What do kids eat?

[Just Kate]

Seriously...I have super picky kids and I just can't figure out what to feed them. The problem started when my family started doing lots of back and forth traveling from our old state to our new state (dh was taking on a new job). Then we lived with my parents and my mom catered to my kiddos big time. Now we are living on our own again, but my dh is working out of town through the week. For a while, it was easier on me to just fix "whatever" for dinner. But now, I am committed to fixing healthy, real meals for my kids and me. I just have no idea what to make!

 

My kids' favorites include: spaghetti (but they won't eat lasagna, baked ziti, etc.), hot dogs (yuk), chicken nuggets, tacos prepared in a very specific way, PB&J sandwiches and pancakes.

 

I have always liked the "everyone eats whatever mom cooks for dinner" philosophy, but the problem is with my dh gone, if the kids don't eat the food I cook I am stuck eating it alone.

 

Any suggestions for me?

Edited January 22, 2012 by mandos mom

[Lily_Grace]

Get tv dinner trays. Offer a small portion of what you know they will eat and offer unlimited portions of healthy options. And make foods that freeze well or are awesome leftovers, because in the beginning, you may be eating a LOT of them! They will come around, though, especially if that's it. The separated trays help, ime, because there's the option for dip or just keeping the foods apart so that they're easier to try. A lot of kids don't like the foods running into each other.

 

I follow a moderate "eat-it-or-leave-it" plan in my house. I'm not going to cajole or force at the dinner table. We talk about everything BUT the food. It's family time. HOWEVER, I also don't give out snacks or alternatives when food is left uneaten. That plate is put in the fridge to snack on until the next meal, where it is thrown out and we start again.

[Shellydon]

This week mine ate stir-fry with chowmein noodles, tacos, oven friend chicken breast, red beans and rice with sausage and pork chops. All meals are served with several cooked veggies and salad.

[Mom-ninja.]

 

I have always liked the "everyone eats whatever mom cooks for dinner" philosophy, but the problem is, with my dh gone, if the kids don't eat the food I cook, I am stuck eating it alone.

 

Any suggestions for me?

 

 

Well, this is how it is in my house. If you don't eat your dinner (I force no one) then it is wrapped up and that will be your lunch the following day.

 

There are times that I make something different than the main meal I'm cooking for one of my kids, but that's for food allergies only. For example, one of my sons gets sick when he eats quinoa, so I will make rice for him instead.

 

 

You could always start by making food your kids like in a healthier way as you transition. As for hot dogs Applegate Farms has nitrate free ones.

 

Pancakes are great for sneaking in healthy stuff. Try putting quinoa (already cooked) into the batter. So many things to choose from like ground flax, teff, amaranth that is great for putting in batter. Also try mixing flours for pancake batter. Buckwheat flour is one example.

 

Your kids are young and exposure plays a big part. Children require a lot of exposure to a new food before they will try it. So just keep serving something and eventually (sometimes a long eventually) they will try it.

 

We have leafy greens at almost every meal. At first my kids wouldn't touch it. Yet, now they eat it. They like eating "leaves" including my 3 year old.

 

Good luck.

[eternalknot]

Can you start by tweaking some of their current favorites?

 

Spaghetti - maybe mix it up with a primavera? You could start by sauteeting and serving the veggies separately, in smaller amounts, and gradually work towards serving one integrated pasta meal minus the red sauce.

 

Hot dogs - may you could cut them and serve with beans? Or instead of buns, try serving them open-faced on toasted bread (cut in half lengthwise). I've never eaten a hot dog so I don't know what flavors "go" with it but you could make some sort of open faced sandwich and add something. Sliced onion? Sliced swiss cheese? Sliced melted tomato? Sliced fresh cucumber?

 

Chicken nuggets - maybe try incorporating these into another meal? Chicken nuggets, served hot or cold, atop salad greens? Or in a wrap with shredded lettuce and cheese, diced tomato, with dressing?

 

I'm thinking you can ease into it. Start off by saying today we're eating hot dog this way and tomorrow we're eating the more familiar way, and from here on out we'll sometimes do it this way and other times do it that way. "YOu don't have to like it, but you have to try it." Perhaps having a Friday pizza night mentality can help, too; if every x-night each week is designated as an old favorite, maybe trying new foods will seem less threatening? Maybe not for your kids' ages, but ... maybe ...?

 

And frankly, I've had conversations with my friend's kids that mealtime isn't all about them and their personal favorites! They hadn't ever considered that their mom had feelings and favorites, too! They've worked on trying new foods (and tolerating them w/o whining, though sometimes leaving a bit hungry!) because they loved their mom and realized they had been a bit selfish. Her kids are 6 and 11. They'll try new foods at my house because they're being raised to be polite as guests; it's been a work in progress, and since I love them as my own it's been a good, safe place for them to learn this skill. Sure hasn't happened overnight! Is there friend or family near you that could serve the same kind of function on a monthly or so basis?

[silliness7]

Seriously...I have super picky kids and I just can't figure out what to feed them. The problem started when my family started doing lots of back and forth traveling from our old state to our new state (dh was taking on a new job). Then we lived with my parents and my mom catered to my kiddos big time. Now we are living on our own again, but my dh is working out of town through the week. For a while, it was easier on me to just fix "whatever" for dinner. But now, I am committed to fixing healthy, real meals for my kids and me. I just have no idea what to make!

 

My kids' favorites include: spaghetti (but they won't eat lasagna, baked ziti, etc.), hot dogs (yuk), chicken nuggets, tacos prepared in a very specific way, PB&J sandwiches and pancakes.

 

I have always liked the "everyone eats whatever mom cooks for dinner" philosophy, but the problem is with my dh gone, if the kids don't eat the food I cook I am stuck eating it alone.

 

Any suggestions for me?

 

My kids are like your kids. For the most part I cook what they like for dinner. Over and over and over again. Slowly started adding in a few things, because they get a little bored after a while and want to broaden the menu. It's slow going and I still fix things that are only eaten by dh and me a couple of times per month.

[Mom-ninja.]

Oh, I also wanted to add that you can get a children's cookbook or two, and let them browse through it. Let them pick things they'd like to try. Then let them help you make it.

[PeacefulChaos]

I would say that if the kids don't eat what you fix, the kids don't eat. Within reason, obviously. :tongue_smilie:

Example: DD and DS7 are picky. DS7 has always been this way, and now he knows that he isn't going to get a meal catered specifically for him. He likes what we have for breakfast (cereal, usually) and he likes pretty much anything I do for lunch - pb&j, quesadillas, sandwich wraps, chicken noodle soup, chef boyardee, mini pizzas, etc. He's pickier about dinner - he says he 'doesn't like rice' when in actuality there are certain ways that it is fixed that he doesn't care for. Sometimes he just seems to decide he doesn't like the way food looks. He's required to eat a few bites, and if he can't do that without complaining, he has to go to bed. It has only happened once.

DD is a lot younger and a LOT more difficult. She's younger than yours are. She also likes breakfast and lunch, though she doesn't care for peanut butter, but I'm out of options - I'm not giving her soup or chef boyardee for lunch, so she gets pb&j more often. She's required to eat her sandwich before she gets 'dessert' at lunch - generally teddy grahams or yogurt covered raisins. If she doesn't eat the sandwich, she doesn't get dessert. I wouldn't have taken this step if she ate more things of substance. She loves fruit and veggies - the first thing she eats on a plate are green beans, if they are on it. She likes salad. She likes bread. But she's really picky about soups, meats, sandwiches, etc. She rarely wants to eat what is on her plate for dinner. She'll take a bite and hold it in her mouth forever. :) She'll clean her plate if we have hot dogs, mac and cheese, and green beans. She also likes chicken fingers and french fries, etc. This has never been a staple of her diet, so it doesn't make sense for any reason other than she just thinks it tastes good. :tongue_smilie:

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! And regarding you being the only one eating the food - leftovers for lunch, I guess! :)

[mommymonster]

My DS (6) is an extremely picky eater. We actually had to take him to "feeding clinic" when he was two because all he would eat was vanilla soy yogurt. That. Was. It. He went through four cups a day, plus soy milk. He can't tolerate textures, tastes, colors... ugh. Thankfully, the SLP we worked with introduced us to food chaining, which is essentially taking what they will eat and slowly making changes/modifications to get them to a wider range of foods that they will accept. The excellent, excellent book I read on this is Food Chaining, by Cheri Fraker, Mark Fishbein, Laura Walbert, Sibyl Cox. You can get it on Amazon (and I assume elsewhere).

 

The thought process is something like this -- take spaghetti. First, start varying the noodles (linguine, angel hair -- nothing big to start with -- then bow ties, etc). Then vary the sauce -- add veggies, do a cheese sauce, a white sauce, etc. Then deal with meat or meat alternatives (do they like meat in the sauce? if so, go to sausage, etc... if they like meatballs, try lentils instead of beef). Then notice that lasagna is a lot like spaghetti... it is spaghetti, but baked... You get the drift.

 

With hot dogs, we did hot dogs, then hot dogs with buns, then corn dogs, then weinie tots (I think that is what they are called, with the crescent rolls around small hot dogs), then rolled lunch meat in crescent rolls, then rolled lunch meat with cheese in cresent rolls, then lunch meat with cheese in bread. And wow! A new sandwich, plus a whole bunch of things along the way that he will eat. Then take off the lunch meat, and he's eating a cheese sandwich. Then to grilled cheese... ;)

 

The key is patience, which is hard. And creativity. I'm probably not doing the book justice, but you get the thought.

[LucyStoner]

It is my job to put a reasonable variety of foods in front of my kids. It is their job to eat. I don't force them to eat any specific thing but I don't short order cook either. I do not have kids who eat a ton of veggies BUT I do have kids who choose milk over juice and don't gorge on sweets. Both kids eat a ton of fruit, meat (within reason), fish, bread, eggs, cheese etc. Veggies are a tougher sell. My older son will eat broccoli, carrots, salad presently. My little one will eat spinach, broccoli, peppers, carrots but I just keep serving up all the veggies we eat and it will click at some time. I have never made food a power struggle and that has been a decision that works very well for us. My little son is more of a chocolate-sweets-dessert type but my older son is very relaxed about sweets and will consume a very moderate amount and rarely all on his own. Both kids went from eating everything to eating basically nothing but dairy, fruit and bread between 2 and 3. Then slowly adding things back in. So I have so been there with the picky/sensitive eating. I just worked with it and it got better in time.

 

Feeding the Whole Family by Cynthia Lair is a great books with tips and recipes.

Edited January 22, 2012 by kijipt

[silliness7]

My DS (6) is an extremely picky eater. We actually had to take him to "feeding clinic" when he was two because all he would eat was vanilla soy yogurt. That. Was. It. He went through four cups a day, plus soy milk. He can't tolerate textures, tastes, colors... ugh. Thankfully, the SLP we worked with introduced us to food chaining, which is essentially taking what they will eat and slowly making changes/modifications to get them to a wider range of foods that they will accept. The excellent, excellent book I read on this is Food Chaining, by Cheri Fraker, Mark Fishbein, Laura Walbert, Sibyl Cox. You can get it on Amazon (and I assume elsewhere).

 

The thought process is something like this -- take spaghetti. First, start varying the noodles (linguine, angel hair -- nothing big to start with -- then bow ties, etc). Then vary the sauce -- add veggies, do a cheese sauce, a white sauce, etc. Then deal with meat or meat alternatives (do they like meat in the sauce? if so, go to sausage, etc... if they like meatballs, try lentils instead of beef). Then notice that lasagna is a lot like spaghetti... it is spaghetti, but baked... You get the drift.

 

With hot dogs, we did hot dogs, then hot dogs with buns, then corn dogs, then weinie tots (I think that is what they are called, with the crescent rolls around small hot dogs), then rolled lunch meat in crescent rolls, then rolled lunch meat with cheese in cresent rolls, then lunch meat with cheese in bread. And wow! A new sandwich, plus a whole bunch of things along the way that he will eat. Then take off the lunch meat, and he's eating a cheese sandwich. Then to grilled cheese... ;)

 

The key is patience, which is hard. And creativity. I'm probably not doing the book justice, but you get the thought.

 

That sounds very cool!! I think we accidentally do this a little bit but imagine what we could accomplish with intentionality. I truly desire my kids to like more variety of food but they are so picky. Supper times were these huge battles for years that just left me drained. I made something for dinner 2 nights ago that is not on their list of things that they eat, but I make it once a month because I love it and so does dh. Honestly, the whining and the boycotting. Ugh!! Tonight I made something that only half of them don't like. It's my 7yo's favorite dish and some others will tolerate it. I thrive on her enthusiasm. That is all I need. Just ONE person to eat it all up and beg for more. I'm going to look for Food Chaining at the library.

Edited January 22, 2012 by silliness7

[black_midori]

 

I have always liked the "everyone eats whatever mom cooks for dinner" philosophy, but the problem is with my dh gone, if the kids don't eat the food I cook I am stuck eating it alone.

 

Any suggestions for me?

 

:iagree: I'm with you all the way!!! My dh is gone a large part of the year and it is just 2 kiddos & me eating dinner. The constant badgering to get them to eat anything out of their "comfort foods" gets exhausting, so I end up hardly cooking at all and either doing the frozen route or getting meals out way too often. Sigh. There's nothing like spending 1/2 an hour cooking some AWESOME dish only to sit down and immediately have to get cranky with the dirty looks kids give it. Mine are pretty good about just eating it (after a few "discussions"!), but they'll eat, say, 1 tiny piece and ask to be excused (and I had better not dare ask if they like it).

 

Hmm... not much help, huh?

 

Well... :bigear:

:lol::lol:

[SKL]

My kids' absolute favorite food is Indian butter chicken (murgh makhani). My light/picky eater will gorge herself on "orange chicken." Extra points if it is served with mango juice/milkshake.

[Night Elf]

My picky eater will eat grilled chicken. I can usually get him to eat fruit with meals too. He will eat apples if they are sliced thinly.

 

I like the idea of food chaining. I will have to look into that.

[Greenmama2]

My kids' absolute favorite food is Indian butter chicken (murgh makhani). My light/picky eater will gorge herself on "orange chicken." Extra points if it is served with mango juice/milkshake.

 

My kids love this too. They both abhor spicy foods to the point of rejecting things that have too much garlic, but they will empty a plate of Butter Chicken in tens seconds flat.

[armom]

I have one picky eater. I put a little of everything we are having on his plate and ask him to try the food or eat at least a few bites. This has helped him to try a few new things and actually like them. If he absolutely hates something as in beans, he has to fix a pb & j sandwich. I will not fix him something in addition to what the family is eating, and no extra snacking when he didn't eat well the previous meal. I tend to find the hungrier they are at a meal the more likely they are to try something.

[saraha]

So on this line of thinking, I want to cut my kids dependance on carbs. THey are big pasta and bread eaters. What do kids who are not eating a carb for every meal eat for lunch? We are good on dinners, my husband is a meat and veggies guy, but for lunch I usually resort to sandwiches, pasta or rice. And we are on a very limited budget, hence all of the cheap carb options. We have improved our diet in some other areas, and now I am ready to tackle this one.

[frugalmama]

We're the opposite for the most part in our family - DD will eat nearly anything, I'm the picky eater. I can't tolerate a lot of textures or anything spicy, so that makes cooking interesting when combined with all our food allergies.

 

That being said - we have a 1 bite rule for DD. You have to try at least 1 bite and try to eat it. If the texture gets her she is allowed to spit it out, and we don't try that food again.

[Xilka]

My son eats a lot.

Our rule is that he can't have seconds on the meat and carbs,

until he has finished his first serving of veg.

[Amy in NH]

...make foods that freeze well or are awesome leftovers, because in the beginning, you may be eating a LOT of them! They will come around, though, especially if that's it...

 

I follow a moderate "eat-it-or-leave-it" plan in my house. I'm not going to cajole or force at the dinner table. We talk about everything BUT the food. It's family time. HOWEVER, I also don't give out snacks or alternatives when food is left uneaten. That plate is put in the fridge to snack on until the next meal, where it is thrown out and we start again.

 

:iagree:

[sewingmama]

The excellent, excellent book I read on this is Food Chaining, by Cheri Fraker, Mark Fishbein, Laura Walbert, Sibyl Cox. You can get it on Amazon (and I assume elsewhere).

 

Thank you for this - I just ordered it. My DD has had feeding issues from birth - she is 5.5 and I've never succeeded in getting her to eat anything more then a handful of foods. She has SPD and can't tolerate many textures without vomiting.

[Cindyg]

Here is a list of what my super picky eater likes: (not including junk food)

 

Breakfast:

 

blueberry muffins

toast

toast with peanut butter

apple juice

dry cereal

almost any kind of nut

 

Lunch:

 

roast beef sandwich meat

sausage (those Jimmy Dean patties)

meatballs (again, the frozen kind)

crackers or bread

baby carrot sticks

most kinds of fresh fruit

 

Snacks:

 

Popcorn

almonds

walnuts

pecans

peanuts (particularly roasted, salted, in the shell)

crackers

beef jerky

most kinds of dried fruit

fruit roll ups

 

Supper

 

Any kind of plain meat

pasta, plain and dry

rice, plain and dry

any kind of bread, plain and dry

baby carrot sticks

almost any kind of fresh fruit

[LibraryLover]

I think keeping it as simple as possible is fine. I don't even think one needs all that much variety. I'd first work on making sure the things they liked was of the highest quality, and would elimiate nitrates, HFCS, etc. I would make sure to offer sliced fruit and veggies. If the children were drinking soda or anything sugared, I would stop buying soda.

Edited January 23, 2012 by LibraryLover

[dakarimom5]

All of my children are picky eaters. That being said, I allow them to not eat one food. For my 10 yo that is potatoes, including french fries. Everything else is a one bite rule. If you don't eat dinner than there is nothing else that night.

 

Another thing I do is only fill my house with good food. There is no sugar, gummi snacks or soda in my house. And everyone has free reign on snacks, except my 8yo who will go through 5 lbs of apples in a day if I'm not careful.

[Debbi in Texas]

I just wanted to say "Good Luck". And I don't mean that snarky, I really feel for you. My son is now 17 and has always been picky- I mean, he never would eat rice cereal no matter if I mixed it with everything imaginable and tried to feed it to him while he slept.

 

At one point, I took him to the store and let him pick out all the frozen meals he wanted. He is a little better now.

 

i feel your pain. It is not easy.

[Mergath]

At our house, you eat what I cook or you're hungry enough by the next meal to eat just about anything. ;)

 

I do have a one bite rule- dd has to try one bite of each course so she actually knows whether she likes it or not. After having one bite of something several times, she gets used to it and will eat it regularly. Plus, after one bite of three or four healthy things, I know she's getting at least a few nutrients on her picky nights.

[Jenny in Florida]

Well, mine are older now, but when they were younger their favorites included:

 

- Refried beans and rice.

- Spaghetti with marinara.

- Peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread.

- Mashed potatoes.

- Vegetable samosas.

- Mashed sweet potatoes.

- French fries or . . . wait for it . . . tater tots.

- Lentil soup.

- Toasted sunflower seeds and raisins served in pita halves. (Mostly for park day lunches.)

 

As others have said, if I were you I'd start by tweaking things they already like to make them healthier. Then, every now and then, I'd introduce something new that isn't too far off the beaten path.

[Susan in TN]

"Deli Counter" - a tray of sliced meats, cheeses, veggies/dip, fruit, and maybe some rolls or croissants. Whatever you have on hand.

 

Sweet potatoes - we have this once a week for lunch. I put the sw. pots. in the oven (whole) for 1-1.5 hours and serve with butter, honey, and apple slices.

 

My 7yo is given very small portions of foods we know he won't care for - a bite or two, and he is told that he cannot have a snack later on if his meal is not eaten. I guess that resembles the "clean-plate" club, but it's necessary in his case. He needs the nutrition.

[melissel]

I don't have time to read the whole thread, but if no one has said this...make sure they are HUNGRY by the time you serve food. I mean, don't starve them, but I have found that when really hungry, my kids will gobble down just about anything. If I give fair warning that junk food will no longer be purchased or served and then I make sure that they're hungry at dinnertime, I have less trouble. A friend pointed this trick out to me when I was trying to get more fruit and veggies into my girls--she told me to put out a tray of veggies while they were playing or watching a little TV before dinner. They're hungry enough at that point that they don't care what they're eating, and the entire tray goes :D

[Paige]

My DS (6) is an extremely picky eater. We actually had to take him to "feeding clinic" when he was two because all he would eat was vanilla soy yogurt. That. Was. It. He went through four cups a day, plus soy milk. He can't tolerate textures, tastes, colors... ugh. Thankfully, the SLP we worked with introduced us to food chaining, which is essentially taking what they will eat and slowly making changes/modifications to get them to a wider range of foods that they will accept. The excellent, excellent book I read on this is Food Chaining, by Cheri Fraker, Mark Fishbein, Laura Walbert, Sibyl Cox. You can get it on Amazon (and I assume elsewhere).

 

The thought process is something like this -- take spaghetti. First, start varying the noodles (linguine, angel hair -- nothing big to start with -- then bow ties, etc). Then vary the sauce -- add veggies, do a cheese sauce, a white sauce, etc. Then deal with meat or meat alternatives (do they like meat in the sauce? if so, go to sausage, etc... if they like meatballs, try lentils instead of beef). Then notice that lasagna is a lot like spaghetti... it is spaghetti, but baked... You get the drift.

 

With hot dogs, we did hot dogs, then hot dogs with buns, then corn dogs, then weinie tots (I think that is what they are called, with the crescent rolls around small hot dogs), then rolled lunch meat in crescent rolls, then rolled lunch meat with cheese in cresent rolls, then lunch meat with cheese in bread. And wow! A new sandwich, plus a whole bunch of things along the way that he will eat. Then take off the lunch meat, and he's eating a cheese sandwich. Then to grilled cheese... ;)

 

The key is patience, which is hard. And creativity. I'm probably not doing the book justice, but you get the thought.

 

I agree with everything, except all my girls ate was peanut butter on a spoon. Food chaining and desensitization changed our life. I really think it does children a huge disservice to accept extreme picky eating as something that cannot be changed. It makes the kids miserable and therapy- even at home- can work miracles. I agree with picking up the food chaining book. In addition to that, work up to eating by requiring the food to be on the plate, then the food must touch the lips, then a bite is taken and spit in the trash, then a bite is taken and chewed and spit out, then a bite is taken and eaten. It may take months to move through the stages but it will be worth it. You may be throwing away food and they may cry and protest at first, but it will be worth it. Therapy is hard. Changing habits is hard. But, I can attest that I had kids so picky they would sometimes eat nothing- even the peanut butter was rejected, who didn't eat a single vegetable product for over 3 years, who threw up if offensive food touched their lips, who made themselves so weak with food refusal that they literally were shaking and could not sit up or stand on a regular basis, and these kids now eat almost everything. And they like it. No more crying at birthday parties because they want to be happy and eat cake with the other kids, no more throwing up all morning because they didn't eat the night before, no longer social outcasts...and peace is in the house. Your kids may not be as bad but I believe that just means the process would be quicker and easier.

 

ETA: You should pick one food or type of food at a time to make it work best. Don't offer broccoli one night, peas another, and green beans the next day. Offer broccoli regularly until they can take a bite and swallow without throwing up or crying. Once they can take one bite ok, then you can add a new food to try and start with the put it on the plate or to your lips stage. We were told to have them "shoot it in the trash like a rocket" to make it fun.

Edited January 23, 2012 by Paige

[Slipper]

Something that may help is presentation of the food. Kids seem to like things better if it looks interesting. I bought cookie cutter shapes to cut out sandwiches. Cute plastic picks to layer fruit on. Little plastic forks (the tiny ones) are interesting to spear veggies on and dip them or to eat cheese with. I was able to increase their exposure to things by having both ranch dip and hummus on their plates to dip veggies into (and no seconds on the ranch, they had to use hummus ;) ). I put faces onto hardboiled eggs (and bought fresh eggs from my neighbor as she had tiny eggs as well as regular sized ones).

 

I would also put small items (like olives and pickles) on their plates to go with food. Ants on a log, peanut butter balls rolled and chilled.

 

It doesn't guarantee that they will eat it, but they will almost definitely try it.

 

I once made a graveyard (I had seen something very similar in Family Fun magazine I think) where the base was hummus, celery stalks were trees, carved pumpkins from carrots, tombstones were halved crackers and ghosts were hard boiled eggs with olives making the eyes and mouth. They ate all of it.

 

Obviously, it takes time and you may not have that time - but if you do, try something in an interesting shape or design. Good luck :)

[Susan in TN]

I agree with everything, except all my girls ate was peanut butter on a spoon. Food chaining and desensitization changed our life. I really think it does children a huge disservice to accept extreme picky eating as something that cannot be changed. It makes the kids miserable and therapy- even at home- can work miracles. I agree with picking up the food chaining book. In addition to that, work up to eating by requiring the food to be on the plate, then the food must touch the lips, then a bite is taken and spit in the trash, then a bite is taken and chewed and spit out, then a bite is taken and eaten. It may take months to move through the stages but it will be worth it. You may be throwing away food and they may cry and protest at first, but it will be worth it. Therapy is hard. Changing habits is hard. But, I can attest that I had kids so picky they would sometimes eat nothing- even the peanut butter was rejected, who didn't eat a single vegetable product for over 3 years, who threw up if offensive food touched their lips, who made themselves so weak with food refusal that they literally were shaking and could not sit up or stand on a regular basis, and these kids now eat almost everything. And they like it. No more crying at birthday parties because they want to be happy and eat cake with the other kids, no more throwing up all morning because they didn't eat the night before, no longer social outcasts...and peace is in the house. Your kids may not be as bad but I believe that just means the process would be quicker and easier.

 

ETA: You should pick one food or type of food at a time to make it work best. Don't offer broccoli one night, peas another, and green beans the next day. Offer broccoli regularly until they can take a bite and swallow without throwing up or crying. Once they can take one bite ok, then you can add a new food to try and start with the put it on the plate or to your lips stage. We were told to have them "shoot it in the trash like a rocket" to make it fun.

 

Just want to add my 2 cents of encouragement toward therapy. My 7yo picky eater was terrible with certain foods - he'd eat french fries and potato chips but would choke on a tiny bit of baked potato. There were many foods that effected him like this. We went through some neurodevelopmental therapy (at home) and also a special diet called the Spectrum Balance diet. There are still a couple foods he resists but he is at least able to take 2 or 3 small bites without gaging. We are very encouraged - sometimes he will flatly refuse a "new to him" food, but after his required bite decides that it is, in fact, quite delicious :).

 

I haven't read this book, but it sound like it does something similar to the neurodevelopmental therapy we did - it essentially "desensitizes" the nerves and brain paths so that they are not continually overreacting to stimuli.

[Pretty in Pink]

This week my kiddos are eating:

 

• Asian-style short ribs, jasmine rice, Asian slaw
  
• Spaghetti marinara, garlic bread, green salad
  
• Polenta, braised mushrooms (not all will eat the mushrooms), blackened tilapia, broccoli
  
• Braised carrots served on a bed of couscous and chickpeas
  
• Garlic chicken, saffron rice, roasted brussel sprouts
  
• Winter vegetable stew, garlic bread, green salad
  
• Roasted chicken, smashed potatoes with garlic and parsley, spaghetti squash
  

 

[Farrar]

I've never seen that about the food chaining. That's neat.

 

I think, as a recovering picky eater, that it's about control. The times in my childhood that I dug in and ate the least were when I felt like I had no other options. I would much rather have gone hungry - for days even - than eaten a food I didn't want to even try. So it always concerns me when people dig in their heels and make it a battle.

 

At our house, you are strongly encouraged to try it. Your attitude can't be rude or nasty. I'm not a short order chef so i won't make you something else, but you're welcome to go make a bowl of cereal or have a yogurt or an apple or whatever. I make sure to calmly persist with foods if I want them to be accepted. I also offer broken Bowen versions of many meals or will leave an ingredient out of a portion if it's doable.

[lisabees]

I don't have time to read the whole thread, but if no one has said this...make sure they are HUNGRY by the time you serve food. I mean, don't starve them, but I have found that when really hungry, my kids will gobble down just about anything. If I give fair warning that junk food will no longer be purchased or served and then I make sure that they're hungry at dinnertime, I have less trouble. A friend pointed this trick out to me when I was trying to get more fruit and veggies into my girls--she told me to put out a tray of veggies while they were playing or watching a little TV before dinner. They're hungry enough at that point that they don't care what they're eating, and the entire tray goes :D

 

:iagree: People ask me how I have gotten 4 great eaters and I joke and say I starve them! When they were little especially, they did not get snacks close to meal time. I never gave juices either, except for orange juice in the morning. Only water. Now that I have three (almost) teenage boys, they can eat all day and not be affected!

 

Anyway - here's my thought on food. I love food. I love talking about it, smelling it, taking pictures of it, eating it and, here is the important bit, cooking it.

 

I love to eat most things and cook most things (I am not overweight ;)). Many nights I totally experiment. And my entire family loves it. Every single night, my husband raves about dinner, telling the kids how lucky they are to have a mom who is a great cook. He may be wrong about my cooking, but it certainly helps! My kids have been trained!

 

My friends who have picky eaters tend to be picky themselves - at least what I define as picky. They eat limited vegetables and plain, American food. And lots of processed stuff.

 

Try to learn how to cook with fresh vegetables, herbs and spices. Have the kids help; teach them the wonders of food and the science of cooking while they're in the kitchen with you. Put things in special serving dishes and put candles on the table. We do this on most nights, because dinner is my favorite time of the day. Not only because of the food, but because we are enjoying being together.

 

For me, cooking is one of the few loves I can share with my kids.

Edited January 24, 2012 by lisabees