I'm not pregnant, I'm fat

[desertmum]

All right. I'll admit I've put on some weight. But maybe I could have handled things differently...

 

Oh, dear. Yesterday it was our ds 5th birthday. I got all dressed up and I wore a loose blouse to make sure I didn't get heatstroke. It is after all 47 degrees outside (Celsius) and I had a bout of heatstroke about a week ago.

 

I really need to look 10 kg. I am 60kg and I should be 50kg (I was 50kg when I got married). How much can I really loose? Realistically? Maybe 7 or 8kg. Anyway we went around this shopping centre. First thing I know a waitress is asking me if I'm pregnant. I chuckle and say, No, I'm not pregnant -just fat. This happened in front of my husband so it was a bit humiliating. Then later on to go on a glass bottom boat at the aquarium, the attendant takes one look at me "You can't go on this ride if you are pregnant..." I gave him the same response I gave the waitress. Again in front of my husband so now I felt truly embarrassed. Finally, inside the aquarium as I was about to leave, this girl runs up to me, "Excuse me, excuse, I really want you to have this!" It was a booklet for mums to be.

 

I turned around and nearly yelled at her. "I'm not pregnant. I am fat. Get it? NOT PREGNANT...FAT!!!" I don't even know if my husband saw this exchange because I ran out of the place at a full gallop.

 

OK, I get it. I need to loose weight. But I see plenty of fat people around me and I keep my comments to myself.

 

Now I feel guilty about shouting at the girl.:leaving:

Edited July 28, 2011 by desertmum

[Negin]

Don't feel guilty. :grouphug:

I wish I had shouted at some folks back when others said the same thing to me. :tongue_smilie:

Don't feel bad about your weight. :grouphug: If you want to lose and if you keep trying, you will. :grouphug:

But do remember, that clothes (like the loose blouse you wore) are a major factor also. I'm no longer obese or extremely overweight (I could still afford to lose several pounds), but if I wear loose clothes, I know I'll look bigger and bulkier. Clothes do a lot. If you can watching shows like "What Not to Wear" and "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style" or the fabulous book, "How to Never Look Fat Again" ... these will all help you. When it comes to clothes, think "form-fitting" etc. I know you'll think it's hot. I live in the tropics, so I know. But not all form-fitting clothes are hot.

Don't let any of this get to you. :grouphug:

[LaxMom]

I tend to agree; it's probably more do to with the top than your body. You know those cute, empire cut tops that you (I) think will hide that extra yardage of skin I have around the middle from having twins? Yeah, there is a *very* fine line between them camouflaging and looking like maternity clothes. ;)

[Cassy]

60 kg is NOT fat! Not for anyone. Depending on your height, curvy maybe. And don't worry about shouting, that kind of heat would turn me into a screaming banshee.

 

Take care

 

Cassy

[Negin]

60 kg is NOT fat! Not for anyone. Depending on your height, curvy maybe. And don't worry about shouting, that kind of heat would turn me into a screaming banshee.

Take care

Cassy

:iagree:

I have to always think about the whole kg business, still stuck on pounds ... I also agree about turning into a screaming banshee, although I'm more likely to do that in extreme cold :lol:. I despise the cold. My dh starts shouting obscenities if it's below 55 degrees. :lol:

[desertmum]

Hey, you are all so sweet. I'm 5'1" so definitely curvy! I have to say I used to be 64kg and lost 4kg already. I think all comments about me looking pregnant/fat in front of dh made me nervous. Imagine a man being told "wow, you are your bald, right?' and things like that in front of a woman might make him sweat under the collar. Talk about loosing your self-confidence.

 

MyCrazyHouse is right -it was of those cute empire cut tops. I love that top. Maybe not so much now... :tongue_smilie:

 

Now it was not 47 degrees inside the shopping centre but I felt sweat pouring down my back after the first two "pregnant" comments. And my cheeks were really burning after the third!

 

My tummy never went back to normal. I had a huge bump (all baby and hardly any water -ds was a big baby) followed by a c-section. I believe there is an girdle in the spandex shop with my name on it (sigh).

Edited July 28, 2011 by desertmum

[desertmum]

60 KG puts even a person who is 5ft 1 within the normal range. How is that fat?! :confused:

 

:confused1: I didn't think I looked that bad. Maybe it was the top... I must say that all the people making the comments were quite young. Maybe those girls are just used to seeing celebrities snap back to size 0 after a baby and assume we "lesser folk" should be able to do it too.

[Annie Laurie]

It was probably the top. I weigh about that and am the same height. I could do with losing a little weight too, it's hard to hide extra pounds when short, but I don't think I look fat. I even am carrying all that extra weight in my stomach, (can't seem to lose it while bfing and that is where I gained while pregnant apparently), and don't get asked if I'm pregnant, so it seems like you had an unfortunate run with a bunch of clueless people.

[lorrainejmc]

Same thing happened to me wearing a top like that. I am only 5'2" and even a carb loaded dinner can make my tummy stick out enough to look pregnant. I weigh about the same as you, maybe a couple of pounds more. According to the Wii, I am a healthy weight.:001_smile:

[Rebecca VA]

When my son was around two or three, and obsessed with machinery, he saw a pregnant lady and whispered, "Mom, her tummy looks like a cement mixer!" That has to be the ultimate insult, and at least no one said that about you!

[desertmum]

Same thing happened to me wearing a top like that. I am only 5'2" and even a carb loaded dinner can make my tummy stick out enough to look pregnant. I weigh about the same as you, maybe a couple of pounds more. According to the Wii, I am a healthy weight.:001_smile:

 

 

I could hug you right now for saying this. Yes, I had pasta for lunch (we were in a jungle theme restaurant which kiddies adore but everything on the menu was really expensive. I hate soup so I chose pasta which was ok price-wise). :blushing: Next time I will stick with mineral water. Maybe get different clothes and watch "What Not to Wear".

 

As Attachedto4 put it "an unfortunate run with a bunch of clueless people."

 

BTW, thank you all for your responses. What would I do with this forum?

[WishboneDawn]

I'm pregnant but for the longest tie it looked like I was just gaining more weight. I really wanted a T-Shirt that said something like, "I'm not fat, I'm...Okay, I AM fat but I'm still pregnant!" :001_smile:

[dsmama]

I have quite a pooch after several kids and c-sections. I've been reading about exercises to help. Do a search on "transverse abdominal exercises" and see what comes up. Women who were PG and had twins and/or c-sections are at higher risk for abs not going back to normal, and typical crunches may not help.

 

I've been doing the transverse ab exercises from the link below for a few weeks now. They are DIFFERENT and not easy -- which tells me these muscles need to get going.

 

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/topic_other_topics.html

 

HTH!

[Tree House Academy]

It had to be to top...especially if you don't usually get those kinds of comments. 60KG translates to 132 pounds for us metric system challenged folks and 5'1", 132 pounds is not big at all. :( I could only wish I weighed 132 pounds (I am 5'5" though).

 

I would take it with a grain of salt....and maybe burn the shirt. LOL

 

 

OH...ETA: This might make you feel better...haha. This past weekend, we went to this really nice resort. My husband played golf and I went to the spa for a pedi, facial, and massage. Well, my esthetician was a complete 5'9" BEANPOLE and as we were walking back to the facial room, she is yacking at me and says, "I am looking...(foreign accent here - she was from the Ukraine)...you can not have this facial if you are pregnant..." Here I was in a bath robe that was 3 sizes too big for me (spa attire courtesy of the spa attendant) having just had a massage to loosen every muscle in my body and she asks if I am pregnant. NICE! However, I shrugged it off to her being a twit and moved on. LOL

Edited July 28, 2011 by Tree House Academy

[LauraGB]

It had to be to top...especially if you don't usually get those kinds of comments. 60KG translates to 132 pounds for us metric system challenged folks and 5'1", 132 pounds is not big at all. :( I could only wish I weighed 132 pounds (I am 5'5" though).

 

I would take it with a grain of salt....and maybe burn the shirt. LOL

 

 

 

 

:iagree: I had to look up the conversion (before I saw THA's post) and can't see anyone taking it upon themselves to comment about being pregnant at that weight and height (or ever, really - how tacky!)! I hate those empire type shirts - they're made for tiny teenagers, I think. The design and cut are similar to maternity wear, so for most "women", they are pretty unflattering. Dump the shirt.

[JessReplanted]

3x in the same day tells me that it had to be the clothes you were wearing.

Sorry, that happened!! :tongue_smilie:

[jenn-]

For a lot of people empire waist shirt = pregnant woman. It sounds like you are a fairly healthy sized woman and just need to ditch the shirt. I have a few dressy tops that get me those "looks" as well, but luckily no one has actually made a comment.

[sassyscrapperinid]

All right. I'll admit I've put on some weight. But maybe I could have handled things differently...

 

Oh, dear. Yesterday it was our ds 5th birthday. I got all dressed up and I wore a loose blouse to make sure I didn't get heatstroke. It is after all 47 degrees outside (Celsius) and I had a bout of heatstroke about a week ago.

 

I really need to look 10 kg. I am 60kg and I should be 50kg (I was 50kg when I got married). How much can I really loose? Realistically? Maybe 7 or 8kg. Anyway we went around this shopping centre. First thing I know a waitress is asking me if I'm pregnant. I chuckle and say, No, I'm not pregnant -just fat. This happened in front of my husband so it was a bit humiliating. Then later on to go on a glass bottom boat at the aquarium, the attendant takes one look at me "You can't go on this ride if you are pregnant..." I gave him the same response I gave the waitress. Again in front of my husband so now I felt truly embarrassed. Finally, inside the aquarium as I was about to leave, this girl runs up to me, "Excuse me, excuse, I really want you to have this!" It was a booklet for mums to be.

 

I turned around and nearly yelled at her. "I'm not pregnant. I am fat. Get it? NOT PREGNANT...FAT!!!" I don't even know if my husband saw this exchange because I ran out of the place at a full gallop.

 

OK, I get it. I need to loose weight. But I see plenty of fat people around me and I keep my comments to myself.

 

Now I feel guilty about shouting at the girl.:leaving:

 

 

I will agree with the other posters and say 60kg is NOT fat!!! I am 5ft 3in and that is my goal weight! I recently lost 10 pounds and man is it hard! But I just wanted to join in and say you are definitely not fat. Baggy clothes do tend to make us look bigger. Being asked 3 times in one day if you are pg when youre not certainly would shake anyone up though. :grouphug:

[Evergreen State Sue]

I'm sure it was the top you were wearing. I love those loose tops, but now that I'm overweight I have to avoid them for this very reason. Many years ago when I was trying to get pregnant (but was only getting fat) I had a bus driver say to me "take care of that little one" as I was leaving the bus. I just ignored him as it took me off guard. When he said it a few days later, I had to tell him I wasn't pregnant. That hurt so bad knowing I really wanted to be. Ever since then I never say anything to anyone unless it is somebody I absolutely know who is pregnant.

[PinkInTheBlue]

It really was the top. I'm 5'4" and about 106. Those tops make me look pregnant and (thankfully) I don't even have any abdominal issues post-pregnancy. I think even teens look pregnant in those tops in spite of the fact I think they are adorable.

 

132lb/60kg at 5'1" might not be what you feel is your ideal weight but it wouldn't generate this many comments in one day without there being something to make it that way.

 

It was just the top. :)

[joannqn]

Yeah, it is the top. I have a funny story about an empire waist dress.

 

 

Recently, DD and I were shopping. She and I have very different tastes, especially since she's a cute, thin 11 year old just starting to get curves, and I'm an overweight mom who carries her mid-section weight out front. She didn't understand how hard it was for me to find clothes that are comfortable and look decent on me. She thought I was just being overly picky. She specifically thought we should find clothes for each other to try on. I immediately took her up on it, and she chose an empire waist, sleeveless dress for me to try on. It made me look not just pregnant but 9 months pregnant. To make it worse, I'm very large busted, so the waist line was more across the lower part of my bust rather than below it. She was appalled when she saw how bad it looks and now understands my clothing dilemma.

[DarlaS]

For a lot of people empire waist shirt = pregnant woman. It sounds like you are a fairly healthy sized woman and just need to ditch the shirt. I have a few dressy tops that get me those "looks" as well, but luckily no one has actually made a comment.

 

This is the reason I've never bought one. I can't understand why something that looks like maternity clothes is anything anyone would want to wear while NOT pregnant.

 

Someone would be bound to say something. Banish that top! :lol:

[DarlaS]

Ever since then I never say anything to anyone unless it is somebody I absolutely know who is pregnant.

 

Good policy.

[UnsinkableKristen]

What a cluster of suck. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

Burn the top and enjoy your perfectly sized body :)

[redsquirrel]

I always follow Dave Barry's rule: You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

 

Given your weight and height, you are within normal parameters. So, you may feel comfortable at a slightly lower weight but you are not overweight.

 

Those empire waist tops really do look like maternity tops. I always wanted to wear one when not pg, but they make me look, well, pg! I did indulge when I was actually pregnant.

 

And yes, if your ab muscles never recovered, you should look into it. There are ways to help. It could lead to back pain etc later in life. After a back injury, I have learned that a healthy back and strong abs are one of the keys to a happy middle age. I don't want to be doddering before my time!

[desertmum]

Don't feel guilty. :grouphug:

I wish I had shouted at some folks back when others said the same thing to me. :tongue_smilie:

Don't feel bad about your weight. :grouphug: If you want to lose and if you keep trying, you will. :grouphug:

But do remember, that clothes (like the loose blouse you wore) are a major factor also. I'm no longer obese or extremely overweight (I could still afford to lose several pounds), but if I wear loose clothes, I know I'll look bigger and bulkier. Clothes do a lot. If you can watching shows like "What Not to Wear" and "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style" or the fabulous book, "How to Never Look Fat Again" ... these will all help you. When it comes to clothes, think "form-fitting" etc. I know you'll think it's hot. I live in the tropics, so I know. But not all form-fitting clothes are hot.

Don't let any of this get to you. :grouphug:

I hear you!

 

I'm pregnant but for the longest tie it looked like I was just gaining more weight. I really wanted a T-Shirt that said something like, "I'm not fat, I'm...Okay, I AM fat but I'm still pregnant!" :001_smile:

I remember I was that too. My tummy was flatter then though!

 

I have quite a pooch after several kids and c-sections. I've been reading about exercises to help. Do a search on "transverse abdominal exercises" and see what comes up. Women who were PG and had twins and/or c-sections are at higher risk for abs not going back to normal, and typical crunches may not help.

 

I've been doing the transverse ab exercises from the link below for a few weeks now. They are DIFFERENT and not easy -- which tells me these muscles need to get going.

 

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/topic_other_topics.html

 

HTH!

I will definitely check this out. God knows I have tried crunches and they don't work for me.

[desertmum]

AND I'm ditching the top! (well, it will go to the local charity shop. There might someone out there who IS pregnant and in need of a pretty top).;)

[lorrainejmc]

AND I'm ditching the top! (well, it will go to the local charity shop. There might someone out there who IS pregnant and in need of a pretty top).;)

 

:party:

[Jeannie in NJ]

after a couple of times of dh mentioning to women who dh said he was pretty positive they were pregnant but turned out they weren't, he said that now a woman would have to be giving birth in front of him before he will ever again assume she is pregnaant.

 

when my neices look pregnant, dh will ask his sister if the neices are pregnant. before he will say anything to them(5 babies between the two )

[LisainOhio]

My neighbor wears a lot of those types of tops and people are always asking her when she's due. She's not a big gal at all but those tops are not flattering on her.

 

I worked at a grocery store when I was in college and asked a customer when she was due. She snarled at me and shouted "my baby is 6 weeks old". I felt awful. Since then my policy is that I don't ask about pregnancy unless the baby is crowning at that very moment.

[Soror]

Those tops are awful, I avoid the like the plague as well.

[Outdoorsy Type]

I'm a teeny bit taller and heavier than you, and I agree that those shirts make short gals look pregnant!

 

I have a short torso with most of my weight in my stomach. My arms and legs while not stick thin, look *much* smaller. If I wear an empire waist shirt or any shirt that is loose through my middle I look very pregnant.

 

I have been asked when I was due more than once while wearing that kind of shirt. Stinks, too, because I detest shirts that are too tight and my shoulders are very small so large shirts have the shoulders near my elbows. :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, I really am fat and all my weight is in my tummy. I had to have an x-ray awhile ago and at first the x-ray technician refused to take the x-ray. He kept asking me if I was pregnant and refused to believe my "no" answer. I finally told him exactly what you said "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." It really ticked me off that he wouldn't believe me. Don't you think I would want him to know?

[jenniferlee]

it is the top! I am 5'8'' 130 lbs. fairly thin. I wore one of those tops, empire waist kind of floaty in the belly area and my dh said, hey that reminds me of when you were pregnant...

needless, to say, I changed right away.

[Alicia64]

I haven't read the thread -- just your post.

 

When I was in my 20's and "pleasingly plump" I was wearing a coat. A man made a comment about my being pregnant and look horrified when I said I wasn't.

 

I wasn't upset in the least. I realized it was the way the coat was cut. Period.

 

I really think you should just take a closer look at the top you were wearing.

 

Alley

[HeidiKC]

At my husband's 10th class reunion one of the girls there was very thin, but was wearing an Empire-waist dress. I thought she looked adorable and wouldn't have thought for a second that she was pregnant. I guess some people aren't aware that that is a style non-pregnant people wear! One of the guys patted her stomach (!!!) and told her "congratulations". And then sat at the bar drinking the rest of the night after she told him she wasn't pregnant!

 

So...I also think it must have been your top!

[WishboneDawn]

This is the reason I've never bought one. I can't understand why something that looks like maternity clothes is anything anyone would want to wear while NOT pregnant.

 

Someone would be bound to say something. Banish that top! :lol:

 

Thank you. I am fat and go shopping in plus size stores. I NEVER understnad why they're filled with empire waist shirts either for the same reason. Give me a smart button down blouse ANY day.

 

I do have some empire waist shirts now but I just bought them yesterday in a maternity store because, of course, I'm pregnant.

[Night Elf]

I have an apple shape. My weight gain is in my stomach. I look pregnant even nude. It's horrible! So I like to wear big shirts that hang down. I think form-fitting looks gross. I wear men's solid t-shirts because my choices in women's wear are severely limited. There are the form-fitting shirts or plus-sized shirts that do look like maternity clothes. And what the heck is up with the colors of those plus-sized shirts? It seems all I can find are large floral prints or very loud colors. Egads!

[zaichiki]

:confused1: I didn't think I looked that bad. Maybe it was the top... I must say that all the people making the comments were quite young. Maybe those girls are just used to seeing celebrities snap back to size 0 after a baby and assume we "lesser folk" should be able to do it too.

 

It was the top (and I didn't even see it).

 

About 5 years ago, at a family party, my dh assumed my cousin's (very thin, very petite -- probably about a size 0 or 2) wife was pregnant. It was a maternity-styled blouse that was very trendy at the time. (My cousin's wife dresses very fashionably/trendy.) Poor dh: *I* was pregnant at the time, so he felt completely confident that he recognized maternity clothes. Thankfully, he congratulated my *cousin* and not my cousin's wife. Cousin was able to let dh know there was no pregnancy *gently* which saved dh embarrassment. Of *course* cousin's wife would have been mortified to have been assumed pregnant, even though she didn't look it AT ALL later that day in her bikini. :lol:

[zaichiki]

When my son was around two or three, and obsessed with machinery, he saw a pregnant lady and whispered, "Mom, her tummy looks like a cement mixer!" That has to be the ultimate insult, and at least no one said that about you!

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[rocketgirl]

I was due 3 years ago... thank goodness noone's said anything... Good luck, I'm trying wii, trying to count calories, thinking about dusting off my awesome bike...

[teamturner]

Burn that blouse! Seriously.

 

Some things just don't flatter. I know that i have a belly after all my dc (including twins) and I often get asked if I'm pregnant. You are better off wearing more form fitting clothes than loose ones.

 

Not doing the math and I have no idea how much you weigh so that is not going into my thinking at all. :tongue_smilie:

[Retired]

the blouse the blouse the blouse:D

 

see its going to a charity

 

when the style became so popular I went forever before purchasing one cause they reminded me of my mid 1990's maternity clothes

 

well after shopping and never finding any other summer top I bought one and my dh said I look pregnant:lol:

 

I am just wondering what clothes designers were thinking.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

For so many people to say that, I would think it was probably the top you were wearing. :grouphug:

[sgilli3]

All right. I'll admit I've put on some weight. But maybe I could have handled things differently...

 

Oh, dear. Yesterday it was our ds 5th birthday. I got all dressed up and I wore a loose blouse to make sure I didn't get heatstroke. It is after all 47 degrees outside (Celsius) and I had a bout of heatstroke about a week ago.

 

I really need to look 10 kg. I am 60kg and I should be 50kg (I was 50kg when I got married). How much can I really loose? Realistically? Maybe 7 or 8kg. Anyway we went around this shopping centre. First thing I know a waitress is asking me if I'm pregnant. I chuckle and say, No, I'm not pregnant -just fat. This happened in front of my husband so it was a bit humiliating. Then later on to go on a glass bottom boat at the aquarium, the attendant takes one look at me "You can't go on this ride if you are pregnant..." I gave him the same response I gave the waitress. Again in front of my husband so now I felt truly embarrassed. Finally, inside the aquarium as I was about to leave, this girl runs up to me, "Excuse me, excuse, I really want you to have this!" It was a booklet for mums to be.

 

I turned around and nearly yelled at her. "I'm not pregnant. I am fat. Get it? NOT PREGNANT...FAT!!!" I don't even know if my husband saw this exchange because I ran out of the place at a full gallop.

 

OK, I get it. I need to loose weight. But I see plenty of fat people around me and I keep my comments to myself.

 

Now I feel guilty about shouting at the girl.:leaving:

 

 

As some one who returned to Oz last year after living in the Gulf for years, I think a big part of it is lack of forethought from a lot of the staff/shop assistants etc.

 

Many a time I was asked if I was pregnant ( and was never asked when clearly I was), and I even recall window shopping one day in one of the malls, and a shop assistant came out and said," We do big ladies shoes for you in here":rofl: .....which wouldn't bother me- except I am a ladies 7!

So, not only was my body pregnant looking- I also had big feet apparently!

Luckily, I have a sense of humour- otherwise I may have harmed someone years ago!

[Starr]

I wish I looked young enough that someone thought I was pregnant. :D

[amyrjoy]

Well, I really am fat and all my weight is in my tummy. I had to have an x-ray awhile ago and at first the x-ray technician refused to take the x-ray. He kept asking me if I was pregnant and refused to believe my "no" answer. I finally told him exactly what you said "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." It really ticked me off that he wouldn't believe me. Don't you think I would want him to know?

 

I. Know. How. You. Feel. I had someone argue with me about me being pregnant. She wouldn't let my no be no. I was mortified. She kept saying, yes you are! I mean, seriously, lady??!! :confused:

 

I've been asked several times. It's a terrible thing to ask someone. :tongue_smilie:

[gaillardia]

I'm jumping on the bandwagon too, but in our defense I must say it's not just all fat. Loss of muscle tone, including a larger-than-before-kids uterus, we have to give that at least a third of the credit for making us look pregnant when we haven't had a child in more than three years.

 

I don't think form-fitting clothing helps the issue at all!

[ChristusG]

I have NEVER understood why those empire waist shirts are so popular. My 17 year old sister wore them a lot for a while. When I see them, it just screams pregnant to me. I won't touch them with a 10 foot pole when not pregnant LOL.

 

I'm sorry you had a rough day! Glad you are ditching the shirt LOL!

[Peela]

YOu must be very short and fine boned, because I am 5'2" and just under 60kgs and I don't think I am fat at all- I am a healthy weight and not at the top end of my healthy weight range. In my late teens and twenties I was about 53kgs- I am 44 and feel ok weighing more than I did back then. I definitely don't look pregnant.

SOunds like you need to do something to feel better about yourself- some exercise, some new clothes- but also, go easy on yourself.