Walking-Iris Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I almost never post personal stuff here, but I am curious how others would handle this situation. About 2 weeks ago my dh was pulling out of the drive at night and a truck coming down the road slammed on it's brakes and a 4 wheeler ATV in the bed of that truck rolled forward and went through it's back glass. No one was hurt. Anyway he was real surly and angry even though my dh didn't do any thing. He saw the guy and wasn't even close to being out of the drive. A very typical pulling out, truck coming and waiting scenario. He said he was confused why the guy stopped and didn't really know what had happened. So he gets out to see if he can help and this guy is raging at him because he thought my dh wasn't going to stop. My dh explained that he was stopped. That he did see him. It's almost as if the guy didn't see my dh and by the time he did he *thought* it was too late even though nothing was happening and he over reacted. My dh came in to get the phone because the guy wanted to call his wife and he tells me there's "a nutcase outside" so I go back outside with him to see what was going on. Anyway we both expressed our concern about his ATV rolling into his window and made sure everyone was okay, he had a dd with him, ---even though the damage wasn't *that* bad and the truck was perfectly okay other than the window, I'm sure it was scary, but honestly why the guy stopped so quickly is beyond us. The guy was really making a big to-do about it though. I suspect he may have been feeling a little foolish and embarrassed and a bit stupid for not having his ATV strapped down and started taking it out on us. So then he finally goes on his way. No police called--no insurance passing hands etc etc because there. was. no. accident. Just a crazy guy braking too hard with an unstrapped atv in his truck. Anyway today he knocks on the door---still looking surly and angry. No hello or anything. I answer the door and he says "Remember me?" Pretty creepy. I didn't know him (it was dark that night), but then I realize after a minute. I say "oh yes how are you?" and he hands me a copy of a bill for 326 dollars!!!! :001_huh: My dh comes to the door and we just don't say anything (it's a little weird and shocking kwim)and this guy is going on and on about how he tried to find the cheapest place in town and he can understand if we can't pay all of it and that if half is too much then just what we can do would help and is just overall real creepy. Finally my dh gently reminds him that he had no responsibility considering he was stopped in our drive and the damage to his truck was caused by his own ATV. The guy seriously started looking angry. I wanted him gone so I ask for his name and number and we'll contact him. I didn't know what else to do in the moment. What the h*!!??? I've never had an experience that felt so wrong before. I feel sort of violated. My dh is one of those types who just want to please, he's all for going to the body shop himself, giving them like 60 bucks to credit to the guy's bill and hopefully getting this guy out of our lives. He really did put out a scary vibe. Honestly if police had even been called that night they would have been annoyed for being bothered! My dh didn't do anything that would fault him as a driver at all. The guy damaged his property---with his own property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Call the police saying he is harrassing you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Don't give him $60. Don't give him anything. He sounds like he wouldn't be happy unless it's paid in full. And I'm not a lawyerr, but I think giving him $ implies guilt. I agree with calling the police if he stops by again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Call the police saying he is harrassing you. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 You could call the non-emergency line of the police and ask them what to do. You never know if this might escalate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I'm a bit with your DH on this one. If it were me, I would pay something just to get him out of my face. However, something about this whole thing doesn't feel right and my gut instinct is saying that you shouldn't pay him anything. I think you should contact the police and ask for guidance on this issue. Explain exactly what happened and that this guy seems threatening and that you both are uneasy around him. I'm worried that if you pay anything, then he might come back with medical bills or something else. If the police determine that you aren't at fault, ask them to go talk with him. And then if he shows up again, don't answer the door and call them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Any chance the glass was busted before all the drama? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Don't give him $60. Don't give him anything. He sounds like he wouldn't be happy unless it's paid in full. And I'm not a lawyerr, but I think giving him $ implies guilt. I agree with calling the police if he stops by again. :iagree: I might call the police (office number, not 911) during regular office hours and ask their advice on the situation. And be prepared to call again if he comes back. I don't know, but it seems possible that if your local precinct has a heads-up on the situation, they may be able to respond more quickly/effectively if he comes back and you need the police in a hurry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I wanted to also say that you need to listen to your instinct. If something is telling you that this is "off", figure out why. To me, coming to ask for money at night, when it's hard to identify him before opening the door makes me uneasy about him. Starting a conversation with "Remember me" rather than introducing yourself and shaking hands (especially at night) is an intimidation tactic. At the risk of sounding alarmist, if this happened as your DH was leaving at night, what if this guy came back thinking your DH might not be home? What if he was trying to intimidate you into giving the money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Call the police saying he is harrassing you. :iagree: There is no reason your family should pay anything. If he owns a truck and an ATV, then he should know how to properly secured the two together. If that ATV had hurt anyone else because he did not properly secure it, then he would be responsible for the damage, so he is certainly responsible for the damage to his own truck. Do not pay anything or he could come after you for the full amount in some staes, because you admit guilt by paying some of the damage. That happened to a friend once, being nice does not usually end well in matters like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 You have to go with your gut in something like this, but is it possible this guy is just upset/desperate because he can't afford to get the damage fixed on his own? That he's hoping you'll feel responsible in some way and help cover it? Still crummy of him, but not really creepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I wouldn't pay a dime. His ATV was improperly secured. He stopped, your dh was not pulling out. The reaction and onus is on him. If he stops by again call the police non-emergency number. It may take them explaining that it's his fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Do not pay him anything. That implies guilt, should he decide to sue you later. It would be a lot harder for your dh to say he didn't do anything wrong if he paid part of the bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I wouldn't pay a dime. His ATV was improperly secured. He stopped, your dh was not pulling out. The reaction and onus is on him. If he stops by again call the police non-emergency number. It may take them explaining that it's his fault. :iagree: This. Tell him you're not paying a dime and if he comes on your property again, you'll call the police and have him arrested for trespassing and harassment. If he had his ATV tied down properly, it wouldn't have moved. And your dh isn't responsible for this guy slamming on his brakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would not pay, and I would talk to the police - not to make a complaint, but to see if this guy is on their radar. If they know him, and know that he is unbalanced or dangerous, they will tell you (at least they would around here). The other option would be to pay to pull his records, which you can do online. If someone knows where I live, and makes me feel that creeped out, I want to know what I'm dealing with. I agree with those who say not to give him any money, both for the admitting guilt reason and also b/c any interaction often encourages weird, stalker-ish types. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Also, quit opening your door to strangers! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Call the police saying he is harrassing you. :iagree: I wonder if he had been drinking before he slammed on his brakes . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Do not pay him anything. That implies guilt, should he decide to sue you later. It would be a lot harder for your dh to say he didn't do anything wrong if he paid part of the bill. :iagree:I would call the non-emergency number, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Yup, call the non emergency number. Explain what happened, and that this guy is freaking you out. Give them his phone number and name and they will have a nice chat with him and tell him to leave you alone. If he doesn't leave you alone after that than he is "disobeying the lawful order of a police officer" and they will handle it. I had to do this once when my ex husband's ex girlfriend started calling me and harrassing me. She didn't do anything illegal, but was really freaking me out. The cops were super nice, and went to her house and told her in no uncertain terms to leave me alone. (she was no nicer or more reasonable with them than with me, so at least that was on record too, if it had continued.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 Thank you guys for the advice. It was daylight when he knocked yesterday and my dh was home. The glass wasn't broken before he hit his brakes, my dh witnessed him slam on the brakes and the ATV roll forward. That's why he got out to check on the guy, he didn't know what had happened. I agree about paying assigning guilt...that's what worries me. That he'll just keep showing up anyway. And asking for money in a very confrontational manner to a complete stranger is what is bothering me. The guy *knows* my dh is not at fault for any of this. And we did talk about his attitude and and wondered if he would become a problem if we ignored him. He has already shown willingness to knock on our door with an intimidating manner. I think I'll talk to my dh about contacting the police just for advice. I mean we both agreed that if it had been us we would likely curse ourselves for overreacting and being dumb enough to not strap the thing down and then go on our way. Any decent person wouldn't start harassing someone for money.Thanks. <oh I hope the creepy guy goes away> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 And we did talk about his attitude and and wondered if he would become a problem if we ignored him. He has already shown willingness to knock on our door with an intimidating manner. I think I'll talk to my dh about contacting the police just for advice. I mean we both agreed that if it had been us we would likely curse ourselves for overreacting and being dumb enough to not strap the thing down and then go on our way. Any decent person wouldn't start harassing someone for money.Thanks. <oh I hope the creepy guy goes away> PLEASE call the police. Seriously. This is what you pay taxes for, this is what they do. They will NOT be annoyed or think you are silly, they will be glad you are putting it in their hands. Think of it this way, if you don't call, and the guy does do something illegal, won't you wish you had called? He might retaliate and slash your tires or something, and you want it on record that he police already know about him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I personally think you should have called the police the night of the incident. The insurance company would want a police report and statement to pay on the glass repair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I personally think you should have called the police the night of the incident. The insurance company would want a police report and statement to pay on the glass repair. Why should she have made that call? Is it my job to call the police if I see someone back into a pole in a parking lot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would ask an attorney friend to write a letter briefly explaining what happened, why you are not responsible, denying liability, and informing him that you are a represented party and should be contacted only through the attorney. You probably could get an attorney to do this for you for a small sum. I think he need something "official" telling him not to contact you and not to come back on your property. If you aren't willing to pay an attorney to do this, I would type it up myself, leave out the part about only being contacted through your attorney, but in form him that you deny any liability and that he is not to enter your property again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would ask an attorney friend to write a letter briefly explaining what happened, why you are not responsible, denying liability, and informing him that you are a represented party and should be contacted only through the attorney. You probably could get an attorney to do this for you for a small sum. I think he need something "official" telling him not to contact you and not to come back on your property. If you aren't willing to pay an attorney to do this, I would type it up myself, leave out the part about only being contacted through your attorney, but in form him that you deny any liability and that he is not to enter your property again. Yes, I would do this. I would also probably call the police to ask them, as well. And don't pay that guy a dime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would not pay him a cent, and I would contact the police since he is trying to intimidate you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 File a police report about the incident, including the following harassment and don't pay him a cent. Should he ever take you to court, paying his repairs will look like an admission of responsibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Why should she have made that call? Is it my job to call the police if I see someone back into a pole in a parking lot? Ah, I see what you are saying. I suppose if I felt that night that he was going to attempt to blame me for his issues; the police report would be filed to have a figure of authority notate I was in the right. My brother is a police officer and I hear crazy stories. It has just been drilled into my head to file, file, file. They can't know the back story to a situation if they are never informed when it begins. I am referring to if the police have to come out due to harrassment charges, damage to property charges, etc. that all are going to be referred back to the initial incident that spun things into motion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I personally think you should have called the police the night of the incident. :iagree: I would have been pretty concerned that night that the guy would blame it a on me and would have called them just to get a report to absolve me. No I wouldn't call the police if someone in a parking lot hit a light pole...unless they were screaming at me, accusing me of being responsible. Then I would call in a heartbeat. I don't handle screaming, irrational people by myself, thanks to taxes. ;) What would I do now? I would calmly tell the guy that I disagreed that I was at fault and due to the fact that we can't agree, I think the right thing to do is to call the police now, together, to do a report. If the police find me at fault, after a report, my insurance will cover the glass repair. Then I would see how he responds to that suggestion. If he declines, but is still angry, I would call the police to make a report stating that I fear retaliation. I would make sure to get a report of that no matter what else you do. I would also consider installing a video camera or two on my property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahbobeara Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would not pay him a cent, and I would contact the police since he is trying to intimidate you. :iagree:The guy is being a bully. A creepy one. I'd also get a dog. A big loud snarly one ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Don't pay a dime. People are right, doing so would look like an admission of guilt should he take you to court. If the judge sees that you've already paid some, then he or she may see that as an admission of negligence on your dh's part. I still think the responsibility lies with the driver that didn't secure his atv, but I can see a judge finding for him to receive half of the cost, due to the prior payment...So, don't do it! The point is, even if your dh had started to pull out and braked suddenly, thereby causing the man to slam on his brakes...there still would not have been a collision. So, the only damage would have been from the unsecured atv...meaning, the other driver would still have been at fault, and not your dh. I hope that made sense! I agree to call the non-emergency number to the police and get something on record. He may do the same thing, and in my opinion, I would rather have my statement of what happened on record first. I'm not sure of the laws regarding securing items like an atv, but he may have broken one. I mean, as a driver, it is your responsibility to secure things, whether it's your groceries, your atv, or your children. And it makes logical sense, that failing to do so, means any damages caused are the responsibility of the driver, and often punishable (such as an unrestrained child, for instance). Trying to pass the blame, just doesn't hold up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I completely agree about calling the police for the unhinged way the guy responded to his own mistake. :001_smile: I just don't think the OP had any obligation to call the police to create a paper trail for the guy's insurance company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I completely agree about calling the police for the unhinged way the guy responded to his own mistake. :001_smile: I just don't think the OP had any obligation to call the police to create a paper trail for the guy's insurance company. I wasn't implying that the OP had an obligation for the drivers insurance. The original driver clearly is obligated to take care of his own insurance. My only implication was that the report would help having a statement by police that the op was not in the wrong AND the driver should have called to have a report for insurance to begin with. Sorry if my thought process wasn't clearly transposed into type :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 However, something about this whole thing doesn't feel right and my gut instinct is saying that you shouldn't pay him anything. I think you should contact the police and ask for guidance on this issue. Explain exactly what happened and that this guy seems threatening and that you both are uneasy around him. I'm worried that if you pay anything, then he might come back with medical bills or something else. If the police determine that you aren't at fault, ask them to go talk with him. And then if he shows up again, don't answer the door and call them. :iagree::iagree: Esp the bolded. PLEASE call the police. Seriously. This is what you pay taxes for, this is what they do. They will NOT be annoyed or think you are silly, they will be glad you are putting it in their hands. Think of it this way, if you don't call, and the guy does do something illegal, won't you wish you had called? He might retaliate and slash your tires or something, and you want it on record that he police already know about him. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 The police weren't called because there wasn't an accident to report. Imagine if you were pulling out of your drive, saw a truck coming and stopped. Very normally. My dh wasn't even close to the road, he stopped in the drive. And then that truck braked suddenly and their atv crashed into their glass. My dh got out because he wasn't sure why the guy stopped. For all he knew someone was ill or hurt and braked. We shrugged off his anger the night of, putting it up to adrenaline and fear since his back glass just shattered all over him. Honestly if his stupid 4 wheeler had been strapped he probably would have recovered from his mistake and drove on. We're not calling *our* insurance because there's nothing we caused to require our insurance to pay for it. Honestly the guy needs to call his insurance and I can only imagine he's not because of fear of raising his rate or he doesn't have any. My dh likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and he thinks helping him with his bill will be kind and cool the guy down. I'm much less trusting. I'm thinking that if my dh really wants to just help with the bill then he needs to do it in writing in front of a witness that notarizes clearly stating that the guy accepts that my dh is *helping* him and has no responsibility for the bill or fault for the guys glass. I'm worried that if my dh helps without this witness, the guy won't be satisfied and become a threat. I'm going to call non-emergency for advice and a notary and if my dh still wants to just pay something---he lets people walk over him way too much :glare:--then we'll take the money directly to the body shop. Maybe a notarized in writing exchange will protect us from him pursuing it further and give him the clue that he needs to drop it and stay away because we will protect ourselves from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I'm thinking that if my dh really wants to just help with the bill then he needs to do it in writing in front of a witness that notarizes clearly stating that the guy accepts that my dh is *helping* him and has no responsibility for the bill or fault for the guys glass. If you think your husband is going to give him money no matter what, he/you should contact a lawyer. I'm not one, but I don't think a notarized statement is going to mean anything if this should ever go to court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) If your DH acknowledges that has no responsibility or fault for the guy's glass, why would he pay him or help him out at all? If anything, it would likely lead him to come back for more, since it was that easy to pressure your DH to offer him money even though he has no culpability. Edited June 23, 2012 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 This thought process makes no sense to me. If your DH acknowledges that has no responsibility or fault for the guy's glass, why would he pay him or help him out at all? If anything, it would likely lead him to come back for more, since it was that easy to pressure your DH to offer him money even though he has no culpability. Exactly! You have to understand my dh--he has as much assertiveness as a wet noodle. He *hates* confrontation, he hates offending, and he's the type who would apologize to his elbow if he bumped it. The fact that he is this personality and here's this snarly intimidating guy suddenly at our door is not a good mix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 The police weren't called because there wasn't an accident to report. Imagine if you were pulling out of your drive, saw a truck coming and stopped. Very normally. My dh wasn't even close to the road, he stopped in the drive. And then that truck braked suddenly and their atv crashed into their glass. My dh got out because he wasn't sure why the guy stopped. For all he knew someone was ill or hurt and braked. We shrugged off his anger the night of, putting it up to adrenaline and fear since his back glass just shattered all over him. Honestly if his stupid 4 wheeler had been strapped he probably would have recovered from his mistake and drove on. We're not calling *our* insurance because there's nothing we caused to require our insurance to pay for it. Honestly the guy needs to call his insurance and I can only imagine he's not because of fear of raising his rate or he doesn't have any. My dh likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and he thinks helping him with his bill will be kind and cool the guy down. I'm much less trusting. I'm thinking that if my dh really wants to just help with the bill then he needs to do it in writing in front of a witness that notarizes clearly stating that the guy accepts that my dh is *helping* him and has no responsibility for the bill or fault for the guys glass. I'm worried that if my dh helps without this witness, the guy won't be satisfied and become a threat. I'm going to call non-emergency for advice and a notary and if my dh still wants to just pay something---he lets people walk over him way too much :glare:--then we'll take the money directly to the body shop. Maybe a notarized in writing exchange will protect us from him pursuing it further and give him the clue that he needs to drop it and stay away because we will protect ourselves from him. Your husband thinks he is helping, but really he is justifying in the agressor's mind that he is, in fact, owed compensation. It feels like your husband is paying blackmail to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 My dh likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and he thinks helping him with his bill will be kind and cool the guy down. I'm much less trusting. I'm thinking that if my dh really wants to just help with the bill then he needs to do it in writing in front of a witness that notarizes clearly stating that the guy accepts that my dh is *helping* him and has no responsibility for the bill or fault for the guys glass. A notary only affirms that your signature is your signature, not that what you are saying is true. I think if your dh gives him any money, there is a good chance you will eventually find yourselves either in small claims court or being harassed by his insurance company. Giving him money acknowledges guilt, even if that is not your intention. ESPECIALLY because he is not a friend or family member you are "helping" out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Exactly! You have to understand my dh--he has as much assertiveness as a wet noodle. He *hates* confrontation, he hates offending, and he's the type who would apologize to his elbow if he bumped it. The fact that he is this personality and here's this snarly intimidating guy suddenly at our door is not a good mix. He is inviting MORE confrontation when this guy decides he's a patsy. Next he'll have neck ache .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 He is inviting MORE confrontation when this guy decides he's a patsy. Next he'll have neck ache .... Exactly! It won't end unless you involve the police and your dh should take the initiative. Whiplash, daughter has mysterious bump on head, oh my aching back....he'll milk it if he thinks he can get away with it. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I know you don't want to call your insurance company but you need to give them a heads up about this person claiming your husband was the cause of the accident. I worked for an insurance company way back when and people, especially his type, will file a false claim. Your insurance isn't going to go up because of a report. Your husband didn't share insurance information with the guy, did he? Of course, the guy could be all bluster and hopes by intimidating you all, you'll pay his bill for his stupidity. As everyone else said, call the police and file a report about the incident. And no, don't pay anything at all. The guy would take this as admission of guilt of some sort and before you know it, he'll be demanding total payment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 The police weren't called because there wasn't an accident to report. Imagine if you were pulling out of your drive, saw a truck coming and stopped. Very normally. My dh wasn't even close to the road, he stopped in the drive. And then that truck braked suddenly and their atv crashed into their glass. My dh got out because he wasn't sure why the guy stopped. For all he knew someone was ill or hurt and braked. We shrugged off his anger the night of, putting it up to adrenaline and fear since his back glass just shattered all over him. Honestly if his stupid 4 wheeler had been strapped he probably would have recovered from his mistake and drove on. We're not calling *our* insurance because there's nothing we caused to require our insurance to pay for it. Honestly the guy needs to call his insurance and I can only imagine he's not because of fear of raising his rate or he doesn't have any. My dh likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and he thinks helping him with his bill will be kind and cool the guy down. I'm much less trusting. I'm thinking that if my dh really wants to just help with the bill then he needs to do it in writing in front of a witness that notarizes clearly stating that the guy accepts that my dh is *helping* him and has no responsibility for the bill or fault for the guys glass. I'm worried that if my dh helps without this witness, the guy won't be satisfied and become a threat. I'm going to call non-emergency for advice and a notary and if my dh still wants to just pay something---he lets people walk over him way too much :glare:--then we'll take the money directly to the body shop. Maybe a notarized in writing exchange will protect us from him pursuing it further and give him the clue that he needs to drop it and stay away because we will protect ourselves from him. No, no, no. One thousand times NO to the bolded. Do not give this dude money. We own a business where we have a lot of "tough" guys that *think* they can get away with stuff--especially with me, when my dh is not around. Often times a simple and firm, "No. It doesn't work like that" is all that is needed. He is testing you. If you seem intimidated, he WILL continue to harass you. Ignore this latest visit. If he comes to your door again, tell him you are not paying for his mistake and will call the police if he harasses and comes on your property again. A notary will just be authorizing the signature, not that statements are true. Do not go this route, either. :grouphug: Don't worry. Some people live their lives acting like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 DO NOT give him money or anything. Doing so will be an admission of responsibility and you will likely be on the hook for whatever charges he wants to level against you. It could easily turn into an outrageous situation. I would contact the police and get their advise. I would make it very clear to this man that he needs to deal with his own insurance and that he has no more business on your property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Exactly! You have to understand my dh--he has as much assertiveness as a wet noodle. He *hates* confrontation, he hates offending, and he's the type who would apologize to his elbow if he bumped it. The fact that he is this personality and here's this snarly intimidating guy suddenly at our door is not a good mix. Then tell your dh if he does pay the bully -- this is going to end up in Small Claims Court with a he said vs dh said type of questioning by the judge. The judge will also ask your dh WHY did he pay? It makes no sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) My dh likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and he thinks helping him with his bill will be kind and cool the guy down. I'm much less trusting. some people do. not. deserve. the "benefit of the doubt". your dh is seriously naive about being "helpful". if you pay him anything, it will. not. end. I'm worried . . . . the guy won't be satisfied and become a threat. I'm going to call non-emergency for advice good first step. I'd also suggest calling your insurance company and let them know what happened and that this guy is becomign threatening. if my dh still wants to just pay something---he lets people walk over him way too much :glare:--then we'll take the money directly to the body shop. Maybe a notarized in writing exchange will protect us from him pursuing it further and give him the clue that he needs to drop it and stay away because we will protect ourselves from him. DO NOT PAY ANYTHING!!!!!! :svengo: he will keep coming until he's tired if you do. a notarized writing will not protect you from anything but allegations that it's not your signature. honestly, the fact he over reacted by breaking so hard I question whether he was sober enough to have been driving . . . . Edited June 23, 2012 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Do not pay him anything. That implies guilt, should he decide to sue you later. It would be a lot harder for your dh to say he didn't do anything wrong if he paid part of the bill. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Give the $60 to your attorney. Hopefully you have the nutjob's name and address. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 okay so I wanted to give you guys a heads up---you've all been so helpful. The guy called! And asked if we had thought about how much we were "willing" to help. Luckily I answered the phone. ;) I said that that I didn't feel as though it was our responsibility to help since the damage was not our fault. He got mad again---go figure-- and started yelling that it "definitely was your dh's fault" and "he's responsible for some if not all of the bill". I very calmly told him that we needed to take other measures to resolve this and he yelled "you know... I don't want to talk about it or play games" and he hung up. :001_huh: I contacted the police and an attorney. Luckily we are acquaintances with one and were able to call him at home. Both of them say my dh is not at fault and considering there was no police report and the damage was done by the atv that ought to have been strapped down, if he took it to small claims it would likely be thrown out and the guy would be hard pressed to prove anything at this point if he even wanted to try. The police officer said he is in the wrong to take matters into his own hands telling us what is or isn't our fault and what if anything we should pay in damages and the fact that he didn't file a police report himself is suspect considering he's trying to get us to accept guilt. The attorney shattered my dh's faith in humanity with what he called "no good deed goes unpunished" and that paying anything, even as an act of kindness or good deed, would only make matters worse if the guy wanted to go to small claims and that from the way he is acting he may be trying to do just that. We can't be sure of his intentions. Both of them said it's best to have no contact with the guy, that it's okay to inform him IF he calls again that an attorney and police officer have been contacted and we are not to have any further contact with him. If he continues to harass without going through any proper legal means of communication then I have the right to a restraining order. Ugh! Those of you who pray and those of you who don't---send me good vibes please! I don't want him near my family! I'm not exaggerating how loud and scary angry he is. Bully is definitely the right word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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