Impish Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Ok, new socialization ? has come up. Was happily sharing news about our new move coming up. Was quizzed on if it's a move to a bigger city, will the kids have the opp to make friends, etc, etc, etc. Well...no. It's moving INTO a park. Like...in the park. Not a town, neighbourhood, etc. We'll have conservation officers for neighbours, and that's all. I explained that we're looking into swim lessons, riding lessons, 4H for Diva, and still plan for the kids to attend Sunday school. How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We live 12 miles out of town on acreage, and honestly I've never had anyone ask me that. :confused: We have a car, and we drive to activities. Duh. I think I would look at them like they were daft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 "We have friends who come over and play with our kids on the property. They love it." And what MamaT said....."We have a car and drive other places." I don't understand the question either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We moved out of "town" 5 months ago. Honestly, my kids do miss subdivision living. They miss playing with the neighborhood kids. So, that bums me out. However, if people ask about socialization I just tell them we have to be more intentional about it than we were. We invite people over more, go to park days, take classes, etc. I've also taken advantage of the land to start a new tutorial every week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We go visiting or friends come visit us. Just like normal city folk. ;) The only difference is the distance is a bit farther. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker of Schole Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Depends on who's asking. Family would probably get a smart remark about how we're anti-social. Others would probably get a blank stare (I have a tendency to not care what others think). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 Part of it is, no doubt, the fact that I don't drive. Plus, we just moved 5 hrs from where we were before, so we don't have an established network of friends to invite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We live 12 miles out of town on acreage, and honestly I've never had anyone ask me that. :confused: We have a car, and we drive to activities. Duh. I think I would look at them like they were daft. "We have friends who come over and play with our kids on the property. They love it." And what MamaT said....."We have a car and drive other places." I don't understand the question either. We go visiting or friends come visit us. Just like normal city folk. ;) The only difference is the distance is a bit farther. :D :iagree: most people I know envy our life so..... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Part of it is, no doubt, the fact that I don't drive. Plus, we just moved 5 hrs from where we were before, so we don't have an established network of friends to invite. but you will, no doubt, make friends who DO drive. It will take time and patience though, absolutely. Really, though, you can always move to a different location if it doesn't work. Tell people that you are aware of that issue and paying attention to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We live smack in the middle of town and we still drive to all of our activities, play dates, etc. we live in an older neighborhood and there aren't many kids near the age of mine around. I drive them to meet friends mostly. Just because you live nearer people doesn't mean you have to interact with them regularly. :p I would rather encourage friendship with people that are good for DC to hang out with than just bc they live down the steet (not saying that some people don't have neighbors that would make good friends for their DC, we just don't). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 but you will, no doubt, make friends who DO drive. It will take time and patience though, absolutely. Really, though, you can always move to a different location if it doesn't work. Tell people that you are aware of that issue and paying attention to it. :iagree: We live in a neighborhood. My children have just recently started playing with the renters next door. Otherwise, we've been here seven years with no neighborhood friends. Living close to people is no guarantee of friends. Our friends are from activities and we make an effort to see them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 :iagree: We live in a neighborhood. My children have just recently started playing with the renters next door. Otherwise, we've been here seven years with no neighborhood friends. Living close to people is no guarantee of friends. Our friends are from activities and we make an effort to see them. :iagree: There are kids diagonally across the street from us in the subsidized housing apartments. Right now the kids are mostly skater boyz. But when we moved here there were other/younger kids. Each and every one of them refused to make friends with dd. Classic reverse snobbery. It was so shocking. So, no, being in town/neighborhood is no guarantee of friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Or you could choose to be anti-social and like it...like I do. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 i wonder if they've read anne of green gables? or little house on the prairie? or any of the books where folks live mainly on acreage. i might try "well, we could keep living in a trailer park in minus 30C weather with wolf having a huge commute, or we can live here, in the midst of God's beauty, where he just has to walk out the door, and can come home for lunch. here, the kids can run and play. there will be neighbors, ones who share our values. yes, its a choice. we think its a good one for us". but if its family asking, a simple, "well, we'll wait and see." or "its like living at the cottage. didn't you ever wish you could just live there?" fwiw, we live on only twenty acres at the end of a Very Long Dirt Road. people come and see us all the time. people come for an afternoon or for a week. but i do drive a lot too, even with an arm that doesn't work so well, and hurts like hades when it tries. (they keep promising me a new one, but telling me i'm not old enough.) sigh... but i'd rather do that than live in town. way rather. it did take some adjusting when we moved. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 And this is their business...why???? We live *out*...but really only about 15-20 min. drive from town. We go to church and my kids have friends there that they do stuff with, often on Sunday evenings they ALL go to a park in the town and play soccer or tennis, etc. with ANYONE who walks up and wants to play so they meet lots of kids that way. We are in a band/choir program so they meet kids that way. The thing is, even if they didn't...I don't get this attitude that it's horrible. I went to public school. One year, my schedule was such that I basically ate lunch alone because I barely had time to sniff it. My bus ride was so long that by the time I got home, it was dinner, homework, bed, rinse and repeat. :lol: No, I did not socialize on the bus. I tried to not even make EYE CONTACT with people on the bus! :lol: We went to church and I had friends there, but I don't remember us all doing lots of stuff together any more than my kids do...because we all had homework and jobs! These kinds of questions are ridiculous to me. Ok, new socialization ? has come up. Was happily sharing news about our new move coming up. Was quizzed on if it's a move to a bigger city, will the kids have the opp to make friends, etc, etc, etc. Well...no. It's moving INTO a park. Like...in the park. Not a town, neighbourhood, etc. We'll have conservation officers for neighbours, and that's all. I explained that we're looking into swim lessons, riding lessons, 4H for Diva, and still plan for the kids to attend Sunday school. How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We live half an hour from a grocery store, 45 from Walmart/Target/etc. We moved here 18 months ago, and up until now DS attended public school. Honestly, I don't want him "socializing" with any of the kids in his class anyway. ;) DS isn't a really big social creature to begin with, neither am I. We go to church on Sunday and he has youth group on Wednesday. I am also looking at getting involved in a couple homeschooling groups in the area for additional socializing when needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Ok, new socialization ? has come up. Was happily sharing news about our new move coming up. Was quizzed on if it's a move to a bigger city, will the kids have the opp to make friends, etc, etc, etc. Well...no. It's moving INTO a park. Like...in the park. Not a town, neighbourhood, etc. We'll have conservation officers for neighbours, and that's all. I explained that we're looking into swim lessons, riding lessons, 4H for Diva, and still plan for the kids to attend Sunday school. How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? :iagree: You'll make new friends, most likely in 4H, who are country kids. Pretty soon going to the city and town friends you'll hear, "I don't want to go there, it's boring. All we do is sit around and talk or play indoors." :001_smile: I highly recommend 4H. There's a huge learning curve with it. But if you get one of the leaders to come along side you and mentor you through it it's a blast! Learning by doing is their motto. And it's learning real life skills in all areas of life, hands-on, leadership, community. Find out from your local extension office if there's a homeschool group. Get involved in that one. Our experience is that the homeschool group is more active. Hard stuff moving so close to the beginning of the year. But it'll be worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Nobody has ever asked me that sort of thing, but then most the people in the area don't live in town. You couldn't pay me to live in town again. I like being able to be more choosy on who my kids spend time with. I won't count the extra kids that I watch as their socializing, but beyond that I have a family either come by for a meal and a visit or to drop their kids off a couple times a week. Beyond that they have their church activities and extra curricular activities. Most the people I have over are people that they know from those places because then they are building relationships with kids they see in a variety of places. The joy of letting my kids run holler and explore their world is worth more to me than neighbors who are so close they can look in my window. Being able to let my kids explore the trees with the dogs and come home with jars full of treasures on a daily basis is pretty fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I don't hear this too much as living rurally is not all that uncommon here. I find it ridiculous as there are still many options. I try not to be too defensive as well as there are plenty around here that really don't take their kids out to do anything at all. I have an acquaintance and if her kids get to go to the store with her once a week that is a special treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 The last house we lived in was just enough out that we had no real neighbors and no friends in walking distance. When we moved to a more typical suburban area in a neighborhood with lots of kids, we eagerly anticipated friendships. Didn't happen. My daughter couldn't connect with the girls in our 'hood - no common interests at all. My son had one friend around the corner but they are diverging as they get older. So, friendships still require driving! You have an extra challenge in that you don't drive. But most likely people will be more than happy to come to you! Sounds like you have a great location. When we lived out of town, everyone came to our house because we had the biggest yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 My dc were in 4 H when they were 5, you can do it as a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 My kids are each others best friends. We also are active in a church and with cubscouts. I worried a little till last year when we went to family camp for a week, my unsocialized kids were no where to be found all week. Seems the are better at making friends than me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Seems the are better at making friends than me. My kids are as well. We don't do a ton compared to others but there are plenty of opportunties out there. Cubscouts has been great for ds and I'm looking forward to American Heritage Girls for dd1 starting this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I'll be honest, it's been challenging for us since we moved to the country. We moved from one of the top school districts (wealthy) in the city to one of the lowest districts (impoverished). Our nearest neighbor in walking distance is my mother. There are no other kids around. However, activities in the city were expensive and restricted. Here they are cheaper and they try to open them up to all the kids. My kids participate in Children's Theatre, soccer, karate, cheerleading, etc. I think church will allow you a good chance to meet people and they will happily come to your house. It takes some work, but it's not impossible. I think you'll love it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 How about, "Laura Ingalls Wilder seemed pretty well adjusted." Also, I saw a tee online the other day with a horrified 50's mom on it saying, "Oh, no! I forgot to socialize the children!" Want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We're not completely rural, but we don't have a "go out and find friends in the street" neighborhood. We have a car. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 That's why we have so many kids of our own - so they'll have somebody to play with. LOL, j/k... We live in the boonies & my kids socialize with lots of other kids through church & sports. They get just enough socialization to give them a few close friends and not too many unsavory ones. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 How about, "Laura Ingalls Wilder seemed pretty well adjusted." Also, I saw a tee online the other day with a horrified 50's mom on it saying, "Oh, no! I forgot to socialize the children!" Want. :iagree:I need that tshirt for christmas activities with the inlaws. Do you have a link? We live out and dd7 has coop and Kumon, church and other activities to give her an opportunity to socialize. Just a thought on the driving issue, how soon will Diva be able to get her license? That will probably help some in a few years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I do think it is harder in the rural country than the city but wow, is it worth is. I watch my kids hug their ducks and rabbits and just smile. Also, my kids are each other's best friends beyond a doubt. We have friends out here but we do have to make a bigger effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Ds9 plays with his friends at church on Wednesdays and Sundays, interacts with people when he goes to the library, to parks, to museums, music lessons, plays sports, etc....and actually, I think since we moved into the country, they have more interaction with neighbors and friends. When we lived in town, I was afraid to let them wander very far and we certainly didn't have friendly neighbors. Out here they can explore the woods, run into the most eccentric Mr. Hargrove who always wears a safari hat and appears out of the trees like an apparition, talk to another neighbor about her horses (and occasionally help out in her stables), and play with another neighbor's miniature collie, Duke, who likes to follow ds9 everywhere. (When his owners let him out.) "Socialization" is an overused and abused term. Spending the day with your peers is being "socialized?" If anything, it seems that being exposed to a variety of ages and circumstances would be superior "socialization." socialization-- noun 1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. When people drop this word in conversation with me, I think to myself that they've been brainwashed and they don't even know what they're asking. :tongue_smilie: I keep saying "they", but the girls are privately schooled now. I only have ds9 at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 http://www.zazzle.com/forgot_the_socialization_tshirts-235821468146714289 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vettechmomof2 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I just tell people I do not worry about it at all and smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Most people we are in contact with also live further out so it's never a concern. People HAVE told us we live waaaaaay "out there" but I point out that they are usually further away, just on a paved road with neighbors.:001_smile: we are really conveniently close to everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? I don't engage in conversations like that. That's how I deal with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I don't engage in conversations like that. That's how I deal with them. :iagree: At the most it's a, "we're not worried abiut it. Pass the bean dip," question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 We live 12 miles out of town on acreage, and honestly I've never had anyone ask me that. :confused: We have a car, and we drive to activities. Duh. I think I would look at them like they were daft. :iagree: And you ARE trying very hard to have a car. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? Do these people think you will be locked up inside the park 24/7? :glare: People ask the dumbest questions -- and I don't have a lot of patience for dumb questions, so I think I'd just say that we manage just fine, and change the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Ok, new socialization ? has come up. Was happily sharing news about our new move coming up. Was quizzed on if it's a move to a bigger city, will the kids have the opp to make friends, etc, etc, etc. Well...no. It's moving INTO a park. Like...in the park. Not a town, neighbourhood, etc. We'll have conservation officers for neighbours, and that's all. I explained that we're looking into swim lessons, riding lessons, 4H for Diva, and still plan for the kids to attend Sunday school. How do the families that live on acreages/rural areas manage well meaning folks asking about stuff like this? I just pointed out that we have opportunities to play with other kids, through sports, co-op, playgroups, etc. To me, it is GREAT to live in a non-neighborhood lot. We have complete control over who will play with our kids because we have to bring them here on purpose; no awful neighbor kids who keep pestering! :001_smile: Honestly, some people will never see it this way. My SIL thinks we're aliens or hermits. *shrugs* I didn't care for her parenting approach, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 We have always lived out of town by about 10 minutes, in a small subdivision of 8 homes set on about 30 acres combined. There are no kids available to play with. There was a time, early on, when I felt bad about it. As the kids are growing older, I see it as a huge blessing. No neighbor kids to drop in unannounced, or to develop those uncomfortable situations with where you hide behind curtains hoping they'll just go away :lol: Having 5 kids makes a difference, they all play with each other and are never bored. I am very glad we have a bit larger family with homeschooling. Of course we drive into town for activities (every single one is gone at the moment at a couple of different activities). It's not a big deal once you get used to it...and maybe if your kids don't know any different. Moving out after being in town might b a lot harder. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 I don't engage in conversations like that. That's how I deal with them. :iagree: Wise and concise response. Really it causes less stress in life when you refuse to defend or explain reasonable choices you make. By the way, I thought that in Canada, you had to be employed by park service or operate a business in park to live inside park. I did learn years ago that one cannot purchase a house in Banff National Park unless they meet one of those two requirements. It's probably more complicated than that. Maybe that rule only applies to national parks, not provincial parks? Either way, it will be cool to live in a park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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