BMW Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 This might not seem overly critical to some... but... this son wastes a lot of time in the evening. Then he gets in the shower after 9pm. I've told him that he needs to be showered before 9pm. I've reminded him several times. (The reason being, his dad gets up at 4am and the shower is right next to the wall our bed is along... and even if his dad sleeps through it, I don't. I have a very hard time sleeping. Sometimes I am just drifting off to sleep when he decides he has to have a shower and on goes the water and I am woken up.) This evening he played in his room with his xbox for 2-3 hours. Then when told to go to bed, waiting until he thought it was "safe", went in, locked the door and started his shower. He was told to go to sleep. He knows I am not going to bang on the door and insist that he get out when that means for sure I'd wake my husband up. Grrr. I just don't know how to follow up. What would be a reasonable consequence? (He has no neurological malfunctions and is not the son who usually struggles with behavior...) Any ideas? The only thing I can come up with is when he asks for a favor or for something, to say no... Or... I could take his xbox power cord away for each day following a violation of the shower time rules.... (Honestly, this would not be an issue if it weren't so important to get some sleep around here.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yeah....that works for me. Tell him the next time he gets in the shower after 9pm, you are going to keep the xbox power cord for a day. Don't say anything about it, just take it and stuff it away after he gets in the shower. Sometimes you have to hit them where it hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I would say give him a time that he can not shower past. Anytime he breaks that go and take something from his room. The Xbox cord sounds great. I would then make him earn his possessions back by doing something considerate toward the family, after a 24 hour period of it being yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 You mean you didn't just got cut off the water supply? He probably doesn't know how to change that, and one time would probably convince him. :) LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 This evening he played in his room with his xbox for 2-3 hours. The XBox would be the first thing to go. Not just the cord, but the console would be removed from the bedroom. And I wouldn't hesitate to start reminding kids about showers at an earlier hour. What time would you prefer he shower? Remind him an hour earlier than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I can tell you what would have happened to me as a kid. My mom would have taken a jug of ice cold water, let herself into the bathroom and dumped it right over the top of the shower. However, the xbox cord sounds like the right approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Why not only provide him his X-box cord AFTER he showers in the evening? The sequence should be shower first, THEN X-box. I sort of like the idea of turning off the water, snort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 I would have loved to cut off the water... but... I don't know how! As soon as I realized he'd quietly slipped in there instead of getting into bed, I turned the hot water heater off. He still had enough for a nice shower, though. Many nights I remind him. He's turning 14. I think I am done reminding him. I would love to take the entire xbox... but his dad and I disagree on that... but, I know his dad will support me taking the power cord, so I will take what I can get. It WILL hurt him tomorrow... he is on spring break from school and will miss it. Gosh, I am glad you all support me in this. I was afraid I'd check back and be told, "What is your problem? Your son is showering! Be happy! Go to bed at 10!" And, yeah, it is after 10 now... I'd probably be in bed asleep if he'd obeyed the first time around! Oh, well. At least I am enjoying some quiet now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Why not only provide him his X-box cord AFTER he showers in the evening? The sequence should be shower first, THEN X-box. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanie in WI Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I'd take away his xbox power cord. I don't know how, but my dh has turned off the hot water during a too long shower! That would work also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I agree with pp. Tomorrow take the power cord and tell him he can have it back after his shower. That will ensure an early shower time instead of having him rush to get a shower the last 5 minutes before 9 every night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 taking the power cord in the afternoon and giving it back after a timely shower seems plenty reasonable! If that didn't work, I'd shut the water off at 9. (You should know how to shut off the main water source anyway in case of emergency!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Why not only provide him his X-box cord AFTER he showers in the evening? The sequence should be shower first, THEN X-box. :iagree: Yep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stansclan89 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Since he is keeping people up that have to get up at 4am, I would wake him at 4am everytime he does it. And keep him up all day. He'll think twice about showering too late next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 When I was a teenager, I spent too long in the shower. My dad started timing me and then charged me for the amount of water I used extra to what he deemed was reasonable. It made me mad at the time, but also taught me that certain things in life cost money, and shouldn't be wasted. I also learned how to shower fast! Your house, your rules. You ds needs to learn to be aware of other people's needs and be considerate. It will make life easier for him later if he learns this now. Go mama! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Sure, you could do the power cord thing if he really, really doesn't care. But couldn't you talk to him about it and see if you can get him to empathise and realise why its so disturbing to you that he shower late? Have you tried that- or did you maybe just tell him not to over and over? I have a kid who hates to be told, and will resist if it becomes a power struggle, but if you explain it and he gets it- it makes sense to him- he won't do it. Can you maybe turn the shower on and bring him into your room so he can hear how loud it is? He may just think you are being overly trippy and not realise how loud it is for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiffanieh Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Ummm...there would be no hesitation on ripping that xbox out of his room. He is not only showing major character issues (disobedience but also selfishness). He is putting his needs far above everyone else's in the family. This needs to be addressed. He needs to learn consideration and apathy towards others. That would be unacceptable here. You are doing the right thing! Stick to your guns!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Sure, you could do the power cord thing if he really, really doesn't care. But couldn't you talk to him about it and see if you can get him to empathise and realise why its so disturbing to you that he shower late? Have you tried that- or did you maybe just tell him not to over and over? I have a kid who hates to be told, and will resist if it becomes a power struggle, but if you explain it and he gets it- it makes sense to him- he won't do it. Can you maybe turn the shower on and bring him into your room so he can hear how loud it is? He may just think you are being overly trippy and not realise how loud it is for you. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Honestly, I'm just happy my ds showers regularly w/o me yelling about it. However, if I were in your situation I'd consider taking the power cord in the afternoon. If he doesn't shower before you are in bed he doesn't get it back. Getting up when he starts the shower and turning off the hot water (my friend's dad did this a lot when she was in high school). Consider keeping the power cord for more than a day if he has further infractions. I'm sure you've already talked to him about why his late showers are a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Make sure the power cord is dedicated to the Xbox though. If it's a standard power cord, he can use the one from the computer to replace it, and you would look silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If I am remembering correctly, you have posted many threads about your teenagers doing things that wake you up or keep you awake, but they are normal things and not over the top. My advice would be to invest in some earplugs and a white noise machine. I don't think there is an appropriate consequence for this because I don't think it's a behavior problem. I don't really think there should be shower-time rules for teens. They are old enough to look after their own cleanliness, eh? Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 My advice would be to invest in some earplugs and a white noise machine.Not the OP, but I've used earplugs. They hurt (small ear canals?) and bother me when I'm falling asleep. I also don't think white noise machines are ideal. However, if I did go that route, the teenager would be paying for the earplugs and/or white noise machine. If I don't get enough sleep, I tend to get sick. Obviously there are times when my sleep is disrupted unavoidably, like when a child is sick, but I cannot tolerate avoidable disruptions to my sleep. I wouldn't be happy with my DH showering after I was in bed. He's considerate, so I'm sure it wouldn't happen again once I pointed out that it disturbed my sleep. I think the only time I'd tolerate a late shower is if someone threw up (meaning I'd be awake anyway), or if it was a houseguest, and then only if it was a short (weekend) visit. A teenager is capable of understanding that his actions are bothering others. I'd sit down with him and reiterate "No showers after 9pm. It is disturbing others' sleep. It is inconsiderate and it must stop now." Hopefully he'd get the message. If he continues to shower late, I like the consequence of having him get up at 4am when his dad gets up. It isn't quite a natural consequence, but it is close. If he's going to selfishly disrupt others' sleep, then he shouldn't be surprised when his own sleep is disrupted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If he's going to selfishly disrupt others' sleep, then he shouldn't be surprised when his own sleep is disrupted. Perhaps, but as I stated, I believe I ave read several (or more) posts from the OP regarding her teenagers making "too much noise" at night, basically just by being awake and moving about the house. I'm not trying to be mean, but the OP has 11 kids. It's not going to be a quiet house. Imo, based on the posts I have read, the OP has somewhat unreasonable standards about silence in the house. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) Does he have his own bedroom and/or a lock on his bedroom door? I ask because, well...he's almost 14. Maybe he's seeking the most private time for his showers? Edited March 16, 2011 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 You mean you didn't just got cut off the water supply? He probably doesn't know how to change that, and one time would probably convince him. :) LOL :lol::lol::lol:This is just what I was going to suggest. I've actually had to do this for extra long (>30 minute long) showers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If I am remembering correctly, you have posted many threads about your teenagers doing things that wake you up or keep you awake, but they are normal things and not over the top. My advice would be to invest in some earplugs and a white noise machine. I don't think there is an appropriate consequence for this because I don't think it's a behavior problem. I don't really think there should be shower-time rules for teens. They are old enough to look after their own cleanliness, eh? Tara There's nothing unreasonable about showering sometime during the 16 hrs or so his dad would be awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Sure, you could do the power cord thing if he really, really doesn't care. But couldn't you talk to him about it and see if you can get him to empathise and realise why its so disturbing to you that he shower late? Have you tried that- or did you maybe just tell him not to over and over? I have a kid who hates to be told, and will resist if it becomes a power struggle, but if you explain it and he gets it- it makes sense to him- he won't do it. Can you maybe turn the shower on and bring him into your room so he can hear how loud it is? He may just think you are being overly trippy and not realise how loud it is for you. :iagree: My ds is 13, he still needs to be reminded to shower and we do bang on the door. If he's truly being defiant and not simply forgetful I'd be inclined to walk into the bathroom a few times and remind him through the shower curtain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) 9 pm doesn't sound that late for a 14 year old to be showering to me. Personally, it wouldn't bother me and it wouldn't sweat the small stuff. kwim? Edited March 16, 2011 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Imo, based on the posts I have read, the OP has somewhat unreasonable standards about silence in the house. I doesn't matter to me how many kids she has, or how noisy they are at other times of day. Asking for a reasonably quiet house after 9pm, including not using the shower opposite a sleeping person's bedroom, is reasonable. This is especially reasonable when some of the household must rise early. I'm not commenting outside of my own experience. I was the oldest of 6. We were all expected to be quiet after the youngest kids went to bed. When I was a teenager, my mom often went to bed before me, and I was expected to be as quiet as possible. This is all just part of being a good housemate. It is important to be considerate when you live with lots of people who all need to get adequate sleep. This is not a bad thing for a teenager to practice; with any luck, it'll help him to be a more considerate college roommate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Does he have his own bedroom and/or a lock on his bedroom door? I ask because, well...he's almost 14. Maybe he's seeking the most private time for his showers? This was my thought as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) My teens purposely take their showers at night when everyone else is in bed so that they can have hot water. We have a sensitive water system, and if they showered while everyone was up, other people using any water at all would impact their shower. Plus, they're night owls. My dh gets up between 4:30 and 5:30, and although the shower is not right next to our bedroom, the laundry room is. DH can sleep through most anything, though. And because I am the one who wakes up when I hear them (I have my Mom ears on, even when I'm sleeping), and due to other sleep issues that started within the last couple of years, I take melatonin before bed. It helps me get a good sounds sleep, even when teens are tiptoe-ing through my bedroom to get to the laundry. 2-3 hours on Xbox does seem extreme to me... but that's a whole nuther issue. ;) Edited March 16, 2011 by Amy in NH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 9 pm doesn't sound that late for a 14 year old to be showering to me. Personally, it wouldn't bother me and it wouldn't sweat the small stuff. kwim? :iagree: I doesn't matter to me how many kids she has, or how noisy they are at other times of day. Asking for a reasonably quiet house after 9pm, including not using the shower opposite a sleeping person's bedroom, is reasonable. This is especially reasonable when some of the household must rise early. I'm not commenting outside of my own experience. I was the oldest of 6. We were all expected to be quiet after the youngest kids went to bed. When I was a teenager, my mom often went to bed before me, and I was expected to be as quiet as possible. This is all just part of being a good housemate. It is important to be considerate when you live with lots of people who all need to get adequate sleep. This is not a bad thing for a teenager to practice; with any luck, it'll help him to be a more considerate college roommate. I simply don't agree with the absolutism of this perspective. I don't think there is a clearly delineated rule about a teen showering after 9 if another family member has to get up early. Indeed, it doesn't even seem that the early riser of the family is the one with the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Asking for a reasonably quiet house after 9pm I agree, but I guess we differ on what constitutes reasonably quiet. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Yes, I have had posts.... oh, about a year and a half ago... where I talked about my struggle to get to sleep. I had multiple high schoolers and one young adult and a couple of middle-schooled... and they kept going all over our small home. In and out. I could not sleep. I did buy earplugs. My high school kids now live with their dad and my two grown girls live elsewhere. When they come for a visit, I stay up much later and give up sleep and it's the weekend... But, that is not what we are talking about here. This is happening on work nights/school nights. This is water pipe noise that runs along our wall. I do agree with others... we are the parents. We are the bill payers. They have all evening to use the shower. If there were extenuating circumstances, I would totally be flexible. That is who I am. I believe it is important to learn to consider others and to think about what you are doing and, yep, we have talked about the use of the shower... dad going to sleep... mom going to sleep... If the house were much bigger... If we didn't have to get up early... I'm going to use the power cord (yes, it is xbox specific) and learn how to shut off the water. Have a great day everyone!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I agree, but I guess we differ on what constitutes reasonably quiet. Tara If the OP's shower is anything like ours, I can understand. Ours is *noisy.* I can't sleep through it, so dh and I get up at the same time every morning. If the OP's shower is on the wall next to their bedroom, I can see the need for showering at a time when they aren't trying to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Does he have his own bedroom and/or a lock on his bedroom door? I ask because, well...he's almost 14. Maybe he's seeking the most private time for his showers? That's what I was thinking... privacy can be very important that age. He may be waiting until no one can hear him if they were standing outside the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) I simply don't agree with the absolutism of this perspective. *shrug* Just speculating here, but maybe it is harder to understand if you've never been a part of a very large household. In a large household, everyone has to make accommodations for others that wouldn't be necessary in a smaller household. My own family is smaller (just 2 kids), and we can be a lot more flexible about some things than we'd be if we had 6 kids (as in my family of origin). Or, speculating again, maybe it is harder to understand if your sleep requirements are rather flexible and/or your bedtime is later. Edited March 16, 2011 by jplain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Why not only provide him his X-box cord AFTER he showers in the evening? The sequence should be shower first, THEN X-box. I sort of like the idea of turning off the water, snort. I agree. It's not about the time to me, it's about the proximity of the shower to sleeping dh. I would have taken the xbox out of his bedroom by this point, so I think you are a nicer mom than me. :) The man who pays for his water deserves to get some sleep. :001_smile: He should show appreciation for a dad willing to get up at 4 am to support his family. We teach consideration for others in the incubator of our own home. If him showering a bit earlier can make someone else's life better, that about does it for me. It seems like a small sacrifice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 The XBox would be the first thing to go. Not just the cord, but the console would be removed from the bedroom.And I wouldn't hesitate to start reminding kids about showers at an earlier hour. What time would you prefer he shower? Remind him an hour earlier than that. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 *shrug* Just speculating here, but maybe it is harder to understand if you've never been a part of a very large household.In a large household, everyone has to make accommodations for others that wouldn't be necessary in a smaller household. My own family is smaller (just 2 kids), and we can be a lot more flexible about some things than we'd be if we had 6 kids (as in my family of origin). Or, speculating again, maybe it is harder to understand if your sleep requirements are rather flexible and/or your bedtime is later. I am the oldest of 4 girls (we were all 4 teens at one time), and I grew up in a 1,000 sq foot house. There was only one full bathroom. I definitely understand the need for consideration. However, I am looking at both sides here. Yes, kids should be quiet after a certain time (and we require it in our home), but teens need some degree of privacy within a home. Is there a way to accommodate both needs? If he takes a shower at 8 pm instead of 9, are family members constantly knocking on the door because they need to brush their teeth or something? It is having grown up in a small house with lots of people that makes me wonder if he's seeking privacy by showering at that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 I simply don't agree with the absolutism of this perspective. I don't think there is a clearly delineated rule about a teen showering after 9 if another family member has to get up early. Indeed, it doesn't even seem that the early riser of the family is the one with the problem. __________________ There are "rules" and then there is courtesy... respect... cooperation. I should have phrased my OP "when" my dh sleeps through it, not "if". He does get woken up a couple times a week. Perhaps I am taking your comment too personally, but it does look as though you are addressing me indirectly, right? I know my character - my goal as a parent is to be here... to share a bit of time to help these guys learn on their paths... to instruct and guide, but not control... and when they cross lines, allow them to work through life's consequences. Thanks, jplain, for your understanding comments! Thanks, tammyla, for encouraging me to not sweat the small stuff. We raise them just once and they are gone. I think I will look at this as: sleep is important to dh and I and is an area we will not be so willing to negotiate, but will be flexible with when things in life come up (playing xbox a few hours before showering is not something coming up in life!!). I will point out to all the boys the areas that dh and I are generous and giving when it comes to their "freedoms" and "choices". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 I agree that the things that are really important to health and family function have to be taken seriously. Do what you need to do. A shower can be taken any time , it doesn't have to interfere with sleep. It's like keeping your roommate awake in a dorm. I think I remind too much. This sounds like a time to set down rules and consequences and not natter on. Just quietly follow through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 *shrug* Just speculating here, but maybe it is harder to understand if you've never been a part of a very large household.In a large household, everyone has to make accommodations for others that wouldn't be necessary in a smaller household. My own family is smaller (just 2 kids), and we can be a lot more flexible about some things than we'd be if we had 6 kids (as in my family of origin). Or, speculating again, maybe it is harder to understand if your sleep requirements are rather flexible and/or your bedtime is later. Or maybe it's just a difference in perspective. It was the absolutism in the post that I don't agree with. Certainly thinking, accomodating, cooperative persons can have differing perspectives on this issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 your dh that he shower before 9. If he doesn't respect that request, I would would institute consequences. It sounds like he's getting caught up in playing xbox and forgetting to shower earlier. I would remind him around 8:30 that he needs to shower now. Removing the xbox cord is one option. I can be a bit of a devil and might try another option. I've been known to turn on the dishwasher and/or washing machine when one of my boys takes a too long shower or does it at an inappropriate time. We run out of hot water when the dish washer/clothes washer and the shower are running at the same time. They end up with a very short, very cold shower. Just another option if you like to take an indirect approach. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 your dh that he shower before 9. If he doesn't respect that request, I would would institute consequences. It sounds like he's getting caught up in playing xbox and forgetting to shower earlier. I would remind him around 8:30 that he needs to shower now. Removing the xbox cord is one option. I can be a bit of a devil and might try another option. I've been known to turn on the dishwasher and/or washing machine when one of my boys takes a too long shower or does it at an inappropriate time. We run out of hot water when the dish washer/clothes washer and the shower are running at the same time. They end up with a very short, very cold shower. Just another option if you like to take an indirect approach. :D My parents would start flushing toilets in another bathroom. We would have scorching hot water, then cold, then return to normal. Made you want to finish a bath fast! Sometimes they would do that and run water in the kitchen sink to change the temps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Does he have his own bedroom and/or a lock on his bedroom door? I ask because, well...he's almost 14. Maybe he's seeking the most private time for his showers? I was wondering if he was waiting for some... private time with background noise too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 There are "rules" and then there is courtesy... respect... cooperation. I should have phrased my OP "when" my dh sleeps through it, not "if". He does get woken up a couple times a week. Perhaps I am taking your comment too personally, but it does look as though you are addressing me indirectly, right? I know my character - my goal as a parent is to be here... to share a bit of time to help these guys learn on their paths... to instruct and guide, but not control... and when they cross lines, allow them to work through life's consequences. You asked WWYD in your post. I am answering. I'm replying to issues emerging within the thread. The part you quoted actually included a quote from another poster, so, yes, you are taking that personally. As far as the DH and sleeping part, your OP is vague about whether it bothers your DH. I can only respond to the information given. I've had busy home, multiple kid and sleep needs/conflicts in my own home. I *still* would try not to control when a teen showers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 My parents would start flushing toilets in another bathroom. We would have scorching hot water, then cold, then return to normal. Made you want to finish a bath fast! Sometimes they would do that and run water in the kitchen sink to change the temps. :lol::lol: Sounds like something I'd do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Thanks, Joanne, I did realize that I hadn't worded it as clearly as I could and clarified that dh does get woken up some of the time. I knew, too, that there would be a difference of opinion. I also wondered if I needed to ignore or walk away from this situation or stick with my rule. Since there is a lot of give and take in place, as mentioned, I think I will continue to have son get his shower finished by 9pm, unless something happens that requires more flexibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.