Sad moment. I'm sitting in Starbucks looking at our "adult daycare" options..........

[Joanne]

I'm 46. My husband is 60.

 

If/when I get a job (or go back to teaching in August), I will need to make sure he's safe during the day. It seems that some form of home service/healthcare is cheapest, but I don't think that will be enough (wait for it................)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

socialization. :glare::001_huh::lol: Forgive me if you don't share my humor; it's been my coping mechanism.

 

Really, though, he doesn't need *medical* care daily. He needs supervision, meals, and interaction. Homehealth would be cheaper, but he wouldn't have people.

[bzymom]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Your strength, humor and grace are admirable. I hope there are happy moments for both of you on the horizon.

[Rosie_0801]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I'm so sorry.....I wish I knew what else to say.

[Mommy22alyns]

:grouphug: Well, you do still have your sense of humor. :grouphug:

 

ETA: My DH is 14 years older too.

[applethyme]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Dobela]

Could home health go with him to the local senior citizens center?

[DianeW88]

I'm so sorry, Joanne. :grouphug: I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. :grouphug:

[Joanne]

Could home health go with him to the local senior citizens center?

 

Well, other than transportation, there would be no "need" for the double up on services.

[Susan C.]

Community center? (might be the same as senior citizens center)

 

Drop him on the way to work, pick him up on the way home?

 

There are a lot of retirees where I live, over 55 communities only require one of the spouses to be "of age" and there are tons of activities in those communities.

Edited May 15, 2012 by Susan C.

[bettyandbob]

:grouphug:

[Gentlemommy]

:grouphug:I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. :grouphug:

[itsheresomewhere]

I don't know if all places do this but one of my friends has a home health aide for her son when she is at work. The child is really an adult. The aide takes the boy places with others once a week. The aide really goes above and beyond to make sure that socialization happens. He has a list from the senior center and picks out what might peak his interests.

 

Is there any Home Health Aides like this near you?

[Joanne]

I don't know if all places do this but one of my friends has a home health aide for her son when she is at work. The child is really an adult. The aide takes the boy places with others once a week. The aide really goes above and beyond to make sure that socialization happens. He has a list from the senior center and picks out what might peak his interests.

 

Is there any Home Health Aides like this near you?

 

Yes. In fact, this service is more available than nearby adult daycare. It's on the list of possibilities.

 

A lot of what happens next depends on what job(s) I get.

[Heatherwith4]

:grouphug:

[Ibbygirl]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Mabeline]

:grouphug:

[emzhengjiu]

:grouphug:

[Dobela]

Well, other than transportation, there would be no "need" for the double up on services.

Our Senior Citizen centers are more like hang outs or social clubs than day time day cares. They have many activities for people to do but they could not (or would not) provide supervision. Your home health person would have to provide the supervision that he needs.

[EKS]

:grouphug:

[KristinaBreece]

Forgive me if you don't share my humor; it's been my coping mechanism.

 

Really, though, he doesn't need *medical* care daily. He needs supervision, meals, and interaction. Homehealth would be cheaper, but he wouldn't have people.

 

A good sense of humor is important when you're dealing with a long-term situation like you have been. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

I've worked as a homemaker/personal care worker and for most of my clients, a lot of our service time was spent on outings. We had clients who went to adult day care, but a lot of what was needed was taking people to euchre day at the local senior center, or things like that. Our senior center doesn't offer any support services, though.... If it did, we would have been redundant and unnecessary for a lot of people.

 

ETA: You might want to look and see if your area has something like this. They provide supervision, transportation, meals, socialization, and employment. It's a great program, but I don't know if there are places like this everywhere.

Edited May 15, 2012 by KristinaBreece

[Joanne]

Our Senior Citizen centers are more like hang outs or social clubs than day time day cares. They have many activities for people to do but they could not (or would not) provide supervision. Your home health person would have to provide the supervision that he needs.

 

Ah. I am not looking at Senior Centers. Without supervision, he's beyond that. He needs adult daycare.

[Dolphin]

Ah. I am not looking at Senior Centers. Without supervision, he's beyond that. He needs adult daycare.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I hope the answer becomes clear for you. I hate making decisions. :grouphug:

 

Humor is always good.

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Melinda in VT]

I have no advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you continue to be in my thoughts.

[Susan C.]

Would an assisted living center allow a day visitor?

[FaithManor]

Ah. I am not looking at Senior Centers. Without supervision, he's beyond that. He needs adult daycare.

 

 

Joanne, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I only have one idea for you. When my grandmother was widowed in her early 60's (still in very, very good health) she needed income to supplement her SS because she couldn't live on it alone. She only had an 8th grade education, but a warm heart and was a great housekeeper/cook. She began doing in home care for ambulatory persons who did not require a lot of trained medical knowledge of their aide. Now, this was in the 80's and so you would have to adjust prices...she did this for $150 per week and the going rate for mileage if she took her charge for errands or to appointments. She made breakfast and lunch, did light housework, read aloud to the elders she watched over, puzzles, walks, board games, etc. She would usually do this M-F (generally 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. though in one instance she actually lived with a family but had weekends off except for cooking Saturday morning breakfast) for one family until that person needed increased medical care and sometimes was with a family for 2 or more yrs. She did this until she developed a heart condition at the age of 70. She really enjoyed the work and she found all of her jobs just through advertising by word of mouth at local hospitals.

 

Maybe you could find someone in similar circumstances who would need to make some extra money and would have a heart for the work.

 

I am so sorry.

 

Faith

[Joanne]

Joanne, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I only have one idea for you. When my grandmother was widowed in her early 60's (still in very, very good health) she needed income to supplement her SS because she couldn't live on it alone. She only had an 8th grade education, but a warm heart and was a great housekeeper/cook. She began doing in home care for ambulatory persons who did not require a lot of trained medical knowledge of their aide. Now, this was in the 80's and so you would have to adjust prices...she did this for $150 per week and the going rate for mileage if she took her charge for errands or to appointments. She made breakfast and lunch, did light housework, read aloud to the elders she watched over, puzzles, walks, board games, etc. She would usually do this M-F (generally 7:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. though in one instance she actually lived with a family but had weekends off except for cooking Saturday morning breakfast) for one family until that person needed increased medical care and sometimes was with a family for 2 or more yrs. She did this until she developed a heart condition at the age of 70. She really enjoyed the work and she found all of her jobs just through advertising by word of mouth at local hospitals.

 

Maybe you could find someone in similar circumstances who would need to make some extra money and would have a heart for the work.

 

I am so sorry.

 

Faith

 

What a story of resourcefulness, and character! This is exactly what he'd need. :)

 

I am currently looking at:

 

http://www.brookwoodcommunity.org/

[Annie G]

No ideas to help you, but sending :grouphug:

[Starr]

Praying this all comes together for you. :grouphug: The Brookwood site looks promising if it's affordable.

[Irishmommy]

I used to live in Katy and I have heard nothing but positive things about Brookwood. I hope and pray that you have peace with whatever you choose! :grouphug:

[stripe]

Maybe you could find someone in similar circumstances who would need to make some extra money and would have a heart for the work.

 

Where I grew up, it was mostly immigrant ladies who did this sort of work, often ones with some amount of nursing experience (either hands on or a degree such as LVN). I had a friend in college whose mother worked doing this sort of in-home care, and she herself did it during summer vacation. I have an elderly relative who did not go into a nursing home precisely because she needed only minimal medical care, mostly assistance with grooming needs as well as help with meals and taking medicines, and it was much more affordable to hire someone to stay in her home (she had two different ladies, each on shifts, I think, but I am not exactly sure).

 

I hope you can find someone to help you.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I am so sorry Joanne. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Heather in Neverland]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[TravelingChris]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Brigitte]

Our local YWCA offers adult daycare. You might want to check yours. I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. :grouphug:

[Cinder]

:grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[J-rap]

I wonder if you can do a combination of things, so his days remain a little more interesting. Maybe a home health person for two days, and then an adult day center where he can go for a couple of days and be with other people.

 

Joanne, I don't know your situation very well. Do you have kids at home that are homeschooled? If so, are they able to help out? If so, maybe you could do a combination of the above, and add to the mix one day/week with the children being with him/caring for him.

 

I wonder if you could find someone who is going to school part-time (maybe even someone in the medical field). If you had an extra room in your home, you could offer them a free place to stay in exchange for them being a companion for your husband during certain hours. (I knew of a situation like that, once.)

 

Maybe none of those suggestions are appropriate at all. Just trying to brainstorm a little...

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I appreciated the humor. -- don't lose that....it will keep you going.:grouphug:

[ezrabean2005]

:grouphug:

You are a strong, amazing woman and a wonderful life partner. I hope you have peace during this challenging time.

:grouphug: