itsheresomewhere Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Christmas? Save the date cards came today. I sure hope they have a great wedding. I think it is a destination wedding from the way the card reads. The funny part was calling several people to figure out who this is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 If it was far away I would not want to go. We are Christmas freaks here :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsanniep Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I think of holiday weddings as tactical manuevers. You invite people at a time when most people can't make it. This means you spend less money on your wedding reception and still bring in the same amount of gifts. Assuming, of course, that people who can't attend still send a gift of some sort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 How odd. If it's a destination wedding, maybe they are counting on a lot of people not being able to make it? You'd think they'd do it a few days before Christmas if they only had that holiday window. Maybe they got a really good deal on a venue! I bet there wasn't much competition for Christmas Eve. We had ours the weekend before Thanksgiving, but that's because we were still in college at the time. It was either that or Christmas break. We couldn't *wait* any longer. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I've always thought a Christmas wedding would be lovely. Then I remember the divorce rate and I wonder why anyone would like to ruin Christmas like that. And what widow wants to celebrate Christmas/anniversary? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyMommy Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 That is odd. DH and I got married over Memorial Day weekend, but that was because it was the only time he was pretty sure he could get off (and he still almost missed it!). No way would I have done a destination wedding or something like that over a holiday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I've always thought a Christmas wedding would be lovely. Then I remember the divorce rate and I wonder why anyone would like to ruin Christmas like that. And what widow wants to celebrate Christmas/anniversary? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted July 26, 2012 Author Share Posted July 26, 2012 The photo shows somewhere tropical. I don't travel at Christmas. I love Christmas and to use what the PP said- we are christmas freaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get married on Christmas but close...12/18/1999 :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom23Boys Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get married on Christmas but close...12/18/1999 :D We share the exact same anniversary ~ year and all. I loved getting married then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkygirl Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Our Wedding was December 20 we chose this date because I absolutely love Christmas and really wanted that home style charm at our wedding. It also coincided with a mandatory training class for work that was only an hour away from where my fiancé and step kids were living while I was stationed 2,000 miles away. I wouldn't immediately jump to the assumption that they are trying to limit their guest list or are gift hungry. DH and I needed to make a decision that was best for us and our life together which involved a quick wedding plan at a holiday time and had nothing to do with pregnancy which was offensive and I was asked numerous time if that was why we were rushing into getting married as I was not pregnant and the deciding factors for us where being 2,000 miles apart from each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Disclaimer: We got married the week before Christmas because DH was still in school and we didn't want to wait until his next long break in June. Maybe their close friends and family have a break from work and school then, and will be more able to come? If your family is all spread out, then they are going to have to travel no matter where you hold the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in OR Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 We got married four days after Christmas. It coincided with me graduating from college in December and needing to move to another state to where my fiancee was in the middle of seminary. We did choose a location where many of my relatives live, so the travel wasn't terrible for them. Upsides of the choice: the church was beautifully decorated from Christmas and the couple of photos we did outside were gorgeous with the snow background. Erica in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get married on Christmas but close...12/18/1999 :D different year, but we're December 18 too. I was teaching and it was the first weekend after school finished for the year. It's interesting how many teachers have that date as their anniversary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My brother and his wife got married the day before Thanksgiving, but that was so that everyone in our very large family could be there. Perhaps they are trying to insure people will be on break and have an opportunity to come, instead of people not having the time off or having to spend their vacation days on their wedding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I actually like the idea. They can be reasonably sure that the guests have vacation and lots of people travel to the tropics for Christmas. I remember in my temping days, one of the key managers was having a meltdown because it was early November and he couldn't get a flight to Hawaii for the week before Christmas--all the seats were sold out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted July 26, 2012 Author Share Posted July 26, 2012 Disclaimer: We got married the week before Christmas because DH was still in school and we didn't want to wait until his next long break in June. Maybe their close friends and family have a break from work and school then, and will be more able to come? If your family is all spread out, then they are going to have to travel no matter where you hold the wedding. I truthfully have no idea who these people are. I have never met them and DH meet the mom of this couple when he was 5. My SIL asked what are they doing with people with kids. Well, so far there between SIL and my family- 8 off the guest list. Question- Do you send a present for people you don't know? I tend to not. DH doesn't care either way. SIL will only send one if they have extra money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I truthfully have no idea who these people are. I have never met them and DH meet the mom of this couple when he was 5. My SIL asked what are they doing with people with kids. Well, so far there between SIL and my family- 8 off the guest list. Question- Do you send a present for people you don't know? I tend to not. DH doesn't care either way. SIL will only send one if they have extra money. That part seems odder than the wedding date. No, if I wouldn't recognize the bride or groom if I saw them on the street, I wouldn't send a present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 A friend of mine chose December 23rd for her wedding because neither she nor her fiance were Christians and they were able to get a big discount on the package because nobody else wanted the date. It was a way for her to have a big wedding on a modest budget. I wasn't super-happy about traveling right before Christmas, but I understood why she did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get married on Christmas but close...12/18/1999 :D We share the exact same anniversary ~ year and all. I loved getting married then! Dh and I got married on the 17th that year :D. We love having our anniversary during Christmas season. We also had a cousin get married on the 23rd. It was great as we have to travel from all over the country and had fun celebrating Christmas together that year. With that said, the 24th would be tough for me because that is when we start our 48 hour Christmas celebration. Even with the wedding on the 23rd, we were able to celebrate Christmas on the 24th & 25th. We would probably attend a destination wedding at Christmas for a close relative, but no one else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I truthfully have no idea who these people are. I have never met them and DH meet the mom of this couple when he was 5. My SIL asked what are they doing with people with kids. Well, so far there between SIL and my family- 8 off the guest list. Question- Do you send a present for people you don't know? I tend to not. DH doesn't care either way. SIL will only send one if they have extra money. No. I don't send a present to people I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get married on Christmas but close...12/18/1999 :D 12/16/95 here. We picked it because it was after my husband would graduate but before starting work and going into a school Christmas Break for me as a teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Another answer as to why - they can save money on church decorations. Most churches will already be decorated for Christmas by then. Then the other ideas given - so people can travel, fewer people there. I wanted to get married around Christmas because I love Christmas. But then my mom talked to me. If I got married at Christmas all my big occasions are at the same time - Christmas, anniversary, my birthday. So we chose Memorial Day weekend instead. I've been happy with our decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefragile7393 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 A friend of mine chose December 23rd for her wedding because neither she nor her fiance were Christians and they were able to get a big discount on the package because nobody else wanted the date. It was a way for her to have a big wedding on a modest budget. I wasn't super-happy about traveling right before Christmas, but I understood why she did it. This. It can be very cheap this time of year because no one wants those days generally. Not everyone celebrates Christmas either. One friend of mine got married on Christmas Eve and stuff was super cheap. We don't do Christmas so it wasn't a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I LOVE Christmas weddings and would have had a Christmas Eve wedding myself if DH hadn't hated the idea. Christmas is wonderful, everything about it is sparkly and pretty decorated and people already have time off work... Why wouldn't I want the best day of my life at the best time of the year? As for the invite, the couple probably gave a certain amount of invitations to the parents, and they invited everyone they consider family friends AND their children. That wouldn't be unusual in my circle. I've been to lots of weddings where I knew no one there at all except my own family. Technically, if someone invited you to a wedding you are obligated to get them a present. Of course, if you don't want to, and you don't know them, you probably don't care if they think you are rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Christmas? Save the date cards came today. I sure hope they have a great wedding. I think it is a destination wedding from the way the card reads. The funny part was calling several people to figure out who this is. It may be that the date is special to them for some reason, or it could be that they figure that most people take vacations around Christmas and it might be easier for more people to attend? That's just what I was thinking off the top of my head. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My parents got married on the 4th of July and loved it every year. I do think it is a bit hard on her now that my dad is gone, but they were happy with their holiday wedding. I have several married friends who have no kids. The weeks before the holidays mean nothing to them. They already have their shopping done and are looking for things to do during that time. To families, Christmas can seem to take up an entire month. Pageants, programs, projects.... Maybe the days before the holiday really don't mean much to them and they didn't really consider that it would be hard for guests to attend. I would love to travel for the holiday if I didn't have kids who think every year needs to be identical to the last. LOL I was married the week of Valentines. My sister said I was stupid becuase I was reducing future gifts by having the two 'husband' gift holidays too close together. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maus Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 It may be that the date is special to them for some reason, : That was my first thought. I had a teacher in high school who got married December 22 (happens to be my birthday). They choose the date because it was both her father's and her husband-to-be's birthday or something like that, and because she didn't have to take time off for either her wedding or honeymoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My only thought would be if they had relatives that could travel to be with them on Christmas, Or the wedding, but not both. So they combined it. But that wouldn't apply to a destination wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 We have a Dec 22 anniversary, and we were married in a small Catholic church in the U.S. Virgin Islands. We picked that date b/c dh was on break from law school, and I was able to get the week off from my 100% travel job. We received off-season rates which made the trip very affordable for us. It was a great date and wonderful wedding. It still makes me smile. :001_smile: We didn't invite anyone, and we didn't ask them if they were offended about any of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Technically, if someone invited you to a wedding you are obligated to get them a present. Of course, if you don't want to, and you don't know them, you probably don't care if they think you are rude. According to whom? I'm pretty sure the only obligation attached to a wedding invitation has to do with the RSVP. Gifts are always voluntary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Off the top of my head; One or both of them have specific windows for time off. Maybe one of them is a teacher and getting married someplace tropical is more appealing at Christmas than in the summer? Lots of close family or friends who can travel around that time. They are hoping Santa makes an appearance. They got a great deal. They love, love, love Christmas. They really hate Christmas and want something better to celebrate around that time. They don't celebrate Christmas so that particular date doesn't matter to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 According to whom? I'm pretty sure the only obligation attached to a wedding invitation has to do with the RSVP. Gifts are always voluntary. According to every etiquette book I've ever read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I double-checked my books. Miss Manners has always been consistent in her opinion that gifts are never required and no one should feel obligated to buy a present when they aren't going to attend the wedding. Here's a sample answer to a similar question, from The Washington Post: Holiday, Fla.: We've been invited to a wedding celebration for a longtime friend of my husband's family. We aren't planning to attend, and I need to know whether we're obligated to send a present. I don't even like the bride. Miss Manners: You will be relieved to hear that you do not have to send a present, but less so to hear that in addition to your formal letter declining the invitation, you should send a letter wishing the couple happiness. In neither should you mention that you don't even like the bride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 I wanted a Christmas wedding and still think it would be wonderful and still sorta regret that I didn't have one. It was a pointless effort at making peace with my future mil. Everyone who is close enough to really care and want to be there would likely be saved the time and expense of two trips when many have to save for the once a year trip for the holidays. Plus all the possible reasons Mrs. basil mentioned. If you don't know them well enough to know who they are, then I doubt when their wedding would be would make much difference to your attendence.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 According to every etiquette book I've ever read. I always love to learn more about etiquette so I was hoping you would supply a name, book title, or website. As I said, Miss Manners differs with you, and so do the customs of my region of the country. A gift is always nice but never obligatory. 'Round here, we send prompt RSVP's to wedding invitations. If we are close to the couple we attend the wedding if possible, and send (not take) a gift. If we can't go to the wedding but are close to the couple we send a gift. If we don't even know them, really, and they are not relatives or the children of friends or some other fairly close association, we send a nice note and do not attend the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Technically, if someone invited you to a wedding you are obligated to get them a present. Of course, if you don't want to, and you don't know them, you probably don't care if they think you are rude. Nope.... not according to the etiquette gurus either... It is not expected to send gifts to people you do not know, even if they invited you to their wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Question- Do you send a present for people you don't know? I tend to not. DH doesn't care either way. SIL will only send one if they have extra money. You are never obligated to send a wedding present. As long as you RSVP (which means that you tell them either that you're not coming or that you are), you're good to go. I don't care for "destination weddings." You have the wedding at a time and place when most of the people you care about can come, and then you go to the destination for the honeymoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 QUOTE=Tibbie Dunbar;4145574]I always love to learn more about etiquette so I was hoping you would supply a name, book title, or website. As I said, Miss Manners differs with you, and so do the customs of my region of the country. A gift is always nice but never obligatory. 'Round here, we send prompt RSVP's to wedding invitations. If we are close to the couple we attend the wedding if possible, and send (not take) a gift. If we can't go to the wedding but are close to the couple we send a gift. If we don't even know them, really, and they are not relatives or the children of friends or some other fairly close association, we send a nice note and do not attend the wedding. Exactly! If receiving an invitation were indicated social obligation, then gift mongering couples would open the phone book and start sending invites to everyone in their zipcode. The OP indicated that her dh only met the one individual when he was 5 years old and not since then...clearly, no relationship. The wife has never met either of the couple and they are not connected by close family relationship or any other friendship. The whole wedding thing has gotten completely out of hand if invites are going out to people the couple hasn't even met. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Not trying to beat a dead horse, just bored and curious and wondering if Miss Manners is alone in her opinion... I found something from Peggy Post (who is that?) saying that if you are close to the couple and invited to the wedding, it is right to send a gift whether you attend the wedding or not, but no one is obligated to send wedding presents to people they barely know. Here's the Q&A: Not Going, Not Giving I am a professor who is occasionally invited to the weddings of recent students. In almost every case, I do not feel particularly close to them nor do we have anything approaching a friendship. I am known among my colleagues as someone who has managed to maintain a recognizable distinction between my concern for my students as students and an interest in their personal lives. From my students’ perspectives, I imagine, I have played an important role in their intellectual development, and so they wish to include me in their wedding celebrations. It has been my tradition to decline their invitations after I receive them and to send a card with a warm note to the couple closer to the date of the event. But I do not send gifts. In a recent conversation, a friend indicated that people invited to a wedding, whether they attend or not, should send gifts. I am wondering whether this is a rule of etiquette and whether it can be applied with varying degrees of strictness. If it seems that my invitation is more because of my professional role, am I less obligated to send a wedding gift than if I had a friendship with the couple? Anonymous Wisconsin Your friend has cited the traditional guideline for wedding gifts: When invited to a wedding, a gift is sent whether or not the invited guest attends. That’s the black-and-white answer. Ideally, those invited to a wedding are close enough to the couple or their families that they want to send a gift whether they can attend or not. Your situation presents the logical exception to the rule. When someone is not close to the bride or bridegroom, or their families, they may skip the gift when declining the invitation. This is often the case when couples get overly excited and invite to their wedding anyone who was ever important to either of them: the best friend from high school who hasn’t been seen since, but swore a pinky oath to be there on the big day. From your students’ perspective, you have played an important and influential role in their lives, and they wish to honor you. For you, students are turning what was a professional relationship into a social one, and you would prefer not to mix the two. I think you have come up with the perfect solution. Your personal note to the couple is a gift in itself and one that honestly reflects the caring and important role you have played in a student’s life. I’m sure a student would treasure your note as much as a material gift. Extra credit: You get an A+ for sending regrets promptly. It is astonishing how many invited guests fail to respond to invitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Per Emily Post: (http://www.emilypost.com/guests) If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding—please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Here's Emily Post on whether you are obligated to send a gift when you have lost touch with the couple but receive an invitation to the wedding: Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not. There are few exceptions. If you live far away from where the wedding will take place and have been out of touch with the couple for several years, and are not planning to attend the wedding, there's no need to send a gift. So she's the strictest, but still excuses people who don't have any contact with the couple but find themselves presented with a wedding invitation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 We share the exact same anniversary ~ year and all. I loved getting married then! It was a great day! I choose that day because it was on my Christmas break in nursing school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 Per Emily Post:(http://www.emilypost.com/guests) If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding—please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes. If this is your philosophy, be very, very careful not to announce it publicly. You'll be invited to every wedding in your zipcode. Frankly, it doesn't even matter what Miss Manners thinks. What matters it what is appropriate. It is NOT appropriate to send wedding invites to people you do not know. It is even less appropriate to expect a gift from people who should never have been invited in the first place. If the above sentiment ruled the day, there would be people who sent invitations to hundreds of people they've never meant in the hopes of "socially guilting" them into sending gifts or money. That's nuts. An invitation to ANYTHING is not an obligation to attend or to give gifts. Gift giving comes from having a relationship between the giver and the recipient and it is done with joy, not because Miss Manners or any other etiquette book says so. The OP clearly stated they have absolutely no contact with and do not know in any way the couple that sent them the invitation. This is not a situation in which they are beholden to send a gift. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 My guess is because it's a time when most people who are close to the wedding party (family and close friends) have off, and they probably have a lot of schedules to work around -- school, work, etc. Maybe it's a time when their families usually get together anyway, so it just made sense. My daughter was married on December 28. We really didn't want it then, but it's the ONLY time it worked out (between Christmas and New Year's) for even just our immediate family given all of our crazy schedules and activities. We needed several days off since it, too, was a destination wedding -- but out of necessity. (Our daughter was marrying a Costa Rican and it would have been virtually impossible for him or his family to get visas to come up here for the wedding.) But as someone else said, I think the oddest part is that you don't even know them! Especially for a destination wedding, I think I would have had the guest list a small one (close friends and family only) since obviously most people wouldn't be able to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 It is perfectly appropriate to send invitation and or announcements to people you don't know! Good grief. We sent invitations to friends of our parents or grandparents tho neither dh nor I knew them personally. We also sent invitations to extended family neither of us had met. No one has an obligation to attend or give gifts. Ug. This kind of stuff is why I also wanted a Vegas Christmas wedding. Eloping. Avoid all the petty drama over stuff that doesn't matter anyways. Really my mil basically took over the wedding and I let her. I just didn't care about all these things. Still don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 We got married 12/22/95. I loved getting married at that time. The church was decorated, the bridesmaids had some velvet on their dresses, we used Christmas music for part of the wedding. It was lovely. I had just graduated from college and was moving to be with my husband in another city. The timing worked out and I love Christmas, so it was perfect for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 If this is your philosophy, be very, very careful not to announce it publicly. You'll be invited to every wedding in your zipcode. Frankly, it doesn't even matter what Miss Manners thinks. What matters it what is appropriate. It is NOT appropriate to send wedding invites to people you do not know. It is even less appropriate to expect a gift from people who should never have been invited in the first place. If the above sentiment ruled the day, there would be people who sent invitations to hundreds of people they've never meant in the hopes of "socially guilting" them into sending gifts or money. That's nuts. An invitation to ANYTHING is not an obligation to attend or to give gifts. Gift giving comes from having a relationship between the giver and the recipient and it is done with joy, not because Miss Manners or any other etiquette book says so. The OP clearly stated they have absolutely no contact with and do not know in any way the couple that sent them the invitation. This is not a situation in which they are beholden to send a gift. Faith ITA with Faith. I get that times are hard but that doesn't mean the lady you struck up a conversation with at Taco Bell 4 years ago is required to send you a gift for your wedding. The tacky party invitation thing to get a present HAS to stop. That's happened to us twice now. (The sister of someone who babysat three times for our kids sent us a wedding invite was the funniest. I never laid eyes on the sister once.) I didn't even bother RSVPing to that one, I found it that obnoxious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) ... Edited July 26, 2012 by Tibbie Dunbar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dealea86 Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 We got married the week before Christmas, and it was definitely a tactical maneuver - but not one to get more gifts. We did that so the maximum number of family could make it to the wedding, since many people get that time off. We made it a "destination wedding" (though it wasn't anywhere close to exotic... it was in the city my older grandmother lives in) because I'm shy and wanted a small wedding. My mom's personal invitation list was like 200 people. No way. :tongue_smilie: It also meant my grandmothers (both of whom had health problems) didn't have to travel as far, and it made my mom happy because she could invite as many people as she wanted while minimizing the number who would actually show up. Honestly, gifts was the farthest thought from my mind. I hope no one who received an invitation from me thought that.... :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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