Would you give your teen consequences for this expensive mistake?

[Daisy]

The company paid for it and didn't make a huge deal out of it EXCEPT he got a nickname that stuck and he is still called that years later. My point was that mistakes do happen and whether I would hold them responsible for none, part, or all of it would depend entirely upon the child and the circumstances.

 

My dh's boss could've fired him for that - it was an expensive mistake. However, he obviously decided an otherwise loyal, trustworthy, and responsible employee can mistakes, too. If it had been another employee, one who was known to be careless or irresponsible, then he might have fired him.

 

I try to extend grace when possible and save the lessons for when it is necessary.

 

I'm all for extending grace, but I want my children to grow up to be responsible also. I don't think it is "mean" to expect a 17yo to pitch in and help pay for her error.

 

Responsibility is learned at home. If my 17yo came to me and was sorry and offered to pay for the damages, I'd be proud of her. If I had the $500, I'd probably work out a deal with her for a portion of the bill. But no, I wouldn't pay for all of it.

 

And of course, it would very much depend on the individual child and family. I'm not trying to suggest your choice is wrong or that your children would grow up irresponsible (please I'm not saying that). I just think it is different than what I'd probably do.

Edited December 8, 2010 by Daisy

[BeckyFL]

I wouldn't. I'm sure she must feel terrible and I seriously doubt she would ever do it again. I would think she's learned her lesson without the financial penalty, but you know her best.

[mcconnellboys]

Why did the diesel nozzle fit into her car's tank? They are not supposed to fit a standard tank precisely to help prevent such mistakes....

[Kari C in SC]

I probably would make her pay a bit of it. On a side note, my niece just did this as well. Luckily my dh is a mechanic and we live next door. He simply drained the gas tank, put some cleaning agent in and it was all good. Certainly not $500 worth of labor. I would seriously be asking what that mechanic did exactly and how many service hours it called for.

[Meriwether]

It was a mistake. I think my attitude would be more to make sure she understood how it happened, and then discuss how we as a family were going to handle it (ie, pay for it). IDK what your financial situation is, if you can just afford to pay for it. I might say, "This makes things really tight for us. Do you think you could contribute some of every paycheck to help with it?" if that were true, of course. If you can afford it, then I would just chalk it up to one of those expensive mistakes kids make.

:iagree:exactly.

[susankenny]

17yo dd drove our family mini-van last week. Later that night it wasn't running properly, so we ended up taking it to the shop. The service manager said it was burning diesel - we questioned dd who had stopped for gas; she insisted that she put in unleaded. About $500 of repairs later, the van is running perfectly.

 

I just found dd's receipt for gas. She put in diesel.

 

So, does she pay back the repair money? She just started a part time job, about 12 hours a week.

 

No, I wouldn't discipline my child for this. It was an honest mistake.

 

 

Susan

[susankenny]

Why did the diesel nozzle fit into her car's tank? They are not supposed to fit a standard tank precisely to help prevent such mistakes....

 

 

TRUE! Great point!!

[NanceXToo]

Yes, I'd have her help pay for it and not as a punishment. It is just something people do when they make a mistake that requires a repair. You made a mistake, okay. No one is mad. No one thinks badly of you. But you made a mistake and it took money to fix it, so you should do your part to help out.

 

:iagree: I'd have her pay a portion of it, not all of it, based on this.

[Meriwether]

I'm all for extending grace, but I want my children to grow up to be responsible also. I don't think it is "mean" to expect a 17yo to pitch in and help pay for her error.

 

Responsibility is learned at home. If my 17yo came to me and was sorry and offered to pay for the damages, I'd be proud of her. If I had the $500, I'd probably work out a deal with her for a portion of the bill. But no, I wouldn't pay for all of it.

 

And of course, it would very much depend on the individual child and family. I'm not trying to suggest your choice is wrong or that your children would grow up irresponsible (please I'm not saying that). I just think it is different than what I'd probably do.

 

 

See, I agree with this, but I'm looking at my childhood and our family dynamic (my own kids are young enough that I haven't started thinking about them and driving). I grew up on a farm and all the kids pitched in. We were one family unit - not five individuals. My sister totaled my parents' car. She was responsible. But no one thought she should pay for it. You see, she had worked very hard for the good of the family for many years. When I went to college, my parents didn't have the money to replace a different vehicle. My sister and I shared at college and my parents drove my care for about 18 months. We were taught responsibility, but we were responsible for the good of the family. A mistake is a mistake.

[AuntieM]

I'm sure she is probably horrified that she did that! I'd have her pay for half -- just for the lesson that we need to pay attention to what we are doing or there could be some huge (and expensive) consequenses. :grouphug:

 

 

I'd split the cost with her, unless there's evidence that she was maybe chatting away on the cell phone while pumping the gas. That might incur a higher cost. While it may be an "easy" mistake to make, the consequences were high and could have been higher if the vehicle were totally put out of comission.

 

No anger, but yes, consequences.

[Twigs]

FWIW, I don't we do people a favour when we just fix their mistakes for them without any real consequences on their end. I can tell you that I learned a lot of good lessons from that mistake -- the least of which is "don't put diesel in a gasoline engine." I also learned how costly vehicle repairs can be, how long it takes to make $200 working a minimum wage job

 

 

I would at least have her figure out how many hours she would have to work to completely pay for the damage, not at her wage per hour, but her pay minus deductions (taxes, etc.) per hour.

[RoughCollie]

Since in the real world we often have to pay for our mistakes, whether they were intentional or not, I think she should pay for some of it. My first response was to let it go since it was a mistake, until I thought of that. I would not want my kids under the impression that they get to slide on the first of each type of mistake.

 

Personally, I'd charge her $5 a week, which would not hurt too much and would pay for half the cost over a one-year period.

 

If she quits her job, she'd work for me at minimum wage until her debt was paid.

 

Otherwise, I'd just say if it happens again, she will have to pay for the entire cost of repairs ASAP. I'd also point out that we are fortunate that we can afford to pay for the car repair right now.

 

This is all speculative. IRL I'm a wimp where my kids are concerned.

Edited December 9, 2010 by RoughCollie

[grace'smom]

FWIW, I don't we do people a favour when we just fix their mistakes for them without any real consequences on their end. I can tell you that I learned a lot of good lessons from that mistake -- the least of which is "don't put diesel in a gasoline engine." I also learned how costly vehicle repairs can be, how long it takes to make $200 working a minimum wage job, and how my parents set a good example of pragmatism that has stayed with me my whole life. I don't get all angry and worked up over stuff like this because it's not something that warrants a big angry display, but I do believe in taking care of your mistakes yourself. That's the way the real world works.

 

:iagree: This is one of those valuable learning experiences in life. It's not about the mistake, it's about learning that life can often be unexpectedly expensive and how to responsibly handle those expenses.

[phathui5]

So, does she pay back the repair money?

 

Yes. I'd think at least half of it. Even though it was a mistake, it was a mistake that cost the family money and she should cover it.

[nd293]

No consequences.

 

Last week I drove on a flat tire until I wrecked it. It was my fault, if I'd been more aware, it would not have happened. Should my dh make me feel really bad about it just to make sure I don't make the same stupid mistake again? Perhaps I should do extra chores around the house to make up for it? Wash his car? Iron his socks? Go without take-out coffee, chocolates and other treats until I've worked off the debt? I don't think so, no... (Anyway, there are so many new stupid mistakes for me to make - this week I managed to lock myself out the house and run out of petrol).

Edited December 8, 2010 by nd293

[Night Elf]

If you haven't formally taught her that there's a difference and which to use, then no, I wouldn't make her pay for her mistake. If it was truly a mistake, I'm sure she's going to be horrified enough. IF you feel the need to have her pay, I definitely won't have her pay for the full amount.

 

:iagree: I'm going to talk to dd18. I am not sure I ever mentioned diesel to her. The station I go to has a different sized nozzle. I learned that about a month ago. :tongue_smilie:

[AuntieM]

No consequences.

 

Last week I drove on a flat tire until I wrecked it. My fault, if I'd been more aware, it would not have happened. Should my dh make me feel really bad about it just to make sure I don't make the same stupid mistake again? I don't think so, no... (Anyway, there are so many new stupid mistakes for me to make - this week I managed to lock myself out the house and run out of petrol).

 

Administering appropriate consequences is not the same as what's bolded above...

[Night Elf]

No consequences.

 

Last week I drove on a flat tire until I wrecked it. My fault, if I'd been more aware, it would not have happened. Should my dh make me feel really bad about it just to make sure I don't make the same stupid mistake again? I don't think so, no... (Anyway, there are so many new stupid mistakes for me to make - this week I managed to lock myself out the house and run out of petrol).

 

I borrowed my dd18's car and wanted to surprise her with a clean car when I returned it. I forgot her antenna is electric and I didn't put it down while the car wash was running. It cost $125 to have it replaced. Egads!

[Night Elf]

Administering appropriate consequences is not the same as what's bolded above...

 

It is for people who use humiliation to teach a lesson. My first husband thought it was highly appropriate when I did something wrong, and he has always used the same tactic on our daughter. He believes humiliation is good motivation to not repeat a mistake.

 

Not that I'm saying the OP would do that but obviously more than one of us understands its a possibility.

[unsinkable]

How in the world did she get the nozzle in the gas tank?

 

Around here, the diesel nozzles are much bigger than regular and you'd need a crowbar to jam it in there, to prevent this very thing from happening.

 

Do you trust your repair shop?

[Murphy101]

Well, my dad made me pay the $250 deductible when I backed out of the garage before I opened the garage door. I was 17 and working about 12 hours a week at $5 an hour, so that was a big hit! I think his point was that if I was going to drive, I had to accept FULL responsibility as a driver. Full responsibility includes paying for damages from accidents/mistakes.

 

My dd will start driving soon and I will have the same policy. It sets the stage for adult decisions leading to adult consequences.

 

This is one of those valuable learning experiences in life. It's not about the mistake' date=' it's about learning that life can often be unexpectedly expensive and how to responsibly handle those expenses.[/quote']

 

:iagree:

You screw up, you deal with the consequence. It's not a punishment or guilt trip. It's life. Suck it up. Make it up.

Moving on a bit wiser. One hopes.

 

If they quit to avoid paying, driving privileges would be revoked until the debt was paid and they had another job. Again, not a punishment or guilt trip. Just life. You can't afford your car repair, you tend to not have a car to drive.

 

Teaching them they are entitled to a life sans such natural consequences just because they feel bad is settling them up for failure and disappointment. Not to mention it condones emotional manipulation.

[Sun]

I wouldn't. I think punishments should be more about teaching. First time is an honest mistake. I doubt she will make it again. (I know my kids would be mortified just at having caused so much damage.) If she does it again, she would be expected to pay for repairs.

 

:iagree: I remember as a teenager trying to put leaded gas in our unleaded car. Luckily the nozzle wouldn't fit, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong until another customer helped me.

 

If it were me, unless I had previously had very explicit conversations about using only unleaded gas and had emphasized the importance of not using diesel, I'd just chalk it up to a rookie mistake. Yes, it was expensive, but whether she has to pay or not, I suspect that she'll remember this lesson forever.

 

I'd also suggest thinking about how you want to be remembered with regard to this incident. She'll learn the lesson about diesel vs. gas regardless - to me, the real question is what lessons do you want to teach about how your family treats mistakes. Do you value compassion and grace and forgive it? Do you value personal responsibility and making things right and require her to pay it?

[Catwoman]

You screw up, you deal with the consequence. It's not a punishment or guilt trip. It's life. Suck it up. Make it up.

Moving on a bit wiser. One hopes.

 

If they quit to avoid paying, driving privileges would be revoked until the debt was paid and they had another job. Again, not a punishment or guilt trip. Just life. You can't afford your car repair, you tend to not have a car to drive.

 

Teaching them they are entitled to a life sans such natural consequences just because they feel bad is settling them up for failure and disappointment. Not to mention it condones emotional manipulation.

 

I think you're being a bit harsh. I think it's a bit extreme to suggest that the OP's dd is being set up for failure and disappointment if they pay this one bill for her. If it becomes a pattern of behavior, all bets are off, but right now, this was a one-time error that was unintentional.

 

When I was growing up, my parents paid for everything for me, but I also knew that when I became an adult, I might not have as much money and I would have more responsibilities. I survived just fine, and failure and disappointment never entered the equation. Just because parents pay for things, does not mean that they aren't helping their dc learn valuable life lessons.

 

The kid made a stupid mistake. We've all made them. I didn't get the slightest indication that she was trying to emotionally manipulate her parents into letting her off the hook. I was under the impression that she was very sorry about it.

 

Cat

[Murphy101]

I think you're being a bit harsh. I think it's a bit extreme to suggest that the OP's dd is being set up for failure and disappointment if they pay this one bill for her. If it becomes a pattern of behavior, all bets are off, but right now, this was a one-time error that was unintentional.

 

Oddly enough the pattern of parenting behavior sets the stage. I am not suggesting that the OP is doing anything. I am saying that IMHO, a parental pattern of bailout can tend to a pattern in the adult children.

 

All mistakes are unintentional. That wasn't in question at all. I have no doubt her dd feels bad about it. Not that feelings make a difference in getting the car repaired. If they want to pay it, fine. But I wouldn't because to me the mid teens and later are times when they start to learn they have to deal with life consequences more directly.

 

When I was growing up, my parents paid for everything for me, but I also knew that when I became an adult, I might not have as much money and I would have more responsibilities. I survived just fine, and failure and disappointment never entered the equation.

 

Good for you.

 

didn't get the slightest indication that she was trying to emotionally manipulate her parents into letting her off the hook. I was under the impression that she was very sorry about it.

Cat

 

I didn't say she was. I said that teaching kids that feeling bad about a mistake is the only consequence they should expect, can be condoning emotional manipulation. Sure, once probably won't do that. I agree about a pattern. The question is whether this will be one of those once occasions or not for the parents. In my house it wouldn't be.

 

I have no doubt my kid would be very upset about it.

I'd hug him and commensurate that it sucks.

And explain that this is life.

Feelings just don't have much to do with getting a car repair.

No point beating ourselves up over it, let's just move on to fixing the situation and resolving to avoid that mistake.

[Catwoman]

Thanks for the clarification, Martha! :)

 

Cat

[Abigail4476]

No consequences.

 

Last week I drove on a flat tire until I wrecked it. It was my fault, if I'd been more aware, it would not have happened. Should my dh make me feel really bad about it just to make sure I don't make the same stupid mistake again? Perhaps I should do extra chores around the house to make up for it? Wash his car? Iron his socks? Go without take-out coffee, chocolates and other treats until I've worked off the debt? I don't think so, no... (Anyway, there are so many new stupid mistakes for me to make - this week I managed to lock myself out the house and run out of petrol).

 

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the OP should make her daughter feel really bad about it. (Are they?) Consequences are about helping your kids learn responsibility; not about beating your kids over the heads with their mistakes. Consequences can be implemented with a forgiving hug and a friendly smile for that matter. No threats, anger or intimidation needed.

 

Also, your relationship with your husband is vastly different from that with your children isn't it? He isn't charged with teaching you anything; you should be intellectual and social equals. Conversely, you have a responsibility to teach your children to be responsible adults, and having to pay part of a car repair is a good way to make real life a little more real.

Edited December 9, 2010 by Abigail4476

[Brilliant]

Wow, I didn't expect this one to get to 8 pages. :)

 

More info related to questions asked:

 

- Just to be clear, neither dh nor I are angry with her, and we don't want to humiliate her.

- She is generally careful with stuff.

- re: the diesel pump nozzle - I thought it couldn't be done, either, but the mechanic said it's very common.

- The repairs were just over $400 to drain the fuel tank, clean out the injectors, etc. When you add in the cost of the wasted gas/diesel, plus the car I had to rent for 2 days, it came to $500. I don't know if the $400 cost from the dealer was fair or not. :confused:

 

She is out with the van now. :) And dh is still at work. When we are all at home together tonight we'll get this figured out and I'll update the thread with what happened.

[Hedgehog]

I guess my question would be: "What do you achieve by not giving this young lady any consequences for her action, and what do you achieve if you do?" Really only the OP knows her dd well enough to answer that. I know it was a genuine mistake and she's very sorry, but it has cost money and inconvenienced others. :confused:

 

My only experience with such a thing is when I flicked the wing mirror off my parents' car, trying to get down their very skinny driveway. I'm pretty sure I had to contribute to the cost of getting it fixed, but I know I didn't pay for all of it. And I'm paranoid of that driveway to this day! It gives me the pip just contemplating driving in or out!

[Hedgehog]

- She is generally careful with stuff.

 

This would be a key point for me. I'd be very inclined to leave it after a little chat about paying attention :001_smile:

[Pretty in Pink]

I would probably ask my child to contribute upwards of ~ 100.00 towards that repair cost. I think this sort of thing is to be somewhat, expected isn't the right word, but that's sort of what I'm getting at.

[Amy loves Bud]

Okay, veering off into the theoretical here, just for the sake of discussion.

 

This is an all play question. ;)

 

What if the dd had done something equally careless that had caused her personal injury, resulting in a $500 medical bill? What would the hive's response been to a parent asking whether she should pay for her medical bill?

[Murphy101]

Okay, veering off into the theoretical here, just for the sake of discussion.

 

This is an all play question. ;)

 

What if the dd had done something equally careless that had caused her personal injury, resulting in a $500 medical bill? What would the hive's response been to a parent asking whether she should pay for her medical bill?

 

Just might pending the situation. Not that it matters to this situation.

 

I have not said that I wouldn't pay for any mistake my kid ever made.

 

Just that I probably would expect them to cover this one.

 

Either way, whether they felt bad about it or not, wouldn't make a big difference to my decision. Tho I'd probably offer an extra hug if I knew they were upset about it.

[Plucky]

I guess my question would be: "What do you achieve by not giving this young lady any consequences for her action, and what do you achieve if you do?" Really only the OP knows her dd well enough to answer that. I know it was a genuine mistake and she's very sorry, but it has cost money and inconvenienced others. :confused:

 

My only experience with such a thing is when I flicked the wing mirror off my parents' car, trying to get down their very skinny driveway. I'm pretty sure I had to contribute to the cost of getting it fixed, but I know I didn't pay for all of it. And I'm paranoid of that driveway to this day! It gives me the pip just contemplating driving in or out!

 

:iagree: For me that would be the crux of it, what lesson am I teaching? I know with my older two they are extremely conscientious, and they tend to be amazed at our ability to forgive them. That really touches their heart.

 

I don't think making a teen pay $100 is unreasonable. If I had a kiddo with a bad attitude, who seems entitled, they'd be working off the whole thing.

[ondreeuh]

Okay, veering off into the theoretical here, just for the sake of discussion.

 

This is an all play question. ;)

 

What if the dd had done something equally careless that had caused her personal injury, resulting in a $500 medical bill? What would the hive's response been to a parent asking whether she should pay for her medical bill?

 

At 16+ they are really in training to leave the nest. As they take on adult responsibilities, those should come with adult consequences. Driving is one of the first real adult-like responsibilities children have, and I think it's important to give it that seriousness. Similarly, if my daughter broke something at her place of work, I would expect her to handle it herself. I certainly wouldn't be chipping in or arguing with her employer about it.

 

When we were in college, my dh had a bad habit of getting incompletes in his classes. His parents were paying his tuition, and finally told him that he would be paying for his classes upfront and they would reimburse him if he got a C or better. IMO that was completely appropriate!

 

Breaking an ankle or something like that is in a different category altogether, IMO.

[Meriwether]

Okay, veering off into the theoretical here, just for the sake of discussion.

 

This is an all play question. ;)

 

What if the dd had done something equally careless that had caused her personal injury, resulting in a $500 medical bill? What would the hive's response been to a parent asking whether she should pay for her medical bill?

 

 

I was thinking about just this while washing dishes tonight. I finally pinpointed what bothered me about this. In one of my college classes, I had to read Candida Erendida. The whole time I was reading I thought, "She made a mistake. It was just a mistake." So, to what extent do you hold your child responsible, financially or otherwise, for things that might happen to anyone? Some questions I asked myself were:

 

Dropping a can of paint and ruining a carpet? (Dd dropped a paint can, but thankfully it landed on a linoleum floor)

 

Burning down the house? (my first thought on remembering Candida)

 

Doing something that resulted in the death of a sibling? (anything from a toddler sharing a toy with a baby to a motor vehicle accident - like when my sister drove over my brother with a tractor ETA: my brother didn't die, this was just the incident in my past that prompted my thoughts)

 

I hadn't thought of injuries requiring medical care, but that will give me more to consider.

Edited December 9, 2010 by Meriwether

[Kim in Appalachia]

it is a consequence not a punishment. If she can learn that even foolish mishaps can have expensive consequences now, she may be more careful and less surprised later.

 

We all do stupid things because for a moment we forget to pay attention, and it can come back to bite us. As an adult you suffer the consequences of even unintentional mistakes. She needs to learn that.

[JennyD]

when my sister drove over my brother with a tractor)

 

.

 

Oh my goodness, how horrible.

[Nestof3]

Wow -- I just think you expressed yourself so well here!

 

I would agree with this. I remember doing the exact same thing when I was a teen and a new driver. It was a $200 repair bill then, and I had to pay it back to my parents. They presented it to me as a simple matter of car maintenance and repair -- honest mistake or not, we all have to pay for maintenance and repairs. I thought it was fair, and was grateful they didn't get angry with me or otherwise punish me for that, like taking away my driving privileges.

 

FWIW, I don't we do people a favour when we just fix their mistakes for them without any real consequences on their end. I can tell you that I learned a lot of good lessons from that mistake -- the least of which is "don't put diesel in a gasoline engine." I also learned how costly vehicle repairs can be, how long it takes to make $200 working a minimum wage job, and how my parents set a good example of pragmatism that has stayed with me my whole life. I don't get all angry and worked up over stuff like this because it's not something that warrants a big angry display, but I do believe in taking care of your mistakes yourself. That's the way the real world works.

[Brilliant]

 

What if the dd had done something equally careless that had caused her personal injury, resulting in a $500 medical bill? What would the hive's response been to a parent asking whether she should pay for her medical bill?

 

No, there would be no question for me in that case. I expect to pay my minor child's medical bills, even if the bills are due to an accident.

 

The car is different, because driving is a privilege. Most places that my dd drives herself are places she WANTS to go.

[katilac]

If I did this, I would have to pay for it - or would I? In reality, the money would come out of the savings account. It would suck, but the money is there for that purpose. I wouldn't really feel the pain on a day to day basis; my spending money would not change. Same for dh.

 

For that reason, I would definitely not charge her the full amount, if anything. We always stress that our family is a team; we're in it together, good times and bad. Everyone pitches in and does their best. That wouldn't feel true to me anymore if I made the kids pay every penny for a stupid mistake, when dh and I don't (in the sense that we suffer no personal consequence other than feeling really, really stupid and guilty, lol).

 

If I did have her pay for part of it, I would make it an amount that could be paid in no more than a month or two. However graceful you are about it, being reminded of a stupid mistake for six months to a year is hard to take, and might breed resentment.

 

Drivers at dh's work aren't expected to individually pay for any accidents or acts of stupidity, just like salesmen aren't expected to pay when a math error means they lose money on a sale. They are a team. They share a percentage of profits. The whole team benefits when someone makes a great sale, and the whole team takes a hit when someone makes a mistake. That's how I think of it.

 

Two last things: one, I can totally see myself doing this. Only the complete separation of the diesel pumps on a different 'island' saves me :lol:. Two, this is a great reminder to those of us who haven't reached this stage to really think hard about what our expectations are going to be, and to communicate them clearly. If a teen is told very clearly that they will pay for all repairs in full, then they can make an informed decision about driving the family car. I do think that, if I were to go that route, I wouldn't allow the driving to begin until they had saved a cushion of money.

[justamouse]

I'm glad Jersey doesn't allow us to pump our own gas!

[Ritsumei]

I think that to give her a "free pass" on this - that is, to charge her nothing for this very expensive mistake, would do her no favors. To me, that's teaching that someone else will bail you out, don't worry about being responsible. I'd keep the amount that she pays reasonable - perhaps even include her in determining what she can afford, or setting up a payment plan, so it's not too much at any given time. I'd certainly take into account if this is a one-time distraction or an ongoing issue with attentiveness. But I'd charge her something either way. Even if you charge her the full $500, it's still a much more gentle lesson than it would be in a year or two when it's her own car that's not running right, and she's got to decide between paying for the car repairs or rent. Or whatever the next (bigger) problem is, because she didn't learn the lesson now, in the relative safety of home. Yes, $500 is a lot of money. But now, when she's got no bills, even if it's all her money for the month, it's a lot less than it will be once she's living independently, on a shoestring budget!

[Renthead Mommy]

I'm glad Jersey doesn't allow us to pump our own gas!

 

I always had that thought when I lived there!

 

Now whenever I'm going to Jersey, I ALWAYS fill up when I'm there. My husband thought it was because I didn't want to fill the tank, but NJ is so much cheaper than Long Island so that's why I do it. Besides, I found a great little station that pumps it for me for the same price so I still don't have to pump if I can go to that one!:lol:

 

But if you do live in Jersey, or that (I think one other state with a similar law) be sure to teach your kid how to pump gas. Figuring it out yourself for the first time while standing in PA is, well embarrassing. Of course I wasn't far into PA, so the guy just shook his head and said something 'you jersey people'.

 

But it goes back to my orginal question. Was she ever actually told there is a difference between diesel and gas, how to tell them apart, and what would happen if she used the wrong one? Because I was never told how to pump gas. When I asked my mother why she never told how to do that, she said soemthing like "I guess I figured you just knew." (She'd been licensed/drove for 20+ years in another state. I'd gotten my license in NJ.)

 

How could I have known? I'd never been told or had to do it.

[LibraryLover]

If one of mine did this, we'd have to do emotional damage control. We have a couple of kids who ride themselves, and we have to be here to tell them to chill.

[LibraryLover]

I'm glad Jersey doesn't allow us to pump our own gas!

 

 

:lol: I just told my dh, "Too bad this poor kid doesn't live in Jersey!" I loooooooove NJ for this very reason. I put up my feet and cruise into the state. "Fill her up" is my motto. I can't tell you how many times I've been thrilled to realize that I am low on gas, but have just passed the state line into Jersey. :) :lol:

Edited December 9, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Leola]

But it goes back to my orginal question. Was she ever actually told there is a difference between diesel and gas, how to tell them apart, and what would happen if she used the wrong one? Because I was never told how to pump gas. When I asked my mother why she never told how to do that, she said soemthing like "I guess I figured you just knew." (She'd been licensed/drove for 20+ years in another state. I'd gotten my license in NJ.)

 

How could I have known? I'd never been told or had to do it.

 

If it was something I hadn't taught her specifically, I wouldn't make her pay. But if I had, then I would have her pay for part of it.

[ondreeuh]

 

But if you do live in Jersey, or that (I think one other state with a similar law) be sure to teach your kid how to pump gas.

 

That other state would be Oregon! I've only had to pump my own gas a handful of times. I just stay in my nice, warm, dry car and hand over my debit card.

[LibraryLover]

That other state would be Oregon! I've only had to pump my own gas a handful of times. I just stay in my nice, warm, dry car and hand over my debit card.

 

 

Woot!

[Catwoman]

Doing something that resulted in the death of a sibling? - like when my sister drove over my brother with a tractor

 

 

grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Oh my gosh! That is just awful -- what an unimaginable tragedy for your family! I'm so sorry! :grouphug:

 

Cat

[Meriwether]

Oh my goodness, how horrible.

 

My brother didn't die. I was just thinking to myself of times in my life when something could have gone terribly wrong. The clutch popped out and he was standing too close to avoid (he was talking to her and standing right in front of the rear tire). The large rear tire crossed his torso in a diagonal line. The tire scraped the side of his face so it missed running over his head by inches. He hit the back of his head so hard that he was blind temporarily. She led him back to the house, so it was at least 1/2 an hour, maybe hour before he started getting his sight back. It was scary. They could have acted more safely, but if he had died, no one would have "blamed" her, except herself. My brother would even tell you that he was more at fault, because he knew that tractor a whole lot better than she did.

 

ETA: It was actually a miracle. He had no long term injuries as a result. No broken ribs. No damaged organs. He was back to form as soon as the scrapes and bruises healed.

Edited December 9, 2010 by Meriwether