How smell-free should we be?

[Laura Corin]

I wrote a while back about my very smelly house cleaner. Today there is a thread about sweaty children. I wonder whether we are going too far in expecting no smells from each other. I expect the people around me to have showered in the previous 24 hours, but fresh sweat is normal to me.

 

What do you think? For fun, make a note if you have different standards for men, women and children.

 

Laura

Edited April 8, 2010 by Laura Corin

[Rebecca VA]

Laura, I must have missed the follow-up about the housecleaner. What ever happened with her?

[Pamela H in Texas]

I don't want people to smell offensive around me but honestly, other than my family, I've never had it happen.

 

I certainly don't expect people showering within 24 hours. I would guess most people don't nor should.

[Laura Corin]

Laura, I must have missed the follow-up about the housecleaner. What ever happened with her?

 

When it became clear that the boys would be going to school in August I pretty much resigned myself to sticking with her until June, when I'll take over myself. My arm is doing well and my physio wants me to work up to full activity. I did contact a couple of cleaning firms: one said it would call me back but didn't; the other made an appointment to come round and didn't turn up. I give up.

 

Laura

[Mrs Mungo]

I wrote a while back about my very smelly house cleaner. Today there is a thread about sweaty children. I wonder whether we are going too far in expecting no smells from each other. I expect the people around me to have showered in the previous 24 hours, but fresh sweat is normal.

 

What do you think? For fun, make a note if you have different standards for men, women and children.

 

Laura

 

I think fresh, sweaty, I've been outside smell is fine.

 

However, my hubby was remarking to me yesterday that he was at the gym and a guy came in who was so stinky that everyone was looking at him and moving away from him. When a GYM full of sweaty ARMY guys thinks you are too stinky, then you are too stinky.

[Laura Corin]

 

However, my hubby was remarking to me yesterday that he was at the gym and a guy came in who was so stinky that everyone was looking at him and moving away from him. When a GYM full of sweaty ARMY guys thinks you are too stinky, then you are too stinky.

 

Twenty scouts had been in there for two hours. I'd guess that these were clean children but they were teenagers and it was ripe. Nothing to be done about it, apart from opening a window.

 

Laura

[Tree House Academy]

It depends on how long I have to spend with someone. LOL If my dh, the kids, or I stink, we bathe. I mean, sure, you have been working in the yard all day and you come in the house, fine. But then, don't go out to dinner before you shower. KWIM? Smell-less is ideal.

[hornblower]

Preadolescent children are allowed to be sweaty - I think babies & toddlers when they wake up from a nap a bit sweaty (esp if snoozing in your arms) are adorable.

No diaper smells allowed though.

 

Once puberty hits, I don't mind smelling fresh sweat among family but you'd better be en route to change clothes & either sponge bath or shower soon. I wouldn't be ok with being sweaty (like from an exercise class or long bike ride etc) in front of friends or acquaintances...

 

Showers or baths q 24h or more, PRN.

 

We know a family who is pretty neat in so many ways but they don't appear to believe in anti-perspirant or deodorant (not sure about their thoughts regarding soap) AND they wear a lot of wool. They all smell like a 60yo farmer who plows his field all summer in an aran sweater and bathes once a decade. Ewwwww. We have not pursued a friendship in no small part because of this.

 

OTOH, I find as I age that I also don't like a lot of perfume smells so people who smell strongly OF anything bug me. Dh bought new anti-persp recently & it's driving me crazy. I had to open a window when in the car with him recently.

[AlmiraGulch]

I readily admit I have what may be an unnatural aversion to smelliness. Well, to body odor, actually. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I once had to get rid of a dog that I loved because I couldn't take his odor, even when freshly bathed, the first time he would go outside to do his business.

 

When my 7 year old goes outside to play and comes in with that "I'm-a-little-kid-and-I-just-played-outside" smell, I can hardly stand to be around her (of course I don't let on to her) and I direct her to the shower almost immediately. My 13 year old seems oblivious to her own very natural but also very repulsive grown up odors, and I'm constantly on her to bathe (not several times a day or anything, but I don't think once a day is unreasonable).

 

My ex husband has the opposite problem. WAY too much cologne. "Nice new scent. Must you marinate in it?" Ewww...

[melissel]

It depends on how long I have to spend with someone. LOL If my dh, the kids, or I stink, we bathe. I mean, sure, you have been working in the yard all day and you come in the house, fine. But then, don't go out to dinner before you shower. KWIM? Smell-less is ideal.

 

This pretty much sums it up for me. Then again, I'm not an outdoorsy person. If I were, my expectations might be different!

[Desert Rat]

I don't necessarily mind smelly. I hung out with hippies for a long time and we all had that patchouli hippie stink going on. Right now I have more issues with non-people smells like the bunny cage that reeks even if I change it every other day (I am NOT changing it every day. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not!). For people, I voted fresh sweat not stale sweat.

[Snickerdoodle]

I don't know why, but after having children my sense of smell has heightened dramatically.

 

Today I was noticing my kids had a sour smell about them and I'm wondering if they are on the verge of getting sick.

[AFwife Claire]

We know a family who is pretty neat in so many ways but they don't appear to believe in anti-perspirant or deodorant (not sure about their thoughts regarding soap) AND they wear a lot of wool. They all smell like a 60yo farmer who plows his field all summer in an aran sweater and bathes once a decade. Ewwwww. We have not pursued a friendship in no small part because of this.

 

 

 

One of my very close friends also seems to not believe in deoderant or anti-perspirant. I never thought I was really keyed in to smell, but it drives. me. crazy. to sit next to her in the summer months, esp. when she wears a sleeveless shirt. All I can think is "Sweaty armpit smell!" I love her to death, and I don't know a tactful way to address this without being hurtful, so I just try not to sit or stand right next to her.

 

Well, I guess I do remember being bothered on buses in Germany and France when we were there on our honeymoon, so maybe it has always bothered me. I guess I DO expect people not to smell sweaty!

[Dawn in OH]

I guess it would depend on the situation.

 

At Christmas dinner I expect everyone to smell good.

 

At an all day hiking event in the park in the middle of summer, well, anyone that's not slightly smelly isn't getting the full benefit of the outing!

 

If I invite you over to my house for lunch I expect you to not smell bad.

 

When I lived in Florida on a boat, most of the neighbors and friends were pretty smelly. There was an unwritten rule that if you were having a planned dinner with any of the neighbors, you showered before dinner. A spontaneous get together was less formal.

[LauraGB]

I would like everyone to smell like nothing. Or, at least something pleasant, like vanilla or lavender or...something subtle and nice :D. Sweat grosses me out. I get that it is natural and human and all that, but I don't like to smell bacteria multiplying on someone's skin, kwim?

 

So, I guess, my vote is no one should stink. A shower takes as little as 3 minutes. Soap can be really cheap. Please, indulge.

 

(And I also know I may be a little weird about smelly stuff - I accept that.)

[Aubrey]

I think it has everything to do with context. Fresh sweat from kids on the soccer field? No problem. Fresh sweat on dh when he's been working outside? Just makes me grateful that he did whatever it was so I didn't have to!

 

Fresh sweat at a close-quartered meeting, in an intimate setting, professional setting--most of this is offensive. Don't go to the gym right before work if there's not time to shower afterward, ya know?

 

Odor from teachers, doctors, dentists is *not* okay.

 

There may be a context where old sweat is fine, but I can't think of one offhand. I don't necessarily care if someone has showered w/in the last 24 hrs. Sometimes a more recent shower is very necessary, lol! And sometimes life doesn't call for one that frequent. Both are fine w/ me--apply as needed.

[Nakia]

I don't know why, but after having children my sense of smell has heightened dramatically.

 

Today I was noticing my kids had a sour smell about them and I'm wondering if they are on the verge of getting sick.

 

I can definitely smell my kids getting sick. I know exactly what you are talking about.

[KidsHappen]

I am very sensitive to smell. Extremely so but I am ok with fresh sweat, outside smell and other mild natural smells (a very mild whiff of manure, skunk or weasel is not horrible) but others I can not stand such as garlic, curry, most flowery odors. Finally, as Audrey said context matters. Doctors, dentist, chiros better not smell at all or if they do it should be extremely pleasant (well, if it is a guy, maybe not too pleasant :tongue_smilie:). A man who just mowed the lawn is fine unless of course he is planning on coming to bed that way.

 

We just came home from my dd's house. She uses a certain detergent and she has a ferret (which I call the weasel) so when we come home from there everything smells very faintly of her house. There are some things I take like extra pillows, blankets and sweaters and such that I don't wash for a while after I get home because the smell reminds me of her house and it brings back pleasant memories. I always snuggle the baby with a few hand towels and bring those home as well. I do realize that I am weird about the smell thing though.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I voted 'other' because I can't stand it when people try to cover their body odor with perfumes or body sprays. I would rather smell the sweat than strawberry-kiwi scented sweat.

 

Just shower already!

[LG Gone Wild]

I voted fresh sweat is okay but it has to be fresh and not mingled with dirt or animal cooties. What makes people stink even if sweat is fresh is the clothes which have old sweat imbued in the fibers.

 

I am all for perfume and lots of it.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We just came home from my dd's house. She uses a certain detergent and she has a ferret (which I call the weasel) so when we come home from there everything smells very faintly of her house. There are some things I take like extra pillows, blankets and sweaters and such that I don't wash for a while after I get home because the smell reminds me of her house and it brings back pleasant memories. I always snuggle the baby with a few hand towels and bring those home as well. I do realize that I am weird about the smell thing though.

 

My MIL always jokes that she wants to come visit her new grandkids before the new baby smell wears off.

 

And I have a love for cherry cavendish tobacco because that's what my grandfather smoked. As a teen, I ended up with several of his sweaters. Later I got his recliner chair. Both smelled like this tobacco for the longest time.

[WiseOwlKnits]

I want to smell nothing, unless we're all outside working in the yard or something. And then people better be taking showers when they come back in. Like the poster in the other thread, I've made my kids take showers mid-day because they've been playing outside and they smell like dirt and sweat.

 

I generally expect people to have taken a shower in the last 24 hours. And I've purposely avoided people because I can't stand their no-shower smell. I have a VERY sensitive nose though...to the point DH makes fun of me for it, LOL.

[Peela]

I find the chemical smell of Lynx deodorant that my son uses worse than the smell of sweat on him and his clothes- and thats saying something. It seems all his clothes smell of Lynx. I think he sprays his clothes with it instead of washing them.

 

I dont mind a bit of a sweaty smell. I am not super sensitive to smells- as in, not so easily offended by them. Dh is- he will get stirredup at the slightest pong. I try and help him by telling him I like him smelling a bit sweaty :)

 

I often wonder how people in western society from past centuries managed to handle smells. What about in England when they bathed only rarely? I am sure it mst be something we get used to, either way.

[Desert Rat]

Oh, I can definitely smell lung infections in my asthmatics. It saves me lots of headaches because I can start them on the special medications straight away and stop a full blown illness.

[KidsHappen]

My MIL always jokes that she wants to come visit her new grandkids before the new baby smell wears off.

 

And I have a love for cherry cavendish tobacco because that's what my grandfather smoked. As a teen, I ended up with several of his sweaters. Later I got his recliner chair. Both smelled like this tobacco for the longest time.

 

New baby smell is the best! :001_smile:

[Aggie]

I voted 'other' because I can't stand it when people try to cover their body odor with perfumes or body sprays. I would rather smell the sweat than strawberry-kiwi scented sweat.

 

:iagree: I wish cheap body sprays were illegal.

[LibraryLover]

I find a little sweat on my dh to be sexy. ;) It's seems manly. I like it better than cologne. I also like barns. :):D

 

I also never think my kids stink, not even my 16 yr old ds. His rooms smells likes old socks, I grant you, but his personal scent is that of a boy, a clean boy, but a boy, and my dds have a different scent. Lighter, even when running, playing, or working outside. Even after track practice, my teen dd didn't stink. She needed a shower, absolutely, but she did not stink. When my oldest comes home from college, the first thing I do is hug him tight and breath in his scent. LOL It's so mama-bear. He laughs at me "You always sniff me". Primordial. When my youngest was born and dh handed her to me, I buried my face in her still -steamy (from being cooped up for nearly 9 mos) neck and inhaled hard. Fantastic. Imprinting.

 

I don't like perfume etc., so this may be why. I like outdoor scents, real scents, and herbs. Musty ground, warm garden earth.

Edited April 9, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Guest Katia]

I am very sensitive to smell. Extremely so but I am ok with fresh sweat, outside smell and other mild natural smells (a very mild whiff of manure, skunk or weasel is not horrible) but others I can not stand such as garlic, curry, most flowery odors. Finally, as Audrey said context matters. Doctors, dentist, chiros better not smell at all or if they do it should be extremely pleasant (well, if it is a guy, maybe not too pleasant :tongue_smilie:). A man who just mowed the lawn is fine unless of course he is planning on coming to bed that way.

 

We just came home from my dd's house. She uses a certain detergent and she has a ferret (which I call the weasel) so when we come home from there everything smells very faintly of her house. There are some things I take like extra pillows, blankets and sweaters and such that I don't wash for a while after I get home because the smell reminds me of her house and it brings back pleasant memories. I always snuggle the baby with a few hand towels and bring those home as well. I do realize that I am weird about the smell thing though.

 

If you are weird about the smell thing, then so am I. My mom passed away almost 4 years ago, and when my sister and I went through her things and picked out things to keep for remembrances, my sister was surprised that I picked her coat, her night gowns, her house dresses and her pillow case, since sis wanted things like her leather coat and fancy sweaters.

 

Well, mom hardly ever wore the things my sister wanted; however, she wore the things I picked out all.the.time. and often many times before washing them. I have her things in a plastic storage box, and when I take them out I immediately smell them. They still smell like Mom and for just a moment it's like she right there with me and I hug them tight. I put them away very quickly as I want the smell to stay in them for as long as possible.

 

But in answer to the question, I like people to be body odor-less but I don't mind the smell of soap. :001_smile:

[Mergath]

I'm apparently in the minority here, but I've never had a problem with the smell of sweat, old or fresh. However, we try to live very naturally here, so we only shower every two days (daily showers are terrible for your skin, your immune system, and the environment) and try to avoid artificial fragrances. We do use deodorant, though. ;)

 

I think that, as a society, we've become too sterile. Body odors are good. Body odors mean pheromones, which make people like each other. I know, I'm oversimplifying here. But I think we've taken the whole body odor = bad thing way too far.

[IsabelC]

My idea scenario would be no artificial smells (scented deodorant, perfume, body lotion etc) but frequent washing. I know that not everyone can shower once or twice a day, but everyone can do a thorough wash of the 'smelly bits' as often as needed. So yeah, I prefer no smell, but a bit of natural body smell is far better to me than loads of chemicals and fake smells.

[IsabelC]

I think that, as a society, we've become too sterile. Body odors are good. Body odors mean pheromones, which make people like each other. I know, I'm oversimplifying here. But I think we've taken the whole body odor = bad thing way too far.

And yep, I agree with that.

The funny/ironic thing is that many of the perfumes people wear are actually made from the scents of other animals. I find it bizarre that anyone would prefer civet to their own scent. I guess it's all part of that paradigm of not viewing humans as animals.

[katemary63]

I'm apparently in the minority here, but I've never had a problem with the smell of sweat, old or fresh. However, we try to live very naturally here, so we only shower every two days (daily showers are terrible for your skin, your immune system, and the environment) and try to avoid artificial fragrances. We do use deodorant, though. ;)

 

I think that, as a society, we've become too sterile. Body odors are good. Body odors mean pheromones, which make people like each other. I know, I'm oversimplifying here. But I think we've taken the whole body odor = bad thing way too far.

 

:iagree:This is me. I don't shower daily, mostly because I have very dry, sensitive skin. I avoid soap at all costs and only use it in the neccesary spots. :D I don't stink though and do use unscented deoderant. But I also don't mind normal human smells. We are outdoor people and are pretty sweaty AND dirty most of the time. I have never sent my kids to the shower just because they stink unless it's been like...a week or something since the last shower! I barely get them bathed for church! :D

 

In addition, my DH and I can not tolerate perfume or cologn, on ourselves or other people. Those of you who wear a lot of fragrances have no idea how uncomfortable you make other people who are sensitive. My DH has to sometimes leave a room because of women who are over scented. He'd rather smell light sweat any day.

[Laura Corin]

Follow up for those who expect people not to smell. How far do you go in your own lives to ensure that you and your children meet your expectations? A scenario - you can choose both b) and c) if you like:

 

You go to a picnic with friends on a cool day. Unexpectedly the sun comes out and the children run around and get hot. They haven't eaten yet, but to you they smell. Would you a) take them home before lunch, b) take them home right after lunch, c) cancel the visit to your mother-in-law that you had planned for later so that you could get them clean?

 

Thanks

 

Laura

[Laura Corin]

I also never think my kids stink, not even my 16 yr old ds. His rooms smells likes old socks, I grant you, but his personal scent is that of a boy, a clean boy, but a boy, and my dds have a different scent. Lighter, even when running, playing, or working outside.

 

I don't really find that my children smell bad when they are hot - even pubescent Calvin smells fine so long as it's fresh sweat, even after two hours of Taekwondo.

 

Laura

[Blossom'sGirl]

I voted other. I would take sweaty over fabric softener. My kids have a friend who's clothing literally gives me a headache after he visits. The smell lingers in the house for days and I can even smell it on the furniture where he sat. I do use reasonable scented shampoos and soaps but most people's clothes make my eyes water.

 

Ideally, I like when people don't smell like anything. Aged B.O. is rough but perfumes are just as tough on me. My kids get a bath almost every day in the warmer weather but more for being caked with dirt than from being sweaty.

[Sherry in OH]

I voted 'other' because I can't stand it when people try to cover their body odor with perfumes or body sprays. I would rather smell the sweat than strawberry-kiwi scented sweat.

 

Just shower already!

 

:iagree:

 

I would rather smell body odor than body odor and cologne. Either bath with soap and water or smell like sweat.

 

When you do bathe, put on clean clothing. I had a friend in college who would bath daily, but would wear the same shirt for several days in a row. That might be okay in the winter, but in summer?

[Hedgehogs4]

 

We know a family who is pretty neat in so many ways but they don't appear to believe in anti-perspirant or deodorant (not sure about their thoughts regarding soap) AND they wear a lot of wool. They all smell like a 60yo farmer who plows his field all summer in an aran sweater and bathes once a decade. Ewwwww. We have not pursued a friendship in no small part because of this.

 

 

 

tough...they probably don't smell themselves...and if we lived in the 1800s we'd probably all smell that way and wouldn't notice. they're probably really healthy! :lol: however, one has to consider the culture and time they're in. i probably couldn't hang with them either.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I find a little sweat on my dh to be sexy. ;) It's seems manly. I like it better than cologne. I also like barns. :):D

 

I also never think my kids stink, not even my 16 yr old ds. His rooms smells likes old socks, I grant you, but his personal scent is that of a boy, a clean boy, but a boy, and my dds have a different scent. Lighter, even when running, playing, or working outside. Even after track practice, my teen dd didn't stink. She needed a shower, absolutely, but she did not stink. When my oldest comes home from college, the first thing I do is hug him tight and breath in his scent. LOL It's so mama-bear. He laughs at me "You always sniff me". Primordial. When my youngest was born and dh handed her to me, I buried my face in her still -steamy (from being cooped up for nearly 9 mos) neck and inhaled hard. Fantastic. Imprinting.

 

I don't like perfume etc., so this may be why. I like outdoor scents, real scents, and herbs. Musty ground, warm garden earth.

 

Ditto. My dh smells the best when he's walks in from cutting the grass. The smell of manly sweat, cut grass and bit of engine exhaust (okay, he worked in an auto repair shop when I fell for him) on him makes me swoooooon.:tongue_smilie:

 

My boys smell like boys.

 

I detest artificial scents (laundry softeners, flowery candles) and don't wear perfume on a regular basis - even then I prefer vanilla, woodsy or spicy.

 

My best friend is very sensitive to smells. She has candles/oil burning everywhere. Has tried 3x's to have an indoor dog, but the smell just gets to her. Her clothes reek of downy. Makes her kids bathe daily (even though they are couch potatoes and have skin conditions).

 

Honestly, she must love me because she puts up with my "natural" smell.

 

K

(who confesses to skipping showers and deoderant!)

[8circles]

I'm apparently in the minority here, but I've never had a problem with the smell of sweat, old or fresh. However, we try to live very naturally here, so we only shower every two days (daily showers are terrible for your skin, your immune system, and the environment) and try to avoid artificial fragrances. We do use deodorant, though. ;)

 

I think that, as a society, we've become too sterile. Body odors are good. Body odors mean pheromones, which make people like each other. I know, I'm oversimplifying here. But I think we've taken the whole body odor = bad thing way too far.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:I don't shower daily, neither do my kids. We don't smell. We are very active outdoors people. Smelling heavy artificial perfumes is downright painful to me. I also don't get the current Febreeze-type product popularity.

[runamuk]

I don't mind the smell of fresh sweat or my family if they skip a day of showering. Old sweat or 2 days without soap and water and I start shooing everyone to the shower.

 

I would rather smell sweat, though, than the body sprays my husband and daughter use . They both apply too much and I end up with a headache - especially if they're both in the house at the same time. :ack2:

[CAMom]

I am overly sensitive to smells I will easily find myself trying to stifle gagging if I'm around someone who is smelly. I wish I was more tolerant but I have the nose of a blood hound and what can be an over active gag reflex.

[hornblower]

tough...they probably don't smell themselves....

 

Yes, I think this is true. Our noses DO acclimate & stop smelling things.

 

I have to ask people who don't live with dogs to give me ratings on dog smell in my house b/e I know that I don't really smell them.

 

So those of you who say you don't smell - um, don't be so sure. ;)

 

Anyone with sensitive skin can still be sponge bathing and washing pits, crotch and feet daily.

 

I do think the sense of smell is very important. Someone earlier mentioned being able to smell when patients are sick. I have said before that I don't think children should be forced 'to try' new foods because I can tell whether I'll like something or not just by smelling it.

 

 

 

Obviously our attitudes to cleanliness and hygiene are very culturally rooted and relative. I heard the author of this book interviewed & she spoke of how the only commonality is that everyone thinks their standards are superior to that of the those people :lol:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Dirt-Clean-Unsanitized-History/dp/0374531374/ref=pd_sim_b_1

 

It's The Dirt on Clean - an Unsanitized History by K Ashenburg. Reviews show she tackles a lot, including historical religious views on cleanliness:

 

"Many early saints embraced filth enthusiastically and ingeniously," says Ashenburg. The head of a convent in the fourth century warned her nuns, "A clean body and a clean dress mean an unclean soul." The Spanish Inquisition knew it was on the right track if an accused was "known to bathe," and Spanish confessors would not absolve those who washed regularly.

 

 

It's been on my wishlist for ages.....sounds like a good read.

[Aubrey]

Follow up for those who expect people not to smell. How far do you go in your own lives to ensure that you and your children meet your expectations? A scenario - you can choose both b) and c) if you like:

 

You go to a picnic with friends on a cool day. Unexpectedly the sun comes out and the children run around and get hot. They haven't eaten yet, but to you they smell. Would you a) take them home before lunch, b) take them home right after lunch, c) cancel the visit to your mother-in-law that you had planned for later so that you could get them clean?

 

Thanks

 

Laura

 

Well...I guess I wouldn't have planned it that way to begin w/. If we go on a picnic, esp w/ friends, I'd expect my kids to run around. They're little enough that they're not likely to smell *too* much afterward, but they'd be dirty.

 

I'd be more likely to plan to see mil *first* then go to the park. Or invite mil to the park w/ us. But really, mil wouldn't be a point of concern for me. She's going to get the kids stinkier & dirtier than I ever will, lol. And we're close enough that if I wanted to bathe them while we were there, that'd be fine. And I wouldn't *want* to, lol.

 

But going to see, say my g'parents. When they were alive (my greats), they lived a couple of hrs away. A picnic on the way would have been highly unlikely, but let's say it happened. My grm (who lived w/ the greats) *loves* to bathe babies. And she loves to give bigger kids bath salts & bubbles. So if I'd brought them stinky & dirty, she'd probably have thought that was tacky of me & been delighted to help me fix it. :lol: