Night Elf Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I'm floored. This 2nd grade teacher told her class there was no Santa. She was teaching a geography lesson about the North Pole. Now I realize that kids might know the truth by age 8, but really? I would never presume to tell another person's child that. Teacher Tells Kids There is No Santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Oh dear. She should have just let the Santa comments go. That was stupid of her. But I do disagree that she "ruined Christmas." And, I think it IS a teacher's job to demystify things, just not that particular myth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcnlvr Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Well, there ISN'T one. Kids are still "innocent" without the santa phenomenon in their lives, imo. My kids came to me at a very young age and asked if santa was real. I said, "What do you think?" They said they thought not. We have fun "playing" santa, but they know that it is in the spirit of the season and that a rotund man doesn't really fly around delivering presents. In the article, what shocks me is the perpetuation of a lie after the teacher told the class about santa. Oh, the TEACHER is LYING!! There REALLY IS a santa. To me, that is the worst part of that whole situation. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 My kids came to me at a very young age and asked if santa was real. I said, "What do you think?" They said they thought not. We have fun "playing" santa, but they know that it is in the spirit of the season and that a rotund man doesn't really fly around delivering presents. But that is your perogative. Would you have been okay with someone else telling your children that? It just seems unnecessary. My kids didn't believe in Santa at that age either, but I never tried to make it a mystery. And I did that because of the way I found out. My older sister delighted in telling me I was a baby for believing it and I sat there and cried and she sat there and laughed. She told me that mom & dad lied to me and I fell for it. That was traumatic. So I knew I wasn't going to do the same thing to my children. However, I have never felt the need to tell other children. I can't imagine taking it upon myself to enlighten other children with the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. Edited December 4, 2011 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Simply unnecessary. The teacher did this to make a point. What he or she doesn't know is the point made is that the teacher is a jerk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. Some people feel that way about religion, and some about pregnancy and child birth. I was very upset when a teacher told my dd that the stars in the sky were God's eyes keeping a close watch on her. She was scared to go out at night. And I was stunned with a classmate told my 6 yr old dd that her mommy said all babies are bought at Babies R Us. Her mom didn't want her to know about the pregnancy and delivery. Unfortunately, I was pregnant at the time too and my dd wanted to know why I just didn't go buy her a little sister instead of a little brother like I "planned". I had to nip that in the bud really quickly. I thought that was horrible! But I did tell my dd that she had no right to tell that little girl what I told her because some mommies & daddies get to decide on that for themselves. So yeah, I guess I can understand this situation, because I'm not about to lie to my own kids for the sake of others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Cue the inevitable pre-Christmas Santa flamewar in five... four... three... two... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, Just want to say that all kids don't feel disappointed when they find out the truth. My oldest actually grinned hugely and said, "You mean YOU got us all of those present?" He was actually quite delighted to find out that his parents really did get him cool presents. I'm not sure how my youngest will react, as I think he is getting close to accepting the truth. He is 8, so not much older than the kids in the story, but I surely wouldn't want someone else to tell him. My standard reply when a kid asks about Santa is, "What do you think?" And then we proceed with the discussion from there, which so far hasn't resulted in the great revelation. Most kids want to believe, even when they don't really believe anymore, if that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Simply unnecessary. The teacher did this to make a point. What he or she doesn't know is the point made is that the teacher is a jerk. :iagree: Not the teacher's place to do that. I kind of liked believing in magic. I wish I could have stayed that way a little longer. I wasn't upset when I found out the truth, but it sure wasn't as fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I think Santa should just be placed with religion on the "do not talk about in school" list. I have a son with autism, and he's the only one of my children to go to public school, because he can receive services there that I just can't provide. We've never done Santa with our children, and I have been increasingly glad about that as this son has gotten older, because fantasy and reality are so easily confused to him. That being said, I've always told my children not to ruin it for anyone else, not to talk about it all, so they don't spoil anybody's Christmas fun. On the other hand, I can count on my son's public school to shove Santa down his throat for three weeks straight, which is starting to confuse him, because everyone there says Santa is real. Why is some other child's right to believe in Santa more important than our desire not to confuse him further? It makes me crazy every year, and it's getting worse every year. So I wish they just wouldn't bring it up at all...then everybody could be happier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Just want to say that all kids don't feel disappointed when they find out the truth. My sons weren't disappointed either. They had already suspected because, in their words, "You and Santa use the same gift wrap." They were quite pleased with their own cleverness. ;) BTW we never told our kids there was a Santa nor told them there wasn't. They learned about Santa from other kids. And we didn't mark gifts "From Santa"--we just put their names on the tags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 My children are watching a movie on Netflix right now called Christmas Story, because it's the closest to the real story of Saint Nick. I'm trying to cement into their heads right now that Santa IS real. I will explain to them when they are ready HOW Santa is real. That Saint Nick DID exist, and that people carry on that job. Therefore we are ALL Santa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Simply unnecessary. The teacher did this to make a point. What he or she doesn't know is the point made is that the teacher is a jerk. :iagree: It is not a teacher's place to pass this information on to a whole classroom of other people's kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Simply unnecessary. The teacher did this to make a point. What he or she doesn't know is the point made is that the teacher is a jerk. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. :iagree: I would not specifically modify my instruction as a teacher to maintain the Santa illusion. I would be likely to ignore it myself, but if the subject was brought up, I would not play the Santa game. Besides, an 8 yo is old enough to be told. When I was a kid, whoever did not stop buying Santa by school, stopped buying Santa in first grade because the other kids ruined it for them, LOL, and they learned about Saint Nicholas customs and whatnot, so pieces of the puzzle started falling into their places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Poor teacher, she heard that rumor and believed it. :( I guess it's just my experience but my family growing up and my family now enjoy Santa and have grown with him. He's fun! It was never a problem going from childhood belief to a mature understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Well, there ISN'T one. Kids are still "innocent" without the santa phenomenon in their lives, imo. My kids came to me at a very young age and asked if santa was real. I said, "What do you think?" They said they thought not. We have fun "playing" santa, but they know that it is in the spirit of the season and that a rotund man doesn't really fly around delivering presents. In the article, what shocks me is the perpetuation of a lie after the teacher told the class about santa. Oh, the TEACHER is LYING!! There REALLY IS a santa. To me, that is the worst part of that whole situation. :glare: Dh and I decided before we had kids that we would explain Santa to the kids, we 'play' Santa every year, but they know that he is not real. But they also know that other kids believe that he is real and they are not to talk about Santa with other kids. I would be uspet if my kids did believe in Santa and someone told them like this. But that is a risk you take with all the fantasy stories (Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy...). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 It's not the teachers place to debunk Santa anymore than it is her/his place to push religion or politics. The agenda of the public school system is one of the reasons my kids stay home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I'm shocked that the teacher felt that it was her right to say something. She must have known that it was going to cause an uproar with some of the parents, so why would she have gone there? It definitely seems like she just wanted to make a point. :mad: If I was a teacher, I would make sure to not mention Santa at all. I don't know why it is necessary to promote it or discourage it. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 Cue the inevitable pre-Christmas Santa flamewar in five... four... three... two... Oh c'mon, what's a season without a good old fashioned flamewar? We've already had the 'why do non-christians celebrate christmas' thread. Isn't the Santa thing next on the list? Of course, I'd bet money that there will be more of both before the 25th anyway. Afterall, this is a forum where topics such as crock pots and shopping buggies can be considered hot topics. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Second graders are not necessarily 8. My oldest is in second and just turned 7 last month. I would be very upset if her teacher did this, it's not her place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. Uh - when my kids, at about the age of 9 or 10, decided they no longer believed in Santa, they were not disappointed. They have fond memories, look back on it with a smile. They are still both glad to do that with them. Their cousins never believed, and my kids just don't get it. Dealing with consequences??? What consequences? It was fun. We still play at it - Santa still comes and brings stockings - and it is still fun. I think it is wrong of anyone -relative, teacher, stranger- to take the fun of the Santa myth from parents. It only lasts a few years and I've never met one of those bitter,disappointed, "my parents lied to me" people everyone is so convinced is the outcome. I also want to add that there are MANY teachers who think most religious are as mythically based at Santa is. I'll bet many would be very angry if the teacher felt she shouldn't "lie" about the Jesus myth - or the God myth - to her students as she tried to set them straight in a middle eastern geography class..... This is not my opinion, I'm just using it as an example as to why it shouldn't be something a teacher takes upon him or herself at all. Edited December 4, 2011 by SailorMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I have this ready for when my daughter comes to me wanting the real truth. She's definitely on the fence at the moment. I do hate it when others ruin the fun for others. http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Here is what I said in the other thread on the teacher and Santa: Technically she was teaching geography (including who lives in a locale) correctly. Santa Claus does not live there. But there were ways that she could have handled the subject matter without bursting their bubble or commenting on who brings presents etc. She would have had to lie to do it though - "Yes, Santa lives there. But if you go there on a scientific mission you won't see him or his workshop because they are magically invisible. Instead this is what you would see. . . " So that brings up the question - should teachers lie when giving factual information? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I'm shocked that the teacher felt that it was her right to say something. She must have known that it was going to cause an uproar with some of the parents, so why would she have gone there? It definitely seems like she just wanted to make a point. :mad: If I was a teacher, I would make sure to not mention Santa at all. I don't know why it is necessary to promote it or discourage it. :confused: :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) So that brings up the question - should teachers lie when giving factual information? Of course not. Of all the dumb and harmful things teachers have been accused of doing throughout the history of time, truly this is the least of them. I don't even classify it as dumb/harmful, and I can't build any steam to get worked up about it. Most importantly, not all cultures of people who pay equal taxes for schools perpetuate this myth of Santa in the first place. Finally, the parents can just say the teacher was wrong and bring up a myriad of thousands of other examples of when teachers have been wrong. Easy. Kids have many Christmas expectations ... of stockings sagging from overstuffing ... gifts piled high. The reality is that 18% of the school-age children in my county live in poverty. Increase of +2% since last year. What should such kids conclude --- that Santa, the mysterious red benefactor, doesn't favor them as much? P.S. I had to borrow this from another thead and say that I do agree with this: She did not have to lie. She could have easily said, "Yes, some people believe Santa lives there." That is not a lie, nor does it confirm that Santa lives there. It is simply restating some people's beliefs. Edited December 4, 2011 by mirth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The consequences I'm referring to are the basis of this thread. If kids are usually not upset or disappointed in any way, shape, or form when they find out, figure out, or are told that Santa is not real, then why is what this teacher did newsworthy? Uh - when my kids, at about the age of 9 or 10, decided they no longer believed in Santa, they were not disappointed. They have fond memories, look back on it with a smile. They are still both glad to do that with them. Their cousins never believed, and my kids just don't get it.Dealing with consequences??? What consequences? It was fun. We still play at it - Santa still comes and brings stockings - and it is still fun. I think it is wrong of anyone -relative, teacher, stranger- to take the fun of the Santa myth from parents. It only lasts a few years and I've never met one of those bitter,disappointed, "my parents lied to me" people everyone is so convinced is the outcome. I also want to add that there are MANY teachers who think most religious are as mythically based at Santa is. I'll bet many would be very angry if the teacher felt she shouldn't "lie" about the Jesus myth - or the God myth - to her students as she tried to set them straight in a middle eastern geography class..... This is not my opinion, I'm just using it as an example as to why it shouldn't be something a teacher takes upon him or herself at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The consequences I'm referring to are the basis of this thread. If kids are usually not upset or disappointed in any way, shape, or form when they find out, figure out, or are told that Santa is not real, then why is what this teacher did newsworthy? Because, in my experience, they are not upset when they figure it out on their own. They feel clever, proud, etc. When their belief is suddenly shattered by someone they should be able to trust, that's when they become upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Because, in my experience, they are not upset when they figure it out on their own. They feel clever, proud, etc. When their belief is suddenly shattered by someone they should be able to trust, that's when they become upset. I was upset and hurt because my parents went out of their way to lie. I thought it was sacred that they would always tell me the truth and I learned that that wasn't the case. I took it very hard. And with my personality and temperament it meant that after finding this out I was careful about believing what they said after that. I wish it wasn't the case. I'd rather have been a child that could relax and believe my parents implicitly as a small child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 In my life, a simple reading of "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Clause" handled it for me and I'm 40 years old and still believe. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Because, in my experience, they are not upset when they figure it out on their own. They feel clever, proud, etc. When their belief is suddenly shattered by someone they should be able to trust, that's when they become upset. That wasn't my experience or my DH's. I was upset (not traumatized) that people I should be able to trust had misled me and tricked me. ETA: I figured it out and found out the supposed "right" way. Edited December 4, 2011 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 This should be handled by parents. The whole "my parents lied to me" happens when the child found out the wrong way. The right way is for the child to figure it out and the parents to explain why they pretend Santa exists. If the child gets to, say, 8 or 9 (or has a lot of "knowing" bigmouth friends) and still believes, the parents should probably start hinting and backing down from the elaborate fibs. It should never come from a teacher that basically, "your parents are either crazy, stupid, or dishonest." Anyone who is too stupid to realize that second-graders often still believe (or want to believe) has no business teaching primary school in the USA. That said, I'm kinda looking forward to my kids figuring it out. I might start eroding the myth next year. Or not. We'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 In the article, what shocks me is the perpetuation of a lie after the teacher told the class about santa. Oh, the TEACHER is LYING!! There REALLY IS a santa. To me, that is the worst part of that whole situation. :glare: Yeah, that is really troubling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I was upset and hurt because my parents went out of their way to lie. I thought it was sacred that they would always tell me the truth and I learned that that wasn't the case. I took it very hard. And with my personality and temperament it meant that after finding this out I was careful about believing what they said after that. I wish it wasn't the case. I'd rather have been a child that could relax and believe my parents implicitly as a small child. My experience, exactly. That lie eroded trust for a long while. So, I've made many mistakes with my kids but I don't lie to them, not even about the small stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Funny... they can say there is no God.... So why not? Hmmmm.... I have to remind my son every year that he can't say there's no Santa.... Because he just knows that Santa is fun and "brings presents" that he told Mom and Dad about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Parents can do Santa if they like, but they shouldn't get in a tizzy when the inevitable happens and the kids find out the truth. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are setting the kid up for later disappointment, and they will have to deal with the consequences of making that choice at some point. No, I don't think people should presume to tell others' children, but I don't think anyone should be obligated to lie to anyone to maintain the illusion, either. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I cannot get too excited about a second grade teacher, or anyone for that matter, failing to perpetuate a popular children's fantasy. Those who want to work around the truth revealed by another can always engage in obtuse metaphysical mumbo-jumbo to reassure those who want to continue to believe in the fantasy. I have not read the other replies yet but it would not surprise me if someone thought the teacher should be disciplined or fired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I cannot get too excited about a second grade teacher, or anyone for that matter, failing to perpetuate a popular children's fantasy. Those who want to work around the truth revealed by another can always engage in obtuse metaphysical mumbo-jumbo to reassure those who want to continue to believe in the fantasy. I have not read the other replies yet but it would not surprise me if someone thought the teacher should be disciplined or fired. The entire point to me here is that she didn't have to perpetuate the fantasy. She could have, should have, side-stepped the discussion entirely. It's clear you don't "do" Santa. Fine. But the disdain is condescending and offensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Because, in my experience, they are not upset when they figure it out on their own. They feel clever, proud, etc. When their belief is suddenly shattered by someone they should be able to trust, that's when they become upset. :iagree: For those of you who felt betrayed or upset that you were lied to..... I guess I can't relate. At all. I won't insult anyone's reactions or feelings, but IMHO there were possibly more (deeper) issues there with parents than just the Santa thing. No - I am not talking about anyone specific here - I didn't even pay attention to who posted what. Obviously there are cases in which the Santa myth could be harmful. I am sure there are kids with Autism (perhaps? maybe - I don't have an Autistic child, but I could see this being an issue) or something else that could certainly cause a parent to decide not to "play at Santa". There are probably also kids with pre-existing trust issues, perhaps a parent who left, or who had been promised other thngs (we won't die, your dog won't die, grandma will be ok, etc.) that did not work out, who would be sensitive to this. I love the story of Santa. My kids loved it. And as they grew out of it, I made sure they understood the "spirit" of Santa needs to live in everyone. Giving completely unselfishly, "better to give than recieve", etc. Santa is not a modern myth of materializm. Go further back to the original stories. There are some great lessons to be learned. Lastly - I don't see Santa as being any more harmful than kids who watch Disney movies (or whatever) and then pretend they are princesses, or that they are superheros. A lot of boys are convinced superheros are real until they are 10 as well..... Even when parents tell them they aren't :) I think Santa becomes a Whipping Boy this time of the year, and many of those who are doing the whipping allow other sorts of similar things to pass with no problem (people I know - I have no idea about people here) the rest of the year. Edited December 4, 2011 by SailorMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 In the article, it says that during a geography lesson, the children asked the teacher to show them where the North Pole is, since that is where Santa Claus lives. Couldn't the teacher have just shown the class where the North Pole is and left it at that? Just move on with her regular lesson after? What she did lacked judgement and maturity, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 On the other hand, I can count on my son's public school to shove Santa down his throat for three weeks straight, which is starting to confuse him, because everyone there says Santa is real. Why is some other child's right to believe in Santa more important than our desire not to confuse him further? It makes me crazy every year, and it's getting worse every year. This. I get tired of that in general. I'm supposed to coach my kids on making sure that they don't say the wrong thing to accidentally ruin some other parent's fantasy game, but other adults are allowed to endlessly try to convince my children that Santa Claus exists. Very annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southernm Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The entire point to me here is that she didn't have to perpetuate the fantasy. She could have, should have, side-stepped the discussion entirely. It's clear you don't "do" Santa. Fine. But the disdain is condescending and offensive. :iagree: a teacher should always remain neutral in these types of situations. She should have known better. As I said in the other poll, it sounds like a very immature thing to do. To me, this is no different than discussing religion or political preference with the class. Wether you believe or not is irrelevant. It's the fact that the teacher overstepped her bounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 This. I get tired of that in general. I'm supposed to coach my kids on making sure that they don't say the wrong thing to accidentally ruin some other parent's fantasy game, but other adults are allowed to endlessly try to convince my children that Santa Claus exists. Very annoying. I had a very good friend when I was young (k-3rd grade) who was a Jehova's Witness. She never believed, and my parents simply told me that not all families believe in Santa, and that they didn't have to. End of story. I wasn't confused at all. I don't see why the other way around would be confusing either..... I do think, however, that it is a fair point that schools shouldn't be perpetuating any holiday sort of thing. I get why they do, but I think having the holidays as part of the school day isn't really appropriate - Santa, Christmas, God, Kwanza, Eid - none of it is appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 SailorMom: For those of you who felt betrayed or upset that you were lied to..... I guess I can't relate. At all. Are you ever upset when you are lied to? Even today, I have a problem with people who lie to me. Call me silly. And, as a landlord, I think I get more than the average person; I've heard some doozies. I won't insult anyone's reactions or feelings, but IMHO there were possibly more (deeper) issues there with parents than just the Santa thing. Well, I am perfectly neurotypical and on the intelligent side, and didn't have "issues" with my parents. Certainly not at the age of 5 or 6! Obviously there are cases in which the Santa myth could be harmful. I am sure there are kids with Autism (perhaps? maybe - I don't have an Autistic child, but I could see this being an issue) or something else that could certainly cause a parent to decide not to "play at Santa". There are probably also kids with pre-existing trust issues, perhaps a parent who left, or who had been promised other thngs (we won't die, your dog won't die, grandma will be ok, etc.) that did not work out, who would be sensitive to this. Agreed. I love the story of Santa. My kids loved it. And as they grew out of it, I made sure they understood the "spirit" of Santa needs to live in everyone. Giving completely unselfishly, "better to give than recieve", etc. I love the story of Santa as well, and my kids knew it early. How could they not? Every other child was going on and on about what "Santa" was going to bring them. But it is simply a story and not the truth. I don't even want to confuse the two. So it was a fun story for our kids. Lastly - I don't see Santa as being any more harmful than kids who watch Disney movies (or whatever) and then pretend they are princesses, or that they are superheros But there is a vast difference. The princess or superhero fantasy is the child's imagination working; it is child-directed. But parents directly tell their kids that Santa will bring them gifts and that he is real, and watching, and they had better be nice, not naughty. Kids believe their parents. I simply think it is wise to be honest and not be honest and truthful on some things but not others. You never know if your kid is one like me, for whom truthfulness and honesty is a paramount virtue, and if you lose my trust over a lie, it is hard to win it back. Maybe other kids aren't like that. But my kids have always known that I have always told them the truth (age-appropriate) about every single thing they have ever asked, with no exceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) I won't insult anyone's reactions or feelings, but IMHO there were possibly more (deeper) issues there with parents than just the Santa thing. Whenever I brought up something illogical about Santa my parent's would say, "That's Christmas magic." Once I finally didn't believe them anymore, I was upset my parents lied to me. I didn't have any disability or deep issues. Edited December 4, 2011 by Caribbean Queen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 :lol: Don't forget the controversial Miracle Whip. This -- I am unfamiliar with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Maybe this didn't happen on this board, but once I recall a very heated and nasty discussion about who likes Miracle Whip or not. You've been eavesdropping on my family whenever my mom and dad visit. There is a heated discussion about Miracle Whip every single time. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 The entire point to me here is that she didn't have to perpetuate the fantasy. She could have, should have, side-stepped the discussion entirely. It's clear you don't "do" Santa. Fine. But the disdain is condescending and offensive. We did "do" Santa when the children were younger, but I personally do not have a problem with others who are insistent upon telling what they view as the truth when a parental talk with child can clear up the matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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