joannqn Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 My daughter is one of those fearful kids. I've been dealing with it for nearly all of her life. So, when we got to the orthodontist consultation this morning, I noticed a sign on the door leading to the treatment area that said, "Only patients allowed in treatment area." I asked about it. They said I could go back today, but when she's a patient she'd have to go alone. I told them that wouldn't work for us, that we'll have to find another orthodontist. They tried to explain that the assistant would take her back and help make her comfortable; that kids are more nervous when their parents are with them. I explained it was just the opposite with my daughter. We've tried that with the dentist, and they had to come get me because they couldn't get her to stop screaming. She needs, and wants, me with her. So, they switched tactics. Looking at my infant, they said they also couldn't allow babies back there "because of the contamination". I'm not sure if they are worried that an infant in arms will contaminate their room or if the room will contaminate my infant. Meanwhile, my daughter was in tears with fear that they would make her go back there alone. We walked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdolphingirl Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you !!!! :grouphug: My sister has a similar story, about a dentist they took their 6yr old too... the current trend of excluding parents from a child being treated I find appalling ... hope you find a new Dr. that is more reasonable soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you! I don't get why some allow parents and other do not. When my oldest had an MRI at a children's hospital, it was protocol to have the parents in recovery to aid the child in waking up more comfortably rather than disoriented. When my youngest had an MRI at a regular hospital it was protocol to leave the parents out. I was furious because I watched as kids were transported from recovery to a main room by a seriously inadequate male nurse. Each child came out screaming. I made a lot of noise about that to insure than my dd was wheeled out in her bed (rather than carried as some were) and not by that nurse. There was no reason for what I saw. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Mouse Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You did the right thing! Maybe speaking up about it will make that practice reconsider their policy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I didn't walk out (of the dentist) and it is one of the biggest regrets in my life!!!!!!!!! :( My son had no problems going in on his own....he was confident about it. *I* knew it wasn't the right choice though. I knew when the work began he'd change his mind. I knew he would stick out and plaster a smile on his face. I knew her opinion of children behaving worse for parents didn't apply to my children. I knew that as his parent it is my job to make the decisions about what is best....not the dentist or the nurse or my child. Sigh...I wish I had walked out...and he eventually did too. You did great!!!!!!! You should be proud of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You did the right thing. :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Yay!!!! :thumbup: i think you absolutely did the right thing! Now they aren't going to charge you for that appt are they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You did the right thing. :thumbup1: :iagree: You so did. There is no reason that you shouldn't be able to be back there with them. I am completely paranoid about doctor abuse or lack of competence in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I didn't walk out (of the dentist) and it is one of the biggest regrets in my life!!!!!!!!! :(. Completely agree! :iagree: My daughter's first experience at a dentist was when she was 2.5 years old. They told me I couldn't go back. I had a newborn and it was our first experience and I just assumed it was "normal." In less than ten minutes they called me back. Four nurses were holding my daughter down by her arms and legs. She had been screaming so much that she went into an asthma attack and threw up all over the place. The dentist's office had the absolute GAUL to be mad at ME. I picked up my daughter and walked out. To this day she is still fearful of the dentist. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Ok- I'll be the slightly dissenting voice- notice I said slightly! I do think you should have the right to make sure your child is 100% comfortable. That is a given. However, I think most orthodontist offices are very different than dentists. Usually there are 3-5 chairs in a row, with room for the assistant on one side and the ortho in the other. They spend 98% of their time with teenagers, and never (in our case-both dh, me, and dc) are they alone with anyone. If you really want to find an ortho to let you go back, I wish you much luck. (I truly mean that!) In our current office, you would have to stand in the doorway to have a place in the room. Some pediatric dentists have studied orthodonthia as well. That might be a more feasible option to continue to go with her. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy in Ky Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 My daughter is one of those fearful kids. I've been dealing with it for nearly all of her life. So, when we got to the orthodontist consultation this morning, I noticed a sign on the door leading to the treatment area that said, "Only patients allowed in treatment area." I asked about it. They said I could go back today, but when she's a patient she'd have to go alone. I told them that wouldn't work for us, that we'll have to find another orthodontist. They tried to explain that the assistant would take her back and help make her comfortable; that kids are more nervous when their parents are with them. I explained it was just the opposite with my daughter. We've tried that with the dentist, and they had to come get me because they couldn't get her to stop screaming. She needs, and wants, me with her. So, they switched tactics. Looking at my infant, they said they also couldn't allow babies back there "because of the contamination". I'm not sure if they are worried that an infant in arms will contaminate their room or if the room will contaminate my infant. Meanwhile, my daughter was in tears with fear that they would make her go back there alone. We walked out. You are a wonderful mom!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KS_ Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 My kids just started with the ortho. He's got 3 "rooms" (more like bays w/o doors or anything) set up in a row, with seating along one side of each for parents/siblings. It's a great setup and he likes having the parent back there so he can discuss how the treatment is going and what exactly is happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 No, I won't be charged. It was an initial free consultation anyway. If they try, they'll have an angry set of parents on their hands. I started calling around and have already found a new orthodontist to try. I spoke with the receptionist on the phone before making the appointment. She said they prefer the parents to stay with the child. I asked about my other kids coming to appointments because I don't normally have child care and she said that they have a small area with toys that the boys could play in where the receptionists can keep an eye on them, or they could all come back with me. They also have no worries about my infant contaminating their treatment area. We discussed other things and have a consultation next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 :thumbup: I have a fearful daughter as well, so I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. You absolutely did the right thing. I am so thankful our orthodontist has a line up of 6 chairs and in front of each chair is a small stool for a parent. I see parents back there with their teens, too. Good for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurad1125 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Excellent! Good job! :party: My daughter is one of those fearful kids. I've been dealing with it for nearly all of her life. So, when we got to the orthodontist consultation this morning, I noticed a sign on the door leading to the treatment area that said, "Only patients allowed in treatment area." I asked about it. They said I could go back today, but when she's a patient she'd have to go alone. I told them that wouldn't work for us, that we'll have to find another orthodontist. They tried to explain that the assistant would take her back and help make her comfortable; that kids are more nervous when their parents are with them. I explained it was just the opposite with my daughter. We've tried that with the dentist, and they had to come get me because they couldn't get her to stop screaming. She needs, and wants, me with her. So, they switched tactics. Looking at my infant, they said they also couldn't allow babies back there "because of the contamination". I'm not sure if they are worried that an infant in arms will contaminate their room or if the room will contaminate my infant. Meanwhile, my daughter was in tears with fear that they would make her go back there alone. We walked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 It's been around for a while. When I first started going to the dentist, my parents told me they would go back with me. Get there and dentist says..."nope." I think that hospitals used to not allow parents to go back with children.....even if they were there for an extended stay. My dentist sees my children and he has been wonderful, even though he's not a "pediatric" dentist. My older child would have reacted the way your dd does. My younger child would have been fine going back by herself. FWIW: I *DO* think there are some scenarios where a parent can exacerbate the child's anxiety and make the situation worse. But, hard and fast rules rarely fit everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you. Our dentist allows us to go in with the kids. They would even let all of us in the room if there was space! :D They have even let my dd (6) be right in the action when they check her siblings teeth (or mine). :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You go girl!:D Sorry you have to find yet another dental type professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jg_puppy Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I did the same thing at the dentist. I was not going to send my 5 year old into a room with people I have never met. I knew I would like our current dentist when I called to ask about the dentist and one of the first things she told me was that they would never tell you that you can't be with your child. There are great dentists out there, but you have to search for them. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 :hurray: Good for you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you JoAnn! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 You go girl! I would have done the same thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Kudos to you! It must have made your daughter feel great to know that you were sticking up for her. Good job momma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 a sign on the door leading to the treatment area that said, "Only patients allowed in treatment area." I asked about it. They said I could go back today, but when she's a patient she'd have to go alone. That's standard practice here. I live in a a small city (<30,000) and every dentist and orthodontist in the area has that policy. Parents can go in on the first visit and that's it. I hope you can find someone who is more lenient. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I started calling around and have already found a new orthodontist to try. I spoke with the receptionist on the phone before making the appointment. She said they prefer the parents to stay with the child. I asked about my other kids coming to appointments because I don't normally have child care and she said that they have a small area with toys that the boys could play in where the receptionists can keep an eye on them, or they could all come back with me. They also have no worries about my infant contaminating their treatment area. We discussed other things and have a consultation next week. Yeah, I am so happy you found one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 (edited) Good for you JoAnn ~ I wish more people would walk out! I'm afraid many moms are intimidated by policies like that and just meekly go along with it, because they don't want to be "difficult" or "make a scene." I would never go to a dentist or orthodontist who didn't let me be there with my kids. Our pediatric dentist and DD's orthodontist both have extra chairs in the treatment areas for parents & siblings. And when DD was 2, she had dental surgery under general anesthesia in a hospital; they let me carry her into the operating room and wait until she was unconscious, and I was holding her in a rocking chair in the recovery room when she came to. I made sure that would be allowed before I agreed to the surgery. Traumatizing children just because it might be slightly less hassle for medical personnel is just not justified, IMO. Jackie Edited March 23, 2010 by Corraleno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Good for you Mom! You did the right thing. Now if enough parents would do this dentists would have to change their policies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammaruss Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 :grouphug: Proud of you Mamma!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Our dentist and ortho both allow parents to go back with their children. In fact, they expect it. We did consultations with several orthos and all expected me to go back with my dd. The ortho we decided on generally has just one patient at a time in the back and there's plenty of room for me to be back there with my dd. My dd is much happier having me back there with her. My oldest would be fine without me. My middle probably would be as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Hurray for you! :party: You did the right thing! My son is nearly 17 and I still go back with him at every visit. There's simply no need for a Mom to have to surrender her child to someone else simply because they're wearing scrubs or a white coat. Not. Gonna. Happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 :thumbup1: You did the right thing. Our ortho lets us back in the treatment area so they are out there. Just keep looking. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Good for you!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Oh man! The orthodontist? That's incredible! Our orthodontists are set up with about 9 chairs in one big room. Everyone is in there! :) The orthodontist just moves from chair to chair around the room, and the assistants do the same. It's quite organized, and I think it helps my kids to see that they're not the only ones with wires sticking out of their mouths. The orthodontists don't have any problem with me standing right there, watching what they're doing, and asking questions. My dd's ortho teases me that I'll know enough by the time my kids are finished to open my own practice! I hope your next appointment, with the second orthodontist, goes better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Yes!!!! The more who do this, the more they'll be forced to change the "policy"! :D I hope you find a fabulous orthodontist who cares enough about their patients to listen to them, and their mothers who know them so well. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 GOOD mommy!!! :hurray::hurray::hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Way to go!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldGirl Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Good for you standing up for your daughter and your rights as a parent! More people should do this and not back down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I've been to your blog, and that baby is NOT a contamination! She is so stinking cute, I'd like to squeeze her cheeks. :D What a doll. The fact that you know your oldest daughter and have dealt with her fears* means you know what she can and can't handle. You did the right thing to leave. Hope you find another orthodontist, one with a more family-friendly policy. :grouphug: *Note to Everyone -- go to Joanne's blog and see Mika's swimming success photos. That's an eye-opener on working through the hard stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 I've been to your blog, and that baby is NOT a contamination! She is so stinking cute, I'd like to squeeze her cheeks. :D What a doll. The fact that you know your oldest daughter and have dealt with her fears* means you know what she can and can't handle. You did the right thing to leave. Hope you find another orthodontist, one with a more family-friendly policy. :grouphug: *Note to Everyone -- go to Joanne's blog and see Mika's swimming success photos. That's an eye-opener on working through the hard stuff. Thanks! I just uploaded the newest photo of Madelynn to my left sidebar. It's a close up of her face. We've been working on Mika's fear of water for about 8 years. It's been a long road, and we aren't done yet. She has other fears and sensitivities we are working through also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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