S/O of free condoms....What age do you have "the talk" with dc?

[woolybear]

Both of my boys still quite innocent. I think they behave age appropriately. I like it this way and it is one of the reasons we homeschool. However, my older ds is going to be 10 soon. I don't want him encountering much information about s*x prior to learning about it from us. I would rather wait on "the talk" till I think he is really ready or curious. However, we don't live in a bubble. Just wondering.....how do all of you handle this?

[KidsHappen]

Well, I started with the talks as soons as I was pregnant again or whenever the kids started asking questions about my periods which was between say 3 and 6. We never had one big the talk but discussed things as they came up and answered their questions as they had them. All of my children except my youngest has attended the birth of a sibling. My kids know all of the basics and then some. Ten seems a little old to me but then most of my kids were girls so they made have made a difference being that they all started their periods at 11. The public school formally cover this starting in the fifth grade.

[Diane in CO]

I am looking forward to reading the responses on this thread. My oldest just turned 9 and I have been wondering when we should talk to him as well.

 

Diane

[AppleGreen]

We have answered questions as they have come up. They have gotten a bit more specific and we have handled those with frankness. We have the book It's So Amazing on the bookshelf and he has gone through that several times. We often ask if he has any questions and I have suggested that my dh make himself available for any questions (and of course he is, I was suggesting making it explicitly known to DS). So, I guess we will just keep revisiting it w/ (hopefully) age appropriate discussions.

 

 

:lurk5: (for my daughter)

[HeidiKC]

My husband told my son this spring when he was 10.5 and in 4th grade. I really didn't want him to since he doesn't seem interested in that at all and I just didn't see any reason for him to have that info yet. He's still mostly a little kid! My husband's main reason for wanting to tell him was that he wanted him to hear it from us before he heard it from a friend. I kept asking around to see if our friends' sons knew, and I'd say a bit less than half had told them this year at age 10, and the rest were planning to fairly soon.

 

Well, last month I took my son and 5 friends to the Drive-In movie. We have a minivan and 3 of the kids were sitting in the back end and the other two and I were sitting right outside it. I was right there and didn't hear anything! When my son was in bed he tells me and my husband, "Henry was telling Andrew about sex tonight"!!! WHAT??!!! I tried to act casual about it and find out if any of the other boys heard and if Henry had accurate info. My son was really embarrassed and didn't want to talk about it, but said "it seemed like it was right"!

 

So of course the next day I had to call the two boys who Henry "educated". Neither of their parents had told them the facts yet. One boy turns 10 this month and the other is 10.5. They handled it well, were not angry and said it was about time for the talk anyway. So then I had to call Henry's mom and told her I know we all tell our kids not to talk to others about sex, but sometimes it is hard to resist, etc. Well... surprise, surprise... she and her husband were shocked that Henry knew anything at all about sex because they hadn't told him! So who knows how he knew, but that night 3 other boys got a bit of an education (my son was one of them and he already knew, thank goodness).

 

Anyway, turns out my husband was right. It wouldn't have been the end of the world if he'd heard it first from this boy, but of course we wanted to tell him our views on this, what it all means, etc. when he first learned about it. I doubt he would have mentioned this to us (Henry letting the cat out of the bag) if it was the first time he'd heard it and who knows how long it would have been before he'd gotten it from us.

 

So I guess that's my advice - keep in mind that at this age, there are plenty of kids who do know and you'd be surprised who, and who might tell him. And the kid might also not have the correct info.

 

I also think it probably is more common that girls learn about this earlier, mainly because they (or friends) are experiencing body changes earlier.

 

Our church offers THE TALK to families with kids in 4th and 5th grades. This was at the beginning of the year and I felt like my son was too young. I am considering it for 5th grade. Even though my husband told him the basics, he didn't really go through menstruation and all that.

[angela in ohio]

I didn't have one talk. I had a series of small talks of increasingly detailed information. I have had to initiate, as they haven't asked any questions.

[JoyfulMama]

Well, I started with the talks as soons as I was pregnant again or whenever the kids started asking questions about my periods which was between say 3 and 6. We never had one big the talk but discussed things as they came up and answered their questions as they had them. ...

 

:iagree:This has also come up when someone else is pregnant or has a baby.

 

I had a discussion with my mom the other month about her lack of comfort talking about sex with me when I was growing up. She was brought up that it was a topic that was NOT discussed. She came to the school in 5th grade and watched a video on menstruation with me, but there was no real further discussion. I learned how to use tampons by myself from ones she had in the hall closet. I had health and sex ed in 6th, 8th, and 11th grades. There was no discussion at home at all. She didn't know how. The closest she got was watching a couple after-school specials with my brothers and I.

I consider that my sex education was 2-fold. I got the factual information from school. (I thought I already knew most of it from the playground, though.) I learned about the mechanics. I learned about STDs. I learned about birth control options. Same info in 6th, 8th, and 11th grades. And from my incredible youth group leader I learned about the emotional rollercoasters of relationships, what a good relationship should look like and feel like, and most importantly that I had value in being myself.

My mom knew nothing of birth control options or STDs, and felt that the school was much more able to educate me on these topics than either of my parents were. She wanted me to be prepared to make decisions about my body as I became an adult. She wanted me to respect my body more than anything, for she knew that I would treasure what I respected.

[Daisy]

We introduce the concepts gradually and in a really easy-going way. The time period I'm going to give you is just based on when the final conversation was finished not when we started the topic.

 

By 5, both my children understood about fetal development, were aware of safety in regards to personal space, and knew what abortion meant (since it came up when discussing fetal development)

By 8 (my daughter) and 9 (plan with my son), they knew about puberty and the changes they (but not necessarily the opposite sex) would go through. We had discussed homosexuality with them but not from a sexual standpoint but rather relationally (That sometimes two men or two women choose to live together in the same way that Mom and Dad do).

 

By 11, a full understanding of sexual intercourse, marriage, pre-marital sex, teen pregnancy, sexual abuse, stages of puberty in the opposite sex, etc. (but my daughter had started her period by then).

Edited June 26, 2010 by Daisy

[Mommee & Baba]

We haven't had the sex talk per say. We have answered their questions and their concerns with honest and clean answers. We've not needed to go into full detail but my DD7 and DD5 are both still young in my opinion. And our DS is only 16m..so no time soon with him.

 

I think for us as a family and the way dh and I parent...any questions will be answered no matter the age. We'll adjust our wording for the answer according to their age allowing them to understand for their age. Make sense?

[woolybear]

Older ds asked some questions in the past, but not for a couple of years. So, I guess I asked this because he is NOT asking questions and I would prefer he doesn't get his information at the playground. On the other hand, I'd prefer not to talk with him about it, if he is not interested yet.

[Garga]

My kids are 7 and 5. We'd always mentioned in passing, "When you're married and have kids...." so they always thought you HAD to be married to have kids.

 

So, when my ds 7 finally noticed someone with kids who wasn't married, he looked quizzical and said, "Hey! They're not married! How did they get pregnant??!"

 

Before I got too technical, I wanted to feel out exactly what info he was looking for. So I started by saying that the way to become pregnant usually involves "mating" which starts with kissing.

 

He HATES to see kissing on tv and jokes around and makes a big deal of covering his eyes and saying, "Eww! Tell me when it's over!"

 

So I said, "If you really want to know exactly how babies are made, I will tell you. But I have to warn you, it's 'kissing stuff.' Do you really want to know?"

 

He didn't really want to know. He just wanted to know that you could get pregnant w/o being married. Once he heard that it involved mushy kissing-type stuff, he didn't want to know any more.

 

My point: Find out exactly what they are asking if they ask about it until they're 10. And then tell them when they're 10 as part of an anatomy lesson. And as they get older, start to fold in the emotional/std, etc. aspects to it.

Edited June 26, 2010 by Garga

[Garga]

Oh--another thing!

 

A friend of mine's dd6 came up to her and said, very seriously, "Mom. I'm going to ask you a question and I don't want you to tell me that you don't know the answer. How are babies made?"

 

In that case, the little girl was ready and really wanted to know.

 

When they ask, you have to assess if the child really wants to know the details or not. And then when they're about 10, just tell them.

[Melora in NC]

I would have been willing to "talk" earlier, but our ds didn't seem ready for a description of the mechanics until he was eleven. And we are shy people, so I bought How You Are Changing, for Boys ages 10-12, gave it to him to read, and told him I'd be happy to discuss anything that he might have questions about. He quickly skimmed his way to the bits he'd been curious about, read, and handed me back the book looking totally horrified! He told me that he had thought that genetic material was exchanged through saliva, during kissing, and that he will Never have children.

My dd is more mature for her age and not nearly so sqeamish, and if it doesn't come up earlier I expect I'll have to "talk" to her when she is 10-ish.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Well, all of my kids except the youngest have been around pregnancy and birth. So they know where the baby comes from. ;). I have always answered questions as they come up. I just answered age appropriately.

I had a big talk this year separately with both my dd9 and dd8 about the full process of sex, fertilization, baby, birth...

So they know the basics. I am sure as they have boyfriends and date and get older that there will be more talks on a more personal nature than just the facts.

It turns out the dd9 had already heard the facts at ps in the 3rd grade. Who knew? I sure didn't know that they taught sex ed in 3rd grade and didn't have to notify the parents. Thankfully, I pulled dd8 before 3rd grade and my youngers will not go to public school again. I should have had a naive and stupid hat on for thinking that the children would learn academics in that place.

I am leaving the "talk" with the boys up to DH. I answer questions if they ask me, but like with the girls and the time comes to lay the facts out there...I want it to be a father-son moment. My oldest son is 7 so I think it will be a while. What he knows so far comes from when his little brother was born.

[Wheres Toto]

My son is going to be 5 this summer and he's asking all kinds of questions about how a baby gets into the mommy's belly, how it gets out and how come he's not going to be able to have a baby in his belly. So, we're doing a simple version of The Talk already. I plan it to be an ongoing thing as he asks questions, not a one time big thing. I think turning it into a special thing - THE TALK gives it more weight than it needs to have. I want sex to be something that my kids always feel they can come to me and talk about so I don't want to handle it as some special serious topic.

 

My oldest got sex ed at school and at home at various times. Often she would ask me further questions about what she learned at school and we would expand on it. She still comes to me with a variety of questions, discusses boys and how they act, etc. Keeping the conversations casual makes it easier for kids to bring it up anytime, IMO.

[lakotajm]

Older ds asked some questions in the past, but not for a couple of years. So, I guess I asked this because he is NOT asking questions and I would prefer he doesn't get his information at the playground. On the other hand, I'd prefer not to talk with him about it, if he is not interested yet.

 

I am just curious about why you seem reluctant to discuss this with him. It is just a natural biological thing. It will come up eventually. Better for it to be too soon than too late. Because, what exactly would be the harm in it coming early? None that I can see. But there is definitely infinitely more harm in it coming late. if you are uncomfortable because of moral, religious reasons or because of past sexual abuse, you may need to find a surrogate to bring it up with him-someone you trust totally. 10 is definitely pushing it. He should already know the basics of where babies come from and puberty by now. The more detailed sexual stuff can come gradually, year by year.

 

With my dd13, we have had a mother/daughter night once a year for the past 5 years, where we get a hotel room, hang out, order pizza, watch a movie-whatever. Then we have a good discussion about whatever seems appropriate at that age, complete with books or lots of questions. It has gotten less about that the past two years, as she is reluctant to discuss it now-seems bored with the subject. But at least the overnighter is still a good bonding experience, which will help if she needs to really discuss something someday. It needn't be as expensive as a hotel room. Maybe camping would be good for your ds?

 

Lakota

[Guest rubilynne4]

well for my dd9, i haven't had the sex talk yet, but we did get The Body Book, It's a God Thing to read and discuss together. i only did this because i saw signs she was maturing if you kwim. maybe there is a boy version of that type of book. i think the important thing is to have the kind of relationship with your child that they feel comfortable talking to you about anything. now how you do that, i am still learning. needless to say i did let my dd know that any questions about this subject should be directed towards me or dad (yes she has that kind of relationship w/dad and i am so glad), or i gave her the option if she's not comfortable discussing it with me, we could find another trusted lady at our church to talk to (she opted for me :D). the reason i gave her for not talking with friends is that sometimes friends don't have all the correct information, and also it is something that parents should discuss with their own children when they feel the time is right. whew! i was not expecting to have this talk so soon, but i think i'm doing ok.

[ereks mom]

My dc each had a sex-ed course of sorts when they were in 5th grade. I tailored a boy's course for ER and a girl's course for EK. We covered basic human anatomy (of both sexes), what to expect physically & emotionally during puberty, stages of puberty in the opposite sex, personal hygiene, and we also covered the basic facts concerning sexual intercourse, human conception, fetal development, and birth. I can't remember the names of all the books we used, but one (of many) that EK read was The Care and Keeping of You, which is published by the American Girl people.

Edited June 26, 2010 by ereks mom

[Excelsior! Academy]

We've answered questions when they arised. Making sure what they were asking...Sometimes the answer to where do I come from is Toledo, kwim? ;)

 

My girls have always known about childbirth and periods, just not the whole process. So when my oldest was 9 or 10 I gave her the American Girls' book The Care and Keeping of You. It avoids s*x, but describes developement.

 

At 12 we used The Wonderful Way Babies are Made. She got really quiet. I asked her a few questions, and her response was she knew some of it already, but not all. I told her I'd be glad to talk about it. She has never brought it up again. We've got a pretty open relationship so I know she'll come ask if she's interested in more information. She's now 13 and still thinks the whole boy/girl thing is creepy so it may be a while.

[gpsings]

We don't have 'the talk'...we are just honest with them as things come up. It hasn't occurred to my kids to ask exactly how sex is done, they understand that the daddy plants the seed in the mommy and that's called sex. When they are ready to ask more questions, they will get more honest answers.

I think that's the natural way to do it, right? And I don't feel like my kids are burdened with information they aren't ready for and don't know what to do with, but then the shock of 'the talk' isn't 100% right to me, either. I hope we can always be honest, and not make a big deal out of it.

[higginszoo]

Well, I started with the talks as soons as I was pregnant again or whenever the kids started asking questions about my periods which was between say 3 and 6. We never had one big the talk but discussed things as they came up and answered their questions as they had them. All of my children except my youngest has attended the birth of a sibling. My kids know all of the basics and then some. Ten seems a little old to me but then most of my kids were girls so they made have made a difference being that they all started their periods at 11. The public school formally cover this starting in the fifth grade.

We took this continuous approach, too. I sat down with older dd this winter (she was 10 1/2) and reviewed things and went over puberty stuff since I'm not sure when it will hit (my period came with no other warning signs, so I wanted her to be prepared, just in case).

[pqr]

nt

Edited June 26, 2010 by pqr

[woolybear]

I am just curious about why you seem reluctant to discuss this with him. It is just a natural biological thing. It will come up eventually. Better for it to be too soon than too late. Because, what exactly would be the harm in it coming early? None that I can see. But there is definitely infinitely more harm in it coming late. if you are uncomfortable because of moral, religious reasons or because of past sexual abuse, you may need to find a surrogate to bring it up with him-someone you trust totally. 10 is definitely pushing it. He should already know the basics of where babies come from and puberty by now. The more detailed sexual stuff can come gradually, year by year.

 

With my dd13, we have had a mother/daughter night once a year for the past 5 years, where we get a hotel room, hang out, order pizza, watch a movie-whatever. Then we have a good discussion about whatever seems appropriate at that age, complete with books or lots of questions. It has gotten less about that the past two years, as she is reluctant to discuss it now-seems bored with the subject. But at least the overnighter is still a good bonding experience, which will help if she needs to really discuss something someday. It needn't be as expensive as a hotel room. Maybe camping would be good for your ds?

 

Lakota

 

Right after the part you put in bold, I said "if he is not interested yet." I think that might be introducing the subject prematurely. That is all. Not that I am not comfortable with it. I just thought perhaps if he is not interested then there is no reason to introduce it yet. However, I do see the point that some others are making here. That just introducing the subject slowly and gently is natural and healthy. I like what Linda said, "...truth--presented lovingly--will help them grow as they ought."

[Gratia271]

Right after the part you put in bold, I said "if he is not interested yet." I think that might be introducing the subject prematurely. That is all. Not that I am not comfortable with it. I just thought perhaps if he is not interested then there is no reason to introduce it yet. However, I do see the point that some others are making here. That just introducing the subject slowly and gently is natural and healthy. I like what Linda said, "...truth--presented lovingly--will help them grow as they ought."

 

:iagree:

As with other private matters, I believe parents need to follow the cues of their children. We need to be open with our children, availing ourselves of natural opportunities to discuss these matters. If there is no desire for this information on their part after we have broached the topic, then my response is to back off. They need to know we as parents are comfortable with and accessible for any discussion they desire to have when they desire to have it.

[Whereneverever]

I handle it the way I handle all major things- I strive to always have age appropriate material and discussions happening so there's never one defined, "ah HA!" moment. More the gradual, comfortable increase in knowledge.

My 6 year old knows the differences between boys and girls, the mechanics of how a baby is made, how it goes from cells to a baby, and a little about birth. My three year old knows about the differences between boys and girls and how babies are born.

[Joanne]

From birth on.

[smrtmama]

From birth on.

 

This. Age appropriate information from birth onward. Starts with the differences between the sexes, physically, and goes on from there.

[Starr]

I've always had books around that go with different age groups. I think younger is better than too old. They take the information as factual along with whatever else they are learning.

[LaissezFaire]

Generally the 'sex' part we talk about at age 10 or so. As far as body changes and menstruation etc... it's never been taboo, they just sort of know about it because it's not something we hide. If that makes any sense.

[Embassy]

I've read the God's Design for Sex series with my boys through book 2 so they have learned about the mechanics of sex and bodily differences between sexes. I think making it just another thing to learn about takes away the shame or embarrassment that is often associated with "the talk." There was no way I wanted my children learning about sex from anyone but me. My oldest son was 7 and my youngest was 6 when they learned about the mechanics of sex. Prior to that it was just answering questions like how does the Daddy's seed get in the Mommy? I think I received that question at age 4-5. I just told my son that the Daddy puts it in there and that satisfied him at that age.

[Britomart]

We talk about it as it comes up. And it does, what with babies and science books (baby animals!) and all that kind of stuff. We try to give the simplest, but truest answers we can. Simple, so that we don't give them more than they're ready for, but truthful, so they know they can trust us.

 

My example is my parents, who always answered my questions honestly when I was a kid. I remember asking about my mom's pregnancy when I was five, and she gave me a very basic, honest description of how sex worked, and I remember thinking, "Huh. Wonder why anyone would want to do that?" :)

 

And I don't remember talking to them about it again for years. But when I was a teenager, and I had questions, I knew I could ask my mom and get a straight answer. And I think the fact that she gave me straight-up answers on the physical details made me believe her answers on the moral issues. I knew she didn't lie to me about that kind of thing, you know?

[Amber in AUS]

We have discussed topics as they have arisen basically from birth onwards. The latest question (which is yet to be answered because it was an inappropriate venue) was "Exactly how does the sperm get from the man to the woman's egg to make the baby?" So I guess as soon as she asks again we will be having a somewhat frank discussion about that process. Having her keep that information to herself could be challenging, she likes to share her knowledge with the world!

[Peela]

We have never had a big talk because we always answered questions with an age appropriate level of detail when they came up.

I would take the soonest opportunity I could to open up the subject in a matter of fact way and stay open on an ongoing basis.

Sometimes I forget that there is more detail to the whole thing I still havent discussed with my kids and they are teens- they probably know but I would prefer they hear it from me as well. I asked dh recently to cover a few things with ds14- just so he hears it from his dad and not just elsewhere.

But the nuts and bolts, they have known since very small.

[Heather in Neverland]

We opened the floor for discussion and gave ds all the basics at age 9. he never really asked about it before then. Since then we answer all questions openly and honestly and he is free to ask whatever he wants (and he does!).

[jillian]

I have a continuous conversation starting with good/bad touch. Dd is 2 1/2 and knows the proper anatomical names for her parts and knows boys have different parts--dh is shy and when he gets out of the shower he won't let dd in the bathroom when he dries off and I have explained that is because daddies have different parts, they have a p*nis whereas girls have a v*gina and v*lva.

 

When she gets older we will go more in depth but we will have the constant talk, I don't believe in waiting to a certain age to discuss s*x and s*xuality

[HeidiKC]

I am just curious about why you seem reluctant to discuss this with him. It is just a natural biological thing. It will come up eventually. Better for it to be too soon than too late. Because, what exactly would be the harm in it coming early? None that I can see. But there is definitely infinitely more harm in it coming late. if you are uncomfortable because of moral, religious reasons or because of past sexual abuse, you may need to find a surrogate to bring it up with him-someone you trust totally. 10 is definitely pushing it. He should already know the basics of where babies come from and puberty by now.

 

I believe the poster meant she'd prefer not to bring it up IF he isn't ready or interested yet, not that she would prefer never to bring it up.

 

I disagree that 10 is definitely pushing it (for boys). Some 10-year-old boys might be interested, but most have not yet entered puberty and aren't even slightly interested in the opposite sex and aren't experiencing body changes themselves. I don't think they should NOT know about sex or that information should be hidden from them if they ask, but at least from friends I've talked to, most don't seem interested before age 10. I'm just not sure what the reasoning is that they must be given this information by this age and that it's almost too late. Why is 10 different than 7? Most boys at both ages are uninterested in girls and haven't entered puberty. I'm also not saying that 10 is an inappropriate age to introduce these topics (I think it's about right) but I definitely don't think it is "pushing it" and that a boy should have the information before this.

 

Also, most schools seem to do Sex Ed in grades 5 and 6, and this seems like an appropriate age to me.

[Embassy]

In today's society I can't imagine a 10 year old who hasn't already heard something about sex from his peers unless he is very sheltered with a sheltered peer group.

[eternalknot]

My grandma always said that if a kid remembered The Talk (whether it was about $ex, adoption, or whatever) then you had waited too long to bring it up to them. She said kids should never remember one specific discussion for certain topics; that's the credo I parent by.

 

We're Asian Catholics, and do our part to live up to the stereotype LOL. There are always pregnoids, newborns, and people trying to get pregnant in our family. A number of us are doctors and discuss the technical aspects of aging, from adolescence to elderly. Just last week we were talking about the increase of STDs in our local nursing home population (my brother's area of work) which served as an introduction on the topic of STDs to some of the kids who were within earshot. We don't have "adult' topics versus 'child-friendly' topics in our home, everything is just always out in the open. Good and bad :), and it's just the nature of a loud, large family.

 

We're a multi-generational, multi-family home and the walls aren't super thick IYKWIM. Then again, my grandmother conceived three and delivered two babies in the barn stall she shared with her parents, two sisters, husband and kids during the war - it's just par for the course in our family, I guess.

 

My four year old is well-versed in the mechanics of babymaking, including artificial means (she has an aunt doing IVF). She corrects adults who say there is a baby growing in the "tummy" (as opposed to the womb/uterus), and she is quick to announce to the rest of the family that so-and-so isn't pregnant this month when she notices so-and-so has gotten her period.

 

My nine year old has always been the same way. For the past year I've taken to explaining slang words and phrases as they arise (in movies, casual conversations we overhear, music, etc.) I explain to him what the slang is in reference to when it's $exual in nature. We continue to reference our body parts and $exual acts by proper medical terms, but he's increasingly familiar with the different cultural references and names for various parts and acts.

[CactusPair]

We've always been an open family and I've had many small discussions as part of life since the dc were very little.

 

But as for the nitty-gritty mechanics talk, that happened last yr. when ds was 9 and I was expecting #3.

 

He asked specific questions and I was completely honest with him. I could tell he appreciated getting truthful answers. He seemed a little surprised, but handled it well.

 

My dd, aged 8, still doesn't know the mechanics of it all, but she doesn't seem interested.

 

I've asked ds not to discuss it with her bec. she doesn't seem ready and he's upheld that trust. I've explained that I'm the one who needs to talk about it w/ her and she has to be ready to know.

 

I know that I'm going to be the one who talks to our kids about every aspect of sexuality. My dh just can't do it. He's so embarrassed...I don't know how I got 3 kids outta him.;)

[Mejane]

My grandma always said that if a kid remembered The Talk (whether it was about $ex, adoption, or whatever) then you had waited too long to bring it up to them.

 

 

Your grandma was a smart lady. :001_smile:

[HeidiKC]

In today's society I can't imagine a 10 year old who hasn't already heard something about sex from his peers unless he is very sheltered with a sheltered peer group.

 

My son is almost 11 and certainly isn't sheltered (I am not homeschooling him until the fall, so he has been in school). But I don't let him watch PG-13 movies and that kind of thing (if that is considered sheltered). He had heard the word "sex", but had no idea what it was about when my husband explained it to him recently. From what other parents from school told me, about half of them seem to have told their kids this year (a few already knew, the rest are planning on it soon) and pretty much all of them said their kids didn't know anything about it other than that they'd heard the word. Most of them didn't even know it involved a man and a woman, but just thought it was a tee-hee kind of word. So it wasn't exactly a topic of conversation this year in 4th grade.

 

Not that we all know the secrets that kids tell, but I think most of us know our kids well enough to know whether or not they were "faking it" when they acted clueless and/or very surprised when they found out the facts. And I asked my son if kids at school or other friends talked about this and he said no. The first he heard any information about sex from peers was a few weeks ago (after we'd already told him about it).

[JustGin]

No "talk" here. We started a conversation when our first was little and have just continued it as time moves along. As the other two came in and up, they joined the conversation. :)