Dear Neighbor Child . . .

[jelbe5]

Please do not keep knocking on my door if I don't answer it.

 

I am in my grubbies, knee-deep in cleaning and decluttering and I can't get to the door anyway . . . and my kids can't play since they are helping me.

 

That is all.

[yslek]

We had one of those once. :glare: I feel for you. :tongue_smilie:

[Chris in VA]

Can you hang a sign? Can you call the parents?

How frustrating!

[ForeverFamily]

:lol::lol::lol:

 

ETA: Sorry I had to chuckle when I saw this post, because I can completely relate! It is also frustrating, sorry I have no solutions to fix this but I do sympathize with your situation.

Edited August 3, 2012 by ForeverFamily

[QuirkyKapers]

Been there. Done that. Not fun. Here is what I know:

*If I don't answer the first three times you knock, please don't come back in 10 minutes and re-knock.

*Going to the other door and knocking doesn't change the fact that no one answered the first time.

*Knocking for more than 5 minutes is just rude.

*Looking in the windows is totally off limits :glare:

[PeacefulChaos]

We have those, too!

I've actually told them they are NOT allowed to knock on our door.. Period. :D So I guess I'm the mean neighbor mom. They get popsicles from my kids when they DO go out every day, though, so hopefully not too mean...

[Guest]

:D Reason #14,792 that I'm totally happy not having neighbors.

[Ghee]

Been there. Done that. Not fun. Here is what I know:

*If I don't answer the first three times you knock, please don't come back in 10 minutes and re-knock.

*Going to the other door and knocking doesn't change the fact that no one answered the first time.

*Knocking for more than 5 minutes is just rude.

*Looking in the windows is totally off limits :glare:

 

Oh my, did you by our old house? When we lived in St Louis, there was a little boy about 3 houses down who did that all the time. Picture it. Christmas morning, 2002. My parents had driven up and we were enjoying our first Christmas with 2 children...suddenly this weird look comes over my mother's face and she says "Is that....a face behind your Christmas tree?!" I look and, sure enough, there he stands. :glare: He was out unsupervised, at four years old, all the time.

[Mommyfaithe]

How about....sure come on in, but we are all cleaning and can use all the help we can get...so here is the broom and dustpan...you can sweep up the kitchen, and when you are done, the mop is here.

 

Hmmmmmm.....the neighborhood kids know we all help in this house, and if they are going to hang out and bug me at the door, they can come on in and help!

 

I provide the ice tea and snacks when we are done:D

[6wishes]

Oh, and do they ever knock and run away? Ours do that too-even when the kids aren't home. It's worse when they are, we won't let them outside, and they try to do it to us again and again. :tongue_smilie:

[Flowing Brook]

Your neighbor child knocks? We had a little neighbor girl once that would walk in our house without knocking. Then act like she did not understand when we told her it was not a good time:glare:

[Alicia64]

I've been on both sides of this. My son was knocking on a neighbor's door and bothering them -- and the adults never said a word to me about it. We live in apts. and it bugged me that my friend didn't say something. The father finally exploded at my son -- and he was totally inappropriate about it. I'm not excusing my son's behavior, but if an adult had told me I would have stopped what he was doing.

 

To fix the knocking problem, I hang a sign on my door saying, "No knocking, kids can play at 4 p.m." or whatever.

 

If kids are continually coming to the door -- this seems like the obvious solution.

 

Alley

[Reflections]

Gently I ask - does this child do it all the time or was this a one time thing? Would it really have been so much trouble to answer the door and let the child know you all could play later but just not now?

 

My son loves to play with the little girl down the street and he has gone over at THEIR appointed time and they have STILL not answered the door and my son has come home in tears - hicupping, racking tears. And no, he was not pestering them, I would not allow that to happen. But he had been waiting all day for me to give him the go ahead and go on over to ask to play.

[jelbe5]

:lol:

 

Thanks ladies!

 

This child does not do this on a regular basis . . . it was just bad timing today. She tends to play with others in the neighborhood and when there is no one else then she comes knocking.

 

And I literally could not get to my front door since I had stacked stuff in front of it as I was moving things around. I was too lazy to go out the back to talk to her.

 

I was just taking a declutter break and posted . . . some good ideas on how to handle this in the future . . . and some :eek: stories . . . especially the one with the child who just walked in without knocking . . .

[Harriet Vane]

Gently I ask - does this child do it all the time or was this a one time thing? Would it really have been so much trouble to answer the door and let the child know you all could play later but just not now?

 

 

:iagree:

 

It's rude to just ignore. I don't see why you cannot take two minutes to answer.

 

I say this having lived for fourteen years in a VERY challenging, lower-income city neighborhood. Kids knocked on my door. If they knocked too often, I cheerfully explained about knocking manners and what would be nice. If they did it again, I cheerfully explained again. In time, they were trained, and no one ever had reason to feel hurt or rejected by me or my family.

[PeacefulChaos]

See, our neighbor kid (not the OP) comes and knocks, and if we say later he comes back in 20-30 minutes. :glare:

If we say after lunch, he knocks at 12.

He knocks before I get out of bed sometimes, and that is the only time that no one answers. I'm not getting out of bed to answer my door in a bathrobe to tell a kid to come back later. Granted, I wouldn't answer the door for ANYONE early in the morning - I think it's rude to go knocking on doors that early unless they know you're coming (like FIL coming to pick up the air compressor the other day - at least I knew in advance! :lol: )

[besroma]

Please do not keep knocking on my door if I don't answer it.

 

I am in my grubbies, knee-deep in cleaning and decluttering and I can't get to the door anyway . . . and my kids can't play since they are helping me.

 

That is all.

 

:lol: Maybe you should make a sign with this inscribed on it and sell it on etsy. I would buy it! :lol:

 

I completely understand how you feel. We have 22 kids on our cul de sac of 8 houses. They are sweet kids, but we homeschool throughout the summer and all of the ps kids knock on our door throughout the day. I know they are lonely and want to play, but it is so hard to keep our kids focused when the other kids are knocking or pressing their faces against the glass to look in.

 

I don't get angry about it, but sometimes wish I had a "Do Not Disturb" sign to hang on the door...

Edited August 4, 2012 by besroma

[CupOCoffee]

Red circle = NO knocking on our door

 

Green circle = you may knock

 

We have construction paper circles we magnet to our front door. ALL the kids know that if the red circle is showing, no knocking. If green circle is showing, knock away! We did the colors so that non readers would get it. We gathered all the kids together one time (while we were all out playing with OUR huge bag of outside toys) and explained it. Had a few "I forgots" but now works like a charm.

[besroma]

Red circle = NO knocking on our door

 

Green circle = you may knock

 

We have construction paper circles we magnet to our front door. ALL the kids know that if the red circle is showing, no knocking. If green circle is showing, knock away! We did the colors so that non readers would get it. We gathered all the kids together one time (while we were all out playing with OUR huge bag of outside toys) and explained it. Had a few "I forgots" but now works like a charm.

 

GREAT idea!

[Spy Car]

:iagree:

 

It's rude to just ignore. I don't see why you cannot take two minutes to answer.

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Totally freaking weird!

 

What is wrong with you people?

 

Bill

[Jpoy85]

:lol:

[KungFuPanda]

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Totally freaking weird!

 

What is wrong with you people?

 

Bill

 

Spoken like someone who has never created a minefield while trying to deep clean. I'll bet you answer the phone, whether you want to or not, JUST because it's ringing. :D

 

Yes, I've hidden from the Jehovah's witnesses and the gutter cleaning guys.

[OnTheBrink]

I don't think it's particularly rude to not answer the door. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm obligated to stop what I'm doing and answer the door. Maybe I'm very busy. Maybe I'm sleeping. Maybe I'm showering. Maybe I've just had surgery and getting up and down is painful. Nine times out of ten, if someone's knocking on my door, they're A) unexpected and uninvited and B) trying to sell me something from security systems to their religion. Frankly, I find that far more rude than not answering a door simply because someone's knocking on it.

[Spy Car]

I don't think it's particularly rude to not answer the door. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm obligated to stop what I'm doing and answer the door. Maybe I'm very busy. Maybe I'm sleeping. Maybe I'm showering. Maybe I've just had surgery and getting up and down is painful. Nine times out of ten, if someone's knocking on my door, they're A) unexpected and uninvited and B) trying to sell me something from security systems to their religion. Frankly, I find that far more rude than not answering a door simply because someone's knocking on it.

 

It was the kid next door. And it is unbelievably rude.

 

I think some of you all have some serious social problems. Good grief!

 

Bill

[happi duck]

Y'all are making me miss when we lived in a neighborhood with kids! (Really!)

 

Here's my fav story from when we did live in an area with kids:

 

dh would leave for work while we were asleep

one morning he didn't lock the door

I woke to the neighbor boy looking at me!

[jengjohnson]

When our little neighbor was 4 or 5, he would not be ignored. He once pulled a patio chair to a window and opened the window so he could holler for us. I learned to answer him on the first knock. We got back to business faster that way.

 

I do know what you mean though. Often when I'm planning a serious cleaning day I don't shower and put on some old falling-apart pajamas. I hate answering the door that way.

[catz]

It was the kid next door. And it is unbelievably rude.

 

I think some of you all have some serious social problems. Good grief!

 

Bill

 

Are you kidding me!? I generally answer my door unless I'm really not appropriately dressed and even in those cases I often let a kid answer and go scramble for something. But it isn't a stretch for me to imagine not answering the door if you are not expecting someone and the timing is bad. Or you have an annoying neighbor child who is not willing to follow your rules. I have NO problem being very rude and short for sales people and people looking for money. Some of those probably wished I wouldn't have answered.

 

Anyway, just because someone handles a situation differently from you doesn't mean they have social problems. :confused: Maybe they just have a situation you haven't encountered.

 

FTR I live urban and love having many close neighbors.

[kalanamak]

 

Yes, I've hidden from the Jehovah's witnesses and the gutter cleaning guys.

 

And sometimes I'm so sweaty and unkempt, you don't want to see me. Plus up until I got my post-pregnancy body, I always ran around the house nude. My ex quickly learned to "call ahead" when he was bringing people over.

 

(When I stopped, I told my mother I didn't become "more ladylike" (she sometimes asked when this even would happen) but just appalled.)

[Harriet Vane]

I am going to stand by my statement that it is rude. Obviously, though, if someone has just had surgery or is sleeping those can be the rare exception.

 

I mentioned that I lived in a challenging neighborhood in the city. I specifically dealt with really persistent kids, either ringing my doorbell too much or playing on my porch when I was not out there with them. In both cases I consistently explained my rules, and the kids--MANY kids over many years--were trained, and learned neighborly manners in the process. I also had a LOT of JW missionaries at my door--perspiring men in full suits on hot summer days or church ladies dressed to the nines, aching in their pumps but trying their best to do what they felt God wanted them to do. I was able to be polite and send them on their way in short order as well. I also dealt with drunk or drug-addicted people at my door begging for work or money. A firm but smiling response was sufficient to send them on their way.

 

It is not that hard to smilingly, firmly lay those boundaries. Some folks need more repetition and clearer instruction than others. I have been able to do this successfully with all manner of difficult people, though, at a minimum of time and irritation to all.

[OnTheBrink]

And I'm going to stand by my statement that coming to someone's home uninvited and unexpected is rude, as well. I don't specifically mean children coming to ask if someone can play, but as a general rule. If I know you, call first so I can prepare for your arrival, whether it's putting the pets away, tidying up a bit or throwing on a more presentable shirt. If I don't know you, don't expect me to drop everything to listen to your sales pitch.

[Harriet Vane]

And I'm going to stand by my statement that coming to someone's home uninvited and unexpected is rude, as well. I don't specifically mean children coming to ask if someone can play, but as a general rule. If I know you, call first so I can prepare for your arrival, whether it's putting the pets away, tidying up a bit or throwing on a more presentable shirt. If I don't know you, don't expect me to drop everything to listen to your sales pitch.

 

Awwww . . . we usually agree. This might be a first for us.

 

I wonder if this is somewhat culturally or regionally driven?

 

I would agree that it is best to call first. That's a common courtesy that should be extended when possible. It doesn't bother me when the call doesn't happen, though.

 

I came from an unhappy family. I am grateful specifically to my youth pastor and to some other kind families who were so very, very welcoming to me. Some of these kind people did also teach me and set boundaries with me at times, and I am grateful that they took the time to do so. As such, I am willing to extend that same grace to clueless kids knocking on my door. I am comfortable setting boundaries and training.

 

For the sales calls, there is always the option of putting up a No Soliciting sign. Most of the people who knocked on my door in Chicago were either kids, JW missionaries, or down-and-out people looking for money or a bit of work. Most of the those people would pay no attention to a sign anyway (except the missionaries).

[annandatje]

:iagree:

 

It's rude to just ignore. I don't see why you cannot take two minutes to answer.

 

I say this having lived for fourteen years in a VERY challenging, lower-income city neighborhood. Kids knocked on my door. If they knocked too often, I cheerfully explained about knocking manners and what would be nice. If they did it again, I cheerfully explained again. In time, they were trained, and no one ever had reason to feel hurt or rejected by me or my family.

 

:iagree::iagree: We lived in a similar neighborhood for a few years and handled those situations pretty much the same as you. We handled them same way in the better area; actually it was in the better area where a child short on social skills just walked into our house without knocking.

 

If someone knocks and we are home, we answer, but we have no problem with frankly saying no thank you without explanation to people selling beliefs, goods, or services.

[Impish]

I believe the OP did state that she physically couldn't get to her front door.

 

I also agree w/others, that unless I've invited you, I'm not obligated to answer my door just b/c someone knocks. That's the chance you take when you turn up on someone's door step unannounced. *shrug*

[PeacefulChaos]

Who knew that some people were so passionate about whether or not people the door? :lol: :lol:

[Impish]

I should add, that if my kids aren't trampling ea other to get to the door, it's one of 2 things:

1) Wolf's taken the kids out, and I'm home alone

2) It's quiet time.

 

Either way, it means that I'm laying down, and not hauling my hiney outta bed for anything less than screams of pain, fire, or being notified that there's a lot of blood shed.

[Janie Grace]

:iagree:

 

It's rude to just ignore. I don't see why you cannot take two minutes to answer.

 

I say this having lived for fourteen years in a VERY challenging, lower-income city neighborhood. Kids knocked on my door. If they knocked too often, I cheerfully explained about knocking manners and what would be nice. If they did it again, I cheerfully explained again. In time, they were trained, and no one ever had reason to feel hurt or rejected by me or my family.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't understand ignoring anyone who is knocking on my door. I think it's part of being a nice neighbor to answer it and explain whether we are or aren't available. I wouldn't answer if I was throwing up or something, but otherwise... is it that much trouble?

[fairy4tmama]

Red circle = NO knocking on our door

 

Green circle = you may knock

 

We have construction paper circles we magnet to our front door. ALL the kids know that if the red circle is showing, no knocking. If green circle is showing, knock away! We did the colors so that non readers would get it. We gathered all the kids together one time (while we were all out playing with OUR huge bag of outside toys) and explained it. Had a few "I forgots" but now works like a charm.

:iagree: yep, here too, this works most of the time. I occasionally get a knock or two but I just gently remind them to follow the sign.

Edited August 4, 2012 by fairy4tmama

[jujsky]

It was the kid next door. And it is unbelievably rude.

 

I think some of you all have some serious social problems. Good grief!

 

Bill

 

I find it less rude than answering the door sweaty, disgusting, grubby, and foul-tempered that I was interrupted in the middle of cleaning/decluttering. THAT would be rude. Being the neighbor kid, I wouldn't have minded so much, provided that I wasn't so overwhelmed with mountains of crap that I could reach the door. If I don't know someone, I may or may not answer. Something to also keep in mind is that the majority of posters here are women home alone during the day with children. If it's a man I don't know, I most definitely will not answer the door, or if I do, I step out onto my porch while yelling, "Back, you savages!" at my two German Shepherds, make a show like I'm struggling to shut them in the house, and THEN turn to the strange man who usually appears slightly worried at that point. I don't consider keeping myself and my children safe the same thing as having a social problem. I might have a problem with watching too many real-life murder shows that have me unnecessarily freaked out over answering the door to strangers, but socially I'm just peachy ;)

[QuirkyKapers]

Who knew that some people were so passionate about whether or not people the door? :lol: :lol:

 

I am surprised too! Since I also indicated I don't always answer the door, I will give some explanations. I don't think I have social problems nor do I think it is rude to not always answer the door.:tongue_smilie:

 

If my kids aren't home and I have sat down to lesson plan or read a book, I am under no obligation to pop up and answer the door.

 

Also, we have many, many kids in the neighborhood, someone used to be knocking at our door every 30 minutes. When I do answer the door, it is never just a quick conversation. The kids like to talk. Which is fine. I love that they like to talk. However, sometimes I don't have the energy to deal with these conversations. Especially since my dh travels a lot and I am holding down the fort at home. I also have talked to the kids so they know if we don't answer, we aren't home or not available. They are fine with this. We aren't having these issues like we were a few years ago. The kids know. Last, I am not the only parent who has these rules. It is common practice in our neighborhood. Many times, my children go over, knock on the door, we know the neighbors are home, and the door is not answered. I tell my kids, knock, than wait. If no answer, you may knock one more time. No answer, leave and come home. Don't know if it really matters why I don't always answer my door or not, but I do think it is interesting the varied opinions about it :)

[kalanamak]

Who knew that some people were so passionate about whether or not people the door? :lol: :lol:

 

Don't start on shoes in the house or what one does with shopping carts, either.

[Spy Car]

I find it less rude than answering the door sweaty, disgusting, grubby, and foul-tempered that I was interrupted in the middle of cleaning/decluttering. THAT would be rude. Being the neighbor kid, I wouldn't have minded so much, provided that I wasn't so overwhelmed with mountains of crap that I could reach the door. If I don't know someone, I may or may not answer. Something to also keep in mind is that the majority of posters here are women home alone during the day with children. If it's a man I don't know, I most definitely will not answer the door, or if I do, I step out onto my porch while yelling, "Back, you savages!" at my two German Shepherds, make a show like I'm struggling to shut them in the house, and THEN turn to the strange man who usually appears slightly worried at that point. I don't consider keeping myself and my children safe the same thing as having a social problem. I might have a problem with watching too many real-life murder shows that have me unnecessarily freaked out over answering the door to strangers, but socially I'm just peachy ;)

 

It wasn't scary strangers at the door. It was a little neighbor child. A person can't take a second to answer the door? It is really an unkind way to treat a child.A

 

Bill

Edited August 4, 2012 by Spy Car

[Ravin]

I'd probably answer the door and let him know what's going on, offer to let him come spend time with your kids if he wants to chip in, and if not a specific time it would be acceptable for him to come back to play.

[Reflections]

It wasn't scary strangers at the door. It was a little neighbor child. A person can't take a second to answer the door? It is really an unkind way to treat a child.A

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

[cin]

:D Reason #14,792 that I'm totally happy not having neighbors.

 

And reason 14,793 that we are moving 'to the country'.

 

 

It wasn't scary strangers at the door. It was a little neighbor child. A person can't take a second to answer the door? It is really an unkind way to treat a child.A

 

Bill

 

Trust me Bill, if I answered the door looking and feeling as she described, the child would be in therapy for the rest of his life. In addition, she (like me, when I do serious cleaning) might not be dressed for public viewing. And then there's just the plain fact that she has a right to not answer the door, and the kid DOES need to learn manners. Yes, she could answer, but if she chooses not to the person at the door should respect that.

Edited August 4, 2012 by cin

[Audrey]

:iagree:

 

It's rude to just ignore. I don't see why you cannot take two minutes to answer.

 

I say this having lived for fourteen years in a VERY challenging, lower-income city neighborhood. Kids knocked on my door. If they knocked too often, I cheerfully explained about knocking manners and what would be nice. If they did it again, I cheerfully explained again. In time, they were trained, and no one ever had reason to feel hurt or rejected by me or my family.

 

:iagree: I tend to feel more sympathy for the kid in these situations though. Sometimes, I think adults forget what it's like to be a lonely little kid just looking for a bit of companionship.

[Audrey]

It wasn't scary strangers at the door. It was a little neighbor child. A person can't take a second to answer the door? It is really an unkind way to treat a child.A

 

Bill

:iagree: it's a kid. What's so hard about cutting a little kid some slack?

[Renthead Mommy]

Okay, I feel for the kid who is probably just looking for someone to play with. However not answering the door is really not a good plan. Granted in this case the OP knew it was a neighbor kid. But often people will ring bells under the false peretense of selling or sign something, when really they are just looking to see who is home. Ever been in your own house while someone is trying to break in? Not a good feeling. I'd certainly rather stop what I'm doing, answer the door rather than let someone think we were not home. Especially now that I'm home all day with a kid.

[Reflections]

Last year the neighbor kid knocked on my door while I was nursing, and I was in my crubbies and my house was a disaster; not to mention that we were also in the middle of our school day that had started late and my ds6 was crying about not being able to play a video game, etc., etc. The LAST thing I wanted to do was answer the door to this kid. I said a few cuss words as I hauled my sorry butt to the door, swung it open, glared at him and said "Hey, it's really not a good time". He said "My mom just called 911 because my grandpa can't breathe. She doesn't know what to do and ....."

 

I felt bad after that I had been so sour to him when I answered the door. I wonder how bad I would have felt if I had not answered the door at all.

 

I don't usually answer the door to strangers either, "that" I understand. But my neighbors aren't strangers.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

But my neighbors aren't strangers.

 

ITA. Well said.

 

Once, the most annoying kid on the street, the one who can never remember the rules about when to knock, came knocking for the umpteenth time that day. Good thing we answered, because it turns out his Mom was very late getting home, he was alone (age 9), and it was starting to storm. He was very scared, and hungry.

 

We barely knew him back then, barely knew his name, but he wasn't a stranger. He was from our neighborhood; a neighbor. He was invited in to eat with my boys and be with us, and my oldest ds ran down the road to put a note on the door for his Mom about where he was.

 

He came here when he was in trouble because I'm a Mom with kids. Moms with kids are supposed to be the safest people in society. Neighbors are the people you ask for help if you need help. That is the world I want to live in, so I open the door for kids and neighbors.

[cdrumm4448]

I generally open the door when someone knocks, but if I'm in the middle of something sometimes I don't. I usually always talk to the Jehovah's Witnesses because I like to. They're nice people. But, if they come by on a school day and I'm still in my pajamas, I don't. It's my prerogative as the adult and owner of my house. I wouldn't knock on someone's door and think they were rude if they didn't answer. I would figure they were busy and I dropped by at a bad time.

 

And I'm quite socially skilled, BTW.