Soccer game vent (JAWM)

[AnnaM]

My 7 year old plays on a city league as a stepping stone to trying to make the city elite teams later if she wants. For the most part is just fun. I am not a high pressure parent. However, she does have a natural talent and passion for the sport. Here is where the vent comes in, there is a little girl on the team that drives me INSANE. She is very spaced out anyways, but spends most of the game gazing into nowhere, doing cartwheels, odd stretching, not following directions, kicking the ball the wrong way down the field, stepping in front of the other girls to get the ball and so on. With the entire game going on around her! I mean they will literally have to kick around her doing this stuff! OK, I really do get it. This is a U8 team and I expect that all of the girls should get to play a fairly equal amount of time at this level, and that if my daughter is as good as I think she is, that she will excel despite this one little girl. I also understand that she just needs to mature a bit, but honestly, it is driving me crazy! It effects the entire team when she is out on the field. Keira is quite oblivious to how it trickles through the whole team, and at this level rightly so, but I needed to vent because I just might go crazy. Not trying to bash the little girl, just venting so JAWM.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I hear ya! We call them butterfly chasers ;) They are on every rec team we've ever had, and it never really bothered me until we paid a ton of money for a soccer camp and one kid was literally ruining it for everyone else. When you move to an elite or club team usually only the kids who are serious about the sport will be there.

 

But as long as it's recreational, try to be there for the fun and not really mention it to your child which will affect their outlook. You never really know what's going on with the other kid so it's best to try to relax and enjoy :)

[Samiam]

Ya know what...being a parent of a boy who is similiar, maybe not to the extreme you mentioned but some extreme (but has gotten better as he's matured)...it drives the parent of that child insane too. We get it. He's not focusing. He's not helping the team. Frankly he's a mess on the field. We'll have spent entire games "cheering him" to turn around, go get the ball, etc etc.

 

We also get it's not a huge deal at this age, in this league. It's a "for fun" league. Parents of players who aspire to be greater play in competative leagues. We don't even think about those leagues, but the whole point is that he is out there, learning and maybe he will get better. Maybe after a few seaons, he'll move on to something else, while your child becomes the next Mia Hamm.

 

Meanwhile he doesn't mind sitting the bench. He's a GREAT sport about that. He's cheering on his team. He's the first one to pat your child on the back for a great kick. He'll run and get your water from your parent if you forgot it. He'll talk about the great things his team did (which he probably heard from the coach, since he's barely paying attention himself) despite his team losing.

 

His award at the team party? "Best Teammate". He was proud of that. So were we.

 

I'd recommend to just stop staring at the "butterfly child" if it's taking away THAT much from your enjoyment.

 

Note: I do also want to say that we've got the an older child who is that superstar athlete...best player on every team he ever plays on, so we've been on both sides of the coin. But it was our first child that was "the best"...it wasn't until our second child came along who doesnt' care to be an athlete and had not a bit of athlete in his bones, that we got to see that other side of the coin...and a little bit of eating humble pie on our end.

[happyhomemaker]

Yep, btdt with ds's flag football league. Last season there were 2-3 kids on the team that came sporadically to practice and did not pay attention or really participate at all during the game (even while on the field!). Drove me batty. I'm not a high-pressure parent. Ds isn't going to college on a football scholarship or anything, but he tries hard and wants to improve. Fortunately, the spacey kids did not hinder his progress in the sport. It was frustrating for the players and the coaches though. I think ds's team could have won the playoffs if they had been able to sit those kids on the bench, but it's a Y league so everyone gets to play an equal amount of time. None of them came back this year, and the team hasn't lost a game yet. Coincidence? I think not.

 

All that to say :grouphug: I know it's frustrating, but your dd loves her sport, and she will still progress and have fun despite the spacey kids.

[jar7709]

I understand. My kid is one of these and this is why we only signed him up for team sports that one time, and he only participated in soccer that one year. It was not fun for us as parents to watch, either, no amount of urging to watch the ball or help the other players really helps, they aren't wired for it. Team sports are not for everyone, even if some people (like my *cough* inlaws) seem to think it is the epitome of socialization and a productive childhood. Your little soccer flibbertygibbet problem is probably not going to keep coming year after year, either, I expect, so just try to think of her antics as cute or comedic relief for the remainder of this season, imo. :)

[AnnaM]

I understand. My kid is one of these and this is why we only signed him up for team sports that one time, and he only participated in soccer that one year. It was not fun for us as parents to watch, either, no amount of urging to watch the ball or help the other players really helps, they aren't wired for it. Team sports are not for everyone, even if some people (like my *cough* inlaws) seem to think it is the epitome of socialization and a productive childhood. Your little soccer flibbertygibbet problem is probably not going to keep coming year after year, either, I expect, so just try to think of her antics as cute or comedic relief for the remainder of this season, imo. :)

 

For what it is worth, I really think her dad is trying to live vicariously. He doesn't say it loud enough for her to hear but you can hear him voicing his disappointment in between trying to coach her from the stands. I don't get the impression that it is her "thing" (where maybe gymnastics would be with all of the cartwheeling and stretching she does).

 

Like I said, I take these games with a grain of salt, but tonight it was unusually difficult to play around her and it just made me :glare: We only have one more game.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Yep, and keep in mind this is the age where most kids are still trying to find their "thing." I just think what I'd have been like if my parents had signed me up at that age...ugh. Anyway, it'll pass and the game can still be fun! (Hopefully it isn't a safety issue.)

[Catwoman]

Meanwhile he doesn't mind sitting the bench. He's a GREAT sport about that. He's cheering on his team. He's the first one to pat your child on the back for a great kick. He'll run and get your water from your parent if you forgot it. He'll talk about the great things his team did (which he probably heard from the coach, since he's barely paying attention himself) despite his team losing.

 

His award at the team party? "Best Teammate". He was proud of that. So were we.

 

Your ds sounds like a real sweetie to me! :001_wub:

 

 

I'd recommend to just stop staring at the "butterfly child" if it's taking away THAT much from your enjoyment.

 

:iagree:

 

As long as she's not being mean to anyone or intentionally hurting them, I wouldn't be angry. In fact, I would feel sorry for the poor kid, because maybe her parents "made" her join soccer and won't let her quit, despite the fact that she has no interest in it. Or maybe she's having fun out there, but just doesn't have a clue what she is supposed to be doing (and doesn't really care!)

 

And realistically, these kids are 7. There's still no way to really tell which of them has a real talent for the sport. Sometimes the kids who seem immature and uncoordinated end up being the stars of their teams in a few more years, while the ones who appear to be great athletes turn out to be just average in the end, but they seemed great when they were younger because they were a bit more coordinated at an earlier age.

 

I can't imagine getting upset about sports for 7 year olds, but maybe I'm the exception to the rule. To me, sports for 7 year olds is absolutely, totally, and positively just for fun, and the overly competitive parents should sit down and shut up. (I don't mean you, Anna -- but I'm sure you can picture the ones I do mean, because they're the idiots who yell mean things about the kids when they make a mistake. Because, you know, 7 year-old soccer leagues are just as important as the World Cup. :glare:)

Edited October 10, 2012 by Catwoman
I'm telling you, it's Typo Central over here tonight!

[freesia]

And realistically, these kids are 7. There's still no way to really tell which of them has a real talent for the sport. Sometimes the kid who seems immature and uncoordinated kids end up being the stars of their teams in a few more years, while the ones who appear to be great athletes turn out to be just average in the end, but they seemed great when they were younger because they were a bit more coordinated at an earlier age.

 

I can't imagine getting upset about sports for 7 year olds, but maybe I'm the exception to the rule. To me, sports for 7 year olds is absolutely, totally, and positively just for fun, and the overly competitive parents should sit down and shut up. (I don't mean you, Anna -- but I'm sure you can picture the ones I do mean, because they're the idiots who yell mean things about the kids when they make a mistake. Because, you know, 7 year-old soccer leagues are just as important as the World Cup. :glare:)

 

I completely and totally agree! They are just 7 years old.

[QueenCat]

I can't imagine getting upset about sports for 7 year olds, but maybe I'm the exception to the rule. To me, sports for 7 year olds is absolutely, totally, and positively just for fun, and the overly competitive parents should sit down and shut up. (I don't mean you, Anna -- but I'm sure you can picture the ones I do mean, because they're the idiots who yell mean things about the kids when they make a mistake. Because, you know, 7 year-old soccer leagues are just as important as the World Cup. :glare:)

 

Me either..... at this age it should be about fun and "fun" fitness....

[renmew]

I coached my stepson's U10 team, his second season in 3 years, and I cannot even remember the number of times I had to yell out, "Mack, stop spinning and get in the game!" I'm sure there were parents mad he was out there, especially since in that level the score counted, but it's a community rec league, and all kids have a right to be there, as long as they are not physically hurting anyone. It doesn't hurt anyone's acquisition of skills, just might cost them a win, but that's not what's most important, right?

 

You never know what your kid's going to like until you try, and sometimes it takes a season or two to get in the groove. Isn't that the purpose of community leagues?

[ThisIsTheDay]

...

[Ali in OR]

My dd is a couple of years older than your dd. After 2 years of AYSO (like your city league), she is now on both a club team and an AYSO team (just for fun). Club soccer is about winning. Play tough, put your best players out there, don't aim for equal playing time, etc. AYSO is about giving kids a soccer experience. I'm seeing now that my dd's experience in AYSO is not as important as the butterfly-chaser's experience. AYSO is about THAT player, about opportunities, equal time, encouraging everyone to be involved and to move their bodies. It should be fun. It can still be fun for my dd even if they lose a game because Player X was put in as goalie against a tough team. She can still work on her own skills AND she can help her teammates get better by being supportive in practice and games. DD loves her competitive club team, but she chose to do AYSO again because it's just fun. Your dd will have other opportunities to play with and against athletic, competitive girls. Try to focus on the fun and on her own improvement now.

[happypamama]

I'm cracking up, because I can so see one of my boys being like that (except that if he paid attention, he'd actually probably be really good); he's my sweet, absent-minded professor. My other boy would be front and center, knowing exactly who should have the ball and hustling to his spot. And they'd both be loving it. It would drive me batty to watch too (even if it was my own kid), but at least the child's having a decent time and not sitting on the couch.

 

I'll never forget a soccer game when one of my brothers was about 6 or 7. The coach had his daughter on the team, and at one point, he went to put her in. "M, c'mon, it's your turn to play." M (the coach's daughter): "Do I have to?" Lol.

 

I hear tee-ball's a real riot to watch with the "butterfly children." :)

[Catwoman]

I hear tee-ball's a real riot to watch with the "butterfly children." :)

 

Just don't stand too close to them when they've got the bat! :tongue_smilie:

[Georgiana Daniels]

I love when the kids are very first starting out in soccer and they all travel as a pack--no positions, no strategy, just everyone in one giant huddle, the ball somewhere buried in the middle!

[Catwoman]

I love when the kids are very first starting out in soccer and they all travel as a pack--no positions, no strategy, just everyone in one giant huddle, the ball somewhere buried in the middle!

 

I love that, too!

 

And then one of the moms acts like her 4yo is the Star Player, except that you can't see who she means because he's somewhere in the pack with the rest of them, going the wrong way down the field. :tongue_smilie:

[ErinE]

Well, my ds was THAT kid when he was seven. He was spacey on the field, talking during practice, not paying attention during play. He was supportive of his teammates and admired their skill, but just couldn't get his head in the game. Now, whatever the sport, he's the most dedicated kid on the field. Time after time, the coaches praise him for his heart and enthusiasm. It just took a little for him to mature.

 

Although, he still talks out of turn during practice...

[CAMom]

OK, this almost makes me feel bad for having my kid playing AYSO.:001_huh:

 

It's a U7 team and he's the oldest on his team. But, he's brand new to soccer and doesn't understand what's going on some of the time. He's trying but he's not as good as the other kids yet. It's obvious that the coach thinks he's the weakest kid because he has sat out a quarter every single game and even two quarters this last Saturday.

 

It makes me sad because they are 6 and 7!!! I just want him to get some exercise, learn to be a part of a team and learn soccer skills. He LOVES his team and the sport and really wants to learn but he stinks right now.

 

I really hope the other parents on the team aren't wishing he wasn't there.:001_huh:

 

I know it was a JAWM post but I'm a parent from the other side.

[MrsBanjoClown]

I also have kids who are sometimes those kids. This happened in t-ball as well. We finally refused to let my oldest sign up for t-ball the next year because he just didn't seem to enjoy it while he was on the field (mainly because he was always put as catcher and the catcher was not even allowed/expected to do anything but stand there so he was bored). With soccer he has been better, but he has had times when he decided he was Wall-E in the middle of the game, and the game went on around him while he was oblivious. One thing I would caution against is believing the parents "made" the kid sign up. I have never done anything except ask my boys if they wanted to sign up. They beg to sign up. They love being part of a team. They enjoy practice. Then they have a game and they seem to be elsewhere half the time. They have gotten better. My 5yo was praised at practice today because when the coach asked at the end of practice what they learned, he could tell her everything (she only thought someone would be able to come up with one or two things). My 8yo may not be able to get the soccer ball away from another player or make the shot to score the goal, but he has become a pretty good defensive player and kept the other team from scoring several goals in the last game.

[Slipper]

I love when the kids are very first starting out in soccer and they all travel as a pack--no positions, no strategy, just everyone in one giant huddle, the ball somewhere buried in the middle!

 

My friend calls soccer (at that age) 'bumble bee ball' because it's like a bunch of bees moving around in one big clump. :)

 

My middle daughter used the first year of soccer to practice cartwheels and doing the splits. She had a slower pace than most of her teammates.

 

She still does soccer, but she is a tougher player at this point. The teams are co-ed and some of the guys she goes up against are easily a foot taller and 100 lbs heavier. Sometimes I'm peeking through my fingers as she goes charging full speed towards the ball at the same time as someone else. Because she is small, she is good at diving into the fray and emerging with the ball and then passing it along. I wouldn't call her the best player, but she's certainly not the weakest. She holds her own and she loves it.

 

I'm sure it's frustrating for you to watch, but perhaps look at it as a time to learn patience and encouragement? There was a time when I took martial arts and I loved it. I didn't necessarily love the nights I was assigned to a new person to show them the basics. I eventually turned it into a mission to find something I could learn from everyone, even the newbs. Basically, self-imposed character training for myself. lol

[Georgiana Daniels]

My friend calls soccer (at that age) 'bumble bee ball' because it's like a bunch of bees moving around in one big clump. :)

 

My middle daughter used the first year of soccer to practice cartwheels and doing the splits. She had a slower pace than most of her teammates.

 

She still does soccer, but she is a tougher player at this point. The teams are co-ed and some of the guys she goes up against are easily a foot taller and 100 lbs heavier. Sometimes I'm peeking through my fingers as she goes charging full speed towards the ball at the same time as someone else. Because she is small, she is good at diving into the fray and emerging with the ball and then passing it along. I wouldn't call her the best player, but she's certainly not the weakest. She holds her own and she loves it.

 

I'm sure it's frustrating for you to watch, but perhaps look at it as a time to learn patience and encouragement? There was a time when I took martial arts and I loved it. I didn't necessarily love the nights I was assigned to a new person to show them the basics. I eventually turned it into a mission to find something I could learn from everyone, even the newbs. Basically, self-imposed character training for myself. lol

 

Bumble bee ball--love it!

 

It kind of gets scary when they are playing co-ed.

[SKL]

I'm glad I read this thread, because now I know I will never enroll my kids in team soccer. My very physical dd definitely lacks discipline and focus when there are a bunch of people and lots of noise involved. We'll stick with karate and gymnastics. :)

[Live2Ride]

Ya know what...being a parent of a boy who is similiar, maybe not to the extreme you mentioned but some extreme (but has gotten better as he's matured)...it drives the parent of that child insane too. We get it. He's not focusing. He's not helping the team. Frankly he's a mess on the field. We'll have spent entire games "cheering him" to turn around, go get the ball, etc etc.

 

We also get it's not a huge deal at this age, in this league. It's a "for fun" league. Parents of players who aspire to be greater play in competative leagues. We don't even think about those leagues, but the whole point is that he is out there, learning and maybe he will get better. Maybe after a few seaons, he'll move on to something else, while your child becomes the next Mia Hamm.

 

Meanwhile he doesn't mind sitting the bench. He's a GREAT sport about that. He's cheering on his team. He's the first one to pat your child on the back for a great kick. He'll run and get your water from your parent if you forgot it. He'll talk about the great things his team did (which he probably heard from the coach, since he's barely paying attention himself) despite his team losing.

 

His award at the team party? "Best Teammate". He was proud of that. So were we.

 

I'd recommend to just stop staring at the "butterfly child" if it's taking away THAT much from your enjoyment.

 

Note: I do also want to say that we've got the an older child who is that superstar athlete...best player on every team he ever plays on, so we've been on both sides of the coin. But it was our first child that was "the best"...it wasn't until our second child came along who doesnt' care to be an athlete and had not a bit of athlete in his bones, that we got to see that other side of the coin...and a little bit of eating humble pie on our end.

:iagree:

 

Neither of my kids are overly athletic, but they enjoyed soccer. As a rec coach for four years I loved it! I never had an assistant and only coached the boys (since my son played, I coached his team). I was the only female coach for the boys from U8-U12 and had the same basic core group with new additions each year, but I loved coaching them. 16 boys can be wild and fun, lol. A good coach will teach the more sporty ones to work with the less sporty ones. My son was the dandelion picker, plane watcher, cloud spotter, etc. :D but as the post above details, he was the kindest kid, helpful and rarely complained. I will brag on 'my boys' a bit and say that they were the best team out there in the way they worked together as a team and their sporstmanship. But I demanded it from the get go. They knew it was about team work and only team work. It showed too because as they aged, they became better and better. Their last two years they lost only three games. We still had a few spacey kids and a handicapped child for a year (who they all loved and made him feel important). The faster more athletic kids helped others score goals by working together and encouraging them. I was always pleased at their efforts. Today many of them still play and a few are on the highschool team now. I love seeing them around town and in my local paper. Makes me :D

[Live2Ride]

OK, this almost makes me feel bad for having my kid playing AYSO.:001_huh:

 

It's a U7 team and he's the oldest on his team. But, he's brand new to soccer and doesn't understand what's going on some of the time. He's trying but he's not as good as the other kids yet. It's obvious that the coach thinks he's the weakest kid because he has sat out a quarter every single game and even two quarters this last Saturday.

 

It makes me sad because they are 6 and 7!!! I just want him to get some exercise, learn to be a part of a team and learn soccer skills. He LOVES his team and the sport and really wants to learn but he stinks right now.

 

I really hope the other parents on the team aren't wishing he wasn't there.:001_huh:

 

I know it was a JAWM post but I'm a parent from the other side.

 

You need to speak with the coach. Rec teams for soccer are all about equal playing time. Of course I had some that just couldn't play long periods, but they asked to sit out at times and others would volunteer. I had no problem with that as stamina comes with time. Your child should be playing as much as everyone else. Nothing kills the desire to play faster than being benched all the time and as a former coach, I do not like that. I loved being able to set my boys out there and just cheer them on. I would always tell them before every game, "You've been taught the rules, you've been taught what to do. You've practiced hard all week. This is your game. You control how it's played. You make the decisions. Now go have fun and make it great!" They loved it and it gave them ownership of what they did. I rarely yelled from the sidelines during a game. If I did, it was to swap someone, or to encourage them along. I did not like yelling at them telling them what to do. That was for practice. My spacey kids got reminded by their teammates to hustle along and they normally did so. ;)

[Joanne]

Has the JAWM tradition been abandoned?

 

OP, my oldest spent some early sports years in pre-select teams (baseball). I understand your reaction, and would seek a place to "dump" that frustration appropriately.

[Tidbits of Learning]

 

I hear tee-ball's a real riot to watch with the "butterfly children." :)

 

LOL. My son made dirt angels his entire t-ball season last year. It doesn't help that in the rec leagues there can be up to a 2 year age difference for the kids. My son was 4 and most of his team mates were 6. We specifically didn't do t-ball this year b/c I knew he would still be the youngest on the team.

[Remudamom]

I think it's great to vent here. I'm sure her mom would thank you for your non-comment policy at the games.

[Farrar]

Has the JAWM tradition been abandoned?

 

 

Has there ever been a strong tradition? ;)

 

We chose a league that is specifically okay with butterfly chasers and I feel very lucky that such an attitude exists and that the coach is really patient with all the kids. In the three years they've been playing, their butterfly chasing has gotten so much better. They'll never be star athletes, but they like soccer and see it as a fun activity, which is my primary goal. I also feel frustrated with my kids when they aren't paying attention and I understand the need to vent. But I also hope the OP finds a more elite or rigorous team for her dd that's a better fit.

[AnnaM]

Has the JAWM tradition been abandoned?

 

OP, my oldest spent some early sports years in pre-select teams (baseball). I understand your reaction, and would seek a place to "dump" that frustration appropriately.

 

 

Wow, I was wondering this as well. I am not a mean person. I cheer for the little girl, I am aware that this is an U8 team and I have already said I don't begrudge her playing time or a place on the team. I can not help but be frustrated when my child (or any other child) has a good run at the goal and then trips and falls over another child who is sprawled out on the field because she fell doing a cartwheel. Besides being disappointing for the child who had the ball, it can get down right dangerous.

 

I have a child that is a "butterfly chaser" as well. I understand the "cute" factor, I understand the wanting them to participate and I understand the, "they aren't ready for this" factor.

[Dmmetler]

I think there needs to be two levels of teams, even at U8. I'm in a soccer area, and a lot of the kids start playing at 3. Not surprisingly, by age 6-7, they're pretty serious about what they're doing. Add a kid in the mix who's never played before and who is just there to hang out with other kids, and it messes it up for everyone. In my DD's gymnastics gym, there are pre-team tracks for kids at levels 1-3 or so, but who are serious about the sport and planning to eventually go to team, and rec tracks where the coaches are a lot more tolerant about little girls preening in the mirror and talking while waiting for the bars-and I think that's what's needed.

[T'smom]

OK, this almost makes me feel bad for having my kid playing AYSO.:001_huh:

 

It's a U7 team and he's the oldest on his team. But, he's brand new to soccer and doesn't understand what's going on some of the time. He's trying but he's not as good as the other kids yet. It's obvious that the coach thinks he's the weakest kid because he has sat out a quarter every single game and even two quarters this last Saturday.

 

It makes me sad because they are 6 and 7!!! I just want him to get some exercise, learn to be a part of a team and learn soccer skills. He LOVES his team and the sport and really wants to learn but he stinks right now.

 

I really hope the other parents on the team aren't wishing he wasn't there.:001_huh:

 

I know it was a JAWM post but I'm a parent from the other side.

 

:grouphug: Dh coaches AYSO. It is supposed to be non-competitive. There are rules about how everyone is supposed to get the same amount of playing time. I know my dh takes that seriously. With the number of kids on the team, some have to sit out one quarter and some two, but he keeps a chart and if you're the kid that has to sit out two quarters, you wont't be next time. (I think our team has one extra player than most teams) A couple of times, the other team has agreed to play an extra quarter to help even out the playing time. Anyway, my point is, don't feel bad. aYSO is supposed to be about having fun and learning skills.

[AnnaM]

Has the JAWM tradition been abandoned?

 

OP, my oldest spent some early sports years in pre-select teams (baseball). I understand your reaction, and would seek a place to "dump" that frustration appropriately.

 

 

:iagree: I was looking for a safe place to vent a minor frustration. This hasn't been a life stopping event. It is hard to watch girls get a good run on the ball and then trip over another child who has laid down in the middle of the field. Besides being frustrating it can be dangerous. Last night, it actually caused a knee injury. I don't begrudge the girl a place on the team or playing time. I cheer for her when she gets the ball and pat her on the back at the end of the game. I am not mean and my own child has no idea that I have any feelings about it one way or the other. I have had a "butterfly child". When we realized she wasn't ready for competitive soccer we pulled her and put her in a smaller indoor league that was more focused on using games and such to teach technique.

[AnnaM]

:grouphug: Dh coaches AYSO. It is supposed to be non-competitive. There are rules about how everyone is supposed to get the same amount of playing time. I know my dh takes that seriously. With the number of kids on the team' date=' some have to sit out one quarter and some two, but he keeps a chart and if you're the kid that has to sit out two quarters, you wont' be next time. (I think our team has one extra player than most teams) A couple of times, the other team has agreed to play an extra quarter to help even out the playing time. Anyway, my point is, don't feel bad. aYSO is supposed to be about having fun and learning skills.[/quote']

 

I'm not sure if this is directed at me, but please go and read my original post if it was. I NEVER said I wished she wasn't there. In fact I made it a point to say that I agree with her getting equal playing time on a U8 team. This is a competitive league, but even with that I think at this age it is the right thing to do to give them equal playing time. This has NOTHING to do with how "good" the girl is.

Edited October 10, 2012 by AnnaM

[Lisbeth]

I completely and totally agree! They are just 7 years old.

 

I totally agree. Sheesh, they are 7, still trying to find their way.

[LMA]

nm. I read your comments further.

[EKS]

My son was the child you are describing. So, as a self-appointed representative of the Parents of Awkward Children Club, I apologize. Generally, our members' children drop out of organized sports altogether by the age of 9, so in a few years, this will cease to be a problem.

[AnnaM]

My son was the child you are describing. So, as a self-appointed representative of the Parents of Awkward Children Club, I apologize. Generally, our members' children drop out of organized sports altogether by the age of 9, so in a few years, this will cease to be a problem.

 

 

Once again I have an awkward child. I know what it is like.

 

Have I misunderstood what JAWM means?:001_huh:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Once again I have an awkward child. I know what it is like.

 

Have I misunderstood what JAWM means?:001_huh:

 

No, but sometimes people just can't agree, especially if you're referring in a negative way to kids strongly similar to their own. JAWM isn't a board rule or anything. It actually started as more a of a joke.

 

I also can understand your frustration, but equal playing time means just that--equal playing time, regardless of skill (or lack thereof). So, yes, it does make it harder on some of the other players, but the butterfly chaser is just as entitled to be out there as the others. I think people are just trying to offer some perspective.

[AnnaM]

No, but sometimes people just can't agree, especially if you're referring in a negative way to kids strongly similar to their own. JAWM isn't a board rule or anything. It actually started as more a of a joke.

 

I also can understand your frustration, but equal playing time means just that--equal playing time, regardless of skill (or lack thereof). So, yes, it does make it harder on some of the other players, but the butterfly chaser is just as entitled to be out there as the others. I think people are just trying to offer some perspective.

 

I guess people aren't even reading my posts. If they had, they would know I don't need perspective on equal playing time. It didn't just make it "harder" it actually caused an injury last night.

 

Anyways, this thread has turned out to be way more frustrating than the soccer game ever was.

[T'smom]

I'm not sure if this is directed at me, but please go and read my original post if it was. I NEVER said I wished she wasn't there. In fact I made it a point to say that I agree with her getting equal playing time on a U8 team. This is a competitive league, but even with that I think at this age it is the right thing to do to give them equal playing time. This has NOTHING to do with how "good" the girl is.

 

Oh, I'm sorry....I meant to quote. This was directed at a pp that said she had a butterfly child in AYSO and didn't know if the other parents resented her child for being there.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I guess people aren't even reading my posts. If they had, they would know I don't need perspective on equal playing time. It didn't just make it "harder" it actually caused an injury last night.

 

Anyways, this thread has turned out to be way more frustrating than the soccer game ever was.

 

So what is it that you want people to agree with? That she really shouldn't be out there after all? That someone should DO something about it? Most of us have already agreed that it's definitely frustrating, but I suspect most of us also think you're reacting a bit strongly over soccer for 7-year-olds. No one's going to lose their Olympic berth for 2015 or anything. They're just little children. Perhaps your athlete would be better off in a more serious league instead of one that must, by its nature, humor the butterfly chasers? That's a completely valid need, really.

[Rebel Yell]

My 7 year old plays on a city league as a stepping stone to trying to make the city elite teams later if she wants. For the most part is just fun. I am not a high pressure parent. However, she does have a natural talent and passion for the sport. Here is where the vent comes in, there is a little girl on the team that drives me INSANE. She is very spaced out anyways, but spends most of the game gazing into nowhere, doing cartwheels, odd stretching, not following directions, kicking the ball the wrong way down the field, stepping in front of the other girls to get the ball and so on. With the entire game going on around her! I mean they will literally have to kick around her doing this stuff! OK, I really do get it. This is a U8 team and I expect that all of the girls should get to play a fairly equal amount of time at this level, and that if my daughter is as good as I think she is, that she will excel despite this one little girl. I also understand that she just needs to mature a bit, but honestly, it is driving me crazy! It effects the entire team when she is out on the field. Keira is quite oblivious to how it trickles through the whole team, and at this level rightly so, but I needed to vent because I just might go crazy. Not trying to bash the little girl, just venting so JAWM.

 

I understand, and I agree. It's frustrating to have any child in danger, but more frustrating when you recognize (as few people do) that the child often inadvertently causing the dangerous situations is the very child who most needs the rec level group.

 

Thank you, Anna M for not involving your child in the drama- I think you're doing exactly the right thing. :grouphug:

[aggieamy]

My son was the child you are describing. So, as a self-appointed representative of the Parents of Awkward Children Club, I apologize. Generally, our members' children drop out of organized sports altogether by the age of 9, so in a few years, this will cease to be a problem.

 

I believe I might be the VP of the club. :001_smile: We do tennis now. It's an individual sport.

[CAMom]

:grouphug: Dh coaches AYSO. It is supposed to be non-competitive. There are rules about how everyone is supposed to get the same amount of playing time. I know my dh takes that seriously. With the number of kids on the team' date=' some have to sit out one quarter and some two, but he keeps a chart and if you're the kid that has to sit out two quarters, you wont't be next time. (I think our team has one extra player than most teams) A couple of times, the other team has agreed to play an extra quarter to help even out the playing time. Anyway, my point is, don't feel bad. aYSO is supposed to be about having fun and learning skills.[/quote']

 

This is our first season but I'm the team parent so I went through all the "enforcing the rules" bit at the very serious team parent meeting.:)

 

There's no way my little guy should have had to sit out 2 quarters on Saturday. We have 9 players. That should mean two sitting out each quarter for 8. Then, we sat an extra player the first quarter because the opposing team had a player who was late so we pulled one of ours. That should be 9 players sitting out a quarter that game and we have 9. Each boy should have sat out one quarter.

 

I thought about saying something to the coach because he's a great guy. And, the assistant coach is great, too. But, one, I'm the team parent and didn't want to look demanding when it came to my own kid. I would definitely say something if it was someone else's kid! And, two, I did wonder if some of the parents would rather he be the one who sits so that he doesn't mess up the game. I'm guessing that's true.

 

Thanks for the hug!:)

[EKS]

Once again I have an awkward child. I know what it is like.

 

Have I misunderstood what JAWM means?:001_huh:

 

Actually, I do agree with you, which is why we pulled our son out of organized sports (in spite of his protestations). But please know that as painful and/or frustrating as it is for you to watch, it is *far* more painful for the parents of the awkward child to watch.

[elegantlion]

My son was the child you are describing. So, as a self-appointed representative of the Parents of Awkward Children Club, I apologize. Generally, our members' children drop out of organized sports altogether by the age of 9, so in a few years, this will cease to be a problem.

 

Actually, I do agree with you, which is why we pulled our son out of organized sports (in spite of his protestations). But please know that as painful and/or frustrating as it is for you to watch, it is *far* more painful for the parents of the awkward child to watch.

 

:iagree: - except my son didn't protest. After my son got beaned in the head with a baseball at age 8, he opted to quit. It can be frustrating for kids that need a rec league to get aged out of recreational non-competitive sports at age 8.