happypamama Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I'm just sending hugs to the OP and her daughter. Just, yuck to that other mom. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Turns out it is my fault. I got a call from one of the moms that attended the tea and didn't stay overnight at the hotel. She said the mom told all the moms that she wanted my daughter to come but she was afraid I would want to come with the other moms to the tea. She said I don't dress nice enough and since I am overweight, the pictures wouldn't look good. I am not a slob or anything, I am just more of a Land's End girl and she and her circle of friends are much more trendy. The mom felt really bad about it and wanted me to know that she didn't take part. I think I will just tell DD that the mom doesn't like me. I don't think I want to go into the weight thing with DD. OMG!!!! :svengo: I cannot believe adult women would behave this way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I was once at a function where they were asking for volunteers for an event. One of the wives volunteered, but was immediately told that it needed to be a higher ranking wife, because she needed to wear something nice. This was in front of a large group of people and to her face. So, yes, I believe it happened. I am sorry, Lori. Hope you and your dd can find a better class of friends. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SitLongTalkMuch Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 That is so true about coastal So Cal in general. I hear women cut down other women all the time socially. It's awful. I honestly wonder how it would be if I lived in a town where this wasn't so prevalent. We actually moved thousands of miles to a rural (less than 2000 people in the county) location just to get away from these situations. I now live in the middle of the woods and my closet neighbor is over a mile away. I can see no one from my home. I have a very few female acquaintences and NO real female friends. I have been burned by almost every female I have ever known except my grandmothers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I am sorry. Time for new friends. It sounds like you could plan something fun with the mom that refused to go. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I would tell your dd to keep the gift card and buy something for herself with it. Why would you encourage your dd to give a gift to a kid who purposely excluded her from a birthday party that she knew your dd was very excited about attending? :confused: I'm sorry, but I just don't buy into the whole "be the bigger person" thing. How are you being a bigger person by rewarding a person who intentionally hurt your feelings? Why should Lori's dd be gracious when the other child was not? If you really want her to be gracious (and again, I don't see why you would,) have your dd send her a birthday card. NO GIFT. A gift is not required if she wasn't invited to the party. (And because the mom specifically asked you for your address so she could send the invitation, I wouldn't be feeling particularly friendly toward her right now, either. She really messed up in a big way, and she was incredibly inconsiderate of your dd's feelings. :glare:) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SitLongTalkMuch Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 . Queen Bee Moms often have dds who turn out to be just like them, so ultimately, the daughter probably wouldn't have been a good friend to Lori's dd, either. Queen Bee's also turn on their daughters like mine did. My mother loved nothing more than to get a group of people agreeing with her about how horrible I was. I hated who I was when I had any contact with my mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Which is why we see shows like real housewives in places like OC. I spent almost 20 years of my adult life in SoCal. I knew people like this existed, but I was NOT a part of it. My friends and work acquaintances were far more down to earth. The hardest part for me is when we see this among those who claim Christ as their savior. They may not be as blunt as this woman in this story, but they will do it anyway. How God must grieve that one of his creation deems others of his creation to be unworthy. You are a doll, Cat. :grouphug: This is more where I was coming from. I could so, so easily see this happening here in Orange County and part of the reason I started posting about moving. This is definitely the type of thing that happens here. By the standards of the fancy pants people here I could be considered not good enough for such an event. I just posted out of being indignant for poor Lori.:grouphug::grouphug: It was more of a instinctual thing.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) OP...Please don't tell your daughter she couldn't go because of you. Really. You can't be sure if you were told the truth and anyway, if you were, that's adult stuff that she should NOT have to deal with. If it's not too late simply help her assume the best (lost invitation) so she can have her friendshipwithout any burdens or resentments. Having dealt with the ultimate Mommy Mean Girl Club, I don't agree with this advice. If the OP's dd tries to maintain a friendship with the birthday girl, this type of situation will happen over and over again. The OP's dd should be told why she was not invited so she realizes that it has absolutely nothing to do with her. When we first moved into our new neighborhood, I stood up to the Mommy Mean Girl Club, and my boys paid the price. If the Queen Bee in the Mommy Mean Girl Club got angry at another mom, the mom's kids were no longer invited to any of the neighborhood activites and some moms in the club would not even let their kids speak to the other kids for fear that the same fate would happen to their kids. I had never seen anything like it in my life..I once saw a grown women actually crying at the neighborhood pool because she had unintentionally upset the Queen Bee and now her kids had no one to play with in the neighborhood. My boys would play with some of the neighborhood kids on a one on one basis, but the Moms in the Club would also take turns hosting an annual Halloween Party, Christmas Party and Campout Party - my boys were never invited. When it was one mom's turn to host the Campout Party, the mom called me ahead of time to apologize that even though she would like to, she would not be able to invite my boys because her son would then no longer be included in the group. My boys would spend the night at this "friends" house, and the "friend" would have sleepovers at our house, but the mom was too afraid to let her son associate with my boys in the presence of the Queen Bee's boys. Another time, a mom in the club asked me if I would be able to watch her son (he was 8 yrs old at the time) because her mother was sick and she and her husband wanted to vistit her for the weekend. Her son stayed with my family from Friday after school until late Sunday evening. Three weeks later she hosted the Christmas party for the neighborhood kids and did not invite my kids. Same reason as the other mom... My boys were very upset, and didn't understand why their friends were excluding them. I told them that it had absolutley nothing to do with them. Some of the moms in the neighborhood didn't like me and that was why they were excluded. (My kids knew about the issue that caused the drama in the first place and understood why I did what I did.) At the time, if we could have afforded to move, we would have. Luckily, my kids had a lot of friends from their old neighborhood. It was much harder for those families that had moved from out of state, which was why they were reluctant to stand up to the Queen Bee. As the neighborhood has grown along with the kids, the Mommy Mean Girl Club is no longer relevant, but it was tough going when the boys were young. Edited September 3, 2012 by snowbeltmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 :eek: :eek: :eek: THAT IS HORRIBLE! Thank goodness you found out about this. It would only have been a matter of time before the mom would have made snotty comments about you in front of your dd, or even worse, gotten catty with your dd about the way she looks (or "let's hope you don't take after your mom -- it would be terrible to see a pretty little girl like you gain weight," said with a big smile. :glare:) And FWIW, Lori, I really like your avatar photo, and I think you are exceptionally pretty. I absolutely disagree with that sentiment. First of all, this wasn't a $10.00 gift -- this was a gift card for a substantial amount of money. Would you give a handful of cash to someone who behaved that way toward you? I really doubt it. Secondly, unless you live in a world where women are that catty and superficial, you have no idea about the mindset. If Lori gives the gift card to the kid, the other mom will view herself as being the Important Alpha Queen Bee Mom to whom all others must bow down, no matter how poorly she treats them. She will feel that she has won. She will feel that poor, pathetic, inferior Lori is so desperate for her friendship, that she's willing to suck up to her even after she knew that she had been snubbed and publicly ridiculed, and her dd had been intentionally excluded from the party. She will be happy all day long. And she will tell all of the other moms in her little coven all about it, and they'll have a great laugh over it. And Lori will look like a woman who is so desperate for her daughter to be friends with this other kid, that she's willing to crawl in the dirt and beg for it. Believe me. I grew up knowing lots of women just like the Evil Mom in Question, and they are too shallow and full of themselves to ever grasp the idea that the gift card would be anything but an attempt to suck up and be part of her catty little group. I would never, ever give a gift to that child, and I wouldn't have anything to do with the mom or the girl ever again. So true. So very very true. :iagree: I grew up with a mom just like Cat describes. I moved thousands of miles away just to get away from her and others like her. So yes there are woman out there who would absolutely not invite you to a kids b-day party based on looks alone. The damage these women leave in their wake is undenialable. Queen Bee's also turn on their daughters like mine did. My mother loved nothing more than to get a group of people agreeing with her about how horrible I was. I hated who I was when I had any contact with my mother. Also very very true! :iagree: I've always found that "pretty" really comes from inside. An "average" looking person is beautiful if they're a kind person. A beauty queen is ugly is she's a *****. Those women, or at least that mom, is one of the ugliest people on the planet and no amount of Sak's or Neiman's can change that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 It reminds me of that quip "I may be fat but I can lose weight. You're ugly and what's the cure for that?!." There is not a cure for the callousness and superficial nature of this mom. You are better off without her. I live in a pretty casual place and even here, I have heard people say things like "oh but not her. She would ruin the pictures." it is strangely socially normative to insult fat people. I don't tolerate it but way too many do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 The hardest part for me is when we see this among those who claim Christ as their savior. They may not be as blunt as this woman in this story, but they will do it anyway. How God must grieve that one of his creation deems others of his creation to be unworthy. I'd take an OC snob over a self righteous GCB any day.:glare: :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I'd take an OC snob over a self righteous GCB any day.:glare: :( What is a GCB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Ok, I am all for giving gifts to the intended party. Gifts are to be given without strings, or they are not gifts but barter. My mother has spent my whole life showing me things she bought for me or other people, but decided to keep because she liked it so much herself, and then purchased some obligatory, thoughtless trinket instead... You get the idea. However: 1. Lori should never, ever interact with this unholy biotch again. Thus, there is no opportunity to present said gift to its intended recipient. Which leads us to... 2. It is wasteful to hoard such a thing. What I suggest is that Lori and daughter get all gussied up, use the gift card to go to tea at AG, and post the pictures on FB with the caption "Fat, dumpy girl goes to tea!" with a description of the wonderful time had. Unbelievable, these people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 It came from the new TV show.....stands for Good Christian B*****es. What is a GCB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 It came from the new TV show.....stands for Good Christian B*****es. Ah. I see. Yes Martha I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 WOOOOOW. That was just the sound of my jaw hitting the floor and my eyeballs rolling across the room. Seriously, I don't get out much (and catty, bi**chy women are a LARGE part of the reason why) but I cannot believe this. No words. Seriously. I will continue to be unsocial and avoid people like this, thankyouverymuch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I personally, would feel like that that gift card was "tainted". I can understand everyone's feelings about spending it on the OP dd, but I wouldn't. If you are able I would donate it. Have some good come out of this horrible situation. :grouphug: My heart hurts for you. If you feel the need to tell the bday girl happy birthday send her a sweet card and be done. While I wouldn't tell my daughter she couldn't associate with the other little girl, I wouldn't go out of my way at all to see her either. I would work on finding her and myself a different friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Well, the hive has done a fabulous job of castigating this ridiculous woman -so I will simply add that I hope you are able to protect your heart and keep this ugly untruth from worming its way into your self-image. It may be a mighty, mental battle, but keep the truth at the forefront of your mind; she is the damaged one, not you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Turns out it is my fault. I got a call from one of the moms that attended the tea and didn't stay overnight at the hotel. She said the mom told all the moms that she wanted my daughter to come but she was afraid I would want to come with the other moms to the tea. She said I don't dress nice enough and since I am overweight, the pictures wouldn't look good. I am not a slob or anything, I am just more of a Land's End girl and she and her circle of friends are much more trendy. The mom felt really bad about it and wanted me to know that she didn't take part. I think I will just tell DD that the mom doesn't like me. I don't think I want to go into the weight thing with DD. Honey.... I do not have a "bless her heart" big enough for that big ol' donkey b*tch. Even though I'm supposed to be having a no-spend September, I will, however, go out and buy a few more cans of whoop-a$$ and a 5-lb. bucket of sass and make one for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I've always found that "pretty" really comes from inside. :grouphug: There is an old saying that "pretty is as pretty does." Similar sentiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Turns out it is my fault. I got a call from one of the moms that attended the tea and didn't stay overnight at the hotel. She said the mom told all the moms that she wanted my daughter to come but she was afraid I would want to come with the other moms to the tea. She said I don't dress nice enough and since I am overweight, the pictures wouldn't look good. I am not a slob or anything, I am just more of a Land's End girl and she and her circle of friends are much more trendy. The mom felt really bad about it and wanted me to know that she didn't take part. I think I will just tell DD that the mom doesn't like me. I don't think I want to go into the weight thing with DD. I have no words. Other than I agree with Audrey. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 ...I will, however, go out and buy a few more cans of whoop-a$$ and a 5-lb. bucket of sass and make one for you. :lol::lol::lol::cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldGirl Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 There really are people like this IRL?? This is stuff I read in Reader's Digest (and now the Hive). I am so sorry. Hopefully your Hive friends have cheered you up a bit.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I will continue to be unsocial and avoid people like this, thankyouverymuch. I know, really?!?!?!? My personal hope is that on 12/21 that instead of the world ending there will be some sort of cosmic pimp slap to all the bad people. May they please all wake up and become decent humans! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiMomNP Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I'm so sorry. That type of attitude is in the one thing I do not miss about living in Newport Beach, CA. Nasty, catty, and rude. I was a farm girl from New England when I moved there, I'm not even Land's End..LOL! I experienced that stuff a lot. It was a major reason that I started to homeschool and eventually moved, it was just such an unhealthy environment to be subjected to day in and day out. I love the beach and the ocean, but it just wasn't worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 WOOOOOW. That was just the sound of my jaw hitting the floor and my eyeballs rolling across the room. Seriously, I don't get out much (and catty, bi**chy women are a LARGE part of the reason why) but I cannot believe this. No words. Seriously. I will continue to be unsocial and avoid people like this, thankyouverymuch. Hear, hear! I'd probably spend the gift card on my own kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarynB Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Have you ever wondered how it is that other Mums manage to pull off such amazingly successful children's parties without even breaking a sweat? The secret to the perfect children's party is a combination of enthusiasm, thoughtful planning and the ability to maintain control over a room of rowdy sugared up mini people. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Mike Smith invitationbox REPORTED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Oooh, I forgot about this thread. Now I'm mad all over again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Me, too! But I was enjoying Elizabeth's "cosmic pimp slap" daydream. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I missed it the first time, and I realized a few pages in that it was an old thread...but I was mad for her even months later!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 So... any follow-up? Is the OP's DD still friends with Mean Mom's DD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 So... any follow-up? Is the OP's DD still friends with Mean Mom's DD? According to her profile, she hasn't posted since this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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