Music lessons: mandatory or optional for your dc?

[trailofsparks]

Dh and I have gone back and forth about music lessons for our dc. Finances have been tough lately, so none of them are taking lessons currently. But, oldest took lessons for years. . . and eventually talked us out of it. He would practice, b/c we made him, but he did so compliantly. It was obvious to us that his heart wasn't in it. Well, what really stopped the lessons was when we needed to switch teachers - his instructor's impatience (frustration, probably - she knew he was capable of more and that he wasn't "into" it) became intolerable. We felt she was killing anything our ds might have to give and that an inspiring instructor was the answer for him. So, we sought out other instructors and interviewed several. None were a good fit for us, various reasons; we kinda dropped the ball and never picked it back up. So, for these 2 reasons, ds has stopped music.

 

Enter dc #2 who wants to take music lessons, skips around whistling all.the.time. Music seems a part of her. Of all the kids, she likes to have music playing in the house. She heard the organ and decided that's what she wants to learn (but start w/piano).

 

Dc #3 says she wants to play piano, too.

 

It seems obvious to me that dc#2 should take lessons (when we are financially able). She will probably enjoy and excel. It also seems to me that dc#3 should have a shot at it to see if she enjoys it. It seems almost futile to me to make dc#1 practice 1+ hr each day when he could be doing something else productive or that he's interested in during that time. But I wonder if we are missing a good chunk of his education and if hindsight would bring regret.

 

I used to think everyone has at least a little music in them. I used to think my dc should all learn music theory and an instrument b/c it makes a person more well-rounded. You know, part of pursuing a classical education. Anymore, I'm not sure what to think.

 

If you have your dc in music is it b/c you want them to be well-rounded in their education? Or is it b/c they enjoy it? What's your position and why? I'm hoping you'll give my dh and me things to think about, and we can settle into what's right for our family. TIA!

[cathmom]

We do not have the time or the funds to make music mandatory.

[milovany]

We do not have the time or the funds to make music mandatory.

 

:iagree:

 

And I think our kids are well-rounded individuals all the same.

[Aggie]

Mandatory. Much like math and languages.

 

DD14 loves the piano and excels at it. She practices, on her own, 1-3 hours a day. She works at it also. It doesn't come easily to her.

 

DD15 wanted to quit last year. We didn't let her. She practices and is improving. I have to MAKE her practice 30 min a day, even now. She enjoys it more now, but she'd still quit in a heartbeat if we let her. Ironically, the piano teacher told me that this is the dd with the most natural talent she's seen.

 

Our current teacher left the area, so we're looking for 2 different teachers this year. 14yodd needs an experienced, driven, motivated teacher who will challenge dd. 15yodd needs a relaxed, plays-for-fun teacher who will give dd more fun pieces. Not too much challenging music, but not too easy.

 

Would your ds like a different instrument? Guitar or violin?

[trailofsparks]

Mandatory. Much like math and languages.

 

DD14 loves the piano and excels at it. She practices, on her own, 1-3 hours a day. She works at it also. It doesn't come easily to her.

 

DD15 wanted to quit last year. We didn't let her. She practices and is improving. I have to MAKE her practice 30 min a day, even now. She enjoys it more now, but she'd still quit in a heartbeat if we let her. Ironically, the piano teacher told me that this is the dd with the most natural talent she's seen.

 

Our current teacher left the area, so we're looking for 2 different teachers this year. 14yodd needs an experienced, driven, motivated teacher who will challenge dd. 15yodd needs a relaxed, plays-for-fun teacher who will give dd more fun pieces. Not too much challenging music, but not too easy.

 

Would your ds like a different instrument? Guitar or violin?

 

Ds12 played violin. When he started, he begged us to be able to play. He was 2 yrs old and didn't stop asking until, at age 4.5, we started him. He says he doesn't want to play any musical instrument. I see his wheelworks going when he sees a friend of his playing piano or trumpet and I wonder. But he says no, he doesn't miss it, doesn't want it.

 

I do like your idea of having different types of instructor for your different dc. That's a good idea: a teacher who keeps it light, makes it fun. Hmmm. Thx.

[Alenee]

For dd #1, it would become mandatory if she suddenly decided to quit because we'd know it was a symptom of a larger problem. She LOVES piano and plays every chance she gets.

 

With dd #2, she tried piano but quit and at the time, I allowed it. She was only 7yo. She began guitar lessons this year at 9yo and while she hasn't said the word "quit" yet, I believe she would because it's so difficult. This dd needs to learn the discipline of keeping at it, even when it becomes hard. If after a few years it really isn't meshing, then I'd probably let it go.

 

DD #3 is ready to begin piano and I think she has a similar love for it that our oldest dd has so I doubt we'll have any issues. If we do though, my opinion is that you stick with it for at least two years, if not three, and only after that will we discuss the options.

 

For us, it's not about having well-rounded kids. We want to encourage their interests but also to instill discipline through challenges and commitments.

[*Lulu*]

Music is non-negotiable here, but I think that happens when both parents are musicians. :rolleyes:

 

Our deal is that the kids must learn piano until they are able to read music and have a basic grasp on theory. After that they can choose another instrument, or no instrument.

 

All our children at this point are being taught piano at home. None of them has yet developed the skill/passion beyond my ability to teach, so I can't speak to the financial impact of outside lessons.

[Aggie]

One more thought...

 

Our 14yodd takes an hour lesson and practices at least an hour/day.

 

15yodd takes a 30 min lesson and practices 30min/day.

 

They both take voice, which 15yodd enjoys more than piano.:001_smile:

[Alenee]

 

14yodd needs an experienced, driven, motivated teacher who will challenge dd. 15yodd needs a relaxed, plays-for-fun teacher who will give dd more fun pieces. Not too much challenging music, but not too easy.

 

 

:iagree: Exactly what we've found with dd#1 and #2.

[wapiti]

If we didn't have the funds, obviously my answer would be different, but in our house, piano is mandatory. My main reasons, in order of importance, are (1) brain training, (2) persistance with something difficult to help perfectionism issues, and (3) music knowledge. It's definitely along the lines of math and languages here.

 

Because they're just kids, they have varying degrees of self-discipline, and I have to be the discipline for them. That is, for some of them I have to sit with them during practicing, or at a minimum walk (drag?) them over to the piano and require them to practice. (I think lessons are pointless without regular practice.)

 

After three years of piano lessons, dd10 is doing quite nicely and is self-motivated. She often practices first thing in the morning - I am awakened by the piano under my bedroom at 6:30. One ds8 has had his occasional lack of discipline but voluntarily practiced every day this week - yay! He's doing pretty well too. Other ds8 got fired from the piano teacher so I am working with him at home until he can remember how to read music again :glare: (thanks in part to my failure to make up for his lack of self-discipline with my own discipline) but I am determined not to let him quit. He needs this. He has perfectionism issues - he avoids tasks he thinks will be too challenging, but with piano he sees, week in and week out, that if he works hard, even just a little hard, he can accomplish something - he can learn that song that at first he dismissed as impossible. Plus I think his complete lack of rhythm has improved slightly :)

[PeterPan]

Well I'd like to think I could make my child be everything I dream up, just by plunking out the money and scheduling it in. Some people just genetically don't have it, and fighting against that, telling a kid they OUGHT to be good at it or COULD be good at it if they tried hard enough both might NOT be true and might be missing time they could have spent more productively elsewhere.

 

So yes, you have a compliant son who will bang on the instrument an hour a day if you make him. But could that time be better spent elsewhere, doing something else he's actually going to be good at, something that will become a lifelong skill for him? That's what I'd ask. It's just pride to say every child *has* to do such and such. Not every child can, and frankly, 50 years from now it won't matter.

[myfunnybunch]

Mandatory. All three boys are in a choir, and in the fall they will all be taking lessons on an instrument.

 

My middle ds would rather not. His brothers play/will play piano. I told middle ds that some sort of instrument is mandatory the year he's 8 at the beginning of the school year, and he will have to play for at least 2-3 years. I did let him choose a different instrument than his brothers. It's taken a year for him to decide, but he's just now getting excited about taking guitar lessons in the fall.

 

I do believe that music lesson are a part of a well-rounded education, but not necessarily for every single person. If your eldest ds has taken lessons, including theory, for years and it's not his thing, that's ok. He gave it a go and it wasn't for him. He can always pick it up in the future if his interest blossoms. In your shoes, if it's financially feasible at some point, I think I'd offer to sign him up for music lessons, but maybe not piano...let him really think about music a different way: Drums, or guitar, or flute, or choir. If he's still not interested, so be it. :)

 

Cat

[DaffodilDreams]

Optional. Mine likes her lessons but hates to practice, so she is taking a forced break for now. I may relent soon and give it another try.

[myfunnybunch]

It's just pride to say every child *has* to do such and such.

 

My kids *have* to do math and grammar. ;)

 

I know it's not the same, but for a musical family like ours, it's not pride so much as it is wanting to make sure our kids have a good solid education in a subject that's important to us. It's not one we expect to be as commonly held (by other families) to be a mandatory subject like math or spelling or science, but something we value highly as a family. We don't expect our children to play musical instruments forever, any more than we expect them to go on to be mathemeticians, but they must take music lessons for enough time to get a good understanding of how music works.

 

Cat

[Crissy]

Optional. My 17yo dabbles in guitar and, more recently, drums. He practices a couple times a week.

My 12yo plays violin for the local junior high orchestra, and a youth orchestra. He also has a weekly private lesson and practices for an hour most days.

We decided to let them do as much or as little as they want to do.

[violinmom]

Musician here as well, so yes, they all take lessons. I start them all on violin, and some have gone on to other things like voice or piano, and some have stayed on violin.

[Cassy]

Mandatory. DS12 and DS10 both play piano, DS12 also plays trombone, DS10 the cornet. Both would be happy to give up, and grumble a bit at times about practice, but DH and I consider it to be part of their education. DS10 in particular is most keen to give up, but he would give up everything except playing video games and kicking a ball around if allowed :glare:. He is very musical and his teacher says he is very talented. At the moment we can force the issue a bit as he was due to go back to school this year, but has begged for another year of homeschool, and so my position is that if he wants to be homeschooled he has to accept that music is part of our curriculum :D.

[Heather in Neverland]

Mandatory. Just like math and reading. They do like it but they do not love it. Either way they are still doing it just as they do their math and reading. If they didn't like it at all it would be a shame but their tastes are not being consulted... they are being developed. I will appreciate it for them until they are old enough to appreciate it themselves.

[Sandra in FL]

Dd did violin for many years before eventually topping out (physically) in Suzuki book 4 & 5. She has 4 missing fingers and 1 short bone for a thumb. She stopped lessons when the bowing got too difficult for her. She'll still play for pleasure or some times at family gatherings.

 

My 2 younger sons did piano. The 12 year old has dropped out, but he was never a musical child. The youngest (9) enjoys it and has recently started up again after taking a break.

 

If finances are difficult, may I suggest Music Ace 1 & 2 (computer software that teaches notes, theory, etc. - try the library). The internet probably has lots out there - maybe you could find a message board of music teachers and ask advice. I'd also check out music students at local college/university for cheap lessons. You could use music books that with CD (to practise along with). If my dc had interest, I'd try to encourage them to learn. Playing a musical instrument is so much more difficult to learn as an adult.

 

I'd also check out your local public school for orchestra/band classes. Here in S. Fla we're allowed to take 2 classes at the local ps. Also the (city) children's orchestras some times offer financial aid with instruments/lessons/joining the orchestra.

[TravelingChris]

I guess I would say mandatory here but since all the kids wanted to do some form of music-and all had choir experience and piano lessons, plus older had trombone, middle had organ and self taught recorder, youngest had recorder, guitar, and trumpet, I am not sure how to answer.

 

I would have required some music instruction since dh thinks this was a big omission in his life that he regrets his parents didn't do. Now that I think of it, our kids wonderful slates of activities are due to mostly my dh's lack of childhood activities as he was growing up.

[Lolly]

Mandatory for 1-2 years, then optional. One of those years must be in high school for credit.

[Giraffe]

Mandatory for us.

 

DD is very musical - sings, plays on any toy instrument she can get her hands on. Composes her own songs, demands custom songs from us. Sings instead of speaks when she communicates. We started her on violin and she's doing well for such a little one. If she wasn't so musical I don't know if we'd make it mandatory. Maybe.

[EthiopianFood]

Dd did violin for many years before eventually topping out (physically) in Suzuki book 4 & 5. She has 4 missing fingers and 1 short bone for a thumb. She stopped lessons when the bowing got too difficult for her. She'll still play for pleasure or some times at family gatherings.

 

:001_smile: Your dd is awesome. :D

[Donna]

I wanted all my dc to learn to play some type of instrument in the beginning. I don't know that I would have used the word mandatory. I considered it as important as any other part of their schooling but I am not sure I would have forced them to learn if any had balked because I was forced to learn piano and I don't enjoy playing or play much now. The playing for enjoyment was a more important goal to me. I allowed each to pick their instrument and ended up with a drummer, a guitarist (now multi-instrumentalist with banjo, mandolin, and a desire to get a bouzouki), and a violinist/fiddler. They all love their instruments now and playing is a part of their identities now.

 

The boys have taken breaks from their instrument lessons at different points in time. My oldest needed to take a break from drums during wrestling season this part year because his high school practices and matches took up all his afterschool time but as soon as the season ended he asked to go back. He is good enough now, he could be teaching but still enjoys getting together with his teacher every week.

 

My middle started guitar at 6yo on a small acoustic then wanted to switch to an electric guitar but his hands were too small, his teacher was young and inexperienced so didn't make lessons very fun or educational, and he didn't want to practice. He took a year hiatus then we found him a better teacher. The improved maturity along with a better teacher have allowed him to blossom.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I was forced to take piano lessons for 7 years, and I really can't play the piano. I don't have the desire or the talent. I did learn basic music theory from it, which I appreciate. I'm teaching the kids music on the recorder, and ask them periodically if they are interested in learning an instrument, but so far no interest. I won't make it mandatory.

[Rhonda in TX]

Music is our "thing", though. Some families are into sports or other things like that. For us, it's music.

 

DS plays viola. He fights it most of the time. However, left to his own devices he would only play video games, so he doesn't get a vote. He does enjoy performing, it's just the practicing he complains about.

 

DD plays cello. She is pretty willing and takes it more seriously. Joining a youth orchestra has made a huge difference in her attitude. She really enjoys that.

 

Both kids take private lessons and play with an area youth orchestra (not a homeschool group). Lessons are expensive. Youth orchestra is expensive. We make it a priority. MIL also believes it's important and helps us out financially sometimes.

 

We don't expect the kids to make it a profession, but we want them to have the option of playing as adults if they choose. DH plays double bass and has played with several area orchestras over the years.

[Rhonda in TX]

My kids *have* to do math and grammar. ;)

 

I know it's not the same, but for a musical family like ours, it's not pride so much as it is wanting to make sure our kids have a good solid education in a subject that's important to us. It's not one we expect to be as commonly held (by other families) to be a mandatory subject like math or spelling or science, but something we value highly as a family. We don't expect our children to play musical instruments forever, any more than we expect them to go on to be mathemeticians, but they must take music lessons for enough time to get a good understanding of how music works.

 

Cat

 

Exactly.

[Alice]

Well I'd like to think I could make my child be everything I dream up, just by plunking out the money and scheduling it in. Some people just genetically don't have it, and fighting against that, telling a kid they OUGHT to be good at it or COULD be good at it if they tried hard enough both might NOT be true and might be missing time they could have spent more productively elsewhere.

 

So yes, you have a compliant son who will bang on the instrument an hour a day if you make him. But could that time be better spent elsewhere, doing something else he's actually going to be good at, something that will become a lifelong skill for him? That's what I'd ask. It's just pride to say every child *has* to do such and such. Not every child can, and frankly, 50 years from now it won't matter.

 

I don't see it as pride. I'm making it mandatory right now. I consider it part of a full education. I don't expect my kids to be great at playing an instrument or even good enough to play as an adult. But I look at the grammar years as exposing them to many things that may not be lifelong skills or you could say won't "matter" in 50 years. Isn't part of the purpose of classical education to not just learn things for their "usefulness" but to also learn things just for the sake of learning. Learning music and music theory is useful just in itself.

 

Our situation is a little different in that we are not a musical family. I'm tone-deaf or pretty near. Dh likes music but doesn't play anything. We're not a family where music is part of our lives. If I could teach it myself or if it was part of our family culture I might feel less strongly about making it mandatory as an outside lesson. But in 1 1/2 years of lessons my 7 year old already has surpassed my own musical knowledge.

 

I only have my oldest in piano right now and so far he really likes it. We found a teacher who is a great fit and it's one of his favorite things. So it isn't really an issue. My plan is that they will take piano as long as they want or at least through elementary school. If one of them absolutely hates it I'd consider letting them quit but trying to have them do some other kind of musical education.

 

I'll also say that dh's sister pays for the lessons and gave us a piano. We are incredibly blessed in that regard and I realize that is not the situation for a lot of families.

[angela in ohio]

Mandatory music lessons here as part of their education. For one thing, it is easier than me trying to teach music at home. For another, it is an incredible way to learn discipline and commitment. Not all of my dc are "naturals" musically, but they have all become competent in their instrument and have seen their lives enriched by it. It is a commitment we don't take lightly ($450/mo total :001_huh: not to mention hauling them around to lessons and performances.)

[bettyandbob]

The children's choir program at my church teaches music theory.The kids have to be in at least 4th grade to do it. It was a great option for exposing my dd to formal instruction. I was really sorry when dd decided it was not for her, but I could tell at their performances that she did not like it.

 

I think it's great to get in a couple years of basic instruction if you can find an affordable way to do it. But there's no reason to feel you've limited their education if you can't fit it in.

[angela in ohio]

Well I'd like to think I could make my child be everything I dream up, just by plunking out the money and scheduling it in. Some people just genetically don't have it, and fighting against that, telling a kid they OUGHT to be good at it or COULD be good at it if they tried hard enough both might NOT be true and might be missing time they could have spent more productively elsewhere.

 

So yes, you have a compliant son who will bang on the instrument an hour a day if you make him. But could that time be better spent elsewhere, doing something else he's actually going to be good at, something that will become a lifelong skill for him? That's what I'd ask. It's just pride to say every child *has* to do such and such. Not every child can, and frankly, 50 years from now it won't matter.

 

With all due respect, no, it's just parenting. :001_smile: There are many things I tell my dc they have to do. Why would this one be singled out as pride?

 

After you have dc who are not musical learn to enjoy an instrument, you see the benefit. No, not everyone will be that famous pianist, just as not everyone who takes art lessons will be a famous painter. That takes the extra "something" that not everyone has. But it enriches your life to learn competence in art and music, and anyone can do that. And yes, every child can produce music of some sort, with practice and teaching. It's a form of self-expression, and I think everyone could use more ways to express themselves, because it makes you happy. :001_smile: It may not be the art they end up choosing (they may prefer to write or draw or act or dance,) but why deny them a potential opportunity? I am letting my dc try them all now, while they are young and have the time. You really never know what you truly enjoy until you try something long enough to be good at it.

 

And that's not even getting in to the educational value of music. I would argue that because of the skills of dedication and concentration, and the educational value, that it will matter in 50 years whether someone took music lessons.

 

It's funny, because as I look at the sacrifices other moms and I make for music lessons, pride is the last thing that comes to mind. It's been non-stop self-sacrifice that has led to my dc being able to enjoy music. When I attend their performances, I am not proud for myself for having dc who play well, I cry tears of happiness for them achieving so much through hard work. There aren't enough opportunities for young people to get positive feedback for working hard.

 

Anyway, I don't think less of anyone who doesn't choose to have their dc take music lessons, but I wanted to say that there are no selfish motives on the part of those who do make it mandatory (most of us, at least.) :001_smile: Just trying to do the best for our children, based on the information we have...

[angela in ohio]

Dh and I have gone back and forth about music lessons for our dc. Finances have been tough lately, so none of them are taking lessons currently. But, oldest took lessons for years. . . and eventually talked us out of it. He would practice, b/c we made him, but he did so compliantly. It was obvious to us that his heart wasn't in it. Well, what really stopped the lessons was when we needed to switch teachers - his instructor's impatience (frustration, probably - she knew he was capable of more and that he wasn't "into" it) became intolerable. We felt she was killing anything our ds might have to give and that an inspiring instructor was the answer for him. So, we sought out other instructors and interviewed several. None were a good fit for us, various reasons; we kinda dropped the ball and never picked it back up. So, for these 2 reasons, ds has stopped music.

 

Enter dc #2 who wants to take music lessons, skips around whistling all.the.time. Music seems a part of her. Of all the kids, she likes to have music playing in the house. She heard the organ and decided that's what she wants to learn (but start w/piano).

 

Dc #3 says she wants to play piano, too.

 

It seems obvious to me that dc#2 should take lessons (when we are financially able). She will probably enjoy and excel. It also seems to me that dc#3 should have a shot at it to see if she enjoys it. It seems almost futile to me to make dc#1 practice 1+ hr each day when he could be doing something else productive or that he's interested in during that time. But I wonder if we are missing a good chunk of his education and if hindsight would bring regret.

!

 

If you can do it financially, I would have all three take lessons. Oldest might feel left out, and he might miss out one something he would really enjoy. Having two other piano students in the house and a good teacher may make all the difference in the world! :001_smile:

[lllll]

...

Edited December 19, 2012 by ksva

[Jenny in Florida]

We're lucky that, by the time our kids were old enough to be ready for formal lessons, we could afford to provide them. However, even before that, we did some music at home.

 

I bought a couple of simple, inexpensive piano teaching books and taught our daughter some basic things on a keyboard friends had given to us.

 

Both kids had inexpensive recorders and instruction books.

 

We listened to classical music and learned about composers by reading from library books. I bought a classical music curriculum for $30 that had lessons introducing various composers and some basic theory, too.

 

Both kids have sung with a local choir that follows the Royal School of Church Music curriculum. Tuition for the choir is $300 per year, and scholarships are readily available for those who can't afford it.

 

My son took drum lessons for almost two years for free with a local bagpipe band who was trying to recruit new members and was willing to teach.

 

Once we were in a position to do private lessons, my daughter took piano and then classical guitar. My son took piano and then pipe organ.

 

As it has turned out, both of them have come to prefer voice as their "instrument." My daughter just finished her B.A. with a minor in music (voice) and is currently teaching herself to play the ukelele. My son is still singing with the choir and is taking private voice lessons.

 

So, yes, in our world, some kind of music instruction for at least several years is a mandatory part of a well-rounded education. But we're pretty flexible about what kind of instruction and definitely adjust our requirements to meet what we can manage at the momemt.

[Mom-ninja.]

Mandatory here. As my kids get older we'll see how it goes.

[Dmmetler]

Music is mandatory, but a specific instrument isn't. If DD decides she doesn't want to play an instrument and it becomes a constant fight, we'll still continue music literature, history, and theory. I'd prefer her to get at least one instrument and voice to a life-long performance level (IE-the level where you can play in church, accompany sing-alongs, and be welcomed in community bands, church choirs and the like), but it doesn't matter WHAT instrument or instruments that ends up being. At age 6, her choices are pretty limited. By age 12, they won't be.

[J-rap]

...

Edited September 24, 2023 by J-rap

[Tess in the Burbs]

well, we spent money on lessons even when financially we shouldn't have. But no regrets. both kids begged for lessons. after 1 year ds asked to stop. It was hard to let him, but he wouldn't practice. Dd is doing great and will continue. In fact she wants to pick up another instrument. and we will most likely let her.

 

ds has no activities right now...and I wish he would pick another instrument but music isn't for everyone. He was good when he played but I hope he will have interest later on by us not pushing him now. His teacher felt the same way...he was good and if he wants to do it later it's best not to push now. Ds cried a few weeks after quitting b/c he was afraid he'd lose his talent. And he is. But it was his choice.

[DesertDweller]

I don't consider it mandatory. If I had a child that was uninterested or upset with the idea, I wouldn't force them.

 

However, I think, IMO, it's best to try to expose kids to a variety of things when they're young as far as music, sports, and art are concerned. Give them a chance to try things. Encourage them in whatever interests they may have or find things you think they might enjoy. You can usually tell after awhile if it's something that they will excel in or continue to show a strong interest in pursuing.

 

Both of my kids took music lessons and continued with them for many years. Dd is still taking piano and will continue to do so through high school. Ds took drum lessons for many years and really enjoyed it. It was/is quite expensive at times, but well worth it. Neither was much into sports, so it worked out to spend money on music lessons as opposed to other things.

 

I started out with what I would call low end lessons. Ds took a group band lesson his first year that was very inexpensive. After seeing he had an interest, we switched over to a teacher at a local music store. He spent a few years there. After that we switched to a teacher that was more expensive but came highly recommended and could help him with more advanced work.

 

Same thing with dd. She spent a year taking inexpensive group lessons. From there we moved to an individual lesson. After a few years and knowing that she wanted to pursue more indepth instruction, we found a wonderful teacher that could help her develop her skills.

[NanceXToo]

Optional. Music is a "required subject" here in PA but there are plenty of other ways to cover "music" as a subject other than actual lessons. If my child didn't want lessons, I certainly wouldn't waste my time transporting her, my money paying for it, stressing over trying to enforce practice time or any of that. Nope, not me! I'd rather do that stuff for things they ARE interested in.

[unsinkable]

Well I'd like to think I could make my child be everything I dream up, just by plunking out the money and scheduling it in. Some people just genetically don't have it, and fighting against that, telling a kid they OUGHT to be good at it or COULD be good at it if they tried hard enough both might NOT be true and might be missing time they could have spent more productively elsewhere.

 

So yes, you have a compliant son who will bang on the instrument an hour a day if you make him. But could that time be better spent elsewhere, doing something else he's actually going to be good at, something that will become a lifelong skill for him? That's what I'd ask. It's just pride to say every child *has* to do such and such. Not every child can, and frankly, 50 years from now it won't matter.

 

actually, for us, it is state regulations that say we have to do music lessons.

 

:lol:

 

It doesn't have to be instruments, necessarily, but it has to be music. Art is separate in elem. grades.

[roxanne23]

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Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[trailofsparks]

If finances are difficult, may I suggest Music Ace 1 & 2 (computer software that teaches notes, theory, etc. - try the library). The internet probably has lots out there - maybe you could find a message board of music teachers and ask advice. I'd also check out music students at local college/university for cheap lessons. You could use music books that with CD (to practise along with). If my dc had interest, I'd try to encourage them to learn. Playing a musical instrument is so much more difficult to learn as an adult.

 

I'd also check out your local public school for orchestra/band classes. Here in S. Fla we're allowed to take 2 classes at the local ps. Also the (city) children's orchestras some times offer financial aid with instruments/lessons/joining the orchestra.

 

Thank you for these suggestions! It's the piano that we need. Years ago, someone gave us one - I took it sight unseen, which was foolish. It needed work, a couple keys were sluggish. We ended up paying $75 to have it removed, which was a bargain. I know we can have an inspector take a look before purchasing another. . . or we can buy digital which is less expensive, but. . . well, when it comes to music, I seem to be paralyzed with ineptitude :D I am decisive when it comes to any other part of my dc's education. Hmmm. Once again the thought, "May my kids not be so incompetent as I am". Maybe I have my answer!

[trailofsparks]

I guess I would say mandatory here but since all the kids wanted to do some form of music-and all had choir experience and piano lessons, plus older had trombone, middle had organ and self taught recorder, youngest had recorder, guitar, and trumpet, I am not sure how to answer.

 

I would have required some music instruction since dh thinks this was a big omission in his life that he regrets his parents didn't do. Now that I think of it, our kids wonderful slates of activities are due to mostly my dh's lack of childhood activities as he was growing up.

 

Yes, this is what my dh and I have thought, too.

[trailofsparks]

Mandatory for 1-2 years, then optional. One of those years must be in high school for credit.

 

Ah, OK. I never thought of it in terms of hs credits. Thx.

[trailofsparks]

:001_smile: Your dd is awesome. :D

 

Btw, I so agree!

[trailofsparks]

.

 

My middle started guitar at 6yo on a small acoustic then wanted to switch to an electric guitar but his hands were too small, his teacher was young and inexperienced so didn't make lessons very fun or educational, and he didn't want to practice. He took a year hiatus then we found him a better teacher. The improved maturity along with a better teacher have allowed him to blossom.

 

Glad you said this. I do think a good teacher can make all the difference -or maybe I've just hoped it, cuz I've seen the other end of the spectrum and I let it go on for too long. Damage has been done, but I would love to see him learn under a fun, patient teacher. I appreciate your input, it's definitely got me thinking!

[trailofsparks]

Both kids take private lessons and play with an area youth orchestra (not a homeschool group)

 

 

Back in the day, I thought about this b/c ds is very social and likes to be around peers. I can see there are certain instruments where it would be more fun to be involved in an orchestra or at least a quartet. Thx for this idea, I'll tuck it away.

[catz]

It's definitely mandatory for us. It was one thing that I did in my child hood that I really wanted to do for my kids. My kids started kindermusik as toddlers which was a great lead in to private lessons and there was never a question of "if", it was a question of "when".

 

My son started piano at 5 and has now been playing for 5 years. My daughter started violin at 4 and has been play for a little over 2 years. For both of my kids, they had to get beyond a certain level before real enjoyment kicked in. My oldest is definitely in it for the long haul now and is playing quite advanced for his age. My younger is doing great, but still has her days. She loves lessons and especially group lessons. The day to day grind can be hard for her yet.

 

We go to a large music school that does amazing outreach programs. To the elderly, to low income schools, and other community organizations. It brings tears to my eyes to see what joy can come from making or hearing music. Our violin teacher teaches Autistic kids, a child with a trach, and another child with SPD. She told me watching these kids grow through music over the years has been one of her greatest joys. Suzuki in particular can lend itself well to any child that has an engaged and committed parent.

 

That said, I don't think it's necessary for every family. I don't teach Latin at my house (just roots). Some families think Latin is mandatory. Every family should be free to choose their own priorities. I do music WITH my kids. It is joyful for me, so I think it's easier for it to be joyful for them. If I sat my kid down at the piano and said practice for an hour every day without me being involved, that would not work for us at all. They're getting more self motivated as time goes on but it's a marathon not a sprint for us.

 

I also think a good teacher fit can make a HUGE difference in being successful. For us it's about learning to work hard at something that continually ramps up. A great lesson for kids that have an easy time at academics.

Edited May 26, 2011 by kck

[trailofsparks]

It's been non-stop self-sacrifice that has led to my dc being able to enjoy music. When I attend their performances, I am not proud for myself for having dc who play well, I cry tears of happiness for them achieving so much through hard work. There aren't enough opportunities for young people to get positive feedback for working hard.

 

Definitely involves a lot of sacrifice. Thanks for sharing this.