kamom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I told me son, then about eight not .ever. to sweep the table off with a broom. ever. again. He was standing on the table doing it. I told the same boy not to ever climb the high doorways at the piano teachers house in bare feet. ever . again. More will come to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I told my son never to run away while he was still holding my head. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Not to eat like a puppy ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 For me it's not the things I tell them not to do...it's the things I don't tell them because it never occurred to me in a million years that someone would paint milk on the ceiling or put glue and glitter in the scratches on the table. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeganW Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 "NO!!! You CANNOT play with your brother's winky!" "I don't care that you don't have one of your own - LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Is it mostly boys that take us by surprise? Gotta love em!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I just had to tell my son not to swing the gallon sized apple juice bottle over everyone sitting on the couch- shaking it like he was going to splash them...because the cap could fall off if not on tight- and as I was launching into this he spilled juice on the floor, because the lid was loose. :glare: I don't know why I even have to say these things. The kicker is that if I had not witnessed this, bets are he would have not cleaned up the juice on the floor... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfinlady Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Not to insert tiny plastic coins from a playmobil set in his ear. This child was eleven at the time, certainly old enough to know better. It eventually required a hospital visit and sedation to remove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in FL Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I wish I had thought to tell my son not use glue to hang his pictures on the wall when he couldn't find the tape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Year Round Mom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Here's my spin on it: I wish I hadn't told my kids not to put dried kidney beans up their noses. DD 3 promptly stuck one up there. After I finished laughing, I had her blow it out into a paper towel. The scared look on her sweet little face was priceless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Not to do gymnastics on your sister's head. No, it is not just boys...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 to ds "Stop pouring maple syrup in your ear" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secular_mom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Do NOT climb onto the roof again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 We are constantly telling Becca to stand up and walk like a human, not gallop on all fours like a horse. What the heck?? The kid is almost 8!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 "Do NOT reformat the thermostat!" "Don't stuff lots of wadded coloring pages into the vacuum inlet." "Do not paint the walls with the wooden toys!" The paint from the wood toys comes off like a crayon on my wall and doesnt like to come back off! "Do not remove the screws from the door hinges so that the door falls off!" We had to epoxy the screws in after that! "Do not hang from the clothes rod!" "Don't ever drill another hole in my wall with spit and your finger!" "Don't take the drawers out of your dresser and use them as ladders!" "Do not dye the carpet with the oil from the air freshener that you were not supposed to take out of the outlet...and dont touch the outlets!" "Do NOT break the door stops out of the trim!" "Do NOT use your pretend drill to make the hole in the wall that you made with your spit and finger bigger!" "Do NOT shove pancakes down the vents!" Good thing I got my mothers "stay blonde through it all" genes or I would be iron gray headed by now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Today: Please don't get cheese in your sister's shoe. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I had to tell my son to never again watch me to make sure I was watching him while he did a dangerous trick on his bike. This was on the way home from the ER after getting stitches in his head because he hit the tree he couldn't see because he was making sure I was looking at him while he did the trick he never got to do because he hit the tree instead! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punchie Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 To DD (who was 3.5 at the time): Don't lick the car. Her response was: I'm not licking the car, mommy. I'm licking the rain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 :lol: It only gets better!! My 14 yo still plays horses... :lol: :svengo: DH will be soo happy to hear that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 We are constantly telling Becca to stand up and walk like a human, not gallop on all fours like a horse. What the heck?? The kid is almost 8!!! My girl is approaching 8 1/2 and still does that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Do not pull gum off the wall at the mall... and CHEW it. :eek: Do not pick up cigarrette stubs and pretend to smoke. :svengo: Do not 'ride' my refridgerator door. :glare: Just to name a few. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 You guys have me crying! These are hilarious:lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Oh, I remember the 'Do not put play dough up your nose!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 (edited) We are constantly telling Becca to stand up and walk like a human, not gallop on all fours like a horse. What the heck?? The kid is almost 8!!! Hey! I did that till I was 16!! You should see the scars on my knees. If I didn't have real horses to ride right now, I might still be doing it! :lol: Some girls are destined to love horses. It's something you are born with and it will not be denied. Good luck with that! :D (I own 10 equines presently.) Edited February 1, 2011 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 "Do NOT reformat the thermostat!" Oh man, that's an engineer kid! They're the *worst*!!! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Oh man, that's an engineer kid! They're the *worst*!!! :-) Yep! All of those were directed to my then 3yo boy (now 4yo). He takes EVERYTHING apart! Drives me batty. My DH is also an engineer, so I guess it is in the blood. I don't think I will have a nice looking house by the time I am finished raising this kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urban Girl Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Do not take the cotton off the end of Q-Tips BEFORE using. (yes, we went to the emergency room) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Do NOT put popcorn seeds up your nose! (we were able to remove them with the back end of a hair pin - the curvy side - without too much incident.) Do NOT eat bugs! My DS was going through an experimental eating stage at 2 years of age... we found him happily chewing on a black and orange striped bug, with black drool running down his chin... Bleah. Yep, it's boys. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Do not climb onto the glass top of your 4' dresser soaking wet from the shower!" "Do not use the shower curtain rod as one of the 'uneven bars!'" "Never put wadded-up straw wrappers into your ear canal!" "Do not poop in the back yard!" "Never roll an open can of paint down the slide." "Don't salt your ice cream." "If you run into a car with your bicycle, ALWAYS tell someone!" I've got more. This boy (11) has been a riot from the day we adopted him! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Don't jump on Mommy's lap while she's holding - OUCH!!!! - hot coffee!":glare: "Don't eat books" (to a 4.5yo...happily chewing on "Little Bear") "Don't eat your hair." and "Don't eat your boogers." (I do feed my dc, promise.:tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do not cover yourself and your friend with Desitin. She was 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74Heaven Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 About 8yo then (now 16yog)... Don't chew on the cord for your alarm clock. It was even arcing. (sparking) It never occurred to me to tell anyone that? Lisaj, mom to 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 No magnifying glasses while you're going to the bathroom. :001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Stop eating the leaves on the plants at the library! Stop eating the dirty snow off the bottom of your boots! Don't eat METAL!! I could go on for ages :lol:. Dd & things she shouldn't eat. Man alive. The best ones I couldn't even actually speak, lol. Just shake my head and try not to cry or laugh. Like when dd5 turned the laundry basket (full) upside down, moved it under my purse that hangs near the ceiling, climbed up, got just my keys out, unlocked the knob & deadbolt, went outside, unlocked the carabiner on the chain link fence gate, went to my car, opened just the trunk with my keys, got out a pack of crayons & some soda cans, and came back in to tell me that I had pop & crayons in my car & she got some out! I was in bed as dh had just left for work a little bit previously & I hadn't finished waking up yet. Oh, dd figured out she could sharpen chopsticks with a knife. At age 4. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I can't think of anything I've told my kids not to do.... But I have told my patients never to take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Today to 2 yr old: "Do not bite your brother in the butt." "Do not shove your brother's p*nis into the shampoo bottle." It was a travel size bottle and it was quite stuck. Thankfully, I didn't have to take him to the ER. "Do not try to snort jello through a straw" "Do not teach the baby to do dog tricks and then give him dog treats." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Please don't put that pillow on the baby's face." "I'm sorry, honey, no, the baby can't play baseball. Do not throw a baseball at the baby." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 We are constantly telling Becca to stand up and walk like a human, not gallop on all fours like a horse. What the heck?? The kid is almost 8!!! OHH me too!!!! And mine is almost 9! But, she makes awesome horse nays. Seriously life like. I just hate when she does this in the grocery store. Last week while grocery shopping, Dh actually turned to me and said "Man, I bet that kid's parents are embarrassed" and started to distance himself. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBG580 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I had to tell my 5 year old tonight to NOT EVER PEE IN THE BATHTUB AGAIN! Yuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 One of my favorites: "Get the ferrets out of the oven, NOW!" We do not try to cook our pets. and I had to holler across the chic-fil-et as dd was heading to the restroom "Remember, DO NOT wash your hands!" :001_huh: Yea, that one turned some heads. Dd has suddenly become reactive to anti-bacterial soaps and the industrial strength ones are the worse. Her hands swell, become rashy, red, and start to bleed as they crack from the swelling. I carry special stuff for her in my purse instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Oh, there are lots. Tonight it was, "Do not remove the entire contents of a box of Kleenex and put them in the (water-filled) bathtub." Then it was "Do not remove soggy tissue from the tub and make piles all over the bathroom with it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Jo Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "No chickens on the trampoline." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do not throw that hammer! No it is not Mjolnir. Do not bite the dog! Do not climb the harp! Do not turn your whole body to look around while you pee! Do not throw that shield! I don't care if you're Captain America. Don't give that to the dog. Eewww. Well don't eat it after she licked it. Just give it to her. sigh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicmommy Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 To my then 4 yo ds, "No, we do not climb up the outside of the stairs." To same ds when he was 6. I heard him bouncing on his hoppity hop. (one of those balls with a handle on it). Then I heard him stop for a moment and then go up stairs. "J...you may not bounce on the hoppity hop down the stairs!" To my ever so curious 8yo ds. "No, you don't need to sample all the different colors of food coloring to see if they taste the same." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Do not shoot your little brother unless he's armed!" followed by "Come here and let your little brother shoot you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yeah, well, my son licked the cat today. Apparently, he was grooming him. :glare: His older brother and I were equal amounts of grossed out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 It's been a while since they were younger, but my all time favorite: "No! We do NOT RIDE the ironing board!" One was on top of it, one was beneath it saying, "Hold on, this is going to be fun!" while trying to push the lever to collapse the darn thing!!!! Gave me nightmares! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melik Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Take that money out of your underwear......no honey we don't pee on money, we pee in the toilet.:tongue_smilie: Meli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 It's been a while since they were younger, but my all time favorite: "No! We do NOT RIDE the ironing board!" One was on top of it, one was beneath it saying, "Hold on, this is going to be fun!" while trying to push the lever to collapse the darn thing!!!! Gave me nightmares! :w00t: :ohmy::smilielol5: Seriously cannot breathe! Sometimes it's a miracle they live beyond childhood, no? Oh you ladies have no idea how much I needed this thread today. My 2 yo is working overtime to put herself into the Troublemaker Hall of Fame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 No pouring pepper into a glass of water and giving it to baby sister to drink. No pouring syrup into play dough containers in the living room. No brushing teeth in the toilet. :banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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