Should I report this family to Children's Services?

[mommaduck]

You should have just called the police. If the dogs are disturbing the peace that does count in most states. Let them deal with it.

:iagree: And then I would ask the officers about a few of the other strange things. They might be able to tell what further steps to take. It sounds as though the mother might have some issues of her own.

[In2why]

I would call. There might be a reasonable explaination, but there might not be. It might even help the family get an aide through SSI. I am actually surprised that they don't have one already.

[snowbeltmom]

I'm betting all of these kids have caseworkers already. They probably know there are issues, but have few to no other placements available.

 

So if that is the case, calling would be pointless. I have no idea if the children are adopted, but it is obvious that the kids are not related.

 

I have heard through the grapevine that they are in foster care, but I figured if that were true, some government agency would have intervened by now if there was a problem. But maybe that is not always true?:confused:

[snowbeltmom]

:iagree: And then I would ask the officers about a few of the other strange things. They might be able to tell what further steps to take. It sounds as though the mother might have some issues of her own.

 

Yes, there are also rumors about the mom being an alcoholic and the condition of the house with 4 dogs. Yet again, I have no first hand knowledge.

 

If I had to do it all again, I would never have made the phone call. She definitely was not rational during that call at all.

[Joanne]

I'm betting all of these kids have caseworkers already. They probably know there are issues, but

 

have few to no other placements available.

 

Or, investigations have determined there is not a need for another placement.

 

My DH was a bus driver. Bus Drivers have protocol to follow with regard to special needs pick ups and drop offs. Any issues there, and the bus driver is reporting it; the system knows.

 

A 16 year old being unsupervised it not going to be put on anyone's radar.

 

A LOT of the OP is speculation, guess, conjecture. You can't submit a legit report on hear-say of diapers, etc.

 

You can report curfew violations, abuse, and neglect. Right now, you have speculation of neglect.

 

That said, reporting is so that trained professionals can evaluate; you don't need to evaluate the case before calling. Make a list of things you've SEEN, and risks you actually know, and file a report.

 

The kids at school are under the weekly influence of mandatory reporters.

[jplain]

So if that is the case, calling would be pointless.

Not true. If you file a report, any existing caseworkers will have to document how they investigated and responded to the specific issues raised in your new report. Sometimes a squeaky wheel or wheels are necessary before a specific situation gets the attention it needs.

 

It isn't your job to determine whether there's true neglect occurring. That's someone else's job. But if you suspect neglect, it is not wrong to share your concerns.

[Pink Fairy]

So if that is the case, calling would be pointless. I have no idea if the children are adopted, but it is obvious that the kids are not related.

 

I have heard through the grapevine that they are in foster care, but I figured if that were true, some government agency would have intervened by now if there was a problem. But maybe that is not always true?:confused:

 

So you've heard that THIS is the foster home? :confused1: Gah, I don't know if that makes it worse or not, but the whole thing is horrible. :crying: It sounds like you've heard quite a bit through the grapevine, and in addition to what you have witnessed and experienced yourself, I would definitely call.

[In2why]

I should also mention that just because a situation seems dangerous, doesn't mean that child services will do their job, but by reporting you have done your part

 

 

My 12 year old son came to live with us when he was 9. I knew the family and promised his grandmother that we would care for him if anything happened to her since there was no one else in the family that was fit to parent. Near the end of her life she was being abused, and the child neglected, but my hands were tied except when I was there on a daily basis. I finally called Social Services, and they "investigated" She died a week after the supposed invesitgation began, he had lived with us for a month when we received a letter informing us the investigation was complete, he was fine, and that the home was safe. They didn't even know where the child lived for goodness sake, so I don't have tons of confidence in their ability to save the world, but I guess they are better than nothing.

[sassenach]

I would call.

[jhschool]

I wouldn't call based on these happenings.

 

If a child was being hit or not fed that would be

a different matter. But they just seem to be

completely disorganized. I would hate it if my

neighbors reported me based on my disorganization.

Granted, I take extremely good care of my child. But

my neighbors also rarely see me, and I rarely see them.

 

The big kid going into houses and looking in the

fridge should be met with kindness and understanding,

not with police phone calls and reports.

 

Not everyone is on top of things. They don't seem

to have an ideal situation, but I don't think any of

this warrants reporting them to the authorities.

 

These children go to school, correct? If the school

does not think these children should be investigated,

then I don't think neighbors should be turning them in.

 

Once this family is broken up these children won't

even have each other.

 

Now, having said that, do you really have a horrid feeling

that something nasty is going on? Or is it that their

messy lives are irritating to us? If you truly feel that someone

is being abused then definitely report. Trust your instincts

and call if your true intent is to protect; but don't

just call because they are not perfect.

[misidawnrn]

:iagree:

I would call.

[snowbeltmom]

I wouldn't call based on these happenings.

 

 

These children go to school, correct? If the school

does not think these children should be investigated,

then I don't think neighbors should be turning them in.

 

Once this family is broken up these children won't

even have each other.

 

Now, having said that, do you really have a horrid feeling

that something nasty is going on? Or is it that their

messy lives are irritating to us? If you truly feel that someone

is being abused then definitely report. Trust your instincts

and call if your true intent is to protect; but don't

just call because they are not perfect.

 

Yes, these children are in school.

 

 

My true intent in calling would be for the welfare of the kids. I just don't know if I have enough concrete information, or if it would matter since based on some other responses it sounds like the school and the bus driver would have been obligated to report what they witnessed first hand.

[Lawana]

Yes, these children are in school.

 

 

My true intent in calling would be for the welfare of the kids. I just don't know if I have enough concrete information, or if it would matter since based on some other responses it sounds like the school and the bus driver would have been obligated to report what they witnessed first hand.

So what is the worst thing that could happen if you call and report?

[Teachin'Mine]

I hope that for the sake of those kids, that you call. Someone needs to. :grouphug:

[StephanieZ]

You can report anonymously. I would do so. Call the child abuse and neglect hotline in your state.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

It is your duty to act.

[Pretty in Pink]

:grouphug::grouphug:

What a terrible situation to be in.

 

I would consider one more attempt to contact the parents─by USPS mail─before calling authorities. Express concern about the 16yo's safety while riding in the street, and ask for return communication. That would give them a last chance before being reported.

 

Does anyone ever see vehicles come and go? Someone has to be bringing groceries, etc. What an odd, disturbing situation.

 

IDK. I did this once in a very similar situation. I didn't want to just call and report the family without at least trying to talk to them first, but they wouldn't talk. I wrote them a letter and mailed it next door. The next afternoon the father approached me in my own yard ranting and raving about what a b*tch I was, etc. He was really aggressive towards me, both verbally and in his demeanor. My husband was not home. I won't put myself in that position again. If I ever found myself in a similar situation and it was pretty clear they didn't want to talk then I would just report them.

[kiana]

Yes, these children are in school.

 

 

My true intent in calling would be for the welfare of the kids. I just don't know if I have enough concrete information, or if it would matter since based on some other responses it sounds like the school and the bus driver would have been obligated to report what they witnessed first hand.

 

You don't really need concrete information. Looking for concrete information is their job.

[Lawana]

IDK. I did this once in a very similar situation. I didn't want to just call and report the family without at least trying to talk to them first, but they wouldn't talk. I wrote them a letter and mailed it next door. The next afternoon the father approached me in my own yard ranting and raving about what a b*tch I was, etc. He was really aggressive towards me, both verbally and in his demeanor. My husband was not home. I won't put myself in that position again. If I ever found myself in a similar situation and it was pretty clear they didn't want to talk then I would just report them.

 

Yeah. When I wrote the above, I didn't know that she had already had a phone run-in with the mother, who acted off. I thought maybe the adults had some kind of social avoidance issues and couldn't deal with in-person interaction.

 

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing, even though it was scary. It showed courage.

[Mommy22alyns]

IDK. I did this once in a very similar situation. I didn't want to just call and report the family without at least trying to talk to them first, but they wouldn't talk. I wrote them a letter and mailed it next door. The next afternoon the father approached me in my own yard ranting and raving about what a b*tch I was, etc. He was really aggressive towards me, both verbally and in his demeanor. My husband was not home. I won't put myself in that position again. If I ever found myself in a similar situation and it was pretty clear they didn't want to talk then I would just report them.

 

 

That is scary. OP, I would call.

[Dustybug]

I don't blame you. I once had to contact CPS about a relative of ours who had a filthy house - mattresses with no sheets, power turned off occasionally, kids always hungry. When the social worker looked inside the refrigerator, it was full of moldy food. When he opened the freezer, it was full of liquor bottles. The situation improved for the kids but my relative was swearing violent retribution (including suing, beating and hospitalizing) for the person who did it. People become angry when they are embarrassed. It's a difficult situation.

 

If the animals are not being taken care of, you could call that in anonymously - they would come by to talk to the parents. They could then call if they noticed something out of the ordinary.

 

In my opinion, I think you should call. My concern was over the child who was entering other people's houses. That isn't unusual for kids with severe disabilities (who need constant supervision). My daughter has entered a few houses herself (with myself or another adult in hot pursuit behind her). The problem with that is when someone thinks the child (who now looks like an adult) is an intruder and they are shot.

 

I think you should call and report all of it and your concern for the kids. I think you should ask your neighbor if she would verify your information if she is contacted. Sometimes people are afraid to make the call, but will give information if someone calls them. You could then tell the social worker that your neighbor is willing to talk if he/she calls them. Two other relatives vouched that what I was saying was true to the social worker when I called.

 

Here's my thoughts:

1. Don't worry about trying to engage the parents. That's not going to work and it is going to put you in danger.

2. From now on, call the police if you see a worrying situation at that very moment when it happens: for example, son in someone's house, or riding his bicycle unsafely.

 

And, the world is not on your shoulders! There has been plenty of opportunity for the school, bus drivers, etc, to have noticed the problems, and chances are that they have already been reported, more than once, by someone else.

 

What I would do is call the school, ask to speak to the guidance counselor or school social worker or whoever it is at that school, and express your concerns.

They will likely say, Yes, we are very much aware of this family and steps are about to be taken. Or, if they say, no, we had no idea, then you will know that you are the one who has to report.

You need more information.

:grouphug:

 

I agree with the bolded parts. It IS a safety issue.

 

I wouldn't call based on these happenings.

 

If a child was being hit or not fed that would be

a different matter. But they just seem to be

completely disorganized. I would hate it if my

neighbors reported me based on my disorganization.

Granted, I take extremely good care of my child. But

my neighbors also rarely see me, and I rarely see them.

 

The big kid going into houses and looking in the

fridge should be met with kindness and understanding,

not with police phone calls and reports.

 

Not everyone is on top of things. They don't seem

to have an ideal situation, but I don't think any of

this warrants reporting them to the authorities.

 

These children go to school, correct? If the school

does not think these children should be investigated,

then I don't think neighbors should be turning them in.

 

Once this family is broken up these children won't

even have each other.

 

Now, having said that, do you really have a horrid feeling

that something nasty is going on? Or is it that their

messy lives are irritating to us? If you truly feel that someone

is being abused then definitely report. Trust your instincts

and call if your true intent is to protect; but don't

just call because they are not perfect.

 

 

I would be understanding and kind the FIRST time....maybe. My home is my sacred space for me and my family. If I wasn't familiar(as in he was a child of a friend) with a 16 year old boy, delayed or not, even if he lived in my neighborhood and I saw him regularly, I would probably not take too kindly to them entering my home without my permission. Maybe it's because of my traumatic childhood, but this just does NOT sit well with me. Most 16 year old boys I know are bigger than me and my DH works afternoons/evenings and a ton of overtime. That would seem threatening to me, but I'll admit I have baggage in this sort of area.

 

I don't think it should be assumed that everyone in the neighborhood should just shrug and move on. This boy needs supervision, and while I may look past it once, if it were a recurring problem, I wouldn't hesitate to call the police if the parents did not at all seem interested in resolving the problem. If anything, maybe if the police were called more often, the family would get looked at more closely and any other issues could be found and dealt with.

[Impish]

The big kid going into houses and looking in the

fridge should be met with kindness and understanding,

not with police phone calls and reports.

 

 

Seriously?

 

The kid is in danger doing this. The typical 16 yo boy looks like an adult, ime.

 

If I were to come home and discover what appeared to be an adult male in my house, I'd be calling the police. Knowing Wolf, he'd physically confront him.

 

Honestly, anyone unknown being in my home while I was out would result in a call to the police.

 

ETA: We also have a huge dog. Chances are, someone breaking and entering into our home would be not greeted warmly by her. Wanna bet that that would result in a problem for *us*?

Edited January 10, 2012 by Impish

[swellmomma]

I doubt child services would do a thing anyway. If you called and told them the 16 yr old is outside without supervision or at home afterschool without an adult they will not do a thing. Even with his cognitive issues, you do not have his medical file so it is all hearsay. The same is true for watching the busses, or a neighbor told you something etc, they will not do anything. With 2 kids that have significant disabilities from the sounds of it and services in school I am sure they have a caseworker already, Plus it sounds like they are adopted since you mention not biologically related so they would have had a caseworker from that right? The school reported based on what was a physical neglect issue of soiled diapers not being changed. So the family would have been investigated. Even if someone claims they were not investigated because the mother said the father was a dr that's not how it works. While you or I or anyone on this board feels it is neglect, there is nothing to be done about a 16 yr old being home unsupervised as per the law. Past the age of 12 in most places it is allowed, and in most areas it is up the parent's perogative. So as far as the law goes they are following it and child services will not do anything. Legally I could leave my oldest here alone and in charge of the other kids (I wouldn't due his issues) but if someone called children's services for me doing it nothing would come of it.

[Myeightkiddies]

Seriously?

 

The kid is in danger doing this. The typical 16 yo boy looks like an adult, ime.

 

If I were to come home and discover what appeared to be an adult male in my house, I'd be calling the police. Knowing Wolf, he'd physically confront him.

 

Honestly, anyone unknown being in my home while I was out would result in a call to the police.

 

ETA: We also have a huge dog. Chances are, someone breaking and entering into our home would be not greeted warmly by her. Wanna bet that that would result in a problem for *us*?

 

My dogs would not allow it either. They are loud and will most likely be aggressive to a stranger with us not being present.

 

I agree about it being dangerous for the 16 year old to be in someone's home uninvited. For me, that person is an intruder. If they made any aggressive or threatening movements, I would counter the same, while phoning the police. I will not take time to do a psychological evaluation to determine if it is just someone with mental issues, which doesn't necessarily make me feel better.

 

If I know him and he has challenges, I certainly would not treat him as an intruder. I would direct him home and speak with the parents. This isn't the case in this situation. He was in someone's house without them knowing him (just having seen him).

[Laura in MI]

OP, you were concerned enough to start this thread, likely because something feels "not right". Follow your gut feeling on this. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: :grouphug:

[Hannah C.]

Seriously?

 

The kid is in danger doing this. The typical 16 yo boy looks like an adult, ime.

 

If I were to come home and discover what appeared to be an adult male in my house, I'd be calling the police. Knowing Wolf, he'd physically confront him.

 

Honestly, anyone unknown being in my home while I was out would result in a call to the police.

 

:iagree: If I came home and found a stranger in my house, I would be calling the police - no matter what the mental state of the person appeared to be. I'd hope that if it was clear it was a special needs person that the police would treat them accordingly, but I would still be calling the police.

 

You can call the non-emergency police hotline for noise violation, which is what the dogs are doing - unless noise violation doesn't exist where you live, which I suppose is possible.

 

I don't know if I would call CPS or not.

[jillian]

:iagree: If I came home and found a stranger in my house, I would be calling the police - no matter what the mental state of the person appeared to be. I'd hope that if it was clear it was a special needs person that the police would treat them accordingly, but I would still be calling the police.

 

You can call the non-emergency police hotline for noise violation, which is what the dogs are doing - unless noise violation doesn't exist where you live, which I suppose is possible.

 

I don't know if I would call CPS or not.

Absolutely. I mean if I come home and there is someone in my home the defense of my family and myself comes into play first and foremost.

[Harriet Vane]

Most of what you describe here is hearsay (or not directly witnessed by you) and would not be referred for investigation. You have no way of knowing if there was an adult home or not, in any of the instances you describe. I would bet that none of the concerns you describe can be addressed by DCFS. Your post does show a family that is potentially dysfunctional and/or disorganized, but does not show criminal abuse or neglect.

 

The only realistic options I see here are:

 

--Talk to the school counselor about your concerns. That would put the family on the counselor's radar. In all likelihood, though, nothing would come of it, but you never know.

 

--Report those things that concern you to the proper authorities at the time that they actually happen.

 

ETA: The situation you describe in your last paragraph about the supposed investigation is laughable, really. I am not saying that in a derogatory way to you, OP--just saying that that is most definitely not how DCFS operates in any part of the country. That sounds like something someone made up.

Edited January 10, 2012 by strider

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I don't know what state OP is in, but I can't imagine a state in which it is NOT considered criminal child neglect to allow a mentally impaired 16 year old child to supervise younger children and roam the neighbourhood alone. His chronological age is not considered here. If he cannot reason as a 16 year old kid then this is a HUGE problem! He could easily be shot by a homeowner, bitten by a guard dog, etc.

 

I agree that a neurotypical 16 year old supervising siblings, roaming the neighbourhood alone, etc. would NOT be child neglect. However, if this child really is that impaired then this clearly IS child neglect.

[jillian]

I don't know what state OP is in, but I can't imagine a state in which it is NOT considered criminal child neglect to allow a mentally impaired 16 year old child to supervise younger children and roam the neighbourhood alone. His chronological age is not considered here. If he cannot reason as a 16 year old kid then this is a HUGE problem! He could easily be shot by a homeowner, bitten by a guard dog, etc.

 

I agree that a neurotypical 16 year old supervising siblings, roaming the neighbourhood alone, etc. would NOT be child neglect. However, if this child really is that impaired then this clearly IS child neglect.

I agree. Mentally impaired adults are considered a protected class I'd imagine an impaired child would be as well.

[MistyMountain]

I would probably call if I saw a 16 year old with the mental capacity of a 2 year old riding his bike unsupervised late at night. I did see a 16 year old with mental handicaps wandering around with a blanket at night and we did call the police. The boy was a wanderer and his family was trying to figure that out. It wasn't something that was occuring all the time. It happened once before. I wouldn't want to call unless I thought it was warrented and this sounds like one of those situations. I can see that happening but not on a regular basis. He should not be unsupervised so much becuase of his mental age. If a 2 year old was riding his bike late at night with no supervision, reguarly wandering and getting into people's houses and left in charge of children it would warrent a call and this is the same because of his mental capacity. If it happen a handlful of times and the parent was worried and looking for the child it would be different. Just because one parent is a doctor and they have money doesn't mean that they are put in a good situation.

Edited January 10, 2012 by MistyMountain

[BigMamaBird]

It seems worrisome when the child could get hit by a car or even be thought of as an intruder (can you imagine if someone shot him or tackled him?).

 

:iagree:

 

If I came upon a 16 year old man in my home I'd take a swing at him and I'm not a small person. He is running the risk of getting himself seriously hurt.

[StephanieZ]

I am mortified that so many people would ignore this situation.

 

It is obvious that there are no competent older children nor adults present or conscious to supervise these children. An obviously significantly mentally handicapped 16 yo is not competent to self-supervise, let alone supervise other needy children.

 

This is a disaster.

 

What would Jesus do? Would he turn away? Really? Protect the parents from embarrassment/expense/inconvenience instead of the kids from neglect or worse?

 

Unless you are willing to throw yourself under a bus by confronting this situation personally (which I would certainly NOT do given the details provided by OP), it seems obvious that it is the moral duty of any aware adult to make sure there is some intervention for these kids. I.e., call 911 and/or CPS and/or school.

 

Assuming that the school already knows sounds eerily familiar to the frequent abuse horror stories in the news. You can NOT assume that.

 

For God's sake, do something. Soon.

 

FWIW, my bet is that:

1) the mom you reached on the cell was either not home at all or too stoned to know what was going on. The parents are likely gone most of the time drugging/drinking/gambling or feeding some similar addiction.

2) that house is a freaking pigsty and that's why they don't come to the door.

3) those kids are victims of terrible neglect or abuse right now, as we type.

4) you could be in physical danger if you are identified as the reporter. I'd do it anon. Call from a pay phone if you have to. Get the case worker's name that you report to. Then, go back to the pay phone and call again a week later to make sure they are on track to fix the problems.

[melissel]

Sadly, I think Strider is right, but I would call anyway, as long as I could do it anonymously. Maybe enough phone calls, even if they contain incomplete information, would drive some attention their way? If I couldn't do it anonymously, I'd do what Little Nyssa and Strider said--start with the school, tell them what you know and see if they drop any other details (e.g., they are already on it, there are other caseworkers involved, etc.). If the school is already paying attention and working toward dealing with it, I might let it go and only call the police about the dogs or when I saw an actual problem happening right then.

 

Those poor kids :( I too worry about what could happen to that boy if the wrong person finds him in their house or yard, especially if he actually is roaming the neighborhood at night.

Edited January 10, 2012 by melissel

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Due to confidentiality concerns they likely will not tell an RP what the outcome is, nor will they udate RP on what actions are being taken.

 

I once had to call an RP (Reporting Party) back to confirm some details of her initial report. She asked me, "So, when you take her away can I have her? I wasn't able to have kids". :001_huh:

 

Uh,...no. Child WAS removed, but not for the wild outrageous story RP concocted, but for another rather hidden concern. The child WAS in grave danger, but not for the reason reported.

[snowbeltmom]

...

 

ETA: The situation you describe in your last paragraph about the supposed investigation is laughable, really. I am not saying that in a derogatory way to you, OP--just saying that that is most definitely not how DCFS operates in any part of the country. That sounds like something someone made up.

 

The part about Social Services not investigating due to the father's occupation and address did not sound right to me either.

[snowbeltmom]

So what is the worst thing that could happen if you call and report?

 

That nothing is done. The parents find out that I called, and they retaliate somehow. Like I said before, the mom was not rational when I spoke with her about her dogs.

[Trish]

Just read the original post and not any responses, so I don't know if you clarified this, but, is there any evidence that there ARE parents at this house? Sounds sort of "Outsiders" to me. The 16-year-old would be old enough to babysit the others. Not sure how you'd go about getting him deemed unfit to do so, but it sounds like he is in fact unfit.

[jplain]

The parents find out that I called, and they retaliate somehow.

Make it anonymous, and consider doing what StephanieZ suggested. Call from a payphone and politely but firmly insist on remaining anonymous. Explain your reasons. As long as you don't sound like a raving lunatic, CPS shouldn't refuse to take an anonymous report.

[5forMe]

What are the chances the disabled child already has a case worker?

 

I agree with this, however, how many times have we seen/heard of overworked social workers who let things fall through the cracks?

 

Sometimes a nosy neighbor is a life saver to a child.

[Slipper]

I doubt child services would do a thing anyway. If you called and told them the 16 yr old is outside without supervision or at home afterschool without an adult they will not do a thing. Even with his cognitive issues, you do not have his medical file so it is all hearsay. ... With 2 kids that have significant disabilities from the sounds of it and services in school I am sure they have a caseworker already, Plus it sounds like they are adopted since you mention not biologically related so they would have had a caseworker from that right? The school reported based on what was a physical neglect issue of soiled diapers not being changed. So the family would have been investigated. Even if someone claims they were not investigated because the mother said the father was a dr that's not how it works. While you or I or anyone on this board feels it is neglect, there is nothing to be done about a 16 yr old being home unsupervised as per the law. Past the age of 12 in most places it is allowed, and in most areas it is up the parent's perogative. So as far as the law goes they are following it and child services will not do anything. Legally I could leave my oldest here alone and in charge of the other kids (I wouldn't due his issues) but if someone called children's services for me doing it nothing would come of it.

 

I respectfully disagree with your post. If a child/teen is wandering into homes, he is mentally impaired to a point that is immediately recognizable to the casual observer. She wouldn't need medical records - just noting that someone appears to have a disability of some type would be sufficient for concern. Otherwise, he is a neuro-typical teenager who is wandering through other people's houses. :glare: That's also not a good thing.

 

Just because a child has both a disability and receives services at school does not mean they have a caseworker or anyone checking in on them. My daughter has a disability and services through ps and we've never seen a social worker or case worker.

 

Leaving a mentally impaired child/teen in charge will not work. A family should go by the age of the oldest child who is mentally/physically capable of handling an emergency.

 

I don't think they would investigate over a dirty diaper/pull up unless it was consistent or there were signs that it was an ongoing problem (rashes, welts, etc). However, if enough complaints about things of that nature stacked up, they would investigate. Most schools (if they know the parents) give the parents a lot of slack in regards to things of that nature.

[snowbeltmom]

Make it anonymous, and consider doing what StephanieZ suggested. Call from a payphone and politely but firmly insist on remaining anonymous. Explain your reasons. As long as you don't sound like a raving lunatic, CPS shouldn't refuse to take an anonymous report.

 

Are cell phone numbers anonymous or can they be traced? We don't have any pay phones around us. I hate feeling like such a coward, but I am concerned about the fall-out if the parents find out, especially in light of the fact that I am now more convinced that my phone call will not do much good based solely on what I have witnessed first-hand.

 

I am still considering making the call because I would hate to think that if something does happen, that I could have somehow prevented it with my phone call.

[LostSurprise]

With so much second person and hearsay, I would call the school (middle and high school). They are mandatory reporters and if the bus driver is reporting then half of your concerns are already in the system and the school has another reason to take everything from those children seriously.

 

I'd also try to get additional information to see if your neighbor (the one who experienced the 16 year old trespassing) could report anonymously, and then try to convince her to do so.

 

Then I would keep my eyes open and document every situation I saw first hand. When I had enough first person experience I'd report. Reckless bike riding, dogs barking, and a bus mix-up are kind of marginal. Good reasons for you to be aware and ready...but marginal.

[jplain]

Are cell phone numbers anonymous or can they be traced?

No, cell phone numbers do show up on caller ID, unless you've signed up for caller ID blocking. However, you should be able to block caller ID by entering *67 before dialing the number you're calling. The other thing you can do is buy a pre-paid calling card (like the kind you can buy at a grocery store) and use that. The call will be routed through the calling card company system, so your actual number won't show up on Caller ID.

[G5052]

It isn't your job to untangle this mess, and certainly there is evidence of not caring for the children as a chosen pattern. It is different when it happens every once in awhile (i.e. Mom is sick, so no one comes out for the bus once), versus the consistency you are seeing. Of course Protective Services makes mistakes and things can get messy, but I know several of the local folks who do that for a living, and they are very genuine people who want to protect children. Just make sure that you ONLY relate what you are sure about and have witnessed yourself. Don't be guessing or reporting what others have said.

 

I called Adult Protective Services some years ago on a relative, and I have no regrets even though the abused individual refused to press charges despite the ample evidence. I gave them a chance, and did my duty as a citizen and relative.

Edited January 10, 2012 by GVA

[Joanne]

I am mortified that so many people would ignore this situation.

 

It is obvious that there are no competent older children nor adults present or conscious to supervise these children. An obviously significantly mentally handicapped 16 yo is not competent to self-supervise, let alone supervise other needy children.

 

This is a disaster.

 

What would Jesus do? Would he turn away? Really? Protect the parents from embarrassment/expense/inconvenience instead of the kids from neglect or worse?

 

Unless you are willing to throw yourself under a bus by confronting this situation personally (which I would certainly NOT do given the details provided by OP), it seems obvious that it is the moral duty of any aware adult to make sure there is some intervention for these kids. I.e., call 911 and/or CPS and/or school.

 

Assuming that the school already knows sounds eerily familiar to the frequent abuse horror stories in the news. You can NOT assume that.

 

For God's sake, do something. Soon.

 

FWIW, my bet is that:

1) the mom you reached on the cell was either not home at all or too stoned to know what was going on. The parents are likely gone most of the time drugging/drinking/gambling or feeding some similar addiction.

2) that house is a freaking pigsty and that's why they don't come to the door.

3) those kids are victims of terrible neglect or abuse right now, as we type.

4) you could be in physical danger if you are identified as the reporter. I'd do it anon. Call from a pay phone if you have to. Get the case worker's name that you report to. Then, go back to the pay phone and call again a week later to make sure they are on track to fix the problems.

 

Those of us who are not jumping on the "call" bandwagon are not in support of the situation. We are not offering to high five the family for their stellar performance.

 

But the OP, and subsequent posts, are full of a lot of assumption, hearsay, and even some unlikely events.

[Reeciecup]

I'll bet the situation has already been reported. It seems that social services are quick to investigate bio parents, but foster parents are granted much more leeway when it comes to abuse or neglect.

 

I think the situation should be reported, but I don't have much faith in the authorities to correct the situation.

[zaichiki]

FWIW, my bet is that:

1) the mom you reached on the cell was either not home at all or too stoned to know what was going on. The parents are likely gone most of the time drugging/drinking/gambling or feeding some similar addiction.

2) that house is a freaking pigsty and that's why they don't come to the door.

3) those kids are victims of terrible neglect or abuse right now, as we type.

4) you could be in physical danger if you are identified as the reporter. I'd do it anon. Call from a pay phone if you have to. Get the case worker's name that you report to. Then, go back to the pay phone and call again a week later to make sure they are on track to fix the problems.

 

Please be careful. This is all assumption.

We have no idea where the mother was. And there is no proof of anything. I wonder how the OP knows the 16 year old has the mental abilities of a toddler? He rides a bike, waits for a bus, and helps another sibling in a wheelchair. MY toddler can't do those things. I think the mental age is assumption, too. (Sounds like OP doesn't really know the family well enough to know a detail like this.)

[snowbeltmom]

Please be careful. This is all assumption.

We have no idea where the mother was. And there is no proof of anything. I wonder how the OP knows the 16 year old has the mental abilities of a toddler? He rides a bike, waits for a bus, and helps another sibling in a wheelchair. MY toddler can't do those things. I think the mental age is assumption, too. (Sounds like OP doesn't really know the family well enough to know a detail like this.)

 

You are absolutely correct. There are many assumptions on my part. If I knew for a fact that all of what I have heard second hand were true, I would have called by now. The cognitive ability was also told to me by a neighbor whose friend works in our school system. I was told he is a "crack" baby. So, yes, this is another assumption as well.

 

I can tell you that when he was almost run over by the car, there was absolutely no recognition on his part how close he came to getting hit. The driver got out of his car to yell at the kid, and the kid just smiled and waved (and not in a snide way).

 

I don't know much at all. The vast majority is "through the grapevine". All I know for sure is the following:

 

I have never seen an adult outside supervising the kids. One child is mentally challenged; he has no idea about the rules of the road when riding his bike and has almost been hit twice (times that I have witnessed.)

 

Another child always pushes the child in the wheelchair onto the bus. If the special needs bus arrives before the other school bus, an adult is not available to get the child in the wheelchair off the bus. (This happened again today, although this time the bus driver did not go knock on the door. She waited about 5 minutes and then drove away with the boy still on the bus.)

 

The mentally challenged child goes into homes and takes food from the refrigerator. While this has not happened to us (we have a big dog), I am good friends with one of the families (more than just neighborhood friends if that makes sense.) so I know this is true.

[southcarolinamom]

Bottom line, I would ... go with my instincts... my motherly "gut," and call an authority.

[annandatje]

'