If you've been following my situation...update.

[Julie in CA]

Thank you.

 

My dh has finally agreed to get a check-up.

I wish I could say that my depression was suddenly lifted, but maybe that will come later. At this point I'm praying that his appointment will be productive, and that there is no serious issue causing his symptoms.

 

Anyway, thanks again.

Edited April 22, 2012 by Julie in CA

[Denisemomof4]

:grouphug:

[houseofkids&pets]

:grouphug::grouphug: Best of luck to you and dh. Hope all goes well.

[Harriet Vane]

Thanks for the update. I pray answers will be found and the prognosis, good. :grouphug:

[Jen in PA]

:grouphug:

[Starr]

It's so hard to get to the doctor. I'm glad he's going. :grouphug:

[besroma]

:grouphug:

[KidsHappen]

:grouphug: I am so glad to hear that. I hope that everything works out for you guys. :grouphug:

[justamouse]

:grouphug: We'll keep you both in our prayers!

[Audrey]

I'm so glad to hear that, Julie. It is so hard when you love someone who won't/doesn't take care of themselves. Hang in there. :grouphug:

[jrn]

:grouphug:

[QueenCat]

:grouphug:Julie, so glad you are making some progress.

[Teachin'Mine]

Praying for good answers and solutions. :grouphug:

[Jen500]

:grouphug:

[Desert Rat]

Thanks for the update, Julie. I'm glad your dh decided to go. I hope that all goes well and there is an "easy fix".

[plain jane]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[SonshineLearner]

:grouphug:

[Beth in OH]

Julie,

 

I want to encourage you to keep walking it out--one day at a time. I've been on this journey, and it has been a long one (years, not months). But, all aspects of individual, couple, and family life are much, much better. In hindsight, I can see God's hand in all of it.

 

You have my prayers.

 

Beth

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

Julie,

 

I want to encourage you to keep walking it out--one day at a time. I've been on this journey, and it has been a long one (years, not months).

Thanks Beth. I think I had 3 big fears:

#1. That I'd never be able to convince him to go to the doc at all.

#2. That his symptoms would be a sign of a much more serious issue which may now be more difficult to treat because he's waited over a year.

#3. That the doctor he's likely to see might miss the diagnosis or dismiss this as a mental/emotional/stress issue rather than following through, and I don't know a better doctor to send him to.

 

So, #1 is crossed off my list, but #2 and #3 are still looming large. :sad:

[Catwoman]

I'm glad to hear he has agreed to see a doctor. Will you be going with him? Do you think he will be honest with the doctor, or that he might downplay his symptoms so the doctor will "agree" with him that nothing is seriously wrong, without ordering any tests?

 

Whatever the case, you've overcome a huge hurdle, and I'm relieved to hear that your dh is showing at least some interest in finding out what's going on.

 

I hope it's nothing serious, but I also hope the doctor is very thorough. At the very least, make sure he or she orders lots of blood tests. If the doctor tries to dismiss any of the symptoms as being from stress, please be sure your dh asks for the blood work to rule out any other possibilities -- and also make sure your dh tells the doctor that the symptoms aren't brand new, but that he has had them for many months.

 

When is his appointment?

[Julie in CA]

I'm glad to hear he has agreed to see a doctor. Will you be going with him? Do you think he will be honest with the doctor, or that he might downplay his symptoms so the doctor will "agree" with him that nothing is seriously wrong, without ordering any tests?

 

Whatever the case, you've overcome a huge hurdle, and I'm relieved to hear that your dh is showing at least some interest in finding out what's going on.

 

I hope it's nothing serious, but I also hope the doctor is very thorough. At the very least, make sure he or she orders lots of blood tests. If the doctor tries to dismiss any of the symptoms as being from stress, please be sure your dh asks for the blood work to rule out any other possibilities -- and also make sure your dh tells the doctor that the symptoms aren't brand new, but that he has had them for many months.

 

When is his appointment?

I haven't made the appointment yet, because he agreed to it Thursday night, and then I was gone all day on Friday, and then it was the weekend...{sigh}.

 

My dh agreed to a thorough check-up, but no, I don't think he'll mention any symptoms, because he still denies that there's anything really wrong. :001_huh:

 

What's keeping me from picking up the phone this minute and making the appointment is that I don't know who to call. Dh has had "quickie" physicals in order to renew a license with a doctor in town, but that doc doesn't really have a very good reputation. I'd send him to my doc, who I know is thorough, and who already understands the situation, but well...she's a gal, and I don't think that's probably the most comfortable situation for dh.

 

My doc is in practice with her dh (a family practice doc), and that seems like a good idea, but I've seen her dh a couple of times, and he seems kind of, well, refined & city-slicker for my farmer-type dh.

 

I know I'm overthinking this, but it feels like I get *one shot* at making this happen, and the decision on where to make the appointment feels HUGE, since dh might never (probably will never) agree to this again. What if the doc misses that it turns out to be cancer? What if he orders the wrong tests, and not the free Testosterone that I know my dh should have, along with whatever is appropriate to rule out (or in) cancer? :001_unsure:

 

I feel sick.

[In the Rain]

:grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

I'm just seeing this and praying you find the right doctor. :grouphug:

[Sasharowan]

I haven't made the appointment yet, because he agreed to it Thursday night, and then I was gone all day on Friday, and then it was the weekend...{sigh}.

 

My dh agreed to a thorough check-up, but no, I don't think he'll mention any symptoms, because he still denies that there's anything really wrong. :001_huh:

 

What's keeping me from picking up the phone this minute and making the appointment is that I don't know who to call. Dh has had "quickie" physicals in order to renew a license with a doctor in town, but that doc doesn't really have a very good reputation. I'd send him to my doc, who I know is thorough, and who already understands the situation, but well...she's a gal, and I don't think that's probably the most comfortable situation for dh.

 

My doc is in practice with her dh (a family practice doc), and that seems like a good idea, but I've seen her dh a couple of times, and he seems kind of, well, refined & city-slicker for my farmer-type dh.

 

I know I'm overthinking this, but it feels like I get *one shot* at making this happen, and the decision on where to make the appointment feels HUGE, since dh might never (probably will never) agree to this again. What if the doc misses that it turns out to be cancer? What if he orders the wrong tests, and not the free Testosterone that I know my dh should have, along with whatever is appropriate to rule out (or in) cancer? :001_unsure:

 

I feel sick.

 

Can you call your dr., explain the situation to her and ask her for a recommendation?

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug: :grouphug: Praying

[A.Balaban]

Can you call your dr., explain the situation to her and ask her for a recommendation?

 

:iagree:

 

Don't stress about the details. Just one day at a time. :grouphug:

If your DH goes to the Dr, but doesn't mention the details of his symptoms... IMHO that is the same as not going to the Dr. If he's not going to be honest, I wouldn't bother. Dr can't be a mind reader, so you will feel false hope that things are getting dealt with.

I am praying this gets dealt with... :grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

:iagree:

 

Don't stress about the details. Just one day at a time. :grouphug:

If your DH goes to the Dr, but doesn't mention the details of his symptoms... IMHO that is the same as not going to the Dr. If he's not going to be honest, I wouldn't bother. Dr can't be a mind reader, so you will feel false hope that things are getting dealt with.

I am praying this gets dealt with... :grouphug:

Since I'm making the appointment, presumably I will be able to tell them what the appointment is for. If the doc asks him, my dh will probably be willing to discuss the problems, but my dh probably won't know how to open that conversation.

[itsheresomewhere]

You can either go with him and bring up things during the appointment or you can do what I have done. I sent a note to the doctor before hand about some things DH was having. The doctor knew me and brought things up discreetly without DH ever knowing. He would start talking in general and just ask oh do you ever do this/have any of these symptoms. According to the doctor, he gets these notes in all the time for patients who will just say I'm fine in order to get out the fastest possible.

[Lawana]

:iagree:

You can either go with him and bring up things during the appointment or you can do what I have done. I sent a note to the doctor before hand about some things DH was having. The doctor knew me and brought things up discreetly without DH ever knowing. He would start talking in general and just ask oh do you ever do this/have any of these symptoms. According to the doctor, he gets these notes in all the time for patients who will just say I'm fine in order to get out the fastest possible.

I would definitely contact the doctor ahead of time and express your concerns and relate symptoms. If your dh were to see either your doc or her husband, it would make it much simpler to communicate. You could even ask your doc to pass on info to her husband.

[Lovedtodeath]

Thanks Beth. I think I had 3 big fears:

#1. That I'd never be able to convince him to go to the doc at all.

#2. That his symptoms would be a sign of a much more serious issue which may now be more difficult to treat because he's waited over a year.

#3. That the doctor he's likely to see might miss the diagnosis or dismiss this as a mental/emotional/stress issue rather than following through, and I don't know a better doctor to send him to.

 

So, #1 is crossed off my list, but #2 and #3 are still looming large. :sad:

 

I'm glad to hear he has agreed to see a doctor. Will you be going with him? Do you think he will be honest with the doctor, or that he might downplay his symptoms so the doctor will "agree" with him that nothing is seriously wrong, without ordering any tests?

 

Whatever the case, you've overcome a huge hurdle, and I'm relieved to hear that your dh is showing at least some interest in finding out what's going on.

 

I hope it's nothing serious, but I also hope the doctor is very thorough. At the very least, make sure he or she orders lots of blood tests. If the doctor tries to dismiss any of the symptoms as being from stress, please be sure your dh asks for the blood work to rule out any other possibilities -- and also make sure your dh tells the doctor that the symptoms aren't brand new, but that he has had them for many months.

 

When is his appointment?

 

I haven't made the appointment yet, because he agreed to it Thursday night, and then I was gone all day on Friday, and then it was the weekend...{sigh}.

 

My dh agreed to a thorough check-up, but no, I don't think he'll mention any symptoms, because he still denies that there's anything really wrong. :001_huh:

 

What's keeping me from picking up the phone this minute and making the appointment is that I don't know who to call. Dh has had "quickie" physicals in order to renew a license with a doctor in town, but that doc doesn't really have a very good reputation. I'd send him to my doc, who I know is thorough, and who already understands the situation, but well...she's a gal, and I don't think that's probably the most comfortable situation for dh.

 

My doc is in practice with her dh (a family practice doc), and that seems like a good idea, but I've seen her dh a couple of times, and he seems kind of, well, refined & city-slicker for my farmer-type dh.

 

I know I'm overthinking this, but it feels like I get *one shot* at making this happen, and the decision on where to make the appointment feels HUGE, since dh might never (probably will never) agree to this again. What if the doc misses that it turns out to be cancer? What if he orders the wrong tests, and not the free Testosterone that I know my dh should have, along with whatever is appropriate to rule out (or in) cancer? :001_unsure:

 

I feel sick.

I will be praying over all of this. :grouphug:

[AuntieM]

You can either go with him and bring up things during the appointment or you can do what I have done. I sent a note to the doctor before hand about some things DH was having. The doctor knew me and brought things up discreetly without DH ever knowing. He would start talking in general and just ask oh do you ever do this/have any of these symptoms. According to the doctor, he gets these notes in all the time for patients who will just say I'm fine in order to get out the fastest possible.

 

I do this with my kids! I have sent notes with questions that I wanted their doc to consider but didn't want to point out in front of my kids - weight and BMi issues, for example.

 

Also, when one experienced some incontinence and was very embarrassed about it, I scheduled a separate consultation just to talk to the doc about it w/out my child. He then had a better idea of the big picture when he got to the patient.

 

The way I understand it, a doc is often happy to receive additional information. What he cannot do is tell you (the nonpatient) anything about the patient. That's private. So he can take your note, ask you to clarify things if he desires, see your dh and make a diagnosis. Then it's up to your dh to decide what info he wants to share with you.

 

One step at a time, Julie. You're on the right track. :grouphug:

[KidsHappen]

You can either go with him and bring up things during the appointment or you can do what I have done. I sent a note to the doctor before hand about some things DH was having. The doctor knew me and brought things up discreetly without DH ever knowing. He would start talking in general and just ask oh do you ever do this/have any of these symptoms. According to the doctor, he gets these notes in all the time for patients who will just say I'm fine in order to get out the fastest possible.

 

This is what I do as well. Sometimes I will just send the note with my hubby because I know that he will give it to the dr. The whole family has the same dr and has for about 8 years now. Sometimes he will check things out just to relieve my worrying. Then he will say, "Go home and tell you wife that you don't have . . ."

[Cassy]

:grouphug: Just take it one step at a time. I'm very glad to hear that you're making some progress. I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts, and hoping for a happy outcome.

 

Cassy

[Catwoman]

:iagree:

I would definitely contact the doctor ahead of time and express your concerns and relate symptoms. If your dh were to see either your doc or her husband, it would make it much simpler to communicate. You could even ask your doc to pass on info to her husband.

 

:iagree:

[KidsHappen]

Please post the results after he sees the dr. if it is not too terribly private. There may be people here who can help you with whatever you have to deal with.