MariannNOVA Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) As many of you already know, my dd Stacey and her dh are expecting a baby boy in October. They lost a baby boy to IUFD last November. Suffice to say we are thrilled that her pregnancy has been without incident and all is well. They do, however, have a penchant for 'odd' names. The baby boy she was carrying last year was going to be named Luciano -- their choice, not as bad as it could be, but I left it simply at perhaps they could explore other names. They ended up naming the baby Robert Francis after both grandfathers - which was lovely and appropriate. Stacey tells me on the phone the other night, that they are naming the baby 'Rango' -- yes, after the Johnny Depp lizard (or whatever he is) in that movie. I asked if that was the baby's 'in utero' name and she said no, that was what they decided on. I sighed, and said that the RCC requires a baby name to be a saint's name (is this still the case) and I do not ever remember reading about St. Rango. I also suggested Johnny with Rango as a middle name (nope, she said). I suggested a bunch of other names - jokingly, but did tell her it would morph into 'WRONGO' and he would be made fun of. Tonight on f/b (which I hate) she announced the baby's name. All of her friends who commented said it was a cute in utero name and they couldn't wait to hear the 'real' name. ETA: Every single friend, cousin, etc suggested cute family names as they all know our family. She responded that Rango was the real name. I commented that my dd10 begged me to get them a baby name book out of the library - and I rattled off about 10 names that my kids came up with off the top of their heads. Her husband commented back that 'with all due respect, we are not taking opinions or suggestion for the baby's name.' I commented that 'with all due respect, that was perfectly obvious.':glare: I intend to keep my mouth shut from here on end, but I think the two of them have lost their minds. And, I DO have a sense of humor. When I was pg with the twins, I told everyone that if they were both girls, we were going to name them LOURDES and TAYLOR!:lol: However, when I was making that joke, I already they were b/g and I knew what we were going to name them. UPDATE: I did go back to fb to get rid of my comment, replace it with only the supportive things I had written and I found that sil had deleted both of my comments. Edited May 31, 2011 by MariannNOVA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Their baby, their choice. My stepmother didn't like the choice my half-brother just made. She made such a huge stink about it they no longer talk to her. Would you rather cope with the name, or never see the baby? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Wow, glad my MIL would not be so rude. Do you want to be allowed to have a relationship with him? You're going to have to let them be the parents; you got to name your own kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Then I won't even tell you the name we have tentatively planned for our next boy :lol: (although we don't have any RCC terms to deal with). Their kid, their name. Many people won't even reveal the name until after the baby is born & it's too late to be pressured to change it, because people have VERY different opinions on names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I would feel like you do, but keep my mouth shut. I think you are going to have to deal with whatever they decide to name the baby. If it's Rango, then so be it. You will love little Rango. :001_smile: Maybe if you don't say anything, they will come up with something else before the baby is born??? If you protest, they may dig their heels in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 My mom has always just smiled and kept her opinions to herself. My dc have what I consider normal names, but they've got some cousins with questionable ones. My sister told us today that their baby boy will probably be named Jethro. My mom and I just smiled and asked if they decided on a middle name yet. :D *No offense meant to anyone who loves the name Jethro. :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetkvass Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Yes, it's a really stupid name. But it's not worth making a stink over. And by arguing with them you are actually just ensuring that they feel obligated to stick with the name to prove a point. I'd make sure no one says another word about it. Deliberately offer support to them in their name choice and then just hope and pray they come to their senses before baby is born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I would get a lip clip. The more you protest...the more they will like that name... Kids....sigh.... Then again, I did not appreciate the 2am phone call from dh's uncle then night I got home from the hospital with my oldest son...he didn't like the name at.all. Oh well.... Faithe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Yikes. If they end up going with Rango, I think they're going to regret it down the road. Not much you can do about it though. Hoo boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Yes, it's a really stupid name. But it's not worth making a stink over. And by arguing with them you are actually just ensuring that they feel obligated to stick with the name to prove a point. I'd make sure no one says another word about it. Deliberately offer support to them in their name choice and then just hope and pray they come to their senses before baby is born. Yes...:iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 A name by any other name :) Just be happy they didn't choose Dweezil, Moon Unit, Audio Science, Bogart Che Peyote or Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 And this is why we don't reveal until after delivery. Well, for subsequent kids. There was enough judgment on the first two to convince us we needed to shut people up without coming right out and telling them to shut up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) oh my :glare: my neice has named her kids a few "differently odd" names too....Draco....Korbon Hood......Lyric.....Lucian.....I can relate.....lol I guess just try to admire her uniqueness in choosing names.....lol :grouphug: totally agree it's their kid and they pick the names....I guess just grin and bear it....will definately be the only little Rango in class I bet..... Edited May 31, 2011 by SweetMissMagnolia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Their baby, their choice. My stepmother didn't like the choice my half-brother just made. She made such a huge stink about it they no longer talk to her. Would you rather cope with the name, or never see the baby? Wow, glad my MIL would not be so rude. Do you want to be allowed to have a relationship with him? You're going to have to let them be the parents; you got to name your own kids. Then I won't even tell you the name we have tentatively planned for our next boy :lol: (although we don't have any RCC terms to deal with). Their kid, their name. Many people won't even reveal the name until after the baby is born & it's too late to be pressured to change it, because people have VERY different opinions on names. I would feel like you do, but keep my mouth shut. I think you are going to have to deal with whatever they decide to name the baby. If it's Rango, then so be it. You will love little Rango. :001_smile: Maybe if you don't say anything, they will come up with something else before the baby is born??? If you protest, they may dig their heels in. My mom has always just smiled and kept her opinions to herself. My dc have what I consider normal names, but they've got some cousins with questionable ones. My sister told us today that their baby boy will probably be named Jethro. My mom and I just smiled and asked if they decided on a middle name yet. :D *No offense meant to anyone who loves the name Jethro. :001_smile: Yes, it's a really stupid name. But it's not worth making a stink over. And by arguing with them you are actually just ensuring that they feel obligated to stick with the name to prove a point. I'd make sure no one says another word about it. Deliberately offer support to them in their name choice and then just hope and pray they come to their senses before baby is born. I would get a lip clip. The more you protest...the more they will like that name... Kids....sigh.... Then again, I did not appreciate the 2am phone call from dh's uncle then night I got home from the hospital with my oldest son...he didn't like the name at.all. Oh well.... Faithe Yikes. If they end up going with Rango, I think they're going to regret it down the road. Not much you can do about it though. Hoo boy. Thank you all. I appreciate your advice and stories (Jethro). I know I have to keep my mouth shut from here on end, but I had to VENT. I do know that son in law's mom blew a gasket and was much less diplomatic than me. Thank you all again --I guess that I will have my kids do a 'rango' theme for the baby shower.:glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Names can be changed. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquinas Academy Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 The RCC does not require babies to have saints' names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 A name by any other name :) Just be happy they didn't choose Dweezil, Moon Unit, Audio Science, Bogart Che Peyote or Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Hang in there. I like Bogart.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Maybe they just aren't into telling the real name, were having some fun and felt a little pushed around? Maybe? Hopefully? :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Anything past the initial mention is too much interference. Besides a sincere apology to daughter and son-in-law, you are doing all you can by keeping your thoughts on the matter to yourself. We selected a traditional but foreign name for one of our children which elicited similar response from a couple of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 The RCC does not require babies to have saints' names. :svengo: :banghead: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Maybe they just aren't into telling the real name, were having some fun and felt a little pushed around? Maybe? Hopefully? :confused: :grouphug: my fingers are crossed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Umm. :001_huh: Really? Seriously? I'd be biting my tongue OFF. We never had issues with people judging the girls' names, but then again... their names aren't Rango. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 You really need to respect their choice, it is their baby. I know it may be hard, but you had your chance to name your babies, now it is their turn. Yeh, it's an odd name, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it and start an "issue". You may regret it later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Umm. :001_huh: Really? Seriously? I'd be biting my tongue OFF. We never had issues with people judging the girls' names, but then again... their names aren't Rango. Thank you. my dh freaked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 They're doing it to ruffle your feathers and it's working. Time to reflect on the bigger picture. They are having a healthy baby and everyone should be rejoicing for that. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquinas Academy Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 :svengo: :banghead: The name must not be anti-Christian. I'm not sure if Rango really falls in that category. :grouphug: I hope they come up with a different name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I'd leave it alone. You might also show support by getting her something with "rango' written on it. Like a bowl or towel. This is not a hill to let your relationship die on. :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Kudos to your SIL, I think that was pretty gracious under the circumstances. Whatever they name the child, you will love the child and get used to the name. I can't see where complaining or suggesting alternatives or giving reasons it's a bad idea will earn you any brownie points whatsoever. It will, however, stick in their minds that you were not supportive. 10 years ago I was planning to name my son Mason. My mother went on a holy terror fit about it and totally ruined the name for me. I still remember it and think of it now and then. And it bugs me. A lot. Fortunately she is somewhat supportive abut other things, so I try to focus on that instead! As difficult as it may be, I would consider this the first in a long line of parenting decisions that you may not agree with but need to bite your tongue about. Knowing you are a kind and patient mama, I am sure you will rise above the temptation to horn in on their decisions!! No good can come from it, save your influence for life and death matters. I think I would delete the "obviously" comment on fb and instead write "SIL, you are right, this is completely up to you and dd. I don't love the name yet but I am sure I will grow to love it as much as I will love this little bundle of joy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I guess that I will have my kids do a 'rango' theme for the baby shower.:glare: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 You had your chance to name your kids, this is her turn. It is a pet peeve when people feel it is ok to say negative things to your face about the name you have chosen for their child. We don't do that when we meet someone that already has their name, and it is just as rude to do it before the child is born. If she adopted a child that was say, 5 years old, and you didn't like the girl's name, would you tell her that, or tell her it would be made fun of, or whatever? No, because it would be rude. And it is rude now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetkvass Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 A name by any other name :) Just be happy they didn't choose Dweezil, Moon Unit, Audio Science, Bogart Che Peyote or Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Hang in there. Or Pilot Inspektor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Kudos to your SIL, I think that was pretty gracious under the circumstances. Whatever they name the child, you will love the child and get used to the name. I can't see where complaining or suggesting alternatives or giving reasons it's a bad idea will earn you any brownie points whatsoever. It will, however, stick in their minds that you were not supportive. 10 years ago I was planning to name my son Mason. My mother went on a holy terror fit about it and totally ruined the name for me. I still remember it and think of it now and then. And it bugs me. A lot. Fortunately she is somewhat supportive abut other things, so I try to focus on that instead! As difficult as it may be, I would consider this the first in a long line of parenting decisions that you may not agree with but need to bite your tongue about. Knowing you are a kind and patient mama, I am sure you will rise above the temptation to horn in on their decisions!! No good can come from it, save your influence for life and death matters. I think I would delete the "obviously" comment on fb and instead write "SIL, you are right, this is completely up to you and dd. I don't love the name yet but I am sure I will grow to love it as much as I will love this little bundle of joy!" Mason is a very nice name. I wanted to name 'stacey' 'bethany' and my mom freaked so I didn't. You have shared reasonable, appropriate advice and I appreciate your taking the time to do so. SIL deleted my posts on f/b -- I went back to apologize and they were deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Or Pilot Inspektor! :lol: Thanks -- I needed a laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Mariann, If it makes you feel better my cousin has two kids, Moses and Moon. :) Rango sounds great to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Mason is a very nice name. I wanted to name 'stacey' 'bethany' and my mom freaked so I didn't. You have shared reasonable, appropriate advice and I appreciate your taking the time to do so. SIL deleted my posts on f/b -- I went back to apologize and they were deleted. Then I would send a message to them apologizing, obviously it upset them if they deleted the posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Mariann,If it makes you feel better my cousin has two kids, Moses and Moon. :) Rango sounds great to me. Karen -- Thanks -- I think that what I really did want was to feel better. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 OK, I probably would have responded similar. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when naming the baby after an animated character that is a lizard is clearly not a good choice. :glare: I would have been snarky too. Clearly, as you did, I would have realized that I probably should have kept my mouth, or fingers, closed. *sigh* At least it wasn't Orangejello and Yellowjello ... yes, these poor twins are doomed to orange jello and yellow jello names. Pronounced differently, but still jello!:001_huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Mason is a very nice name. I wanted to name 'stacey' 'bethany' and my mom freaked so I didn't. You have shared reasonable, appropriate advice and I appreciate your taking the time to do so. SIL deleted my posts on f/b -- I went back to apologize and they were deleted. I would apologize in a message, by phone, or in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I think it's their baby to name and would not appreciate my MIL's negative opinion about a name we'd chosen. I don't like the name... but again, it's not my baby. And I've heard worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 The RCC does not require babies to have saints' names. No, but when little Ran picks a saint name for confirmation he can go by that if he so chooses. Marianne I'd start dropping hints to little Ran as often as possible. :D But that is just me and I'm that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 I would apologize in a message, by phone, or in person. Thanks again for being a calm, reasonable voice. I've spoken to my dd -- :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praisefor3 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Actually, my advice is the opposite of most. Although it would take some inward strength, I would actually go completely 100% on board for the name and use it extensively. "I can't wait to hold Baby Rango." "How is Rango doing?" "Is Rango moving much??" I would say it very often and very lovingly. At least one of three things might possibly happen. 1.) They would hear it so much that maybe the novelty of it would wear off and they would hear it for how it really sounds and choose something else (at which point I would jump ship for the new name but beware it could be worse. 2.) They would appreciate your acceptance and support and would feel closer to you for it. 3.) After saying it so much you might forget how it sounds and just begin to love Baby Rango so much that it doesn't feel or sound as strange. These are the types of situations that separate the ok MIL's (or worse) from the great MIL's. Here's your chance to shine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 OK, I probably would have responded similar. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when naming the baby after an animated character that is a lizard is clearly not a good choice. :glare: I would have been snarky too. Clearly, as you did, I would have realized that I probably should have kept my mouth, or fingers, closed. *sigh* At least it wasn't Orangejello and Yellowjello ... yes, these poor twins are doomed to orange jello and yellow jello names. Pronounced differently, but still jello!:001_huh: Thank you -- thank you alot! SIL is so freaking 'out there' sometimes that I want to pick up something and throw it at him. The 'snarkiness' doesn;'t bother him -- it;s the fact that one is not in agreement with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Actually, my advice is the opposite of most. Although it would take some inward strength, I would actually go completely 100% on board for the name and use it extensively. "I can't wait to hold Baby Rango." "How is Rango doing?" "Is Rango moving much??" I would say it very often and very lovingly. At least one of three things might possibly happen. 1.) They would hear it so much that maybe the novelty of it would wear off and they would hear it for how it really sounds and choose something else (at which point I would jump ship for the new name but beware it could be worse. 2.) They would appreciate your acceptance and support and would feel closer to you for it. 3.) After saying it so much you might forget how it sounds and just begin to love Baby Rango so much that it doesn't feel or sound as strange. These are the types of situations that separate the ok MIL's (or worse) from the great MIL's. Here's your chance to shine! Excellent advice -- thank you. you make a good point; hearing it used every day, may take some of the shine off it. You know, they are both school teachers......you would think they would know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I agree with the 100% on board angle. It's their baby ... their decision. My brother has 3 kids and ALL of them have names I wouldn't wish on anyone. Biting my tongue years later! :D My oldest's first name is my maiden name. It's actually regularly used as a boy name, but I've gotten a few comments I haven't appreciated at all. I wouldn't have used it had it not been a family name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 You have a PM. Personally, I'm really into the meanings of names. "Mom, what's my name mean? Where'd you get it?" "Well, Rango...there was this animated lizard..." :001_huh::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 You know my name. When my paternal Grandpa heard my name, he asked-told my parents "Well, you're going to call her by her middle name, right?" It's quite possible they'll change their minds, but it's also possible the name will grow on you once the cute little bambino is here. Well...it might :tongue_smilie:. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 OK, I probably would have responded similar. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when naming the baby after an animated character that is a lizard is clearly not a good choice. :glare: I would have been snarky too. Clearly, as you did, I would have realized that I probably should have kept my mouth, or fingers, closed. *sigh* At least it wasn't Orangejello and Yellowjello ... yes, these poor twins are doomed to orange jello and yellow jello names. Pronounced differently, but still jello!:001_huh: OH MY......my sister went to school with a set of twins with these names! Please tell me there are not two sets of twins running around the USA named after jello of all things! :svengo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 You know my name. When my paternal Grandpa heard my name, he asked-told my parents "Well, you're going to call her by her middle name, right?" It's quite possible they'll change their minds, but it's also possible the name will grow on you once the cute little bambino is here. Well...it might :tongue_smilie:. OMH!!!! I love your name -- out of all my kids' names, THAT is the name I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Actually, my advice is the opposite of most. Although it would take some inward strength, I would actually go completely 100% on board for the name and use it extensively. "I can't wait to hold Baby Rango." "How is Rango doing?" "Is Rango moving much??" I would say it very often and very lovingly. At least one of three things might possibly happen. 1.) They would hear it so much that maybe the novelty of it would wear off and they would hear it for how it really sounds and choose something else (at which point I would jump ship for the new name but beware it could be worse. 2.) They would appreciate your acceptance and support and would feel closer to you for it. 3.) After saying it so much you might forget how it sounds and just begin to love Baby Rango so much that it doesn't feel or sound as strange. These are the types of situations that separate the ok MIL's (or worse) from the great MIL's. Here's your chance to shine! :iagree::iagree::iagree: FTR, Wedge is on the table at my house (from Star Wars). There isn't a baby to name atm, but still. That will get a lot of :001_huh: if we do, lol. I actually put Neville on the table and dh said that was way too "pop culture"--Harry Potter :D--but then I brought up Wedge as we were watching Star Wars & he really likes that one. Which is also from pop culture :001_huh:, lol. So watch out--you might push them into something even weirder! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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