Losing temper with your children during schooltime?

[Halcyon]

I was talking to my friend yesterday who began homeschooling a year and a half ago, and she confided that she loses her temper once a day with her kids (she has 3 children, formerly PSed) while doing school with them. She told me she never imagined she would get so frustrated with her kids, and prior to homeschooling considered herself fairly "easy going".

 

She only lurks on this board, but I promised I would post a poll to show that other people lose their tempers with their children too; perhaps not that much, but it happens. I also told her that it sometimes takes PS-ed kids longer to "adjust" to being schooled by mom, and that can be hard.

 

Can you please answer this poll honestly? It's anonymous.

 

Thanks.

ETA: to clarify, this is only in the context of homeschooling-whether you lose your temper other times (perhaps because your child refuses to do their chores, or something) is not what I'm getting at here.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Halcyon

[Snickerdoodle]

Define "losing your temper".

[Halcyon]

Define "losing your temper".

 

Raising your voice? Having to put yourself in time out? Expressing irritation in a less-than-calm way? I'm really not sure. I know she definitely raises her voice with her kids while schooling.

[Momof3littles]

I was talking to my friend yesterday who began homeschooling a year and a half ago, and she confided that she loses her temper once a day with her kids (she has 3 children, formerly PSed) while doing school with them. She told me she never imagined she would get so frustrated with her kids, and prior to homeschooling considered herself fairly "easy going".

 

She only lurks on this board, but I promised I would post a poll to show that other people lose their tempers with their children too; perhaps not that much, but it happens. I also told her that it sometimes takes PS-ed kids longer to "adjust" to being schooled by mom, and that can be hard.

 

Can you please answer this poll honestly? It's anonymous.

 

Thanks.

ETA: to clarify, this is only in the context of homeschooling-whether you lose your temper other times (perhaps because your child refuses to do their chores, or something) is not what I'm getting at here.

My kids are at tough ages (IMO). They are 7 (almost 8), newly 5, and a 22 month old. I am very short tempered these days. Everyone needs me to do anything, from tying shoes to diaper changes to math help. The toddler is *just* starting to be able to sit and play with a fine motor activity to keep him busy, but usually he's destroying the house as I'm helping the other two kids. It was easier when I could contain him in a back carry, but that's harder to do as of late.

 

My patience is not very good with my kids these days, and I consider myself a gentle discipline type parent. I am struggling with this a lot right now. Every day I swear it will be better and every day it seems I lose my patience.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Momof3littles

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I do lose my temper occasionally, mostly when there are other problems going on, like we are all sick (some of my kids cannot control themselves and their bad behavior when they are sick or overtired), I've been awake with the baby many times during the night, the kids are grouchy and so am I, etc. During normal, not sick or cranky times, it is very rare. And usually when we get very sick we just don't do school.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Once per month, exactly on schedule. :nopity:

 

I have finally learned to just cancel the parent-led part of homeschooling for about two days. I assign some extra reading, send them all to their rooms, and eat chocolate. This, my friends, is how to be homeschooling lifer. Build the chocolate into the routine. LOL

 

And I will admit that school can be a little terse, or a little git'-er-done sometimes when life is stressful. I can't be Mary Poppins all the time. I come from no-nonsense, no-pity people, so that's my default when times are tough.

 

Having said all that, if I found myself screaming at my children all the time, calling them names, or insulting them, I'd have to figure out what to change. I'm not keeping them out of ps to make their life a living hell.

[Carrie12345]

I voted once a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It used to be daily before I sat down and really thought about dd8's still-to-be-dx'ed lds. That was a very rough patch for us.

[Halcyon]

Once per month, exactly on schedule. :nopity:

 

Having said all that, if I found myself screaming at my children all the time, calling them names, or insulting them, I'd have to figure out what to change. I'm not keeping them out of ps to make their life a living hell.

 

LOL. You're so smart to anticipate this and plan for it, rather than just trying to deal with the aftermath! I don't think she calls her kids names, but they are very sluggish workers and she finds that she either has to yell at them or just give up for the day. I have been trying to encourage her not to just give up on them, but then, she says, she has to yell at them to motivate them. :(

[Sweetpeach]

Great poll! Again, more about how to be relational and academic . . . the more I press the academic gas pedal, the more effort I have to put into the relational. It seems that my academic expectations are often tied to the amount of energy I have to keep propelling them fwd. As soon as I lose my temper, I feel like I've taken 10 steps backward in the relational end and then I'm in damage control mode. I hate that feeling.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to increase the academic workload without pushing everyone to frustration.

 

I guess it's a process that I'll have all figured out once they've left home.

 

T

[8filltheheart]

LOL. You're so smart to anticipate this and plan for it, rather than just trying to deal with the aftermath! I don't think she calls her kids names, but they are very sluggish workers and she finds that she either has to yell at them or just give up for the day. I have been trying to encourage her not to just give up on them, but then, she says, she has to yell at them to motivate them. :(

 

Perhaps a suggestion of putting away whatever they are currently using and spicing up their lives a bit by focusing on their interests and what they might really enjoy learning?

 

My experience w/my kids has been that when there are problems that they don't normally stem from the kids, but from the position I have placed them in. Typically the probems are the result of their being overwhelmed b/c they don't understand or the directions are unclear.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I don't think she calls her kids names, but they are very sluggish workers and she finds that she either has to yell at them or just give up for the day. I have been trying to encourage her not to just give up on them, but then, she says, she has to yell at them to motivate them. :(

 

She's missing the big picture in a big way, I'm afraid. If yelling is all that does it, she'll always have to yell.

 

But later, that will fail. Because when the kids get to be as tall as Mom, they tend to just look at you with a "WTH" kind of expression and ignore you when you act crazy. She needs another layer to the relationship with her kids, where she understands them and they want to please her. Easier said than done.

 

All of my four children are boys. The older three are very close in age. Charlotte Mason really saved me as I was learning how to do this: Her concept of short lessons with undivided attention is just spot-on, IMO. Better to have three awesome minutes of total concentration than half an hour of poor attention and disrespect. Make those three minutes really count, not just how to focus on the lesson but how to appropriately respond to Mom/Teacher. Then slowly increase the duration of the lessons.

 

Maybe your friend would benefit from reading some CM?

[Miselainia]

Does it count if I only lose my temper once a month, but can't find it for a few days?

[4maybabies]

My kids are at tough ages (IMO). They are 7 (almost 8), newly 5, and a 22 month old. I am very short tempered these days. Everyone needs me to do anything, from tying shoes to diaper changes to math help. The toddler is *just* starting to be able to sit and play with a fine motor activity to keep him busy, but usually he's destroying the house as I'm helping the other two kids. It was easier when I could contain him in a back carry, but that's harder to do as of late.

 

My patience is not very good with my kids these days, and I consider myself a gentle discipline type parent. I am struggling with this a lot right now. Every day I swear it will be better and every day it seems I lose my patience.

:iagree:

[clarkacademy]

I get up pretty much OK. Things usually go well until I get my 10 year old up then the world falls apart. It is very rare I have a good day with him. He makes up angry, everyday. He HATES school. He is very vocal on what he hates as well. He argues, he is mean to the siblings. I mean I hate to say it but I would enjoy schooling more if he were some where else.

 

He hates where we live. He hates going to the store. I mean the list goes on and on. He was difficult from birth and it only got worse. I will say the days (very few far between) where he is in a calm mood and willing to cooperate are golden. They are the best days of my entire life.

 

When he is playing with his little sister he is almost an angel. When he sees a hurt bug or animal he is the most gentle child you will ever meet. When he watches TV he begs mommy to snuggle with him. It's like when the world is his way he is great, when the world is not his way he is a time bomb.

[SorrelZG]

8 and Tibbie, I really appreciate your experience and wisdom. Thank-you for sharing it. I need all I can get today.

[8filltheheart]

She's missing the big picture in a big way, I'm afraid. If yelling is all that does it, she'll always have to yell.

 

But later, that will fail. Because when the kids get to be as tall as Mom, they tend to just look at you with a "WTH" kind of expression and ignore you when you act crazy. She needs another layer to the relationship with her kids, where she understands them and they want to please her. Easier said than done.

 

All of my four children are boys. The older three are very close in age. Charlotte Mason really saved me as I was learning how to do this: Her concept of short lessons with undivided attention is just spot-on, IMO. Better to have three awesome minutes of total concentration than half an hour of poor attention and disrespect. Make those three minutes really count, not just how to focus on the lesson but how to appropriately respond to Mom/Teacher. Then slowly increase the duration of the lessons.

 

Maybe your friend would benefit from reading some CM?

 

:iagree:

[Halcyon]

Great points here.

 

Great poll! Again, more about how to be relational and academic . . . the more I press the academic gas pedal, the more effort I have to put into the relational. It seems that my academic expectations are often tied to the amount of energy I have to keep propelling them fwd. As soon as I lose my temper, I feel like I've taken 10 steps backward in the relational end and then I'm in damage control mode. I hate that feeling.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to increase the academic workload without pushing everyone to frustration.

 

I guess it's a process that I'll have all figured out once they've left home.

 

T

[Critterfixer]

My experience w/my kids has been that when there are problems that they don't normally stem from the kids, but from the position I have placed them in. Typically the probems are the result of their being overwhelmed b/c they don't understand or the directions are unclear.

 

This, and I would also substitute in "I" in this way: When I have problems that don't stem fro the kids, and the position I have placed myself in. Typically the problems are the result of me being overwhelmed because I don't understand or the directions are unclear.

When I don't get enough sleep, or take care to eat a bite of protein in the morning, or get up in time to get my morning chores done, thereby putting the rest of the day in a hurry we get stressed.

 

I voted that I am seldom angry enough to even lower my voice (the sure sign that my temper is going) but then, I seldom lose my temper as a rule. So I'm not sure that I contribute to the poll in any helpful way.

But the first thing I look at when my child loses his temper is whether he has rested well or whether he might be a little hungry, and I then wonder if I'm simply asking too much of him too quickly and without enough direction. I find the same questions are helpful for finding where my temper went too.

[lulubelle]

My ds 9 fidgets, zones out, draws pictures on his sheet and loves to annoy his siblings. And if he happens to have a rare golden day, then ds 7 takes it over! I raise my voice quite a bit and I have high expectations as to what we will accomplish in a day.

[Halcyon]

She's missing the big picture in a big way, I'm afraid. If yelling is all that does it, she'll always have to yell.

 

But later, that will fail. Because when the kids get to be as tall as Mom, they tend to just look at you with a "WTH" kind of expression and ignore you when you act crazy. She needs another layer to the relationship with her kids, where she understands them and they want to please her. Easier said than done.

 

All of my four children are boys. The older three are very close in age. Charlotte Mason really saved me as I was learning how to do this: Her concept of short lessons with undivided attention is just spot-on, IMO. Better to have three awesome minutes of total concentration than half an hour of poor attention and disrespect. Make those three minutes really count, not just how to focus on the lesson but how to appropriately respond to Mom/Teacher. Then slowly increase the duration of the lessons.

 

Maybe your friend would benefit from reading some CM?

 

 

I think she would. Would you recommend her original series?

[boscopup]

Perhaps a suggestion of putting away whatever they are currently using and spicing up their lives a bit by focusing on their interests and what they might really enjoy learning?

 

My experience w/my kids has been that when there are problems that they don't normally stem from the kids, but from the position I have placed them in. Typically the probems are the result of their being overwhelmed b/c they don't understand or the directions are unclear.

 

You know, this week, I had some frustration and started to lose my temper. I had to hold myself back a bit (so I wouldn't yell), and calmly explain to my son what I was upset about. The problem? He was supposed to be doing some copywork. It wasn't too hard. It wasn't overwhelming him. It wasn't unclear. He just hates to write. Anything that involves writing is hated by him. At some point, I have to just make him write, because if he doesn't write, his hand muscles won't get any stronger. Now upon reflection, I probably need to just have him choose his own copywork/dictation, as the one time we did that, he did his work happily and very neatly. On the other hand, he chose two very simple sentences that were void of literary quality (and he even changed the words to make the quality a bit better :lol:).

 

This is an ongoing thing, but yeah, it's what usually causes me to lose my temper. He doesn't want to write anything. He hates to write. Then the little kids distract him (just breathing distracts him), and he's falling out of his chair and blah blah blah. All he's supposed to do is copy one sentence, and he's successfully copied as much as 3 sentences, so I know this one sentence isn't taxing him.

 

So any ideas for giving him the freedom to choose his own copywork/dictation while keeping the challenge up enough to grow his ability? We use WWE, which he loves the narration portion and tolerates the dictating of one sentence of his 2-3 sentence narration, but copywork.. ugh! I'm not opposed to skipping the WWE copywork/dictation and letting him pick his own, but again... How to get him to pick something more than 4 word sentences? Seriously, he read books for an hour trying to pick out what he wanted to copy, and he was looking for something both interesting AND short. :glare: I had told him 2 sentences, so he picked 2 4-word sentences. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'd love to know how you handle copywork in your home, 8. I know you use it to teach writing to your kids. Have any of your kids balked at any writing at all? And if so, what did you do to make it better? He's 7.5, and just before he turned 7, writing suddenly got easier for him, and I've made the lines smaller so that also is easier for him... but some days... he just doesn't want to write. Period. That's the biggest thing that frustrates us both during our school day! Everything else, I'm able to manage by what you said - changing subjects, reevaluating if the material it too difficult and we need to slow down, etc. This one... I just don't know how to make writing any less painful for us both. I'd rather him not use a cheesy 4-word sentence of poor literary quality as his copywork on a regular basis.

 

:lurk5:

[kpnick in nc]

My kids are at tough ages (IMO). They are 7 (almost 8), newly 5, and a 22 month old. I am very short tempered these days. Everyone needs me to do anything, from tying shoes to diaper changes to math help. The toddler is *just* starting to be able to sit and play with a fine motor activity to keep him busy, but usually he's destroying the house as I'm helping the other two kids. It was easier when I could contain him in a back carry, but that's harder to do as of late.

 

My patience is not very good with my kids these days, and I consider myself a gentle discipline type parent. I am struggling with this a lot right now. Every day I swear it will be better and every day it seems I lose my patience.

 

:grouphug:

I'm shifted behind you a bit - newly 7, newly 4 and 12.5 months. I agree that these are tough ages. It has been humbling to have DS7 call me on losing my patience, etc, in light of what I'm expecting from him.

 

DH can usually tell how much school we completed by the state of the house when he gets home. :tongue_smilie:

[Daisy]

I yell (raise my voice) more often than I lose my temper. I see them as two completely different things. Sometimes I have to yell, "QUIIIIIIET! EVERYONE DO YOUR WORK WITH NO TALKING!" just to be heard over my kids laughing and goofing off. They know I mean business at that point and they pipe down. I'm in complete control of my temper. We are just a loud family. The loudest one gets listened to. LOL. I'm kinda joking...a little bit.

 

Losing my temper happens when I'm emotionally unstable one week before my cycle starts. I have to just retreat until I'm a decent human being again. I voted other because while it may only be once a month, it is usually several episodes over a few days until I realize what the problem is. I have irregular cycles and don't always get a clue as to why I'm acting so irritable.

[mom31257]

I've been losing my temper more this year than in the past, and it's usually with my dd. She's 14 (enough said??), very independent, and loathes to ask for help when she doesn't understand something. I'm also feeling pressure that she's high school now, and I don't want to go too easy and regret it later. I guess these are new waters and I probably need to step back and make sure what both our goals are and how to attain them. I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks, so I'm open to any advice others have to give.

 

I've thought more than once this year, if we had the money for full-time Christian school she might be there.

[Ellie]

I don't ever remember losing my temper with my dc over any kind of homeschooling issue.

[8filltheheart]

My older boys didn't like to write. ;)

 

Does he have a subject he is passionate about? It can be anything......Legos, Transformers, animals, science, whatever.

 

I often create copywork assignments that focus specifically on what I want to cover. Since I don't use copywork simply for handwriting but for grammar, mechanics, sentence structure, etc, just writing what I want is typically easier than searching for something that matches the need.

 

So, say I have a 7 yr old Star Wars lover that is a solid reader but writing phobic, an example might be:

 

Anakin, in his pod racer, quickly passed Sebulba and won the race. His freedom gained, he traveled to Coruscant for Jedi training.

 

(I had to ask my 10th grader for details......I'm a little foggy on little boy stuff these days! So, those sentences were the product of his imagination. :) )

 

BTW, one of my boys is very artistic; for him, creating a book page by page that was a continuing story that he could spend time illustrating as a reward for good effort was motivating.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think she would. Would you recommend her original series?

 

No, because they are soooo wordy. I think a person has to be predisposed to CM to be willing to wade through it. I read interpretations first, and then finally read the original series online at AmblesideOnline. (In linking that I noticed they also have a modernized version available to read online. I don't know if it's good.)

 

I always preferred Karen Andreola's version of CM'ness over any other, but I've since learned that an awful lot of people really can't stand her and prefer Catherine Levison instead.

 

Lastly, Simply Charlotte Mason is pretty popular with new hs'ers who are also new to CM. SCM seems to come at CM from the opposite side, offering hand-holding and ready-made stuff to use until one has internalized the philosophy. Typically with CM (as with classical education in general) we internalize it first, and then find or modify materials to go along with the ideology. But whatever works, of course.

[2squared]

I am often frustrated because the littles are too loud, distracting, or whatever. The bigs can't concentrate or get caught up in the littles' activities. Then the 1yo wakes up early, and things are out of control. Does that count? If I could school my 9yo & 7yo without any littlers, life would be easy-peasy.

[FairProspects]

With my SPD'er there are some very, very bad days. If he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, he will melt down about absolutely everything (including being told he can't have candy for breakfast, which is a standard, known rule) and he will insist the sky is green, and that d is in fact b. There's not much you can do but try to change the sensory environment which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. It is a daily struggle but yes it can be incredibly tough and I do sometimes lose my temper.

[VeteranMom]

I agree that it's normal. I define "losing my temper" as yelling at them. I don't throw things or have a tantrum. My kids used to be in PS, too. I'm in the middle of my second year, too. My kids are 9, 10, and 10. I think it would've been easier if my kids had always been at home. It can be difficult to adjust to the new routine and the kids test me a lot. I find the thing I most lose patience with is them wasting time and not staying on task. They used to be told what to do every second of their public school day and now I expect them to be more independent. I used to lose my temper daily, but it's getting better- down to once a week at most. It's helped to read suggestions here. It's helped, too, that the kids are becoming self starters and more independent now.

Edited January 11, 2012 by VeteranMom
clarification

[boscopup]

I often create copywork assignments that focus specifically on what I want to cover. Since I don't use copywork simply for handwriting but for grammar, mechanics, sentence structure, etc, just writing what I want is typically easier than searching for something that matches the need.

 

So, say I have a 7 yr old Star Wars lover that is a solid reader but writing phobic, an example might be:

 

Anakin, in his pod racer, quickly passed Sebulba and won the race. His freedom gained, he traveled to Coruscant for Jedi training.

 

I'm sooooo using that for DS's copywork tomorrow! :lol: He will absolutely love it! And I can tie in prepositional phrases, since he just learned about those in grammar this week. ;)

 

So I guess I need to start reading those Star Wars books so I can come up with sentences. :D

 

Thank you, 8! I knew you'd have excellent advice, as usual! :thumbup:

[RegularMom]

I rarely lose my temper as defined by hollering, being out of control, and having to put myself in a timeout, but at least once or twice a month I find myself speaking sternly to at least one of the girls, if not both. This is a controlled stern-ness, though, that I use to stifle inappropriate attitudes about work that needs to be done. Just this afternoon at the library I had to speak sternly to my 8yo for whining over a math sheet. It was over briefly, and we were able to get the rest of the work done in a calm, somewhat cheerful state.

 

But that's not to say that I only rarely feel upset or angry or worried or frustrated. At least once a week, I have short bouts of any one of those emotions. But I am most often able to keep it in check and stay calm and get through it.

 

This year, I feel like I'm pulling out of a funk that lasted a couple of years. So, since my mood is better (or is it just me gaining more confidence as a homeschooler in spite of the fact that my children do not come joyously to the table, bright and eager for the day's work?) my children's moods are better. Mood is contagious around here.

[Halcyon]

I yell (raise my voice) more often than I lose my temper. I see them as two completely different things. Sometimes I have to yell, "QUIIIIIIET! EVERYONE DO YOUR WORK WITH NO TALKING!" just to be heard over my kids laughing and goofing off.

 

 

 

Ha! I do this too-it's sometimes the only way I can get my kids to FOCUS on their work. Today, I raised my voice at my older, who was dawdling over math and staring into outer space for a long time. He buckled down and got the work done in about 15 minutes. He wasn't happy, but I told him that he had received plenty of advance notice from me beforehand ;)

[Meriwether]

I lose my temper way too often with Ds7. I love him tremendously, but he is very frustrating. He knows how to do the work. He CAN work quickly. He just won't. Imagine me saying in a nice but no nonsense voice (after many redirections), "Ds, you need to get this done right. now." Less than ten seconds later his pencil is on the floor and he is saying something about legos. Or his cousin. Or Star Wars. Or his toothbrush, for Pete's sake. At that point, it becomes, "YOU NEED TO GET THIS DONE RIGHT. NOW."

[quark]

It used to be almost daily or at least more than once a week. Lately (from last year), it's been once a month at most.

 

I don't yell at him. My temper is short but not loud. However, he's extremely sensitive and becomes very upset when I'm angry.

 

I managed to make things more harmonious after realizing:

- Everything Tibbie said about kids eventually looking at you like you are crazy. It would break my heart to lose my boy's respect that way.

- That a lot of my anger stemmed from my own inattention to his needs and my overly high expectations with regards to not wiggling, being too slow, being untidy and so on.

 

To counter this:

- we unschooled for a while and I used that time to plan changes, e.g. I knew he wanted it so we accelerated him in math and science and skipped what I felt was busy work in other subjects.

- changed our schedule to include at most 4 subjects a day and to expect a maximum of 4 hours of academic work. We are usually done in 3.5 hours now.

- He chooses all the subjects in a semester (with the exception of one -- his Dad will chose the last after consulting him) and at least half of the resources used to learn these subjects.

- I have him use a planner so he'll know in advance what will happen each day.

- I moved our learning schedule from the afternoon to the morning so that he has lots of free time after lunch for his own pursuits.

- I let him read what he likes for 10-20 minutes before he starts his lessons.

- I give him fidget toys to use whenever he's not writing something.

- I make it clear that if he respects my time I will respect his so I haven't had any back-talking or anything like that ever since I implemented all this.

 

I agree with Tibbie's suggestion on the CM books. I like Penny Gardner's website too for links and ideas: http://www.pennygardner.com/index.html

 

ETA: It's probably easier to implement the above with an only child!

Edited January 11, 2012 by quark

[SorrelZG]

quark, thank-you for sharing. I'm going to be writing some of these things down.

[quark]

You are welcome SCGS! Will it be helpful to see our schedule? I'm always tweaking it but right now, here's what we do:

 

1 full day a week: outside classes, library time, homeschool park day or play time.

 

3 days a week: Geometry, Physics, German and Latin. 20-30 minute music practice as a break between Geometry and Physics. Read alouds during lunch. We begin at 9am and finish by 1pm (includes lunch). He may watch an educational video (usually, a science or history topic) or work on his own math pursuits after lunch in addition to free reading, logic puzzles, outdoor time etc.

 

1 day a week: Either Geometry or Physics, some writing if I can persuade him to do it and one subject of his choice (e.g. Philosophy, Cryptography, a project). I do try to combine the writing with his subject of choice.

 

Free on weekends.

 

Note: We don't use a grammar program (one of my eliminated busy work decisions). It seems more effective for him to learn grammar via reading, Latin and writing.

[Cindyz]

I answered once a month and that day happened to be today (about 10 minutes ago). Feeling like a terrible parent, this thread helped me to feel a little better knowing that I'm not alone.

 

He's having a hard time staying on task with lessons since we returned from break. He had several weeks of waking up to play on the ipad, watch movies, read books of his choice, do fun activities, and basically do whatever he wanted. He did well for the first few days back to lessons, but now he's fighting me every day to wake up and play instead of lessons, and has had a terrible attitude including quite a bit of talking back. It's actually quite upsetting to me because prior to the break he loved lessons, looked forward to them, and we had a lot of fun. Starting in January, there has been a lot of complaining. There are a lot of new toys in the house and it's hard for him to think of lessons instead of all the fun toys waiting for him when he's done.

 

Usually if he refuses to do lessons or has a terrible attitude, we stop what we're doing and he is put to work doing things like scooping the littler box, pulling weeds outside, stacking firewood, shoveling leaves into the wheelbarrow, etc. For some reason that didn't work for him today and the attitude flared up and down all.day.long. Ugh.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Cindyz

[Testimony]

I am the worse mother on the planet. This past week, I have yelled at my boys for a couple of days now. It is usually over a few things like not listening, but this is what I mean:

 

For example, I asked my son to put his books away in the school bin before he gets the next subject and after the last subject is done. He left his books in the kitchen and dinner was being served. So, I said to please bring it downstairs. He went put it downstairs, but not in the bin. I asked him if he put it in the bin, he told me he did. The next morning, I tumbled down the stairs where the books were. He lied to me and I got hurt. I feel icky that I lost my temper.:crying:

 

I would say that I loose my temper about once a month.

 

Blessings in your homeschooling journey!

 

Sincerely,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[Hunter]

My boys are grown now, but these are some of the reasons I yelled during school work:

 

I hadn't taught them how to WORK in general and because homeschooling was the toughest WORK I was requiring from them, then of course that was where the conflict showed up most often.

 

Sometimes I was pushing too hard and not facing reality of what could be reasonably done. Kids will become passive aggressive and sloooow down and do less instead of more when pushed too hard.

 

We were living in poverty and domestic abuse, I didn't understand Maslows pyramid. My boys and I were not receiving the basics of the 1st and 2nd levels, but I was expecting us all to produce the highest level results. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

 

Sometimes I put academics above character training.

 

Sometimes I put academics above HOMEmaking.

 

Sometimes I based my worth on my success as a teacher, and based my success as a teacher, on their performance.

 

Sometimes I was using crap for materials.

 

I needed to plan some fun and was just WAY too serious. My life has always been HARD and I just don't even understand the concept of pleasure, so defiantly didn't know how to plan it into our day.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Great poll! Again, more about how to be relational and academic . . . the more I press the academic gas pedal, the more effort I have to put into the relational. It seems that my academic expectations are often tied to the amount of energy I have to keep propelling them fwd. As soon as I lose my temper, I feel like I've taken 10 steps backward in the relational end and then I'm in damage control mode. I hate that feeling.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to increase the academic workload without pushing everyone to frustration.

 

 

 

:iagree: yes. this. exactly.

[PentecostalMom]

I guess it's a process that I'll have all figured out once they've left home.

 

Ha, I thought that when ds left, I would get some insight, but nope, hasn't happened!

 

I did figure out that he was my curriculum guinea pig and now that I have tried every single program that that even remotely interests me, I know that lots of times it isn't the program that needs changing. It's the way I teach it, or the way I "enforce" getting work done. :tongue_smilie:

[Chrysalis Academy]

My ds 9 fidgets, zones out, draws pictures on his sheet

 

. . . . and this is us, too! Drives me nuts. But when I react with anger, she melts and then we lose 15 minutes just getting back to an even keel with no tears. I am figuring out that if I stop, take *deeeep breaths* and react more constructively then things go better.

 

So I don't lose my temper every day . . . any more! ;)

[MrsMe]

LOL.....Who's that wonderful only soul on this poll that never loses her temper? :001_huh:

 

I want that drug you're on.:tongue_smilie:

[EmilyinND]

I voted more than once a week but it might be closer to daily, it depends on the day (and really the subject) It usually revolves around math & after we get through that it *usually* goes ok, depending on his attitude.

[AngelBee]

Daily :(

[butterflymommy]

When we first took the girls out of school it was an almost daily occurrence... now it's "highly unusual." Not even once a month. I give constructive criticism but I'm certainly not flying off the handle. The kids are much better about doing their work too.

[Canadianmumof5]

I am often frustrated because the littles are too loud, distracting, or whatever. The bigs can't concentrate or get caught up in the littles' activities. Then the 1yo wakes up early, and things are out of control. Does that count? If I could school my 9yo & 7yo without any littlers, life would be easy-peasy.

 

:iagree: and :grouphug:

[Durriyyah]

About once a month. It has been less sense there has been less stress outside the home. It has definitely gotten easier as DD's gotten older and the expectations are more clear.

[KrissiK]

I didn't vote because I'm not sure how to define "losing my temper". I also didn't read the whole thread. But, I do get frustrated. My boys are constantly touching each other, breaking pencils, I leave the room for a minute to say.... put clothes in the dryer and come back and it's all broken loose. My boys are squirrels and they drive me crazy. I raise my voice a lot, but I wouldn't say that's losing my temper.