Kindergarten boy suspended for crying.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

"There's no crying in kindergarten!!"

 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/crying-foul-kindergartener-gets-suspended-for-tearing-up/article1963875/

[MrsBasil]

I wonder if there's anything more to his suspension? I would love to hear from the school, but at face value it's ridiculous.

[SonshineLearner]

This is the Lawyer that taught at the Law School that my dad attended. Good to know that John Whitehead is busy defending 6 year olds. :)

[jewellsmommy]

Wow, this is the second elementary school in my area that has made the news for something dumb. I started a thread about the Norfolk teacher and the "slave auctioning" thing. :001_huh:

 

That must have been some serious crying. Why would it need to come to a suspension? I totally understand calling for the parents to pick him up, but a suspension seems severe.

[Impish]

My eldest was threatened with suspension from kinder for the same reason...crying. Nothing surprises me anymore.

[AndyJoy]

This sounds ridiculous on the face of it, but I suspect it was more than simply crying. I'm picturing a long drawn out temper tantrum with tears. I've known kids who could throw a doozy of a tantrum, lasting an hour or more! When I was in elementary school, they had a padded room where they would take kids who had violent fits until they calmed down. I bet you're not allowed to do this anymore, as it often required the principal to carry the child there and/or hold the door shut.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I wonder if there's anything more to his suspension? I would love to hear from the school, but at face value it's ridiculous.

 

 

Yeah, I keep wondering if there is more to the story, too. I mean, really, if we are talking 6 hours a day of crying then, yeah, SOMETHING would need to be done. Of course, my something is not suspension, it would be intervention. :confused:

[AndyJoy]

You know, it seems to me that suspension might actually be more effective for a kindergartner than for older kids. It has such a stigma attached to it, but it's really like a long timeout if the kid is young and enjoys school. For older kids, it's not as effective because they don't want to be at school anyway!

[MrsBasil]

Yeah, I keep wondering if there is more to the story, too. I mean, really, if we are talking 6 hours a day of crying then, yeah, SOMETHING would need to be done. Of course, my something is not suspension, it would be intervention. :confused:

 

Ha, that was my first thought. If his crying is so disruptive he needs a counselor.

 

I do wonder though...I've known a few kids who have been trained by their parents that throwing tantrums(crying, screaming etc.) lets them get their way and he could be carrying that behavior over to school on a regular basis. That's pure speculation, but if he regularly throws fits the school may be at their wits end. Still...that seems like a need for help, not suspension??

[Margo out of lurking]

AND another parent considers homeschooling . . .

[Audrey]

"There's no crying in kindergarten!!"

 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/crying-foul-kindergartener-gets-suspended-for-tearing-up/article1963875/

 

 

That's disgusting.

 

I cried in kindergarten. I cried everyday for the first few weeks. It wasn't because I missed my mommy or anything. It was because the school was near the base and every morning there would be a group of officers walk by the school and I could see them from our kinder room. My mommy had told me that if any men in uniform came to the door I was to go get her right away. I was not stupid and I knew what that meant because my little friend got one of those visits once and her daddy never came home again. I cried because I was afraid they were coming to tell me my daddy was dead and wasn't ever coming home again. My teacher cared enough to find out what it was that was making me cry. When she did, she explained why those men walked by and I understood (because kindergarteners have brains and can comprehend things, too ya know!) and after that it was okay.

 

So... f*** that!! :cursing: There IS crying in kindergarten and any jerk who can't be bothered to find out why the child is crying and then do something to help them doesn't deserve to be left alone with children EVER.

 

And, they can stick THAT in their pipe and smoke it!! :smash:

[MinivanMom]

My kindergartner would not cut it in that school.

[MtnTeaching]

Hmmm. If I were a kid this kid's class and saw that just for crying I could go home and be with my mommy all day... I would start a "cry fest"!!!

 

Do you think the crying in Kindergarten has picked up since the suspension??

[elegantlion]

:confused: I wonder if there was a school nurse on staff? If he truly were interrupting the "educational process" :glare: shouldn't he have simply been sent to the nurse's office to chill out? What about a school counselor?

 

Would love to read the rest of the story. :glare:

Edited April 16, 2011 by elegantlion

[Hunter's Moon]

The worst that happened to me was being called a "cry baby" by the teacher's assistant (how mature).

 

Suspension is ridiculous. I would have been expelled from that school then.

 

There has to be more.

 

If there isn't though, I wouldn't be all that surprised...

[NanceXToo]

Ridiculous.

 

But then again when my daughter (now 10) was in public school Kindergarten, there was also no more than a ten minute recess (which was often "lost" as a punishment for things like "talking too much" in the classroom).

 

There were silent lunches.

 

There was day long deskwork.

 

There was homework.

 

All of these things were so they could be prepared for standardized testing. There's no time for crying when you're being prepared for standardized testing <eyeroll>.

 

Kindergarten is a pretty sad state of affairs these days. Nothing like the Kindergarten *I* so fondly remember.

[FaithManor]

That's disgusting.

 

I cried in kindergarten. I cried everyday for the first few weeks. It wasn't because I missed my mommy or anything. It was because the school was near the base and every morning there would be a group of officers walk by the school and I could see them from our kinder room. My mommy had told me that if any men in uniform came to the door I was to go get her right away. I was not stupid and I knew what that meant because my little friend got one of those visits once and her daddy never came home again. I cried because I was afraid they were coming to tell me my daddy was dead and wasn't ever coming home again. My teacher cared enough to find out what it was that was making me cry. When she did, she explained why those men walked by and I understood (because kindergarteners have brains and can comprehend things, too ya know!) and after that it was okay.

 

So... f*** that!! :cursing: There IS crying in kindergarten and any jerk who can't be bothered to find out why the child is crying and then do something to help them doesn't deserve to be left alone with children EVER.

 

And, they can stick THAT in their pipe and smoke it!! :smash:

 

Audrey is my hero!

 

Oh, and dh says he'd be willing to provide a "special" pipe packed with his own unique mix of homemade rocket fuel.

 

Wow, the child needs help not punishment.

 

Faith

[unsinkable]

I suspect I'll never forget a boy named John when I was in first grade. He got in trouble and had to stay in the room instead of going to an assembly or something. He cried so hard he threw up all over the floor.

 

I remember getting weepy about the whole thing b/c it was so intense for me to just witness.

[FO4UR]

Unreal!

 

I believe it though...age-appropriate behavior is not allowed in school. Classroom management is king and the almighty test is god.

 

I was refused the right to urinate in the 1st grade. If *I* were to do that at home with my kids, it would be considered abuse. (I would never do that btw!!!) In a classroom, it was glossed over and *I* was in the wrong for not having a bladder big enough (I had chronic bladder/kidney infections at the time btw.)

 

6yo's cry. If you can't deal, don't teach kindergarten.

[5knights3maidens]

Wow, I would have been expelled. I cried alot. I honestly missed my mom. I recently told her this and she said no teacher ever told her. I told her I would have been a good candidate for homeschool. ;)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

A little girl in my son's class last year used to cry every single morning. Not just the first few weeks of school either. She eventually started puking from crying so hard. The teacher did NOTHING about it. She just let her cry.

 

I had to have a Dr's note for my son to use the bathroom AS NEEDED, not just as scheduled! We're talking about a kid who started kindy at 4, and hadn't been potty trained a full year yet!

 

This girl and my son frequently lost "fun friday" for their behaviors, some of which we so beyond normal (ex. My son got into a "fight" with a little girl one day and told her "that's it! you're not my friend anymore!" I was so happy to hear of this normal kindy social interaction, and what happens? He lost all 30 minutes of fun friday.)

 

This teacher was the first to go with budget cuts.

 

This is just to say that I'd believe it if there was not more to this story.

[kwg]

Wow, this is the second elementary school in my area that has made the news for something dumb. I started a thread about the Norfolk teacher and the "slave auctioning" thing. :001_huh:

 

That must have been some serious crying. Why would it need to come to a suspension? I totally understand calling for the parents to pick him up, but a suspension seems severe.

 

I know. I saw this and thought uhoh here goes another one. What is up with this side of the water lately? jeeze.

[lionfamily1999]

That's disgusting.

 

I cried in kindergarten. I cried everyday for the first few weeks. It wasn't because I missed my mommy or anything. It was because the school was near the base and every morning there would be a group of officers walk by the school and I could see them from our kinder room. My mommy had told me that if any men in uniform came to the door I was to go get her right away. I was not stupid and I knew what that meant because my little friend got one of those visits once and her daddy never came home again. I cried because I was afraid they were coming to tell me my daddy was dead and wasn't ever coming home again. My teacher cared enough to find out what it was that was making me cry. When she did, she explained why those men walked by and I understood (because kindergarteners have brains and can comprehend things, too ya know!) and after that it was okay.

 

So... f*** that!! :cursing: There IS crying in kindergarten and any jerk who can't be bothered to find out why the child is crying and then do something to help them doesn't deserve to be left alone with children EVER.

 

And, they can stick THAT in their pipe and smoke it!! :smash:

:grouphug: It's too bad you couldn't walk him to school on Monday.

[LisaKinVA]

I have to say, it doesn't surprise me. This was one of the reasons my oldest son was "too immature" for K. He cried when he got an answer wrong, would cry if someone looked at him funny, would cry because he was tired, would cry if he got hurt, would cry if something was "too hard."

 

Yeah, he cried a lot.

 

And, because he is also a social butterfly, and would have finished his work early, would probably have lost recess for talking too much, and then been crying some more!

 

Homeschooling was truly our only choice.

[blakereese]

I guess this really doesn't surprise me. There has to be more to the story, but it still seems harsh for kindergarten. Or even elementary school.

 

BUT, there isn't time for feelings in the classroom anymore. The class sizes have become too large, and it is all about teaching children to be little robots so everything can get done. At my son's school last year, there were so many boys being sent to the principal's office for just being little boys. Things like being fidgety or dropping their pencil repeatedly were turning into big deals. The teachers didn't have time to deal with it, there were 35 (!!) other kids in the room, and they couldn't have distractions like that. It was really sad.

 

I know I cried in kindergarten. Many times. Heck, I cried several times at my son's school last year, after seeing how bad things were at the school. I have very fond memories from elementary school, and it makes me sad what is happening in so many schools now.

[elegantlion]

And, because he is also a social butterfly, and would have finished his work early, would probably have lost recess for talking too much, and then been crying some more!

 

Homeschooling was truly our only choice.

 

My ds got in trouble in K for talking too much instead of doing his independent work. The wonderful K teacher always brought it up during conferences. What she and I didn't realize is that he couldn't read the page. Instead of ask for help, he'd just start talking to his friend.

 

The talking was a symptom, not the problem. :glare:

[Anita in NC]

Wow! I would have been suspended for my entire high school years. I hated high school and cried every single day from frustration, bullying, teasing, etc....

[lionfamily1999]

My ds got in trouble in K for talking too much instead of doing his independent work.

My ds got into trouble for not talking enough. He was labeled anti-social, because he did NOT talk to his friends during class, choosing to color when his work was done. IOW, it's a lose-lose.

[SeekingSimplicity]

Gosh, I cried every day in K. I didn't want to be away from my parents and I didn't like being stuck in a room full of people I didn't know. I cried every day when my parents dropped me off, I cried every day when the picked my up, and cried a lot in between. I just wasn't at that place emotionally where I could be separated a whole day from my parents. By 1st grade I was OK. Bless my poor teacher for putting up with me.

[....]

Ridiculous.

 

But then again when my daughter (now 10) was in public school Kindergarten, there was also no more than a ten minute recess (which was often "lost" as a punishment for things like "talking too much" in the classroom).

 

There were silent lunches.

 

There was day long deskwork.

 

There was homework.

 

All of these things were so they could be prepared for standardized testing. There's no time for crying when you're being prepared for standardized testing <eyeroll>.

 

Kindergarten is a pretty sad state of affairs these days. Nothing like the Kindergarten *I* so fondly remember.

 

 

This was exactly OUR experience with ps kindergarten too. We're going to see the results of this in about 20 years. My kids would cry before we even walked to the bus stop. What 5 yro would want to go through that every day?

 

They need to be playing and pretending...dressing up in Star Wars costumes and having dance parties with their webkinz...(Oh, wait, that's MY kids :tongue_smilie:) :D

[happypamama]

I really hope there is more to that story than is told in the article. That poor little boy! Yep, 5 and 6yo cry. (In fact, that's one reason I am glad I homeschool -- my own 6yo boy is sweet and shy and can cry easily, definitely not ready to be away from me -- I am glad I had already decided to homeschool him, rather than having to make a decision last fall.) I remember crying in kindergarten -- I was little for my age and shy, and so intimidated by the bigger, rougher boys in the class, and I hadn't been to preschool and wasn't used to being away from my mom and little brothers, so I missed them terribly. My dear, kind teacher picked me up and hugged me and said that she missed her little girl (a first grader) too, and that really made a difference to me -- no condemnation for crying, just comfort and acceptance for my feelings. I'd be livid if I was that little boy's mama too!

 

(And also, I think it's good that they're fighting to have the suspension removed from his record. That sort of stuff *does* follow a kid and certainly can have long-lasting effects on his education.)

[stephanier.1765]

Oh Geeze! My youngest would have been suspended every day since he cried every single day I dropped him off at Kindergarten. Thankfully the next year was the year we started homeschooling.

 

That poor little boy. Already many men feel they can't show their emotions and now this boy will have that stigma already attached to his psyche.

[clarkacademy]

Kindergarten is rough on some kids. I cried off and on my whole first day. But I am just wondering, if it would not be all right to remove the child (not by suspension) how is the teacher suppose to teach? I mean we have all been posting about the disruptive kids and their treatments but what is the school suppose to do? When you have a child who is ruining the day for a whole class that is just not fair to the other kids. How are they suppose to learn? Now those kids will be considered behind. If that was your home and your kid was out of control what would you do?

[MamaOfMany]

*sigh* way to go VBCPS! Another dumb move. That just makes it solid that I will NOT send my son to kinder in the fall and I will homeschool! I dont need him sent home because he is crying! Crying is not bad. Poor kid.

[kalphs]

Good grief. :rolleyes:

My friend J spent the majority of the first week crying because he wanted to be at home with his cars.

Our teacher and J's parents did an outstanding job of working with him.

By the end of the week he wanted to come to school.

[elegantlion]

Kindergarten is rough on some kids. I cried off and on my whole first day. But I am just wondering, if it would not be all right to remove the child (not by suspension) how is the teacher suppose to teach? I mean we have all been posting about the disruptive kids and their treatments but what is the school suppose to do? When you have a child who is ruining the day for a whole class that is just not fair to the other kids. How are they suppose to learn? Now those kids will be considered behind. If that was your home and your kid was out of control what would you do?

 

That's why I brought up the nurse. If he was having a real meltdown I can see removing him to another area. But are nurses even in all public schools these days?

 

Do elementary teachers receive any training in emotional development and psychology? Obviously there is a difference between what you can one-on-one and what you can do with thirty other kids in the class.

 

But surely in this school district this is not their first crying child. Shouldn't there be protocol in place for an incident such as this? This is not a zero-tolerance issue :banghead:. If the school is not better equipped to deal with a crying Ker than to jump to suspension, then perhaps they shouldn't be in business at all. :glare:

[clarkacademy]

That's why I brought up the nurse. If he was having a real meltdown I can see removing him to another area. But are nurses even in all public schools these days?

 

I think they are not sure..?

 

Do elementary teachers receive any training in emotional development and psychology? Obviously there is a difference between what you can one-on-one and what you can do with thirty other kids in the class.

 

I am pretty certain they do but they are also told about teaching to the test ext. I know during last week those FCAT tests I think they are under no cause regardless of what a child did their was no suspensions in school. After it was over they got into trouble for stuff but I am pretty sure as well teachers are just tired of the disruptive kids in her class and when the class performs poorly she gets blamed.

 

But surely in this school district this is not their first crying child. Shouldn't there be protocol in place for an incident such as this? This is not a zero-tolerance issue :banghead:. If the school is not better equipped to deal with a crying Ker than to jump to suspension, then perhaps they shouldn't be in business at all. :glare:

 

I agree the majority of them should not be in business but it is always going to be there even just for a semi free sitter. This is the part I think is funny (sad) the expectations of these kids is way beyond what I had done in school. The stuff they are suppose to know in K I learned in K. Yet we have graduates that don't know the continents??? Who is the last truly great writer that has turned out? Alot of it is not even the school it is the rules they must go by to keep their jobs. No they shouldn't be in business but it doesn't seem anything is making better.

[blakereese]

I think a BIG problem is that with all of the budget cuts, there are larger classes and only one teacher. 25 to 1 is not a good ratio for kindergarten. There used to always be teacher's aid in the K classes at our school, but that position had to go a few years ago. And then the class sizes went up. At that age, there does need to be an extra person to deal with issues like this, and going to the restroom, and just helping with the activities. Our school now relies totally on volunteers for this sort of thing, but it is even hard to recruit volunteers now. So they stop doing the "fun" educational crafts and things that take a lot of time and preparation, and do more seatwork so the teacher can have control.

 

We now expect the kindergarteners to write and read, but we don't have enough help for them (and honestly, most of them aren't really ready for this). Then they go on to first grade and are "behind" and just sort of fall through the cracks or have labels they don't deserve. This can be especially hard on boys, and it is very hard to watch.

 

Of course, money isn't the ONLY problem, but not having any has made the problems much worse.

[LibraryLover]

When does Kindergarten start in Virginia? It's April. Has he been crying since September?

[stephanier.1765]

When does Kindergarten start in Virginia? It's April. Has he been crying since September?

 

I know my son did. There was not a day that went by that he didn't cry. For some kids, it's just harder than others. My son had gone to preschool for both age 3 and age 4 and he cried every single one of those days too.

[WIS0320]

There has got to be a lot more to this story than the article suggested. No one from the school was interviewed and the attorney on the case benefits from it being seen as sensational, as does the newspaper writer - sensational headlines get more readers after all.

 

I can't believe that it was simple crying, even if it has been going on all year.

[lionfamily1999]

This was exactly OUR experience with ps kindergarten too. We're going to see the results of this in about 20 years. My kids would cry before we even walked to the bus stop. What 5 yro would want to go through that every day?

 

They need to be playing and pretending...dressing up in Star Wars costumes and having dance parties with their webkinz...(Oh, wait, that's MY kids :tongue_smilie:) :D

Ours too. It was the same for Pre-K (3 and 4 year olds).

[Karen in CO]

This goes in my list to remind myself why they girls aren't going to school. Craziness.

[Murphy101]

Yeah, I keep wondering if there is more to the story, too. I mean, really, if we are talking 6 hours a day of crying then, yeah, SOMETHING would need to be done. Of course, my something is not suspension, it would be intervention. :confused:

 

That was my first thought too. Are we talking "crying" or are we talking "spends a significant portion of the school day a loud blubbering mess"?

 

If the first, teacher needs to get over it.

 

If the second, parents needs to step in and help their child cope with whatever the problem is. And it might actually be a good idea to remove him from kindergarten for the year. Not all 6 year olds are ready for kindergarten. A fact that our society simply refuses to recognize.:glare:

[lionfamily1999]

That was my first thought too. Are we talking "crying" or are we talking "spends a significant portion of the school day a loud blubbering mess"?

 

If the first, teacher needs to get over it.

 

If the second, parents needs to step in and help their child cope with whatever the problem is. And it might actually be a good idea to remove him from kindergarten for the year. Not all 6 year olds are ready for kindergarten. A fact that our society simply refuses to recognize.:glare:

I'm not sure, either way, that suspension was the right move. Like they pointed out in the article, that goes in his school records.

[calandalsmom]

I'm not sure, either way, that suspension was the right move. Like they pointed out in the article, that goes in his school records.

 

realistically no one cares 11 yrs later if you got a suspension for crying in gr 1.

[lionfamily1999]

realistically no one cares 11 yrs later if you got a suspension for crying in gr 1.

I'm not sure the generic record reflects that though. He was suspended for creating a disturbance in class.

[2cents]

I wonder if there's anything more to his suspension? I would love to hear from the school, but at face value it's ridiculous.

 

:iagree:

I really wonder if there is a lot more to this. If the crying is so bad that it is interfering with the learning opportunities for the other children then the child sounds like he is not ready for that environment. Maybe the parents need to explore other schools or ways to make the transition easier.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Not all 6 year olds are ready for kindergarten. A fact that our society simply refuses to recognize.:glare:

 

 

This bears repeating. It needs a billboard, actually.

 

My son is 6. Learned to read two years ago, but IN NO WAY was he ready for kindegarten this year. (I mean if he were going to school instead of homeschooling.) We have done schoolish-type things, but not formal school. He would NOT be able to sit still that long and he still cries sometimes when things don't go his way. He is learning not to, but....it takes time and maturity. He isn't there yet.

[Murphy101]

This bears repeating. It needs a billboard, actually.

 

My son is 6. Learned to read two years ago, but IN NO WAY was he ready for kindegarten this year. (I mean if he were going to school instead of homeschooling.) We have done schoolish-type things, but not formal school. He would NOT be able to sit still that long and he still cries sometimes when things don't go his way. He is learning not to, but....it takes time and maturity. He isn't there yet.

 

My current 6 year old either. My second born could have been still that long and I doubt he would have been much of a crier. (He is by nature quiet and an internalizer.) He still wasn't ready either.