Desert Rat Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have a large life insurance policy on him. It's plenty to pay of the house and for me to stay home with the kids until 18. We make sure we have no debt (other than the house). I have all necessary policy numbers and important information on a piece of paper in the front of the filing cabinet. I don't like to think about it, but we did. And we made plans for both of us. We've discussed what he wants done with his body, organ donation, etc. I would continue the jobs I have now and keep homeschooling to keep everything as normal for the kids as possible. That life insurance policy will allow for us to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stages Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I would pack up all of our stuff, put whatever we need in storage, and move in with my mother. Once everything settled down, I would attempt night classes to get some sort of career training- hair cutting (worst case) or a two year nursing degree (best case). My mother would let us live there as long as we need to, but we don't get along very well (too similar). We have no assets, essentially. We're under thirty and DH is still in school, so that's not really surprising. The only debt we have is his student loans. DD is three, and there's a mystery baby due in April. It would be nearly impossible to deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Between our life insurance, assets, and debt-free lifestyle, neither of us *should* need to work again. Dh would quit working if I died, but I assume he would stay in the Air Force Reserves. He would try to homeschool, but I don't expect that he would be very good at it. :D I would stay here for a year or so until our lives normalize again. I wouldn't want to uproot my dc when their world was just turned upside down. That year+ would give me time to decide where I would move and time to look for housing. I would buy a house with cash and live frugally. We live far from family, so I would have to decide which family to move toward. Now that would be a tough choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jryanbass Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 For those of you who are going to use life insurance, what do you do in the meantime? Life Insurance payouts can take up to 12 weeks, depending on your state. You have to have a death certificate, and it varies from county to county and state to state. When FIL died we learned it even depends on time of YEAR. There are more deaths in certain times of the year and they get backed up. Plus don't forget you need aroun $20-$30k for a funeral. FIL's was basic, no frills, no flowers, buried on site, and it cost us $24k. That did include the plot though. Social Security can take as long OR longer than the life insurance to pay out. Everything you do after a spouses death depends on how fast the government moves in getting you the death certificate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 After 6 pages of confident sounding women with life insurance policies, i believe this is something we need. THANK YOU! If I lost my husband tomorrow I would end up living with my parents, working 2 jobs at the kfc and probably the dairy queen (not much else out there.) Plus in night school to get a 2 year degree as a dental assistant, or respitory thearpist or phsical therapist... not because thats what I want to do but because they are the fastest best paid degrees at the local community college. And DD would be public school in the same schools I was in which is the 1 thing I have wanted to avoid and a huge part of why we are homeschooling. Our school SUCKED. It would be a miserable concidering I don't get a long that great with my parents when we are under the same roof too long. (But God Bless them because I know they would take us in a heart beat.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I already have a career and work full time (and actually make more money than my dh). Plus we have life insurance policies. One thing my mother always stressed when I was growing up was to get an education so that I could support myself if something happened to my spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jryanbass Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 After 6 pages of confident sounding women with life insurance policies, i believe this is something we need. THANK YOU! If I lost my husband tomorrow I would end up living with my parents, working 2 jobs at the kfc and probably the dairy queen (not much else out there.) Plus in night school to get a 2 year degree as a dental assistant, or respitory thearpist or phsical therapist... not because thats what I want to do but because they are the fastest best paid degrees at the local community college. And DD would be public school in the same schools I was in which is the 1 thing I have wanted to avoid and a huge part of why we are homeschooling. Our school SUCKED. It would be a miserable concidering I don't get a long that great with my parents when we are under the same roof too long. (But God Bless them because I know they would take us in a heart beat.) But do most of these people have enough to wait until the life insurance kicks in? I know I don't. 3 months of income is hard to come up with these days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlamom2ansnm Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough life insurance on dh to pay off our home and live comfortable for years to come. DH is a smoker and I'm all too aware of what that means. I don't mess around with this :(. HOWEVER, I am a moron and don't have insurance on myself. That is my next step. Just a story for all of you to keep in your minds: A dear friend of mine, lost her healthy, happy husband at the age of 49. He had out-patient hernia surgery and died 4 days later. He had a large life insurance policy through AT&T, where he had worked since he was 18 years old. At the time that he began working there, he listed his mom as the beneficiary. Through that time he apparently never changed it. He then passed away with one daughter in college and the other in her senior year of high school. The MIL said she would split the life insurance policy 50/50 (which is ridiculous, but it was something at least). The money got the better of her and she ended up taking it all and leaving her recently widowed DIL and 2 grand daughters with NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Mind you, this is a supposed God loving woman who was very close with the family. There were NO ill feelings or family wars, and yet she did this. My friend has since lost both of their houses (one rental, and one gorgeous home that they lived in) and had to move into a small, rental home. Their older daughter quit school and started working. The younger daughter started at the local community college, instead of the private Christian school she was accepted to and looking forward to going to. The whole situation is horrible and it's a very good reminder that you just never know what will happen, so please make sure that all your i's are dotted and all your t's are crossed so that you don't end up in a circumstance that could have been prevented :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjins Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We also have substantial life insurance policies for both of us. Our children are educated so differently than public school children we have agreed that is JUST NOT an option, ever. Even their God parents, my sil and her husband, who do not have children of their own - would never send ANY children to public school. They have agreed to take on the education. Actually every year at the beginning of the school year I write a note to them about both children, their emotional, physical, social and academic development. As well as what sports they are currently doing. This letter is with all the records for the children and includes what materials we are using and how we are using them. These letters will only be read by them IF they needed to read them. I do believe I will share them with our children in the future because it shows the children how we saw them as they grew. For my husband there is more than enough to pay off the house, get therapy (not joking), and continue our way of life for 10 years. That said, it is likely that I would work out a situation to have a college student live with us, who could stay at home nights (sleeping time) while I worked outside the home. Work out a room and board situation. My policy is actually larger, because DH would continue their education, but need someone to take care of the children by day. He is military, so this could turn into an emergency care plan situation as well. Also, it is set for hiring a housekeeper once a week as well as other help around the house. Initially, I felt bad that he saw me as more valuable financially, but then I realized how grateful I was. So, if something happens to both of us, like I said sil and her husband get the children. They will continue their education. Currently both of our policies are set up to go to them if something happens to both of us. As the children age, we will set one up to be put into a trust fund for the two of them, but we are not there yet. This became heavy discussion in our house for two reasons. First 2003, War in Iraq. Second, my parents adopted children out of foster care, we signed paperwork that agreed to take these children if anything were to happen to my parents. This lead to discussions with them about what this would entail, how our lives and the children's lives would change as well as what we needed them to do to ease this type of transition. Being the oldest of 10 in a blended family, this actually took lots of work. Having worked out those details we were motivated to work out our own! Doing so has allowed for us to have a little piece of mind, however the dread of loosing a spouse does not go away even with a plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Many responders have said they have set enough aside or would have insurance enough to stay home until the kids are 18/out of the house... I'm a big fan of that, but I want to make you aware that it is *very hard* to get a job after you are 50 years old. Especially a well paying job. And especially if you have been out of the work force for a long time. I don't mean to chide anyone and I know that this is more or less true depending on skill sets and so on...but let me say it anyway. I have a number of friends who have been looking for work and the over-50s are having by FAR the worst time of it. It might be that it would be well to find a way to get skills sharpened while you are still at home, to start before the kids are out of the house or 18. We have life insurance enough the kids' and my living expenses if something happened to DH. I have run the numbers many times and, as long as I stay mortgage free, I should never need more than a part time job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? My father died when I was 12. dh's father died when he was 20. (and his mother couldn't save a dollar if her life depended upon it.) life insurance and investments. worse comes to worst, sell the house and move somewhere cheaper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 But do most of these people have enough to wait until the life insurance kicks in? I know I don't. 3 months of income is hard to come up with these days! Yes. Here's the thing though, we have a large family and my Dh's and my biggest fear is something happening and all of them being left with nothing. So, we have exceptional reasons. Dh would die ten thousand deaths if he thought his kids weren't provided for after his death (as I'm sure would most loving dads). He was brought up by a single, full-time working, frugal mother. They spend far below their means and they are savers. Total squirrels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough life insurance to be fine financially. We'd pay off our house, then put the balance in investments and live off the income. I'd work when ds starts college (he's in high school now) to help him pay for it and stay debt-free. I have an education degree and used to be a teacher. If teaching jobs weren't available, I'd look into something else. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I'd live on the massive insurance proceeds. Adequate insurance has been a basic budget item always. By the time the terms run up in another decade or two, the kids will be grown and financially independent, and we will have enough savings to easily support just one of us. Lord willing, he will live long enough for us to save enough for both of us to live well once he retire, but before then, we have enough insurance to cover me and the kids. I might work once the kids are all in college, but wont need to. Term insurance is very cheap if you are reasonably healthy. Disability is the expensive insurance, but we have a lot of that also. Fwiw, disability is a much higher risk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 For those of you who are going to use life insurance, what do you do in the meantime? Life Insurance payouts can take up to 12 weeks, depending on your state. You have to have a death certificate, and it varies from county to county and state to state. When FIL died we learned it even depends on time of YEAR. There are more deaths in certain times of the year and they get backed up. Plus don't forget you need aroun $20-$30k for a funeral. FIL's was basic, no frills, no flowers, buried on site, and it cost us $24k. That did include the plot though. Social Security can take as long OR longer than the life insurance to pay out. Everything you do after a spouses death depends on how fast the government moves in getting you the death certificate. We have enough in savings to cover three months. As far as the funeral goes, most people do not have the cash in hand because it occurs so quickly after death. Funeral homes will generally have you sign paperwork to the effect that they get so much from the insurance policy. That was my experience, and it seemed standard. I don't remember exactly, but I think the insurance company pays them directly, and you get the remaining amount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Life insurance and a bit of savings. I would buy a house- I would be fine. For me the point is more if my dh were to become unable to earn an income tomorrow, or left me (or I left him). That would be harder..I do not have enough work to support us or enough easy to market skills to get a job other than shop assistant at short notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Just a story for all of you to keep in your minds: A dear friend of mine, lost her healthy, happy husband at the age of 49. He had out-patient hernia surgery and died 4 days later. He had a large life insurance policy through AT&T, where he had worked since he was 18 years old. At the time that he began working there, he listed his mom as the beneficiary. Through that time he apparently never changed it. He then passed away with one daughter in college and the other in her senior year of high school. The MIL said she would split the life insurance policy 50/50 (which is ridiculous, but it was something at least). The money got the better of her and she ended up taking it all and leaving her recently widowed DIL and 2 grand daughters with NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Mind you, this is a supposed God loving woman who was very close with the family. There were NO ill feelings or family wars, and yet she did this. My friend has since lost both of their houses (one rental, and one gorgeous home that they lived in) and had to move into a small, rental home. Their older daughter quit school and started working. The younger daughter started at the local community college, instead of the private Christian school she was accepted to and looking forward to going to. The whole situation is horrible and it's a very good reminder that you just never know what will happen, so please make sure that all your i's are dotted and all your t's are crossed so that you don't end up in a circumstance that could have been prevented :( Yes. Its amazing how many people don't have up to date, appropriate wills. A friend died recently- in his late 50s. His 2 adult daughters....what a mess they have to clean up. He wrote no will, his finances were a mess. Fortunately they automatically get his money, but there are so many cases like the above one, where the people who should get the money, dont. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Yes. Its amazing how many people don't have up to date, appropriate wills. A friend died recently- in his late 50s. His 2 adult daughters....what a mess they have to clean up. He wrote no will, his finances were a mess. Fortunately they automatically get his money, but there are so many cases like the above one, where the people who should get the money, dont. Quote] So true. Our will is very specific. Our lawyer was rather impressed at how detailed we were as he drew it up. lol I started apologizing for these details, but he kept saying, "No! I wish more people knew what they wanted and specified it so carefully!" One shouldn't take chances! Edited August 12, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 If something happened to dh, we would be financially secure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Well, unfortunately, being a military family, this is something we think and talk about frequently (especially before he deploys). I know exactly what James Bond wants for his funeral, down to the music (this is a hard conversation to have, let me tell you). We also have military insurance, another huge insurance policy, several investments and I will get his retirement plus SS for me and the boys. His retirement and SS alone is actually more than he makes a month now. Honestly, with this, I can afford to stay home. I hope it never comes to this though. ETA: The Army requires JB to keep his will and my POA up to date. Edited August 12, 2011 by Mom in High Heels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Ignoring the emotional aspect of it, financially I would be secure. We have enough life insurance, social security, survivor's benefits, and investments that I could stay home and continue to homeschool, at least until my youngest graduates. I would probably stay in our current home since the mortgage is affordable, and we live close to many of dh's relatives and my church community, so we would have a lot of moral support. We do need to update our wills though! PP was asking about the interim between death and insurance pay out: if I didn't have enough in savings to cover the immediate expenses, I have at least a couple of relatives who would lend me the money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough life insurance that I think we'd be fine. I don't have any firm plans, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 But do most of these people have enough to wait until the life insurance kicks in? I know I don't. 3 months of income is hard to come up with these days! Yes, we have enough. We have our regular emergency and sinking funds plus whatever last paychecks dh would receive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 For those of you who are going to use life insurance, what do you do in the meantime? Life Insurance payouts can take up to 12 weeks, depending on your state. You have to have a death certificate, and it varies from county to county and state to state. When FIL died we learned it even depends on time of YEAR. There are more deaths in certain times of the year and they get backed up. Plus don't forget you need aroun $20-$30k for a funeral. FIL's was basic, no frills, no flowers, buried on site, and it cost us $24k. That did include the plot though. Social Security can take as long OR longer than the life insurance to pay out. Everything you do after a spouses death depends on how fast the government moves in getting you the death certificate. We do have savings and liquid accounts that would work in the interim. DH is self-employed, so having many months worth of living expenses in savings has been standard in our marriage. There have been times we have had no income for several months. We also have low obligatory payments, so we can live quite cheaply if it's desperate. We also have burial plots and a grave marker. Not really something I would have bought in advance, but when our baby died, we had to buy one for her, so we bought three together. We have enough in savings to cover three months. As far as the funeral goes, most people do not have the cash in hand because it occurs so quickly after death. Funeral homes will generally have you sign paperwork to the effect that they get so much from the insurance policy. That was my experience, and it seemed standard. I don't remember exactly, but I think the insurance company pays them directly, and you get the remaining amount. :iagree: Yes, I was going to say this. Funeral homes don't expect to be paid the Monday after the death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy2BaMom Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 A dear friend of mine, lost her healthy, happy husband at the age of 49. He had out-patient hernia surgery and died 4 days later. He had a large life insurance policy through AT&T, where he had worked since he was 18 years old. At the time that he began working there, he listed his mom as the beneficiary. Through that time he apparently never changed it. He then passed away with one daughter in college and the other in her senior year of high school. The MIL said she would split the life insurance policy 50/50 (which is ridiculous, but it was something at least). The money got the better of her and she ended up taking it all and leaving her recently widowed DIL and 2 grand daughters with NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Mind you, this is a supposed God loving woman who was very close with the family. There were NO ill feelings or family wars, and yet she did this. My friend has since lost both of their houses (one rental, and one gorgeous home that they lived in) and had to move into a small, rental home. Their older daughter quit school and started working. The younger daughter started at the local community college, instead of the private Christian school she was accepted to and looking forward to going to. My grandfather used to say that you can never truly know someone until: 1) You've seen the person in a position of power, and 2) you've seen the person in a position of controlling a lot of money. He said that much of what people consider to be virtue is actually just a lack of opportunity to do great wrong (or great right). I didn't used to pay attention much when he said this, but over the years I have really come to see the truth to it. Which brings me back to the point of "dotting the i's and crossing the t's" on your life insurance policies and wills. Dh & I have a lot of life insurance, so no problem financially if he dies, but I do worry about what would happen to our children if we both died (like in a car accident or something). I really am not comfortable with anyone on either side of our families raising my children. Sad, but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I already have a career and work full time (and actually make more money than my dh). Plus we have life insurance policies. One thing my mother always stressed when I was growing up was to get an education so that I could support myself if something happened to my spouse. This (except I work part time.) My mother taught me the same lesson. I would continue to work my part-time schedule and with DH's life insurance we would be fine until the kids were out of college. I would hope to stay in our house and keep as much of our routine the same as possible. We do need to update our wills, it's on my to-do list this fall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamajo Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Like Blessed2BAmom ..... we have a close friend who lost her husband and had 3 small children. She was (as still is) a stay at home mom. Her husband left enough life insurance and investments that her situation remained intact for 5 full years and probably indefinitely. She remarried a year ago at 41. She lost her husband around 35. This situation was a wake up call for me and DH who jokingly says he is worth more dead than alive. We maintained a lot of insurance and have a well drawn out will that includes who would take care of our kids if something should happen to the both of us. There is nothing like having a close to home experience that gets this conversation started and puts you into action with having a plan. My friend spoke to 3 different financial planners before deciding what to do with the $$ her DH left behind. She made some solid decisions. She would be the first person I called if something happened to my DH. Don't forget as my DH says... it is equally important to get insurance on you as a SAHM. He says that he would have to pay for childcare and summer camps and all the extra stuff that I do if I were to pass. However, my kids are approaching teenage years so its not as imperative as if they were younger. My kids can do laundry, and keep house pretty good and could work part-time (as teenagers) if need be to help DH with extras. It's hard to think about but it life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We also have life insurance. The life insurance would allow me some time to figure out what my next steps would be. If I didn't finish my degree yet, I would do so asap. If we still have debt to pay, I would use life insurance money to become debt-free. I would probably sell the house we're in. Then I would figure out were I want to live. I hope that with my degree (in languages) I would still be able to somehow homeschool my dc, but I would not be opposed to finding a private school for them if I was on my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have life insurance policies for each of us. Substantial enough to keep us pretty well. I would pay off our debt (mortgage/vehicles) and invest, living off that. I would likely stay here getting emotional support from our church family/friends, then after a year re-evaluate. My inclination is a move near my mom because I know 'before I know it' she is going to need assistance. But she's not going to move down here...unless she were already 'that bad off' and I dragged her down here. So, I figure I'd go ahead and move near her so I have (and can be) family support. I'd have some good talks with the kids though before making any move, see what they thought. I wouldn't want to cause further unnecessary turmoil for them. :) My church family/friends here are every bit (probably more so) helpful, loving and supportive as any blood family I'd be moving near. So it's not like I'd be here alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abacus2 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Life insurance and social security. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have a tidy sum of life insurance on him and I would be able to collect social security. Between the two, I would be able to reasonably keep going in a similar fashion to how we are now for several years, 7 or 8, minimum?? It is one of my biggest fears. I pray every morning and every night that my dh not be taken from me. I can't breathe even thinking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmommyof8 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Life insurance and social security. I would buy a house. I would keep homeschooling for now, with the idea that eventually I would go to work PT after they were all school aged. Honestly, I don't care about the finances as much as I care about life without him. It would be hard to keep going. The same for me. I'd be able to pay off our home and live comfortably for a while. I would eventually have to return to work once all kids were nearly grown. Life would be empty without him though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 This plus me doing more tutoring would be our plan. Same here. We have enough life insurance on dh & me that if either of us died tomorrow, there would be enough money to pay off the mortgage and all our other current indebtedness and still have enough to live on for some time. We have twice as much life insurance on dh as on me, since he is already working and would continue to do so, while I am a SAHM and would want to continue to homeschool until our youngest graduates (2 more years). Dh's company (he owns a small business and it is FINALLY in the black) could continue to operate, and I could draw some income from that. Also, I am currently teaching another child in addition to my own, as well as tutoring on the side. I would take on additional students and continue tutoring in order to have my own income. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 What would you do to support yourself and your children? Yes. Dh has enough life insurance that I would be able to pay off the house AND stay home with the kids until the youngest one is 18. Term life insurance is very cheap. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.MacGyver Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Well, unfortunately, being a military family, this is something we think and talk about frequently (especially before he deploys). I know exactly what James Bond wants for his funeral, down to the music (this is a hard conversation to have, let me tell you). We also have military insurance, another huge insurance policy, several investments and I will get his retirement plus SS for me and the boys. His retirement and SS alone is actually more than he makes a month now. Honestly, with this, I can afford to stay home. I hope it never comes to this though. ETA: The Army requires JB to keep his will and my POA up to date. This is us too. I am actually glad we have to have the conversation so often, and I am glad we have to keep everything up to date... wills, POA, plans if something happens to me while he is deployed, etc. We have lost way too many friends in both this and the last deployment, and I am so amazed at how strong and resilient these wives have been. Yes, emotionally, they are wrecks, but all of the hard conversations and the planning has allowed them to keep their lives together and move on in whatever way they need to for the sake of the children left behind. I can't imagine how hard it would be if they had not taken the time to plan it all out. Even if finances are really tough, it seems like it is best to at least have the conversation and try to put some sort of plan in place... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough life insurance on dh to pay off our home and live comfortable for years to come. DH is a smoker and I'm all too aware of what that means. I don't mess around with this :(. HOWEVER, I am a moron and don't have insurance on myself. That is my next step. Just a story for all of you to keep in your minds: A dear friend of mine, lost her healthy, happy husband at the age of 49. He had out-patient hernia surgery and died 4 days later. He had a large life insurance policy through AT&T, where he had worked since he was 18 years old. At the time that he began working there, he listed his mom as the beneficiary. Through that time he apparently never changed it. He then passed away with one daughter in college and the other in her senior year of high school. The MIL said she would split the life insurance policy 50/50 (which is ridiculous, but it was something at least). The money got the better of her and she ended up taking it all and leaving her recently widowed DIL and 2 grand daughters with NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Mind you, this is a supposed God loving woman who was very close with the family. There were NO ill feelings or family wars, and yet she did this. My friend has since lost both of their houses (one rental, and one gorgeous home that they lived in) and had to move into a small, rental home. Their older daughter quit school and started working. The younger daughter started at the local community college, instead of the private Christian school she was accepted to and looking forward to going to. The whole situation is horrible and it's a very good reminder that you just never know what will happen, so please make sure that all your i's are dotted and all your t's are crossed so that you don't end up in a circumstance that could have been prevented :( Is that even legal? I would have sued MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Nothing. His insurance would cover us and his portion of ownership in his company would give us income. Now if it were b/c of an accident-double the insurance and I would HSing in Hawaii-just kidding;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? When we were 35, we took out life insurance policies, at that time (term life) it meant the same as our cable bill, finances were tight tight, so we just canceled the cable...in a few years, we added it back when he began making more...but now, b/c we want to and see no value in it, we're cancelling it again!!! We'd rather put the money into gas driving all the kids everywhere! :) Between his insurance policy at work, and our term life, I can easily homeschool on my own/pay off mortgage and manage for about 10 years with no problem, after the kids all leave, I would most likely get job or start an at home career (editing, writing, horse lessons etc.) to earn extra money to help them all get through college. Our term life ends at age 65...so then, they're all on their own and I'll be figuring out what to do with my time! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I'd probably be up a creek. DH doesn't think we can afford life insurance right now. :glare: I'd have to get rid of as much stuff as possible and go move in with my mom. I'd get a full time job, probably at minimum wage, to offset the costs of us living there. I'd have to do independent college courses from BYU to earn my degree. I've told DH if I die, he's to go move with his parents. They have 40 acres of land and his mom homeschools his siblings. He can go to work with his father. I'm considering getting a part time job in the evenings or working from home so we can afford health and life insurance. We're just one lucky step away from disaster. Life insurance is really cheap when you are young. You are young right? :) My dh is 44 and we are in the process of getting some on him now. Just enough to pay off the house for now. I could get by on my cs if I had the house paid for. Of course there is the issue of supporting myself once cs ends, but for now that is all I've got. Basically I keep my expenses very low s othat I could live on very little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 He has a life insurance policy - not a huge amount, but enough. We have a couple rental properties that generate income. We would get a decent amount from Social Security until the kids are raised. I would be okay at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 There is substantial life insurance to get us over the initial shock. My children are 13-18, so there are still major expenses like college and orthodontia, but my working would no longer have to take into account child care. I have two degrees and a real estate license, but since I have been out of the job market for a few years, it would be some time if ever before I could make what my dh makes. I would definitely still go back to work. Unless the market completely crashes, the retirement fund would be there for the "golden," but lonely years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I honestly think you NEED life insurance. If you think you can't afford the premiums, think about how well you could live without your dh's income. Not to mention, a funeral alone will set you back $15,000 (and that is on the conservative side). You can purchase a term policy for a very reasonable amount of money these days. Other than the obvious reasons you stated for needing life insurance - I will give you another one. When our oldest ds passed away last year, he left us with a life insurance policy. Of course, something I never wanted or considered especially because this was from my child not my spouse. But... in those first 9 months where my dh and I barely functioned - we did not have to worry about unexpected expenses. Like a lot of you, we were living on a tight single income budget. Van taxes, broken air conditioner, etc. I could mindlessly fill out the check and mail it to whatever. Not that I blew through money - I certainly did not. But I didn't have that burden to carry when it was all I could to to keep on breathing. Made me realize just how important life insurance is above and beyond typical thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RahRah Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Is that even legal? I would have sued MIL. He never changed beneficiaries, so there is no cause to sue. MIL sucks for doing that, but legally wasn't *wrong* unfortunately. When DH and I drew up our wills, our attorney had us check every account - bank accounts, 401(k)'s, investments, etc. to make sure we had beneficiaries listed correctly so we wouldn't run into any problems if one of us died. Good thing we checked - on a small 401(k) DH started in residency, he'd listed his mom as beneficiary and didn't realize he'd never changed it (he thought he'd changed them all when we married) - it happens, it's easy to overlook a policy or account! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Life insurance is really cheap when you are young. You are young right? :) My dh is 44 and we are in the process of getting some on him now. Just enough to pay off the house for now. I could get by on my cs if I had the house paid for. Of course there is the issue of supporting myself once cs ends, but for now that is all I've got. Basically I keep my expenses very low s othat I could live on very little. Yes, we're pretty young. He's almost 30 and I'm 27. I got a quote from Xander insurance on the Dave Ramsey site and it said we could get $500K 30 yr policy for $50/month. When we looked into health insurance, it was $205/month for an HSA account with a $10K deductible (some things like vaccines were covered 100% before the deductible and once the deductible was met, everything was covered 100%. I know it's a super high deductible, but I figured we could use the HSA to pay for most everything and keep adding to it until we hit the $10K mark.) So I think if I went to work part time in the evenings and on Saturday, I would be able to cover it. We talked about it a little yesterday and it was a huge :banghead:. He said we can talk about it again today, he had a super bad migraine. I'm not expecting much better today though. He knows what Dave Ramsey says about it, he just doesn't consider it a need. He grew up where his parents couldn't afford it and had to pay cash for everything. :banghead: I better stop there before I get into spouse bashing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 DH has some life insurance, enough to pay off the house. I would probably sell the house for something smaller, less up-keep, and closer to family. I'd have offers to move in with family as well, which I'd need to consider. The idea would be to have some money left from the sale of the house, put it in the bank and live off the interest (house prices are still good here, and I'd consult an accountant for details). Then I'd try to get a work from home job (or 2 or 3) or an evening shift job. I'd try to continue with homeschooling. The job market is still pretty good here in Aus, I'm not worried about being able to find employment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
presley Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have no life insurance, no wills, no retirement, no savings, no funeral plan, no health insurance, almost $40K in credit card debt and a $230K mortgage. My dh is a lifelong smoker and 56 years old. We have a 6 year old daughter. To say we would be in a tough spot would be putting it mildly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I would pull back and live very frugally for a while, continuing to home educate my younger son. He has anxiety/depression issues and I'm afraid if something happened to my husband he would have major problems. My husband has various insurance policies, so I know that I would be okay for a while. As I went through several months, I'd see what my spending base was per month and try to figure out what I'd need in the way of a salary in order to maintain our lives. I might change to a smaller house if I felt I needed to do that (but moving has costs, too, and the size house we have now would allow our children to also come back and live here if they have jobs in this area after school - and we own it).... I would begin a job search based on how my son was coping and the type of job I thought I needed in order to maintain our lives.... If there's anything left of the stock market, I might sell off some investments if I thought I needed dollars to invest in a new career (like getting a master's degree, which everyone else in the world seems to have now).... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLVD Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I know what a horrible question. But seriously, someone asked this in another thread that I read the day before yesterday. When I saw that I started typing out a response and then stopped... I realized I don't have a REAL plan if my DH was to die TOMORROW. I have ideas for if he possibly died in say, 10 years because by then I would hope to have an education and be able to get a job easily (hopefully) but right now today? I got nothing. I would love to know that if something happened to my DH I would have a plan that would not only provide for me and DD but also one that would allow me to homeschool her still. So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? I was a single parent for 9 years. I worked, went to college, etc. I still work from home. If my SO were to pass, I would probably work an extra 10 hours a week but that's about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Yes, we're pretty young. He's almost 30 and I'm 27. I got a quote from Xander insurance on the Dave Ramsey site and it said we could get $500K 30 yr policy for $50/month. When we looked into health insurance, it was $205/month for an HSA account with a $10K deductible (some things like vaccines were covered 100% before the deductible and once the deductible was met, everything was covered 100%. I know it's a super high deductible, but I figured we could use the HSA to pay for most everything and keep adding to it until we hit the $10K mark.) So I think if I went to work part time in the evenings and on Saturday, I would be able to cover it. We talked about it a little yesterday and it was a huge :banghead:. He said we can talk about it again today, he had a super bad migraine. I'm not expecting much better today though. He knows what Dave Ramsey says about it, he just doesn't consider it a need. He grew up where his parents couldn't afford it and had to pay cash for everything. :banghead: I better stop there before I get into spouse bashing. I would look at less than 500K. And if you have to choose one--life or health insurance--choose life for now. Also is your dh self employed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Life Insurance! It cost $20 a month, and it is worth every penny! We have it on both of us, but my husband is worth more:) Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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