Rude, insensitive, offensive comments?

[Part-Time Homeschooler]

What's the most insensitive/offensive thing someone has ever said to you? I can think of a few, but this is the most recent one (actually, it's really more of a back-handed compliment):

 

A few years ago, I was at my dermatologist's office for acne. My breakouts were not all that bad, but I was tired of always having a few pimples on my face.

 

Everything went well; he wrote me a prescription and turned to leave the exam room. Then he stopped and said, "You know, in here under this lighting your skin doesn't look all that bad."

 

I replied, "I know my skin isn't horrible, but I'd really like it to clear up completely."

 

To that he replied, "Oh, I wasn't talking about your acne. I was talking about your wrinkles. For a woman your age, you really don't look that bad."

 

Ummm, thanks so much! (I was 34 at the time!)

 

Anyone else care to share their stories?

[Diane in CO]

Well I have two to share :001_smile: The first one was 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my second child. There is exactly 2 years between son #1 and son #2, well an office co-worker of mine saw that I was pregnant again - 15 months after the first son and said "Wow your really a baby factory aren't you?":glare:

 

The second one also has to do with pregnancy. I congratulated a co-worker of mine on her first pregnancy and she asked me...."so when is yours due" ummm like 4 years ago :confused: The ironic thing is I am about 5'1 and 115 pounds, so not too big....but I sure did feel big that day

 

Diane

[lori in tx]

When I was preggies with my first one, one lady leaned over at the grocery store and said very loudly, " You babies should not be having babies, didn't your mom teach you how to keep you legs shut!" Ummm I was 22yo at the time and married, my dh leaned over and said just as loud, " Didn't you mom teach you to keep you rude mouth shut!"

That still makes my blood boil

[Scarlett]

MY MIL has said all sorts of rude things to me and about me.

 

When I was 16 she told my dh (well, he wasn't my dh then) 'She must not get enough to eat at home because she eats like a pig here.'

 

When I told her some furniture that she insisted we take from her wasn't my style she said, 'Of course you don't like it. You don't have the style and class it would take to appreciate fine furniture because of the kind of family you came from'.

 

Once I held my coffee cup incorrectly in a restaurant and she said, 'didn't your mother teach you any manners?'

 

Once I was setting a casual table for our breakfast at her house and didn't do it correctly and she went off on me again about my ignorance in that area.

 

And my favorite...she wrote my dh a letter when he was in college that said,

'Don't marry that Smith girl. She has bad jeans.'

[Brindee]

When my oldest was two, he had light blonde hair and huge blue eyes with LONG lashes. He was sitting in a cart seat as I went through the checkout line. The checker said, "Wow, your son has beautiful eyes, with such long lashes!" I was about ready to say thankyou when she looked at me then said, "Must've gotten them from his father!":001_huh: :lol:

[Mom2legomaniacs]

My FIL had cattle at one time. He is not known for being very sensitive or tactful. After the birth of ds 1, we all got together with dh's family (ds was about a month or so old I believe). Now, by far, I am way thinner than all of dh's family. FIL is very large! That's the set up. Given that I was nursing and I have a fast metabolism, I required a fair amount of food. So, MIL said to make sure they had extra since I was coming. And then, FIL compared me to a lactating bovine creature in a not so flattering manner. Even fully pregnant, I was still a good 100 pounds less than he was and is! It was not a pleasant weekend, to say the least.

[Scarlett]

Once dh and I weighed while at my in-laws and I commented that dh weighed 70 pounds more than me. FIL says, 'you only weigh 130?' I nodded my head and he said, 'huh. I'd a figured you for more than that.'

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

MY MIL has said all sorts of rude things to me and about me.

 

When I was 16 she told my dh (well, he wasn't my dh then) 'She must not get enough to eat at home because she eats like a pig here.'

 

When I told her some furniture that she insisted we take from her wasn't my style she said, 'Of course you don't like it. You don't have the style and class it would take to appreciate fine furniture because of the kind of family you came from'.

 

Once I held my coffee cup incorrectly in a restaurant and she said, 'didn't your mother teach you any manners?'

 

Once I was setting a casual table for our breakfast at her house and didn't do it correctly and she went off on me again about my ignorance in that area.

 

And my favorite...she wrote my dh a letter when he was in college that said,

'Don't marry that Smith girl. She has bad jeans.'

 

:eek: Bless your heart!! My MIL has made her share of comments, but usually much more passive aggressive in nature. Goodness! What kind of relationship do y'all have now? I know for me, I hold my MIL at bay because of comments she has and continues to make. I've become almost controlling about it. Thankfully, dh sees it and has done everything to protect me emotionally from her. He has almost no relationship with her.....it's very surface level. I think if she was ugly all the time I could handle it better than her being Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I never know what I'm getting with her so now I just pretty much try to ignore her. I just can't let my guard down during her "nice" times. It drives me nuts now that my kids are getting older because she says it to them, behind my back.:angry: It's never anything really bad, just picky and ridiculous. I'm glad I don't have to see her all that often.

[Scarlett]

:eek: Bless your heart!! My MIL has made her share of comments, but usually much more passive aggressive in nature. Goodness! What kind of relationship do y'all have now?

 

Oh, she is just nuts. I use to literally shake while near her because I tried so hard to make her like me. One day it hit me, 'Its not me it's her!' So now I just set firm boundaries and follow through with a shrug. She calls me a liar, I say, 'I am offended when you call me a liar and I will not stay on the phone and listen to it.' And then I hang up.

 

And she makes for a good laugh in my family. My family of bad 'jeans'.

[clwcain]

And she makes for a good laugh in my family. My family of bad 'jeans'.

 

You wore Jordache, didn't you? And your MiL was a Lee woman. Right? ;)

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

Oh, she is just nuts. I use to literally shake while near her because I tried so hard to make her like me. One day it hit me, 'Its not me it's her!' So now I just set firm boundaries and follow through with a shrug. She calls me a liar, I say, 'I am offended when you call me a liar and I will not stay on the phone and listen to it.' And then I hang up.

 

And she makes for a good laugh in my family. My family of bad 'jeans'.

 

Good for you being able to shrug it off! Yeah, the "jeans" thing is pretty darn funny!

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

You wore Jordache, didn't you? And your MiL was a Lee woman. Right? ;)

:lol::lol:

[Joanne]

Set up:

 

My dd was born Dec. 10 and this was the Thanksgiving just before. I was hostess - and very clearly at the end pregnancy. My x-sil was attending. Asked, once, "how can I help"? I asked if she could take the shell off some hard boiled eggs so I could make deviled eggs (her brother's, my xh's favorite - irony abounds in this story). She tried one egg, it didn't peel easily and so she went to the back patio to spend the rest of the day smoking.

 

Except for, right after I placed the turkey in the center of our Thanksgiving table, with a mixed, co-ed, age inclusive crowd of family, friends and people who had nowhere else to go (remember, xh and I were active members of AA and often opened our home to others in need during holidays)....

 

She said "So, did you lose your mucuous plug yet?". :glare:

[Joanne]

This one wasn't rude, insensitive but it was stupid.

 

Set up: At a Little League baseball game, where my younger 2 were "off playing" with the other siblings and my oldest was playing on the same field as the son of the stupid guy in the next segment.

 

After the fact that I homeschool comes up, in context, he asks: "What about sports and socialization?"

 

No, really. He was *seriously* asking.

[Scarlett]

Set up:

 

 

She said "So, did you lose your mucuous plug yet?". :glare:

 

:eek:

[Crissy]

He wasn't being rude or offensive. He's just not like that. But my husband is a funny, funny guy. :glare:

 

It was early on a weekday morning and I had only recently gotten out of bed. He told me his brother was coming right over to pick up his tickets for the weekend's football game. I said I would be right back after I put on a bit of makeup. My husband reminded me that my BIL wouldn't disown me just because I wasn't wearing makeup.

"I know," I told him, "I just hate looking my worst when anyone comes over."

"Don't worry about it, then," he reassured me, "you've looked worse."

 

:001_huh:

[QuirkyKapers]

We had an interim pastor at our church awhile back. I was on Worship Committee and was involved with writing Litanies as well as planning the flow of the service and the songs that would be plugged in. Needless to say, it took a little bit of time since I research everything to make sure whatever was done was accurate Biblically etc. I had a conversation with him indicating that I wasn't sure I was going to continue the next year since it was taking so much time away from my family. (My kids were 3 and 5 at the time) He says to me,"Maybe you really like it that way"

Duh- I wouldn't be saying I need to stop if I liked it that way......

[Binalina]

My dh and I had just gotten engaged. Shortly after which we had Easter with his family. During lunch his grandfather lifted a glass to toast our engagement and said " I think she will be a great asset to our family". Without a moment's hesitation my MIL to be said (loudly) "Yeah, either that or a great big A**!" Well, I knew I had better stear clear after that!

 

And may i say many rude comments during pregnancy and now that I have 4 little ones. (especially when I had a 5yr old, twins who were 2 and preg. for the fourth one).

 

Also many people who feel free to tell me I shouldn't have any more children because that would just be crazy.:glare:

 

Binalina

[Jean in Newcastle]

Let's see. . .

 

When my dh and I announced our engagment my future MIL sat down with me on the couch and told me the names of every single Filipina that she had hoped he would choose instead of me (I'm not a Filipina).

 

One of the Filipinas listed told me after we were married, "Well if it doesn't work out, tell your husband I'll be available. . ." (In your dreams!)

 

My in-laws did not learn my name for our first 2 years of marriage. I would call and identify myself and the response would be "Jean who?"

 

Actually after 15 years of marriage my in-laws and I have a pretty good relationship.

[Jean in Newcastle]

This one is not about me.

 

At a church prayer meeting I shared a prayer request for an elderly woman who had cancer and was scared of having chemo.

A woman at church asked how the elderly woman was. When I replied that she was in her 80's this woman said, "Oh, well, she's old. They should just let her die." :eek: I'm glad she wasn't chosen to visit the sick in the hospital. . .

[elegantlion]

My own mother, bless her heart (said in my sweetest voice), made a comment to me when I was a teenager. It has stuck with me for years, I'm now 41 and it still irks me.

 

My mother, whom I love, was blessed with long legs and a very classically beautiful figure. I inherited my father's short arms, legs and somewhat stocky genetics.

 

I was not overweight as a teenager, but my mother blessed me with this comment..."You'd be really pretty if you didn't have such a big butt." Can you believe it? Just what a teenage girl wants to hear.

[Amy loves Bud]

When we told my MIL I was pregnant with Romy, number 3.

 

She replied to me, "I guess you're happy now."

 

Yes, finally, after thirteen years of marriage and a third child, her precious son was trapped.

 

Sometimes she ... bugs me. :D

[Rosie_0801]

"I feel sorry for any guy who ends up with you."

 

I paid little attention at first, I was only about 12. He said it again when I was 21. I told him if he said it again I'd hit him so hard his false teeth would fall out. He laughed, and never said it again.

What charm.

Rosie

[at the beach]

What's the most insensitive/offensive thing someone has ever said to you? I can think of a few, but this is the most recent one (actually, it's really more of a back-handed compliment):

 

A few years ago, I was at my dermatologist's office for acne. My breakouts were not all that bad, but I was tired of always having a few pimples on my face.

 

Everything went well; he wrote me a prescription and turned to leave the exam room. Then he stopped and said, "You know, in here under this lighting your skin doesn't look all that bad."

 

I replied, "I know my skin isn't horrible, but I'd really like it to clear up completely."

 

To that he replied, "Oh, I wasn't talking about your acne. I was talking about your wrinkles. For a woman your age, you really don't look that bad."

 

Ummm, thanks so much! (I was 34 at the time!)

 

Anyone else care to share their stories?

 

Hmm, funny this question should come up. Today, my sil referred to my dd 8 as "off." She was asking me if I was considering sending the kids back to school. Umm, nope. Then, the question was what sort of career my dd would eventually have because she "wasn't going to become a doctor, you know." :001_huh: I have no idea what she'll do, but it's probably a bit premature to assume she can't do certain things in life at this stage, right? Then, she told me about a friend's "off" sister who was on an IEP in school but has got through college and has an MA in Education. To boot, she's now married to a guy who has a great paying job in a highly technical field. So, I said, well, at least she's figured out how to land a great guy. ;) Anyhow, my dd 8 does have learning differences and social awkwardness and fine and gross motor issues, but sheesh, who refers to kids as "off" to their parents?!

 

So, yeah, this was pretty insensitive I think.

 

Anita

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

Wow, no one would ever believe you used to be so fat!

 

What really made this so funny is she is the type of person that NEVER makes a social gaffe. And because she was trying to compliment me, I took it in the spirit she meant it. (But that doesn't stop me from ribbing her about it, even to this day):D

 

I wouldn't be nearly as good-natured about the intentionally rude and hurtful comments some of you have received.

 

What could those people have been thinking? :confused:

 

nandell

[*anj*]

Let's see. . .

 

When my dh and I announced our engagment my future MIL sat down with me on the couch and told me the names of every single Filipina that she had hoped he would choose instead of me (I'm not a Filipina).

 

 

Jean,

I understand that.

 

When dh and I first started dating, his father told him that he didn't approve and that he should be dating one of our other friends and he named them (there was a whole group of us who ran around together in college.)

 

Then while we were dating we had eaten dinner with his parents and I was helping his mom wash dishes and she turned around and told me that if I cared at all for him I'd let him go. She told me that he would never be successful in business or get ahead in life if he had me for a wife. She said that people would reject our children and they wouldn't have any friends. She told me that her friend had said that she doesn't think that couples "like you" should have children because they are rejected by society. She told me that people in their area don't go for "that kind of thing."

 

There were other things too. It was pretty unpleasant.

 

I basically told her that any trials he might face would only build his character and make her stronger. I told her that I didn't care if people down there don't "go for that" because we don't live down there. And I told her that there are lots of people who will love our children because her friend doesn't know what she's talking about.

 

And then I walked out.

I didn't tell (future) dh about it until we were in the car.

 

She's fine now. We're on good terms. We're not terribly close to her, but there are all kinds of other reasons for that. Her dh has been dead for some time now, but we had a very good relationship right up to his death.

[Diana in OR]

Mine seem tame compared to some of yours, but here goes:

 

I got pg w/ds 6 months after dh and I got married. We wanted kids right away, so we didn't do anything to prevent it. When I told my mom I was expecting here first grandchild(we were not very close), she said, "I thought you were going to wait a couple of years."

 

When dh and I told our Bible study, one of the single gals piped right up and said, "I take it this was a planned thing?"

 

And last, a homeschool-related rude comment: My boys and I helped out with an After School Club with a couple in their late 50s. The husband was a retired teacher. One week,out of the blue, he pulled my 7th grader aside and asked him to name the continents. The next week, he pulled *me* aside and told me that ds didn't know the continents, and that it was a basic third grade skill he should have known, and that I needed to work with him on them!

[nancypants]

"You have four sons? How sad!" :cursing::banghead: Almost ripped that lady a new one.

[Whisperlily]

About 2 weeks after my DH had left for a 15 month deployment, while living in a city where I had no friends or family, I had to make a trip to the grocery store with all 4 kids in tow.

 

Talking quietly with the kids, we were discussing what Daddy might be doing at that moment... How far away it was, what the time difference was, etc.

 

A lady came up to me in the checkout line and started talking very loudly, saying that my husband was a murderer... and worse. Right in front of my children, loud enough that it was drawing attention from anyone within earshot.

 

I understand that people have very strong feelings about the military and current world events, but what kind of person would say something like that in front of small children who are obviously missing their Daddy?

 

I do have to give Kudos to my DH for what he said when I told him... I think it's a common sentiment passed around among soldiers. He told me next time, if it happens, to tell her he said "You're welcome. I do what I do, serving our country in whatever way I am asked, so that we will ensure you always have the right to speak your opinions freely."

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Well, my MIL told me I had been nothing but trouble since the day she'd met me - that was after 15 years of marriage. It was just the capper on 17 years of rude comments. I am done. We haven't spoken since. I just sweetly say - Oh you must be calling for your son and pass the phone on over. And I always seem to have important work commitments when dh and kids are going to visit.

[Scarlett]

I understand that people have very strong feelings about the military and current world events, but what kind of person would say something like that in front of small children who are obviously missing their Daddy?

 

That is terrible. :(

[WTMindy]

He wasn't being rude or offensive. He's just not like that. But my husband is a funny, funny guy. :glare:

 

It was early on a weekday morning and I had only recently gotten out of bed. He told me his brother was coming right over to pick up his tickets for the weekend's football game. I said I would be right back after I put on a bit of makeup. My husband reminded me that my BIL wouldn't disown me just because I wasn't wearing makeup.

"I know," I told him, "I just hate looking my worst when anyone comes over."

"Don't worry about it, then," he reassured me, "you've looked worse."

 

:001_huh:

 

LOL!! Funny guy!!:glare:

[sleepy]

When we moved into our new home a guy came over to install the cable box. He asked me why the kids weren't "in school," and I explained that we homeschool, so they're always here...

 

He said, "Oh, I feel sorry for you."

 

Dude, you have a job installing cable boxes, and you feel sorry for me?? :blink:

[OnTheBrink]

When we moved into our new home a guy came over to install the cable box. He asked me why the kids weren't "in school," and I explained that we homeschool, so they're always here...

 

He said, "Oh, I feel sorry for you."

 

Dude, you have a job installing cable boxes, and you feel sorry for me?? :blink:

 

 

I had the same experience with a dishwasher repair man. First, he reeked of cigarette smoke and stank up my whole kitchen/living room area; secondly, I wasn't paying him for his opinions. I told him all I needed him to do was repair the dishwasher and leave the educational decisions to those to whom it concerns.

 

My exMIL had some doozies for my son. She'd make references to "blackies," "n*ggers," "darkies" and then giggle as if it were funny. My son never caught on to that (he was pretty young) but one year, he grew a LOT and after he towered over MIL, she stopped.

[Jennifer in NH]

Given enough time I could come up with a few...but off the top of my head here is one from my FIL.

When my future dh told his parents that he had asked me to marry him...my future FIL took him out to the back field for a talk...in this talk he told my dh that since I was from Massachusetts I was probably "loose" and a slut. :glare: because, of course all women who grew up close to the city are you know!;) Why DH ever told me that, I do not know...since being married my FIL has been wonderful. of course, Dh's great uncle told dh, in fron tof me, to not let me get more education than he gets! Nope...no one whant a smart, educated woman for a wife!;)

Funny thing is, my MIL is the one who zaps me all the time, but gosh if I can remember any! I let DH go over there alone most of the time..without me, without my kiddos! oh well.

[TraceyS/FL]

Oh the one i will NEVER forget.....

 

My 5th grade year was.... horrid.... i truly believe that my teacher hated me (as did my parents). It was a GOOD THING that we moved out of state 1/2 thru the year.

 

However, we moved back to town for me to start 7th grade. That teacher was the Assistant Principal at the Jr High. Lovely.

 

So i walked up to him on the first day of school, on the blacktop - he was leaning on a pole watching all of us, and said "Hi!" to him.

 

He looked at me and said, "I thought you moved?"

 

Nice.

 

Flash to highschool and i was driving, my brother was now in 5th grade. Guess who had gone back to teaching it? Yup. HIM. AND, my brother got stuck with him.

 

I used to have to go pick him up from school - i'd stand in the back of that horrid classroom glaring at him. :D

 

My parents could not believe their horrid luck for getting the man TWICE. YUCK.

 

(and this my friends, is one of the worst public school memories i have - and i'm 39, and have NEVER forgotten it. He did horrid things to my esteem.....)

[TraceyS/FL]

I moved 3000 miles from mine.

 

I could go on and on and on with the MIL ones..... but i won't...... ugh....

[Alenee]

My mil is known for making comments that leave you thinking, "Did she mean what I think she meant?"

 

DD2 was in my lap when mil said, "Wow, she has a bad overbite just like her mom."

 

What? What overbite? I was stunned into silence....

 

My fil (before dh and I married) told dh to watch out for me because I didn't have a job at the time and could sue him for palimony if he dumped me. WHAT?

[nmoira]

Not three hours after I'd been talking about being in the middle of an emotionally charged search for my birth mother, my soon-to-be MIL (in response to something on the radio) proceeded to rant about how adoptees end up psychologically damaged simply because they are raised by people not related to them. This was after she'd gone on about how she didn't understand why Canada wasn't part of the US (I'm Canadian, and like most Canadians have a sensitive spot on the issue of sovereignty). This was the worst day, but there's another incident every time I see her. She wonders why I don't actively seek to spend time with her.

[Kelli in TN]

Said in front of my daughter when she was 6 years old

 

"You won't be able to homeschool her. She is not smart like her brother."

 

 

Of course that girl who apparently showed no promise at age 6 is an English major on a full scholarship at private liberal arts college. So, maybe she was smarter than she looked?

[dragons in the flower bed]

I think the one that sticks out most for me does so because it came from someone I see regularly. Every time I see this person, I wonder if they're just waiting for me to see the light. The comment, made with a hand placed supportively on my arm: "I just want to make sure you know that when you decide you're ready to leave Brett, we'll be here to support your escape." :001_huh:

[Stacia]

It was early on a weekday morning and I had only recently gotten out of bed. He told me his brother was coming right over to pick up his tickets for the weekend's football game. I said I would be right back after I put on a bit of makeup. My husband reminded me that my BIL wouldn't disown me just because I wasn't wearing makeup.

"I know," I told him, "I just hate looking my worst when anyone comes over."

"Don't worry about it, then," he reassured me, "you've looked worse."

 

:001_huh:

 

LOL. This makes me think of something my sister's dh said to her... She must have been grumpy or in a bad mood & after acting that way, I guess she said something to that effect. Well, her dh shot back w/, "You've been b*tchier." LOL. (Uh, I think he then quickly saw what b*tchier is & tried to eat his words.)

 

We tell my sister that one all the time now, whenever she gets a little out of sorts. ;) Guess she'll never live that one down.

 

I'm trying to think of insults of put downs, but can't think of one. For some reason, when my ds was born, my mil didn't come by to see him at all for over a month. She lives 2 miles down the road & is out & about every.single.day. She practially drives by the end of our street 2x a day (minimum) to go get her daily coffee at the cafe. When she did finally show up, it wasn't to see the baby, but because she needed dh to help her w/ some paperwork stuff. It hurt my feelings at the time, but we have a good relationship even so.

[Staci in MO]

It happened when I was pregnant with my third child. We were trying to leave the house, and our dog was hiding under my bed.

 

I pulled the dog out from under the bed and stood up. My ds (remember, he was five), was studying me from behind.

 

He said, "Mommy, I know you're not supposed to say that someone has a fat butt, but is it okay to say if someone has a big butt?"

 

Um, no. Not okay.

 

And around the same time, we were praying with the kids before bed. Dd was three.

 

Her prayer? "Thank you for the handsome guy named Daddy and the big lady named Mommy."

 

Dh and I laughed until we had tears rolling down our faces. We still laugh about that one.

 

And I'm not all that big, but I'm short and have big babies, so pregnancy is kind of dramatic on my small frame.

[Mom2GirlsTX]

I think one said to me from my SIL is pretty funny :

 

"that is a very bad picture of you, but at least it looks better than you do in real life"

:confused:

[Jean in Wisc]

I was a mom of an almost 2yo and a newborn. When pregnant, I carried the babies out front, far enough to outgrow my maternity clothing. It took a little time to shrink back into the right size, so for the first few weeks, I wore jumpers and looser fitting dresses.

 

While holding my baby on one arm and pushing my toddler on a swing in a park at a homeschool family get-together, one of the mothers asked, "Are you pregnant again?"

 

"Um.(?!?) No...," looking down at my just-a-few-weeks-old babe in my arms.

 

"Then why do you always were such frumpy clothing?"

 

Right.

 

Thanks.

 

J

[kalanamak]

 

My in-laws did not learn my name for our first 2 years of marriage. I would call and identify myself and the response would be "Jean who?"

 

Actually after 15 years of marriage my in-laws and I have a pretty good relationship.

 

My exIL's called me the white wh*re, and accused me of giving him syphilis (it was chickenpox, and I didn't give it to him and his mother was an RN), told me "white women were too lazy to make good nurses" (I was an intern working 80 hours a week) and warned him I'd spring a litter of children on him once we were married (hidden until I snared him, you see?). She'd say things like "I forgot you were coming...everything is very spicy" (I learned to eat very spicy), and told him of a divorced woman who'd have him if he'd just leave me. I went through 11 years of this.

When we announced our engagement, his father said "We thought he would have intercourse with you, but never marry you". I kid not.

 

They were tickled pink when we split up, although they had grown to understand I'd stuck by him through 3 crisis with none coming from my health or behavior, and I could cook a mean sabji. Now they are probably gnawing their knuckles over the fact he lives with a less finanacially stable woman with FOUR children who refuses to marry him despite his beggings. And she is white, too. (And she is right to refuse....he'll keep swimming after a fish that is fleeing, but once it is his, he'll take it all for granted.)

[Alexandra]

I am not happy about world events but that statement is utterly indefensible and I am sorry that someone said that to you and your children! It reminds me of what the military went through during/after Viet Nam.

Blech!

 

 

About 2 weeks after my DH had left for a 15 month deployment, while living in a city where I had no friends or family, I had to make a trip to the grocery store with all 4 kids in tow.

 

Talking quietly with the kids, we were discussing what Daddy might be doing at that moment... How far away it was, what the time difference was, etc.

 

A lady came up to me in the checkout line and started talking very loudly, saying that my husband was a murderer... and worse. Right in front of my children, loud enough that it was drawing attention from anyone within earshot.

 

I understand that people have very strong feelings about the military and current world events, but what kind of person would say something like that in front of small children who are obviously missing their Daddy?

 

I do have to give Kudos to my DH for what he said when I told him... I think it's a common sentiment passed around among soldiers. He told me next time, if it happens, to tell her he said "You're welcome. I do what I do, serving our country in whatever way I am asked, so that we will ensure you always have the right to speak your opinions freely."

[Rose in BC]

A co-worker's wife was picking cherries in our backyard commenting on how selfish young couples were these days, not having babies. It just about killed me because I knew she was directing these comments at me, and my husband and I were struggling a lot with our fertility issues. It was probably at one of the lowest points when she made this comment. And I've never forgotten it (although I'm clearly over it.) I just chalk it up as "people often don't think before they speak". I'm sure she would have been horrified to know she was saying this to a woman who desperately wanted children, but was infertile.

[RoughCollie]

The rudest thing anyone has ever said to me was this gem from my MIL, about a week after my boys were born 3 months early:

 

"I told all the relatives not to bother sending you cards and presents for the babies. That way, if one or more of them dies, you won't have to send the presents back. Also, they won't have to waste time shopping for or returning the presents until we find out what happens."

 

and this...

 

"If one or two of the babies dies, it will be sad, but it will be for the best. I don't see how [my son] will be happy taking care of three babies and having to support them."

 

RC

[dirty ethel rackham]

A couple pregnancy ones:

 

When I was very obviously 9 months pg with my first, I needed to buy some shoes for my swollen feet. We walked into a store and the owner told me that I couldn't come in in "that condition." I said 'What condition?" He said," Well, I can't have you having your baby in my store." I started laughing and said, "I wish. Buddy, it rarely happens that way."

 

I am sure that I related this story here before. I was pg with my 2nd - maybe 7 months. On my way to work, I got stopped for a ticket for improper lane usage. I had to go to the bathroom SOOOO bad and the cop wouldn't let me get out of my car to visit the ladies' room at the gas station across the street. So, when I finally arrived at work, I was IN A MOOD. On the elevator, a man in his late '50's, making conversation, said "Due any day?" Trying to be nice, I said, "No, 2 more months." He then said, "Oh you must be having twins." Well, I lost it - I lit into him about how he just called me fat and that this is what 7 months pregnant looks like -and no, we don't hide out in our houses to not offend the masses with our large, offensive girth, etc. I really let him have it. We got off at the same floor and I then saw him walk into the executive wing. He was the VP in from New York. I slithered off to the bathroom and hid in my cube most of the day!!