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Do you think it is okay to correct someone's grammar?


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I saw a friend recently correct someone else's grammar on Facebook. I find that incredibly rude. It was obvious what she meant to say. I also think it is rude when someone mispronounces a word and other people correct them.

 

Why is it acceptable to have a grammar police? :glare:

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I don't do it and it bothers me when others do. I have a friend on Facebook who lamented the grammar mistakes and misspellings of someone else. Now HIS mistakes are so glaring it is almost impossible for me not to say something, but I don't :glare:.

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I think it's rude and makes the one who is correcting look like a snot.

 

On the other hand, when I have incorrectly pronounced a word and realize it later, I kind of wish some had whispered in my ear ('it's nook-lee-er, not nook-u-ler" not that I have a problem with that specific word, but ykwim.)

 

just my two cents...

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I think it's a great thing to do - it you want to be permanently set to "hide" on all your friends' lists! (Or dropped!)

 

I can't imagine correcting someone else's grammar, because I make so many errors myself. I'm grateful for the grace shown to me, so the least I can do is assume what the person meant to say and move on.

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I sincerely do not understand the taboo with correcting someone's grammar. Really, I absolutely think it's rude NOT to tell someone when they using double negatives and sounding otherwise like an uneducated fool. Certainly, I wouldn't suggest correcting a complete stranger, your boss or even your parents if they would feel disrespected, but dh, friends, kids? Absolutely. I would also like to know if I have a big black hair on my chin, spinach in my teeth or a lowered zipper. Politely and not in front of other people, it's only beneficial. I don't get it.

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I sincerely do not understand the taboo with correcting someone's grammar. Really, I absolutely think it's rude NOT to tell someone when they using double negatives and sounding otherwise like an uneducated fool. Certainly, I wouldn't suggest correcting a complete stranger, your boss or even your parents if they would feel disrespected, but dh, friends, kids? Absolutely. I would also like to know if I have a big black hair on my chin, spinach in my teeth or a lowered zipper. Politely and not in front of other people, it's only beneficial. I don't get it.

 

I agree, most people would appreciate being lovingly corrected, in private, by someone who they are well-acquainted with.

 

By a "friend" on Facebook, for all to see? Not so much.

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I sincerely do not understand the taboo with correcting someone's grammar. Really, I absolutely think it's rude NOT to tell someone when they using double negatives and sounding otherwise like an uneducated fool. Certainly, I wouldn't suggest correcting a complete stranger, your boss or even your parents if they would feel disrespected, but dh, friends, kids? Absolutely. I would also like to know if I have a big black hair on my chin, spinach in my teeth or a lowered zipper. Politely and not in front of other people, it's only beneficial. I don't get it.

 

What about this situation. We've got a homeschool mom who puts up absolutely terrible stuff on Facebook. Things like, "Ronnie done good preachin today." There is a part of me that wants to talk to her. We are TEACHERS! I just wince every time I read something she posts, but I've never said anything.

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What about this situation. We've got a homeschool mom who puts up absolutely terrible stuff on Facebook. Things like, "Ronnie done good preachin today." There is a part of me that wants to talk to her. We are TEACHERS! I just wince every time I read something she posts, but I've never said anything.

 

It depends on how close you are to her. I'll be honest, I read that and snickered (in an Oh My Gosh sort of way), felt bad for the mom, then felt worse for the kids. I'm guessing this woman is a nice, gentle, well-intended woman. My entire extended family is like that! Someone should point it out to her - especially, as you point out, she teaches! Possibly offer to help her out if she wants to know. But if you are not a dear friend, you shouldn't be the one - she would feel stupid. Unless you possess the Master Moves of Subtlety. But no doubt about it - someone in her life should point it out.

Edited by LauraGB
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There is a part of me that wants to talk to her. We are TEACHERS! I just wince every time I read something she posts, but I've never said anything.

 

Do you think she would even understand? There are some people who would need a complete grammar course in order to speak/write better. Others have grown so accustomed to using what we call "Okie speak" around here that I don't think they would be able to break the habit. I feel that any correction I would offer would be ineffective for either or both of those reasons. And I would be perceived as considering myself better than them. So I leave it alone unless I can somehow work the conversation around to the topic of grammar. I know of few people who would consider it a kindness to have me correct their grammar (other than family).

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Personally, I think it is rude to correct someone else and I certainly wouldn't do it on Facebook. I will obviously correct my children but that is my responsibility to teach them. I have a friend on facebook that recently announced to all that if you couldn't "speak" with a semblance of proper grammar on his FB stuff, he was deleting you as a friend. I am still a friend so I either passed the test or he didn't follow through with it.

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I've bit my lip and walked away from the puter now and then. I'm nowhere NEAR perfect, but nothing makes me nuttier than to be reading a post from someone that is attempting to come across as an intellectual snob, holier than thou, and its full of grammatical errors and typos. The urge to correct it is rooted in the urge to knock them down a peg or two, which is completely unkind...hence why I walk away.

 

I admit, when it comes to homeschool parents, there are times when I wince, especially in a mixed group setting. Nothing says 'Uh oh' when in a group of mainly ps parents and a homeschool parent that misspells every 3rd word. The term 'feeding frenzy' comes to mind.

 

Now, that said, I *have* gently corrected my dh upon occasion. Our children are learning from *us*, so I find there is more pressure to ensure that we use appropriate grammar, pronunciation, etc than there was before when Diva was in ps. I think I'm simply more aware of it.

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I think it's rude and makes the one who is correcting look like a snot.

 

 

 

I agree with this (in regard to Facebook). But most of my true circle of friends are homeschoolers and we do this for fun. So to do this to each other, it would be perfectly acceptable, almost expected. To do it to other "friends", the quote above applies.

 

Of course, if someone is discussing grammar and makes grammatical errors, they are fair game.

 

In real life I would probably just ignore it. I can't go through life correcting the grocery store clerks, bank tellers, and everyone else I come into contact with.

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Only if is it is a family member and is in private.

 

My mil will do this to my dh... in front of our kids :glare:... and I HATE it when she does. Like you said...do it in private if you're really concerned about it. She doesn't see anything wrong with it. She still thinks of him as her little boy that she can correct when she wants to. He's almost 40! If he hasn't learned it by now, get over it. :D

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Do you think she would even understand? There are some people who would need a complete grammar course in order to speak/write better. Others have grown so accustomed to using what we call "Okie speak" around here that I don't think they would be able to break the habit. I feel that any correction I would offer would be ineffective for either or both of those reasons. And I would be perceived as considering myself better than them. So I leave it alone unless I can somehow work the conversation around to the topic of grammar. I know of few people who would consider it a kindness to have me correct their grammar (other than family).

 

:iagree: My mother grew up poor, in the country, and received a poor education. Literally she was in a one room school house until high school. She had to work full time to put herself through HIGH school as she had to "move to town" with no support from her parents. She sometimes uses bad grammar and knows it. She used to get upset and embarrassed when someone would correct her. She communicates well and loves to talk but she's the first to admit there are many things she doesn't know about grammar or spelling.

 

When they entered the internet age my nephew used to send her e-mails back with grammar and spelling corrections. I wanted to slap him. This is your grandmother and I think it clearly showed disrespect. I would have loved to receive any casual communication from my grandparents as a child.

 

So if I understand what is being said, I won't correct grammar. If the meaning isn't clear I don't see anything wrong with asking for clarification, but I was taught it was rude to point out other peoples' mistakes unless they ask.

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Do you think she would even understand? There are some people who would need a complete grammar course in order to speak/write better.

 

:iagree:

 

While I would want to know, I doubt that's the case for a lot of people. I think it's one thing to tell a person who is using a word incorrectly. That one bit of information might stick. But someone who uses double negatives or the like? I don't see how one person telling them it's wrong could possibly change their speech patterns.

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I correct my children's and my students' grammar sometimes. I never correct another adult's grammar, although I do notice it and may cringe inwardly.

 

I have been tempted to get out my red pen and correct grammar in certain publications and send it in along with an offer to be a proofreader, LOL.

 

Please note that I know I make numerous grammatical errors on boards such as this, but it's not for publication.

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I think it is incredibly rude to point out grammer or pronunciation mistakes in a public setting. In our homeschool co-op I do a book club with the kids. One of the children (7) is constantly 'correcting' my pronunciation because "that's not the way we said it". Not only is it rude, it is disruptive. And almost without exception, her corrections have been wrong. Her mother just sits by smiling and never says a word.

By the way, how did you pronounce Jansci from The Good Master?

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I saw a friend recently correct someone else's grammar on Facebook. I find that incredibly rude. It was obvious what she meant to say. I also think it is rude when someone mispronounces a word and other people correct them.

 

Why is it acceptable to have a grammar police? :glare:

 

I was an English teacher and I would never correct someone's grammar (unless they were my student). I think it's very rude. My mother does this TO ME all the time. Then she follows it by saying.."Geez I thought you were an English teacher"....I love Grammar books too. I'm not perfect by any means but I am one of those oddballs that loves to study Grammar. However, that is my issue and my hobby. It is not for me to push on someone else. Also when talking informally on these boards and facebook, I do not go back and edit myself so I make mistakes too.

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There is a big difference between lazy, casual speech and glaringly poor grammar. Double negatives are a punishable offense at my house. The use of the word cr*p is not (even though I know it is considered so in many households), but it is noted that the user sounds dim and should come up with a more creative term. Now, if that word is used incorrectly, well, that's a whole different story. I'm more offended by misusage than I am by pseudo 4 letter words. I can be described as many undesirable things, lol, but a snob is not one of them.

 

I agree that it is fruitless to address adults who either don't know or don't care. I also agree that it is terribly rude to correct Grandma (unless she has expressed an interest in being corrected). It is rude to correct in a public setting (like Facebook). However, I have to call dh on it (privately, of course) because I know he doesn't want to sound like a dope - it's bad for business if he does, but he was never taught the correct way to speak. I make a ton of speedy mistakes, too, but a mistake is not the same as constant misuse to the point of just not knowing.

Edited by LauraGB
added an -ly to a word, lol
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If I was to correct people's grammar and pronunciation, I would be at it all the time. People where I live don't say four they say fou, winder instead of window. It all drives me nuts but I know I can't change these people so I just let them be and keep telling myself that my daughter will not talk like that because she is NOT going to these schools and will not be around these people enough to catch on and start copying them.

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I have a friend on facebook who once intended to say that her cow was "mooing" all night, but instead mistyped it as "mowing". I thought her mistake was funny and commented on it only for that reason. I mean, who wouldn't want a cow who mowed your lawn all night? :) But apparently, she didn't think my post was funny. She sent me back a snarky remark. I apologized and we've moved on!

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Correcting grammar within the family is a normal thing around here...I correct dc, dh and I correct each other, etc. It has been a normal thing with friends in a one-on-one conversation--I'm grateful to my college friend who explained the difference between good and well to me. I had never been taught that before. But correcting someone in a public forum like Facebook or a chat board feels more like humiliation or shaming. Sometimes it can be done in a fun and humorous way that doesn't offend, but that can be hard to pull off. Best to just smile to yourself and let it pass.

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I have a friend on facebook who once intended to say that her cow was "mooing" all night, but instead mistyped it as "mowing". I thought her mistake was funny and commented on it only for that reason. I mean, who wouldn't want a cow who mowed your lawn all night? :) But apparently, she didn't think my post was funny. She sent me back a snarky remark. I apologized and we've moved on!

 

LOL....If she didn't think it was funny I bet it was more than a mistype.....

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I have a friend on facebook who once intended to say that her cow was "mooing" all night, but instead mistyped it as "mowing". I thought her mistake was funny and commented on it only for that reason. I mean, who wouldn't want a cow who mowed your lawn all night? :) But apparently, she didn't think my post was funny. She sent me back a snarky remark. I apologized and we've moved on!

 

I have one of those. I worked for a health insurance company. We had denied a routine vision claim (those are for your vision insurance.). The customer called and explained that the exam wasn't routine vision--it was for a medical reason.

 

The cs rep wrote that the medical reason was a "clog teak duck." What she meant to write was "clogged tear duct." I thought it was hilarious and pointed it out to her.

 

She was not amused.

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:iagree: My mother grew up poor, in the country, and received a poor education. Literally she was in a one room school house until high school. She had to work full time to put herself through HIGH school as she had to "move to town" with no support from her parents. She sometimes uses bad grammar and knows it. She used to get upset and embarrassed when someone would correct her. She communicates well and loves to talk but she's the first to admit there are many things she doesn't know about grammar or spelling.

 

When they entered the internet age my nephew used to send her e-mails back with grammar and spelling corrections. I wanted to slap him. This is your grandmother and I think it clearly showed disrespect. I would have loved to receive any casual communication from my grandparents as a child.

 

So if I understand what is being said, I won't correct grammar. If the meaning isn't clear I don't see anything wrong with asking for clarification, but I was taught it was rude to point out other peoples' mistakes unless they ask.

 

Thank you for sharing. :)

 

I have to say that the "grammar police" threads that occur here occasionally always make me feel like a heel.

Edited by PollyOR
Took out a not so nice thing I said.
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LOL!

 

To my kids.

 

To a good friend who told me she wanted to work on her grammar

 

To a friend's child whose 4-H speech included the word "funner" over and over again--as in "this game was funner than that game" --don't know if this one was appreciated, but I thought a junior in high school should hear it from someone.

 

To a high schooler who was teaching other students debate and kept using less instead of fewer--he debates all over the U.S. and I thought he should know the difference (and would want to know it!)

 

And even though I try to correct poor grammar in my head so that I don't start using it (!), I, too, think that it would be poor manners to correct someone, especially in public.

 

I always wonder if anyone's dog would obey me if I said, "Lie down!" All the people I know tell them to lay down. (I try to think what they would do if their dogs obeyed them and suddenly started to lay feathers (i.e. down) under them like a chicken lays her eggs.)

 

It doesn't stop me from complaining once in a while about the poor grammar usage that I hear, though--as in how everyone seems to use myself instead of me.

 

But then, I always say that all you need to do is look at what I write and listen to what I say to know that I am not a grammar guru. I can proof something a dozen times and still come back later to find idiocies.

 

So go ahead and point out my mistakes. I can take it.

 

I think.

 

:lol:

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LOL!

 

I always wonder if anyone's dog would obey me if I said, "Lie down!" All the people I know tell them to lay down. (I try to think what they would do if their dogs obeyed them and suddenly started to lay feathers (i.e. down) under them like a chicken lays her eggs.)

 

 

But then, I always say that all you need to do is look at what I write and listen to what I say to know that I am not a grammar guru. I can proof something a dozen times and still come back later to find idiocies.

 

So go ahead and point out my mistakes. I can take it.

 

 

:lol:

 

:iagree: :D -- I never get lie/lay correct!

 

My grandmother taught herself English as an adult immigrant, and eventually earned a Bachelor's and Masters in related fields. She always corrected us, still does. I have an entire family of grammar police, so I suppose I'm just accustomed to it - both getting and giving. I have a decent ear/eye for grammar, but not a perfect one. I'm prone to error, and prefer it be pointed out so I can avoid said error in the future.

 

My inlaws learned English when they immigrated here as teens, and they still speak incorrectly. Naturally, some allowances are made, and I'd never correct them but I do correct my kids in front of them when they repeat or copy those same errors. Interestingly enough, my MIL has taken note and we've noticed marked changes to her English.

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:iagree: :D -- I never get lie/lay correct!

 

My grandmother taught herself English as an adult immigrant, and eventually earned a Bachelor's and Masters in related fields. She always corrected us, still does. I have an entire family of grammar police, so I suppose I'm just accustomed to it - both getting and giving. I have a decent ear/eye for grammar, but not a perfect one. I'm prone to error, and prefer it be pointed out so I can avoid said error in the future.

 

My inlaws learned English when they immigrated here as teens, and they still speak incorrectly. Naturally, some allowances are made, and I'd never correct them but I do correct my kids in front of them when they repeat or copy those same errors. Interestingly enough, my MIL has taken note and we've noticed marked changes to her English.

 

I always tell my kiddos that chickens lay eggs (lay + noun) and if they want to use the word lay there better be some THING added to the verb to show what they are laying. If they say they are going to lay down, I make chicken noises. (Mean mom who does not have kids who misuse this simply because I learned it incorrectly and I was not going to let them do so. LOL!)

 

My grandparents came from Germany, and I found oddities in my speech when I was in grad school studying English which probably were handed down through my parents--prepositions that I misused and other structures that I had to try and change. I've given up trying to correct it all--at one time I though I could. :lol: When it comes to me, perfect English is just not goin' ta happen.

 

:)

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I always tell my kiddos that chickens lay eggs (lay + noun) and if they want to use the word lay there better be some THING added to the verb to show what they are laying. If they say they are going to lay down, I make chicken noises. (Mean mom who does not have kids who misuse this simply because I learned it incorrectly and I was not going to let them do so. LOL!)

 

 

I love this :lol: and I'm going to tell my kids because I KNOW they will make chicken noises at me. I think I may finally learn which to use, and when LOL.

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I saw a friend recently correct someone else's grammar on Facebook. I find that incredibly rude. It was obvious what she meant to say. I also think it is rude when someone mispronounces a word and other people correct them.

 

Why is it acceptable to have a grammar police? :glare:

 

It depends on who it is and where it is. In private, my parents/sibs all corrects everyone else. I correct my son's when he is talking to me, even in public, and when he is talking to his dad, in private. I correct hubby in private, too, and he understands I am only doing it to help Little Big Ears learn to speak correctly. "He has only one chance to learn proper grammar from the get-go."

 

Once kiddo has gotten a solid grasp, I will not correct hubby any more.

 

Anyone remember Alex the Gray Parrot? He was taught using a technique that was developed for the disabled human learner. Two adults talk about an object: You have a green triangle in your hand. Yes, I do. Would you like to hold my green triangle?

 

BUT, sometimes one makes a mistake, and the other corrects: I like your purple circle. You mean BLUE. Oh yes, tee-hee, your blue circle.

 

This method "talks" to me. I can't explain it, but it seems valid. Why not with grammar?

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I never get lie/lay correct!

 

 

 

The way I remember it is that lie is intransitive--it does not take a directed object. Lie and intransitive both have an i in them. Sophisticated, no? :D

 

Of course, where I get in trouble is using the past tense of lie or lay. Lie is lay and lay is laid, but whenever I am about to use one, I have to stop and think it through. :001_smile:

 

Tara

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