Does your house stay a mess?

[Sctigermom]

I am an only child and grew up in a spotless house that was constantly cleaned by my ocd mother. I've never been the best housekeeper. In fact when I moved into my 1st apartment my mother came over on Saturdays and cleaned it and did my laundry. Fast forward 10 years and I'm married with 3 kids. No matter what I do I can not seem to keep our house clean. I have tried organizing it to the extreme, but with no one helping keep it organized it doesn't stay that way. With a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old, homeschool, activities, playdates, and doctors appointments I barely have time to eat and sleep. I've read a bunch of home organizing/cleaning blogs and books and I've tried flylady, but no matter what I do I can't keep the house where I would like. Maybe my expectations are set too high and I'm setting myself up for failure. So are you able to homeschool and keep an organize and pretty spotless house or is it a mess like mine?

[regentrude]

My house is fairly clean and organized and was when the kids were younger, too.

The key for us is to have little stuff. Declutter. The fewer things need places, the less time it takes to clean up.

Also, every thing has a place and gets put away immediately. No piles of things to find homes for later.

 

Expectations? Spotless is too much of an expectation for me. Our house looks lived in, but not dirty. We clean when it is necessary, not on schedule.

My standard is to be ready for drop in company, but not ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot.

Laudry gets done when I have enough dirty clothes for a full load.

Ironing - only work clothes for DH and myself.

[ma23peas]

Yes.

 

One day, in five years When all my children are gone it will be a show home. I go by the two hour rule, if we could get the whole house clean in 2 hours, it is manageable...if not, we tackle whatever is keeping us from that status, yesterday, it was 8 loads of laundry! Tomorrow, it will be the garage!!

[Cassy]

It's a mess, probably worse than yours. Having said that, we've just had a week off and I've spent most of my time dusting, tidying, organising, and cooking meals for the freezer so that we can survive the next six weeks before we finish for the summer. Like you I was an only child with an ocd mother, I do think we have excessively high expectations ingrained; however, even knowing that doesn't help much does it? One good thing I did this week was to hire a cleaner to come in for four hours a week just to do the vacuuming and clean the bathrooms, hopefully that'll leave me a bit more space to breathe a little.

 

Give yourself a break and don't worry too much about it, this phase will pass only too soon.

[swellmomma]

Yes. Everynight I try to put it back in order, it is not gross dirty but if someone showed up at my door ar 2pm after a long day of teaching, toddlers playing, dogs running around etc they would likely think I never clean. Had they showed up here at 7am they would see how it generally starts off in the day as clean and tidy.

[jujsky]

Mine is almost always messy. It's not a total pit or anything, but there is clutter, and this time of year lots and lots of dog hair no matter how many times I vacuum.

[Momof3littles]

Yes. Everynight I try to put it back in order, it is not gross dirty but if someone showed up at my door ar 2pm after a long day of teaching, toddlers playing, dogs running around etc they would likely think I never clean. Had they showed up here at 7am they would see how it generally starts off in the day as clean and tidy.

:iagree: IMO this is one of the toughest parts of HSing for me. My friends may have several kids making a mess, but not all day long while they need to focus on teaching. The 5 yo and toddler get a lot of stuff out while I'm busy with my 8yo. Dh also has been traveling a good bit for work, and we finished up a vacation a week ago. Those things tend to put us behind the 8 ball for a while.

 

eta: I also look forward to a time when I can get up at 5 am before the kids and get a few chores done in peace, without my attention divided. My DS2 still cosleeps part time and when i get up, he's awake for the day. We're getting there, and I know it will happen over the next few months. If I could get 2 hours in the morning before the kids wake up, I think I could get a fantastic start on the day.

Edited June 8, 2012 by Momof3littles

[Ellie]

I am an only child and grew up in a spotless house that was constantly cleaned by my ocd mother. I've never been the best housekeeper. In fact when I moved into my 1st apartment my mother came over on Saturdays and cleaned it and did my laundry. Fast forward 10 years and I'm married with 3 kids. No matter what I do I can not seem to keep our house clean. I have tried organizing it to the extreme, but with no one helping keep it organized it doesn't stay that way. With a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old, homeschool, activities, playdates, and doctors appointments I barely have time to eat and sleep. I've read a bunch of home organizing/cleaning blogs and books and I've tried flylady, but no matter what I do I can't keep the house where I would like. Maybe my expectations are set too high and I'm setting myself up for failure. So are you able to homeschool and keep an organize and pretty spotless house or is it a mess like mine?

Fairly organized, mostly tidy.

 

I like the Flylady, but I prefer the Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.), which is where Flylady got her start.

 

Here's something I see about your schedule: "homeschool, activities, playdates." My very strong recommendation, especially for people whose dc are as young as yours, is to stay home as much as possible. Pick a day of the week for outside activities (for me, Thursday was better; that gave me three uninterrupted days at home), and only go out on that day. No playdates, if they are not on that day (I never even heard the word "playdate" until I started posting here on WTM). And with a 6yo, your Official Homeschool Stuff shouldn't take that long. If it is, you might also consider reworking that, too.

 

Also, for me having one dedicated day to cleaning house worked best. I did everything on Friday--laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, everything. During the week I did maintanence, including cleaning the kitchen immediately after a meal and putting things away regularly.

 

I didn't expect anyone to help me. My job. I did teach the dc to pick up things and train them to clean and whatnot, but I decided the schedule and did things when they needed to be done.

[Element]

It depends on how you define "a mess." I think my house stays pretty nice and clean, dh thinks it is always a mess. Dh is a little on the ocd side, I'm two generations away from full-blown hoarders and I grew up in a truly messy house. Every time I visit my MIL's house, she says "Oh, it's such a mess in here," and I'm completely :confused: because I have no idea what she's talking about.

 

So, yes, I am able to keep up with dishes and laundry, vacuuming and sweeping. I am not always able to keep things from piling up on desks and tables. I consider that fairly clean. Dh does not. However, note the ages of my dc: 7 and 8. I had a much more difficult time keeping the house picked up when I had a 1 year old. I say, give yourself a break. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.

[Sctigermom]

It's a mess, probably worse than yours. Having said that, we've just had a week off and I've spent most of my time dusting, tidying, organising, and cooking meals for the freezer so that we can survive the next six weeks before we finish for the summer. Like you I was an only child with an ocd mother, I do think we have excessively high expectations ingrained; however, even knowing that doesn't help much does it? One good thing I did this week was to hire a cleaner to come in for four hours a week just to do the vacuuming and clean the bathrooms, hopefully that'll leave me a bit more space to breathe a little.

 

Give yourself a break and don't worry too much about it, this phase will pass only too soon.

No it doesn't help. Once I cleaned the house top to bottom before my mother came over. She walked around looking at the house only to open the microwave and ask for some cleaner :glare:

[Mommee & Baba]

I can't help you in your situation, because I'm an OCD mother. :lol:

[MariannNOVA]

Yes - pretty much spotless, but my kids are alot older than yours - when they were the age of yours, I had a cleaning woman once a week, but in between, it was spotless.

 

We had a joke in our house growing up that my mother could 'hear' dirt. :glare: I was probably the only 9 year old who spent two days a week in the summer (Mon and Thurs) cleaning the house top to bottom and the ironing - that was my job till I got a real job at the end of high school. And, no, I didn't get paid for it.

 

We've had alot of practice with 'spotless' with the house being on the market. Now that we are in the new house, we are pretty much in the groove of keeping everything spotless. There 'is' a routine for pretty much every room and every person - but, like I said, my kids are older.

 

I found that what helped enormously was getting rid of clutter and anything extraneous. This weekend dh and I working on the area in the garage where one comes into the mud room -- my thinking is that if I can start the sorting/organization process prior to the kids coming into the house (shoes, backpacks, swim bags, coats) and get it all hung etc in the garage, I have a better shot at keeping the mud room neat.

 

Years ago, I read something in a breastfeeding book (my 32 yr old was 8 wks at the time) and she streamlined a morning routine that I still do today -- bathroom sinks and faucets wiped down with rubbing alcohol every morning - they smell and look clean.

 

I think you need to be a little easier on yourself -- your kids are really young, you are really busy. Maybe work on one room at a time - the kitchen for instance, and master that - even it takes months, if you get it the way you want it, you can then go on to the next room.

[Sctigermom]

Yes. Everynight I try to put it back in order, it is not gross dirty but if someone showed up at my door ar 2pm after a long day of teaching, toddlers playing, dogs running around etc they would likely think I never clean. Had they showed up here at 7am they would see how it generally starts off in the day as clean and tidy.

This is our house^^

[fairfarmhand]

Fairly organized, mostly tidy.

 

I like the Flylady, but I prefer the Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.), which is where Flylady got her start.

 

Here's something I see about your schedule: "homeschool, activities, playdates." My very strong recommendation, especially for people whose dc are as young as yours, is to stay home as much as possible. Pick a day of the week for outside activities (for me, Thursday was better; that gave me three uninterrupted days at home), and only go out on that day. No playdates, if they are not on that day (I never even heard the word "playdate" until I started posting here on WTM). And with a 6yo, your Official Homeschool Stuff shouldn't take that long. If it is, you might also consider reworking that, too.

 

Also, for me having one dedicated day to cleaning house worked best. I did everything on Friday--laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, everything. During the week I did maintanence, including cleaning the kitchen immediately after a meal and putting things away regularly.

 

I didn't expect anyone to help me. My job. I did teach the dc to pick up things and train them to clean and whatnot, but I decided the schedule and did things when they needed to be done.

 

:iagree:

 

If I don't have one or two days where we do NOTHING BUT STAY HOME each week, I get overwhelmed VERY quickly.

[JessReplanted]

Yes.

 

Functional Messiness. ;)

 

FWIW, I used to be one of those people who had to have the house looking perfect before I could let myself relax. That was a very long time (and 3 kids) ago. :lol:

[melissad2]

My house is messy most of the time. Three boys 5 and under will do that to a house. I decided that we live in our house and I'm not going to kill myself keeping it spotless. I hope that as my kids get older and we don't have as many toys it will get better.

[Ibbygirl]

No it doesn't help. Once I cleaned the house top to bottom before my mother came over. She walked around looking at the house only to open the microwave and ask for some cleaner :glare:

:grouphug: That's got to be tough.

 

Give yourself a break and don't worry too much about it, this phase will pass only too soon.

 

:iagree: I think you got some great tips for organization, decluttering and time management from the other posters, but I think it's perfectly okay to do what Cassy says too. Do you what you can and leave the rest. This is a season in your life that won't last forever. Enjoy your children, have fun with school and use the tips these lovely ladies have given you and I think that will be a nice balance for this time in your life. When your kids get older, they can help you clean and as a family you can tackle the house. :) JMHO. :)

[Susan in TN]

FWIW, it seems to be a rule of thumb that until a child is 8 or 9yo, they will always contribute way more to the mess mess than they can "really" contribute toward a clean house.

 

I think it also depends on the personalities in your household. Some folks just like to be neat and orderly and keep things that way - on the OCD side of things. Others, well, not so much. And unfortunately, if often runs in families :D.

 

With our ADD tendencies, as much as we try, I can't get my kids to focus on one thing long enough to realize when they are done with that activity (and so can put it away.) And I don't have the time or mommy clones to sit and watch all 6 of them to make sure it gets done consistently. We do have established cleaning/chore times, though - right after breakfast, right after lunch, right before dinner. Everyone has a job and anyone who doesn't helps with "general pick-up". Sometimes in the evenings we'll do a whole-house tidy and make sure the floors are vacuumed or swept and mopped, furniture is dusted, etc.

 

:grouphug: I know it gets frustrating and overwhelming. Hang in there - it gets better.

[Gingerbread Mama]

It will get better. I had three children in four years.....those first few years were honest to goodness awful for the most part. Between diapers, the oldest starting school and having constant homework (which would take up the time you are spending on playdates and dr's appts), kids getting sick and puking, kids wetting the bed, did I mention diapers (I had two 15.5 months apart :glare: I joke that all I did for three years was wipe behinds...), fixing meals, taking baths, kids playing with toys... There was just no way in heck to keep the house pristine. It was a battle, somedays, just to keep it above the level of a biohazard.

 

Now, my kids are 13, 9, and 8. It is sooo much better that it's unreal. They can bathe themselves, clear the table, fold towels even! No more diapers to change! They can put away their own toys, make their own beds. My house is usually pretty presentable and clean. I have friends with less children who :confused: when they come over and ask how I keep it so clean and have more kids than they do. My secret is slave labor :tongue_smilie: Each child must clean their own room, and do whatever simple chore I tell them to do. They make their own beds in the morning, and sort their laundry into mesh hampers as they undress. I wash the clothes, they each put their own away. Life is sooo much better - household hygiene wise LOL - with older kids!

[GSOchristie]

Our house stays pretty clean. I try to get up by 6:00 so i can have it done by 7:45. My kids are eating, doing their chores, and playing during this time. I have 1.5 hours worth of chores each day, so for example, today I changed all the sheets, vacuumed and dusted the whole upstairs, and washed and put away two loads of laundry. Yesterday I cleaned both upstairs bathrooms, including mopping, and did a load of laundry and diapers. Each day I have a similar workload, so I don't do a major cleaning day, that would overwhelm me. When we moved in i made a master list of all the things that need to be done and split it into five days. I do all the downstairs things on Mon-Wed, and the upstairs on Thur and Friday. On Saturday i'll do a major thing like clean windows or baseboards. I do a quick (2 min tops) sweep after every meal, so my floor looks clean even though it only gets mopped twice a week.

 

My kids are responsible for their junk, toys, shoes, books, and clothes. I don't pick up any of it. This cuts out quite a bit of work for me. Even my one year old knows how to put her toys away and puts her clothes in the hamper before her bath. My five and 2.5 year old have to clean up Every. Single. Toy. they have dragged out twice a day, once before rest time and again before bedtime. This keeps the mess from being overwhelming for them, I also only let them get out one or two sets of toys at a time, if they want to switch, they have to clean up first. My five year old dumps his little pieces (Lego, Hero Factory, Playmobil) on a blanket so to clean them up we just fold the four corners up and dump it into a bin. They both make their beds in the morning and bring their dishes to the sink. Asher is responsible for unloading the dishwasher (I put all things including glasses in the bottom cabinets where he can reach.). I am trying to find child sized brooms so they can take turns sweeping under the table after meals. I add chores that he is responsible for every year, and raise his allowance by $0.10 a day.

 

This is how I keep our house pretty clean, by doing these things I would never feel embarrassed for someone to just drop by :001_smile:. By getting most of my cleaning done in the morning, we are free to do whatever for the rest of the day. We have been starting school around 8:00, and since we're only doing 45 minutes this summer, we have all day for fun stuff.

[Nestof3]

Our house was always clean growing up. We, of course, were at school much of the day, and my brother, when old enough, always seemed to be out doing something. So, I don't think our house had the same chance of getting as messy. My brother was sort of a slob, but as soon as Mom would get stressed (start yelling) because he didn't keep his room neat, I would tidy it. I knew it hurt my mom's feelings to toss his clean, neatly-folded clothes on the floor, and I knew she wouldn't enact any sort of consequence system.

 

I am the OCD person in the family. I kept my room neat and organized daily/weekly as a child. I dusted furniture for fun. My parents' house is large enough that they don't have to declutter and organize as much. Papers, for example, are all over the house. Much of it cannot be seen, though. Some of it drives me crazy.

 

Our house is small, so it is a greater challenge to keep it decluttered and neat. Just a little bit left out makes the room look untidy. I have always succeeded at keeping it clean and neat, but that's a priority for me.

 

I am a creature of habit, so beds are made (by the person sleeping in it) daily. My room is tidied at the same time -- barrette from the night before put in the jewelry box, for example. The house is vacuumed nightly. A load of clothes is washed eat night when I go to bed and dried the next morning. I fold them ASAP and have owner put away. Dishwasher is run at night and emptied in the morning while coffee is brewing. House is tidied during the day and again before bed. The playroom (which is small and gets easily overwhelmed with playthings) is tidied every few days. Mail is dealt with immediately. Recycled stuff goes in recycle container, personal stuff is shredded, bills and such are filed away, magazines to keep are put in bathroom or on the living room end stand if they are my husband's, and coupons are placed in coupon folder/holder.

 

I need to get the boys to be more consistent with their daily chores because some of the actual cleaning is not meeting my desires right now (bathroom for example -- we only have one, and it dirties fast). Things like window cleaning practically never get done. Those are the areas I would like to improve in. Mopping the kitchen floor, for example, is going to have to be done more often -- perhaps every other night because it dirties so quickly.

 

I remember having younger ones. I always had toy bins that were designated for certain things and containers for books and such. Tidying was easy for them because they knew exactly where to put the board books, the puzzles, the play dishes, etc.

[The Girls' Mom]

My house is lived in. It is clean in that, with some regularity, the dishes are washed, the floors are swept, trash is emptied, laundry is washed and the bathrooms are cleaned. I try to pick up the messy stuff if I know we are having visitors. (although if you are family or a close friend, you get what we live with!) About once a week the girls and I'll go through and put things in order.

 

I have better things to do with my time than stress out myself and everyone else that lives here with keeping a spotless house. My mother had to have a *spotless* house. We couldn't even leave a glass out without the house being declared a pig sty. I won't live that way and I'm not going to make my kids do it.

[Baseball mom]

Yes it always seems to be a mess. It isn't call the health dept. nasty but it is a cluttered mess. Yes we have to much junk and I am working on it but it gets so overwhelming.

[thefragile7393]

Yeah it's pretty much a mess all the time. It does not help that I am also a student and I work 12 hour shifts and get off late at night. I too try to set a timer and only do stuff for that time and when the timer goes off, I'm done (except if something happens like juice spills on something, etc). I was the only child of an OCD father...oddly his tendencies did not continue with me.

[Unscripted]

My DH and I like things "neat". That may not mean "clean" as with cleaning agents- depending on the day. I love Clorox wipes for a quick wipe down and make things smell fresh. And a clean sink and counter makes the whole room appear neater (speaking to bathrooms and kitchens) even if you haven't mopped in ages. Dishes are always in the dishwasher as soon as you are done. Why not? It's right next to the sink! Lol As far as general clutter and toys... We do 3 "speed cleans" a day. One before lunch, one before daddy gets home (lol), and one before bed. Anything that is yours needs to make it back to its spot. Since we do it 3 times a day- a speed clean usually takes less than 3-4 minutes. Mine are old enough to do it when told now. But when they were younger I loved laundry baskets! Grab a laundry basket, go around and pitch all their little toys in it, and from a young age I would at least get them to push it to their room. I would usually get that emptied into their toybox, or bookshelf by bedtime.

We just like our house to look like a home... Not a kids play yard.

 

But my biggest secret?

Every single room has a junk drawer- on purpose. In the kids rooms it is the bottom drawer of their night stands. My room is the bottom drawer in our chest of drawers. In the kitchen it is this big pit of a drawer in the cabinets. There will always be BS that doesn't have a home- that you may not even know what it is- but you need the space cleared. That's what the junk drawer is for. Yes it gets full... That's when you empty it. Most of the time 99% ends up in the garbage. But the lost batteries and etc will end up there too. Anyway- it really helps to have a hidden BS spot in our house.

[Dustybug]

My children are the same ages as yours, although my 1 year old will be 2 in a month. We live in a small house, so it can certainly appear messy when it really isn't because clutter builds up easily and quickly. I have to say that purging things on a regular basis is how I maintain a small semblance of order. I found and have really enjoyed http://31daystoclean.com/ It is part devotional as well (I don't know your persuasion there), but it sets everything up in small increments so that you don't feel overwhelmed on any given day. The first time I went through it, even though I only completed 3/4 of it, it really helped me get my house in order and I felt great checking off my task for each day. I'm currently going through the 31 Days to Clean Reboot here: http://sarahmae.com/2012/06/the-reboot-day-1-distractions/. It's Day 5 and my bedrooms are starting to look ship shape! (And they were horrendous!) I also like the schedule that I follow loosely here: http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2010/09/home-maintenance-schedule.html

 

I was never taught HOW to be a good housekeeper. My mother just wanted us out of the way when she cleaned, so it's definitely been and still is a learning process for me.

 

Fairly organized, mostly tidy.

 

I like the Flylady, but I prefer the Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.), which is where Flylady got her start.

 

Here's something I see about your schedule: "homeschool, activities, playdates." My very strong recommendation, especially for people whose dc are as young as yours, is to stay home as much as possible. Pick a day of the week for outside activities (for me, Thursday was better; that gave me three uninterrupted days at home), and only go out on that day. No playdates, if they are not on that day (I never even heard the word "playdate" until I started posting here on WTM). And with a 6yo, your Official Homeschool Stuff shouldn't take that long. If it is, you might also consider reworking that, too.

 

Also, for me having one dedicated day to cleaning house worked best. I did everything on Friday--laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, everything. During the week I did maintanence, including cleaning the kitchen immediately after a meal and putting things away regularly.

 

I didn't expect anyone to help me. My job. I did teach the dc to pick up things and train them to clean and whatnot, but I decided the schedule and did things when they needed to be done.

 

I agree with the bolded. We are home most days. In fact, I'd say we stay at home an average of 4 days each week. Playdates are nice, but for me, they don't come at the expense of schoolwork or house work. We don't do a ton of extra activities. My DD takes ballet from Sept-May and we have AWANAS during that time as well. Other than that, there is nothing on a regular basis. Kids don't have to be in a million different things at this age.

 

I also have my kids do chores as well(the older two). They fold towels and washcloths when I do laundry and they are responsible for folding and putting away their own clothing. They hang what needs to be put on hangars and then I put them up in the closet. I also have them wipe down my lower kitchen cupboards (we use vinegar and water to clean so it isn't toxic), and my oldest is responsible most of the time for sweeping the kitchen after each meal and occasionally will sweep the rest of the house as well (we have one level all hardwood/tile. The 4yr old and even my 1 yr old can push around the Swiffer sweeper. I don't pay them for it...I view it as part of living in the household.

 

I also have 2-3 pick up times throughout the day as well where we all pitch in.

[Walking-Iris]

My house is always a mess. I try to keep it sanitary, but as far as clutter---yeah it's an endless battle. Children are perfect little examples of the laws of entropy. I try to do a little each day as I go about my business. I insist that they pick up in the front room and kitchen each day. There will be hell to pay if they leave dirty clothes in the bathroom. I alternate kitchen clean up duties with my dh. The two bigger kids are responsible for putting their folded clothes away after I do the laundry. I try to carve out time for bigger projects like washing windows or cleaning out a closet. But mostly with 5 people in the house and 3 of them being male :lol: my house is always a mess.

[Dealea86]

Your mother sounds like my mom and MIL. :)

 

I grew up just like you - my mom always did the cleaning. She wouldn't even let us try to help much of the time. I'm naturally a packrat and not very organized, and I never really learned how to do much housework (my first college roommate had to teach me how to run a load of laundry), so housework has always been very hard for me. Being pregnant with a 3-year-old around the house has made it so much more of a challenge.

 

My MIL is even more OCD about cleaning than my mom. We've had the house professionally cleaned before she came, and she still found things that were messy. :tongue_smilie:

 

Our 'homeschool' hardly takes any time, of course - DD likes to read her phonics books and she likes me to do some read-alouds, but other than that she pretty much plays all day. Plus we have a dog (though she's non-shedding). The house pretty much always looks messy. I do most of my serious cleaning on the weekends when DH takes DD to the park or the zoo.

[Dustybug]

I also wanted to add that I can knock out our schooling for both the 4 and the 6 year old in about 2 1/2 hours tops. If your schoolwork is taking much longer than that, I would maybe look into cutting some back for this age.

[KatieJ]

Fairly organized, mostly tidy.

 

I like the Flylady, but I prefer the Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.), which is where Flylady got her start.

 

Here's something I see about your schedule: "homeschool, activities, playdates." My very strong recommendation, especially for people whose dc are as young as yours, is to stay home as much as possible. Pick a day of the week for outside activities (for me, Thursday was better; that gave me three uninterrupted days at home), and only go out on that day. No playdates, if they are not on that day (I never even heard the word "playdate" until I started posting here on WTM). And with a 6yo, your Official Homeschool Stuff shouldn't take that long. If it is, you might also consider reworking that, too.

 

Also, for me having one dedicated day to cleaning house worked best. I did everything on Friday--laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, everything. During the week I did maintanence, including cleaning the kitchen immediately after a meal and putting things away regularly.

 

I didn't expect anyone to help me. My job. I did teach the dc to pick up things and train them to clean and whatnot, but I decided the schedule and did things when they needed to be done.

 

 

:iagree: This was pretty much our schedule too altho I dind't have regular plans for Thursday, we did do the cleaning on Fridays leaving Saturdays to spend with Dad or Marching Band during that season of our life.

[SorrelZG]

My house is fairly clean and organized and was when the kids were younger, too.

The key for us is to have little stuff. Declutter. The fewer things need places, the less time it takes to clean up.

Also, every thing has a place and gets put away immediately. No piles of things to find homes for later.

 

Expectations? Spotless is too much of an expectation for me. Our house looks lived in, but not dirty. We clean when it is necessary, not on schedule.

My standard is to be ready for drop in company, but not ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot.

Laudry gets done when I have enough dirty clothes for a full load.

Ironing - only work clothes for DH and myself.

 

 

This is pretty much the case at my home. I'm thankful for my relatively small home and have done a LOT of decluttering (never ending). I'm all about keeping cleaning to a minimum so I have time for more important things but I can't function in a mess so I keep my home low maintenance and I quit caring about perfect. At this point I'm able to keep my home in a pretty constant state of cleanliness and order. There is a strategy and a very flexible schedule at work, though.

[Sctigermom]

I also wanted to add that I can knock out our schooling for both the 4 and the 6 year old in about 2 1/2 hours tops. If your schoolwork is taking much longer than that, I would maybe look into cutting some back for this age.

It doesn't take longer than that for the "School" part of it, but add in snack times, lunch, nursing the baby, and changing diapers well then it's an all day affair!

[Annie Laurie]

Yep and I don't feel bad about it or worry about it. I am just now emerging from 18 months of interrupted sleep which often totaled 4 hours or less a night, and my baby was so fussy and into everything for so long that there was nothing I could do about it.

 

I also have an ocd, type a, neat freak mother, and my MIL and grandmother are neat freaks too. I could tell my grandma disapproved of my house when she visited because she had 7 children she raised in the 50s and their house was always immaculate. But her kids went off to school all day for one, and she was more willing to spend all day doing laundry, ironing, cooking, and cleaning than I am.

 

It goes in cycles. When my middle three (now 11, 10, and 8) were young my house was always a mess. Then when they were all 4 and above, I finally got a handle on my house and it was almost always very neat. I spent Fridays doing a deep clean and spent a couple of hours after school doing maintenance. Now I have an 18 month old and it's messy again, not as bad as when all of the kids were little because my older kids do pitch in a lot, just not up to where I'd like to see it- sometimes they don't clean something as well as I'd like and the windows are all dirty, but the floors and bathroom and kitchen are clean enough and things are put away.

 

But we do live here and it will get better again when the baby's older.

[Canadianmumof5]

No, but only because DH is awesome and spends a lot of time cleaning up when he gets home.

[mom2scouts]

My house is almost always messy. I rarely get the whole house in what I would consider a clean enough stage. I'm easily distracted and easily bored and I usually have more projects in progress than any one person could ever get done. Right now I have my dd's dance costumes stacked on the couch because they need some attention before the recital. Several pieces of curriculum are on my desk because I'm working on getting it into HST+. I have paperwork in front of me that needs attention. I have Scout shirts out that need new patches attached. I usually have a basket of clean clothes ready to be folded and/or put away and I got distracted. Sometimes I don't make the bed because I'm hoping I"ll get around to changing the sheets that day. It's odd because I like to plan and most of my friends are in awe of how well I keep track of activities and appointments and how well organized I am for homeschooling. My husband has hoarding tendencies and one of my children has a lot of trouble letting go of anything, so clutter makes it harder to keep up too.

[Annie Laurie]

It doesn't take longer than that for the "School" part of it, but add in snack times, lunch, nursing the baby, and changing diapers well then it's an all day affair!

 

Oh yes, when there's a baby around you can't just keep going uninterrupted. I don't take Fridays off to clean anymore because we can't get everything done over 4 days anymore.

 

Truthfully, I like cleaning when I can clean uninterrupted. When I'm in a bad mood, cleaning makes me feel better. I can see the results of my work and a clean house is a real concrete sense of accomplishment.

 

But, I always think of that article SWB wrote in the MP catalog.

 

http://www.memoriapress.com/articles/Stop-cleaning-the-kitchen.html

 

Even before the baby I would take off to clean too often when we should have been doing school work, and I have come to see that school is way more important than a spotless house. I can have a spotless house when my kids are gone.

[gardening momma]

 

So are you able to homeschool and keep an organize and pretty spotless house or is it a mess like mine?

It's probably worse than yours. :)

[bamagirl]

I think striving for a "spotless" house with young children IS setting yourself up for failure...they need to be kids! My house is rarely spotless, but it's not nasty or filthy either.

 

Like a pp said, it really depends on the time of day, how messy it looks. We don't have a playroom, so at any given time our living area is strewn with legos, cars, dolls, etc. We have a pickup time before daddy gets home...he has an hour commute, so he'll text me when he leaves and that's our cue for pickup time!

 

Our home days are Mon and Fridays, these are the days I clean bathrooms, do floors, dust, get caught up on laundry, change sheets, etc. We just try to mainitain during the other days.

 

The kids are responsible for keeping their rooms clean...all toys off floor and bed.

[Dustybug]

It doesn't take longer than that for the "School" part of it, but add in snack times, lunch, nursing the baby, and changing diapers well then it's an all day affair!

 

I get that. I still do all of that stuff too. In fact, I'm NAK right now. :tongue_smilie:

 

Some days, I split it up. I do the 4yo stuff in the morning after breakfast and then wait until the afternoon when the younger two are napping to do work with my 6yo. Would something like that work for you?

[MissKNG]

My house stays clean and very presentable. I don't believe in the "excuse the mess" line! My secret...I'm just wired to constantly move for some reason:D! I am always moving, spot cleaning, doing dishes, picking up, etc. The girls also help tidy their messes as well. The main living areas and the girl's rooms and bathroom are kept the cleanest. I do admit my bedroom and bathroom suffer the most. No one goes in there though!

 

ETA: In my case, it's not realistic nor setting myself up for failure. I just do it...OCD probably. And I babysit two additional small children full time M-F so I have plenty of snacks, meals, diapers, etc to deal with.

 

ETA #2: We don't have pets that are loose so that probably helps. We do have mice so I am running the little sweeper a lot to pick up the bedding pieces that end up floating around.

Edited June 8, 2012 by MissKNG

[Bluegoat]

I grew up in a house that was always spotless. My mother can not function any other way, and she worked FT as a nurse as well.

 

The thing is, while she was a pretty dedicated mom, I don't have any memories of just spending time with her in her lap or looking at things or talking about things.

 

I'd much rather have some untidiness and more time together.

[marbel]

Mine is almost always messy. It's not a total pit or anything, but there is clutter, and this time of year lots and lots of dog hair no matter how many times I vacuum.

 

This is our house exactly.

 

Our house is small, and we simply don't have a place for everything. I admire those who do. ;) We do have emergency cleanups when we are expecting company, but most of the time there is, at the very least, one or two large piles of homeschooling books and other materials on the living room floor, my daughter's craft projects scattered around, and a sink full of dirty dishes. (My dishwasher has been broken for a while.)

 

If the book piles are neat, I don't bother cleaning them up for company, unless they will be in the way or scattered by a young guest.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My house is relatively clean. I have things that matter to me to keep clean and things that I don't care so much about. I have to stay constantly on top of things in order to maintain a certain level of order and cleanliness. If I get busy with other things, the house slips and gets messy and dirty very quickly.

 

That said, my kids are getting a little older, so it's easier. When my kids were younger, I spent much more time taking care of them, playing with them, reading to them, etc. My house was often a complete disaster area when they were younger. Now that I've been babysitting an infant for 4 months, my house is getting much messier during the day than it has been for a long time. I'm scheduled to start watching another baby at the end of June. I'm expecting my house will be utter chaos during the day, and I hope to catch up in the evenings and on weekends.

[funschooler5]

I am an only child and grew up in a spotless house that was constantly cleaned by my ocd mother. I've never been the best housekeeper. In fact when I moved into my 1st apartment my mother came over on Saturdays and cleaned it and did my laundry. Fast forward 10 years and I'm married with 3 kids. No matter what I do I can not seem to keep our house clean. I have tried organizing it to the extreme, but with no one helping keep it organized it doesn't stay that way. With a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old, homeschool, activities, playdates, and doctors appointments I barely have time to eat and sleep. I've read a bunch of home organizing/cleaning blogs and books and I've tried flylady, but no matter what I do I can't keep the house where I would like. Maybe my expectations are set too high and I'm setting myself up for failure. So are you able to homeschool and keep an organize and pretty spotless house or is it a mess like mine?

 

You sound like me. I was an only child, and my mom did all of the cleaning around the house. The only thing I ever had to do was clean my room and empty the dishwasher. I didn't learn how to do laundry until after I moved out. When DH and I started living together, he had to explain to me that you have to wash dishes in *hot* water...I thought it didn't matter (we actually called the 1-800 number on the back of the Dawn bottle to settle the argument :lol:)

 

So, yes, I've had a heck of a time keeping the house clean. Some might say it's an easy skill to learn, but really it's a whole different way of thinking for me. I've gone through phases where I've been able to keep up on it, but if something out of the ordinary happens (say, a time-consuming curriculum or a new baby) it throws me off-kilter.

 

Now that my kids are getting older, DH has insisted they help out. I'll admit, I felt--still feel--sometimes some guilt over the amount of housework that they do. From listening to friends and reading the WTM boards I know they don't do a huge amount, but because I never had to do *anything,* as a kid, it sometimes seems like a "punishment" to me. Deep down though I know that they are learning valuable skills, and it really makes our lives so much easier, especially with the new baby. If everyone keeps up on their tasks, everyone has to do less.

 

For instance, DS gets up, takes a shower, feeds the dog and cats, walks the dogs, and empties the garbage before starting on his schoolwork. I am still amazed that he does all that without being asked (he as ADHD and can get a bit scatterbrained at times). Every once in awhile he'll forget something, but for the most part, he's right on top of it. I honestly got tears in my eyes the day that we forgot to bring the garbage cans to the curb and DS noticed that it was garbage day and did it himself before the garbage truck got there. :lol: And he notices if the garbage can is getting full and empties it without being asked. Not a big deal in some families, but here it was a major breakthrough.

 

DD14 is different in that she needs to be told to do things. She'll try to avoid her chore (cleaning the kitchen, which is just doing the dishes and the counters and table). Even though she knows she needs to do it every night, we still have to remind her. Sometimes she'll cook dinner, and my rule is if you cook dinner you don't have to do the dishes, so I'll do them. Either way, it's a major load off me.

 

DD6 is in charge of picking up the living room, which is usually littered with her stuff anyway.

 

Oh, and DS is in charge of the upstairs bathroom, because he's the one that makes the biggest mess. He doesn't do the greatest job, but he keeps the clothes off the floor and the counters clear. I just go in periodically and sanitize stuff.

 

That pretty much just leaves me with sweeping, mopping, downstairs bathroom, laundry (though DD14 will wash her own...I'm still folding it for her, but I plan on getting her on that soon :tongue_smilie:). I was doing pretty well keeping up on all of this when I was pregnant, but now that the baby is here, I do it in bits and pieces and it doesn't always get done. Okay, that's an understatement. :tongue_smilie:

[KrissiK]

Well, if Spotless was 10 and a Disaster Area was 1, my house would probably be a 6-7 most of the time. We have a cleaning service come in once a week. Also, I have divided the main living area into zones. So, at least once a day (at a time when I have leverage, like "before you watch tv" or "before you sit down to dinner") the kids have to clean up their zones. That helps a lot!

[sagira]

Messy. Very messy. My house often looks like the Clean Sweep crew needs to come and fix it. I like to watch the show Hoarders because everyone else's home (people around me) seems much, much cleaner than mine and it's annoying. Hoarders makes me feel like I'm not so bad and like getting rid of stuff, and I like that. We've been decluttering lately, but to most everybody's standards, it still looks messy. Dh spends 4 hours at a time cleaning in one room. Our room is bigger so it's taking days (with lots of interruptions).

 

We stress the importance of cleaning, but it doesn't come naturally to both dh or I. He grew up in a messy and disorganized home, I grew up in an organized but a bit dusty home. I remember my dad cleaning up left and right in a brisk fashion, and my mom complaining about cleaning but never leaving anything out of its place and arguing with me about tidying up. In fact, that's all I remember arguing about. She says I drove her up a wall. She couldn't make me clean no matter what. It was frustrating, and I still don't like it and don't know how to do it properly. I'm working on it, though. It's a bit alarming that I do have 4 other bodies making messes, though. I can't seem to keep a place clean by myself.

[sewingmama]

Messy. Very messy. My house often looks like the Clean Sweep crew needs to come and fix it.

 

:iagree:

 

I grew up with an OCD mother -house was always spotless but I hated it because she would always say we had to "wait" to do things with her until the house was clean - and she spent many hours cleaning so it was a long wait :glare:

 

However I got used to the cleanliness and became slightly OCD myself - I had a spotless house until I had kids :001_huh:

 

Now with 4 people trashing the house (my DH does not ever clean anything or pick up after himself either) no matter how much I clean I can't keep up. I am also responsible for the yard because DH won't touch it - and that often gets overgrown as I don't have the muscle strength to weed as much as I'd like because I have an autoimmune disease which makes my body lethargic and exhausted without much effort so some days schooling is all I can do before I collapse.

 

My house is not unsanitary but it is messy - not helped by children who are creative and always making something. :lol:

 

My DH is a packrat too -he is always bring more junk home and never letting me throw anything out :glare:

 

We have so much junk stored here I don't even know where to start :001_huh:

 

It's likely we are moving soon - I'm planning to do a LOT of decluttering then.

[usvichic]

My DH likes the house spotless... I just laugh. Our home is pretty open to the elements, so it can get messy, but I do vacuum at least 3x a week and the kitchen is cleaned a LOT during each day. The bathrooms, mopping, dusting, that gets done maybe 1x a week. We ahem, I , do clutter, and I KNOW I need to be better about that, but I have a hard time putting things away when I still using them..... It's taken me a long time to realize that myDH and I just have different styles and if he wants it neater, he needs to do it himself.

[Mommyof4ks]

Mine is usually messy. My kids ask who is coming over when we start cleaning everything, and I usually have a name for them. :D I do not like a big mess, but my house is never perfect.

[chepyl]

I am pregnant, we own a performing arts academy, we had recital 3 weeks ago, a musical this week, and a musical next weekend....I make costumes....we have a small house amd lots of stuff....use your imagination ;) then multiply by 100!!!

 

 

Really it is.not that bad. The bathroom has been cleaned weekly. The laudry is clean, except sheets. Nothing is folded...but it is clean. The playroom is a pile of legos and ponies. My room is covered in toys and dh's clothes. Dishes are clean. There is just clutter! I have to survive next week. Then I have 6 weeks to get the house back in order! When not pregnant, I can manage shows and a cleanse house, but I am drained!