Would *you* continue attending our homeschool group?

[ChristusG]

I'm wondering if I should continue attending our weekly homeschool group or not. It's currently on break for the summer (has been since late May) and will resume right after Labor Day. Here's the facts:

 

**It's at a fantastic place. It's actually a kid's place that offers TONS of classes, has a play area, outdoor area, etc. It's quite pricey though. Each Wednesday we have homeschool group. It's run by the organization so they provide teachers. It's from 10 AM - 2 PM. This takes up a day of our schooling, as by the time we get home it's usually 2:30 and I like to have a bit of rest time before leaving for church at 5.

 

**As I said, it takes up a day of our schooling. The kids attend classes there, but they are nothing substantial. They have a "book club" class where the teacher just reads them a few books and they usually make a craft or picture to go along with that book. In science they may learn about the life cycle of a butterfly. So it's taking up a day of schooling, but nothing they are learning goes along with our curriculum at home, and it's really "easy" stuff that they do at the group.

 

**Since the learning is sort of "fluff", I view the homeschool group as basically just a social outlet....a chance for DD to be in a group with other kids, to have parties, to do a gift exchange at Christmas time, to exchange Valentines with, to play group games with, and to attend field trips with.

 

**DD7 talks to NO ONE there. This is not unusual....she doesn't talk at church either (she's extremely shy around those she does not know very well). She participates in all games, activities, even show and tell....she just doesn't say a word to a soul. So while this group is a chance for her to be around other children, she does not interact with them.

 

**DD says that she enjoys the group.

 

**In October (very soon after the group starts back), I'll have a newborn. Not sure how trying to get a 7 year old to homeschool group each week, while trying to wrangle a 4 year old, and take care of a newborn is going to jive.

 

**I use the hours that DD is at homeschool group to run errands. It's nice to have that time to run errands and only have to do it with one kid. However, it won't be so easy come the fall and I'll be adding a baby into the mix.

 

 

I'm really torn about what to do. I like the group, like the leaders, and really love that DD can exchange Valentines, have a Christmas party, play Duck, Duck, Goose....you know, things she couldn't do without having a group. But it's expensive, I'll have a newborn, and it does take up a day of schooling because I don't consider any class during homeschool group to be beneficial to her learning.

 

So what would *you* do in my situation?

[Annie G]

I'd bow out for this year, using the newborn as your excuse. Spend some time this year looking for a few other ways for your dd to 'get out'. Is there an art class, science museum class, or something else out there she might like? Perhaps a set of swimming lessons at the Y? Try out several things this year- one at a time, of course!

 

One year of not exchanging Valentines won't ruin her, and you can enjoy adjusting to the new baby. Next year, decide whether you missed it or if you want to try again.

 

Have a great school year- that third kid was the one that threw my whole routine off.

[Murphy101]

NO

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

I'd bow out for this year, using the newborn as your excuse. Spend some time this year looking for a few other ways for your dd to 'get out'. Is there an art class, science museum class, or something else out there she might like? Perhaps a set of swimming lessons at the Y? Try out several things this year- one at a time, of course!

 

One year of not exchanging Valentines won't ruin her, and you can enjoy adjusting to the new baby. Next year, decide whether you missed it or if you want to try again.

 

Have a great school year- that third kid was the one that threw my whole routine off.

I agree. I also think there is a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference between 2 kids and 3 kids. Its like crossing into another universe:D

[SonshineLearner]

How much is "expensive"? Do they start getting more academic later? Do they want to keep going? Here we have a lot of classes, but not many for a fee where you get to drop them off ;)

[ChristusG]

NO

 

I'm sorry...what was that? I couldn't hear you. :lol:

 

You guys are freaking me out about the third kid LOL!

[Margo out of lurking]

a chance for DD to be in a group with other kids, to have parties, to do a gift exchange at Christmas time, to exchange Valentines with, to play group games with, and to attend field trips with.

 

**DD7 talks to NO ONE there. This is not unusual....she doesn't talk at church either (she's extremely shy around those she does not know very well). She participates in all games, activities, even show and tell....she just doesn't say a word to a soul. So while this group is a chance for her to be around other children, she does not interact with them.

 

**DD says that she enjoys the group.

 

 

I would because of these reasons. Yes, it'd be nice if it were more academic, but your dd's 7. She likes it. She's very, very quiet. It sounds very comfortable for her.

 

My dd is 16 and is still very much the same way. She's really stepped out a LOT this year, choosing a lot of big activities that take her way out of her comfort zone. She is not a talker. She enjoys herself. (She's leaving on a 10 day missions trip to Peru tomorrow with a group she barely knows.)

 

This is the perfect age for your dd to be in the kind of laid back, fun group she's in. Take advantage of it while you can!

[sassenach]

As the mom of a shy guy, I think social outlets are important. I have seen a ton of growth in my son by consistently putting him in social situations. It's slow, but steady (and important, imo). If you don't do the group, does she have other social outlets? I know it doesn't seem like she needs them, but I think just having the exposure is a good thing.

 

Could you just take the semester off?

[sassenach]

I'm sorry...what was that? I couldn't hear you. :lol:

 

You guys are freaking me out about the third kid LOL!

 

Adding my 3rd into the fold was really easy. Don't be afraid! It's number 4 that you have to watch out for...

[2squared]

Where do you live? I had an October baby last year, and I live in the middle of nowhere rural MN. There was NO way I would haul around baby + others in our winters unless absolutely necessary.

[2squared]

Adding my 3rd into the fold was really easy. Don't be afraid! It's number 4 that you have to watch out for...

 

:lol: #4 was much harder for us too.

 

#5 has been relatively easy-peasy, so there's something to look forward to!!!

[ChristusG]

Expensive is around $130 per month for both of my kids together (newborn will not be charged). Children cannot enter the premises without being a paying member, so I have to pay for my younger child too.

 

However, with this fee, we can take ANY amount of classes that we want. I could have my kids in 3 dance classes, sports movement, cooking, and a science class, etc. These are all in addition to the actual homeschool group that runs on Wednesdays. These other classes occur in the afternoons at various times during the week so that public schooled kids can take them too. But like I said, none of these classes are of any substance. And I really don't have time to take them to a bunch of classes. For example, I signed my DD up for the cooking class last year. We attended for a while, but they never did any actual cooking. They'd usually always make some sort of simple dessert and it always consisted of just doing something like adding frosting to a cookie or something like that.

 

As for another outlet, we attend church on Sundays and Wednesdays and DD always goes into her class. She used to play soccer when she was four, but doesn't want to do that anymore. She also took ballet when she was four, but doesn't want to do that anymore either. She's really very content to be home with her little sister, pretending and coloring together. She did mention something about ballet again....but I'll have to see. Sometimes she can be wishy washy about things like that.

 

I *could* take the first part of the year off. I'd have to put my account on "hold" so that they would not charge me the $130 each month. If I cancel my account totally, I would have to pay a re-enrollment fee and I risk the fees going up. I'm locked into my price per month right now. It costs like $10 a month to hold my place, I think. So that's an option too.

[Murphy101]

I'm sorry...what was that? I couldn't hear you. :lol:

 

You guys are freaking me out about the third kid LOL!

 

From that point on adding one more is no problem. ;)

Personally #5 was our big adjustment baby. First girl. And the reality of having more dc than hands even when dh was home was a big deal for me.

'Course NOW it takes me a minute to remember what it's like to only have five kids under 7.

 

:)

[teamturner]

As for the classes being easy, since she is only 7 yo I wouldn't worry too much about that. Having a 4 day school week plus a fun day is totally fine for her age. You may end up in the future needing something a little more indepth.

 

Your other reasons are pretty valid though. Having some time off for the baby is something to consider.

[ChristusG]

Where do you live? I had an October baby last year, and I live in the middle of nowhere rural MN. There was NO way I would haul around baby + others in our winters unless absolutely necessary.

 

I'm down here in Florida....the land of constant summers. :D

[Haiku]

I would ask dd, and if she has an opinion, I would try to honor it.

 

I don't know what her friend situation is, but keep in mind that as she gets older, the need/desire for friends will get stronger, and you will probably be glad you stuck with a group.

 

Tara

[meggie]

As the mom of a shy guy, I think social outlets are important. I have seen a ton of growth in my son by consistently putting him in social situations. It's slow, but steady (and important, imo). If you don't do the group, does she have other social outlets? I know it doesn't seem like she needs them, but I think just having the exposure is a good thing.

 

Could you just take the semester off?

:iagree: Shy people will usually warm up, it just takes longer (a LOT longer). If it were my son and he liked it and it was his biggest social outlet, I would keep going with him.

 

And don't let anyone scare you about child #3. In my experience, the "ease" of adding a new baby to the mix is so totally dependent on that new child's personality. (I suppose my experience is kinda limited, since I only have 3). So for me, child #3 was the easiest, because I had enough experience to know what I was doing, unlike with child #1 and she was a much better sleeper and so easy going, unlike child #2. And there's absolutely no way of knowing that ahead of time. Looking back on my blog entries from when I was expecting (my private blog, not the one in my sig), oh my heck, in my third trimester I was absolutely certain I would die once child #3 came along. It's almost laughable how worried I was because it was so unfounded.

 

Good luck, it'll be ok.

[BakersDozen]

This is the perfect age for your dd to be in the kind of laid back, fun group she's in. Take advantage of it while you can!

:iagree: I would keep my dd in as long as possible because right now taking a day off of school really isn't a big deal. Soon, though, it will be a huge deal (which is why we haven't attended homeschool meetings - even monthly ones - in a few years). I would love the break and the time to be with my other dc, too.

 

My .02 about having #3: It was a challenge but my other 2 dc were 2 and 1. With the age of OP's dc I bet she will find it much easier than anticipated simply because at 7 and 4yo they are more independent and helpful (hopefully!). Hope things go smoothly for you! I also found things to be easy peasy with every baby after #3. :) (hope I didn't just set myeslf up for a huge shock come October...)

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

I'm down here in Florida....the land of constant summers. :D

Awww my home state. That is the perfect time to have a baby in FL. When DD was a baby, DS1 was in K at school. It was really tough to be out so much with an infant. It was also really tough for me to homeschool this year with her as a toddler. It would have been a lot easier if I'd been able to home more the year she was an infant and out more the year she was a toddler.

 

The adjustments really do differ from family to family. I had a friend with 7 grown kids. She said the hardest adjustment was the 3rd but after that she just herded them along.:lol: Three has proved to be so tough for us that we really lack the energy to find out what 4 would be like.

[silliness7]

If it's not breaking the bank, I would keep it. It sounds like fun and that is good for morale.

 

I think you'll be o.k. with a newborn. You might need help the first few weeks. Maybe another mom wouldn't mind picking up or dropping off or doing both for you. But after a while you will probably be able to fit it into your routine and be glad for some down time with your youngers.

 

We school 4 days a week (math and reading only on the 5th day) Our off day is Wed. as well. I like the rhythm that gives to the week.

[SonshineLearner]

I would keep with it for $130 a month for 2 kids. I think it's a good price, and would try to get them to ballet/dance classes, too. Seriously, the 3rd won't be too much of an issue, I don't think. Get a sling, a few good books. I think I'd make it a Starbuck's morning for a long time ;)

[ChristusG]

One other appeal to me for dropping the homeschool group is that I'd love to have "Fun Fridays" where we do science, our SOTW activity, sign language, and all the other fun things that we never get around to doing. With only doing school for four days, I don't feel like we can incorporate Fun Friday.

 

I'll definitely ask DD what she'd like to do.

[Pink Fairy]

I wouldn't give it up. If you are paying for your 4yo anyway, are there any classes she would enjoy taking with your 7yodd while you are caring for baby?

[ChristusG]

I wouldn't give it up. If you are paying for your 4yo anyway, are there any classes she would enjoy taking with your 7yodd while you are caring for baby?

 

My 4 year old is funny LOL....she won't take any classes. 7 year old will, but just won't speak while doing it.

 

I'm not sure that anything is helping DD be less shy. She's been with the same group of kids at church for 3 years now and has never said a word to anyone. She's been in this homeschool group for 2 years and it's the same there too.

 

DD4 wants to take a ballet class with DD7, but they fall into different age groups. I asked DD7 if she would take a class with DD4 if the teacher allowed her to be in there....DD7 said she didn't want to learn "baby moves." :001_huh: Maybe I can convince DD7 to take her own class as well as one with my 4 year old too....that is, if the teacher will allow her to be in the younger class.

 

What would be awesome is if they offered classes for the 4 year old (if she would go in there) while DD7 was at homeschool group. But they don't since all the PS kids are in school. DD4 is too young to attend the homeschool group classes.

[snickelfritz]

One other appeal to me for dropping the homeschool group is that I'd love to have "Fun Fridays" where we do science, our SOTW activity, sign language, and all the other fun things that we never get around to doing. With only doing school for four days, I don't feel like we can incorporate Fun Friday.

 

I'll definitely ask DD what she'd like to do.

 

 

See, for me..... I would keep the co-op and drop the Fun Friday idea for next year. Yes, getting them there may be hectic. But, once you do..... I would find a quiet corner and sit. Snooze. Feed baby. Relax. Chat. It gives the 2 older girls an energy and social outlet and gives you a break. On good days, you can still take baby to run an errand. Then on the other days, I would focus on the core academics and on those good days, incorporate some of your Fun Friday activities.

[Ellie]

No. Not for $130 a month, not for a middle-of-the-week, non-essential activity.

 

Are there no actual homeschool *support groups* in your area? That's where I'd be looking for social outlets.

[snickelfritz]

What would be awesome is if they offered classes for the 4 year old (if she would go in there) while DD7 was at homeschool group. But they don't since all the PS kids are in school. DD4 is too young to attend the homeschool group classes.

 

Ok. I misunderstood and thought both olders would have class. If you would be entertaining 4 year old, too..... Nope.

[Little Nyssa]

I'd stay-- she likes it, and being there for the long haul may make her more comfortable talking with people over time-- you are building a foundation for long-term friendships. ALSO I would very much value being able to drop her off at a safe, nice community, if I were you, so that I could have a break from 3 kids and only take care of 2 for a few hours. Will your DD4 soon be old enough for the group? that's what I'd be looking towards.

[Mommy22alyns]

Your 4 yo won't take any classes? Can you just drop your 7 yo off and keep the 4 yo and new baby with you? That would cut down on the cost.

[katilac]

Your 4 yo won't take any classes? Can you just drop your 7 yo off and keep the 4 yo and new baby with you? That would cut down on the cost.

 

Yeah, this. Spend some of the savings on coffee and books and the occasional visit to a fast food joint for younger dd.

[FriedClams]

I would not. I am not a big co-op person, though. I homeschool because I want to teach my kids, and I love the flexibility of not having to answer to anyone. In our case, a co-op is counterproductive. The idea of paying another untrained parent to teach my kids also is weird to me. I also hate the idea of giving up a day of school time for play. We do take one afternoon a week for piano and bible study (which is playtime for the kids), and that is plenty for us. Without other obligations we finish school early every day and are free to have play dates, go to the park, relax, or whatever. I think without a co-op you can find many fun social things for your kids to do that fit your goals and pace without having to commit long term or pay for a co-op.

[Pretty in Pink]

Yes, I would let my child continue with the group. She likes the group and it is well organized. She is young so her regular school work shouldn't take that long each day -- you can probably even get away with a four-day school week.

 

The thing is just that participating in those sorts of 'just for fun' activities becomes more and more difficult as your oldest child ages. There comes a point when their school work is much more time consuming, their extra-curriculars are more demanding, and there just isn't a great deal of free time for the 'fluff' anymore. I really miss those days with my eldest. My younger ones don't get to do a lot of that kind of stuff because my eldest needs to be at home focusing on his work.

 

I would plan to take two weeks off from co-op when the baby comes unless you can arrange other transportation for your dd. Beyond that, you've got to leave the house with all the kids at some point. I personally think that this is as good a reason as any.

[Haiku]

I'm not sure that anything is helping DD be less shy. She's been with the same group of kids at church for 3 years now and has never said a word to anyone. She's been in this homeschool group for 2 years and it's the same there too.

 

 

That's a red flag, to me. That goes way beyond shy. Does she speak to anyone outside your family?

 

Tara

[calandalsmom]

You might google selective mutism.

 

What you describe is not typical fo shy children and sounds a little more serious.

 

I would definitely NOT drop a group she is comfortable in and interacting happily in. The fact that she doesn't talk there seems relatively meaningless since apparently she doesnt talk anywhere but home.

 

I am a big fan of having friends and making friends. So I'd definitely keep going.

[Terabith]

I would try to keep them in there, other than it sounds like you don't want to. The curriculum thing isn't a big deal. But I think the social outlet is good. She's more likely to begin to socialize if she is there consistently. I think a day for fluff classes and socialization is a day well spent at age seven!

 

It's also a great opportunity for your youngest to get lots of exercise and socialize.

 

But, I would try to take advantage of other classes in the afternoons. That sounds like a really awesome opportunity to try lots of things....dance, sports, etc. I would probably focus more on the movement aspects (harder to do at home than cooking, for example). I would make that a priority, to help her find a passion, get exercise, and become more comfortable in a more chaotic, less structured social environment than church. The fact that she doesn't want to play soccer, etc, but likes it makes me think that this is really beneficial.

 

However, I would really encourage you to research selective mutism and perhaps talk to your doctor about the fact she does not talk there.

[Jennifer3141]

Yes, I would let my child continue with the group. She likes the group and it is well organized. She is young so her regular school work shouldn't take that long each day -- you can probably even get away with a four-day school week.

 

The thing is just that participating in those sorts of 'just for fun' activities becomes more and more difficult as your oldest child ages. There comes a point when their school work is much more time consuming, their extra-curriculars are more demanding, and there just isn't a great deal of free time for the 'fluff' anymore. I really miss those days with my eldest. My younger ones don't get to do a lot of that kind of stuff because my eldest needs to be at home focusing on his work.

 

I would plan to take two weeks off from co-op when the baby comes unless you can arrange other transportation for your dd. Beyond that, you've got to leave the house with all the kids at some point. I personally think that this is as good a reason as any.

 

:iagree:

 

I would also be concerned about a child this age who has spent years in groups without talking. It doesn't sound like taking her from people and things she enjoys would be that great an idea if it can be helped.

[Terabith]

I would encourage, or even insist, that your 4 yr old take classes too. I think by four some experience of working in a group (outside of church) is important. She needs to be encouraged to find friends and play with others.

 

If she is not in classes, is she playing on the premesis or something? If you and the baby have a break, that sounds like a pretty good deal.

[Teachin'Mine]

Christus you mentioned fun Fridays! I would do anything necessary to allow for field trips and all on Fridays. It sounds like large group activities aren't really your daughter's favorite thing. She might open up more and have more fun getting together with one friend at a time. If there's anyone she connected with at all - or who you think she might connect with - then invite them over for a play date. Maybe there's a family with two girls about the same age as yours and each could have a friend when they come over. Just a thought.

[Ellie]

I would not. I am not a big co-op person, though. I homeschool because I want to teach my kids, and I love the flexibility of not having to answer to anyone. In our case, a co-op is counterproductive. The idea of paying another untrained parent to teach my kids also is weird to me. I also hate the idea of giving up a day of school time for play. We do take one afternoon a week for piano and bible study (which is playtime for the kids), and that is plenty for us. Without other obligations we finish school early every day and are free to have play dates, go to the park, relax, or whatever. I think without a co-op you can find many fun social things for your kids to do that fit your goals and pace without having to commit long term or pay for a co-op.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[lmrich]

I would keep going. I would also invite a little girl over for your daughter to play with once a week. Perhaps you can do the "fun" school activities on the weekend when daddy is home to help with the baby.

[EKS]

My kids (now just the younger because the older one aged out) attend homeschool classes twice per week. The classes are fluffy and similar to what you describe. They also get some really good ones like art with a fantastic teacher.

 

The thing I really appreciate about the classes is that they create a consistent community of like-minded (homeschooling) folks, both for my children and for me. It took my older son *years* to develop relationships within this group as he is slow to warm up, but he *never* would have been able to develop those same relationships in classes at the park as they don't run long enough for that.

 

One thing we did a few years ago was to push to have the classes in the afternoon so that we could homeschool in the morning and it made a huge difference. Perhaps you could suggest this?

 

Another thing that might help her socially would be to invite one of the other children over to play one on one with your daughter. That way your daughter can forge a relationship without the group around. I know doing this really helped my older son in groups.

[calandalsmom]

http://www.selectivemutism.org/

[ChristusG]

http://www.selectivemutism.org/

 

Yes, we had her evaluated at one point and the therapist said she could possibly have selective mutism.

 

Her interaction is not what I'm concerned about. She's extremely shy (possibly with selective mutism). She comes from a family of quiet people. I went through school without saying a word, for the most part, and I'm relatively normal LOL.

 

Before it's time for group to start back, I'll have a talk with DD and ask her if she'd like to continue with the group. If she does, we'll discuss why and what she likes about it. I'll also present her with the option of Fun Fridays instead of homeschool group on Wednesdays and see what she says about it.

 

Even if she does want to continue attending, I will probably take some time off when baby is born. It's hard going places when newborns are on that 2 hour feeding "schedule."

[T Baer]

I'd bow out for this year, using the newborn as your excuse. Spend some time this year looking for a few other ways for your dd to 'get out'. Is there an art class, science museum class, or something else out there she might like? Perhaps a set of swimming lessons at the Y? Try out several things this year- one at a time, of course!

 

One year of not exchanging Valentines won't ruin her, and you can enjoy adjusting to the new baby. Next year, decide whether you missed it or if you want to try again.

 

Have a great school year- that third kid was the one that threw my whole routine off.

I agree. :iagree: It's okay to pass this year, you don't have to tough it out. This is not a do or die situation Look for other opportunites.

[Guest submarines]

I'd try to make it. Seems like a lovely opportunity for your DD to be with other kids.

 

I have many friends with 3 kids, and all say that the change from 1 to 2 was dramatic, but from 2 to 3 was an easy one.

[SailorMom]

I would because of these reasons. Yes, it'd be nice if it were more academic, but your dd's 7. She likes it. She's very, very quiet. It sounds very comfortable for her.

 

My dd is 16 and is still very much the same way. She's really stepped out a LOT this year, choosing a lot of big activities that take her way out of her comfort zone. She is not a talker. She enjoys herself. (She's leaving on a 10 day missions trip to Peru tomorrow with a group she barely knows.)

 

This is the perfect age for your dd to be in the kind of laid back, fun group she's in. Take advantage of it while you can!

 

 

:iagree:

[NanceXToo]

I'd stay.

 

You like the place.

 

Your daughter likes the group and participates.

 

She's young. Maybe with time she'll start talking to people more because she'll eventually start feeling like she knows them better, after feeling like a long term member of their group.

 

The classes being "fluff," well, maybe in time you might want to become involved in suggesting ideas, etc., and maybe they won't always be just fluff. But even if they are, you said you like it as a social opportunity for your daughter, so, sounds worth it either way.

 

You may get one of those newborns that doesn't cry a lot, is sleeping or content, and you may actually find it pretty easy to take your daughter to co-op, put baby in a sling, and go about doing your errands, once you've had your recovery period of course. You can always just see how it goes.

[hsbaby]

I would. My ds goes to a tutorial. Although it is more academic than you describe, I would keep him in it even if it weren't. It's a great social outlet, he has the opportunity to work in groups, he loves all the holiday parties, he has exposure to different teaching styles, etc.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I'd bow out for this year, using the newborn as your excuse. Spend some time this year looking for a few other ways for your dd to 'get out'. Is there an art class, science museum class, or something else out there she might like? Perhaps a set of swimming lessons at the Y? Try out several things this year- one at a time, of course!

 

One year of not exchanging Valentines won't ruin her, and you can enjoy adjusting to the new baby. Next year, decide whether you missed it or if you want to try again.

 

Have a great school year- that third kid was the one that threw my whole routine off.

 

Absolutely. Give yourself a break :grouphug: