Polite Rant about SUGAR and Treats.....

[KarenNC]

Sort of o/t, but I'm hoping you'll see the connection. My dd and myself have terrible reactions to most topical things that are 'hypoallergenic.' I don't know how or why, but both of us with break out into an incredibly painful raised rash wherever the lotion or cleanser, for instance, has touched our skin.

 

It could be a reaction to the aloe used in many products---I have a friend who has this problem and it appears to be hereditary in her family. Makes it very awkward, as she can't use soap in public restrooms, has only a brand or two of diaper wipes she can use, sunscreen is an issue, accepting a tissue from someone else can be an issue, etc, etc. Odd, since most folks can use aloe to *soothe* skin irritations, but there you have it.

Edited October 23, 2009 by KarenNC

[Corraleno]

Seriously? What bile?

 

for example:

 

If your kids react to sugary things, it's because you've taught them to. There have been many studies on the effects of sugar--actually, on the fact that there are none....The fact that you want everyone else to accommodate your prejudices is beyond unreasonable.

 

I personally am the type who would have brought more sugar after reading your reply....I would have also made sure it had red dye in it and blue number whatever.

 

Your email was quite rude, and as someone else said...it probably would have made me want to bring a sugar-laden treat even more

 

I would be livid if I received this email from you. It's disrespectful at best, IMO. If there are any families dealing with food allergies who received this email I think you owe them an apology.

 

I'm guessing that you've created a significant relationship problem for yourself within this group and it would probably be wise to try to remedy it.... Your email can be read as "holier than thou" whether you intended it that way or not....Given the false statement and the rest, people are likely to take your "kind contributions" statements as insincere (which from your post, they sound like they are....)

 

I would probably think you sounded a bit irrational. Sugar isn't going to *kill* your child like peanuts can do to children who are allergic.

 

Some of the responses seemed unnecessarily hostile to me. People vent/rant here all the time, about their nasty MILS, crazy neighbors, difficult kids, and the responses are usually along the lines of "Wow, so sorry that happened to you :grouphug: "

 

The OP vented about something that annoyed her and got pages and pages of judgement regarding how she worded her email, whether she has any right to have the concerns she does, etc. I was shocked to see a post about sugar that ended up longer and more contentious than many threads about religion, evolution, vaccination, etc.

 

Jackie

Edited October 23, 2009 by Corraleno

[8circles]

Well, I can assure you that there was no bile in my response to her, since you used my response as an example. I didn't attack her in any way. She said something that is incorrect & that hurts the cause of so many whose children struggle with food allergies & are faced with people thinking that "it's just a preference" when it isn't. It was disrespectful for her to make that connection & it isn't 'bile' to point that out.

[Corraleno]

BTW, I think the tags on this thread are pathetic:

 

allergic to bad cookin'

pseudoscience

sucrose bashing

sugar czar

sugar pie honey bunch

 

Here's a research proposal: "Does overconsumption of junk food cause adults to act like adolescents?"

 

Jackie

[Oak Knoll Mom]

 

Thanks for linking this. My husband and I watched it last night.

[stripe]

BTW, I think the tags on this thread are pathetic:

 

allergic to bad cookin'

pseudoscience

sucrose bashing

sugar czar

sugar pie honey bunch

 

Here's a research proposal: "Does overconsumption of junk food cause adults to act like adolescents?"

 

Jackie

Why are they "pathetic"? Why about "sugar czar," "sucrose bashing" and "sugar pie honey bunch" does NOT reflect the fact that we're discussing sugar, which was the original question posed in the first post? They are an attempt to be humorous and reflect the fact that we're discussing sugar here, as is "allergic to bad cookin'," given the discussion of allergies and poor food choices people make. (And why wasn't "topic drift" identified as "pathetic"?)

 

I would characterize as "pathetic" something that actually contained insults or rude commentary. I don't find humor to be "pathetic" or adolescent. No one made analogies to bodily fluids or anything.

[Sahamamama]

:grouphug: No, you're NOT alone.

 

I have two children that are allergic/sensitive to red food dye. You cannot believe how many times people ignore it and bring cupcakes/cake with red icing!! Or Doritos -- they have red #40 in them.

 

Now, my kids won't whine/complain that they can't have something...they just politely decline the snack. But, it really burns me that people don't take it seriously...

 

Our friends' little daughter had this reaction to "blue juice" -- she would drink the juice at Children's Church (!) and then become uncharacteristically hyperactive/uncooperative the rest of the afternoon. Her parents usually put her down for a nap (and took one themselves), but not on Blue Juice Sundays! :ack2:

 

Her parents asked the teacher again and again and again, "Please, no blue juice for our daughter," but with no success. We have noticed this with our girls, also -- but usually our church serves water & crackers, animal crackers, or graham crackers for snack.

 

We are going to a party tomorrow afternoon at our church... and I was signed up for cupcakes! BUT, others are bringing crackers/cheese, fruit, a veggie tray, sandwiches, so there will be enough healthy stuff for everyone. We do have childrne with nut allergies, but I think ALL children should be limited on sugar intake (especially MINE)!

 

Hang in there, this too shall pass.

[Sahamamama]

Well, you aren't alone in not stuffing your kids with sugar, but if it were me, I would have simply offered the healthy food and left it at that. I wouldn't have make very pointed remarks about the sugar that would leave the other parents feeling like crap for having offered the sugary things. They probably were, in their thoughts at least, being nice by making the offer. So, they may have skimmed too quickly over the initial request's suggestions, but it was still nice to offer. Even if you didn't intend it that way, your email reply reads "snarky" to me. Reaming them over this just seems to be inappropriate to me. YMMV.

 

In a way, it might have been better to call the Choir Director privately and discuss this with her, without slamming the whole group with an email from out of the blue. Just a thought...

[Corraleno]

Why are they "pathetic"? Why about "sugar czar," "sucrose bashing" and "sugar pie honey bunch" does NOT reflect the fact that we're discussing sugar, which was the original question posed in the first post?

 

sucrose bashing

Definition of bashing: "the term is used to imply that a verbal or critical attack is unacceptable and predjudicial." So, tagging a thread with "sucrose bashing" implies that posters, like Bill & the OP, have an unacceptable, unfounded, and predjudicial attitude towards sucrose.

 

sugar czar

"Czar has been used as a metaphor for positions of high authority, with a connotation of dictatorial powers and style." Tagging this thread with sugar czar implies that people who would like to limit sugar are being unreasonable and dictatorial.

 

psuedoscience

Obviously implies that there is no scientific basis for the belief that sugar affects children, therefore those who post that their children are affected are delusional.

 

sugar pie honey bunch

Tagging the thread with this suggests that the thread is silly and pointless.

 

I appreciate humor as well as the next person, but adding tags that mock and belittle the attitudes of posters who chose to limit their children's sugar intake is, IMHO, juvenile. AND totally proves Bill's point that most people just don't take this issue seriously.

 

Jackie

Edited October 23, 2009 by Corraleno

[angela in ohio]

People vent/rant here all the time, about their nasty MILS, crazy neighbors, difficult kids, and the responses are usually along the lines of "Wow, so sorry that happened to you :grouphug: "

 

 

I disagree. Vents generally get a mixture of sympathy, practical advice, disagreement, etc. That is the risk you take when you vent on a message board; not everyone is going to agree with you. I didn't reply, because it was already covered, but I thought the reply email was uncharitable, although I thought a few of the replies to OP were, also. I would tell the same to a friend IRL who vented to me.

[Corraleno]

I have very close relatives who would undermine me on any & all sorts of issues the moment my child was out of sight. Many of those issues - if I mentioned them here would probably make you laugh but they were important to me.

 

One that was NOT funny was the issue of bottles when they were babies. Someone very close to me really wanted to teach the kids to accept a bottle. I was an adamant exclusive breastfeeding mom & no, I was NOT going to introduce a bottle of anything... And yet, this person told me flat out they would not honor this.

 

I had a similar issue with my MIL trying to give my son formula, and I think it's for the same reasons people try to sneak my kids junk food, tell them they can do things I do not allow them to do (like stay up till midnight watching extremely violent movies), etc.: they feel personally threatened that we do things differently.

 

My MIL bottle-fed her kids, and she got very agitated by any mention that breast-feeding is better for babies, because to her it implied that she wasn't as good a mother as me. I never said or implied this to her in any way, but because she felt insecure and threatened by the fact that I wanted my child to be exclusively breast-fed, she purposely tried to give him formula and watered-down baby cereal when he was an infant. She also tries to give my kids the kind of junk food she fed her own kids, and tells them we're "mean" for not letting them eat crap. That way she can feel like she was the good mom, and I'm the bad mom.

 

Many members of my own family do the same thing ~ and some of them have children who clearly have issues with sugar/chemicals/dyes, which they refuse to acknowledge. My sister's kids, who are both autistic spectrum, live on crap like Fruit Loops, Cheetos, Hawaiian Punch, and Skittles. I ask her and my BIL not to give my kids food like that, and they try to sneak it anyway, to prove that those kinds of food are really fine and have no effect. Because if they acknowledged that junkfood might actually have an effect on health and behavior, then they'd feel obligated to change their own eating habits, which they're too lazy and/or addicted to do, despite the fact that they are dealing with obesity (sister & niece), major health issues (BIL), and autism.

 

There is a woman we know who constantly shows up at group activities with packages of those giant cookies they sell at Walmart & Costco, covered in frosting and day-glo sprinkles. She's forever trying to convince my kids to "just try one, they're so yummy!" despite the fact that my kids always reply "no, but thank you for offering." Her entire family is overweight, her kids have dark circles under their eyes, constant runny noses, and the attention span of a flea, and she's still trying to push this crap on my kids. One day as we were leaving my son whispered "Geez, why does she keep trying to get us to eat that stuff? She's like the witch in Hansel and Gretel!"

 

Jackie

[lionfamily1999]

It could be a reaction to the aloe used in many products---I have a friend who has this problem and it appears to be hereditary in her family. Makes it very awkward, as she can't use soap in public restrooms, has only a brand or two of diaper wipes she can use, sunscreen is an issue, accepting a tissue from someone else can be an issue, etc, etc. Odd, since most folks can use aloe to *soothe* skin irritations, but there you have it.

We use aloe vera with no reaction, would that rule out aloe (I know that once things are put through a factory they change)?

 

We've never had this problem except for hypoallergenic and it is really bizarre. I've started bringing my own squirty bottle of soap (much better than having lit up hands).

[Sputterduck]

I'm saying that there is NO DIFFERENCE practically speaking between the sugar in fruit, in bread, in cereal, in honey, in corn syrup, in maple syrup, and in cane sugar.

 

If your pancreas is working right, you don't have a big fast swing in blood sugar that would cause ANY kind of noticeable "sugar reaction." (Diabetics and borderline diabetics are different, of course.) There is, however, a difference in the rate of digestion of different foods and how full they make you feel and for how long. Fat content is a biggie--bacon will be doughnuts, hands down, for feelings of satiation over time.

 

But yes, the sucrose scare is completely made up.

 

 

Could it be that some kids have pancreases that aren't working as well as they should? It sounds reasonable to me.

 

My pancreas doesn't react properly to sugar as a secondary issue to something else wrong in me. A ton of insulin gets released that leads to very low blood sugar. It sure doesn't make me hyper though, quite the opposite. It is genetic, and it could be that my son will have similar issues. I don't really know, though, because my son gets very little sugar. His enamel didn't form right, so sugar is out for him. He's been put out with general anesthesia once for his teeth, even though he was so young that I wasn't feeding him any sweets yet, and I won't have him put out again if I can help it. I would be pissed if someone gave my son sugar behind my back. I'm trying to save his teeth!

[Corraleno]

To follow up - yesterday afternoon and last night I received emails and phone calls from every family in choir with my children. EVERY SINGLE ONE of them (including the families who had volunteered to bring cupcakes and cookies) thanked me for putting myself out there and giving them cause to stop and think about the other kids in the choir. Particularly, one parent mentioned that as a parent who has a child with a 'peanut-allergy' (don't mean to offend with the quotes :D), she would now be particularly aware of other issues that families experience with food products. When I tried to apologize for equating my child's behavior issue with her child's physiological issue, she stopped me and said that certainly wasn't necessary.

 

 

I'm very glad to hear that the other families involved responded in a kind and thoughtful way, instead of jumping all over you. :001_smile:

 

Jackie

[KarenNC]

We use aloe vera with no reaction, would that rule out aloe (I know that once things are put through a factory they change)?

 

We've never had this problem except for hypoallergenic and it is really bizarre. I've started bringing my own squirty bottle of soap (much better than having lit up hands).

 

Sorry, don't know--I would think if you can handle straight aloe on your skin, it wouldn't be that one. The only thing I can suggest it to make a list of brands and specific products that have caused the reaction and those that have not and look at their ingredients to see if there is something specific that is common to all of the ones that cause reactions, especially something that *isn't* in the ones that don't. With sunscreens, a friend has a son who reacts negatively to a lot of the sunscreens, not when just applied but only after exposure to the sun---many work by causing a chemical change when exposed to sunlight and it is that chemical change that causes him problems.

 

There's evidently no real standardization or regulation on requirements for something to be labled "hypoallergenic," so there's no telling.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=57019

http://www.fda.gov/Cosmetics/CosmeticLabelingLabelClaims/LabelClaimsandExpirationDating/ucm2005203.htm

 

Good luck!

[lionfamily1999]

Sorry, don't know--I would think if you can handle straight aloe on your skin, it wouldn't be that one. The only thing I can suggest it to make a list of brands and specific products that have caused the reaction and those that have not and look at their ingredients to see if there is something specific that is common to all of the ones that cause reactions, especially something that *isn't* in the ones that don't. With sunscreens, a friend has a son who reacts negatively to a lot of the sunscreens, not when just applied but only after exposure to the sun---many work by causing a chemical change when exposed to sunlight and it is that chemical change that causes him problems.

 

There's evidently no real standardization or regulation on requirements for something to be labled "hypoallergenic," so there's no telling.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=57019

http://www.fda.gov/Cosmetics/CosmeticLabelingLabelClaims/LabelClaimsandExpirationDating/ucm2005203.htm

 

Good luck!

We just avoid the label. It's a very painful and unsightly reaction, iow, I'm too chicken to test around and see if I can find a specific thing.

 

My only other adverse reactions are with bleach and morphine. Dd is sensitive to bleach as well, but of course we don't know about morphine for her.

[inactive]

for example:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some of the responses seemed unnecessarily hostile to me. People vent/rant here all the time, about their nasty MILS, crazy neighbors, difficult kids, and the responses are usually along the lines of "Wow, so sorry that happened to you :grouphug: "

 

The OP vented about something that annoyed her and got pages and pages of judgement regarding how she worded her email, whether she has any right to have the concerns she does, etc. I was shocked to see a post about sugar that ended up longer and more contentious than many threads about religion, evolution, vaccination, etc.

 

Jackie

 

:iagree:

[momto2Cs]

When we talk about dessert at our house, the kids know it is almost always fruit, and guess what?? They are happy about getting it, especially if it is a fruit they don't get that often!

 

Mine love fruit for dessert too, especially frozen berries and cherries. Sometimes they have some yogurt too (the all-natural kind, not the "kids" versions).

[Jazzy]

We are vegan. I take my own food everywhere we go, and the kids know that it is very likely that they will not be able to eat anything other than what we bring. (However, some people in the homeschool group have gone out of their way to bring or make vegan items, for which I am extremely appreciative.)

 

I have to say that the onus is on you. Most families don't mind if their kids have sugar at special occasions, so you're swimming against the tide. My opinion/advice is to accept the idea that you'll have to provide your own treats for things.

 

Btw, unless your children have an anaphylactic shock reaction to sugar, they do not react like kids with nut allergies.

 

Tara

 

:iagree:

 

My son is anaphylactic to peanuts (meaning death is a likely outcome), and will get sick if he even touches or smells them.

 

When I go places where everybody is bringing food, I make sure I bring something that is safe for him. If we are caught off guard, then he has no problem waiting for a treat and knows that I will get him something later. His brother and sister will usually choose on their own not to eat in order to be supportive of him.

 

I am always thankful when moms go out of their way to make things safe for my son, but I do not expect it, nor do I ask for it. It's my responsibility.

[Impish]

This makes me very sad...I just hope that your child/children never develop an allergy and someone cops the same attitude you have exhibited...

:001_huh: I didn't see attitude. I saw a response that is tired of catering to other people's preferences for their children. Allergies are not a preference. Even still, it can be an incredibly daunting task to find something that will be acceptable to dairy, soy, nut, etc allergies.

I'm sorry if it makes you sad. It makes ME sad that some parents expect others to keep track of every child's food needs, and then even when people TRY to accomodate them, (and oh how I have tried many times!) they will complain.

 

I do not expect others to take MY child's food issues into consideration, and I do not complain about food at events. Instead, I educate my child on what can and cannot be eaten.

 

I don't ask others to parent my kid. I'm not your kid's mother. I expect YOU to do that job thankyouverymuch. (generic "you" intended)

Bingo. Everyone bring their own 'snacks' when required, avoid anything that could set off an airborne allergy attack ie nuts, and call it a day.

 

Sensitivities are not the same as an allergy. Give you an example, although its a bit out there.

 

I have RSD. This means that my right arm, shoulder through finger tips are extremely sensitive...the nerves misinterpret any and all stimulus as being pain...and constantly scream (even without any outside stimulation) that my arm is severely injured.

 

When first diagnosed, I was explaining this to a (former) coworker. Her response? To GRAB MY HAND AND SQUEEZE. I was just about on the floor...and that was the LOWEST my pain level was at for hours after.

 

My RSD is a sensitivity. Its not going to send me to the hospital via ambulance for life saving measures...although the next person that pulls a stunt like that...well, it *might* be a life threatening issue, (esp if my dh is witness to it) just not my life. :tongue_smilie:

 

(And yes, I know being in constant chronic pain shortens life span, and I am at greater risk for heart attack, stroke, etc...I'm just saying an idiot grabbing my hand isn't going to kill me the same way a peanut ana allergy would)

[GnomeyNewt]

We belonged to a pre-school co-op where the parents brought snacks 2 times a month... as the months went on the snacks got worse and worse... We came back the next year... AND I could not believe the parents were bringing in gummie bears! I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't working that day. I was really shocked and we eventually switched shortly thereafter, especially since they started giving out lollipops to the kids before we would pick them up. That is just one of the problems with the school, even though the year before was great (or maybe I just didn't know everything that was going on).

 

My kids react to highly processed sugars (HFCS and aspartame) and red dye #40 also. It is hard to find others that try to avoid those things in real life, expect I find a lot of parents on the Internet that do. I have just accepted that people don't think about it and how it will affect them or their parents. I find it harder when your own family members don't understand the concept either.

 

On a side note, my DS is actually allergic to 90% of fruits and veggies, confirmed through lab tests. He does not have ananaphylactic reaction to anything, but his bowels and rashes do occur from the food that he is allergic too. Our Naturopath hopes that he will out grown these reactions if we avoid those foods for now, so we are hoping this will not affect him long term!

[Corraleno]

I am always thankful when moms go out of their way to make things safe for my son, but I do not expect it, nor do I ask for it. It's my responsibility.

 

I understand why people say this, and given the number of clueless and even thoughtless people in the world, it may be a life-or-death neccessity to take that attitude. But it makes me really sad to think that people are afraid to ask others for a little consideration ~ especially when a chld's health is at stake. :sad:

 

Before I read this thread, I would have said "Surely most parents would want to bring a food that everyone could eat, so no child would feel deprived or left out." When my kids were in school I always made sure to bring a healthy birthday snack that everyone could eat, including kids with allergies or intolerances ~ it's really not that hard. The idea that some people would rather certain kids feel left out than make even a tiny bit of extra effort, or spend an extra dollar or two, makes me: :confused:

 

I just don't understand the attitude of "Well if your child can't eat the gooey pink cupcakes I'm bringing that WE like, then tough luck for your kid. It's your responsibility to bring something they can eat, and if they feel bad about eating celery while everyone else eats pink cupcakes, well then they need to learn that sometimes life sucks." Do they need to learn it at 5? Really?

 

It seems like the right to do whatever you want, and not have to modify your behavior for anyone else (not even a small child with health issues) is the prevailing approach to all social interaction these days. And I find that really sad.

 

Jackie

[mom2abcd]

Yes, I think the pendulum has swung the other way. I've only been at this "parenting-thing" twenty years, but I never saw it where those who brought dessert were frowned upon. I tried over the years, but I gave up much faster than you did. My kids aren't as severely affected as yours, maybe.

 

It was nice of the choir director to try. Maybe you could suggest to her that she make a sign up sheet next time and one family takes an item....

 

-Cheese slices

-Crackers

-Grapes

-Apple slices

-Carrot sticks

-whatever

-Cookies

 

I'm the one always bringing the healthier option and many appreciate it. I bet some will appreciate your efforts, too.

[MariannNOVA]

No one here was upset after she apologized either. That doesn't mean it didn't offend the mom.

 

Jinnah: It is my turn to apologize again -- I think. I am unsure about whom you are speaking -- am I the 'mom' you mention in your second sentence? I'm unsure -- I am afraid that I wrote a rather nasty response to you, and for that I apologize -- I should not have resorted to the very type of behavior that caused me such turmoil. Please accept my apology if I have offended you in any way.

 

And, in case you were flaming me........well, I would have to say that we are all entitled to our opinion. I really have to walk away from this now. Mariann

Edited October 24, 2009 by MariannNOVA

[lionfamily1999]

I understand why people say this, and given the number of clueless and even thoughtless people in the world, it may be a life-or-death neccessity to take that attitude. But it makes me really sad to think that people are afraid to ask others for a little consideration ~ especially when a chld's health is at stake. :sad:

 

Before I read this thread, I would have said "Surely most parents would want to bring a food that everyone could eat, so no child would feel deprived or left out." When my kids were in school I always made sure to bring a healthy birthday snack that everyone could eat, including kids with allergies or intolerances ~ it's really not that hard. The idea that some people would rather certain kids feel left out than make even a tiny bit of extra effort, or spend an extra dollar or two, makes me: :confused:

 

I just don't understand the attitude of "Well if your child can't eat the gooey pink cupcakes I'm bringing that WE like, then tough luck for your kid. It's your responsibility to bring something they can eat, and if they feel bad about eating celery while everyone else eats pink cupcakes, well then they need to learn that sometimes life sucks." Do they need to learn it at 5? Really?

 

It seems like the right to do whatever you want, and not have to modify your behavior for anyone else (not even a small child with health issues) is the prevailing approach to all social interaction these days. And I find that really sad.

 

Jackie

Clueless and thoughtless go a little far. Perhaps they don't know that someone's child can't eat the food they're bringing, in that case, clueless seems a little harsh. As for thoughtless, they are bringing in treats to share. That's not thoughtless, it's generous, and ime what they bring IS very thoughtful.

 

Being rude, because someone did not bring something that fit the requirments of everyone involved is just as bad as bringing in extra sugar, because someone complained.

 

I'm glad that you bring healthy snacks, that's good, it's helpful, and you're being thoughtful. However, just because someone else brought in something you would not or could not eat, does not make their offering any less thoughtful, kind or generous.

[Erica in PA]

 

 

It seems like the right to do whatever you want, and not have to modify your behavior for anyone else (not even a small child with health issues) is the prevailing approach to all social interaction these days. And I find that really sad.

 

 

That's interesting, because I actually see it completely reversed... it seems to me that the prevailing view is to make everyone else feel good/comfortable/included, and give up your personal choices to do that.

[Blessedfamily]

I just don't understand the attitude of "Well if your child can't eat the gooey pink cupcakes I'm bringing that WE like, then tough luck for your kid. It's your responsibility to bring something they can eat, and if they feel bad about eating celery while everyone else eats pink cupcakes, well then they need to learn that sometimes life sucks." Do they need to learn it at 5? Really?

 

It seems like the right to do whatever you want, and not have to modify your behavior for anyone else (not even a small child with health issues) is the prevailing approach to all social interaction these days. And I find that really sad.

 

Jackie

 

 

That's interesting, because I actually see it completely reversed... it seems to me that the prevailing view is to make everyone else feel good/comfortable/included, and give up your personal choices to do that.

 

 

Truthfully, I see both of these attitudes- and with each camp being "shocked and appalled" at the other.

[TravelingChris]

I haven'[t read all the replies so this may have been said already. There have been a number of scientific studies whether sugar changes children's behavior. It was disproved. Now having said that, I won't feed your kids sugar if you tell me not to. My policy for the snacks I feed my Odyssey of Mind team is one drink, one fruit or vege and one fun snack. THe fun snack may be cookies or pretzels or chips or pudding, etc, etc. None of the parents have complained and none of the girls have become any more hyper than they already are. When I bring things to choir practice, it is only one parent bringing a snack at a time. I will follow the same policy.

[Corraleno]

Clueless and thoughtless go a little far. Perhaps they don't know that someone's child can't eat the food they're bringing, in that case, clueless seems a little harsh. As for thoughtless, they are bringing in treats to share. That's not thoughtless, it's generous, and ime what they bring IS very thoughtful.

 

Sorry I didn't make it clear that I was responding to the previous poster, whose child had a peanut allergy but who didn't feel like she should ask others to accommodate that. Some people have said that even though others knew their child had a life-threatening allergy, they didn't bother checking ingredients or they even knowingly exposed an allergic child to nuts because they didn't think it was serious. That's who I was referring to as "clueless and thoughtless," not the other choir moms.

 

Jackie

[Kelli in TN]

BTW, I think the tags on this thread are pathetic:

 

allergic to bad cookin'

pseudoscience

sucrose bashing

sugar czar

sugar pie honey bunch

 

Here's a research proposal: "Does overconsumption of junk food cause adults to act like adolescents?"

 

Jackie

 

I think sugar pie honey bunch is pretty funny, actually.

[KarenNC]

I understand why people say this, and given the number of clueless and even thoughtless people in the world, it may be a life-or-death neccessity to take that attitude. But it makes me really sad to think that people are afraid to ask others for a little consideration ~ especially when a chld's health is at stake. :sad:

 

Before I read this thread, I would have said "Surely most parents would want to bring a food that everyone could eat, so no child would feel deprived or left out." When my kids were in school I always made sure to bring a healthy birthday snack that everyone could eat, including kids with allergies or intolerances ~ it's really not that hard. The idea that some people would rather certain kids feel left out than make even a tiny bit of extra effort, or spend an extra dollar or two, makes me: :confused:

 

It can be a lot more complicated than "a tiny bit of extra effort or spend an extra dollar or two" depending on the group involved. To bring something to our not terribly extensive homeschool group that *all* would be able to eat, IIRC, I would not be able to bring anything containing any form of:

soy

dairy

nuts (peanuts or tree nuts)

corn

wheat (or related grains like barley, rye and oats)

chocolate or other sources of caffeine

sunflower seeds (can be cross-contaminated with nuts)

any artificial food dyes/additives/sweeteners

processed sugar

meat of any sort (red, poultry or fish)

eggs

and I forget which fruits and vegetables (I believe apples are on the problem list for one kid, can't remember about others--I know my friend with celiac issues and dairy issues also can't have bananas as they cause some similar problems to something).

 

The item should preferably be prepackaged with the ingredients and allergy warnings on the label so that it has no opportunity to be cross-contaminated in preparation (and all forms of the various ingredients can be verified) and ideally should be certified organic because of pesticide residues. These are only the issues of which I'm aware, not necessarily all that exist even among our 25 or so families. I don't know if we have any vegans who object to honey at the moment, for instance.

 

Our group only does potluck, make sure you bring something your family will eat and something to share, activities.

 

Given that a not inconsiderable number of homeschoolers are drawn to this path due to their children's food issues, the concentration and variety of those issues appear higher than in the general public. Even for the few kids we've had at my daughter's birthday, there were combinations of issues of no dairy, no soy, artificial colors/dyes/sweeteners, animal products. Then you accommodate for that and the one kid says, "I just remembered I don't eat/like __________" (that was on the menu in the invitation that the moms vetted) and it can be a bit frustrating.

[Elaine]

I think sugar pie honey bunch is pretty funny, actually.

 

Me, too.:lol:

[MariannNOVA]

Me, too.:lol:

 

my stomach has been in knots over this, and I find this one funny!:lol:

[jazzyfizzle]

Isn't excessive thirst a big sign??

 

You are so right, forgot to add that one (been quite awhile since had that one)

[Corraleno]

That's interesting, because I actually see it completely reversed... it seems to me that the prevailing view is to make everyone else feel good/comfortable/included, and give up your personal choices to do that.

 

Nobody's suggesting taking away anyone's personal choice to eat all the junkfood they want ~ but I think if someone chooses to provide a group snack then they should at least make an effort to ensure that the group can eat it. As opposed to just bringing 24 portions of something their own child likes, and who cares if several of the other kids can't eat it.

 

Instead of putting the onus on the allergic/intolerant kids to always bring their own separate snack, why doesn't the snack-provider bring something everyone can eat and bring a separate junkfood snack for their child?

 

Jackie

Edited October 24, 2009 by Corraleno

[jazzyfizzle]

It sure doesn't make me hyper though, quite the opposite.

:iagree: This was the first thought that came to me, also.

[katilac]

Instead of putting the onus on the allergic/intolerant kids to always bring their own separate snack, why doesn't the snack-provider bring something everyone can eat and bring a separate junkfood snack for their child?

 

Jackie

 

I think that several posters have mentioned that it can be difficult indeed to bring something that everyone can eat. People have specifically mentioned kids being allergic to fruits and veggies (!), so it's not a simple question of "bring something healthy."

 

If a group wants to have a pre-approved, acceptable snack list, I think that's fine, and I'd always go by the list. But if they don't, it can be a tad hard to consider the needs and desires of thirty families when you're at the grocery store!

[Elaine]

my stomach has been in knots over this, and I find this one funny!:lol:

 

Seriously, you gotta let it go.:D

 

It's the nature of WTM. It eats you alive and them turns around to hug you. You can never predict which threads will go badly. Besides, Christmas is right around the corner. This thread will die and the "Santa is evil and so are you for promoting him" and "I am a better Christian than you because I don't celebrate a pagan holiday" threads are bound to begin. ;)

[MariannNOVA]

Seriously, you gotta let it go.:D

 

It's the nature of WTM. It eats you alive and them turns around to hug you. You can never predict which threads will go badly. Besides, Christmas is right around the corner. This thread will die and the "Santa is evil and so are you for promoting him" and "I am a better Christian than you because I don't celebrate a pagan holiday" threads are bound to begin. ;)

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: I figure I took about 24 hours of heat off of anyone who does Halloween!

 

Have a great weekend!:D

[kalanamak]

At least ONE of the ones I read were done on parents who were convinced that their kids reacted badly to cane sugar.

 

 

I avoid sugar to spare teeth, and to avoid "empty calories". I believe my son does NOT have a behavior change with sugar...he's simply go go go go go until he drops into bed. However, hubby thinks it does, and I've tried some fibs with whether kiddo has or hasn't had ice cream. Hubby clearly interprets the go go go go go that happens every night as a sugar high and complains about it. On days I don't tell him he had ice cream, he never comments on the wildness.

 

Some day, when he's in a fat and happy mood, I'll tell him what his "wild" wife has done. :D

 

When I was a kid, I got wild over ice. I could chomp down a big bowl of ice and get so giddy, I was sent to another room.

[MariannNOVA]

Seriously, you gotta let it go.:D

 

It's the nature of WTM. It eats you alive and them turns around to hug you. You can never predict which threads will go badly. Besides, Christmas is right around the corner. This thread will die and the "Santa is evil and so are you for promoting him" and "I am a better Christian than you because I don't celebrate a pagan holiday" threads are bound to begin. ;)

 

Don't be upset! I feel bad that your stomach is in knots... now your getting my stomach in knots because I feel bad that your stomach is in knots.

 

and I think we just have to do what Elaine wrote a little while ago (quote above). And, a thank you to jackie for giving me the heads up that i had screwed up.

 

Thank you for being gracious and understanding --have a great weekend --and thank you for writing! And, I do see that my analogy to a nut allergy was erroneous and I will not use it again. :001_smile:

[Sputterduck]

People have specifically mentioned kids being allergic to fruits and veggies (!), so it's not a simple question of "bring something healthy."

 

 

lol yeah. Fruit and veggie allergies do happen.

 

My exh is allergic to bananas, avocados, any melon, carrots, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.

 

My son has had an allergy we couldn't figure out for the longest time. Well, we went apple picking and since that he's had just an apple by itself for a few snacks... Guess what? He came to me with hives all around his mouth after the first one. I tried it again for another snack time and more hives. And again. And again today. I am finally convinced that it's definitely an apple allergy after trying it 4 times. Who is allergic to apples?? *sigh*

Edited October 24, 2009 by Sputterduck

[MariannNOVA]

When I was a kid, I got wild over ice. I could chomp down a big bowl of ice and get so giddy, I was sent to another room.

 

THAT is funny! My girls LOVE to eat ice - what is with that?:confused:

[MariannNOVA]

My son has had an allergy we couldn't figure out for the longest time. Well, we went apple picking and since that he's had just an apple by itself for a few snacks... Guess what? He came to me with hives all around his mouth after the first one. I tried it again for another snack time and more hives. And again. And again today. I am finally convinced that it's definitely an apple allergy after trying it 4 times. Who is allergic to apples?? *sigh*

 

WOW -- Apples! Hives can just be the most frustrating thing! DD10 is allergic to fluoride in toothpaste -- took awhile to figure it out, but we did figure it out.

[Caitilin]

lol yeah. Fruit and veggie allergies do happen.

 

My exh is allergic to bananas, avocados, any melon, carrots, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.

 

My son has had an allergy we couldn't figure out for the longest time. Well, we went apple picking and since that he's had just an apple by itself for a few snacks... Guess what? He came to me with hives all around his mouth after the first one. I tried it again for another snack time and more hives. And again. And again today. I am finally convinced that it's definitely an apple allergy after trying it 4 times. Who is allergic to apples?? *sigh*

 

 

My little sister! ;) She went to the allergist and said "I think I am allergic to this, this, this, and this; please test me." Turns out she was allergic to every one of the things she'd listed, (including apples, bananas, carrots, almonds), a first for her allergist--that a patient could-self-diagnose so accurately. :lol:

[Corraleno]

I think that several posters have mentioned that it can be difficult indeed to bring something that everyone can eat. People have specifically mentioned kids being allergic to fruits and veggies (!), so it's not a simple question of "bring something healthy."

 

If a group wants to have a pre-approved, acceptable snack list, I think that's fine, and I'd always go by the list. But if they don't, it can be a tad hard to consider the needs and desires of thirty families when you're at the grocery store!

 

I agree ~ cases like the one KarenNC mentioned, where various members of her homeschool group seemed to be allergic to pretty much everything but turnips, LOL, would make it almost impossible to cater to everyone. In cases like that, it really doesn't make sense to try to do a group snack.

 

On the other hand, if my child's group included soy, milk, and nut allergies, I would happily provide a snack that accommodated those issues, rather than have those children miss out. I *always* asked my kids' teachers what allergies there were in the class, and I ask the same thing when I go to potlucks and such. In fact I often try to bring a vegan dish, even though we're not vegan (or even vegetarian), because I feel like too often the vegans get stuck with just their own dish and a few carrot sticks.

 

Jackie

[Audrey]

Seriously, you gotta let it go.:D

 

It's the nature of WTM. It eats you alive and them turns around to hug you. You can never predict which threads will go badly. Besides, Christmas is right around the corner. This thread will die and the "Santa is evil and so are you for promoting him" and "I am a better Christian than you because I don't celebrate a pagan holiday" threads are bound to begin. ;)

 

 

Well, before we do the annual "evil Christmas" threads let's get through those annual "satanic Halloween" threads first. You know how I just love those. :D

 

Seriously, though... someone needs to compile a sticky of the "annual hot topic threads" complete with links to the past posts. Then when people feel the urge to resurrect those moldy oldies, we can just direct them to the master list and they can "feel the outrage" on their own.

 

Oh, and forewarning... I swear I'm going to tag all those re-hashed, over-hashed threads with BTDTBTTS (been there done that, bought the tee shirt).

[lionfamily1999]

Sorry I didn't make it clear that I was responding to the previous poster, whose child had a peanut allergy but who didn't feel like she should ask others to accommodate that. Some people have said that even though others knew their child had a life-threatening allergy, they didn't bother checking ingredients or they even knowingly exposed an allergic child to nuts because they didn't think it was serious. That's who I was referring to as "clueless and thoughtless," not the other choir moms.

 

Jackie

Ah! Okay, I thought it was a general response. I do understand the peanut/nut allergies. I do make it a point to bring sugar free snacks wherever I go, just in case there's a diabetic. I wasn't even talking about the choir moms specifically. It just seemed like the cupcake moms were getting completely demonized and "clueless and thoughtless" struck a deep chord with me, being that (in the case of which I, and not you, were speaking) it would be needlessly cruel to refer to them as such.

 

Sorry I misinterpreted :)

[Karenciavo]

I have a son allergic to nuts, oak trees, apples, pears, peaches, nectarines, plums, melons, etc. and grass :glare:

 

 

lol yeah. Fruit and veggie allergies do happen.

 

My exh is allergic to bananas, avocados, any melon, carrots, and probably a few other things I'm forgetting.

 

My son has had an allergy we couldn't figure out for the longest time. Well, we went apple picking and since that he's had just an apple by itself for a few snacks... Guess what? He came to me with hives all around his mouth after the first one. I tried it again for another snack time and more hives. And again. And again today. I am finally convinced that it's definitely an apple allergy after trying it 4 times. Who is allergic to apples?? *sigh*

[KarenNC]

I ask the same thing when I go to potlucks and such. In fact I often try to bring a vegan dish, even though we're not vegan (or even vegetarian), because I feel like too often the vegans get stuck with just their own dish and a few carrot sticks.

 

Being Unitarian Universalist, it's pretty guaranteed there are going to be at least some vegetarians or vegans at any potluck and I do try to on occasion bring (and label) something if it's appropriate for them. I tried to do vegetarian at a choir get-together we had once, only to learn that I flubbed because I didn't realize there were anchovies in the worcestershire sauce I used in the baked onions. This was before my husband went vegetarian for a few years and I learned to make some changes to my cooking.

 

From lionfamily: I do make it a point to bring sugar free snacks wherever I go, just in case there's a diabetic.

 

And my bil would appreciate it if you labeled that, as if he eats anything with Splenda in it, he gets migraines.

 

It would be much easier if folks would say what they *can* eat. Am I the only one, when someone tells me what they can't eat or I can't bring, that can think of *absolutely no* dish that doesn't contain that? When my husband decided to become vegetarian (ovo-lacto), I couldn't even think of salad or cereal as a possibility. The only things I could think of were roasts and hamburgers, etc. When some folks of Jewish heritage at our church wanted to do a potluck seder and asked that we not bring dishes that contained pork, shellfish or combined milk and meat, I swear to you the only thing I could initially think of was something like pork chops stuffed with shrimp covered in cheese sauce! I get over it, but it's like my mind shuts down on options.