babysitting too. She feels that was reasonable for her. She had a very independent and mature personality.

 

I'm sure it varies, but I don't consider 19 to be even a question unless the person has a medical issue of some sort. A 19yo is not a child, and should be able to travel alone on any mode of transport.

 

I also let my 4.5 and two 2yos play in the (fenced and locked) yard alone. The 4yo (nearly 5) is allowed in non fenced yards, such as my mom's, as well.

[8filltheheart]

Just as a PSA since we just went through this last week----Delta requires all children under 15 to be classified as unaccompanied minors and require you to $$ the fee. They also restrict the departure flights to not being the last one scheduled for the day so there is the ability to bump the minor to a later flight. Fwiw, I am perfectly comfortable w/ the policy. Last yr our 16 yos was stranded in the Chicago Midway airport overnight with 1000s of other passengers. I would have been panicking if it had been one of his little sisters by themselves w/o someone responsible for their safety.......a young child falling asleep in an airport......not my idea of safe.

 

As far as the OP and 19........that is just plain nuts. She is an adult.

[boscopup]

Wow. My first ever flight was on my 19th birthday, alone, flying to Canada from the US. It really wasn't a big deal.

[SailorMom]

Well - unaccompanied and without the help of airline personnel with a layover and flight change??? That's very different than having a young kid put on a plane, and then meet someone at the other side of security at the destination.

 

Gate changes, large airports to navigate..... What age are kids allowed by airlines to do that?

 

Our DS just did a flight to Utah with a layover in Dallas (where the gate and terminal did change on him) in March. He did fine, and I think he would have been fine at least a year ago as well.... But I'd hate to send a younger kid out and have them have to deal with, say, a flight getting canceled at the last minute or arriving too late to make a connecting flight. A 15 yo can handle it fine.... I'm not sure about canceled or missed connecting flights with someone younger. Talk about stressful!

 

19.... uh.... I was married already. My DH entered the military at 18. We can all vote at 18.

[busymotherof4]

We sent our oldest on a plane when she was 6 or 7. We drove her to Chicago and were able to walk her to the gate. The flight attendant walked her to her seat. It was a short flight to Mpls and her grandparents were waiting at the other gate. She was well taken care of. Back then it was free to check luggage and they didn't charge extra for her.

Now days I wouldn't do that until they were teenagers and then it would depend on the flight. At 19 it should be no big deal.

 

[momma2three]

FWIW, when you send a young child on a plane alone it's not like they're really alone. Most flights have a whole row reserved for unaccompanied minors, so all the kids are traveling together. If possible, they'll also put someone who works for the airline in that row: it happens fairly often that there's an off duty attendant or pilot who is traveling for work, so they assign that staff member to sit with the kids. The parents get special passes to walk the child to the gate, and must sit at the gate until the flight takes off. Not just until the child boards, but until the flight is actually in the air. There has to be a named, photo ID'd person picking up the child at the other end, and they also get a special pass to meet the child right at the gate when the plane lands. If it's a direct flight, the child spends no time in an airport without the family members dropping them off or picking them up. If there's a connection, there's an airline staff member who is responsible for bringing them to their connecting flight.

 

It's not something I'd particularly choose to do for fun, but there are many many kids who fly as unaccompanied minors every day. They're well taken care of, and every precaution is taken that nothing goes wrong. DH's parents divorced when he was young, and lived in different countries, and he says flying alone was the best, because there would always be a few other kids to sit and hang out with, and the airline plies you with chocolate and treats. I know that's a long time ago, and air travel hasn't exactly gotten more friendly, but I've heard from families whose children do fly unaccompanied now that it's pretty much the same. It's really not just dropping your 6 year old off at the curbside check in and hoping for the best. The only time the kids are actually "unaccompanied" is when they're sitting on the plane, and the attendants are trained to make the flight as safe and pleasant for them as possible.

 

As for a neurotypical 19 year old who can't handle an airport, I think that's kind of sad. Yes, airports are busy and loud places, but they're also kinda laid out and signed and staffed for ease of use, including people who panic at airports, or don't speak the native language, or are exhausted after traveling for 18 hours and whatever else makes even the smartest and most capable people impaired in an airport situation. That's really absurdly helicoptery to think that your ADULT child can't handle something that's designed for pretty much anyone to use.

[Guest mamabearof7]

It really depends on the child and how far they're going. If there's a connecting flight I wouldn't do it at all unless they were 18.

[Laura Corin]

Calvin flew from London to Hong Kong (non-stop) when he was eleven. It was fine, but he felt air-sick (for the first time, despite being a seasoned traveller) and felt rather miserable on his own.

 

Laura

[Laura Corin]

I was talking with a friend about the wedding her daughter is going to be in. I asked if she (the daughter) will be flying and she said no, the (neurotypical) girl is too young to fly alone to another state. Her dad will be driving her instead.

 

What age do you think most kids are old enough to fly alone?

 

 

At nineteen, I had backpacked around Europe with a friend and was about to live overseas as a teacher for a year, flying, training, busing and (horror, shock) living on my own.

 

Laura

[elegantlion]

19? Maybe there are extenuating circumstance, but sheesh would you tell people she was too young?

 

I get extremely motion sick and have to about knock myself out to fly well, but it's so fun. She's missing out.

 

Are the parents not used to flying? If not, maybe they believe the horrors they hear about flying.

[J-rap]

It certainly depends on the child and the need. I mean, if an 8 year-old child needs to fly across the country -- say in an emergency or to be reunited with grandparents or a parent, I'm sure there are regulations and services in place to make it safe.

 

My children all traveled alone at least once or twice starting at age 15. By 17 and 18, they were flying alone to other countries.

[Parrothead]

19? As in legally an adult who can tell her overprotective mother to shove it 19?

 

Sorry that family has issues.

[RanchGirl]

My personal preference is age 16 for domestic flights, age 18 for overseas. I flew across the country with connections and once took a bus across a province alone between ages 8-12. I was stuck overnight in O'Hare at age 12. Because I was too young for a hotel, they put me up in a back office on a cot and gave me $10.00 for the vending machines for my meals. I would not want to put my child through that. Direct flights have less risk, but I've been on supposed direct flights that were re-directed and landed elsewhere, one I think was Bozeman, MT. Too much can happen, and I don't trust the airline employees with my child. My Mom has never seemed particularly bothered by my O'Hare experience, but she doesn't trust airlines with her luggage. I find that a little humorous! :)

 

ETA: I think it is surprising that a 19 year old wouldn't be willing or able to fly alone, but without knowing more I can't come to any conclusions. Maybe she's nervous, maybe she's a little slow, maybe her parents are overprotective, or maybe dad wanted to take a road trip and have a few heart to heart chats.

[gingersmom]

My daughter is going to start flying on her own when she turns 17. She will be traveling through one big airport to another even bigger airport. She will have her cell phone so if she feels lost she can always call me.

 

I'm not so worried about the airport as I am about her flying through horrible turbulence and no one to turn to for support on the plane. I flew 2 weeks ago through some of the worst turbulence I have flown in about 20 years and I wanted my mother!

[Miss Mousie]

DS12 has only flown once (with DH and me), about 2 years ago. Now that he plans to attend a week-long summer camp halfway across the country, DH and I have decided to take our "together" vacation nearby so we can all fly together. If he goes again next year, I will probably be comfortable letting him fly alone, but I'm not sure how DH will feel.

 

 

ETA: I was amused that the poll went up to “20+†– I thought, 20?! That’s crazy! Then I saw why. Egads!

[Crimson Wife]

When I was 18, I spent a summer in France as an au pair. To get to my employer's home, I flew to Paris, took a train to Lyon, and then a local train to the closest stop to their village. After my stint was up, I spent a week in Paris and a week in London. All of this traveling was by myself and in the pre-cell phone era. I did take common-sense protections but felt safer in Europe than I did in Boston (the closest big city to my hometown).

[Tammi K]

My 15 year old just flew to San Antonio from Anchorage with her 14 year old friend. They had no trouble at all. That said, last year, my 18 year old got on a plane to fly to Oregon and had to be coached every step of the way. Different kids - but by 19, I would certainly hope they had the wherewithal to figure it out. It might not be stress-free. But, it should be doable.

[catz]

Umm ... I had been overseas a couple times plus to NYC without parents at 19. I totally do think personality can play into this, but as the parent of a 19 year old, I would have a sink or swim attitude. How much trouble can a young adult this get into through an airport? I was not the most independant of young adults, but not flying at this age + having dad drive her (why can't she drive herself? I'd also let a kid this age take a long road trip alone) sounds off to me unless this young adult has some issues.

 

Curious if this is their youngest child?

[Guest Bubblebee34]

Me and my sister staring flying alone at 11

[LibraryLover]

My 19 yr old has. Transfers, runs to next gate etc.

 

OTOH, my mother will not fly alone, and she's over 60. ;) Never will, never has. It's sometimes a pain in the neck, but as intelligent as she is, could probably get herself lost in the security line.

[NotSoObvious]

I started flying alone around 10.

 

There is NO way I would let my kids fly alone. Different kids. Different times. I *might* let them do a short, one leg trip with an adult at each gate. I think they will be 15 or 16 before I let them do bigger trips alone.

 

But, we have some extra needs.

[Katy]

My siblings and I flew unaccompanied back and forth across the country with two or three transfers each trip when we were under 10. I think that was too young though, and I'd wait until 12 or so. There were too many incidents of getting stuck on runways for hours, being fed soda without access to a bathroom. And too many incidents of being left on a random benches and forgotten during shift changes... leading to "missing" flights due to idiotic airline employees just not bothering to take us to the gate on time. Airports still stress me out (not flying, that's fine, but just being in an airport makes me tense).

 

I suppose a direct flight without transfers might be okay around age 6 with a very independent, obedient child. But the multiple transfers thing, not until about 12. The child should be able to make a bus trip from one side of town to the other with a few transfers, handle money, and not be afraid of confronting adults before flying across the country alone.