My library disaster

[duckabell]

We just moved into a new town a couple of weeks ago and I took our kids to the highly popular, large, downtown library. I was drawn to it because they have fun toy bags, story bags and great programs. But, it was a disaster. Let me just preface and say I took my almost-three-year-old and 9 month old.

 

Things went relatively well until we were in line to check out our books. Then my two year old runs away from me laughing and heads for the door, which has a busy street just yards away from it. I put down the baby (she was in a car seat), and ran to get my son who was in between the inside and outside doors. I'm yelling "No" and "Stop!" at the top of my lungs, and I get to him before he runs out the door. By this time I've set off the alarms, (since I had books in a bag with me) and everyone is staring at us. The security guard sternly looks at me for setting off the alarm and asks if I had checked out the books--um, no, I was trying to save my son's life.

 

I then don't know what to do and this kind lady offers to check out my books while I hold my son. I'm crying at this point and very grateful for her help. I lecture my son and tell him he can't have the toy bag we were going to check out.

 

Libraries are usually my happy place, but not today. I am definitely going to check out other, smaller, libraries and if I really feel the need to visit the large branch I'll bring a double stroller. I know I need to work on my son and discipline, it's just that with the setup of this library I didn't have time to call out my usual 1-2-3 warning. My husband suggested playing a go-stop game with him to help him understand stop. What am I going to do when my baby learns to walk in a few months and they go in two different directions? Not to mention that she climbed onto our couch today by stepping on a bag of books.:001_huh:

 

Does anyone else prefer small libraries to large ones?

[PollyOR]

Large, small, it didn't matter. I stopped taking youngest with me for ... years. She ran around and didn't obey. She made library trips un-fun. Thankfully she has grown up.

 

:grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

[EKS]

I didn't take my older son with me to the library from the time he got too big to go in the backpack until he was about 8. My younger son was perfectly fine, but the older one was a nightmare. The size of the library made no difference.

 

I'm sorry you had a hard time.

[EKS]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

:iagree:

[Julie in CA]

I'm sorry you had such a hard time! :grouphug:

I had a lot of little kids at the same time, and the library was definitely challenging. I don't know that it would have been better or worse at a larger/smaller library. I had 5 little kids, no money, and no way to escape even for a moment except through books. I *needed* to make the library work. Definitely strap them into a stroller, and definitely practice ahead of time. Part of the little-kid thing is teaching them to obey, especially in urgent situations. You'll work on it, and you'll get it!

 

The bigger library might have better online services, and I'd take advantage of that if possible. You may not need to actually spend much time in the library if you can reserve books online and then just make a quick trip in to pick them up (I could sometimes ask dh to do so).

 

Either way, remember that this stage does not last forever! :grouphug:

[vonfirmath]

Libraries are usually my happy place, but not today. I am definitely going to check out other, smaller, libraries and if I really feel the need to visit the large branch I'll bring a double stroller. I know I need to work on my son and discipline, it's just that with the setup of this library I didn't have time to call out my usual 1-2-3 warning. My husband suggested playing a go-stop game with him to help him understand stop. What am I going to do when my baby learns to walk in a few months and they go in two different directions? Not to mention that she climbed onto our couch today by stepping on a bag of books.:001_huh:

 

Does anyone else prefer small libraries to large ones?

 

take the stroller. My almost-three year old, I need to take the stroller into the library or he runs around like crazy.

 

SOMETIMES I can get him to stay put by having him sit down while I check out. But its difficult. A stroller I can strap him into is better. I give him time to be free and go to story time/look at books. But when it is time tocheck out, he goes into the stroller. Too many interesting things to explore that pull him away.

[blessedmom3]

Wow , I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with my then 3 yo but after we left the library , he did ran into the street when I was putting the baby in the car seat ( he was playing on the walkway -- I know I should have put him first in the car ) . I then jumped on him and grabbed him right when a car was almost about to hit him. Since then I did not go to the library until the kids were at least four or I left them home with my hubby if I needed to check something.

 

A few years later , I still have nightmares about almost losing my boy .

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

When ds5 was 2 we went to the library one day and he was in a stroller. I was looking at books for myself, reading the back of a couple books, when the Fire Alarm went off! My 2 year old had escaped the stroller without me noticing and pushed the alarm button! I was asked to leave the library and not to come back until I could control him. :blushing:

I have never gone back there, even 3 years later. I cannot bring myself to go again. I actually pay to go to another county's library.

I do not bring dd2. I am ashamed to say that I cannot control her. She runs, she yells, she will lay on the floor in a fit....

[Momofeat]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

I used one too.

[cougarmom4]

Ah, this brings back memories. A few years back, I was hugely pregnant, had a ds4 and dd2...and on a trip to the library neither one of them was behaving at all. I finally dropped my basket of books (oh, you know how long it takes to find them all...I had to leave it and get away!), picked up the screaming-hitting-mommy two year old...pulled the fit-throwing four year old beside me...with my huge pregnant belly & red face...finally made it to the exit of the building...thinking my ordeal was almost over.

 

But guess what I found there? A news crew was filming right outside the front entrance of the library! :lol: (I'm sure they had to film their segment over again, because we were quite the spectacle...either that or someone may have turned it into Funniest Home Videos!)

 

I'm so glad a kind lady helped you out!

I'd probably start taking the double stroller and strapping them both in...or find a way to go by yourself if you can! Hang in there!

[kalanamak]

 

Does anyone else prefer small libraries to large ones?

 

I like big ones, but just a thought: my first memory was being on a leash. I was leaning at a 45 degree angle, running in place, with my arms pumping and my shiny maryjanes slipping in place on the slick floor. I had my eyes on a gumball machine.

 

We put our runner on a harness in such places. Everyone was happier.

[duckabell]

It's good to know that I'm not the only one who has difficulties in the library. I think my last library spoiled me because the doors were across the room from the checkout desk and then there was a long sidewalk to the parking lot. So I had plenty of time to outrun my son then. I will definitely bring the double stroller on my next excursion to that library. My husband is in an intensive program and so if I want to get my library fix the kids are coming with me.

[duckabell]

Wow , I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with my then 3 yo but after we left the library , he did ran into the street when I was putting the baby in the car seat ( he was playing on the walkway -- I know I should have put him first in the car ) . I then jumped on him and grabbed him right when a car was almost about to hit him. Since then I did not go to the library until the kids were at least four or I left them home with my hubby if I needed to check something.

 

A few years later , I still have nightmares about almost losing my boy .

 

Wow, how scary. I'm glad you got to him and that he's alright.

[jewellsmommy]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

 

I love them!!! I kept one in the house and a spare in the car. It gave dd a little bit more freedom than having to constantly hold my hand but yet she could not get away. Dd was a wild child. What am I saying, was, she still is :D. Unfortunately, they don't make these things for 7 yr olds. (Just kidding)

[RoughCollie]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

I had 4 kids on leashes at the same time.

 

Even with that many little kids, you would not believe how many remarks I got from passersby, to the effect that I was treating my kids like dogs.

 

I asked everyone who commented whether s/he was a funeral director trying to drum up business. Those people used to make me sooooo mad.

[joannqn]

I took my first two to the library, any library, with no problems. My current 3 year old? No way. I do my best to only go to the library when I can leave him home.

[Wheres Toto]

I agree on the leashes. My son was (still is to an extent) one of those - no impulse control, runs like a lunatic, hard to keep up with - kids. When he was about 1 1/2 and I was very pregnant with dd (and 38 years old besides) keeping up with him was impossible and keeping him safe was a priority.

 

At this point, I do not bring my younger kids to the library unless I have books on hold and I'm only going to the desk to pick them up and check out. We tried a few storytimes, etc. and my kids were always the ones climbing the furniture and not sitting still or being quiet. Most of the time I go without them since I'm lucky enough to have a teenager to babysit.

[AngieW in Texas]

I like the design at my library. There are two sets of doors separated by a large front lobby before you get to the covered patio area that's between the parking lot and the library.

 

The children's section has a glass wall (with doors) separating it from the rest of the library, so small children that are being loud don't interfere as much with the other patrons.

 

Our library now has self-checkout counters. They put one in the children's section so moms with little kids can check out their books and then just leave without have to try to get their kids to wait in line in the main section of the library. I nearly always use the checkout desk in the children's section because it's the fastest of all the checkout machines.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

DD LOVES, LOVES the library. We have gone once or twice a week since she was a year old. She knows that if she acts up, we leave, so that's enough to keep her in control.

 

With that said... I only have one!! :D In your position, I'd definitely use a leash or stroller. I don't know if a smaller library would necessarily be any better, because there is still a lot to get into. But like another poster said, definitely check into online services. Even though my DD loves the library so much I still try to put all or most of the books I want out of the adult section on hold so we can spend the entire time in the children's section. Makes things so much easier!!

[duckens]

I glad your boy is safe, and I am sorry that you had such a rough day.

 

As for the library, I would check out your library's WEBSITE. In our community, I can reserve online whatever I want from the library's catalog: magazines, books, music. The librarians pull what I want, and it is held near the front desk in big manilla envelopes with my name on it. I pick them up from the shelves of holds myself and use the self-checkout station. If I am unable to pick up my holds, I send Loverboy on his way home from work. Or I simply request to have the holds brought to our Bookmobile stop once a week.

 

Disclaimer: not all libraries will pull/hold things for you that are on the shelf; many communities limit you to what is already checked out.

 

I also like the self-checkout station in the children's room!

 

We also have a "home-delivery" service, but I have not asked how one qualifies for that service. Usually it is intended for the elderly, but you may qualify!!!!

 

Yes, we are spoiled by our librarians!!

[Thea]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

I only objected to these until I had a kid who was a runner. :001_huh:

[nmoira]

 

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

I'd always said I'd never use a leash, but... I was |-| this close with my youngest. She'd not only run, she'd hide. And while many little kids aren't good at hiding because they don't take into account all their body parts, she never stuck out so much as a shoe while hidden. Having to hold my hand or jacket string (when I needed two hands) whenever we were out of the house, hearing, "Please come back and take hold the string now," over and over was bad enough, but never getting to run ahead with big sis or investigate plants, etc. was by far the hardest part for her. Boredom and desperation finally broke her of the habit of running and hiding.

[tex-mex]

I know one mom who has 5 kids under the age of 7 (2 sets of twins & one child in between). She pre-selects the books she wants at home via our library's online system. The library reserves them and sets them aside for her to do a speedy check-out. She usually does this while the kids are in the storytime hour -- quick checkout -- and it only took 5-8 minutes while the kids were in storytime. I also like the idea of the toddler leash system... hey, it works! ;)

[AndyJoy]

I like big ones, but just a thought: my first memory was being on a leash. I was leaning at a 45 degree angle, running in place, with my arms pumping and my shiny maryjanes slipping in place on the slick floor. I had my eyes on a gumball machine.

 

We put our runner on a harness in such places. Everyone was happier.

 

My second oldest childhood memory is of being on a leash at age 2.5 Disneyland and finding it hilarious that "the doggie" (Pluto) was holding my leash! I remember loving the freedom that it gave me because I didn't have to hold anyone's hand or ride in a stroller. I already have a monkey backpack/leash for my little boy when he's older.

[Rhonda in TX]

After several incidents like that, I decided we weren't going anywhere for a couple of years. I'm not saying it was the right solution, but it worked. The tipping point for me was when we were at a splash pool. I lost him and when I found him he had managed to get into the area with the big pool and was trying to jump into the deep end. A woman was holding his arm to keep him out. Not a good day.

[Soror]

We only have 1 library here, so we don't have much choice. However, we have certainly had some adventures as well- I know how fun that can be. To help calm things we do the online reserve as well- daddy can drop books in the outside slot if need be also. Also, that is a reason I do not use the monster carseat carriers, too hard to carry and always in the way. I put the baby in the ergo(which my 3 y.o. still fits in as well) that way I have 2 hands free. I couldn't survive without it!!

[Mandamom]

I didn't take my older son with me to the library from the time he got too big to go in the backpack until he was about 8. My younger son was perfectly fine, but the older one was a nightmare. The size of the library made no difference.

 

I'm sorry you had a hard time.

 

This was my experience, too. I couldn't take my older dd anywhere because I never knew where she would end up. My other two kids were fine.

[Debora R]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

:iagree:My 2.5yo has a Monkey, and we don't leave home without it!

[Vida Winter]

Don't worry. So many of us have had library disasters -- it's right up there with grocery store disasters, sitting quietly in church disasters, restaurant disasters, and shopping mall disasters.

 

It was funny - we stopped in Utah the other day on our way home from Arizona and took a quick tour around a town we used to live in. I got to tell my 15yo dd the story about how she had the honor of being the subject of the first "accident report" at the newly opened library (about 12 years ago).:D

[MariannNOVA]

I've only read a few of the responses -- don't be so hard on yourself -- I had twins and a dd who was only 19 months older. There were a few outings that now in retrospect I see I did not have a clue!

 

Yes, to the 'tether' idea......yes to the stroller idea.......and, of course, yes to what I did for a very long time and still do now: I stay at home, and don't take all three with me (and they are 11 and 9.5 now - ds 9.5 is a handful).

 

:grouphug:

[MamaT]

I have many "disaster stories" from when my 3 were babies. When I adopted my 2nd dd, I had a newborn, a 9mo old, a 28mo old, a 6yo, an 11yo, and a 13yo. I tried for a while, but ending up staying at home for the most part until they were a little older. BTW, no one should have babies, a toddler, and young teenagers going through puberty at the same time. :001_smile:

 

I ended up hiring a mother's helper and yes, I used tethers.

[Cindyz]

After choosing books, I get my son set on one of the children's computers while I check out the books. I can see him from the check out so it works out great. I started doing this early because of the same sorts of issues. He was a runner and I would be standing in line with a huge stack of books and he would take off running. Ugh!

[DarlaS]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I never used one, but for some kids they are clearly a very good idea. To heck with what everyone else thinks--keep them alive until they are old enough to fear for their own life!

[DarlaS]

Wow , I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with my then 3 yo but after we left the library , he did ran into the street when I was putting the baby in the car seat ( he was playing on the walkway -- I know I should have put him first in the car ) . I then jumped on him and grabbed him right when a car was almost about to hit him. Since then I did not go to the library until the kids were at least four or I left them home with my hubby if I needed to check something.

 

A few years later , I still have nightmares about almost losing my boy .

 

:svengo:

 

This happened to me with my now 13 yo. Just substitute post office for library.

 

We lost this same child the day before his 4th b-day at Disney World (A security cast member quickly found him.) It continually amazes me that I have somehow kept him alive...

[Mothersweets]

Ah, this brings back memories. A few years back, I was hugely pregnant, had a ds4 and dd2...and on a trip to the library neither one of them was behaving at all. I finally dropped my basket of books (oh, you know how long it takes to find them all...I had to leave it and get away!), picked up the screaming-hitting-mommy two year old...pulled the fit-throwing four year old beside me...with my huge pregnant belly & red face...finally made it to the exit of the building...thinking my ordeal was almost over.

 

But guess what I found there? A news crew was filming right outside the front entrance of the library! :lol: (I'm sure they had to film their segment over again, because we were quite the spectacle...either that or someone may have turned it into Funniest Home Videos!)

 

I'm so glad a kind lady helped you out!

I'd probably start taking the double stroller and strapping them both in...or find a way to go by yourself if you can! Hang in there!

 

Oh my goodness - a double whammy!! At least you can laugh about it now. :)

[MeganW]

You CAN do this! Get a Tommiguard harness. Ignore the idiots who think your child is on a leash. He's safe - that's ALL that matters! Explain to your son that when he can stay right beside you ALL THE TIME he won't need to wear it anymore.

 

Tommiguards fold up and fit in your purse, unlike the cute animal back packs ones. They have a clip on one end, so you can clip them to your belt, the shopping cart, stroller, etc. and be hands-free. So you can teach him to hold your hand / grocery cart / stroller by using the Tommiguard. I taught 3 kids at once this way. When I KNEW they wouldn't let go, we didn't use them anymore, but I always had them in my purse. If one broke the rule, even just for a second, they were back in the harness and clipped back on.

 

I choked the harness length way up, so they were ALWAYS within touching distance of the cart / me. The idea was to use it to teach them to hold on, if they got three feet away, they couldn't do that.

 

I never had to use it on the baby. She had watched the big kids learning and figured out the rules. "I hold cart - no wear harness Mommy - I NOT leggo K Mommy? - I walk like big girl!"

 

I STILL take all 4 kids to the grocery store and they all go to their assigned corner of the shopping cart and don't let go until told to. It hasn't occured to them yet that they are now old enough to just walk beside it, but whatever! :)

Edited June 6, 2010 by MeganW

[MeganW]

I had 4 kids on leashes at the same time.

 

Even with that many little kids, you would not believe how many remarks I got from passersby, to the effect that I was treating my kids like dogs.

 

 

 

I got those comments too. I always took the time to educate them. Carseats are restraining devices, used to keep children safe. Strollers are restraining devices, used to keep children safe. Do they object to carseats & strollers too? Harnesses are the same thing, but they allow the child to get a little exercise.

[Impish]

I know that some people object to these but I found that a vest/leash for a toddler was a life-saver for my both my kids at that age.

Tazzie had the horse backpack that the tail was used as a leash. Not only did he LOVE wearing his backpack, but knowing he was safe, not taking off for who knows where...meant my sanity was safe too.

[RoughCollie]

I got those comments too. I always took the time to educate them.

 

I looked at educating them as tossing pearls to swine. I mean, how absolutely stupid does one have to be to see a woman with 4 toddlers in a busy grocery store parking lot, and think the kids should be running free?

Edited June 6, 2010 by RoughCollie

[MariannNOVA]

I looked at educating them as tossing pearls to swine. I mean, how absolutely stupid does one have to be to see a woman with 4 toddlers in a busy grocery store parking lot, and think the kids should be running free?

 

:iagree::iagree:I recall trying to get from my car to the keycarded door of the poolhouse where we lived with 18 mo old twins and a 3 yr old........no.one.helped. lots of folks watched.........not a single person helped......and these people were 'neighbors' so to speak as it was a gated community. When I finally was able to get into the building, and I brought dd3 to her tumbling class, the twins were - gasp - running around the room as I got dd3 settled, the instructor (who was probably all of 18 yrs old) 'told' me to please control my children :glare:.

[TravelingChris]

My oldest and my youngest were fine. My middle was not. She got the leash or the stroller but usually the leash since she was also an escape artist. You would use a leash too if you were visiting canyon areas with shear cliffs and had a runner.

[Saille]

I'm definitely a small library aficionado. More personal, the librarians know our kids by name, etc.. Not to mention that small branch librarians are, in my experience, much more aware of developmentally appropriate behavior in children and more likely to engage them in general. One or two librarians are responsible for responding to *all* patrons, you know? Larger libraries have plenty of librarians who do not like children and would prefer not to deal with them, and at our last big library, the only children's librarian was in intake, so even in the children's section, which had a whole floor to itself, there was not one person who was familiar with children's books or knew how to talk to a child. That's a whole 'nother rant, but boy, am I ever glad for internet library searches. I would be tearing my hair out otherwise. This way, when I just do pick-ups, I can literally just run in or send a big kid in, and no one else needs to get unstrapped. We only go in as a family if we're browsing or hanging out.

[Mommyfaithe]

I didn't take my older son with me to the library from the time he got too big to go in the backpack until he was about 8. My younger son was perfectly fine, but the older one was a nightmare. The size of the library made no difference.

 

I'm sorry you had a hard time.

 

:iagree:

[eight_gregorys]

My kiddos are finally at an age where they behave in the library, but for several years outings were very challenging. I only have one little one now, but when we are at the library she likes to try and take off as well. So when we are checking out, I let her help me scan the books at the self-checkout. She loves doing this and knows if she stays with Mommy in the library that she gets to help scan the books when we leave. I don't know if this is option for you, but I figured I'd through it out there.

 

As far as the leashes go....I say go for it. I had four in leashes at one time and someone will always have something snotty to say, but I value my childrens' safety over a strangers rude, unsolicited comments.

[nd293]

Libraries are nightmares with my ds3. He enjoys going, but is noisy, and unless I keep my attention on him 100% of the time things unravel. If I want to actually look for books, we go to the library as a family in the evening or on a Sunday afternoon, when dh is there. Mostly I use the Internet to reseve books and just pop in to collect them.

[EthiopianFood]

Another leash/pack vote.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Oh, this would have stressed me out too. One day, my oldest lost track of where I was and told the front desk he was lost. They paged me (full name, too, since he'd helpfully given the whole name including middle name :lol: Guess he was a little scared.)

 

We had a neighbor with six kids (including a set of quads). He used "Freeze" instead of "Stop" because stop could mean so many things. He taught his kids that when he said "Freeze" they were to do just that, freeze whereever they were with their arms crossed. Freezing also prevents a kid from running back toward you if the danger is between you and them (say if they are on the other side of a street).

 

You might want to think about the 123 count also. I find that it encouraged my kids to delay obeying until I got to 3 (or later) because they felt that the earlier commands were optional.

 

Anyway, :grouphug: and I hope that you don't give up on libraries altogether.

[Amber in AUS]

:grouphug: How terrible for you!

[Melissa in NC]

When my kids were that age, I read an article about kids running away and not responding to stop. The author suggested instead of stop, teach the kids that "Red Light" mean freeze like a statue. It makes the command unique and the my kids responded well. I still use it on them and they are 10 and 12.

 

Red light means to them to stop immediately that there is danger around.