Heather in Neverland Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Update on #42 Â I know it sounds stupid and whiney. I do. But I see moms all over whose kids have severe food allergies and it is so hard on them and their kids and I don't want to be that mom. I'm sorry. I don't. I don't want my kid to be that kid. It is so hard on them. Â Took ds to the allergist today and they did allergy testing on the "usual suspects"... eggs, peanuts, milk, wheat, etc. We will get the results tomorrow or Thursday. Doctor seems pretty sure about the peanuts. Â Part of me will be relieved to know what is causing all these horrible symptoms but part of me is throwing a tantrum on the inside because I don't want this to be my life. I don't want this to be my son's life. We live in the WRONG place to have a peanut allergy. There are no peanut free places here. Â I feel for all of you moms who have been dealing with this for years. Maybe I will feel better once we get the official news and we have time to get use to the idea. I don't know. But right now I am definitely having a pity party. :glare: Â Â Â Â . Edited September 5, 2012 by Heather in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Hugs to you and your son. The only thing I can say is I hope it will be easier knowing rather than guessing. Food allergy symptoms are so unpleasant that life will be better if you can avoid them. Â But, of course, you know that. So, :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: I hear you. I don't want to either. It stinks, and there's no use pretending it doesn't. Â The first month or so is by far the hardest. I had a nice pitty party for a couple of days, and then life started to move on. Having to be constantly on your guard is exhausting, but the good thing is that your son is old enough to understand how important it is to be very careful what he eats. Â I'm sure being in Malaysia adds a whole other layer of complexity. When we moved to France it felt like I had to go through a second transition period. Peanuts aren't a big problem here, but the French seem to put egg in every thing they possibly can. We tried to eat out at French restaurants twice, and it didn't go great. We've just accepted that it's just not our reality right now. The only place we go is the one and only Chipotle. Yes, I live in Paris and eat at Chipotle. I know it's sad. Edited September 4, 2012 by Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Oh, you only cry every time you walk through the grocery store or pass a restaurant for the first year or two. Then it gets better. ;) Â It is very stressful and frustrating to deal with food allergies. You have to make a concentrated effort to remember to count your blessings. KWIM? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart_Mom Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It was shocking to me at first, too. I had a friend who dealt with food allergies for a long time and I always thought, "I could never deal with that." Well ... when you need to, you do. It's not easy, but it does get to be the new normal after a while. On the bright side, we eat in a vastly more healthful way than we used to. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 It's hard to deal with and I have been doing it for 16 years. Life becomes Epi-pens, label reading, and benedryl. I hate having to cook 2 different meals sometimes b/c of the egg thing and the youngest asks everyone ALL THE TIME, "Did you have peanut butter? Do you like peanut butter?" He is always stealing people's drinks so that is his way of checking lol:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Â It is difficult. I was in shock for a few weeks---who expects a 12yo to be diagnosed with multiple food allergies? I did cry in the grocery store many times. Meal planning, grocery shopping, and food prep took dominated my days. But it gradually became less of a focus and now, five years later, her food allergies are just a part of life. Â However her 12yo sister is now having problems. She's been to the allergist but tested negative. We are suspecting gluten. I do not want it to be gluten! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Took ds to the allergist today and they did allergy testing on the "usual suspects"... eggs, peanuts, milk, wheat, etc. We will get the results tomorrow or Thursday. Doctor seems pretty sure about the peanuts.  Did they do any sort of skin prick test on your son's back with you there?  {Please ignore the following if yes: Usually they draw a little grid on a person's back with a regular ballpoint pen. Each "square" is designated for the extract of a different allergen solution. They make a small scratch in each square and place a drop of allergen solution on each scratch. They do this on a bare back and measure the diameter of any welts which may appear 15-20 min later. (The concentration of the allergen in the solution is very well defined and known exactly.) The result of this test is usually used in conjunction with blood tests to diagnose a food or environmental allergy conventionally. No matter what they call back with, I guess I'd wish to see the skin test results as well.   ============= X | H ============= 1 | 2 ============= 3 | 4 =============   X = skin prick only (a control) H = skin prick + histamine (a control) 1 = skin prick + Allergen1 2 = skin prick + Allergen2 3 = skin prick + Allergen3 4 = skin prick + Allergen4}  :grouphug: for everyone! Edited September 4, 2012 by mirth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 The first year is hard. Â If recall correctly from your last thread, your ds is not anaphylactic. This is good. Yes, you will eat more at home. You will need to make most of his food, maybe all to begin with. For a while, food analysis will be all consuming and will take over your brain. Â When I first went through this, my dd was 4. An early priority was what could dd eat at social events (bd parties etc). We had to eliminate gluten. But for several years we also eliminated peanuts and eggs and tree nuts. Â Can your ds eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Can he eat prepared bread. Start making a list of "yes" foods. It really helps to see the options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Â we miss you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: the waiting is the hardest part. Once you know, you can get into super mom mode and start dealing and learning. Â I don't want to be an allergy mom either. I hate it actually. My DS is allergic to dairy, soy, egg, wheat, barley, peanuts, treenuts, white potatoes, chickpeas, peas, lentils, Lima beans and he has oral allergy syndrome to raw apples, celery and carrots. I grieve. As dramatic as that sounds, I do. For birthday parties and treats at the fair, and just being able to get something at Starbucks besides water. You will grieve too. Â Â Not a week goes by without a pity party in this house, either me, my husband or my DS. He'll be 6 in November, we've been dealing with this since he was 4 weeks old. I nursed him while avoiding his allergens for 2 years because I wasn't convinced that the rice milk they told me was okay was enough. I was a mental case those years, I always wonder how my marriage survived those years, it was that rough. Â Â It does get better. The first year was really rough, but we have learned to be thankful for the positives. (yes there are some!) He eats way healthier than most kids I know, we all do! I never looked at a label to scrutinize it before the allergy stuff. Now we are organic eating vegans. :) (ds is not vegan because of the legume issues) We've met some great friends on the same journey as well. Â I'm not trying to make this about me, because it's not. It's about all of us that have been dealt this crappy hand. Yes, it s*cks. But, it could also be a lot worse. There are some kids who can't eat any foods who need a g-tube to eat. Â Take time to be sad about it, it is sad. (And anger and confusion and a million other emotions) After a while, it will just become your life and you will just accept it as your new normal. :grouphug: Â Â Ps, did you get a prescription for an epi pen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: No one wants this. Throw yourself a gigantic pity party and let yourself cry. There is a grieving process to this. Later, you'll throw on your supermom cape and deal. For now, just ... give yourself permission to mourn. Â You *do* live in a tough area for peanut. But you can do this. You can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRTGSw2K Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Hugs! Like the pp's said, it does get easier as time goes on. We learned about DDs allergy at 18 months. The hardest thing has been getting used to carrying her allergy stuff (epi-pen and benadryl, + action plan) and navigating social events. Birthday parties are especially tricky. We usually bring her a cupcake or another treat to eat during cake time. Â It WILL get easier, but let yourself grieve. Edited September 4, 2012 by emski4379 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Yep. Not a fun club to join. We've been dealing with food allergies since dd was an infant and is now 11. It gets easier once you find safe foods and meals that work. We no have to go gluetin free and the learning curve is hard. Dd is not happy to lose more foods. She is allergic to eggs, wheat, rice, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, corn, paprika and red pepper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: I hear you. I don't want to either. It stinks, and there's no use pretending it doesn't. The first month or so is by far the hardest. I had a nice pitty party for a couple of days, and then life started to move on. Having to be constantly on your guard is exhausting, but the good thing is that your son is old enough to understand how important it is to be very careful what he eats.  I'm sure being in Malaysia adds a whole other layer of complexity. When we moved to France it felt like I had to go through a second transition period. Peanuts aren't a big problem here, but the French seem to put egg in every thing they possibly can. We tried to eat out at French restaurants twice, and it didn't go great. We've just accepted that it's just not our reality right now. The only place we go is the one and only Chipotle. Yes, I live in Paris and eat at Chipotle. I know it's sad.  :iagree::grouphug: My son was diagnosed with tree nut allergies 2 months before his 6th birthday. I through a major pity party! I cried! I was so angry! Then.... I got used to it. I cleared out the cabinet and donated the food to a pantry. I got the epipens and found a cute carrier for them.  We got used to it. It's just so terrible because it's new. Over 3 years in, we've got our routine.  It'll be okay, Heather.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 The hardest thing for me is not being able to eat on the run. I always have to have something prepared in advance or to carry food with us. Â It stinks. But eventually your new reality just is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Nobody does, Heather. :grouphug::grouphug::group hug: Â Others have already summed-up nicely that it gets easier, but it takes time & it's pretty scary sometimes. One thing that hasn't been mentioned & I wish someone had told me. At some point you will probably be faced with people who you consider friends (this is almost a guarantee from strangers) who don't get it, who will think you're overreacting, who will try to slip something by you/your son in order to prove their point, who will doubt that the allergy even exists, who will repeatedly ask you to brainstorm with them how you could have caused his allergy under the guise of science or being helpful, who will balk at the accommodations your son will need (even if they don't have to make the accommodations), who will talk about how inconvenient it is for others to change their habits just for ONE CHILD, who will start calling every dietary preference or dietary behavioral need an allergy & consider it the same as yours (expecting everyone else to as well). Â It really does change your life. I couldn't have imagined how until it happened to my son. Â Having said all the above, it does get easier. Its been 4 years now since our son's diagnosis. Aside from constantly reminding him to keep track of his epi-pen (he wears it on his person when away from home, NO EXCEPTIONS) it isn't a huge issue. Â When you're ready, post about tips & such & I'm sure we could help a lot. It does seem overwhelming but that feeling passes. We've all been there. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) I understand your hesitation. And honestly, you aren't going to be any happier about this in a year, two years or longer. Â My son had food allergies as a baby/toddler. He outgrew those about 4. But 18 months later we discovered the peanut/tree nut and more. Â So we had 18 months of FINALLY being able to eat as a normal family only to lose it all again. It would have been easier to never have had those 18 months. It hurt emotionally to go backward in the allergy area. He didn't just get one, but multiple allergies and none from our previous list! Â It's hard. Even now years later. :grouphug::grouphug: Â Find a support group if you can to share info for your area. Hospitals often have them. Or start one. Print out recipes you like and find substitutes for your favorite meals. Put them in a notebook together. When you go shopping make lists of items and which place you found it in for future reference. I show more stores now to get things. And honestly, I shop online when I find a product I like and can get a better deal buying in bulk. Â I would think your location is going to be difficult with eating out. There are some books for international travel and you might need to get one. Â It won't be easy in the beginning. But you will get through it. We found it easier for the family to avoid things for the first few years. My dh and dd now eat nut items but I have to be very careful about where/when. And they know if they ever cause issues the nut products go away again. Edited September 4, 2012 by tess in the burbs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Nobody does, Heather. :grouphug::grouphug::group hug:Â Others have already summed-up nicely that it gets easier, but it takes time & it's pretty scary sometimes. One thing that hasn't been mentioned & I wish someone had told me. At some point you will probably be faced with people who you consider friends (this is almost a guarantee from strangers) who don't get it, who will think you're overreacting, who will try to slip something by you/your son in order to prove their point, (OH MY GOSH ARE YOU SERIOUS???? PEOPLE DO THAT??? YOU COULD KILL A CHILD DOING THAT!!!!) Â who will doubt that the allergy even exists, who will repeatedly ask you to brainstorm with them how you could have caused his allergy under the guise of science or being helpful, (just today as I was whining to some colleagues, one said she was "surprised" since my ds is Korean and she didnt think an asian would be allergic to peanuts. The other said "oh, well that's because he is adopted and had the american set of immunizations!" :001_huh: Asians don't have peanut allergies? American vaccines cause peanut allergies?) Â who will balk at the accommodations your son will need (even if they don't have to make the accommodations), who will talk about how inconvenient it is for others to change their habits just for ONE CHILD, who will start calling every dietary preference or dietary behavioral need an allergy & consider it the same as yours (expecting everyone else to as well). Oh great. I can hardly wait. :glare: Â : . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: I've thrown a couple tantrums in the past month. We did a test for dairy (oral challenge) at allergist's office that he passed! Until the hives broke out all over his body two hours later (yup... head to toe giant welts... but we were lucky.... it was only skin and Benadryl took care of it). I'm still grieving. Â We've got things situated for now, but I worry about the teenage years and college. It helps to know that there's a lot of research being done with food allergies now. I hope there will be treatments within a decade or two that'll make his life easier. Â Allow the grieving time (away from the kids). Throw the full on tantrum. This ISN'T FAIR!! Â You will find a new normal. Counting blessings does help make it a bit more manageable. It could be worse. Â But it is bad... and it's okay to grieve. And it'll get better. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Watch out Malaysia super mom will be on the move! You'll be the best peanut allergy advocate that ever hit the country. Hopefully it isn't too severe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Just wanted to mention my friend with the peanut/tree nut allergies is also allergic to sesame seeds. I don't know if your ds was tested for sesame but you might watch out for that as well. Friend was really sad at not being able to go out for Chinese like they used to. Â :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 . Â Unfortunately yes, those things happen. I pray they don't happen to you, truly. Some people are fortunate that they never encounter it & maybe in Malaysia it'll be different. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but I SO wish someone had prepared me for this stuff. I probably would have handled it at least a little better than when I was totally blind-sided. Â You CAN live peanut-free, even in Malaysia. You WILL find alternatives that work for your family. It will be OK. This is just your new reality, like any change it'll get better once you embrace it. Now, it's OK to throw a tantrum & cry. It IS upsetting, but won't always feel as bad as it does now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (OH MY GOSH ARE YOU SERIOUS???? PEOPLE DO THAT??? YOU COULD KILL A CHILD DOING THAT!!!!) Â Sometimes even when the kid is right in the middle of having a reaction, they believe you're making it up or that the kid is being dramatic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth. Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I don't either. It just plain s*cks sometimes. But, we do what we have to do to keep our kids healthy. The good news is that at least 20% of kids outgrow their peanut allergies. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Food allergies suck. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (OH MY GOSH ARE YOU SERIOUS???? PEOPLE DO THAT??? YOU COULD KILL A CHILD DOING THAT!!!!) Â Â Oh yes, I wish it weren't so. I don't have anaphylactic type reactions but MUST be gluten free. People try to slip me foods that they've assured me are cooked from scratch and don't contain gluten but actually do have wheat in them and they know it too. They really believe it's all in my head and if I eat it without knowing it's in there, I'll be fine! :glare: Â Sigh....people are just so opinionated these days and they voice those opinions liberally without any basis in scientific fact. I sometimes long for the Edwardian days when there were only a handful of topics that were polite to address in public, health issues being quite taboo along with politics, and other hot button issues. It would save us all from so much social angst. Â All I can say is your life has been forever changed and I'm sorry. You will adjust and you'll learn to take his food with you wherever you go so that he can totally refrain from eating other things in a social setting. Hopefully, that will be okay in the Malaysian culture. I've found that it isn't all that okay in our local micro-culture. Apparently in rural Michigan, all of the old ladies at church get really bent if you politely declined what they've fixed for the church potluck and they don't readily accept any explanation about it either. I've become very, very tired of trying to explain my health issue which is REALLY NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and attending church events in which there is virtually nothing for me to eat accept the dish I brought to pass. Dh is tired of seeing the stress it puts on me and so now we just don't attend ANY church events in which food is served. We no longer accept any dinner invitations except my mom and my mil who are very vigilant with me and I REALLY appreciate it! They are great cooks and it's nice to know I can eat there and not be sick later. Â :grouphug::grouphug: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Admitting I have not read all the replies. Â OP, don't feel ashamed to give yourself (and your child) a time to grieve the loss of a "normal" diet. It is a huge adjustment and it's ok to be sad. Â My dd was diagnosed with celiac disease over 7 years ago. It was very hard for a while. I kept thinking about all the birthday parties and pizza parties where she would not be able to eat anything. She now attends both, but brings her own food and is ok with it. She knows she has to eat differently to be healthy. Â It will get better. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I post this article on allergy threads from time to time. And I read it when I need a laugh. Â On a serious note, there is no sugar-coating how hard it is. You will adjust, but yes, it is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 I post this article on allergy threads from time to time. And I read it when I need a laugh. On a serious note, there is no sugar-coating how hard it is. You will adjust, but yes, it is hard.  That made me laugh! Thank you. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:Â we miss you! Â Awww... We miss you too!!! And Otis. We miss him lots! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: Â I understand! It is a hard club to belong to. I agree with Mamaflow...people around you are sometimes the worst. My own mom is often a problem with this. I have found that it is easiest to always bring food wherever we go. It is a pain, but it is better than going without food or wondering if what you are eating will make you sick. Â Another thing I had to learn is that even when you identify a safe food at the grocery store or restaurant, they might change the ingredients at any time. Always remember to check the ingredients! I learned this the hard way with Trader Joes pesto pizza. It was made with pine nuts (which I am not allergic to) and so I bought it all the time. One day I was eating one and my mouth starts breaking out in hives. Turns out the pine nut prices went up and so they switch the ingredients to walnuts. I am allergic to walnuts...:glare: Â The good news is that in time, it will become your new norm, and life will go on.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandst Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 The peanut one is pretty critical around here. My son stops breathing within 10 minutes. then we have the tree nuts and sesame seeds. We move on to Gluten, soya, dairy, eggs, olive oil, olives, wheat, msg, tbhq and all sorts of food coloring and preservatives. Still growing, having a few more tested as soon as we can get a cancelation so more foods on the no eat list... Â He is also allergic to parafin and parabens as well as some other skin stuff. So it has been hard to find the right creams and even phamaceutical stuff. Some creams and soaps would just make him peel off chunks of skin until we could see open flesh wounds. Horrible, it is like leaving in an horror movie. Add this to a child with SPD, anxiety disorder, ODD and ADHD it has not been a walk in the park. Â Living in Africa does not help because most companies do not declare ingredients properly. We had some of these since 2006 like the peanuts, tree nuts, sesame seeds, soya, msg, tbhq and the food coloring and preservatives but some other ones are new. The only specialist that was willing to help us after four other ones is 1600 mile away and I keep on phoning or sending e-mails because ingredients change. It has been a batle, first to get the special bandages, then special soaps and creams, then just now he was getting worst and one of his meds is now sweetened with lactose. Atarax one of the medications that seems to help has been out of the market for over 6 months. I managed to get it from Europe but we are close to runnig out again. I have a friend going back to Europe that will try and get some more. Â October last year he went into Hyper IgE and we had to deal with it. Â After having my son bed ridden and covered in sores, sweeping buckets of skin up off the floor and bed and having to change bandages over 75% of his body every twelve hours for the past 10 months I would be so mad if someone told me it is on his head. We had to handle him as a burnt patient and he was on antibiotics. Â Besise the above our life has also been a windwhirl of humidifiers, air purifiers, nebulisers, medication and pumps for the past ten months. He also has severe allergies to a bunch of enviromentals, dust, mold, fungi, cats (he always got extreme hives and stopped breading from cats), fur, feather, dirt, grass, polen... He should be a buble boy!? Â We have had to learn to deal with it and there is a certain mourning and uncertainty. For me the biggest problem is cross contamination. Alergy free foods are extremely expensive here and limited that we can spend US 500 just on food for this child. We cannot afford to put the entire family on the same diet. Food prep and kitchen cleaning is very hard but we survive. Because of our uncrtain financial sitution my biggest fear is that some time from now we will not be able to provide this child with what he needs. Â For me the hardest part is the uncertainty of its all. He was having and OK time up until Sunday. We spent the whole afternoon in between services at church, I was working in the resource room prep and writting the manuals for our Spring Holiday Kids Program (VBS type program) and he was playing in the hall for a while and outside on the jungle Gym. By the time we got home on Sunday he battling to breath and is skin was red, blotchy and hot?!? So we went into intervention mode (will refrain from describing it here as I have taken too much ofyour time) and he spent most of Monday sleeping because he was feeling so sick. Â This is messing up our HS and our entire life revolves around this child. My DD is starting to rebel because she feels 'negleted'. People in our church do not understand and complain if only one of us attends services because the other one has to stay home with a sick child. Also some people feel offended because he uses a beanie on his head the entire time. I have tried to explain that he has sores and bold spots on his head and that most of his eyebrows have fallen due to the sickness. He is embarassed (just turned 11) and this is the only way he will leave the house. Â Please feel free to grieve and give yourself permission to ignore people comments. :grouphug: I will be prying for you and your family... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 :grouphug: Â Yes, it's HARD at first. Sometimes it's ALWAYS hard when people don't "get it". BUT, you know something I've noticed when it comes to living with food allergies? You tend to naturally eat a bit healthier. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I've been "that mom" for 8 years, and I still don't want to be her. It was easy in the early years when DS was still too young to really understand what he was missing. Now that he's almost 9, he gets it. He makes comments that he wishes he didn't have allergies so he could eat donuts, normal cake, any candy bar or ice cream. Â Just this past weekend we were at the cottage and DH made burgers on the grill. Just as we were sitting down to eat MIL commented on how the grill was dirty when she got there 2 days prior with fish. They'd let a friend stay there who is a fisherman and they grilled a lot of fish just the week before. Â And I then had to tell my DS who LOVES burgers that he can't eat the burgers because he's already had an anaphylactic reaction to fish and I wasn't sure if the burgers were now contaminated. He was one very sad boy. I felt terrible. If MIL had told me ahead of time we could have put down foil or washed the grill with soap. Â So ya, being that mom does suck outside of your own home bubble. I can read labels and bake allergen-free desserts, but no one else does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I post this article on allergy threads from time to time. And I read it when I need a laugh. On a serious note, there is no sugar-coating how hard it is. You will adjust, but yes, it is hard.   Oh my! I remember when the first column came out, the one when he made fun of food alergies... While I'm sorry for his kid, like all of our kids, i can't help feeling vindicated.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Have you gotten the results yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Have you gotten the results yet? Â Yes. I got them a few hours ago. It's official. No more peanuts for him. In addition, he is very allergic to dust mites apparently. So we came home with a bag full of prescriptions. Â I can tell we are in Asia because the doctor's advice for the dust mites is to get rid of his mattress and have him sleep on a yoga mat on the floor. :001_huh: Â Â Coincidentally, the nurse was doing vision screenings on all the students today and he failed...with his glasses ON. :glare: Â So now we have to get him new glasses. This is the third prescription change in a year. And speech therapy is costing us a fortune. This poor kid can't catch a break. Sigh. Â So it begins... A new chapter in our life and all I want to do is take a nap. But first I need to learn how to say "Does this have peanuts in it?" in Malay, Tamil, and Mandarin. Â I am sure I will be asking for plenty of advice so thank you all for your support in this. Â Â . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Yes. I got them a few hours ago. It's official. No more peanuts for him. In addition, he is very allergic to dust mites apparently. So we came home with a bag full of prescriptions. I can tell we are in Asia because the doctor's advice for the dust mites is to get rid of his mattress and have him sleep on a yoga mat on the floor. :001_huh:   Coincidentally, the nurse was doing vision screenings on all the students today and he failed...with his glasses ON. :glare:  So now we have to get him new glasses. This is the third prescription change in a year. And speech therapy is costing us a fortune. This poor kid can't catch a break. Sigh.  So it begins... A new chapter in our life and all I want to do is take a nap. But first I need to learn how to say "Does this have peanuts in it?" in Malay, Tamil, and Mandarin.  I am sure I will be asking for plenty of advice so thank you all for your support in this.   .  I'm sorry. I know it isn't what you wanted to hear. :grouphug: Combined with the glasses that made for a rough day. At least you have answers now.  The doctor's advice about the yoga mat was funny. Not like in the US, where they give you a list of things to buy: mattress protector, pillow cover, air purifier, HEPA vacuum, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Yes. I got them a few hours ago. It's official. No more peanuts for him. In addition, he is very allergic to dust mites apparently. So we came home with a bag full of prescriptions. I can tell we are in Asia because the doctor's advice for the dust mites is to get rid of his mattress and have him sleep on a yoga mat on the floor. :001_huh:   Coincidentally, the nurse was doing vision screenings on all the students today and he failed...with his glasses ON. :glare:  So now we have to get him new glasses. This is the third prescription change in a year. And speech therapy is costing us a fortune. This poor kid can't catch a break. Sigh.  So it begins... A new chapter in our life and all I want to do is take a nap. But first I need to learn how to say "Does this have peanuts in it?" in Malay, Tamil, and Mandarin.  I am sure I will be asking for plenty of advice so thank you all for your support in this.   .  On the plus side :D now you know that peanuts isn't his only allergy so the other symptoms which were happening quite a lot were maybe not peanut related. That would make things much easier.  :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Yes. I got them a few hours ago. It's official. No more peanuts for him. In addition, he is very allergic to dust mites apparently. So we came home with a bag full of prescriptions. I can tell we are in Asia because the doctor's advice for the dust mites is to get rid of his mattress and have him sleep on a yoga mat on the floor. :001_huh:   Coincidentally, the nurse was doing vision screenings on all the students today and he failed...with his glasses ON. :glare:  So now we have to get him new glasses. This is the third prescription change in a year. And speech therapy is costing us a fortune. This poor kid can't catch a break. Sigh.  So it begins... A new chapter in our life and all I want to do is take a nap. But first I need to learn how to say "Does this have peanuts in it?" in Malay, Tamil, and Mandarin.  I am sure I will be asking for plenty of advice so thank you all for your support in this.   .  :grouphug:  I'm sorry for your ds and for all of you making these adjustments.  One thought on the glasses' prescription. Have you considered gas permeable contact lenses? When I was a kid my eyes kept getting dramatically worse, quickly, and contact lenses slowed that process down enormously. It was a really big, dramatic change when I got contacts. They say there is nothing better for correction than a hard lens (the gas perms are considered "hard" because they are not soft) right on the eye. I was 11yo when I got the lenses.  Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Does a peanut allergy mean nothing cooked in peanut oil? Because I can't imagine trying to navigate that in Asia. I mean, one time in China, I wanted to buy a small thing of cooking oil (peanut, because there wasn't anything else) at the store and the smallest they had was like a gallon jug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Does a peanut allergy mean nothing cooked in peanut oil? Because I can't imagine trying to navigate that in Asia. I mean, one time in China, I wanted to buy a small thing of cooking oil (peanut, because there wasn't anything else) at the store and the smallest they had was like a gallon jug. Â I am not sure. I forgot to ask. We have an appointment with a dietician (it is part of the allergy testing package) so I will ask. There so much info being thrown at me today I am sure there are things I should have asked. :confused: Â Â Â . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Yes. No peanut oil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Yes. No peanut oil! Â Ok. Good to know. Although that will be a tough one in Asia. I guess we will be eating out a lot less. Â Â Â Â . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. :( Â Â Â For the dustmite thing, my DS is very allergic as well, and does not sleep on a yoga mat. :D we have his mattress, and pillow encased and he has a hypoallergenic duvet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Both my dh and my youngest dd are allergic to peanuts. They have to avoid some restaurants here. On the other hand, my youngest is also allergic to citric acid and that is so hard to deal with- always reading labels, questioning, etc. WHat is strange with it is that often she can eat the cheap junk food rather than the better, not so junky food. Anyway, I relate totally, ' Dh and I savor when she is away on trips or going out because we can then have tomatoes, lemons, etc. to our heart's delight. We do eat tomatoes and oranges but we don't cook with them any more since I am not interested in making two dinners and she can't have them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 OP, welcome to the allergy mom club. When you get accustomed to the new routine, there will be less mental energy spent thinking about this, but it takes a while for some things to become automatic. And yet, the worry never goes away.  My peanut-allergic ds9 is now allergic to tree nuts also, though he was avoiding them anyway (why, WHY did I feel the need to buy giant Nutella at Costco - I crave everything he can't have). Sesame seeds is a new one, and just as irritating, because I have to read labels much closer. He was finally willing to eat hamburgers, and now I have to be very careful about the buns :glare:. Generally though, he has had a rough year as he is much more aware of what he cannot have than in years past. A little outing to the ice cream parlor with his cousins ends with him empty-handed and in tears, etc.  One thought on the glasses' prescription. Have you considered gas permeable contact lenses? When I was a kid my eyes kept getting dramatically worse, quickly, and contact lenses slowed that process down enormously. It was a really big, dramatic change when I got contacts. They say there is nothing better for correction than a hard lens (the gas perms are considered "hard" because they are not soft) right on the eye. I was 11yo when I got the lenses. Just a thought.  I've been meaning to ask on the board about reshaping the cornea with gas permeable lenses. My dd11 had several prescription changes in a year, and the optometrist recommended the GP lenses (dd wanted to start wearing contact lenses anyway). She sleeps in the lenses, removes them in the morning, and can see all day. The idea is so cool.  But, we just started this, and there have been a lot of appointments - what a hassle - and dd complains that things hurt her eyes sometimes, etc. The kicker was the other night, over the long weekend, when she ended up losing the lens during the night (she had a tough time sleeping). So, the lens must be ordered, and it took a few days for her corneas to get bad enough that she could wear her glasses again. I don't like all this time with unclear vision when she can't just put on her glasses which would be too strong, and I'm so ticked about buying another lens ($185). I told her that if it happens again, she'll have to go with regular ones instead. (Sorry, this has been quite a week already and I need to vent :tongue_smilie:) It's funny - I was the one trying to convince her to try these, and now she's the one who appreciates the benefit of not having to deal with lenses during the day, and wants to keep going with them even though I'm frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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