Should I report this family to Children's Services?

[snowbeltmom]

I am concerned about the kids who live across the street from me, but I am not sure if I should get involved or simply mind my own business. Here is the background:

 

This family moved into our neighborhood a couple of years ago. I went over twice to introduce myself when they first moved in (and I thought they were home), but no one ever answered the door. Shortly thereafter, they had four dogs and a "No Trespassing Sign" by their front door, so I never went back. I have no idea what the parents even look like.

 

The couple has four children that are not biological siblings. At least two of the four children have special needs. The oldest child is 16 years old and attends our public middle school. He has extreme cognitive delays. Another one of their children is confined to a wheel chair and is also in middle school.

 

The 16 year old roams the neighborhood unsupervised (no one has ever seen the parents). Another neighbor told me she has seen this child roaming the streets after midnight. I have not seen him out at that hour.

 

We have no sidewalks in our neighborhood, and the speed limit is 35 mph. I have witnessed first hand two separate occasions when this boy has almost been hit by a car while riding his bike. The first time he sped down his driveway and continued out into the path of a car without even looking. The second time, he was riding on the street and did a U-turn right into the path of the oncoming car.

 

The vast majority of traffic in our neighborhood is local, and the neighborhood drivers know enough when they see him on his bike that he has the mental capacity of a two year old and to treat him accordingly. The obvious problem is the drivers who see the adult-sized boy and expect him to know basic traffic rules.

 

This boy also enters other families' homes uninvited and takes food out of the refrigerators. Last summer our street was being repaved. My neighbor arrived home to find this boy in her house (she now locks her house when she leaves). He had walked barefoot through the hot blacktop and tracked asphalt everywhere.

 

I am also concerned that the child in the wheel chair is neglected and all the children are unsupervised after school, but I don't have any concrete evidence. I have witnessed two separate situations:

 

The first happened last spring. A separate school bus picks up the child in the wheel chair. Another child always brings the boy out to the bus. I have never seen either parent meet the bus either in the morning or afternoon. Last spring the kids in the middle school went on a 3-day school trip. The special needs bus stopped at the house to pick up the boy in the wheel chair. When the boy did not come out, the bus driver started beeping her horn (this is what got my attention). When the child still did not come out of the house, the bus driver went up and knocked on the door. The youngest little girl (early elementary age) opened the door. The bus driver spoke to the little girl, and then the bus driver got back in the bus without the boy and drove away. I was told by another neighbor who has a friend that works at our public school, that the bus driver came back to school and said that when the little girl answered the door, the bus driver asked to speak to one of her parents (it was 6:30 in the morning). The little girl said her parents were not home and she had no idea where they were.

 

The second instance happened yesterday. Usually the 16 year old boy with the cognitive delays is dropped off first. He then stays outside until the second bus comes and helps his brother in the wheel chair off of his bus and pushes him into the house. Yesterday, the special needs bus arrived before the other bus. No one came out to get the child off the bus. The bus driver beeped her horn for a good 2 minutes and then got out of the bus and knocked on the door. No one answered so she drove away with the boy still on the bus. I left my house shortly afterwards, so I don't know how the situation was resolved. Obviously, my concern is that no adult is ever home in the afternoon to supervise these children.

 

If you are still reading, thanks. Any advice on if I should intervene, and if I should intervene, who should I call, the school or social services? I have spoken to a couple of the other neighbors and they are reluctant to get involved and think the school should handle it. (I am definitely not eager to get involved either.)

 

I have been told by a neighbor that the school did report this family to Social Services last year because the child in the wheel chair was coming to school on Monday mornings with an extremely soiled diaper that the aid needed to change immediately upon arrival. I was also told by this same person that Social Services did not investigate because the mother said that her husband is a doctor and the family lives in a nice neighborhood. I have no idea how Social Services works, but I am having a hard time believing that the situation would not be investigated if the school did in fact report them.

 

Any advice?

[ThatCyndiGirl]

You can report anonymously. I would do so. Call the child abuse and neglect hotline in your state.

[Myeightkiddies]

I was also told by this same person that Social Services did not investigate because the mother said that her husband is a doctor and the family lives in a nice neighborhood. I have no idea how Social Services works, but I am having a hard time believing that the situation would not be investigated if the school did in fact report them.

 

Any advice?

 

Social Services, in general, investigate all reports of child abuse/neglect. It matters little whether the husband is a doctor or the family lives in a nice neighborhood. Chances are no one reported anything.

 

You can only really report what you know. If you decide to do so, write down what you have witnessed and not what you've heard.

 

The neighbor who found the boy in her house should have phoned the authorities.

[SKL]

As much as I believe in parents' rights, that sounds like a problematic situation that deserves at least a look. I would not blame you if you called.

[Parrothead]

What are the chances the disabled child already has a case worker?

[Mommy_of_4]

I would call.

[Jen in PA]

As much as I believe in parents' rights, that sounds like a problematic situation that deserves at least a look. I would not blame you if you called.

 

:iagree:

[jillian]

I'd call and report that. Anonymously. The case of the boy entering people's homes and taking food, is a big issue and a huge red flag. It can't hurt to have CPS step in and check it out

[stripe]

It seems worrisome when the child could get hit by a car or even be thought of as an intruder (can you imagine if someone shot him or tackled him?).

[silliness7]

I think one should have more concrete evidence before they tattle on their neighbors. Knock on the door. Have a conversation with one of the parents or one of the kids. Not a neighbor. It's fine to be a concerned citizen. Bring a batch of cookies and see how you can help. Obviously you *can* call if you want to, but I don't think it's the right thing to do with your amount of info.

[Pretty in Pink]

I would also call.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I think one should have more concrete evidence before they tattle on their neighbors. Knock on the door. Have a conversation with one of the parents or one of the kids. Not a neighbor. It's fine to be a concerned citizen. Bring a batch of cookies and see how you can help. Obviously you *can* call if you want to, but I don't think it's the right thing to do with your amount of info.

 

She can't.

 

She tried to introduce herself and welcome them when they moved in and they refused to answer the door and responded with "NO TRESPASSING" signs.

 

Call the hotline!

[RainbowSprinkles]

I am concerned about the kids who live across the street from me, but I am not sure if I should get involved or simply mind my own business. Here is the background:

 

This family moved into our neighborhood a couple of years ago. I went over twice to introduce myself when they first moved in (and I thought they were home), but no one ever answered the door. Shortly thereafter, they had four dogs and a "No Trespassing Sign" by their front door, so I never went back. I have no idea what the parents even look like.

 

The couple has four children that are not biological siblings. At least two of the four children have special needs. The oldest child is 16 years old and attends our public middle school. He has extreme cognitive delays. Another one of their children is confined to a wheel chair and is also in middle school.

 

The 16 year old roams the neighborhood unsupervised (no one has ever seen the parents). Another neighbor told me she has seen this child roaming the streets after midnight. I have not seen him out at that hour.

 

We have no sidewalks in our neighborhood, and the speed limit is 35 mph. I have witnessed first hand two separate occasions when this boy has almost been hit by a car while riding his bike. The first time he sped down his driveway and continued out into the path of a car without even looking. The second time, he was riding on the street and did a U-turn right into the path of the oncoming car.

 

The vast majority of traffic in our neighborhood is local, and the neighborhood drivers know enough when they see him on his bike that he has the mental capacity of a two year old and to treat him accordingly. The obvious problem is the drivers who see the adult-sized boy and expect him to know basic traffic rules.

 

This boy also enters other families' homes uninvited and takes food out of the refrigerators. Last summer our street was being repaved. My neighbor arrived home to find this boy in her house (she now locks her house when she leaves). He had walked barefoot through the hot blacktop and tracked asphalt everywhere.

 

I am also concerned that the child in the wheel chair is neglected and all the children are unsupervised after school, but I don't have any concrete evidence. I have witnessed two separate situations:

 

The first happened last spring. A separate school bus picks up the child in the wheel chair. Another child always brings the boy out to the bus. I have never seen either parent meet the bus either in the morning or afternoon. Last spring the kids in the middle school went on a 3-day school trip. The special needs bus stopped at the house to pick up the boy in the wheel chair. When the boy did not come out, the bus driver started beeping her horn (this is what got my attention). When the child still did not come out of the house, the bus driver went up and knocked on the door. The youngest little girl (early elementary age) opened the door. The bus driver spoke to the little girl, and then the bus driver got back in the bus without the boy and drove away. I was told by another neighbor who has a friend that works at our public school, that the bus driver came back to school and said that when the little girl answered the door, the bus driver asked to speak to one of her parents (it was 6:30 in the morning). The little girl said her parents were not home and she had no idea where they were.

 

The second instance happened yesterday. Usually the 16 year old boy with the cognitive delays is dropped off first. He then stays outside until the second bus comes and helps his brother in the wheel chair off of his bus and pushes him into the house. Yesterday, the special needs bus arrived before the other bus. No one came out to get the child off the bus. The bus driver beeped her horn for a good 2 minutes and then got out of the bus and knocked on the door. No one answered so she drove away with the boy still on the bus. I left my house shortly afterwards, so I don't know how the situation was resolved. Obviously, my concern is that no adult is ever home in the afternoon to supervise these children.

 

If you are still reading, thanks. Any advice on if I should intervene, and if I should intervene, who should I call, the school or social services? I have spoken to a couple of the other neighbors and they are reluctant to get involved and think the school should handle it. (I am definitely not eager to get involved either.)

 

I have been told by a neighbor that the school did report this family to Social Services last year because the child in the wheel chair was coming to school on Monday mornings with an extremely soiled diaper that the aid needed to change immediately upon arrival. I was also told by this same person that Social Services did not investigate because the mother said that her husband is a doctor and the family lives in a nice neighborhood. I have no idea how Social Services works, but I am having a hard time believing that the situation would not be investigated if the school did in fact report them.

 

Any advice?

 

 

I would call. It sounds like those children are pretty much on their own. It shouldn't matter that the husband is a doctor or that they live in a nice neighborhood. I wouldn't believe information by a neighbor unless I knew the neighbor really well and that the neighbor can be trusted.

[KidsHappen]

I am the last person in the world that would ever recommend reporting to CPS. I am ademantly opposed to the idea and would ony recommend it in the most dire of circumstances. This one comes close enough that I would not blame a person for doing so. Obviously, they have some stream of income so there are adults involved somehow but they don't seem to be present and engaged and we are talking about LD and SN children. I am kind of wondering if there really are any adults there at all. Is it possible that the children are living off some sort of trust fund administered by an older sibling or other relative who doesn't want to see them broken up but who can provide the complete care they need? It certainly sounds strange.

 

I am very introverted. I am talking hermit level here and yet my neighbors see me, they occassionally talk to me, they know that I exist. They know that I am strange but they can also see that the kids are actively taken care of. I simply can't imagine someone that neighbors could see less of than me when they have children out and about.

[MariannNOVA]

I think one should have more concrete evidence before they tattle on their neighbors. Knock on the door. Have a conversation with one of the parents or one of the kids. Not a neighbor. It's fine to be a concerned citizen. Bring a batch of cookies and see how you can help. I have to ask: Did you read the original post?:confused:

 

 

Obviously you *can* call if you want to, but I don't think it's the right thing to do with your amount of info.

 

.

[SunD]

I would report what I have witnessed personally, the older boy nearly being hit by cars and perpetually unsupervised at night. If that is his mental capacity, he shouldn't be riding a bike in traffic or wandering the streets, especially after dark.

 

You'd be reporting this situation because the parents refuse to talk to you, you've never even seen them. When you did attempt to talk to them they responded by putting up No Trespassing signs, so you want to respect their property and privacy on it, but he is wandering dangerously.

 

Also, he doesn't seem to have the ability to care for the younger one. If they are really home alone in the afternoon, that would concern me too.

[snowbeltmom]

What are the chances the disabled child already has a case worker?

 

I don't know whether he has a case worker. I certainly would feel much better if I knew that he did, and I would not be considering getting involved.

[Impish]

Like KidsHappen, I'm rarely seen...but that doesn't mean 'never'. Wolf, otoh, is seen on a regular basis w/the kids.

 

There's enough reason to place a call, imo.

 

I'd be very, very surprised if the school/bus drivers haven't made a call yet. I'd think that bus drivers are mandated reporters, and the statement that the child didn't know where her parents are would be enough of a concern to rate a call, at least, I'd think so, at 630 am and an early elementary school age.

[snowbeltmom]

Social Services, in general, investigate all reports of child abuse/neglect. It matters little whether the husband is a doctor or the family lives in a nice neighborhood. Chances are no one reported anything.

 

You can only really report what you know. If you decide to do so, write down what you have witnessed and not what you've heard.

 

The neighbor who found the boy in her house should have phoned the authorities.

 

I would definitely have called if I had found him in my house.

 

I don't have much first hand information. I would never let the 16 yr old on a bike unsupervised, but is that just a parenting decision? With the other two situations, the bus driver obviously has more information than I.

[snowbeltmom]

I think one should have more concrete evidence before they tattle on their neighbors. Knock on the door. Have a conversation with one of the parents or one of the kids. Not a neighbor. It's fine to be a concerned citizen. Bring a batch of cookies and see how you can help. Obviously you *can* call if you want to, but I don't think it's the right thing to do with your amount of info.

 

I don't like the idea of "tattling" on my neighbors; that is why I have ignored the situation up until now. I have tried to introduce myself before, and no one answered the door. Now that they have the dogs out most of the time (and one is a pit bull) I am never stepping foot in the yard.

[kitten18]

You can report anonymously. I would do so. Call the child abuse and neglect hotline in your state.

:iagree:

[Impish]

I would definitely have called if I had found him in my house.

 

I don't have much first hand information. I would never let the 16 yr old on a bike unsupervised, but is that just a parenting decision? With the other two situations, the bus driver obviously has more information than I.

Lots of things come under the heading of 'parenting decisions' but that doesn't mean that they're right, safe, or not abusive.

 

The decision to use PVC piping to beat a child to death is a parenting decision (thinking of the accounts that have been discussed here, a la Pearl's advice), but absolutely should have been reported.

 

It's not a matter of chronological age that should be govening the decision regarding the 16 yo and bike riding. A NT 16 yo is able to get their driver's licence. It's a matter of safety, and how capable and aware he is of it.

 

If he has the safety awareness of a toddler, then allowing him to be riding his bike unsupervised is dangerous, period.

[Lawana]

:grouphug::grouphug:

What a terrible situation to be in.

 

I would consider one more attempt to contact the parents─by USPS mail─before calling authorities. Express concern about the 16yo's safety while riding in the street, and ask for return communication. That would give them a last chance before being reported.

 

Does anyone ever see vehicles come and go? Someone has to be bringing groceries, etc. What an odd, disturbing situation.

[houseofkids&pets]

Perhaps you and the neighbor (the one who found the boy in her home) could both get together and call CPS. I agree with a pp who recommended reporting only what you both have actually observed and not heard through the grape vine.

 

Since we are talking about some younger children and children with special needs, I would definitely call. They need someone to protect them. I would rather make that call than have something bad happen since I know that I would always wonder if I could have helped those children in some way.

 

What about the dogs you mentioned? Are they taken care of, or left outside barking non-stop? As an animal lover, I would call if animals are not properly housed or fed. I know that wasn't what your original post was about, but I wanted to mention it. Or maybe they take better care of their pets than their kids??

 

You are in a difficult situation. :grouphug:

[ocelotmom]

I'd call and report that. Anonymously. The case of the boy entering people's homes and taking food, is a big issue and a huge red flag. It can't hurt to have CPS step in and check it out

 

While I agree that calling CPS is probably a good idea in this circumstance, I think it's important to avoid reading too much into taking food, especially with kids who likely have inadequate social filters.

 

My housemate was reported to CPS because her daughter was taking food from trash cans. Her daughter is autistic, and does best on a gluten free, casein free, low glycemic index diet. This is supported both by her doctor and ABA therapists, she gets adequate nutrition, and she is very healthy. But she'll sneak food that isn't allowed or is limited on her diet given the slightest opportunity. And given that the things she was sneaking from the trashcan were things like sandwiches and yogurt (generally viewed as healthy, but not on her diet), it gave the impression that she was sneaking food out of hunger rather than treat-seeking. The primary problem in this situation was that the school was allowing a child who is supposed to have a one-on-one aide to wander around unsupervised.

 

I've heard similar stories from other parents with kids who have developmental disabilities and restricted diets.

 

That said... a child with a significant intellectual disability shouldn't be unsupervised to that extent, and a child capable of being left unsupervised should have boundaries in place that prevent that. So yes, the situation does raise a red flag, but not the food stealing in itself.

Edited January 10, 2012 by ocelotmom

[snowbeltmom]

:grouphug::grouphug:

What a terrible situation to be in.

 

I would consider one more attempt to contact the parents─by USPS mail─before calling authorities. Express concern about the 16yo's safety while riding in the street, and ask for return communication. That would give them a last chance before being reported.

 

Does anyone ever see vehicles come and go? Someone has to be bringing groceries, etc. What an odd, disturbing situation.

 

Vehicles do come and go. I don't want to contact the parents directly about this for fear of retribution.

[jillian]

While I agree that calling CPS is probably a good idea in this circumstance, I think it's important to avoid reading too much into taking food, especially with kids who likely have inadequate social filters.

 

My housemate was reported to CPS because her daughter was taking food from trash cans. Her daughter is autistic, and does best on a gluten free, casein free, low glycemic index diet. This is supported both by her doctor and ABA therapists, she gets adequate nutrition, and she is very healthy. But she'll sneak food that isn't allowed or is limited on her diet given the slightest opportunity. And given that the things she was sneaking from the trashcan were things like sandwiches and yogurt (generally viewed as healthy, but not on her diet), it gave the impression that she was sneaking food out of hunger rather than treat-seeking.

 

I've heard similar stories from other parents with kids who have developmental disabilities and restricted diets.

 

That said... a child with a significant intellectual disability shouldn't be unsupervised to that extent, and a child capable of being left unsupervised should have boundaries in place that prevent that. So yes, the situation does raise a red flag, but not the food stealing in itself.

While that's true the walking into someone else's home and taking food because of the lack of supervision is more where the concern is coming from on my end, the whole of the situation, not just taking food or just walking into someone else's house. The supervision really does seem to be the main issue above anything else though :)

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I don't feel like there is enough information. They have issues, that's apparent, but I'm not sure it's neglect.

 

:confused: For a special needs child with the mental capacity of a toddler to ride his bike in the street, narrowly missing cars? For the same child to enter other houses for food? WITH NO ADULT INTERVENTION?

 

 

OP, you were concerned enough to start this thread, likely because something feels "not right". Follow your gut feeling on this. :grouphug:

[Slipper]

Vehicles do come and go. I don't want to contact the parents directly about this for fear of retribution.

 

I don't blame you. I once had to contact CPS about a relative of ours who had a filthy house - mattresses with no sheets, power turned off occasionally, kids always hungry. When the social worker looked inside the refrigerator, it was full of moldy food. When he opened the freezer, it was full of liquor bottles. The situation improved for the kids but my relative was swearing violent retribution (including suing, beating and hospitalizing) for the person who did it. People become angry when they are embarrassed. It's a difficult situation.

 

If the animals are not being taken care of, you could call that in anonymously - they would come by to talk to the parents. They could then call if they noticed something out of the ordinary.

 

In my opinion, I think you should call. My concern was over the child who was entering other people's houses. That isn't unusual for kids with severe disabilities (who need constant supervision). My daughter has entered a few houses herself (with myself or another adult in hot pursuit behind her). The problem with that is when someone thinks the child (who now looks like an adult) is an intruder and they are shot.

 

I think you should call and report all of it and your concern for the kids. I think you should ask your neighbor if she would verify your information if she is contacted. Sometimes people are afraid to make the call, but will give information if someone calls them. You could then tell the social worker that your neighbor is willing to talk if he/she calls them. Two other relatives vouched that what I was saying was true to the social worker when I called.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[snowbeltmom]

Perhaps you and the neighbor (the one who found the boy in her home) could both get together and call CPS. I agree with a pp who recommended reporting only what you both have actually observed and not heard through the grape vine.

 

Since we are talking about some younger children and children with special needs, I would definitely call. They need someone to protect them. I would rather make that call than have something bad happen since I know that I would always wonder if I could have helped those children in some way.

 

What about the dogs you mentioned? Are they taken care of, or left outside barking non-stop? As an animal lover, I would call if animals are not properly housed or fed. I know that wasn't what your original post was about, but I wanted to mention it. Or maybe they take better care of their pets than their kids??

 

You are in a difficult situation. :grouphug:

The other mom does not want to get involved. She had a real problem with this boy for awhile before she got up enough nerve to call the boy's mom and told her to keep her son off of her property. (There were also other issues with the boy that caused my friend to be concerned for her younger dd's safety. Again, this is another rumor that I have no first-hand knowledge of.)

 

The dogs are left out just about all the time. In addition to the pit bull, they have two terriers and another bigger dog. The terriers bark all.day.long. and are outside regardless of the weather. The dogs are usually out by 4:30 in the morning barking their heads off.

 

I had had enough of the barking last year and called over to the house one Sunday morning before 7:00 a.m. We have a neighborhood directory, but the phone number listed had been disconnected. My oldest was in the p.s. for one class at the time, and the school directory had a cell phone number listed. I HATE confrontation and tried to be as nice as possible asking her if she could keep her dogs in on a Sunday morning. It was a bizarre conversation: She first asked me if I was "the crazy neighbors who called to complain because her boy was playing with their inground sprinklers." When I told her that I don't have a sprinkler system and have no idea what she is talking about, she then tried telling me that all her dogs were currently in the house. I told her that, " I am staring at your dog at this very moment and it is definitely outside barking its head off." She hung up on me at that point.

 

She then called back five minutes later spewing a string of profanities and saying that I was crazy for saying her dogs were barking. It was the most bizarre and unnerving phone call. I never spoke in the 2nd conversation and hung up on her midstream.

[SunshineMom]

Please call CPS. I was a social worker before homeschooling and this family is in desperate need of help.

[ktgrok]

If the 16 year old is there they probably are considered supervised. Even if he has delays.

[kiana]

I can't say what you should do. But I would call.

[ktgrok]

The other mom does not want to get involved. She had a real problem with this boy for awhile before she got up enough nerve to call the boy's mom and told her to keep her son off of her property. (There were also other issues with the boy that caused my friend to be concerned for her younger dd's safety. Again, this is another rumor that I have no first-hand knowledge of.)

 

The dogs are left out just about all the time. In addition to the pit bull, they have two terriers and another bigger dog. The terriers bark all.day.long. and are outside regardless of the weather. The dogs are usually out by 4:30 in the morning barking their heads off.

 

I had had enough of the barking last year and called over to the house one Sunday morning before 7:00 a.m. We have a neighborhood directory, but the phone number listed had been disconnected. My oldest was in the p.s. for one class at the time, and the school directory had a cell phone number listed. I HATE confrontation and tried to be as nice as possible asking her if she could keep her dogs in on a Sunday morning. It was a bizarre conversation: She first asked me if I was "the crazy neighbors who called to complain because her boy was playing with their inground sprinklers." When I told her that I don't have a sprinkler system and have no idea what she is talking about, she then tried telling me that all her dogs were currently in the house. I told her that, " I am staring at your dog at this very moment and it is definitely outside barking its head off." She hung up on me at that point.

 

She then called back five minutes later spewing a string of profanities and saying that I was crazy for saying her dogs were barking. It was the most bizarre and unnerving phone call. I never spoke in the 2nd conversation and hung up on her midstream.

 

Ok, this plus the other stuff, I would report.

[houseofkids&pets]

Yikes!! I don't blame you for not wanting to confront this family. I would find out from Social Services how the reporting works in your area. Hopefully, you would be able to remain anonymous. From your phone call to her, it sounds like you are not the only neighbor who has called them, so if your report is "anonymous", they wouldn't know where it came from.

 

I don't like conflict either, so I get where you are coming from. How awful for all of you!

[zaichiki]

:grouphug::grouphug:

What a terrible situation to be in.

 

I would consider one more attempt to contact the parents─by USPS mail─before calling authorities. Express concern about the 16yo's safety while riding in the street, and ask for return communication. That would give them a last chance before being reported.

 

Does anyone ever see vehicles come and go? Someone has to be bringing groceries, etc. What an odd, disturbing situation.

 

I agree.

 

And when/if you do decide to call CPS, you should probably only report things you have firsthand knowledge of, like the dangerous biking. If the neighbors have firsthand knowledge, you should definitely encourage them to call and report also, but you can't really report "he said/she said" stuff. What if someone is giving you a story???

[lailasmum]

I think you should report them, you have several concerns and you never know it could be fleshing out reports made by other people. Also do the dogs have access to water and shelter when they are outside?. If the dogs are being neglected is there a body you can report them to who will investigate?

 

edit-Not sure where the little blue smiley with sunglasses in the subject line came from, I didn't press any thing!

Edited January 10, 2012 by lailasmum

[elegantlion]

So you've talked with the parents, but never seen them? So they do exist.

 

I don't know, I would ere on the side of caution. Only you can really say if it is more cautious to call and be sure, or to not call.

[Lawana]

Vehicles do come and go. I don't want to contact the parents directly about this for fear of retribution.

In that case, I would report. I think the situation warrants it, and I have a quite high tolerance for letting families work things out for themselves. But there seems to be a strong case that the 16yo is at serious risk for injury. (Citing only what you have witnessed personally.)

[Little Nyssa]

Here's my thoughts:

1. Don't worry about trying to engage the parents. That's not going to work and it is going to put you in danger.

2. From now on, call the police if you see a worrying situation at that very moment when it happens: for example, son in someone's house, or riding his bicycle unsafely.

 

And, the world is not on your shoulders! There has been plenty of opportunity for the school, bus drivers, etc, to have noticed the problems, and chances are that they have already been reported, more than once, by someone else.

 

What I would do is call the school, ask to speak to the guidance counselor or school social worker or whoever it is at that school, and express your concerns.

They will likely say, Yes, we are very much aware of this family and steps are about to be taken. Or, if they say, no, we had no idea, then you will know that you are the one who has to report.

You need more information.

:grouphug:

[In the Rain]

:confused: For a special needs child with the mental capacity of a toddler to ride his bike in the street, narrowly missing cars? For the same child to enter other houses for food? WITH NO ADULT INTERVENTION?

 

 

OP, you were concerned enough to start this thread, likely because something feels "not right". Follow your gut feeling on this. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

[Janie Grace]

I tend to "leave well enough alone" but in this case, YES. I'd call the school and I'd call CPS.

[snowbeltmom]

So you've talked with the parents, but never seen them? So they do exist.

 

I don't know, I would ere on the side of caution. Only you can really say if it is more cautious to call and be sure, or to not call.

 

Yes, I did talk to the mom, but since their landline phone has been disconnected, I have no way of knowing if she was home at the time of the call since the number I reached her on was her cell phone. One of the kids came out and took the dog in after my initial call, not the mom.

[chepyl]

I would call. With the mother's attitude and the fact that they are never seen, I would call.

[snowbeltmom]

I think you should report them, you have several concerns and you never know it could be fleshing out reports made by other people. Also do the dogs have access to water and shelter when they are outside?. If the dogs are being neglected is there a body you can report them to who will investigate?

 

edit-Not sure where the little blue smiley with sunglasses in the subject line came from, I didn't press any thing!

 

One of the garage doors is raised enough for the dogs to get into for shelter. I have no idea about the food/water situation, but I am assuming that they are getting enough to eat since they have enough energy to bark all. day. long.

[Parrothead]

The other mom does not want to get involved. She had a real problem with this boy for awhile before she got up enough nerve to call the boy's mom and told her to keep her son off of her property. (There were also other issues with the boy that caused my friend to be concerned for her younger dd's safety. Again, this is another rumor that I have no first-hand knowledge of.)

 

The dogs are left out just about all the time. In addition to the pit bull, they have two terriers and another bigger dog. The terriers bark all.day.long. and are outside regardless of the weather. The dogs are usually out by 4:30 in the morning barking their heads off.

 

I had had enough of the barking last year and called over to the house one Sunday morning before 7:00 a.m. We have a neighborhood directory, but the phone number listed had been disconnected. My oldest was in the p.s. for one class at the time, and the school directory had a cell phone number listed. I HATE confrontation and tried to be as nice as possible asking her if she could keep her dogs in on a Sunday morning. It was a bizarre conversation: She first asked me if I was "the crazy neighbors who called to complain because her boy was playing with their inground sprinklers." When I told her that I don't have a sprinkler system and have no idea what she is talking about, she then tried telling me that all her dogs were currently in the house. I told her that, " I am staring at your dog at this very moment and it is definitely outside barking its head off." She hung up on me at that point.

 

She then called back five minutes later spewing a string of profanities and saying that I was crazy for saying her dogs were barking. It was the most bizarre and unnerving phone call. I never spoke in the 2nd conversation and hung up on her midstream.

You should have just called the police. If the dogs are disturbing the peace that does count in most states. Let them deal with it.

[mirth]

 

This boy also enters other families' homes uninvited ...

 

Wow, this a good way to get yourself shot. Someone (like police or a social worker) needs to have a talk with this boy or his parents before something bad happens.

[snowbeltmom]

 

And, the world is not on your shoulders! There has been plenty of opportunity for the school, bus drivers, etc, to have noticed the problems, and chances are that they have already been reported, more than once, by someone else.

 

 

You need more information.

:grouphug:

 

I hope that they have been reported by someone who has more concrete information. Maybe the school is the best place for me to start. I am just feeling terrible about this,especially after yesterday with no one to get the child off of the bus.

[LibraryLover]

I'm betting all of these kids have caseworkers already. They probably know there are issues, but have few to no other placements available.

Edited January 10, 2012 by LibraryLover