S/O: Is it the cultural norm to send kids to preschool at two and three now?

[katemary63]

Everyone I know does "Mother's Day Out" at least twice a week starting even before age 2. Literally everyone - Christian moms too, working moms, stay at home moms - everyone. It is just the way it's done here in AR.

 

( Especially the lower income - AR pays for EVERYTHING if your a low income single mom.)

 

I didn't send my kids to preschool. Didn't know why I should pay for that.

[SeekingSimplicity]

Around here, only children with a certain degree of learning disabilities qualify for 4 y/o preschool (at the public school). No one is very pushy about it if you don't have your kids in some.... I guess because there's just not anything here.

I was at the health dept a few months ago and a guy there was recruiting for Head Start, he was a little pushy. He kept asking, I kept saying no- because I couldn't see putting my then 3 yo who doesn't like to be away from me on a bus all by himself and sending him away for the day. Finally he asked oh why not? I said because I homeschool my children and don't want to send any of them to a school. He looked startled then said oh and walked off.

 

When my middle child was 4 I took her to Wal-Mart one day. We were in the bathroom when a woman with a northern accent came in and asked dd why she was not in school. I said because she's 4. The woman said, "I know. Shouldn't she be in school?" Uh. No, she's only 4. We talked about it for a minute and I explained we don't have preschool here. She said where she's from kids have to start school at 3 because they want them reading already when they start K.

[Paintedlady]

I think it's pretty normal in our culture, but it's not a way of thinking I ever ascribed to. I actually find the practice of shipping off toddlers to "school" to be kind of sad.

[LibraryLover]

I read on the internet that if you watch a Barney episode backwards, he sings "God is dead, man".

 

 

[quote=Katia;1373302

 

 

They need to learn they are not special.

 

.

[NorthwestMom]

Um, what?

:lol:

 

 

Yes, I'm finding many of these comment judgmental. How terrible to send these little ones off to a place to play a few mornings a week!

[Perry]

I think it's pretty normal in our culture, but it's not a way of thinking I ever ascribed to. I actually find the practice of shipping off toddlers to "school" to be kind of sad.

I never felt like I was "shipping" anyone off, and I find that a little insulting.

 

Preschool was loads of fun for my kids. They made friends, they did crafts, they learned about different cultures and music and art and animals. My dd knew more about the Impressionists at age 5 than I do as an adult, and that knowledge and love of art history has stayed with her. They have great memories of preschool, and go visit their old teachers every couple years.

 

Of course it wasn't necessary, and I'm sure they'd be perfectly fine if they hadn't gone. But I believe it enriched their lives, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

[KidsHappen]

I have no problem with people chosing to put their child in preschool but it alarms me that is seems to have become socially expected. Now days, it seems like not sending your child to preschool is almost as radical as homeschooling was 15 years ago. That surprises me and I do wonder how long it will be before people will expect us to ship them off somewhere as soon as they are born.

[momtoboys]

It is very common where we live, but we are in a "upper middle class" suburban area, and the preschools are very nice (higher class. . lots of hands on learning. . etc). Most moms either work and have their child in daycare or they stay home, and their children start preschool 2-3 mornings or afternoons a week, typically around age 3. The stay-at-home moms are still *highly* involved w/ their children. Almost all K's here (public and private) are only half-day.

 

I don't really have a problem w/ preschool. . it's a personal choice. I think all day every day is a bit much, but a couple of hours a few mornings a week doesn't bother me at all!

[Guest Katia]

I read on the internet that if you watch a Barney episode backwards, he sings "God is dead, man".

 

:confused: Could you explain what you mean here? What does this have to do with what a preschool director and teachers told me? :confused:

[BikeBookBread]

I get questioned often when we are out and about during the day with my 5 and 3 year old if "school is off" today...I say no, they look puzzled, and then I add, "but we homeschool" and then they seem "satisfied" -- preschool, pre-k and kinder attendance beginning at age 3 are definitely socially expected here.

[melissel]

Apparently so. I too have gotten the "why aren't you in school" starting when my kids were still in diapers.

 

I can't believe people say that about little kids! I mean, most preschools are half-day and/or only a few days a week. Even here in suburban NJ, no one has ever said that to me, even about my DD who is obviously school age! Are people being impossibly nosy, or can they just not think of anything more creative to chat about?

[Word Nerd]

I can't believe people say that about little kids! I mean, most preschools are half-day and/or only a few days a week. Even here in suburban NJ, no one has ever said that to me, even about my DD who is obviously school age! Are people being impossibly nosy, or can they just not think of anything more creative to chat about?

 

I'm surprised by those comments too. My oldest is 8 and we've still never been questioned about why she isn't in school.

[bkpan]

The church across the street from our house has a preschool. The requirements are 3yo and potty trained.

 

The 3yo class is two hours, two days a week (Tues/Thurs). There is morning class and an afternoon class (different students).

 

The 4yo class is two hours, three days a week (Mon/Wed/Fri). There is also a morning and afternoon class.

 

Their academic program is excellent and the kids learn a lot. They read stories, sing songs, do finger-plays, crafts, weather/calender, go on field trips, etc. Their goal is to have the kids academically ready for ps K when they are 5yo.

 

However, the academics are not their main goal, interestingly enough. The main reason preschools exist, according to the director and teachers that I have talked with, is to indoctrinate the children into the mindset and behaviors expected in the public school setting. Because the children have to learn that they are not the center of the universe. They need to learn that their mother/father/grandparents will not always be there for them. They need to learn that they are not more important than any other child in the class. They need to learn that an adult will not always be there to take care of their needs, whether emotional or physical, because adults are often busy with other children. They need to learn to shut up and sit down. And follow all directions the adults in charge give them without questions. They need to learn they are not special.

 

And, I was told, since these are not normal or natural expectations, they need to be taught, and preferably over a period of several years (hence preschool). The K teachers expect the children coming into K to have all of these mindsets and behaviors down-pat. That is the mark of a "good" preschool, says my K teacher acquaintances.

 

So, there you have it directly from the horse's mouth, so to speak. And, I suppose that if one wants to send their dc to the ps, these would be important lessons to have your dc learn. Well.

 

Um, I think that I would pick a different preschool :lol::lol::lol:!!

 

Seriously, not all preschools are equal. Really.

[bkpan]

Sigh. And the mommy wars continue...:sad:

 

Really, other mommies who raise their dc in totally different ways, CAN end up with healthy, happy, and yes, really loved kids.

[mohop]

I've known parents of a one-year-old child who stressed out because they worried their child wasn't getting adequate educational and social opportunities because he wasn't in daycare.

[Guest Katia]

Um, I think that I would pick a different preschool :lol::lol::lol:!!

 

Seriously, not all preschools are equal. Really.

 

Great observation! We have not always lived here, thank goodness. When my oldest dd was preschool age (4yo), she went to a wonderful church preschool and had a great time; made lots of friends; learned a lot both academically and how to behave in group settings....the whole shebang. But, this dd is now 20yo, so I suppose that makes a difference as well.

 

However, we now live in a very, very small town and this preschool is one of the best, most sought-after, has a long waiting list type of place. This is what is taught here and now, and what parents sign their babies up for when they are newborns so that they will have a reserved spot.

 

I think the kids here learn a lot. I think they have a good time. I love to watch them come to preschool during Halloween in their cute little costumes. If I had little ones and needed to send them to preschool, this is where I would choose. I'm not against preschool in any way.

 

However, that does not negate the fact of what the director and teachers feel is the most important reason to send children to preschool and what they, as teachers, most hope to accomplish; nor does it negate that ps K teachers are now looking for children coming into the system to have already learned certain behaviors ahead of time.

[Stacy in NJ]

"School" was from 9 am to 11:30 three days per week. Ours was a local church preschool. Both my guys thoroughly enjoyed it, and I found it a great break during the days.

 

I would do it again in a heart beat.

 

That said, I don't at all think it's necessary. Just something fun they can do if circumstances allow.

[Spy Car]

 

However, that does not negate the fact of what the director and teachers feel is the most important reason to send children to preschool and what they, as teachers, most hope to accomplish; nor does it negate that ps K teachers are now looking for children coming into the system to have already learned certain behaviors ahead of time.

 

I'd don't think you are entirely wrong here. But the facts are that children who attend school are expected to sit through "rug time" while a story is read, and to follow directions, and to behave well in a school situation.

 

Children who have attended pre-school tend to be much better prepared for school in terms of class-room behavior than those who have not. In my son's case it was especially valuable, because despite being a sweet-natured, happy and bright child, he did need to learn to be able to sit with a bunch of kids and to give a teacher his full attention and to learn to resist "the wiggles."

 

This year (Kindergarten) I've had many parents who work in the class (as well as the teacher) commend my son as a "model student." That's partially a result of maturity, but (I'm convinced) also a result of "practice" gained in pre-school.

 

So I don't see anything wrong with gently easing them into meeting expectations of class-room behavior. It's quite a positive to my way of thinking.

 

Bill

[MBM]

resist "the wiggles."

 

:D That's going to become my new mantra for my 12-year-old son.

[courtney.byrum]

My son attended a co-op nursery school when he was 3 and 4, and it was a wonderful experience for him. And a far cry from "day care."

 

Being a co-op, my wife was highly involved (me too, to a far-lesser extent). It was probably more "work" than keeping him home, but he had a rich experience. It was a "developmental" rather than "academic" pre-school (which doesn't mean they didn't learn anything) and their days were full of interesting and enjoyable activities.

 

And he made many friends (ones he's retained) and we built a network of parents who continue to look out for one another.

 

So our experience was highly (highly) positive.

 

Bill

 

 

That sounds a lot like the preschool my children went to - DS at 3 and 4, DD at 3 (though she did get to 'tag along' when she was 2)

 

DD is no longer in preschool as I can't find one that is similar where we are now. I don't want her in an 'academic' preschool and I don't want her in daycare either, and that seem to be the only choices here.

[Chris in VA]

I agree with you, Spy Car, that learning what is expected in a classroom as far as listening and such really isn't a bad idea. I think the teacher in the preschool who was talking about kids learning they aren't the center of the universe was probably talking about kids that are spoiled rotten, haven't got boundaries at home, and expect everyone to do what they want (which can happen if they have only played with Mom or Dad at home). But it's a stereotype of the same kind as "daycare kid." You know, the one who grabs toys, says mean things, steals lunch money--oh wait, that comes a few years later...

 

I do think many places around the country see preschool as necessary, and I don't think it is. I taught for 12 years, and, while I always tried to inform the parents about stages of development (what to look for in writing, art, social skills, etc), I also constantly told them that the home environment was the most important place of learning for their child, and that they were the most important teachers. When I could pass along a great booklist, or send home the Math Suitcase or the Classroom Pet Journal just to show parents some things to do beyond parking their kid in front of the TV and drilling them on letters, I always felt better about everything. I told them I was an expert on preschool curricula, but they were the experts on their child, and that I appreciated anything and everything they could share with me re their child, so that I could find a good match in activities and approaches. We were a team, but we were not equal--and I think they felt that respect and gave it back to me.

 

I now look after a 1 year old darling girl--and you know what her mom said the other day? "I really want to go to coffee with you so I can pick your brain about preschool!"

She doesn't know what she's in for...lol

[FairProspects]

I'd don't think you are entirely wrong here. But the facts are that children who attend school are expected to sit through "rug time" while a story is read, and to follow directions, and to behave well in a school situation.

 

Children who have attended pre-school tend to be much better prepared for school in terms of class-room behavior than those who have not. In my son's case it was especially valuable, because despite being a sweet-natured, happy and bright child, he did need to learn to be able to sit with a bunch of kids and to give a teacher his full attention and to learn to resist "the wiggles."

 

This year (Kindergarten) I've had many parents who work in the class (as well as the teacher) commend my son as a "model student." That's partially a result of maturity, but (I'm convinced) also a result of "practice" gained in pre-school.

 

So I don't see anything wrong with gently easing them into meeting expectations of class-room behavior. It's quite a positive to my way of thinking.

 

Bill

 

Yes, but some kids also just *can't* handle it due to immaturity or other reasons. My son attended an academic preschool at age 3, partly due to the fact that it is social convention around here, and partly because I had just had a baby, and he is still scarred from circle time there. We were eventually asked to leave the school, because he wouldn't sit still for their hour long circle/memorization time. To this day, he melts down and cries if we are at the library or another activity that announces "circle time" due to the stress of his first experience.

 

Preschool may work as a gentle intro for kids who are ready for it, but I definitely do not think preschool is for all kids. Some just need more time to mature before they can be expected to sit still and follow the rules of school. My son can sit and do lessons for a reasonable amount of time now (15-20 min, longer if he gets interested) at nearly 5.5, but there is no way he would have been capable of that at 3, 4 or even really 6 months ago.

[Guest Katia]

 

So I don't see anything wrong with gently easing them into meeting expectations of class-room behavior. It's quite a positive to my way of thinking.

 

Bill

 

I absolutely agree. Did you read my post (a few back in this thread) about my niece and her dd's problems in ps K this year? She certainly could have used the preschool training to ease her transition into K. It was much, much harder for her not having had this training.

 

The point of my first post, was that academics are not the main focus of the preschool in our town, but secondary to teaching classroom behavior and ps mindset. That doesn't make it a bad thing. It's just the way it is.

 

Also, our preschool does not accept anyone younger than 3yo, but they will take up to 5yo if they turn 5 after the school year begins.

[Guest Katia]

Yes, but some kids also just *can't* handle it due to immaturity or other reasons.

 

Preschool may work as a gentle intro for kids who are ready for it, but I definitely do not think preschool is for all kids. Some just need more time to mature before they can be expected to sit still and follow the rules of school.

 

I agree with this as well. That is why I think preschool should be left up to each individual parent's discretion and not mandated by law, or social convention.

 

While my oldest dd attended preschool with no problems and loved it, my ds only made it through 3 weeks before refusing to go back. Can you say total meltdown? The preschool was actually relieved that he wasn't coming back, as he was always off by himself and wouldn't participate in any group activity. Certainly would have been nice if they would have shared that with *us*, his parents, before we pulled him out. Sheesh.

 

With the knowledge I have now, and my son with sensory issues, and I suspect he was also an Aspie, he shouldn't have been in preschool at 3yo anyhow. Hindsight......Ah, well. He's ok now at 25yo even with quitting preschool.

 

And my youngest dd didn't attend preschool at all. She was my hip-attachment and didn't even talk with real words until she was 4yo. When she was 7yo she used to watch the preschool across the street and wish she could go there, too, but by then she was....um....just a bit too old, LOL.

 

I say whatever works for each child in the family, as each kid is different. I hate that everyone just 'expects' all kids to do the same thing.

[lionfamily1999]

Yes, but some kids also just *can't* handle it due to immaturity or other reasons. My son attended an academic preschool at age 3, partly due to the fact that it is social convention around here, and partly because I had just had a baby, and he is still scarred from circle time there. We were eventually asked to leave the school, because he wouldn't sit still for their hour long circle/memorization time. To this day, he melts down and cries if we are at the library or another activity that announces "circle time" due to the stress of his first experience.

 

Preschool may work as a gentle intro for kids who are ready for it, but I definitely do not think preschool is for all kids. Some just need more time to mature before they can be expected to sit still and follow the rules of school. My son can sit and do lessons for a reasonable amount of time now (15-20 min, longer if he gets interested) at nearly 5.5, but there is no way he would have been capable of that at 3, 4 or even really 6 months ago.

Ds had problems with pre-k. He loved the teacher, but he's a very quiet, very shy child. His issues came when he was expected to 'act silly.' He doesn't like dancing or pretending. It's taken a year of hs to get him out of his shell after forced performances and then bad 'grades' from refusing :(

 

I don't think some kids are cut out for institutionalized settings period.

[stripe]

I think it's important for kids to do interesting things. For some kids, their parents and other caregivers address that issue -- they read, play, and explore. Other kids simply don't have that. So I can't say that all programs for kids are evil. There are people who are simply not educated, who have no access to educational material or art supplies or anything of the sort, and may not be able to read themselves, and they are not equipped to teach their children at home. I have a little niece who attends a nursery school program (in another country) that seems to mostly consist of playing games and singing songs, and is only for a few hours a day. I don't think this is "threatening."

[Caribbean Queen]

So I don't see anything wrong with gently easing them into meeting expectations of class-room behavior. It's quite a positive to my way of thinking.

 

Bill

 

That used to be what Kindergarten was for.

 

My neighbor told me he needed his two year old in "school" so she would be ready for Kindergarten. :glare: Around here preschool is 50 hours a week. Once a child is two, it isn't called day care anymore, it's preschool.

[AngieC]

Around here preschool is 50 hours a week. Once a child is two, it isn't called day care anymore, it's preschool.

 

Just because they change the name, doesn't mean that's what it really is! I will never understand parents that call their daycare "school."

 

My daughter did 3 & 4 year old preschool and it was 2 & 3 days/week for 2.5 hours. They sang songs, read books, did crafts and put on programs for the parents. The academic portion of the program consisted of letters, numbers, shapes and colors. My reason for sending her there was to give her a set time to interact with other kids her age. She loved it and never complained about going -- if she had, I would never have made her go.

[Caribbean Queen]

Just because they change the name, doesn't mean that's what it really is! I will never understand parents that call their daycare "school."

 

My daughter did 3 & 4 year old preschool and it was 2 & 3 days/week for 2.5 hours.

 

 

Ah, we have no preschools with hours like that here. None. I wonder if we are all thinking of the same thing when we are talking about preschool.

[Melissa in Australia]

I went to kindergarten when I was 3. that was over 30 years ago. I also started primary school at 4 1/2. it really isn't anything new.

[smrtmama]

This blows me away. Even if I didn't homeschool, my kids certainly wouldn't be going until they were legally mandated to do so.

 

My three year old goes to preschool three days a week, for a handful of hours a day. He loves it! He's do independent and he just likes to go, go, go. We also have a dearth of children in our neighborhood, so he really enjoys being in his class full of 9 boys. I think he'll be sad when we stop sending him in order to start homeschool.

[6packofun]

This blows me away. Even if I didn't homeschool, my kids certainly wouldn't be going until they were legally mandated to do so.

 

Then you certainly wouldn't be the cultural norm. LOL A whole lotta folks have someone else spending more time with their children during the week, preschool or not.

[KidsHappen]

Then you certainly wouldn't be the cultural norm. LOL A whole lotta folks have someone else spending more time with their children during the week, preschool or not.

 

:lol: I guess not. Not sure why I am surprised though, I have never exactly been the cultural norm. That just seems so young to me. My last two were still nursing and in diapers at two and three. They were still just babies. Heck, to me they were still babies at five and six. I have just recently come to an understanding with my 10 year old that she is a big girl now and not a little kid anymore. :001_huh:

[QueenCat]

Preschool and daycare are two different things. When mine went to preschool, the most they were gone was 9 hours a WEEK! 3 hours a day, 3 times a week, when they were 4. That is hardly having someone else spending more time with my kids. Daycare is a whole different story, as are many public school preschools but you can't compare them to a few hours a week in a church run preschool.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We live near a park that borders a higher class neighborhood. I no longer assume that the "moms" I meet are actually the moms. All of them are nanny or au pairs. And there are never any children over age 3 at certain times of the day.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think it is becoming the norm for 2 and 3 year olds to go to preschool. I don't think 2 year olds should go anywhere by themselves, but some 3 year olds are definitely ready for some activity time away from mom. I sent my kids to preschool, not because I needed daycare, but because I thought it might be helpful for them to meet other kids and make some friends. None of my friends from high school or college that still live in my area have kids. None of the people I worked with prior to having kids, had little kids. I don't go to a church or temple regularly. I knew no one with whom to even set up a playdate. My kids loved preschool. They learned lots of songs, did science experiments, played with new and different things, learned new games, and made friends that they still want to see. Best of all, I met a whole bunch of great moms and have a set of friends I can rely on to help out in times of need. We trade off babysitting, make dinners when someone has a baby, etc. Preschool was the best thing I could have done for our family. It was a totally different environment than what my kids are subjected to in public school, which is why I wish I could homeschool full time. I wish my kids could still get the stimulation and interaction with the world that they had in preschool.

[lionfamily1999]

Preschool and daycare are two different things. When mine went to preschool, the most they were gone was 9 hours a WEEK! 3 hours a day, 3 times a week, when they were 4. That is hardly having someone else spending more time with my kids. Daycare is a whole different story, as are many public school preschools but you can't compare them to a few hours a week in a church run preschool.

Older ds went to pre-k and it was the regular full-time schedule. I was shocked. I thought he'd do half-days, but they said it made it too difficult on the parents :001_huh:

[QueenCat]

Older ds went to pre-k and it was the regular full-time schedule. I was shocked. I thought he'd do half-days, but they said it made it too difficult on the parents :001_huh:

 

Where we used to live pre-k referred to the public option for 4 year olds, and was all day. Preschool referred to private options, for ages 2, 3, or 4. Could be 5 if the birthday was after the cut off.

[Daisy]

I don't think you could even figure that out in our town. I think most children are in daycare ASAP.

 

I don't know too many parents who put their children into preschool just because they want to prepare the child for school or want to provide socialization. Most parents in our area are going that route as a form of daycare while they are at work.

 

But yes, I have ticked off more than one person by being vocally against universal preschool.

[lionfamily1999]

Where we used to live pre-k referred to the public option for 4 year olds, and was all day. Preschool referred to private options, for ages 2, 3, or 4. Could be 5 if the birthday was after the cut off.

Here they start at three. Or at least, they did four years ago, who knows they might be picking the kids up from the hospital nursery at this point :p

I don't think you could even figure that out in our town. I think most children are in daycare ASAP.

 

I don't know too many parents who put their children into preschool just because they want to prepare the child for school or want to provide socialization. Most parents in our area are going that route as a form of daycare while they are at work.

 

But yes, I have ticked off more than one person by being vocally against universal preschool.

I put ds in pre-k (which I think may be different than preschool), because he 'needed socialization' according to the guidance counselor at the elementary school. I think as far as head start or pre-k go around here, it's used mostly because it's free day care.

[AnitaMcC]

This blows me away. Even if I didn't homeschool, my kids certainly wouldn't be going until they were legally mandated to do so.

 

I don't know about it being a cultural norm...

 

But all four of our kids attended preschool... various reasons based on family/their needs.

 

Ds#1 and Dd attended preschool when I was in college classes when they were 2-3 yrs old. They also attended a park district preschool program for two days a week for a few hours each day the year before they started kindergarten. This was to give me a small breather as Ds#2 was born a month before the twins were 4yrs old (spring babies) and he is a very demanding/energetic child (running at 9 months old!!!). Also, it gave the twins opportunity to be around other kids to help minimize them from being too dependent upon each other as twins.

 

Ds#2 attended public school preschool program for two years before starting kindergarten. By this time Ds#3 was a year old and he needed a lot of physical/speech therapy sessions and doctor appointments. Scheduling those while Ds#2 was in preschool made it easier (Ds#2 still rarely slows down even in his sleep-LOL).

 

Ds#3 attended public school preschool special education program for two years before kindergarten.

[jenL]

I am anti mandated preschool as I believe we should not force ALL young children to attend a school setting even if it's considered "preschool". Developmentally, it's not right for every child, and it should be a parent's choice.

 

However, I am one of those moms who sent her eldest to preschool at age 3 because I thought that would be appropriate. He went again at 4, and he struggled because the teacher was SO strict. His spirit was nearly crushed, but I wanted him "prepared" for school. At that time, homeschooling was not even on our radar. His negative preschool experience at 4 prompted us to decide to homeschool.

 

As for my second, he attends a Christian preschool at a church 4 minutes away from here. He started at 2.5, and he LOVES it. We decided to send him the 2 days a week for 4 hours to give me a break in order to homeschool our oldest. My youngest is very busy, always on the go, extremely curious, and very social. For us, it was the wisest choice. Some may think he's too young, but for my family, this is the best option for Mommy's sanity and his brother's education. I know some mothers can handle bunches of kids and all their antics, but I am not one of them. I truly love my children and would do anything for them, yet I'm no good to either of them when I am overwhelmed and stressed. This little break 2 mornings a week helps me tremendously.

 

It's not up to anyone to judge the choices a family makes. Afterall, think of how upset we get when we are judged for making the choice to homeschool. Judging a family's choice to send their child to preschool is no different.

Edited December 16, 2009 by jenL

[AnitaMcC]

I can't believe people say that about little kids! I mean, most preschools are half-day and/or only a few days a week. Even here in suburban NJ, no one has ever said that to me, even about my DD who is obviously school age! Are people being impossibly nosy, or can they just not think of anything more creative to chat about?

 

 

I never had anyone asking me about my kids not being in school when they were young (and actually no one comments about my twins not being in high school now when we are out and about). In our area there are no full day preschool or kindergarten unless it is part of a daycare center. Kids don't start full day school until 1st grade in our school district.

[jillian]

I have people pushing about preschool and dd is turning 2 on sunday. my nephew goes to preschool and has been since august (he turned 2 in july)

[Hannah]

It's not up to anyone to judge the choices a family makes. Afterall, think of how upset we get when we are judged for making the choice to homeschool. Judging a family's choice to send their child to preschool is no different.

 

Well said!! :iagree:

For many children pre-school is a positive, fun experience. My younger dd has been in a "playschool" for 20 hours a week for the last 2 years. She loves it!!

[Renai]

I have a (former) friend that sent her children to preschool at 18 months, which is the earliest many places around here will take them.

She was a former preschool teacher and really felt that all children needed the social interaction and early education that preschool offered.

We are former friends because I don't agree with her. We tried to retain our friendship, but she was extremely pushy and outspoken about my child "needing" preschool. (Which is interesting because he is very social and was reading before age 4 - her kids? :tongue_smilie:) She could never accept that I wouldn't put DS into preschool, then when we decided to homeschool - it just drove a major wedge between us.

 

I can see possibly putting a child in preschool if Mom needed a break or if there wasn't other options for meeting families with young children. Otherwise, I don't get it.

 

Funny, I'm also an early childhood educator and encourage all the parents I can to keep their children home. It's mostly parallel play before age 3 anyway, and watching social cues. Whose cues do we want them watching? Other 1, 2, and 3 year olds :confused: ?

[La Condessa]

I've worked for a total of three and a half years at several daycare/preschools (names used interchangeably). I'm currently in the infant room (6 weeks to 18 months), but for most of that time I've been an "Early Preschool Teacher"-meaning twos.

 

And while there were many parents who enrolled their kids because they worked, or needed a break sometimes, I was shocked at the number of parents who were coming in because they had been convinced that their child needed preschool for their social and academic development. At the age of two. After all, they needed to get used to going to 'school', playing nicely with other kids, listening to the teacher, and not being with mommy all the time now, so that next year as three-year-olds they would be able to really focus on academic subjects like learning the alphabet. I heard this reasoning multiple times.

 

While I have no problem with parents who want to send their three-year-olds to preschool a few days a week, I think it's a terrible shame that parents are being fed these lies that their two-year-old babies need school or they will fail Kindergarten and beyond.

Edited December 16, 2009 by mmconde

[ElizabethB]

In my experience, it depends on the area...in the Northern Virginia area, I was asked more about why my daughter was not in preschool than I have ever been asked about why she's not in school!

 

Northern VA--the norm, most people send their kids, and many people were very pushy about how you must send your child to preschool, and wanted to make sure I knew what the best preschools were. I knew several people there who had camped out overnight to secure a preschool spot.

 

Alabama and Arkansas--many people send their kids, but don't get pushy about why you don't, and I never met anyone pushing the "right" preschools. Also, like Katemary63 said, there are commonly MDO (Mother's Day Out) programs in Alabama and Arkansas, so the starting age there was generally 2, but for some MDO programs, even earlier. The age for normal preschool everywhere I've lived is generally 3.

 

The Los Angeles area--many people send their kids, but people don't seem to push their preschool views on you. There are also, like the Northern VA area, the "best" preschools, but unlike Northern VA, no one is going on and on about them and trying to make sure you know that you should send your child.

[stripe]

And there are never any children over age 3 at certain times of the day.

 

Definitely the case in my area too, although I do see a couple of kids I know to be or assume are homeschooled as well as a group of about 4 Chinese/Chinese-American children who are usually holding hands and being led around to various activities by the same lady. It's very noticeable.

 

For a former neighbor of mine, it was a big boon to have her son old enough for preschool, as it cut the daycare bill. She started talking to me about preschool when my son was 18 mo or so. I kept insisting he was too young; she continued to look surprised.

 

ETA: Something else just came to me. I think there are sort of two camps of people who home school their kids, or at least one theme that people either agree with or not. Obviously many people are educating their children at home because they believe they can do as well or better than a school, but some people (and definitely not all) are particularly rejecting the idea of institutions and their children. They don't want their children "socialized." They don't want their children to learn to sit quietly on the rug during story time, line up neatly and quickly, and raise their hands when they need to go to the bathroom. They completely reject that. So these people tend to be disgusted by the idea of sending 2 year olds off to be transformed by "the system." Other people don't see the big deal, or want it for their children. I think those who object most vigorously to the institutional aspect of School (the concept), tend to be the most adamantly against sending small children off into its embrace.

Edited December 16, 2009 by stripe

[Jean in Newcastle]

ETA: Something else just came to me. I think there are sort of two camps of people who home school their kids, or at least one theme that people either agree with or not. Obviously many people are educating their children at home because they believe they can do as well or better than a school, but some people (and definitely not all) are particularly rejecting the idea of institutions and their children. They don't want their children "socialized." They don't want their children to learn to sit quietly on the rug during story time, line up neatly and quickly, and raise their hands when they need to go to the bathroom. They completely reject that. So these people tend to be disgusted by the idea of sending 2 year olds off to be transformed by "the system." Other people don't see the big deal, or want it for their children. I think those who object most vigorously to the institutional aspect of School (the concept), tend to be the most adamantly against sending small children off into its embrace.

 

Well, I'm definitely in the camp of people who believe that I can do better than a school - but that includes preschool too. My children do sit quietly on the rug at story time, line up neatly and quietly when it is warranted and raise their hand when they need to go to the bathroom. And yet I don't actually do "school at home" in a formal way. It's just that I believe that it is good manners to sit quietly during a story and to raise their hand when they need to interrupt (or to say "excuse me"). We only line up at public bathrooms but they knew how to do it at a young age.

 

I was a preschool teacher (both public special ed and private settings) and we spent most of our time trying to recreate a home setting. The story rug was "living room ish". We had a little kitchen area for the kids to play in. We had the sandbox and riding toys out in the yard area. Even the more academic things are common place in a homeschool family. How many times have you seen suggestions on the board to provide a basin of water or beans to practice pouring, to get out the chunky puzzles or chunky crayons, or the math manipulatives.