At what age can my little girl go into the store and buy tortillas?

[stripe]

someone would report a loan child. Seven would probably get you a visit to the slammer.

I love the idea of a loan child.

 

When I was 9 or 10, my friend and I used to cruise the neighborhood collecting cans, and then trade them in at the convenience store to buy candy. Snort.

[Canadianmumof5]

DS10 goes in occassionally on his own, but he is the only one.

Under 10 is too young IMHO.

[LisaKinVA]

I live where most of the stores are large, with multiple entrances. So, in my area a 7yo would be too young to send into those stores

 

I started allowing my oldest son to drop off and pick up the dry cleaning when he was 9. He was always in full view from where I was in the car (with the other 4 children... one or two being asleep). I would probably also allow my son to go into a small convenience store (again, with one entrance/exit) at that age.

 

Now, 12, I will allow him to run into our grocery to pick up a gallon of milk, or a loaf of bread... or bananas... (essentially a really short list). He has a specific amount of time to get the items, and be back at the car.

 

I could see areas where this might be okay, but for me, 7 is generally still too young

[Perogi]

I wouldn't be sending in a child that young to a grocery store - and we live in a small town of about 4000. I have just started sending my 8 yo into the library alone to pick up the things I have on hold. I have talked to the librarians about it (they were very supportive) and I'm always parked right outside the door.

[LisaKinVA]

Times really have changed, haven't they?

 

Is Your Child Ready for First Grade: 1979 Edition

 

Item #8 on the readiness list: "Can he travel alone in the neighborhood (four to eight blocks) to store, school, playground, or to a friend's home?"

 

When I was 7, I could do this, but I lived in an actual neighborhood. Where we live now, there are no sidewalks, narrow country roads, and woods, not to mention people drive like bats out of he** with little regard for anyone else (routinely 20mph over the posted limits). The school buses drop everyone off at their houses (which I think is over the top...because even when we lived in the country growing up, our bus only picked up along the major roads, they didn't go down every culdesac or side street. There was a bus stop at the corner, and that's where we waited).

[Parrothead]

If you feel totally comfortable sending her in, then by all means do it and don't ask US. We don't know your kid, the store, the environment... at all.

 

Did you only want to ask about the age that people would call the police for an unattended child? I have no idea about that. I've never called the police about an unattended child. The only place I've ever even seen an unattended child is when one was lost at a museum or a zoo (and it was obvious the child was distressed). How could anyone know at which age people would not call the police???

Well, why shouldn't she ask us? To say that is to say that no one ever should as a question about capabilities of children.

 

And yes, the question was not whether anyone thinks it is safe. The question was at what age would someone report a lost or unsupervised kid.

[Maria from IN]

I used to work at a Sam's Club in the early 90's, and just after they instituted the Code Adam policy we had heard of another store that called the code about a 6-year-old girl. She had been in the store with her parents, but someone had taken her when their backs were turned, taken her to the restroom, and had half her head shaved (crewcut) and were changing her into boys clothes in the men's room when they were discovered.

 

Don't know if it's actually true, as it didn't happen in the store where I was working, but it still gives me the creeps. Whenever I see an unattended child, that's where my thoughts go, and I look around for their parents.

[Parrothead]

OP - I think it would depend on several factors.

 

I can't imagine a child known to the employees would warrant a call to the cops.

 

I can imagine a busy-body with time on her hands calling the cops.

 

If the child in question were to go in get what she needed and not act like a child lost or stranded I can't see that it would draw much attention.

 

Seven is right there on the cusp. The tall mature 7-year old (one closer to 8) I'd probably not think twice about someone calling the cops. A small 7-year old or one closer to 6 would give me pause.

[Denisemomof4]

I used to work at a Sam's Club in the early 90's, and just after they instituted the Code Adam policy we had heard of another store that called the code about a 6-year-old girl. She had been in the store with her parents, but someone had taken her when their backs were turned, taken her to the restroom, and had half her head shaved (crewcut) and were changing her into boys clothes in the men's room when they were discovered.

 

Don't know if it's actually true, as it didn't happen in the store where I was working, but it still gives me the creeps. Whenever I see an unattended child, that's where my thoughts go, and I look around for their parents.

 

I remember a similar story. I don't remember if it was a shaved head or dyed hair, but it was an act of disguising a kid they were in the process of kidnapping.

[sahm99]

It has been itching me to answer...and I'll jump....:tongue_smilie:

 

I am reading this post (and the answers) and am wondering whether I am nuts (as most people around me)...or whether we live on different planets, not continents...

 

Beware, this is coming from a (very protective) European!

 

Our kids (son and daughters) have been going to the supermarket (and activities) alone since 6/7, about 1-2 miles away from home.

We live in a town of 150.000.

I don't let them pass through lonely areas and I want them back home before shops close.

Apart of that, I obviously shower(ed) them with common sense advice (and then some:D)...

 

Yes, my kids have come across the drunk making stupid jokes, they have passed by the teens trying to bother them, they have seen the passed out drug addicts.

 

 

And, still, I am convinced that they are safter this way than being expected to fly alone at 18 without ever having being able to train being alone in the real world.

 

Maybe I am comparing apples to pears, in writing about Europe while you talk about the US. But, really, I have such a hard time imagening that there are so many more creeps over there than here!

Horrible things do happen. All the time. But they can happen in my house, in my car, in my family. There are no guarantees and I think we are kidding ourselves if we try to "proof" our kids' lifes...

 

So, yes, I would let my daughter go into that shop alone. And I would congratulate her when she comes back with the order. And then I would be amazed by the fact that in just 180 seconds my little girl seems to have grown two years!

[Jenny in Florida]

I used to work at a Sam's Club in the early 90's, and just after they instituted the Code Adam policy we had heard of another store that called the code about a 6-year-old girl. She had been in the store with her parents, but someone had taken her when their backs were turned, taken her to the restroom, and had half her head shaved (crewcut) and were changing her into boys clothes in the men's room when they were discovered.

 

Don't know if it's actually true, as it didn't happen in the store where I was working, but it still gives me the creeps. Whenever I see an unattended child, that's where my thoughts go, and I look around for their parents.

 

I remember a similar story. I don't remember if it was a shaved head or dyed hair, but it was an act of disguising a kid they were in the process of kidnapping.

 

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.asp

[georgialee]

Regardless of there only being one public use entrance, someone wanting to do harm to your daughter could use a different exit from the store... and I think would be more likely to.

 

I wouldn't send either of my boys into a regular size grocery store on their own until they're around 10 or 12 (depending on maturity, etc).

 

There's just too many crazies out there. I try to live my life making choices I know I won't have a chance to regret.

 

***I will say that we live in a pretty small part of town and we have a local deli/convenience store where I know everyone that works there and most everyone who goes in there (and they'd watch out for my kids). The store is about 800 sq ft. I *would* (haven't yet) send my 6 yo in there while I waited in my car in front of the store (literally parked about 2 ft away from the front door). That's about it, though.

[Caroline]

I think it so depends on the child. However, generally, I don't think, considering EVERYTHING, that 7 is old enough. Double digit ages, almost no doubt. 8 or 9, maybe. But 7? nah.

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I should HOPE that people generally wouldn't LET my 1st grader just walk out the door into a parking lot though. Hmmmmmm

 

If I saw a seven year old leaving a grocery store into a parking lot unaccompanied, I would stop him. In fact, I have done this exact thing in the past. I thought the child had escaped from his parents. He had. His mom was very happy I stopped him. If someone saw my seven year old leaving a store without an adult or teenager, I hope someone would stop her.

[ccmom]

My concerns have always had less to do with the ability of my children and more to do with the creeps that are out there in the world. I had 2 close calls with strangers. While it may be a small percentage the worst DOES happen.

 

I think to answer the OP's question, I think you have to assess the environment that you are putting your child into. Is it safe? That is the real question. Generally, these days, I don't think it's safe.

 

The kids can handle the responsibility, but there are just too many creepy people. I know many people consider me overprotective, but I do what I think is best. My boys are teens now and do just fine. They are responsible, handle their own transactions, and are becoming self sufficient.

 

Susan

Edited January 4, 2012 by ccmom
grammar

[stripe]

I remember a similar story. I don't remember if it was a shaved head or dyed hair, but it was an act of disguising a kid they were in the process of kidnapping.

My kids would not stay or quiet still while having their heads shaved. They have a fit when I try to give them a haircut and have been politely asked to come back when ready by the barber.

 

"Two Romanian women" (from snopes), indeed.

[Parrothead]

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.asp

That is good to know.

[Nakia]

It has been itching me to answer...and I'll jump....:tongue_smilie:

 

I am reading this post (and the answers) and am wondering whether I am nuts (as most people around me)...or whether we live on different planets, not continents...

 

Beware, this is coming from a (very protective) European!

 

Our kids (son and daughters) have been going to the supermarket (and activities) alone since 6/7, about 1-2 miles away from home.

We live in a town of 150.000.

I don't let them pass through lonely areas and I want them back home before shops close.

Apart of that, I obviously shower(ed) them with common sense advice (and then some:D)...

 

Yes, my kids have come across the drunk making stupid jokes, they have passed by the teens trying to bother them, they have seen the passed out drug addicts.

 

 

And, still, I am convinced that they are safter this way than being expected to fly alone at 18 without ever having being able to train being alone in the real world.

 

Maybe I am comparing apples to pears, in writing about Europe while you talk about the US. But, really, I have such a hard time imagening that there are so many more creeps over there than here!

Horrible things do happen. All the time. But they can happen in my house, in my car, in my family. There are no guarantees and I think we are kidding ourselves if we try to "proof" our kids' lifes...

 

So, yes, I would let my daughter go into that shop alone. And I would congratulate her when she comes back with the order. And then I would be amazed by the fact that in just 180 seconds my little girl seems to have grown two years!

 

Am I reading correctly that you let your 6-7 year olds walk through areas, alone, where there are known alcoholics and drug addicts? The apples to oranges part is that the OP is parked right outside, in a safe neighborhood, where she knows the store employees. I wouldn't even do that, but what you are describing sounds to me like sending a lamb into the lion's den. To each his own.

[5kidsforME]

Near here there was a 19 year old girl who was an employee at Walgreens. She was raped in the bathroom.

 

Small store, 19 years old.

 

Would I let a 7 year old in the store by themselves? H$ll no.

[dragons in the flower bed]

What is the worst thing that could happen?

 

In order of likelihood:

 

1: Something horrid involving a public restroom, I think, is very very unlikely but possible.

 

2: Much more likely, someone detains your child inside the store while calling CPS on you.

 

3: Almost certainly, the manager or an employee escorting your daughter back out and telling you angrily that this is absolutely unacceptable.

 

If you shop here all the time, maybe ask to talk to the manager, feel her out about your daughter practicing being a big kid here, and play it off as something she wants to do that you think will be a positive experience for her. Tell the manager you consider this your regular store and you have gotten to know and like the employees.

 

My kids are very, very free range, and my older two are quite competent and independent, but I think a seven-year-old would attract too much trouble from well-meaning adults.

Edited January 4, 2012 by dragons in the flower bed

[Parrothead]

Am I reading correctly that you let your 6-7 year olds walk through areas, alone, where there are known alcoholics and drug addicts? The apples to oranges part is that the OP is parked right outside, in a safe neighborhood, where she knows the store employees. I wouldn't even do that, but what you are describing sounds to me like sending a lamb into the lion's den. To each his own.

One pretty much can't go out in public and not pass a known alcoholic. That doesn't mean one is passing someone knee-walking drunk.

From here:

Just under 13.8 million US adults have issues with alcohol, and 8.1 million of them officially suffer from alcoholism.

[jewellsmommy]

I think it depends on your area and I can see why other posters are concerned. :) My previous area was a large city and no, I wouldn't let her go in alone now (she's a mature 10).

 

We currently live in a small town. Most of the checkers in stores know me and my kids. There is usually only one door for entrance/exit. There are times when I send her into the drugstore and she's the only person in there.

 

I think there are many things to take into consideration and one would definitely be (like a pp mentioned) the 'alone' age in your state.

 

 

 

This is one of those things that is sooo determined by where you live. People on both sides of the issue are going to be stunned by the other side because they are judging it by their own circumstances.

 

I would not let my 9 yo do this. Not because she is incapable, not because I am an overprotective helicopter, but because of where we live and the grocery stores we use are huge and often crowded. There are 2 front entrances and a whole back store area. There are 12 checkout aisle with ever revolving checkout people. They don't know us, and I don't know them.

 

But, I can imagine that if I lived in a smaller town and shopped at a smaller store where I know the people, I might make a different choice.

 

BTW, I can look up the sex offender registry and even though I live in the best part of the city, there are 3 sex offenders who work in the neighboring businesses. This includes the Panera Bread right by the grocery store that I use.

[Nakia]

One pretty much can't go out in public and not pass a known alcoholic. That doesn't mean one is passing someone knee-walking drunk.

From here:

 

Yes, that's true. My own father is an alcoholic. I should have said "drunk" because that's the word the person I quoted used.

[brett_ashley]

If you shop here all the time, maybe ask to talk to the manager, feel her out about your daughter practicing being a big kid here, and play it off as something she wants to do that you think will be a positive experience for her. Tell the manager you consider this your regular store and you have gotten to know and like the employees.

 

Great idea.

[dragons in the flower bed]

My only concern is a well-meaning person calling the police. Obviously I don't think I would have them removed from my custody or anything but would prefer not to deal with the headache. So my question remains: At what age would this not happen?

 

Eleven would be my guess, here in my northeastern city. "That age where they hate being seen with Mom" is when people start expecting to see kids out by themselves or with peers.

[NorthwestMom]

Sigh.

 

My 7 yos carry out transactions on their own in stores. They are alone in stores sometimes - though I'm usually nearby. By this summer, before they turn 8, they'll be allowed to cross the street to the next block up and go to the coffeeshop, the little corner store (and, I suppose, the gourmet pizza place, the pet supply store and the fancy beer restaurant, though I don't think they'll want to).

 

What's the worst that can happen to them sitting in a car? You could all die. In fact, you're way more likely to there than in the store. What's the worst that could happen to them sitting the house? You could all die. In fact, again, more likely to die there than in the store. I don't live my life thinking that way. I don't want to. I see more benefits to giving my kids whatever responsibility they seem ready for. But, to each their own.

 

I totally agree with this poster.

[In2why]

Times really have changed, haven't they?

 

Is Your Child Ready for First Grade: 1979 Edition

 

Item #8 on the readiness list: "Can he travel alone in the neighborhood (four to eight blocks) to store, school, playground, or to a friend's home?"

 

I blame the 24 hour news cycle. It was totally normal for us to bike and walk to school, and all over town. Now parents drive their Kids to the bus stop half a block away. The world isn't more dangerous, it just feels that way. I also noticed a difference when itcomes to kids home alone, I have had neighbors who talk of not leaving their kids home alone in middle school, I was watching others kids at that age. I wonder where the balance is between protection and responsibility.

[NorthwestMom]

I used to work at a Sam's Club in the early 90's, and just after they instituted the Code Adam policy we had heard of another store that called the code about a 6-year-old girl. She had been in the store with her parents, but someone had taken her when their backs were turned, taken her to the restroom, and had half her head shaved (crewcut) and were changing her into boys clothes in the men's room when they were discovered.

 

Don't know if it's actually true, as it didn't happen in the store where I was working, but it still gives me the creeps. Whenever I see an unattended child, that's where my thoughts go, and I look around for their parents.

 

Snopes says this is false. It never happened.

 

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/kidnap.asp

[Farrar]

Am I reading correctly that you let your 6-7 year olds walk through areas, alone, where there are known alcoholics and drug addicts? The apples to oranges part is that the OP is parked right outside, in a safe neighborhood, where she knows the store employees. I wouldn't even do that, but what you are describing sounds to me like sending a lamb into the lion's den. To each his own.

 

I'm not the one who wrote that, but my kids do this. There's a corner park on our corner where known addicts and homeless people hang out sometimes. My kids pass them alone and even play in the park without my supervision. But other kids do as well and there are other kids from our block around there in the summer. And they're not interested in my kids or any of the kids actually. In our very mixed urban neighborhood, my kids wouldn't ever be able to leave the house alone if I used walking past drug addicts or homeless people as a litmus test.

 

But I think the real question is not so much whether one would let their kids out in this situation, but rather whether one would choose such a neighborhood in the first place if that was the biggest fear. Anyone who really recoils on hearing that probably doesn't live in an inner city and wouldn't want to. But just like with allowing my kids to have more freedoms, I see benefits to living where we live that more than compensate for any risks. My neighborhood has wonderful people, lots of diversity, is walking distance to so many things including the subway and Target and our church and lots of shops, yet we still have a small yard and a reasonable sized house.

[mommaduck]

I blame the 24 hour news cycle. It was totally normal for us to bike and walk to school, and all over town. Now parents drive their Kids to the bus stop half a block away. The world isn't more dangerous, it just feels that way. I also noticed a difference when itcomes to kids home alone, I have had neighbors who talk of not leaving their kids home alone in middle school, I was watching others kids at that age. I wonder where the balance is between protection and responsibility.

:iagree:

[cindergretta]

I don't think people being concerned about a 7 year old without a parent constitutes a "busybody with time on her hands" or any of the other rather insulting things said.

 

When something "bad" happens, immediately people start pointing fingers and blaming and saying, "Why didn't anyone do anything? How could no one see XYZ?"

 

And frankly, it isn't a bad thing for people to be concerned about a child all alone in a situation where one doesn't typically see a lone child.

 

My ds8 has Aspergers. Children with Aspergers don't look differently and often don't act differently from their peers in a noticeable, easily identifiable way. (Usually they look like out of control brats, which they are NOT! Out of control, yes. Brats, NO.) Anyway, when ds was 7, I was ringing out at the Fred Meyer and he was upset that I wouldn't buy a Spiderman bean bag. I was paying and he disappeared. I wasn't paying attention for around 90 seconds, literally 90 seconds. I couldn't find him. The employees immediately shut down the store and blocked the exits. Everyone began searching. Employees went out to the parking lot to search and lo and behold, a couple just arriving reported seeing a "lone little boy in the parking lot getting into an empty vehicle!" One adult stayed with him while the other reported it. All I can say is THANK GOD someone wasn't too busy to ignore what appeared to be an odd situation. (And neither adult approached my son at all. I am SO grateful as he would have run and to who knows where!!)

 

I also grew up in Germany and we walked everywhere all the time and loved going to the little markets for the "buckets" of bulk candy. It was a different time, different environment. (We also lived in a small village.) My sister has been living there these last almost 13 years, first in Muenchen and now in Heidleberg. And there is no way she would let her child that age walk around alone. But by 11, she lets them walk to the train to go to school outside of their neighborhood.

 

I guess I just wish there were a way for people to state their opinion in a way such that they aren't insulting others' way of doing things.

[kwg]

Recently I had a situation where I wanted my son who is 9 to run into the store to get some water bottles for him and some of his friends I was watching. I realized I had nver had him do this before so I asked did he think he could do it. His friend thought I was joking and broke inot gales of laughter ( thinking it hilarious that he would be allowed to go into a store by himself) My son thought it over and decided yes he could.....his friend was honestly shocked :lol: and my son said " (Friend) would you like to go with me, so you can experience it too?" :lol::lol::lol: Friend got alllll excited. It was so funny. I mean at that age I was walking to the store, all over the neighborhood, and these kids are thrilled they can walk in a store alone (and i can see them from the front door!). Hell, I was keeping my drunk father awake at the wheel so he wouldnt pass out :glare: Not saying I waant that at all but geeze it made me think. When they got back they were obviously pleased as punch and one of the kids said " you did it!? You mean they Actually let you pay?":lol:

 

 

I think it is a shame that everyone is worried about what might happen. These same things could have happened when i was a kid. My mom left me in the car all the time to run into the store to get things. Someone could have snatched me I guess. I had a ton of freedom- some things were definitely over the top...but I dont think there should be a problem sending a kid into a store to pick up an item.

 

Unfortunately other people don't feel that way and I would worry someone would interfere with your dd checking out or trying to leave. SO while I doubt anything would happen I probably wouldn't unless I had some assurance it was okay in your area (are other kids doing that?)

[Annie G]

In our town, 7 year olds are walking a mile to and from school, and spending time at the library after school- with no parent around. Our kids were allowed to roam the neighborhood at that age, along with their friends. Never occurred to me to fear for their safety. I am surprised this thread is so controversial- it's been an interesting read!

[happypamama]

I think it really depends on the location. I've sent DD into the very small library to pick up books when her brothers were sleeping in the car; I've been doing that since she was 6 or 7, I think. The library is pretty much one room, and they know us very well there. If we lived closer, I'd be okay with sending her to that library by herself. I don't think I'd do that at the bigger libraries around here, though, but maybe by her age (almost 10), I could.

 

I have no doubt that she could ride her bike the mile down our (not busy) road to the convenience store/gas station at the end of it, buy something, and come home. That would be no problem for her. However, it's at the bottom of a big hill, emptying onto a busy road, so that makes it a no for us to allow yet, plus it's also a truck stop, and I'm not willing to take a chance there. Could I send her into one of our local grocery stores with a few dollars and instructions? Yep. I haven't done it (mainly because I usually need several things and use a debit card instead of cash), but I absolutely could. Enough people know her at the two local stores that it would almost undoubtedly be fine. In fact, yesterday, as we were driving, the big kids thought they needed the bathroom, so since I was buying gas at the Giant pumps anyway, I told them I could drop them at the Giant door first, get the gas, and come back and be waiting for them in front of the Giant. Especially with them together, and especially knowing that the bathrooms there are single occupancy, and since many people there would recognize them, this would not have been an unreasonable thing to do. They decided they didn't actually need to go then, but it would have been fine. Would I do that at the WalMart or the bigger Giants around here, or send them in to buy things at those stores? No. I'm not comfortable with that yet.

[Joker]

I guess it just really depends on what is the norm where you live. Here the kids walk to and from school. They also walk to and from the local Publix and the McDonald's next to it. My girls can walk out our front door, hit the sidewalk and take it all the way to the store (it's a mile and a half down the road). They can then go inside and field hello's from most of the staff and no one would bat an eye. They also wouldn't be the only lone kids inside or on the walk.

 

I'll admit at first I felt like many here but they've gained so much since I stopped being so fearful. I wouldn't let my seven yr old walk to the store alone but I wouldn't have a problem waiting at the front door and letting her go into a familiar store to get a specific item.

[jennsmile]

You could also call CPS and ask them how they would handle the situation.

 

For me I would be more comfortable during the morning hours than after school was out and the dinner rush crowd was in there. Time of day makes for a very different store too and I don't think anybody pointed that out yet.

[ccmom]

My husband was told by a Sheriff that the public restroom is a dangerous place. The Sheriff said to not ever let your child go into a public restroom alone, because he has seen too many cases of children being hurt.

[dragons in the flower bed]

My husband was told by a Sheriff that the public restroom is a dangerous place. The Sheriff said to not ever let your child go into a public restroom alone, because he has seen too many cases of children being hurt.

 

:iagree:

 

My mom has the same list of horror stories, I think. She's a 911 operator.

 

I know a man who was kidnapped (well, offered a place to stay in exchange for "services" when he was a 12yo runaway) by a career pedophile. That guy's and his pedophile friends' two main places of business were Boy Scouts and public restrooms.

 

My kids are allowed a ton of freedom but strongly discouraged from using public restrooms. We make a practice of knowing where the single stall restrooms are, and being sure to use the toilet before leaving the house.

 

I don't think kids are in a lot of danger all the time, but I am aware that there are spots that are more dangerous than others.

[PIE!]

When I was seven I used to walk half a mile to 7-11 to get a slurpee - but we always had to use the buddy system.

 

Last month I let DD (7) go into pizza hut all by herself to get her book-it pizza. BUT I parked right in front and I could see her the whole time. If there was a small grocery store where I could see most of it from the car I would let her go. But I wouldn't send her into a big store by herself yet, especially if I couldn't get a parking spot right next to the door. If she had a friend or an older sibling with her I wouldn't be as cautious.

[cindergretta]

When I was seven I used to walk half a mile to 7-11 to get a slurpee - but we always had to use the buddy system.

 

Last month I let DD (7) go into pizza hut all by herself to get her book-it pizza. BUT I parked right in front and I could see her the whole time. If there was a small grocery store where I could see most of it from the car I would let her go. But I wouldn't send her into a big store by herself yet, especially if I couldn't get a parking spot right next to the door. If she had a friend or an older sibling with her I wouldn't be as cautious.

 

My dc walk to Walgreens and 7/11, but it is always and *only* with a buddy. Strength in numbers and all that! :D

[Lady Florida.]

so if I get this right, the 7yo would be walking into a store she knows well. You would be in a car, just outside the main entrance, waiting for her?

I would have had no problem with it.

 

:iagree:However, I think our answers will depend on where we live. In my hometown the answer would be NO WAY! Where I live now, and have lived since I was 14, I would do it.

[swellmomma]

About times changing, my mother used to send me down the street by myself when I was about 9 with a note asking the pharmacy to sell me a pack of cigarettes for her (and they did).

 

 

I used to do this for my mom too. ONly it was to the red rooster store, I would ride my bike, it took about 5-10 mintues to ride there across a very busy street. She would send a note for the cigs, and enough money to buy her cigs and me a treat. Then I would ride home. You know back in the days before over 18 legislation, bike helmets, and kids never leaving their yard without a parent. So weird to think of that now. I could not imagine sending my kids to buy cigs, then again I do not smoke, but still I could not imagine sending them with a note and cash to buy my cigarettes if I did.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

And, still, I am convinced that they are safter this way than being expected to fly alone at 18 without ever having being able to train being alone in the real world.

 

In theory I agree with this, I just don't think it needs to start at 7. As my daughter gets older, I will allow her more and more freedom, and believe I will be a fairly permissive parent when she is older.

But right now, when she's so little, and so vulnerable, I think my job is to protect her.

 

At this point, I don't want her being grown up and protecting herself from the world. I want her being a little girl, innocent, and yes, a little naive in the ways of the world.

[In2why]

If I saw a seven year old leaving a grocery store into a parking lot unaccompanied, I would stop him. In fact, I have done this exact thing in the past. I thought the child had escaped from his parents. He had. His mom was very happy I stopped him. If someone saw my seven year old leaving a store without an adult or teenager, I hope someone would stop her.

 

But wouldn't the child just tell you they didn't need your help, they were buying tortillas? There Isa difference betweena lost child and one confidently doing something, if you tried to stop the that child you might be the problem we warn kids about. Do 7 y/os still run away from their parents in the store?

[Caroline]

But wouldn't the child just tell you they didn't need your help, they were buying tortillas? There Isa difference betweena lost child and one confidently doing something, if you tried to stop the that child you might be the problem we warn kids about. Do 7 y/os still run away from their parents in the store?

 

Really? I am the problem if I keep a first grader from running into a busy parking lot?

[Daisy]

Not at 7yo. My kids weren't ready. I can't say if yours is or not. I don't think MANY 7yo are ready for that but I'm not willing to say that none of them are.

 

In my house, we waited until age 9 for stuff like that. I have no problem sending my son in to buy me a latte at Starbucks. I'd let him run back into Trader Joes and buy something I forgot while I loaded the car.

[In2why]

My husband was told by a Sheriff that the public restroom is a dangerous place. The Sheriff said to not ever let your child go into a public restroom alone, because he has seen too many cases of children being hurt.

 

I completely agree. I am pretty free range, but if there isn't a family bathroom then the boys have to go together, with me right outside the door talking to them while they are in there.

I also freaked a bit when my littlest started homeschool swim lessons at our wellness center. They have a policy that if a child is 5 or older they cant go in the opposite sex locker room, and you must go through it to get to the pool.

It is huge, and sort of a maze through the shower area. My then 6 year old would get lost, so I began requiring a attendant to walk him through until he learned the way and I knew he could walk straight through and we would race to see whether I could get through the girls side faster than he could the boys. Although considering the women walk around naked, I know that would make him uncomfortable, so I guess it is a good policy.

[2squared]

My husband was told by a Sheriff that the public restroom is a dangerous place. The Sheriff said to not ever let your child go into a public restroom alone, because he has seen too many cases of children being hurt.

 

My husband is a prosecutor who has seen too much nasty stuff, and he would disagree with your sheriff. When my boys were 3 & 5, I asked him if he would be comfortable with them using the men's restroom at Walmart during the day. He was a definite yes. His view is that the danger in public restrooms in this type of situation is negligible. Most pedophiles, rapists, and abusers are friends, neighbors, coaches, family, etc. Very few find and groom their prey at the local Walmart restroom.

 

We all have to determine our individual comfort level given our particular family and circumstances. Blanket statements of safety or danger aren't helpful in individual situations.

 

FWIW, I can easily see circumstances where I would let my 7yo buy something in an HEB without me, and I can easily see circumstances where I wouldn't. It all depends on the child, the store, and the time of day.

[In2why]

Really? I am the problem if I keep a first grader from running into a busy parking lot?

 

You didn't quote everything I wrote, but you could be the problem if the 7 year old had permission to be there and you insisted on helping when help wasn't needed or wanted. If you held on to my child after he told you he was buying tortillas, and started to go on his way, how would he know that you were not the stranger danger. Many of us have said we would alllow it, it isn't against the law, and a child looks different when they are searching for a lost parent. If you insisted on "helping" based on what you would do as a parent, then that is pretty arrogant on your part. Sort of like calling the police because the neighborhood kids aren't in school during the day. :001_huh:

[KidsHappen]

I am a free range parent who has been parenting for the better part of three decades. I would not do it. FOr my youngests two the rules were two children together with the youngest being ten. I am just now in the last year letting my 12 year old go to stores by herself and it has not been completely hassle free. Over the holiday season, security in the malls were questioning teens that were not obviously shopping as our mall has a no loitering rule. Just dealing with security could be overwhelming for a 7 year old.

[zaichiki]

In theory I agree with this, I just don't think it needs to start at 7. As my daughter gets older, I will allow her more and more freedom, and believe I will be a fairly permissive parent when she is older.

But right now, when she's so little, and so vulnerable, I think my job is to protect her.

 

At this point, I don't want her being grown up and protecting herself from the world. I want her being a little girl, innocent, and yes, a little naive in the ways of the world.

 

Nicely worded.

Thank you.