s/o of s/o Why do some women not put effort into their appearance??

[Snickerdoodle]

.

[LibraryLover]

Well, I do wear make-up, I have fun with fashion and I enjoy having my hair done, but, I know that everyone has different interests, tastes, and priorities.

 

It wouldn't occur to me to think someone must be ill, depressed, or is "not making an effort on her appearance" just because she's shopping in sweats and not wearing make-up. It honestly wouldn't be on my radar.

 

Make-up, no make-up, boots with shorts ;)----it's all fine by me.

 

 

:) Exacadactl. (I'm having trouble spelling that. lol)

 

Whatever floats your boat. :)

[KungFuPanda]

In the last thread, some were talking about being low maintenance about their appearance. This is different than not putting virtually any effort forth.

 

What I mean is wearing unflattering clothes, an unflattering hair cut, and for some, not wearing make-up

 

Because I'm naturally cute, and have long, curly red hair that does what it wants, and I make these sweats work! Because confidence is attractive and being afraid to leave the house without hiding behind make-up seems silly for a grown woman. :lol:

[Pam Wilhelm]

In the last thread, some were talking about being low maintenance about their appearance. This is different than not putting virtually any effort forth.

 

What I mean is wearing unflattering clothes, an unflattering hair cut, and for some, not wearing any make up. (While some women look great without make up, some looked washed out and tired without it.)

 

I don't think money is the cause. Even if one shops at Goodwill, nicer fitting clothing is the same price as old, baggy sweat pants. Mascara and blush at Target would cost $10 every six months.

 

I also don't think weight is an issue as people of all sizes look attractive when they make an effort.

 

An updated haircut costs as much as an outdated one.

 

I ask this question because I often see a woman wearing baggy sweats and an old, ill-fitting tee shirt, and I wonder why she doesn't take a bit more effort for herself. It takes one afternoon of shopping and 15-20 minutes of extra time in the morning. It's difficult to believe most people can't spare that small amount of time.

 

My dd works with a woman in her 50s. She wears jeans and different colored Gap tee shirts. She pairs them with different scarves and always looks great. Simple, decent quality, inexpensive.

 

Again, I'm not talking about people that favor a low-maintenance look. That's intentional and attractive, too. I'm wondering about those who do not take any time with their clothing, hair, or skin.

 

Man, I wish you would quit following me around!!!! :glare:

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Jenny in Florida]

Because confidence is attractive and being afraid to leave the house without hiding behind make-up seems silly for a grown woman.

 

That is my absolute favorite thing anyone has said on this thread. Without a doubt.

[KidsHappen]

The truth, I really just don't give a $%$#

 

:iagree: I busted out laughing when I got to this post because it is exactly what I have been thinking about this whole topic. I say this as I sit here in my pjs drinking my beer as I am pretty sure my hubby (of 20 years) is getting ready to wisk me off for some teAtime. ;)

[LidiyaDawn]

In the last thread, some were talking about being low maintenance about their appearance. This is different than not putting virtually any effort forth.

 

What I mean is wearing unflattering clothes, an unflattering hair cut, and for some, not wearing any make up. (While some women look great without make up, some looked washed out and tired without it.)

 

I don't think money is the cause. Even if one shops at Goodwill, nicer fitting clothing is the same price as old, baggy sweat pants. Mascara and blush at Target would cost $10 every six months.

 

I also don't think weight is an issue as people of all sizes look attractive when they make an effort.

 

An updated haircut costs as much as an outdated one.

 

I ask this question because I often see a woman wearing baggy sweats and an old, ill-fitting tee shirt, and I wonder why she doesn't take a bit more effort for herself. It takes one afternoon of shopping and 15-20 minutes of extra time in the morning. It's difficult to believe most people can't spare that small amount of time.

 

My dd works with a woman in her 50s. She wears jeans and different colored Gap tee shirts. She pairs them with different scarves and always looks great. Simple, decent quality, inexpensive.

 

Again, I'm not talking about people that favor a low-maintenance look. That's intentional and attractive, too. I'm wondering about those who do not take any time with their clothing, hair, or skin.

 

Why do you care?

 

Maybe those folks whom you say have "unflattering" clothing or "outdated" hair happen to LIKE their outfits and hairstyles…maybe that "washed out and tired" woman prefers the way her skin feels without any goopy stuff on it…

[AppleGreen]

I'm pretty sure you care more about it than my husband. There's a line from a Drake song that my dh says always reminds him of me:

 

"Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on

That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong"

 

Sometimes I think the whole make-up and made-up thing is more important to women than men.

[myfunnybunch]

everyone has different interests, tastes, and priorities.

 

It wouldn't occur to me to think someone must be ill, depressed, or is "not making an effort on her appearance" just because she's shopping in sweats and not wearing make-up. It honestly wouldn't be on my radar.

 

This.

 

Why is it on anyone's radar?

 

What another person wears to the grocery store is really none of my business. I'm far more interested in whether someone's got a smile on her face than her makeup or lack of it.

 

Well, shoot, I just re-read and that sounds really holier-than-thou. That's not what I am going for. I mostly mean that I really just don't notice, and am puzzled that others seem to find it...offensive? Bothersome? I'm not sure of the right word. I guess that's the part I don't get--why does it bother anyone what other women wear? (Within reason. I'm assuming good hygiene and appropriate coverage.) We all notice, sure, and I do notice when someone is stylishly dressed. I think "Cool. Wonder where she bought that?"

 

I get the whole "first impressions" thing, but I'm not going to the grocery store to find a bff. And if I meet someone at a group function or the park, I'm more likely to get my impressions from the way they talk or interact with their children or what they're reading. Whether they "keep themselves up" or "let themselves go" isn't really a factor for me. And, again, I don't mean that in a snotty way, I truly mean it doesn't really register with me.

 

Cat

[Snickerdoodle]

Sometimes I think the whole make-up and made-up thing is more important to women than men.

Women are so hard on each other. Really.

[myfunnybunch]

Because confidence is attractive and being afraid to leave the house without hiding behind make-up seems silly for a grown woman. :lol:

 

We really need a like button. I like this 100 times.

 

Cathy

[AppleGreen]

Women are so hard on each other. Really.

 

:iagree: yup and it stinks

[Joker]

I'm pretty sure you care more about it than my husband. There's a line from a Drake song that my dh says always reminds him of me:

 

"Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on

That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong"

 

Sometimes I think the whole make-up and made-up thing is more important to women than men.

 

I think the bolded is so true. Women are harder on each other than any man could be ~ at least in my experience. I find it funny about the song lyrics. How many men have written or recorded songs about how they prefer women with no makeup and plain clothes? I can think of a few and find it interesting.

[LibraryLover]

:iagree: I busted out laughing when I got to this post because it is exactly what I have been thinking about this whole topic. I say this as I sit here in my pjs drinking my beer as I am pretty sure my hubby (of 20 years) is getting ready to wisk me off for some teAtime. ;)

 

 

:D It's true my husband wouldn't know fashion if it bit him in the as$. He knows what he likes, but that 'like' is a fair range. :D I do appreciate that, believe you me. lol

[matermagistra]

Vanity - excessive pride in one's appearance, abilities, etc.

 

Someone can be just as prideful about their simple unadorned appearance as another can be about their perfectly made-up one. ;)

 

Funny how that works.

 

Yes, yes and yes!!

 

Vanity comes in all kinds of forms, not just outward appearances. And, while some many not realize it or intend it, the spirit and tone of their posts against those who do like to have their hair cut or wear make-up on a regular basis sounds almost more vain and proud than the women they are looking their noses down upon.

 

Really, it amazes me that this is even up for discussion. To each his own! If someone wants to wear make-up, get their hair cut and wear clothes that fit, that's ok. And if someone wants to wear baggy sweatshirts, hair always in a ponytail and never wears a stitch of make-up that's ok too.

 

Someone else here mentioned "cookie-cutter" hairstyles...that mode of thinking can go in reverse. Those who choose not to do the things mentioned in these threads can still be wanting to "cookie cutter" their way of thinking.

 

Our Great and Glorious Creator made us all different and He was well-pleased with His work. Why can't we just respect that? Why can't we just appreciate all of the things about a person that make them unique? It would be a dull and listless life if everyone looked the same, thought the same and felt the same. If God had wanted that, He could have created us that way. But He didn't and I think all of us need to get off our high horses about a great many things and spend some time learning from our Lord about what Grace and Mercy and Compassion and Respect mean. Because there are a lot of us on these boards who could benefit from time spent doing that, instead of looking down our noses at those who act or think differently than we do on something that is not a sin issue.

 

Love to all~

[WiseOwlKnits]

Because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. My clothes don't fit anymore and I don't feel like dragging myself out in the heat, puking, to buy new ones for the barely 8 weeks that I have left. I've had Hyperemesis the whole time so I feel like cr@p most of the time and it's all I can do some days to just get out of my pjs and put on regular clothes. I don't normally wear much makeup, but I don't wear any now. It was 110 degrees today with the heat index and my face is already breaking out like crazy from all the pregnancy hormones so putting on makeup is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I have a short, feminine cut that I keep up for the most part so I guess I'm at least doing that right.

 

I'm sure people are thinking the same thing when they see me these days. :crying: And honestly that just makes me sad to think that people are judging me when they see me picking up my kids from camp or at the grocery store because I'm not "put together." It's not that I wouldn't like to feel better and look nicer. I just don't have it in me right now to do one. more. thing.

 

:leaving:

[Sarah CB]

But I could also not buy toilet paper and give that money to a charity. You can always be more hardcore in your giving, but you don't have to be ridiculous.

 

I think it's totally selfish to buy toilet paper when other people don't have any toilet paper.

[LibraryLover]

I think it's totally selfish to buy toilet paper when other people don't have any toilet paper.

 

 

Yes! Some people do not even have water to drink and here you are flushing it away, plus killing trees while you do so.

[mommaduck]

I know of several reasons:

 

Religious beliefs: I've worn certain styles of clothing (and my SIL still does) that look like gunny sacks. Sometimes there are better fitting ones and some people intentionally avoid the better fitting ones (to hide ANY body shape). Some of those same people do not believe in makeup, regardless how washed out they look (when I'm anemic, I look washed out and sick, even if I'm not...I finally started wearing occasional makeup again because of this very reason). They don't believe in cutting, styling, or dying their hair. For some people, their hair is hidden most of the time (I personally like my pretty headscarves over my hair...they hide a multitude of issues). Some people can pull all of this off very prettily; others cannot.

 

Health views: some people are against chemicals, unhealthy restrictions (bras!), etc.

 

World views: some people are against wearing anything they determine are "slave made" and therefore avoid buying anything other than hand me downs and thrift store items (combine this with the two above, this creates a very limited selection).

 

Financial difficulties: I know to you it's ONLY $10 for this and $10 for that every six months, but when you add it all up and you NEED that $10-40 to go towards something else, well, you just aren't going to spend it on makeup. Makeup is at the bottom of many people's lists. I'd rather buy a book or few for homeschooling. My husband may be tight on gas money or we need it to help pay a small bill or part of a bigger bill. We may wish to use it towards doing something worthwhile with the kids; time with them is more important than my face after all (and I'm girly; I LIKE makeup!). When it comes to clothing, no, not every thrift store carries nice things or the sizes people are looking for. I've found some do and some don't. Size matters and many times I find stuff that is SEVERELY out of style (so old it's obviously dated and many times UGLY). I know, because that is all I used to shop...that and yard sales. The prices are generally lower than Target or Walmart. When you are tight on money, you will buy what you can afford, if anything at all. There have been times where Walmart seemed pricey. I was in Target recently, and they are pricier than Walmart (and that was even looking at CLEARANCE!).

 

Taste or Ignorance: some people don't like what is available. They may have preferences that are very difficult to find. Or preferences that no one else cares for. They may also not know HOW to shop for their body (or they can't afford to...add that to the one above). Some people really don't know how to put on makeup, are scared of it, think it will make them look worse, and may just feel it's a waste of time and money.

 

Hiding and Protection: some people use clothing to hide things. Deformities, scars from burns or accidents, scalp problems (scarves can be beautiful, but some people are really down on them; you'd be surprised how some people react to a headscarf), etc. There are some communities where women intentionally dress down, because to dress up (even slightly) makes you a target for r@p3.

 

I'm sure there are other reasons. These are the ones I know about from people I've come into contact with.

[mommaduck]

Because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. My clothes don't fit anymore and I don't feel like dragging myself out in the heat, puking, to buy new ones for the barely 8 weeks that I have left. I've had Hyperemesis the whole time so I feel like cr@p most of the time and it's all I can do some days to just get out of my pjs and put on regular clothes. I don't normally wear much makeup, but I don't wear any now. It was 110 degrees today with the heat index and my face is already breaking out like crazy from all the pregnancy hormones so putting on makeup is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I have a short, feminine cut that I keep up for the most part so I guess I'm at least doing that right.

 

I'm sure people are thinking the same thing when they see me these days. :crying: And honestly that just makes me sad to think that people are judging me when they see me picking up my kids from camp or at the grocery store because I'm not "put together." It's not that I wouldn't like to feel better and look nicer. I just don't have it in me right now to do one. more. thing.

 

:leaving:

:grouphug: I have so been there! Three HG pregnancies. They are no fun.

[UnsinkableKristen]

I think it's totally selfish to buy toilet paper when other people don't have any toilet paper.

 

Yes! Some people do not even have water to drink and here you are flushing it away, plus killing trees while you do so.

 

 

:lol::lol:

[LibraryLover]

I think the bolded is so true. Women are harder on each other than any man could be ~ at least in my experience. I find it funny about the song lyrics. How many men have written or recorded songs about how they prefer women with no makeup and plain clothes? I can think of a few and find it interesting.

 

I agree. I do also agree that men and women enjoy each other when they are feeling good, clean, pretty & spiffy. It's fun to get dressed up sometimes. :) It's not the whole of life, but it's a bunch of fun to smell sweet and feel good. Little House in the Big Woods has the men & women dancing about having a grand old time, while the babies are all swaddled on the bed so they can't move and fall off. Laura loves the swaddled babies. :)

[Cheryl in NM]

I prefer to be comfortable. I wear clothes that are comfortable. If too much fat is oozing out, I'll put something else on. I don't wear make up because I can't find anything that I'm not allergic to for my eyes and it doesn't stay on the rest of my face.

 

My Dh loves me and doesn't even notice when I put on makeup for a few hours (a few hours is all I can stand before my eyes turn red and start swelling). He notices the red and swelling. So I don't put make up on anymore.

 

I take a shower, wear clean clothes and style my hair according to my activity.

 

Funny story....

Back before the make up bothered me and I cared more for appearances than comfort I got all dolled up. I put on the makeup, the skin tight jeans and a classy shirt, but with cleavage showing. I paraded around the house but Dh was busy and didn't notice. I mentioned how "cold" I was (my lame reference to the low cut top). He looked at me and said, "Well go put some more clothes on." It's been a running joke since, but I was horribly offended then. Dh cares more about my heart than my face, hair, clothes and body.

 

OP, seriously, take a look at your priorities! Just because someone doesn't wear makeup doesn't mean that they haven't put effort into their appearance. Did you ever think that women in sweats didn't feel well? Maybe you should focus more on yourself and spend less time judging others according to your very personal standards.

[WiseOwlKnits]

:grouphug: I have so been there! Three HG pregnancies. They are no fun.

 

Thanks. This is my 3rd (and will be my last) HG pregnancy. It stinks.

[LittleIzumi]

Because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. My clothes don't fit anymore and I don't feel like dragging myself out in the heat, puking, to buy new ones for the barely 8 weeks that I have left. I've had Hyperemesis the whole time so I feel like cr@p most of the time and it's all I can do some days to just get out of my pjs and put on regular clothes. I don't normally wear much makeup, but I don't wear any now. It was 110 degrees today with the heat index and my face is already breaking out like crazy from all the pregnancy hormones so putting on makeup is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I have a short, feminine cut that I keep up for the most part so I guess I'm at least doing that right.

 

I'm sure people are thinking the same thing when they see me these days. :crying: And honestly that just makes me sad to think that people are judging me when they see me picking up my kids from camp or at the grocery store because I'm not "put together." It's not that I wouldn't like to feel better and look nicer. I just don't have it in me right now to do one. more. thing.

 

:leaving:

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Aelwydd]

I know of several reasons:

 

Religious beliefs: I've worn certain styles of clothing (and my SIL still does) that look like gunny sacks. Sometimes there are better fitting ones and some people intentionally avoid the better fitting ones (to hide ANY body shape). Some of those same people do not believe in makeup, regardless how washed out they look (when I'm anemic, I look washed out and sick, even if I'm not...I finally started wearing occasional makeup again because of this very reason). They don't believe in cutting, styling, or dying their hair. For some people, their hair is hidden most of the time (I personally like my pretty headscarves over my hair...they hide a multitude of issues). Some people can pull all of this off very prettily; others cannot.

 

Health views: some people are against chemicals, unhealthy restrictions (bras!), etc.

 

World views: some people are against wearing anything they determine are "slave made" and therefore avoid buying anything other than hand me downs and thrift store items (combine this with the two above, this creates a very limited selection).

 

Financial difficulties: I know to you it's ONLY $10 for this and $10 for that every six months, but when you add it all up and you NEED that $10-40 to go towards something else, well, you just aren't going to spend it on makeup. Makeup is at the bottom of many people's lists. I'd rather buy a book or few for homeschooling. My husband may be tight on gas money or we need it to help pay a small bill or part of a bigger bill. We may wish to use it towards doing something worthwhile with the kids; time with them is more important than my face after all (and I'm girly; I LIKE makeup!). When it comes to clothing, no, not every thrift store carries nice things or the sizes people are looking for. I've found some do and some don't. Size matters and many times I find stuff that is SEVERELY out of style (so old it's obviously dated and many times UGLY). I know, because that is all I used to shop...that and yard sales. The prices are generally lower than Target or Walmart. When you are tight on money, you will buy what you can afford, if anything at all. There have been times where Walmart seemed pricey. I was in Target recently, and they are pricier than Walmart (and that was even looking at CLEARANCE!).

 

Taste or Ignorance: some people don't like what is available. They may have preferences that are very difficult to find. Or preferences that no one else cares for. They may also not know HOW to shop for their body (or they can't afford to...add that to the one above). Some people really don't know how to put on makeup, are scared of it, think it will make them look worse, and may just feel it's a waste of time and money.

 

Hiding and Protection: some people use clothing to hide things. Deformities, scars from burns or accidents, scalp problems (scarves can be beautiful, but some people are really down on them; you'd be surprised how some people react to a headscarf), etc. There are some communities where women intentionally dress down, because to dress up (even slightly) makes you a target for r@p3.

 

I'm sure there are other reasons. These are the ones I know about from people I've come into contact with.

 

I like this post, because it really covers a whole gamut of potential reasons for why a given person may not present a "polished" appearance.

 

College students probably make up a good portion of the "offenders." I know I was totally into grunge clothing at that period of my life.

 

Though I drew the line at wearing pajamas and slippers to Walmart.

[nrg]

I have rather severe back issues. I must wear loose-fitting clothing and flat, sturdy shoes or suffer. This problem is not visible, so I probably look as if I don't care about whether my clothing is flattering. Oh, well, judge away.

[LibraryLover]

I

 

Funny story....

Back before the make up bothered me and I cared more for appearances than comfort I got all dolled up. I put on the makeup, the skin tight jeans and a classy shirt, but with cleavage showing. I paraded around the house but Dh was busy and didn't notice.

QUOTE]

 

 

LOL I have never done that! I have 12 years of breastfeeding in my past. There were days I didn't even wear a bra.

Edited August 13, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Aelwydd]

Thanks. This is my 3rd (and will be my last) HG pregnancy. It stinks.

 

And in 100+ temps, too. I feel that this should warrant hazard pay for you.

[Joker]

I agree. I do also agree that men and women enjoy each other when they are feeling good, clean, pretty & spiffy. It's fun to get dressed up sometimes. :) It's not the whole of life, but it's a bunch of fun to smell sweet and feel good. Little House in the Big Woods has the men & women dancing about having a grand old time, while the babies are all swaddled on the bed so they can't move and fall off. Laura loves the swaddled babies. :)

 

I'm not disagreeing that it's fun sometimes but that is not what I have felt these threads were about. I didn't get that they were about special occasions. It has seemed that they were more about everyday life and that's just not me.

[Aelwydd]

Yes! Some people do not even have water to drink and here you are flushing it away, plus killing trees while you do so.

 

It's worse than that. Somewhere, there's a farmer, who's too poor to buy fertilizer.

[LibraryLover]

I'm not disagreeing that it's fun sometimes but that is not what I have felt these threads were about. I didn't get that they were about special occasions. It has seemed that they were more about everyday life and that's just not me.

 

 

Maybe not. I don't know and didn't think about it.

 

The intention of the OP matters not to me. I answer as I wish, and people can process the info however they wish.

 

I do shower and dress daily. I flip my wet hair and mooosh curly mousse into it, then I flip it back to air dry. I also wear a bit of makeup daily. I don't care if you do. I wouldn't notice, nor would I care. I don't like to wear PJs all day if I am not ill, nor do I like to feel sweaty. Do I do this for the Safeway clerk? My dh? The CVS pharmacist? I think I can pretty muich say that I personally don't like to feel all greasy or sticky. I do think some people can look and feel good without daily grooming and I am jealous. I am not one of those folks. I also like feeling ready to roll. I like feeling clean and refreshed-- that makes me feel good. I never think of myself as a vain person, and I often find myself feeling grateful for being able to take daily showers. I know that is a luxury many people in the world do not have. When I shower, I am mindful that there are women in other parts of the world risking their lives to bring clean drinking water to their children.

Edited August 14, 2011 by LibraryLover

[KungFuPanda]

Can I also add that I love the Wow Factor that you can only get if you are unadorned most of the time. I know people who look lovely All. The. Time. However, on special occasions they look exactly the same as always, but in nicer clothes.

 

It's kind of fun when people see little ol' me dolled up for the first time. It's a TOTALLY different look. It's FUN to look different. It's like launching a little sneak attack and my husband certainly appreciates my versatility. :D

[AppleGreen]

Can I also add that I love the Wow Factor that you can only get if you are unadorned most of the time. I know people who look lovely All. The. Time. However, on special occasions they look exactly the same as always, but in nicer clothes.

 

It's kind of fun when people see little ol' me dolled up for the first time. It's a TOTALLY different look. It's FUN to look different. It's like launching a little sneak attack and my husband certainly appreciates my versatility. :D

 

This is so true! I went to an event with dh this spring (which never happens, events I mean) and I cleaned up quite well. My littles saw me and were quite surprised, as in, "Mama, you look so beautiful." It was just a nice black dress, fancy shoes and tad bit of make-up, but the WOW factor was fun!

[Aelwydd]

This is so true! I went to an event with dh this spring (which never happens, events I mean) and I cleaned up quite well. My littles saw me and were quite surprised, as in, "Mama, you look so beautiful." It was just a nice black dress, fancy shoes and tad bit of make-up, but the WOW factor was fun!

 

 

Same here. My only complaint is, when they all express their amazement, do they need to really appear so shocked?

 

Really. It's demoralizing. :glare: :tongue_smilie:

[sewingmama]

Maybe some women just have more self-confidence then others and don't need to do things with their appearance to make themselves feel good :D

 

My opinion is that people who don't do anything with their appearance just don't know any better. It's hard to apply make-up if you've never been taught - it's hard to be stylish if when you were a kid your mother dressed you in any old thing from Goodwill or Walmart and you never learned what looks nice. Some women wear the same hairstyle forever because they don't feel confident in being able to choose another style that would suit them -so they stick within their comfort zone.

 

Some women have husbands who love them whatever they look like :D

 

There are many people in the world with truely terrible disfigurements - burn victims, missing limbs, horrible diseases. Anyone who looks even halfway normal should not be spending their life focused completely on fashion and make-up and should just be grateful that their only worry is that they look "tired and washout without makeup" - just saying.

[OnTheBrink]

A few years ago a guest speaker at our church mentioned something about women and makeup. I can't remember what he was talking about, all I remember was he said "If the barn needs painting..." Appalled. Absolutely appalled. I think I look better and honestly a little prettier with makeup, but to expect women to do that because society thinks you should... Please.

 

OMGosh, our former associate pastor would make that same exact comment. I was appalled, too.

 

I get what you are saying, I think.

 

I'm low maintenance. I don't wear make-up. I don't like it. My husband doesn't like it. I've had the same simple hair style since I was 4yo. LOL. I don't care anything about fashion. I wear sensible jeans, sensible shirts, sensible shoes. You get the idea. I'd never in a million years get my nails done because I'm just going to go back home and dig in the garden. That said this is who my husband fell in love with; a simple country girl. I'm not ashamed of that and I really don't get women who feel they have to have make-up on before they step out the door. I'm comfortable in my own skin, wrinkles and all.

 

I didn't really think you were talking about me though (I hope), but rather those who appear not to have much self-respect. The "Walmart shopper" blog comes to mind. Modesty (as in wearing appropriate clothing) and hygiene are definitely valued by some more than others.

 

Cleanliness and modesty are very important values to our family. Make-up...not so much. ;)

 

:iagree:

 

Because sometimes we sink pretty low and outer appearance sinks low on the list of priorities. Depression, emotional problems, mental illness, huge stress, overwhelm- many things can make one not want to change out of pajamas or brush one's hair in the morning. I remember feeling like that a lot when my kids were babies and I didnt get enough sleep, especially when my marriage was rocky as well. Life can be hard even when there is still lots to be grateful for, and no matter how much money you have.

 

I do think many women think they don't care what they look like, when on some level they do, but they have sort of given up and said well if I cant look like I want to look I won't try at all. I have felt like that at times.

 

...

 

Its not vain to present well, and it can be a strange sort of reverse egoism to deny one's image, and downplay it, in the name of humility, but people are all at where they are at and its not really my business. It's just my business to accept people and love them anyway, as best I can.

 

:iagree: Personally, my appearance will suffer if I'm feeling overwhelmed, tired, depressed, stressed. I don't necessarily assume anyone who's sloppy feels as I do when I'm sloppy. In fact, I have one dear friend who does the opposite. When she's at her emotional worst, she's the best dressed. When she's feeling good, she's "regular": jeans, sandals, casual tops.

 

 

Though I drew the line at wearing pajamas and slippers to Walmart.

 

I can't stand seeing that. I see college girls shuffle around campus like that and I do wonder why they can't throw on a pair of jeans and a top. I don't expect college students to dress as if they're seeking an audience with the queen, but back in my day ;) wearing your pj's to class would get you ridiculed and possibly sent home.

 

Normally, though, I have way too much on my mind on any given day to spend time wondering why people look the way they do. Usually, the only time someone's appearance catches my eye is if they're super dressed up, or super sloppy (like, in PJ's and slippers), or grossly inappropriate (ie: People of Walmart).

 

I think I'm pretty low maintenance, but I do wear make-up and will either wear perfume or body spray. I can go from shower to out-the-door in half an hour, and that includes putting on make-up.

[LucyStoner]

I think that it is a class privilege to think that these things don't cost money or that $10 is not much. I am pretty comfortable now, but I grew up poor. Government cheese poor. When you make a low wage, even a little is a lot. For many $30-40 for haircut and makeup and a trip to goodwill is out of reach, period. It is the equivalent of me now spending $500 at a spa- sure it happens but not all that often.

 

I do not wear make-up. It looks preposterous on me. I do have great skin and skin tone but even if I did not, I would not start wearing make-up.

 

I don't think vanity is a horrible thing, but it can be a luxury.

[AppleGreen]

Same here. My only complaint is, when they all express their amazement, do they need to really appear so shocked?

 

Really. It's demoralizing. :glare: :tongue_smilie:

 

Well, there is that aspect. :tongue_smilie: My girls do get this sort of stunned look.

[LibraryLover]

Can I also add that I love the Wow Factor that you can only get if you are unadorned most of the time. I know people who look lovely All. The. Time. However, on special occasions they look exactly the same as always, but in nicer clothes.

 

 

:D

 

 

Maybe this sounds wrong, but that would make me uncomfortable. Too much attention, maybe? lol

Edited August 14, 2011 by LibraryLover

[twoxcell]

My dh does not like makeup so I haven't worn any for years. Not to mention the fact that I can't really afford it anyways.

[Bang!Zoom!]

"The Barn needs painting?"

 

Well, that's gonna stick with me the rest of my life.

 

My oldest daughter is a feminist, animal activist and environmentalist.

 

You really don't want to know what she'd have to say about this topic.

 

I really have to share that barn story with her though.

 

That was over the top.

[mommaduck]

I think that it is a class privilege to think that these things don't cost money or that $10 is not much. I am pretty comfortable now, but I grew up poor. Government cheese poor. When you make a low wage, even a little is a lot. For many $30-40 for haircut and makeup and a trip to goodwill is out of reach, period. It is the equivalent of me now spending $500 at a spa- sure it happens but not all that often.

 

I do not wear make-up. It looks preposterous on me. I do have great skin and skin tone but even if I did not, I would not start wearing make-up.

 

I don't think vanity is a horrible thing, but it can be a luxury.

 

Exactly. I don't remember the last time I stepped into a salon for myself. My husband shaves his own head. I cut my children's hair (I've actually gotten compliments on this...I owe it all to a couple of barbers that we had as neighbours teaching me a few tricks). Now, I actually spend $3 twice a year to dye my hair from a box at WM. I have twice taken my oldest two sons to a salon to have their hair professionally cut...one, because he has very different hair and was going to school. I wanted him to have that extra. Shoot, if only I had the kind of money to chuck away at a salon!

[MrsBasil]

Because I'm 7.5 months pregnant. My clothes don't fit anymore and I don't feel like dragging myself out in the heat, puking, to buy new ones for the barely 8 weeks that I have left. I've had Hyperemesis the whole time so I feel like cr@p most of the time and it's all I can do some days to just get out of my pjs and put on regular clothes. I don't normally wear much makeup, but I don't wear any now. It was 110 degrees today with the heat index and my face is already breaking out like crazy from all the pregnancy hormones so putting on makeup is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I have a short, feminine cut that I keep up for the most part so I guess I'm at least doing that right.

 

I'm sure people are thinking the same thing when they see me these days. :crying: And honestly that just makes me sad to think that people are judging me when they see me picking up my kids from camp or at the grocery store because I'm not "put together." It's not that I wouldn't like to feel better and look nicer. I just don't have it in me right now to do one. more. thing.

 

:leaving:

 

More :grouphug:. I get it

[LibraryLover]

More :grouphug:. I get it

 

I think pregnant women are so adorable!

 

I remember my dh carefully holding my hair back a couple of times as I heaved. I remember that care. It stays with you. :)

[kiana]

I don't wear makeup. Ever. I don't think I'd even know how to put it on. All I know is that lipstick goes on your lips and mascara is somewhere around your eyes. Foundation? What's that? For me, an extra $10 means that I can afford a book that I want to read.

 

My hair is always in a ponytail, and I've never been in a salon. Honestly if SO didn't beg me not to, I'd have gotten a buzz cut before now. I wash it at night and brush it, but I don't really do anything else with it.

 

I don't shave my legs. I do shave the pits in the summer because it reduces body odor, but in winter they tend to grow out.

 

I look nice in put-together outfits. I also have to think about what I'm putting on to wear them, so they get relegated to special occasions. I tend to get dressed in a hurry, so usually it's clean underwear out of the underwear basket, a clean shirt out of the shirt basket, and shorts/trousers from the bottoms basket. I have been known to take the first shirt and first pair of trousers off the top and be wearing a bright green shirt and bright blue pants all day without noticing.

 

I wear ugly shoes because other shoes make my feet, legs, and back hurt. I cannot stand even a slight heel and they must fasten securely (no flip flops.)

 

I guess people probably do look at me and say 'why doesn't she DO something with herself?' Well, that's why. I get an extra half an hour of sleep because I roll out of bed and I'm ready to go in ten minutes (counting breakfast which I make the night before.) I need that sleep. I suppose I could fix my hair and stop posting on message boards, but I don't *want* to. I just never felt the need. I don't stink. My clothes don't stink. My breath doesn't stink. I wear clean clothes, shower, put on deodorant and brush my teeth. Why isn't that enough?

[lewelma]

For me it is about making decisions. I make so many, I really don't care to make any more. I buy multiples of whatever I find that looks good, then I can wear the same thing every day. And I mean every day. I set is in the wash -- the other is on my body. I do own a few of different sweaters, because I find that people are uncomfortable if you wear the same thing for 6 months in a row. But all the layers underneath from bra, undies, jeans, socks, long jons, wool shirts, vests, are all the same. I have 4 different top layers for winter, and 4 for summer. I look good, just not variable. :001_smile:

 

And one more thing, I have strange feet and realized early on that I did not have the ability to wear normal shoes. My very wonderful mother told her insecure 18 year old, "Put a smile on your face, and no one is going to notice your shoes." I live by that adage.

 

Ruth in NZ

Edited August 12, 2011 by lewelma

[LibraryLover]

I saw the barn quote near the end, but I can't find the original quote. I am a feminist. I have a barn. I have a large garden and discolored nails (which a French manicure can hide at needed times lol) to prove it. I have hens and I raise meat birds.

 

I *just* cleaned my barn and painted my kitchen (walls and moldings!) Does having a barn, or doing hard work and sweating like crazy have anything to do with a person's occasional enjoyment of high heels, a nice dress and/or nail polish? I am trying to think of the oldest feminists I know.... Does Marlo Thomas wear makeup? (yes!) Does she have a barn? (not sure!) ;) Does Gloria Steinem wear skirts & blusher? (she does!)

 

:) Someone? It's totally unrelated, right? I can work like a dog on the property, put food in my freezer and still slap a little make up on when I want, and not wear sweats if I don't want to, right? lol Or are there barn-owning rules wrt appearance needs? If I am breaking all the barn rules, I want to know. lol

Edited August 14, 2011 by LibraryLover

[swellmomma]

I saw the barn quote near the end, but I can't find the original quote. I am a feminist. I have a barn. A big one. I have lots of animals. I have a big garden and discolored nails (which a french manicure can hide at needed times lol). I have hens, and I raise meat birds.

 

I just power washed my barn and painted my kitchen, so I am wondering what barns or hard work have to do with a person's appearance or their occasional enjoyment of high heels.

 

:) Someone?

 

 

It was based on a pastor making a comment about "If the barn door needs painting"

 

I am sure it goes along the same lines of something I read in an old 50s home ec book that said "even the barn looks good with a new coat of paint" it was in a chapter about keeping up appearances for your husband :001_smile: Funny I had just read that book last week cracking up at everything in there and this week the same conversation is here on the boards. I could have saved the 25 cents I paid for this book at the garage sale.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I saw the barn quote near the end, but I can't find the original quote. I am a feminist. I have a barn. A big one. I have lots of animals. I have a big garden and discolored nails (which a french manicure can hide at needed times lol). I have hens, and I raise meat birds.

 

I just power washed my barn and painted my kitchen, so I am wondering what barns or hard work have to do with a person's appearance or their occasional enjoyment of high heels.

 

:) Someone?

 

The barn is the woman's face. The paint is make-up. Fortunately my dh likes his barn au naturale.

 

In fact it is a bit of a joke with us that if I ask him what I should wear or how I should cut my hair, his standard answer is "Whatever you feel best in". It may be more pretty than comfortable or more comfortable than pretty, depending on the circumstances. But I am the one making the determination - not my dh and certainly not random strangers at the grocery store.