What do you consider a large family?

[susancollins]

I have been getting alot of comments about my family size. I don't think we have a large family. When Grayson is born we will have 4 children. My husband and I have started to get more comments lately (I think it is because it is noticeable that I am pregnant). My mother in law told me that after this one I didn't need anymore children but it is not just her it is at the grocery store, friends, and strangers. I don't understand why some people want or feel the need to voice their opinion on how many children or anyone else has. I have seen the same thing happen to several friends of mine. My children are loved and well taken care of. II am wondering what do you consider to be a large family, and how people deal with situations like this? Thanks so much!

[Murphy101]

12

[Mrs Mungo]

I am the oldest of 4 girls and I know a lot of people considered us a large family. My dad is the oldest of 5 and people definitely considered them a large family when he was growing up.

[justamouse]

Anything more than 7 which is what I have! and if I could, I'd adopt.

 

Most of the time I get, "How many? Well God sure blessed you!" and I say, "Yes, he did."

 

Many times I get grandparents who stop me to tell me that 1. the kids are so well behaved, and 2. they were one of ____ and how much they loved their families. I hit those people up for advice. :D

[SilverMoon]

Yeah, 12 is a good number. Our fourth one shoved us over the line to "too many" to the busybodies we met.

[BMW]

Well, many people have 1, 2 or 3. Less people seem to have 4 or more.

 

I had 7 in 10 years and that seems like a large family. Add to that 4 sons who lost their mom to cancer and my marrying their dad... and I'd say I have a very large family! (more than 4 are out of the house right now, though...)

[AndyJoy]

I generally think of 5 kids as being a big family. In one of my mom groups, however, 3 seems to be considered big!

[Shellydon]

To me, 7 or more kids seems large.

[bluemongoose]

Around here it is a large family. But large is anything over 2. I live in a blue state that is very into environment and the footprint you leave etc. Many people around here do not have any kids at all, or if they do, it is only 1 or 2.

 

But I feel ya, I have 3 and we want 2 more. When I was pregnant with my 3rd the comments were pretty bad, especially since I had a boy and a girl already. People give a little more room for those who are still trying for the opposite gender if they got the same gender on the first 2 kids. Most of the time people (mostly complete strangers, or acquaintances) would express pity over my "accident" when I was pregnant with #3. Imagin their shock when I said that he was not at all an accident and that we hoped to continue having more children after him!:lol: Some were bold though and remind me of my duty to the Earth to not have more than what replaces my DH and I, or ask if we knew how to use birth control, or some other carp. I just enjoy my kids and let their comments go in one ear and out the other!

 

ETA: Not trying to make this sound political, or conservatives vs libs or anything. I am just describing my state, because it is actually a part of the culture here that plays into the number of kids the people in my community have on average. The environmental outlook is huge here, and it effects many things in my area, not just the family size.

Edited March 28, 2011 by bluemongoose

[TracyP]

I think over 3 becomes large by most standards. This is the point (for us) where people stopped saying congratulations and started saying you are done, right? I have no advice except that I just try to let it roll off. I will say when I had 0-2 kids I was more judgemental of larger families. I didn't understand how they had enough time, money, patience, etc. I "get it" now but I do know it can be hard to understand for others.

[DarlaS]

I have been getting alot of comments about my family size. I don't think we have a large family. When Grayson is born we will have 4 children. My husband and I have started to get more comments lately (I think it is because it is noticeable that I am pregnant). My mother in law told me that after this one I didn't need anymore children but it is not just her it is at the grocery store, friends, and strangers. I don't understand why some people want or feel the need to voice their opinion on how many children or anyone else has. I have seen the same thing happen to several friends of mine. My children are loved and well taken care of. II am wondering what do you consider to be a large family, and how people deal with situations like this? Thanks so much!

 

I would think lots more than four would be a large family. Lots more. It takes more than four, because that's how many I have too.

 

You must look entirely too friendly and approachable, because this never happens to me. Tell people to mind their own %&mn business (with a look if necessary to protect little ears :glare:).

 

:001_smile:

[eternalknot]

I'm one of eight, and we were the norm for where I grew up. I tend to think of 8-10+ kids as being a large family, but ... for where I live, the times I live in, definitely more 5+ is considered the "new" large IMO.

[Audrey]

more than two kids

[jewellsmommy]

husband & wife = small family

h, w + 1 child = small family

h, w + 2 or 3 children = average, medium family

h, w + 4-13 children = large family

h, w + 14 or more = jumbo family :D

 

I figure if you can't fit the whole family in a large car, you're a large family. Once you need a small bus, you're a jumbo family.

 

Not that the label really matters.

[Emmy]

3 kids has become a popular options the last few years. I think many people consider 4 to be a 'big' family. I didn't really think I had a big family when I had 4 kids but I think a lot of our friends and certainly our family thought so. I have 6 kids now and think of myself as having a biggish family.

[JessMcG]

I consider 5+ children to be large.

[Mrs Mungo]

husband & wife = small family

h, w + 1 child = small family

h, w + 2 or 3 children = average, medium family

h, w + 4-13 children = large family

h, w + 14 or more = jumbo family :D

 

I figure if you can't fit the whole family in a large car, you're a large family. Once you need a small bus, you're a jumbo family.

 

Not that the label really matters.

 

:iagree:, that's a good way of looking at it. But then, I'd break it down more like this:

 

h, w + 1 child = small family

h, w + 2 or 3 children = average, medium family

h, w + 4-6 children = large family

h, w + 7-9 children = really large family

h, w + 10 or more = jumbo family

[cin]

I consider 5+ children to be large.

 

:iagree:

 

 

And I'd inform my MIL that if she thinks we have too many kids, then she needs to talk to her son, because he is partly responsible. :D

[jewellsmommy]

I have been getting alot of comments about my family size. I don't think we have a large family. When Grayson is born we will have 4 children. My husband and I have started to get more comments lately (I think it is because it is noticeable that I am pregnant). My mother in law told me that after this one I didn't need anymore children but it is not just her it is at the grocery store, friends, and strangers. I don't understand why some people want or feel the need to voice their opinion on how many children or anyone else has. I have seen the same thing happen to several friends of mine. My children are loved and well taken care of. II am wondering what do you consider to be a large family, and how people deal with situations like this? Thanks so much!

 

 

BTW... no one has a right to tell you when you should be done having children. I can't imagine why anyone else should feel the need to dictate your family size to you :001_huh:.

 

Just so you know, those on the other side get this too. I spent many years homeschooling an only child in a world of large families. I was often asked why I didn't have more or didn't I want more. :glare:

[jewellsmommy]

:iagree:, that's a good way of looking at it. But then, I'd break it down more like this:

 

h, w + 1 child = small family

h, w + 2 or 3 children = average, medium family

h, w + 4-6 children = large family

h, w + 7-9 children = really large family

h, w + 10 or more = jumbo family

 

 

That's a good run-down.

[angela in ohio]

To most people in general society in the U.S., I think 4 is a large family. 1 oe 2 is normal, 3 is okay, but 4 is big.

 

In homeschooling and some Christian communities, 6 seems to be the child that puts you into the "large family category."

 

When I see 6 or 7, I start to think it's a large family.

[MominIN]

Five didn't feel big. But, six definitely does! So, six or up for me.

 

I think society as a whole, though, sees four or more as large.

[Kimberly in IN]

I consider 5+ children to be large.

 

:iagree:

 

A somewhat related funny, my 2 oldest dc attend a small Catholic middle and high school. FYI, we are Episcopal, not Roman Catholic. Anyway, with 4 dc, we are the family in the school w/ the most kids. Don't know why, but I find that funny.

 

3 dc is a large family here. Where we used to live, 4 dc was not unusual at all.

[Amy1k]

We have four children and I feel like we have a large family. I have more children than most of my friends. My family feels even larger now that I have 3 teenage boys. :laugh:

[KristinaBreece]

My mom's one of 4, and that doesn't seem like a "large" family to me. My dad's one of 8, and that does seem large to me. So... somewhere between 5 & 8 is the line into "big family" for me.

 

My DH thinks that if we had one more we would be a big family. That would only be 3 DC altogether:confused:... so, yeah.

[Amy1k]

I'm the oldest of eight children and I cannot even imagine trying to manage that large of household. To each his own, of course. ;)

[kchara]

*I* consider a large family one with any number of kids greater than the number of kids we have. Ours never seems to qualify for "large."

 

Now, what society considers large... that's a different matter. I think 3 is the getting big stage. 4 is "large."

[Mommy22alyns]

To me, 4+ is "large." But I only have 2 kids, what do I know? :D

[Researcher]

4+ is large to me and to most of the people I know.

 

My dad was 1 of 6 and my MIL is 1 of 7. They are certainly from a large family by my thinking.

[delaney]

I think more than one minivan can hold is large. 6 really doesn't seem that big to me.

[momma aimee]

I have been getting alot of comments about my family size. I don't think we have a large family. When Grayson is born we will have 4 children. My husband and I have started to get more comments lately (I think it is because it is noticeable that I am pregnant). My mother in law told me that after this one I didn't need anymore children but it is not just her it is at the grocery store, friends, and strangers. I don't understand why some people want or feel the need to voice their opinion on how many children or anyone else has. I have seen the same thing happen to several friends of mine. My children are loved and well taken care of. II am wondering what do you consider to be a large family, and how people deal with situations like this? Thanks so much!

 

4 is average!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

7+ kids is big

[gingersmom]

I would think 5 or more kids is a large family.

 

In the area I live the average is 1-2 kids with maybe another 25% having 3 kids and it is very rare to see anyone with 4 or more kids.

[Belacqua]

I suppose it varies. Perhaps we need a formula?

 

I'm reminded of the formula for how many cats you can have before officially becoming a Cat Lady (number of bedrooms in your home + 1). Maybe something like that?

 

What would the criteria be? Bedrooms, or car size? Or personal tolerance for Lego-related injuries?

[susankenny]

I consider 5 or more children to be a large family. I don't think that is a bad thing by any means, it's just what I consider to be large. I come from a family of 6 (4 children) and I never considered our family "big". I'm not sure what the 5th child does in my mind, lol.

 

Susan

[Skyline]

I grew up in a family of five and it never felt big but rather just right so I'm going with anything bigger than what we had. :lol:

[BakersDozen]

I considered our family large when I had to empty our kitchen of all small containers/cooking pans and such and replace them with super-sized ones. That was after #6. Now that we are giving our master bedroom to our girls this summer because they've outgrown their bedrooms, I kind of think of us as a big family. We haven't outgrown our 15-passenger van so we haven't hit super-sized yet. ;)

 

Where we live 4-6 kids is average; 7-8 isn't unusual but is moving toward a big family; 9+ is big; 14+ is super-sized.

[Murphy101]

I think more than one minivan can hold is large. 6 really doesn't seem that big to me.

 

Leave to home schoolers to judge large by the shipping costs, rather than the actual items in the box!:tongue_smilie:

 

ETA: My van holds 12 passengers. ;)

[DarlaS]

I suppose it varies. Perhaps we need a formula?

 

I'm reminded of the formula for how many cats you can have before officially becoming a Cat Lady (number of bedrooms in your home + 1). Maybe something like that?

 

What would the criteria be? Bedrooms, or car size? Or personal tolerance for Lego-related injuries?

 

Car size sounds good to me. My car seats 7 and we are a family of 6. :D

[Pretty in Pink]

Our fourth child seemed to place us squarely in the 'whacko' category in terms of family size, so I guess anything over three is considered large by the majority of folks. I used to feel the same, and then four just felt so natural; now, with our fifth on the way, five doesn't seem so big, either. :001_smile:

[ScoutTN]

More than fits into a minivan or suburban!

[ciyates]

Someone actually commented on how many children you have :thumbdown: ?Not to get off topic but that was terribly rude. My mom is one of 13. I guess I would consider a big family in the teens.

[Vida Winter]

When you can't all fit in a normal car, I consider it large. I'm an only child so most families seem large to me. :D

 

We have 5 kids; two are adults. We have had to take two cars on vacation before. Finally we got a vehicle that seats 8. ;)

[AmyP]

I was one of seven children and my mom one of ten. I think those are large families. I have four kids. I don't think of us as large, but we have more than most people we meet....except other homeschoolers!

[yellowperch]

Welcome to the club! I haven't read all the posts. When I was growing up big families were the ones with 7 or more. But where I live and in this era I would say 4 is over the top, at least that is how I've been made to feel, but really only on rare (but memorable) occassions (jeez, how do you spell that word). Four is great! You are going to love it so much you'll want more. :tongue_smilie:

 

People have generally been very kind and approving (if they've noticed at all. most people are usually too busy to think twice about other people's families) Must be because my kids are so awesome!

 

One thing I have had to guard myself against is being very boastful or smug. I tend to be a little bit like that. My mother would have wanted to have had more than her four, and then my younger brother died when we were children. She would always say nice things to mothers of big families (she likes saying nice things to lots of people). Once in a while one of the mothers would respond smugly, and that would upset my mom. I know some of you think commenting at all is poor manners, but really she was always very kind and cheery about it. My point is you just never know why someone is looking at your lovely brood and scowling or smiling or nodding or saying, "hey lucky you."

 

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy. I envy you a tiny bit, in a nice way.

Edited March 28, 2011 by yellowperch

[Ester Maria]

In my mind, an only child is a small family, a pair of children is an average family, 3-4 children are a category of its own that's in between an average and a big family (depending on the culture and whom you ask), and 5+ is definitely a large family.

 

I like the suggestion of "fitting into a normal car" as an arbiter - that would basically mean that 3 can pass, but 4 already would make a large family I suppose.

 

May I just add a moment of awe and admiration for those of you who manage large families with kids oscillating in ages as much as they often do? :)

[Mother Superior]

One child more than we have. (I've thought that since maybe three children ago. ;))

[Paige]

In my mind:

 

1-2 children = small family

 

3-4 children = medium family

 

5-6 children = large family

 

7-9 children = very large family

 

10+ children = we're going for as many as we can huge family (and more power to them!)

 

We have 4 and I do not feel it is large but I get a lot of comments too. I think the average around here is 3 based on the people I know. I know lots of families with 4 children too but not many with more than 4.

[susancollins]

Thank you all for taking the time out to respond. I have spoken to dh and he says it is jealousy on mil part. I try to not to let the comments bother me from strangers. I say yes I am very very blessed children are a gift from God. When my mother in law made her comment last night I told her we might have more children if we did it is our decision and that we were good parents.

[kdeno]

I have five and I get constant comments. :001_smile: A lot of nice "your children are so well behaved" and occasionally "do they all have the same dad, they all look different". :glare:

[KellyKelley]

Around here 3 gets looks and 4 is definitley considered big. Recently someone commented on my ds with a "you do know what causes that" and I told her that I did and that it was a lot of fun so we may have more.