Doing a child's work for them

[mommymilkies]

I have an acquaintance here in town. Her girls are the same ages as my oldest two, and we've known each other for years, so we talk at soccer, etc. sometimes. This week she told me that one of her stepdaughters had a science project due about molecules and atoms. So she did her science project for her and went into great detail about how she did it. And then she decided it was fun, so she did her stepdaughter's best friend's project, too. These are graded projects for a high school upper level class.

 

I just can't believe that anyone's parents would do this for their child or allow their child to have someone else do the work! I don't know how the best friend could have slipped it by, either, because my friend worked on it for days and spent like $20 in materials on it. Dh teaches at the college here. Most of his students are from the high school in town. She said this right in front of him (not to mention the college Bio professor sitting next to us). I think dh felt conflicted about this. So many of his students are completely unprepared for any sort of science and most can not write simple lab reports or research papers. He seemed unsurprised, but disappointed. He won't turn them in-he doesn't even know the kids' names for sure and he has no proof. But it's just very disappointing.

 

I guess where I'm going here is-how would a parent justify doing someone else's big science project. Do they really think they're helping the child?

[Karen in CO]

I can't justify it, but I've seen a lot of it. My ds had many friends whose parents did their projects for them.

[myfunnybunch]

This week she told me that one of her stepdaughters had a science project due about molecules and atoms. So she did her science project for her and went into great detail about how she did it. And then she decided it was fun, so she did her stepdaughter's best friend's project, too. These are graded projects for a high school upper level class.

 

:blink:

 

And to brag about it, too. The cherry on top of the cheating sundae.

 

Cat

[MeaganS]

For High School, that is ridiculous, but for Elementary, I've seen many teachers require homework that it is impossible for a child to do on his or her own, and which basically turns into homework for the parents. In a case like that, I wouldn't bat an eye.

[SKL]

When I was growing up, this would have been unheard of (in my circles, anyway). But recently, when this topic has come up, parents make the excuse that the teachers now design the projects so that they require parental involvement. They also feel that almost every other parent is doing the same, so not doing so would put their child in a bad light with the teacher, and mess up a GPA that might matter for the future.

 

I still hate the idea. I guess I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. I would never give help to the child without the teacher being aware, though.

[BarbecueMom]

I had a friend in school whose mom did much of her homework. I think there were time issues (friend was in a competitive sport), perfectionism issues with the friend, and issues with mom not accepting that her child maybe wasn't "way above average" academically. However, they never bragged about it. I suspected it from conversations, peer grading, and adult handwriting on homework/projects, and I don't think any teachers ever knew. I never called her out on it, because I knew she was ashamed of it and likely wasn't the one suggesting a parent do her homework in the first place.

[Leav97]

I read an online post yesterday about a 1st grader. He was frustrated with his homework being too easy. He started paying his 4 year old brother 10 cents a page.

 

For high school, I think she's nuts.

[SKL]

I remember a person from another culture (living in the US) mentioning that her first-grade daughter was not living up to her expectations in school. After the child went to bed, the mom went over her homework and changed all the wrong answers to right. I was with a good friend from that culture, and I expressed my shock to my friend. My friend felt the mom had done nothing wrong. "How could you send your child to school knowing her homework has wrong answers? No wonder you Americans are such losers."

 

Of course, I came from a family where homework was my responsibility and mine alone. My parents didn't even ask if I had homework, let alone review it or correct it. I always thought that was how I got prepared for the responsibilities of college, work, and life. But maybe not.

[FaithManor]

I've heard of this happening. But, then, a bunch of kids got busted last year at the local high school for hiring college students to do their projects and writing assignments for them. I guess it was a nice money-maker for the college students.:001_huh:

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

Faith

[Jean in Newcastle]

Seeing all the cartoons, sit-com episodes and other allusions to parents doing their child's homework, I think this must be a common enough occurrence in our culture.

[Lovin Learnin]

I met a women who was an assistant to a high powered executive. She said she was regularly asked to do homework (reports, projects, research) for the executive's high school age daughter. I personally believe this is highly unethical on everyone's part, including the assistant, but she didn't mind because she said doing homework was preferable to doing her job.

 

Of course this is not the norm but I cringe to think that these children go through school on someone else's work and then, because their parents have all the right connections, they get offered jobs on the fast track to executive status themselves.

[Spryte]

This is all too common in our area. I was shocked at first, and disappointed. Now, I am still disappointed - but not shocked.

 

I know of one child whose mother did most of his projects - even winning some science fairs (do I need to say how upsetting that is??) - and she now writes his college papers as well. He lives at home while going to a major university. It's inexcusable, and the disservice she has done for her child will follow him for life. I fear he may eventually be a 45 year old living in his mother's basement.

 

This is not a friend, and I can't ask her reasoning for doing this. I know her child (now a young adult) better than I know her. He knows that what they are doing is wrong. But - at his age - he wants to take the easy road.

 

It's sad.

[SKL]

Of course this is not the norm but I cringe to think that these children go through school on someone else's work and then, because their parents have all the right connections, they get offered jobs on the fast track to executive status themselves.

 

As a professional who has had to recruit young professionals, you can pretty much tell who these kids are. I ask them to tell me something about their accomplishments, and they answer with something about how wonderful their parents are. (Including, "I went to X fancy prep high school," i.e., my mommy and daddy were rich enough to send me there 8 years ago. Big whoop?) They have literally nothing to say about themselves. They don't know why they want to be in this career field. When it's their turn to ask questions, they ask, "why should I choose you over other job offers?"

 

If hired (by some sucker), these kids continue to be high-maintenance, low-performing, and expecting to be treated as if their elite parents were actually the ones we hired. I actually had one whipper-snapper (who took the CPA exam 8 times before finally passing) say that she was in competition with me and would probably be my boss. TO MY FACE. After about 10 years of reality, I think she has figured out how to shut her trap and do her dang work.

Edited September 27, 2011 by SKL

[TrixieB]

I know someone who does a lot of the researching, writing, and typing up of their junior high child's papers. From what the parent said, it's unclear to me whether the student is involved at all, or whether the parent does all the work. I sometimes wonder whether the teachers notice that the grammar and mechanics don't match up between the in-class writing and the homework writing.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

This is all too common in our area. I was shocked at first, and disappointed. Now, I am still disappointed - but not shocked.

 

I know of one child whose mother did most of his projects - even winning some science fairs (do I need to say how upsetting that is??) - and she now writes his college papers as well. He lives at home while going to a major university. It's inexcusable, and the disservice she has done for her child will follow him for life. I fear he may eventually be a 45 year old living in his mother's basement.

 

This is not a friend, and I can't ask her reasoning for doing this. I know her child (now a young adult) better than I know her. He knows that what they are doing is wrong. But - at his age - he wants to take the easy road.

 

It's sad.

 

He's not premed, is he?

[KAR120C]

I guess where I'm going here is-how would a parent justify doing someone else's big science project. Do they really think they're helping the child?

I'd like to say I'm shocked but I've heard it too many times before. DH used to work with an engineer who spent his days doing his high school kid's calculus homework. I had a parent once approach me about tutoring her (I tutor high school math) so she could help with her college son's homework. Honestly by high school and college I'd like the kids who are having trouble to go to the resources that are available to them - their teachers, tutoring centers, math lab, whatever.

 

DS does competitive science fairs, and it comes up there too. There are absolutely parents who interfere with their kids' projects... but it almost never gets past the judges. The competitions DS has been involved in require extensive student interviews, and it becomes really obvious really fast if the kid doesn't know what he supposedly did. In our house, because of my math and data background I categorically refuse to touch his numbers. If he has a question we have friends he can call in their professional capacity, and he needs to document their assistance and acknowledge it appropriately, but he also needs to have exhausted his own resources first before bothering someone at work.

 

As far as sending him in (to a class or to a competition) with mistakes... it happens. They're his own mistakes. If I think he's not put in the work that the assignment or project deserved, I'll ask questions, encourage him to go back and add to it, etc. But if he can't do it himself, he's not benefitting from the work. And I'd much rather he honestly earn a bad grade or a low ranking in a competition than for him to think that awards are more important than the work, or that he can't do these things independently.

[myfunnybunch]

Of course, I came from a family where homework was my responsibility and mine alone. My parents didn't even ask if I had homework, let alone review it or correct it. I always thought that was how I got prepared for the responsibilities of college, work, and life.

 

Me too.

 

Cat

[Spryte]

He's not premed, is he?

 

Oh, thank goodness, No! :lol: I shudder to think of that!

 

He was an engineering major, but mommy couldn't handle the workload on that one, so now he's in a more liberal arts program. Fairly harmless, other than the harm that he's doing himself.

[Ria]

If someone told me that, I'd call the school and report them. Seriously. You'd be doing the kid a favor...

[Rivka]

I remember reading an article by a father who did his son's stupid and time-consuming homework projects ("cut pictures out of magazines which illustrate geometric shapes") while assigning his son actual work at home ("convert 50 improper fractions to mixed numbers").

 

I could see doing that.

[Parrothead]

Back when we were in MT it was an open secret in that particular that parents did several projects throughout their child's school career.

[Farrar]

For High School, that is ridiculous, but for Elementary, I've seen many teachers require homework that it is impossible for a child to do on his or her own, and which basically turns into homework for the parents. In a case like that, I wouldn't bat an eye.

 

:iagree:

 

I think this trend, coupled with the general pressure on kids in some schools, has made the whole thing seem commonplace and acceptable, even when it's clearly not.

[Jenny in GA]

This suddenly reminded me of a conversation I had with a woman whose daughter was very sick with mono or something and missed several weeks of school in the spring of her junior year at public school.

 

When I asked about her daughter, she said she was finally better, but that they were having a terrible time getting all the make-up work done so her daughter could finish the school year on time.

 

She went on to say that "Everybody in the family" was scrambling to work on an assignment, and "we're having OOT relatives coming to town tomorrow, and we're going to make sure we give each of them something to work on too!"

 

I saw no indication that she was either kidding, or even that she thought this was odd or bad in any way.

[Jenny in GA]

Also, I have noticed that it is very common for people on Facebook to post things like, "Whew, we're finally done working on Billy Bob's science fair project!" or "Wow, third grade homework is exhausting me!"

 

What strikes me as funny is that they don't seem the least bit apologetic or embarrassed, and absolutely nobody questions them on that. It seems like an expected part of parenting.

[Garga]

When I was about 10 years old (28 years ago), my family was friends with a little old lady (in her 80's) who said she used to do her kid's high school homework. If the woman was about 40 when she did her kid's homework, this was (wait...doing the math....) 68 years ago (or more.)

 

I think that parents doing their kid's work has been going on for a looooooong time.

[justamouse]

And we wonder why our kids feel entitled...

[Dmmetler]

My favorite example was in the sit-com "That's So Raven", where the kid deliberately messed up his planets project so that his parents would fix it after he went to bed-which he documented and proved his ACTUAL project (which was to create and test a theory)-the theory that parents would always protect/help their child!

 

But yes, I think this happens a lot, especially when a project is for particularly high stakes. And I can recall one specific high school history project where I'd carefully gone through and written out, longhand (for a teacher who, in the past, had not allowed me to type despite an IEP calling for it) summaries of a bunch of articles. After I turned it in, she told me she couldn't read my handwriting and wanted it typed-on Monday. My entire family went into the college computer lab and typed those stupid summaries, all weekend, so I'd have something to turn in, because my typing was just as slow and laborious as my handwriting.

 

DH has a similar memory with a US states project, which required (in the pre-internet research area) coming up with a bunch of data on each state and putting it on a poster. He got all of it on notecards in the school library, but then his mom and older sister helped him type it into the computer so he could stick it on the poster, because, again, it was a really large amount of tedious busywork.

 

And then there are the "there's no way a child can do this by themselves" project. For example, 2nd graders in my daughter's former school had to do a states "float" for a parade. I don't know many 7-8 yr olds who can create miniature replicas of Mount Rushmore on a wheeled platform without help. I strongly suspect a child who actually DID the work themselves at a 2nd grade level would end up failing-or at least, end up with everyone feeling sorry for them.

Edited September 27, 2011 by dmmetler

[Hen]

our church has a prep private school, they participate in a national History day competition each year. I've heard several years in a row about parents staying up till 3 a.m. working with their children on it. I didn't get the impression that they parents did all the work, but it sounded like a case of the parents dragging the kids through what needed to be done. I was really unimpressed with the whole thing. Our charter school has opportunities to do the competition, but I didn't like the idea of my kids competing against kids AND their parents as a team.

 

My dd had her first Science fair project last year, I was not involved beyond brainstorming ideas,reminding her to do the different parts and taking her to buy supplies. It was still exhausting, though- the whole nagging and knowing she was up till 1 a.m. finishing it...I went to bed:tongue_smilie:

Edited September 27, 2011 by Hen Jen
spelling

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Can anyone tell me how our independently-working children are supposed to compete with this nonsense?

 

I do worry about it. I know that if they can get into the right environments their own cache of knowledge and skills will manifest itself quickly, but will they be at a disadvantage for scholarships, etc. with their honestly-earned Mommy grades?

[Dmmetler]

Most competitive events-including college interviews-are set up so the parent can't do it for the child. My parents are actively involved in high level science competition and both can usually weed out the parent-done (or professionally done, since often at this level kids are working with mentors) projects within the application phase and maybe one phone call where they talk to the student. And that's even before the formal interview.

 

I don't think teachers/staff at the school level are clueless about parents "helping", either. I think it's that they ignore it figuring that it's good that parents are involved or because it's become such an expectation in the school's culture that they don't want to rock the boat.

 

[katilac]

When my dd was 3, her preschool had the class do small posters (at home) of what they were thankful for at Thanksgiving, and bring them in. No further instructions. Hers was the ONLY one that featured shaky lettering and crayon drawings of her family with giant heads, lol. The rest were obviously done by an adult, either with fancy craft supplies or on the computer. For most of them, there's no way the kids even HELPED, because everything was absolutely perfect.

 

What was the point?? There were no grades in preschool! It's not like a 'poor' performance was going to keep them out of prek4, jeez.

[Mommy22alyns]

I have definitely heard of that before. There's no way on earth I'd be doing it.

[Night Elf]

I guess where I'm going here is-how would a parent justify doing someone else's big science project. Do they really think they're helping the child?

 

My dd19's stepmom always helped her on big projects and papers. She was a teacher in the school and didn't want to be embarrassed if dd19 didn't so a superlative job. She also wanted dd19 to remain in gifted classes so she could be an honors and AP student in high school and then go on to a nice college. That was her justification. It sure never made sense to me!

[SKL]

When my dd was 3, her preschool had the class do small posters (at home) of what they were thankful for at Thanksgiving, and bring them in. No further instructions. Hers was the ONLY one that featured shaky lettering and crayon drawings of her family with giant heads, lol. The rest were obviously done by an adult, either with fancy craft supplies or on the computer. For most of them, there's no way the kids even HELPED, because everything was absolutely perfect.

 

What was the point?? There were no grades in preschool! It's not like a 'poor' performance was going to keep them out of prek4, jeez.

 

I think the point was probably to give the child something to show-and-tell about, rather than to showcase her poster-making abilities.

 

My kids started getting homework right around their 3rd birthdays. I wrote a note to the teacher stating that I would give them [limited] time and space to do their homework, but she was going to get back whatever THEY did. Or whatever they did NOT do. I would not sit with them, teach them what to do, force them to do it, and certainly not do it for them. (I was pleasantly surprised to see that my kids did choose to do what they had been asked, more or less.) Eventually the teacher stopped sending homework papers home. I guess some other parents protested. But then she started asking for bags of stuff - something yellow, something beginning with B, seven of something - and that was more annoying, because it was not possible for a tot to do it all on her own. I felt it sent the wrong message - that homework is the parents' primary responsibility. (I also felt that it was unnecessary.) The girls' next teacher didn't do "homework."

 

Now my KG kid is great about doing her homework. She will even do it before coming home if we have a busy evening planned. She keeps a little bag of supplies in her book bag for this purpose. Hopefully she will continue this trend into the upper grades. I have no desire to work on a science fair project. (Bad mom alert!)

[Kirch]

Also, I have noticed that it is very common for people on Facebook to post things like, "Whew, we're finally done working on Billy Bob's science fair project!" or "Wow, third grade homework is exhausting me!"

 

What strikes me as funny is that they don't seem the least bit apologetic or embarrassed, and absolutely nobody questions them on that. It seems like an expected part of parenting.

 

Well, in all fairness, I know parents who say those things and I'm certain they're just helping. Or just trying to get little Johnny to DO his 3rd grade homework. I would imagine that trying to get a resistant child to do a project or even finish his homework would be exhausting. I know I'm ready to pull my hair out with homeschooling a resistant child some days! So that's what I'd assume with a post like that, unless I had a good reason to think that the parent was actually doing the project.

 

I remember reading an article by a father who did his son's stupid and time-consuming homework projects ("cut pictures out of magazines which illustrate geometric shapes") while assigning his son actual work at home ("convert 50 improper fractions to mixed numbers").

 

I could see doing that.

 

If I were regularly going to that kind of trouble, I'd just homeschool!

 

I remember a person from another culture (living in the US) mentioning that her first-grade daughter was not living up to her expectations in school. After the child went to bed, the mom went over her homework and changed all the wrong answers to right. I was with a good friend from that culture, and I expressed my shock to my friend. My friend felt the mom had done nothing wrong. "How could you send your child to school knowing her homework has wrong answers? No wonder you Americans are such losers."

 

Of course, I came from a family where homework was my responsibility and mine alone. My parents didn't even ask if I had homework, let alone review it or correct it. I always thought that was how I got prepared for the responsibilities of college, work, and life. But maybe not.

 

:001_huh: I can kind of see not wanting to send your child to school knowing her homework has wrong answers. That might be tough for me to just let that go, but I wouldn't be changing my child's answers later--I'd be HELPING him do it to make sure he understands it (in first grade and early elementary--later on I'd probably let him do it on his own and ask for help unless he had really been struggling with something). Changing her answers does NOTHING to make sure she's going to succeed except get her a better grade on one homework assignment. Mommy won't be there to change her answers on a test!!

Edited September 27, 2011 by Kirch

[mommymilkies]

:001_huh: I can kind of see not wanting to send your child to school knowing her homework has wrong answers. That might be tough for me to just let that go, but I wouldn't be changing my child's answers later--I'd be HELPING him do it to make sure he understands it (in first grade and early elementary--later on I'd probably let him do it on his own and ask for help unless he had really been struggling with something). Changing her answers does NOTHING to make sure she's going to succeed except get her a better grade on one homework assignment. Mommy won't be there to change her answers on a test!!

 

:iagree:

 

And this wasn't a high stakes project. Heck, they're not even A-B students from what my friend told me. They just were being lazy and she decided to do it for them so they didn't "have to".

 

And I can see helping your kids. But doing it FOR them or giving them the answers is just wrong on so many levels.

 

Oh, and I am now mortified at my grammar mistake in the title of this thread. I wrote it when I was eating. :lol:

[Kirch]

:iagree:

 

And this wasn't a high stakes project. Heck, they're not even A-B students from what my friend told me. They just were being lazy and she decided to do it for them so they didn't "have to".

 

And I can see helping your kids. But doing it FOR them or giving them the answers is just wrong on so many levels.

 

Oh, and I am now mortified at my grammar mistake in the title of this thread. I wrote it when I was eating. :lol:

 

Well, you know, if your mom or dad had just done your grammar homework FOR you when you were in school, it never would have happened! :tongue_smilie:

[snickelfritz]

Also, I have noticed that it is very common for people on Facebook to post things like, "Whew, we're finally done working on Billy Bob's science fair project!" or "Wow, third grade homework is exhausting me!"

.

 

I do want to comment on this. My dd started 3rd grade in a private school and her homework and assignments do exhaust me, though I am most certainly not doing them for her. I carve out time for homework, have her re-write more neatly, edit, check, cajole, remind, come up with a variety of ways to practice spelling, etc.... I do not write for her or tell her what to write. I do point out that 5 sentences about the character's appearance do not describe the beginning of the book. I do help her look up words in the dictionary to check spelling.

 

I'm not condoning DOING homework for the child. But, I would contend that proper helping is MORE work than doing it for them. And based on written instruction, dd's teacher DOES want the parent to edit, encourage neatness, be involved in homework, etc...

[mommymilkies]

Well, you know, if your mom or dad had just done your grammar homework FOR you when you were in school, it never would have happened! :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol: If my parents had done my homework for me, I would have flunked out by 3rd grade!

[Halcyon]

I can't justify it, but I've seen a lot of it. My ds had many friends whose parents did their projects for them.

 

 

:iagree:

[KAR120C]

I'm not condoning DOING homework for the child. But, I would contend that proper helping is MORE work than doing it for them. And based on written instruction, dd's teacher DOES want the parent to edit, encourage neatness, be involved in homework, etc...

And as someone who tutors, I'd much rather a parent be involved, make sure the kid is reading and understanding the instructions on their homework, suggest that they edit for neatness, even have them re-do what they did wrong the first time. What I want the kid to do is practice the math. If they need to go to someone (parent) to bounce ideas off of or if they need support to get it done on time and legibly, that's fine.

 

If the parent is DOING the homework (and letting the kid out of the practice he seriously needs) then it's not helpful. But telling them to take another look at parts they had trouble with, or to recopy a mess onto a clean sheet of paper for me... that's all good. If they waste their time on homework they didn't understand, and then have to spend another expensive hour with me re-doing what came down to a simple misunderstanding... that's not good.

 

The grey area would be parents checking the work before it comes back to me. If there's a huge discrepancy between what they did right to begin with and what they did right after reminders, I'd want to know so I can keep an eye on it and not move on too fast. I'll figure it out eventually, but it helps to have a heads-up if they're having trouble.

[woolybear]

Oh, thank goodness, No! :lol: I shudder to think of that!

 

He was an engineering major, but mommy couldn't handle the workload on that one, so now he's in a more liberal arts program. Fairly harmless, other than the harm that he's doing himself.

 

Unless he ends up designing bridges or dams.:001_huh:

[Hockey Mom]

When my dd was 3, her preschool had the class do small posters (at home) of what they were thankful for at Thanksgiving, and bring them in. No further instructions. Hers was the ONLY one that featured shaky lettering and crayon drawings of her family with giant heads, lol. The rest were obviously done by an adult, either with fancy craft supplies or on the computer. For most of them, there's no way the kids even HELPED, because everything was absolutely perfect.

 

What was the point?? There were no grades in preschool! It's not like a 'poor' performance was going to keep them out of prek4, jeez.

 

And the flip side of this is when parents expect perfect craft projects coming home from their preschooler. I used to teach PreK, and was amazed at the number of parents who had never received a handmade project from their child that was made BY their child (and not the teacher). I had a strict 'hands off' policy. I never understood why some PreK teacher would pre-cut, pre-glue, or pre-color the projects for their classrooms.

[SKL]

And the flip side of this is when parents expect perfect craft projects coming home from their preschooler. I used to teach PreK, and was amazed at the number of parents who had never received a handmade project from their child that was made BY their child (and not the teacher). I had a strict 'hands off' policy. I never understood why some PreK teacher would pre-cut, pre-glue, or pre-color the projects for their classrooms.

 

I have this major disconnect with my kids' nanny. She was my kids' primary childcare (during business hours) from age 1-2.5, and since then she's come on Saturday mornings. One of her qualifications is that she's a professional artist. So you'd think she would value creativity in kids' art. But she would do 95% of everything for my kids and then expect me to be wowed by their "creations." I am not good at faking it. I would rather see an unrecognizable scribble done exclusively by my kid.

 

My kids' preschool-3/4 teacher also did a lot of the kids' projects, leaving just one or two steps for the kids to do. Nice innovative stuff, but if the kids can't do the work, it isn't age appropriate. Thanks for the effort, but it tells me nothing about what my kids are learning. And frankly, most of it goes right into the garbage, because I am not about to store up hundreds of crafts done by my kids' preschool teachers.

[sewingmama]

I have this major disconnect with my kids' nanny. She was my kids' primary childcare (during business hours) from age 1-2.5, and since then she's come on Saturday mornings. One of her qualifications is that she's a professional artist. So you'd think she would value creativity in kids' art. But she would do 95% of everything for my kids and then expect me to be wowed by their "creations." I am not good at faking it. I would rather see an unrecognizable scribble done exclusively by my kid.

 

My kids' preschool-3/4 teacher also did a lot of the kids' projects, leaving just one or two steps for the kids to do. Nice innovative stuff, but if the kids can't do the work, it isn't age appropriate. Thanks for the effort, but it tells me nothing about what my kids are learning. And frankly, most of it goes right into the garbage, because I am not about to store up hundreds of crafts done by my kids' preschool teachers.

 

 

I once had a neighbour who was a 4th grade teacher. She told me her class was having an essay competition and asked me to come in and be one of the judges (small town). As I listened to the kids reading out their essays I was wowed - I couldn't believe every kid in her class could write so well above their grade level. Then she called this one boy up to the front of the class (he was the known trouble maker who she said never did his work). I was seated right behind him and watched him fish a scrunched paper out of his desk and flatten it out. On it was written 2 sentances. He walked to the front of the class and without glancing at the paper gave quite a decent rendition of a complete essay off the top of his head. Anyway we had to vote and a couple of girls won.

 

Later after class I commented about how amazing it was that she had gotten all these kids to write so well and she told me "Oh I wrote all their essays for them - they just contributed here and there". :001_huh: I remember feeling so gipped by voting for these essays. If I had to do it again I would have voted for the boy with 2 sentances on his page who did it off the top of his head because obviously he was the only one who did his own work.

 

Turns out they were making teacher cuts at the school and since this teacher was the newest teacher to be hired she was the one they were looking at firing so she thought if she made all her kids look like superstars they wouldn't fire her - so to acheive this she did all their work for them :confused:

[snickelfritz]

Unless he ends up designing bridges or dams.:001_huh:

 

Many engineering professions (especially those upon whom public safety rest) have to pass a series of professional exams. They take a basic engineering knowledge test while in college, or soon after. After working under another certified engineer for a certain number of years, they take the PE, or the engineering professional exam. These are in-depth, intense tests. Public safety projects would require a PE to sign off on any work by a non-PE.

 

That doesn't stop stupid mistakes, since all engineers study cases where engineers made a BIG mistake. However, at least mommy won't be able to take the tests for him.

[Jenny in GA]

I do want to comment on this. My dd started 3rd grade in a private school and her homework and assignments do exhaust me, though I am most certainly not doing them for her. I carve out time for homework, have her re-write more neatly, edit, check, cajole, remind, come up with a variety of ways to practice spelling, etc.... I do not write for her or tell her what to write. I do point out that 5 sentences about the character's appearance do not describe the beginning of the book. I do help her look up words in the dictionary to check spelling.

 

I'm not condoning DOING homework for the child. But, I would contend that proper helping is MORE work than doing it for them. And based on written instruction, dd's teacher DOES want the parent to edit, encourage neatness, be involved in homework, etc...

 

Noted, thanks!

 

I think the thing that is strange for me when I read comments like that is that:

 

1) I know I did not even have homework in third grade;

 

2) When I was slightly older and did have homework, my parents rarely had the slightest idea what my assignments even were, let alone specifically describing the assignment to other adults or saying things like, "Whew, we're finally done!" or feeling exhausted because of my assigments.

 

I'm not necessarily saying one is better than the other. Who knows, maybe my parents should have done a lot more. But comments like that just personally strike me as bizarre because it is so very different than my own experience as a kid.

[Annie]

I don't think this is a new phenomenon. I'm in my mid twenties, and I remember it happening fairly regularly when I was in school. I moved from an urban school to a suburban school in fifth grade, I still vividly remember coming to school to turn in my first major project/poster. I was quite proud of what I made until I got to school and saw the other projects. I thought I was way behind the other kids until I talked to a few of them, and they told me that mom did all of their posters or they, "wouldn't be good enough." :001_huh: I was one of probably three kids who did their own project.

 

 

For High School, that is ridiculous, but for Elementary, I've seen many teachers require homework that it is impossible for a child to do on his or her own, and which basically turns into homework for the parents. In a case like that, I wouldn't bat an eye.

 

:iagree: My younger sister went to the suburban school mentioned above for her whole school career, and after seeing the work she came home with, I understand how my classmates got in the habit of their mothers doing their homework. The projects were tedious, time consuming, expensive and overwhelming.

[Night Elf]

I'm not condoning DOING homework for the child. But, I would contend that proper helping is MORE work than doing it for them. And based on written instruction, dd's teacher DOES want the parent to edit, encourage neatness, be involved in homework, etc...

 

:iagree: I help my ds15 a great deal of each school day and he's in 10th grade! I'll clarify by saying that he has Aspergers and often has trouble getting started with stuff. I think it has something to do with the executive functioning thing. And when he has to write essays, regardless of length, I am giving him sentences to jump start him. I end up beginning to paraphrase what we've read (I read most of his work aloud because reading it himself and retaining the information would make his lessons even longer) and then he digests it and writes something original. He doesn't like to paraphrase which is really a good thing. Unfortunately, our method of doing school takes a very long time with this level of work. He is doing more work independently than he did last year, but he still has a long way to go to be able to look at an assignment and go through all the steps from reading it to completing it totally independently. But I'll admit that sometimes I just wish I could take the laptop and just do it myself. The process is arduous and we have come to really dread his work each day. There is very little joy in this school year for him. Or for me for that matter!

 

So yeah, I always say that WE have finished an assignment because it really is a joint effort most of the time.

[Slipper]

I think it depends, too, on the district that you live in. Our previous district is notorious for projects. So many projects are assigned that the parents have to be involved or their child will fail. Some parents do the projects for their kids, some hire outside help to do the projects, but most do a modified project.

 

For example, one project involved putting together a scrapbook on the presidential elections. The parent I know bought the scrapbook ($20 apiece and every parent bought one except for one kid and his was marked off for not having a 'neat' appearance). She cut out pictures and printed articles off of the internet. She put together the scrapbook and had her daughter read the articles and write a two page report independently (though my friend proofread for errors). In my friend's opinion, buying a scrapbook and cutting out pictures would not make her daughter any smarter. She also wasn't comfortable letting her google around for articles. Reading and writing the report made the most sense. I agree.

 

In this same district (and same parent), her son has so many projects, papers and tests coming up, she is checking him out of school right after lunch today so he will have a couple of extra hours to finish his schoolwork. It's ridiculous that she should have to do something like that.

 

One of the worst projects done for this district involved her son doing a study on bats. He had to make a bat poster, write a 3 page report on bats, write a two page report on how bats hunt, identify different types of bats (scrapbook) and characteristics of each and then make a 3-d sculpture of a bat. This is one teacher, one class. He had several other classes with tests, papers and projects.