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Why do parents allow this????


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I think you need to get out and meet some people who are different than you. I know quite a few wiccans, and all of them dress very conservatively. One pagan homeschooling family I know is always assumed by Christians to be Christian, because the girls don't cut their hair and they make a lot of their own clothing. Their mother might even own a denim jumper. ;)

 

You know nothing about whom I know. :)

 

Read the actual text. I said "imagination conceives".

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You might be thinking of "goth" - not "Wiccan". ;)

 

Geesh, I hope so! My little witch actually prefers a t-shirt and jeans, a floaty skirt --often at the same time-- and likes to embellish with sparkly scarves and bandanas. (All this while swinging from the rafters in the barn or digging through the dirt and grass looking for a new bug to add to her expanding terrarium.) Anyway, my point is she looks like a little girl.

 

This video and its kin, kiddie "beauty" pageants, are anathema to me.

 

Kelli

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Yes, all of us protect our daughters from this kind of behavior just like we are parents who are very concerned with the education our children receive. But all around us the society crumbles. 40% of children are now being born to single mothers and the statistics bear out that poverty among that group is rampant. Unfortuantely, just a very bleak societal picture., even though there are bright spots around too.

 

I'm sure (hoping) that you didn't mean this, but the way your post is worded sounds like you think single parents *aren't* concerned about the education of their children, and that single mothers are the cause of things like this...

My daughter is in dance now, and I'm sure most of those girls were NOT coming from low income, single parent homes. Dance is expensive, and requires a time commitment that single, working parents often don't have. Did I mention its expensive??

 

I'm a single mother. I care very much about my daughter's education, in fact that is why I'm homeschooling her, and I've met plenty of married couples who don't care about their children's education and who aren't teaching their children modesty or respect for themselves.

 

For what it's worth, no way would my daughter participate in this. Her recital costume this year is a leotard and grass skirt, and that was pushing it a little for me. She really *really* wants to do cheerleading, and there is a competitive squad in the area she would probably make if I let her try-out, but I'm hesitant to do so because I know chances are we'll face skimpy costumes and ridiculous dance "routines".

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For me, the worst was the looks on the little girls' faces.

 

Those are not normal little girl faces, not at all.

 

Those are the expressions of grown women who are trying to sell themselves.

 

This is exactly what I noticed. Little girls don't normally make those facial expressions. They've been practicing. Just makes me ill.

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I keep thinking about this and wondering --- okay, the two parents that were interviewed are totally oblivious to why this is inappropriate. Fine. But what about grandparents?? I don't have a girl, but keep thinking my sister's husband would totally flip out if he saw a video of any of his three granddaughters dancing around like that! And what about child protective services? At what point is something so totally inappropriate that they step in? I would imagine if an individual father dressed his daughter up like that and filmed her dancing around, he would be in jail faster than you can say "Abuser." So why is it "okay" at a dance competition?

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There's an interview with one set of parents defending the dance on Good Morning America's homepage: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/ (The actual interview part starts about halfway through.) Their reasoning sounds very much like the reasoning of people who have their little girls in "beauty" pageants.

 

 

Their responses made me so sad -- it's as if parents think they have no alternative -- that because pop culture is what it is, they can't shield their children from it. It's as if they think they don't have a choice.:crying:

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How sad for those little girls. I'm sure they have no idea how they come across dressed like that and moving around like that, but others do. They'll "get it" when they're a little older, and they'll probably grow up thinking that's fine for girls to advertise themselves like that, maybe believing that's what they have to do for approval. How horrible that their parents approve of it. Those little girls have never known the innocence of childhood. What kind of frame of reference will they have? Very sad.

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Anything for fame. Really sad!

 

Bingo. Ends justify the means, even if it's dressing up your 7 yo in a burlesque outfit.

 

It reminds me of the movie Little Miss Sunshine that people raved about. Parts were funny but the dance routine created by the foul-mouthed Grandpa was just sad and inappropriate for a little girl. I get that they were making fun of the whole little-girl pageant industry making girls into tiny barbies but ....

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For me, the worst was the looks on the little girls' faces.

 

Those are not normal little girl faces, not at all.

 

Those are the expressions of grown women who are trying to sell themselves.

 

I had not noticed that before and you are absolutely correct. It is chilling to watch.

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Their responses made me so sad -- it's as if parents think they have no alternative -- that because pop culture is what it is, they can't shield their children from it. It's as if they think they don't have a choice.:crying:

 

:iagree: I think it is sad that our society values women and girls looking like sex goddesses with stiletto heels and skimpy outfits:( I have no problem with wanting to look good or even bare shoulders or knees;), but our society definitely takes it too far:glare:

 

My taste is more of the classic looks of the 1960s and 1950s like Katherine Hepburn or the actress from My Fair Lady whose name escapes me. Is it Audrey Hepburn?

Edited by priscilla
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It reminds me of the movie Little Miss Sunshine that people raved about. Parts were funny but the dance routine created by the foul-mouthed Grandpa was just sad and inappropriate for a little girl. I get that they were making fun of the whole little-girl pageant industry making girls into tiny barbies but ....

 

But the whole point of the dance routine was that is was wildly inappropriate.

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Everything about that routine was wrong... the moves, the outfits, the girls' faces, and the obnoxious cheering by the parents/adults in the audience. I have nothing to add except for more sheer disgust.

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:iagree:I'll be the lone voice of dissent here & say that I don't have a problem with the dance moves, by and large. I would have had a ball doing that as a little girl. I don't think it has to be sexual at all - moving your body that way isn't in & of itself bad. Combined with the costumes & the lyrics it becomes inappropriate IMO. I also worry about the pedophiles watching.

 

:iagree: Those girls were clearly talented, and had some great moves, but THOSE COSTUMES! THAT SONG! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!

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Everything about that routine was wrong... the moves, the outfits, the girls' faces, and the obnoxious cheering by the parents/adults in the audience. I have nothing to add except for more sheer disgust.

 

:iagree: It left us speechless. My dd was completely appalled. I am so grateful her dance studio has never and would never do anything like this. Even the jazz students at that age (and older) would never wear something like that. Or do moves like that. Ugh. The owner always chooses appropriate and beautiful costumes. And while they are modern, the music has never been inappropriate to us. I don't understand parents like that at all.

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But the whole point of the dance routine was that is was wildly inappropriate.

 

I know.

 

But wasn't it also trying to say that the little girl's inappropriateness was less inappropriate and more acceptable in a defiant kind of way than the little pageant barbie-doll-wannabes?

 

Either way, the mini-adult look of that video reminded me of the movie.

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Just...wow. The 7 year-old dance team at DD's dance school is doing "Green Eggs and Ham" -- they're dressed like the Cat from Cat In The Hat, and I think there are a couple of Whos and a bunch of Things (Thing 1 -Thing 5, I think!). The costumes and music are both age-appropriate. This would never, ever fly at our studio. Of course most of the instructors are moms and wouldn't want their children to wear such skimpy costumes.

 

I expect some dance costumes to be short or form-fitting to show off the lines. I expect some of the routines to have more modern music. I don't know how any of the parents could have been okay with this. The costumes are bad. The movement are bad. Put them both together & it's just wrong.

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I know.

 

But wasn't it also trying to say that the little girl's inappropriateness was less inappropriate and more acceptable in a defiant kind of way than the little pageant barbie-doll-wannabes?

 

Either way, the mini-adult look of that video reminded me of the movie.

 

I didn't see it that way. I saw a family supporting their daughter even though the daughter had gotten into a horribly embarrassing situation through no fault of her own. The family was already horrified for the girl just by showing up and putting her in a situation where they thought she was going to feel embarassed and/or bad about herself. Her father wanted to just take her home before she participated. Then when the girl started doing her wildly inappropriate dance (that the child did not know was wildly inappropriate), they supported her in the only way they could figure out on the spur of the moment.

 

Of course, I am one of the people who loved this movie- so take my opinion with a grain of salt. ;)

 

 

 

 

(I do agree with your last statement, though- the mini-adult look of the girls in the video did look like the pagent girls in the movie.)

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I know.

 

But wasn't it also trying to say that the little girl's inappropriateness was less inappropriate and more acceptable in a defiant kind of way than the little pageant barbie-doll-wannabes?

 

Either way, the mini-adult look of that video reminded me of the movie.

 

I LOVE this movie. I watch it every chance I get. I don't think the dance scene is exploring whether or not Olive's dancing is appropriate, or is commentary on beauty pageants. I think the major themes his about winning/losing. Olive loses the beauty pageant, but the whole family ultimately wins, when together they find unity in the absurdity of the situation.

 

 

and now back booing and hissing at this sad atrocity

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The whole thing is sad and disgusting. I have a 7 year old and there's just NO freakin' way I would have her doing anything like that. The moves combined with the costumes and topped off by the music = totally inappropriate for the age group.

 

My girls do take gymnastics - in a one-piece leotard with shorts, and there is not the slightest hint of anything sexualized in any of their movements.

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That the dance routine took place at a competition shows a lack of judgement on the part of the parents and coaches.

 

Putting it on YouTube shows an even greater disregard for good judgement. Then hauling it cable, where even more attention is drawn to the video, really is unconscionable.

 

These are real children. And they are being shamelessly exploited in the name of ratings. All the posturing is hypocritical. CNN is exposing the children more than any competition ever did. All the huffing and puffing of Dr Phil makes me sick.

 

And I, personally, am displeased to see it going even more viral on this forum.

 

We have developed into a culture of "outrage" that the media exploits. Our blood gets boiling, but we're all here watching it (me too unfortunately). Better, I think, to pull the plug, mind our own business, and let these little girls be.

 

Bill

Edited by Spy Car
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Honestly, it doesn't look that different than what is being done at hundreds of dance recitals across America on Saturdays this month. We went to see a recital recently. The costumes, the song choices, the bump and grind... it's crazy. It's a long way from when we dressed up like Raggedy Ann and Andy when in recitals as a girl.

 

Like someone else said, the lure of having their dd in the 'premiere group' or whatever is too much for some parents. They will let pretty much anything go for that honor.

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My almost 7 yr old is starting yr 4 at a classical ballet school and her performance was this past week. There is a competitive dance school attached and they performance as well. Dh looked at me and said "Olivia will not be doing that ever." I'm not into that type of dancing so no she won't. but let me say the girls from our school wore nuns habits compared to those girls and their moves were age appropriate.

 

I will say those girls are talented. They had elements of ballet that are difficult to do at their age. The costumes were wretched.

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I LOVE this movie. I watch it every chance I get. I don't think the dance scene is exploring whether or not Olive's dancing is appropriate, or is commentary on beauty pageants. I think the major themes his about winning/losing. Olive loses the beauty pageant, but the whole family ultimately wins, when together they find unity in the absurdity of the situation.

 

 

and now back booing and hissing at this sad atrocity

 

:lol:

 

 

Apparently the parents have defended the costumes by pointing out that bikinis the girls wear to the beach are skimpier than what they wore here. They also didn't feel the dance moves were that bad.

 

(Didn't see the parents being interviewed directly.)

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Apparently the parents have defended the costumes by pointing out that bikinis the girls wear to the beach are skimpier than what they wore here.
I'm not a prude... far from it. I have nothing against naked or partially kids running around, short girly dresses, etc. However, there's a 7/8-ish year old girl who has lessons with DD the Elder who wears a bikini for lessons. Her suit is not only extremely revealing, but it's also cut in a way that accentuates the hips, hints of pubis, and gives the illusion of breasts, and the pants ride beneath her hip bones. Aesthetics aside, some of the girls wear Land End tankinis, which are fine for lessons because they stay on, but this little girl is forever having to make adjustments to her suit. I can't help but wonder why she's permitted to wear this suit.
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I'...I have nothing against naked or partially kids running around, short girly dresses, etc.

 

...not only extremely revealing, but it's also cut in a way that accentuates the hips, hints of pubis, and gives the illusion of breasts, and the pants ride beneath her hip bones....

 

I totally agree that it's about so much more than "how much skin" is revealed. I don't think any of us has to look very far to see that "sexy" can be portrayed in a fairly explicit manner with not a lot of skin exposed -- or that more skin (or even complete nudity) can be shown without "sexy" coming into it at all.

 

What these girls were wearing wasn't just a matter of what was covered. Yes, their little bottoms and chests were covered as well as many little girls at the local pool. (Less than I'd allow on my own 8yo, but not so little that I would gasp in shock and horror, most likely.) We could even say, "oh, look, quite a lot of their legs are covered". 'Cause they are. But in a way that says, "sexy, knee-high boots". The color and cut of everything they're wearing is meant to scream "sexy", even on their tiny, curve-less bodies. The *impression* it gives is entirely separate from which parts are or are not covered.

 

As to the dance moves... Well, *much* of what the girls do, in different costumes, wouldn't raise my eyebrows at all. Their pirouettes and stretches, the big smiles, all great stuff...

 

But a few elements take "little girls dancing" to "little girls pole dancing". And it changes the whole dynamic.

 

I just find it so hard to believe that with all of the music, all the choreography, all the costumes that are available, and the clear talent and energy of those girls, that nothing more appropriate could be done.

 

...

 

I'm also concerned not so much about pedophiles watching now (not that that isn't an issue, but I think it's relatively small in comparison) as I am about what happens to little girls who are taught that this (form of dress, type of movement) is an appropriate way to gain attention at age 7 or 8. What happens to them at 12 or 13? When they're suddenly beginning to develop the bodies to match the movements and costumes, but they still have the minds and understanding of children? Doesn't that set them up to be put into circumstances they can't possibly grasp and process? Years before they're ready? Doesn't it set them up to be asked to make decisions they can't possibly truly understand?!?

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I had not noticed that before and you are absolutely correct. It is chilling to watch.

 

that is what I noticed, the front girl had a closer up shot and she just had the most not so much a seductive look but a very adult facial expression like "I'm all it come get me" but it could of just been the make up that was giving her a more adult expression.

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:001_huh:

 

My 13 yo will be on a performance group with her studio starting this August. She's been at her current studio this past year. The previous recitals at her old studio were nothing like this video shown here. Also, the Christmas show at her current studio had nothing even remotely lewd in it, either. I showed my 13 yo this dance routine and told her the girls were 7. She was appalled by the routine and their ages. Her comment was, "They probably don't even know cursive yet."

 

I don't think this behavior is restricted to dancers but it is obviously more apparent and extreme when watching something like this. When my kids were in school, I saw this provocative behavior beginning with girls in about 2nd/3d grade. There is focus on girls acting/looking much older than they are. I also see it on our neighborhood swim team. Girls rolling their shorts way down to their pubic bone. They still have a suit on under but it looks way more provocative with the shorts like that than if they were just wearing their one piece suit. My kids went to my niece's birthday part a few years ago when she was in second grade. Those school girls were grinding to music then and I doubt more than a few of them were even in dance training. When I was a cheerleader in school many years ago, our routines were nothing like routines now. My dd 13 did cheerleading camp in K, and they did a routine to Brittany Spears, Oops I did it again. They were 5. :001_huh: I was appalled and that was the end of cheerleading for her.

 

What puzzles me is the outrage many in our society has over a baby at the breast. :confused: Or a nude painting. I can't imagine ever worrying about exposing my children to artwork that has nudity or worrying about them seeing a baby at the breast. I don't think the human body should be viewed as tantalizing in every circumstance. My European relatives go topless to the beach and some are nearly 80 years old. It's a no big deal sort of thing that is very ordinary and not sexual at all. Here, nudity that should be viewed as normal is viewed as bad but, OTOH, many say nothing about our young girls engaging in bizarrely provocative behavior and act as if it's fine. I just don't get it.

 

This is one reason I homeschool--to keep my girls from being exposed to this over-sexualization of girls on a daily basis. They do still get exposed to it, but it's easier to control and they don't view it as a normal thing.

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:001_huh:

 

My European relatives go topless to the beach and ...it's a no big deal sort of thing that is very ordinary and not sexual at all.

 

While I fully agree that the video is disgusting, one might even reasonably argue that it is depraved, I do disagree on your line about topless beaches in Europe. It is self delusional to argue that a 20 something attractive female, topless on the beach is not "sexual." I live in Europe and know lots of European men, they certainly view it in a sexual manner. Women may tell you it is not but the men will simply smile indulgently. The fact that said female is frequently wearing micro bottoms only strengthens my argument.

 

You are correct that many view it as no big deal but make no mistake in the way in which many see the behavior.

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I had to turn if off about five seconds after I turned it on. It was disgusting.

 

 

My daughter is extremely talented at cheer but we had to stop. At age six, we had arguments upon arguments with cheer facilty about choice of music and the shorts with words on butt and an occasional move. Fortunately, the instructer would oblige me though most of the other parents thought I was a PITA. The uniforms were at least conservative. Then when my daughter outgrew that place, we decided to quit. All the studios had very skimpy outfits (5 yos wearing sports bras and short shorts with waist band turned down and words on butt for practice!!), overly suggestive moves and inappropriate music choices.

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I thought the father in the GMA interview was a joke. He said that he saw nothing wrong with his daughter's dance routine, was proud of her, thought the costume was fine.... all the while talking about how they'd never intended for the video to be put on line - much less go viral! - and they were working to get it taken off youtube. So, if there was nothing wrong with the dance routine, you're super proud, yada, yada... why the rush to get it taken down? Hmmm... maybe because you've known all along that the dance routine crossed a line and you're embarrassed for having gotten caught being a lousy dad?

 

And I was ready to smack the mother who kept saying that the video was taken out of context. So... let me get this straight. It's okay for your daughter to dance like a stripper when there's prize money involved, but it's wrong for her to dance like that "just because." Way to prostitute your daughter, mom.

 

I feel so sorry for those girls. I only hope that something good can come out of all this. Maybe the parents will be so humiliated by this negative attention that they'll think twice before allowing the idiot dance instructor to skank up their daughters for the sake of a competition.

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While I fully agree that the video is disgusting, one might even reasonably argue that it is depraved, I do disagree on your line about topless beaches in Europe. It is self delusional to argue that a 20 something attractive female, topless on the beach is not "sexual." I live in Europe and know lots of European men, they certainly view it in a sexual manner. Women may tell you it is not but the men will simply smile indulgently. The fact that said female is frequently wearing micro bottoms only strengthens my argument.

 

You are correct that many view it as no big deal but make no mistake in the way in which many see the behavior.

 

Not all cultures view breasts as sex objects even on a young twenty-something female. That was the point I was trying to make. Obviously, in adults, there is often an element of sexual attraction going on, whether women are clothed head to foot or not. Male/female attraction is often at play in world. I don't think those men on the beach would be less interested in those women if they had their breasts covered. I'm just saying that in the U.S., we often view breasts as sex objects and have such issues with things like nursing moms in public and yet many are okay with young kids being sexualized. Perhaps I didn't word it well in my previous post.

 

ETA: Are you European or an American transplant there? Just curious...

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:lol:

 

 

Apparently the parents have defended the costumes by pointing out that bikinis the girls wear to the beach are skimpier than what they wore here. They also didn't feel the dance moves were that bad.

 

(Didn't see the parents being interviewed directly.)

 

I did watch the interview. The parents said that swimsuits are appropriate at the pool, and the girls' costumes were appropriate for a dance competition. I think that dance competitions that think their costumes and choreography is appropriate need to re-think their standards.

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Well, *much* of what the girls do, in different costumes, wouldn't raise my eyebrows at all. Their pirouettes and stretches, the big smiles, all great stuff...

 

But a few elements take "little girls dancing" to "little girls pole dancing". And it changes the whole dynamic.

 

I agree. The pole dancing parts were really over the top, though.

 

I just find it so hard to believe that with all of the music, all the choreography, all the costumes that are available, and the clear talent and energy of those girls, that nothing more appropriate could be done.

 

I can just imagine the beautiful dances that group of girls could do with a good choreographer.

 

I'm also concerned... about what happens to little girls who are taught that this (form of dress, type of movement) is an appropriate way to gain attention at age 7 or 8. What happens to them at 12 or 13? When they're suddenly beginning to develop the bodies to match the movements and costumes, but they still have the minds and understanding of children? Doesn't that set them up to be put into circumstances they can't possibly grasp and process? Years before they're ready? Doesn't it set them up to be asked to make decisions they can't possibly truly understand?!?

 

And it's not pretty, the girls who attend the "pole dancing" studio in my town dance like this at their middle school dances also. Blech.

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I thought the father in the GMA interview was a joke... So, if there was nothing wrong with the dance routine, you're super proud, yada, yada... why the rush to get it taken down? Hmmm... maybe because you've known all along that the dance routine crossed a line and you're embarrassed for having gotten caught being a lousy dad?

 

And I was ready to smack the mother who kept saying that the video was taken out of context. So... let me get this straight. It's okay for your daughter to dance like a stripper when there's prize money involved, but it's wrong for her to dance like that "just because." Way to prostitute your daughter, mom.

 

Brilliant observations.

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I am a LEGAL immigrant to the US.

 

I just wondered if you were European and had grown up there if you had noticed the same changes there that seem to have occurred here with the sexualizing of younger and younger girls or whether that is a more pronounced thing in the States.

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I just wondered if you were European and had grown up there if you had noticed the same changes there that seem to have occurred here with the sexualizing of younger and younger girls or whether that is a more pronounced thing in the States.

 

I have spent time in many places, not just Europe, but yes the changes are immense and I would argue extremely detrimental. I do not want to insult anyone on this board so I will not mention particular nations, but there are certain nations where shall we say the females have a "reputation" and I know that males (from say the US or other nations that are viewed by Europeans a being more prudish)..... well they travel there for a specific reason and upon their return their friends are encouraged to go for the same reason. (I can make no comment on the impact that the "sexualizing of younger and younger girls" has made, and really prefer not to think about it)

 

 

It is a true sorrow that society seems unwilling to just let little girls be little girls and instead there is a constant pressure to make them grow up faster. Yet another reason I HS, so I can at least mitigate some of the negative influences that are found in PS.

 

Now I have to worry about dance schools. I am stunned by the behavior of the two parents on the news report....words simply do not come.

 

Some stats: (from the net and I can not vouch for accuracy or explain the reasons behind them but on first blush Japan is looking pretty good)

 

Iceland 66% births out of wedlock

Sweden 55%

France 50%

UK 44%

US 40%

Japan 2%

 

The stats do not mention ages but some of the pregnant girls I see in Europe look very very young, much too young.

Edited by pqr
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  • 2 weeks later...
Precisely. Normal is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. The mom said that unless you isolate yourself and your children from pop culture this is the stuff your daughters will be singing along with. Exactly why I isolate myself and children from pop culture. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thank you. My children don't listen to current pop music. Most of the time, it's on the local contemporary Christian station. Occasionally, when I am begged into it, the Disney station.

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