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Has anyone ever written a letter to a seller (house) ?


bodiesmom
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My Dh and I are looking at houses this weekend and there is one in particular that we are smitten with. I was asking our realtor about what we should bring with us (approval letter from lender, earnest check, etc.) and jokingly mentioned if I should write a letter to the sellers. She responded saying it would be a good idea to do so if I had the time. 😧

 

I've read about letters being written...but....do they actually help?

 

Anyone with experience with this, either on the sending or receiving end? What did you write?

 

Thanks!

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I do have a friend who was selling her house that was honestly not happy about it.  She and her husband were having to relocate but she had put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that house.  They did all the fixing themselves except for the new roof.  She did all the painting and decorating and upgrading.  She adored that house.

 

There were a couple of offers, maybe even 3 (can't remember).  A couple that had fallen in love with the house wrote a personal note with their offer, sharing how much they loved the house and the wonderful feeling they got when they walked through.  Even though their offer was a tad less than at least one other offer (again, can't remember if there was a third), she went with the offer that included the letter because she felt that couple truly appreciated all of her hard work and would love the house as much as she had.

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I don't have any experience with that in particular, but that personal touch might help! A former boss told me after he hired me that the job offer came down to another woman and me. We had similar work experience and education, and both of us gave impressive interviews—but I was the only one who wrote a thank you note afterward, and that gave me the edge.

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My Dh and I are looking at houses this weekend and there is one in particular that we are smitten with. I was asking our realtor about what we should bring with us (approval letter from lender, earnest check, etc.) and jokingly mentioned if I should write a letter to the sellers. She responded saying it would be a good idea to do so if I had the time. 😧

 

I've read about letters being written...but....do they actually help?

 

Anyone with experience with this, either on the sending or receiving end? What did you write?

 

Thanks!

Yes, they can make a difference.  A friend got her lovely house over higher bidders because of her carefully-crafted letter.

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Thank you for sharing OneStep-

 

I can completely relate to your friend. As I think about it, I would definitely consider an offer with a personal letter for the very reasons you stated over an offer that was more money (depending on how much more though to be honest). I'm starting to have a new respect for the blood, sweat and tears that go into even getting our home ready for market. My goodness... 😄

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It really would depend on the seller and how they viewed the transaction. Somebody who viewed the sale strictly as a business transaction (like my DH), at best it would be irrelevant and at worst it might annoy them (especially if it went along with a lower offer). A seller who was all emotionally invested in the house like in the story the PP mentioned might be won over by it.

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Thank you for sharing OneStep-

 

I can completely relate to your friend. As I think about it, I would definitely consider an offer with a personal letter for the very reasons you stated over an offer that was more money (depending on how much more though to be honest). I'm starting to have a new respect for the blood, sweat and tears that go into even getting our home ready for market. My goodness... 😄

TBH, until she was selling her house, it had never occurred to me to include a letter if I was trying to buy a house.  Or what I would think about receiving one for a house I was selling.  Just never thought about it, you know?  

 

After that experience with my friend, I realized that as a home owner it honestly probably would mean a lot to me if someone shared their personal, positive feelings about my home. 

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It really would depend on the seller and how they viewed the transaction. Somebody who viewed the sale strictly as a business transaction (like my DH), at best it would be irrelevant and at worst it might annoy them (especially if it went along with a lower offer). A seller who was all emotionally invested in the house like in the story the PP mentioned might be won over by it.

Good point.

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I would not.  I think it gives away too much from a negotiating standpoint.

Valid concern.   I think this definitely depends on the specific situation, though.  I would not expect a letter to influence price much at all, if any, but it might influence choice in a multiple offer scenario.

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  I would definitely consider an offer with a personal letter for the very reasons you stated over an offer that was more money (depending on how much more though to be honest).

 

Not for us. It's a business transaction just like any other one.

 

We got very annoyed when we were homebuying and sellers kept wanting to drag in irrelevant information (like how much they'd paid for the house when the current market value was quite a bit lower). Too bad, so sad, but not our problem. Either take the home off the market and wait for a market rebound (which did eventually happen) or accept the current fair market value.

 

ETA: I did feel bad personally for the sellers who were underwater on their mortgages. But a business deal is a business deal, KWIM?

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Yes, we did. We bought a home that was overpriced considering the repairs needed. The letter gave us an opportunity to point out the costs of repairs (as recommended by professional inspectors). There were two items that were concerns for child safety which this older seller likely would not have considered.

 

The tone of the letter was informative, not accusatory, complementary of the house but not overly so. The realtor believes it's what finally settled a starting to get lengthy negotiating process.

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It really would depend on the seller and how they viewed the transaction. Somebody who viewed the sale strictly as a business transaction (like my DH), at best it would be irrelevant and at worst it might annoy them (especially if it went along with a lower offer). A seller who was all emotionally invested in the house like in the story the PP mentioned might be won over by it.

This. We recently sold a home we had lived in for 11 years. We live in a college town with a lot of college rentals, and it was really important to me that we sell to a young family who would contribute to the neighborhood and enjoy the treehouse my kids loved for so many years. We got a lot of offers as soon as we listed, including two from young couples wanting to start a family. One of the couples included a personal letter in their offer, and it was really touching to me. I really wanted them to have my house, but we had a couple other offers that were at or above the asking price. I really wanted to sell to the couple who wrote the letter, but everyone around me (DH, realtor, friends, my parents) encouraged me to view it as a business transaction. That accepting their lower offer would be like giving them $15,000, essentially. (They couldn't come up in their offer at all.) So in the end, we ended up selling to the folks offering to pay cash who were buying the house for their daughter to live in while at school. I'm sure they are very nice and I resigned myself to it. But I still feel sad that we chose the money over the family. Had they been able to come up a little to maybe within $5,000 of asking I think we could have been persuaded. But to walk away from $15,000 didn't make sense. Send your letter. It may not help, but it couldn't hurt. Good luck!

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We wrote a letter.  Our realtor suggested we include one since the elderly seller had been forced to move out against her will (too many falls) and wasn't happy about selling. We told her what we did for a living and that we hoped to raise a family in the home.  We underbid her asking price by several thousand, too.  Our offer was accepted.  At the closing, she commented that she was glad it was going to someone who wanted to raise a family in it, so the letter may have helped.

 

 

 

 

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We did not write a letter but we received one when we sold. We sold the house to that buyer. Who knows if she was lying, and that's on her own conscience, but it nudged us when she explained her elderly father lived around the corner and she took care of him and wanted to be near him. We've had that situation in our family before and it was nice for the elderly person to have their own space and autonomy but also walk over for meals and such.

 

Letters are very common around here in the SF Bay area. But houses get many offers and see quickly unless they are junk or in a bad area. We made several offers before buying our current property. The other properties had 20-35 offers each. When houses go for $150k over asking, you've kind of already given up and hope of negotiating so people add the letter as a personal touch. I might not include it if I had the chance to bring the price down. On the other hand, sometimes people are willing to give up their negotiating ability if they really want the house. That's a business decision some might be comfortable with.

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Wow! Thank you to everyone who is taking the time to respond with these great tips, suggestions, and stories. I'm feeling really encouraged. :-)

 

I just can't believe how common it is to write letters. Then again, our only other house purchase was ten years ago and it was new construction. This is definitely unchartered, yet exciting, waters for me!

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I do have a friend who was selling her house that was honestly not happy about it.  She and her husband were having to relocate but she had put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that house.  They did all the fixing themselves except for the new roof.  She did all the painting and decorating and upgrading.  She adored that house.

 

There were a couple of offers, maybe even 3 (can't remember).  A couple that had fallen in love with the house wrote a personal note with their offer, sharing how much they loved the house and the wonderful feeling they got when they walked through.  Even though their offer was a tad less than at least one other offer (again, can't remember if there was a third), she went with the offer that included the letter because she felt that couple truly appreciated all of her hard work and would love the house as much as she had.

 

It never occurred to us to write a letter and we never received one, but when we sold our previous house we were certainly gratified to hear the reaction of one of the two offers we received, and we decided to sell to them.  They were a retired couple who were looking for a safer neighborhood to move to because their then current neighborhood was deteriorating.  They wanted a yard, too, for their grandkids to play in.  The word was passed along to us that when they walked into our house for the first time it felt like home; the decor (basic white walls and unfussy window coverings) was to their liking and the layout was comfortable -- in short, much like the house they were leaving.

 

We had gotten another offer when their offer came through, but the other offer was from a church who wanted the house as a place to put families in need for short periods of time and they offered $5000 less because they could pay cash on the barrel.  We sold to the people who paid more and actually liked the place for what it was.

 

Incidentally, at the closing the retired couple asked us why we were selling such a nice house in such a good neighborhood.  We told them we were simply getting a bigger house for our growing family.  They expressed relief and asked how we liked the neighborhood.  We told them it was so nice we were moving just a few blocks away, right across the street from the people who had built the very house the couple was about to buy from us!  That house has a lot of good in it, and so far has only had owner-occupants that love it.  It's been 11 years now, and the retired couple are still happy with the house and wave to us when they see us on the street.

 

 

OP, if you love the house I'd recommend simply writing something to that effect.  Had the two offers we received been equal in money we would have still chosen the retired couple to sell to, simply because they appreciated the house.

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We wrote a letter.  Our realtor suggested we include one since the elderly seller had been forced to move out against her will (too many falls) and wasn't happy about selling. We told her what we did for a living and that we hoped to raise a family in the home.  We underbid her asking price by several thousand, too.  Our offer was accepted.  At the closing, she commented that she was glad it was going to someone who wanted to raise a family in it, so the letter may have helped.

 

We wrote a letter (this was nearly 20 years ago!) as well.  Similar situation - older lady forced to sell the house her late husband had built due to health reasons.  Her realtor had to talk her into even letting us into the house to see it - she was so upset that she had to sell.

 

Afterwards, I wrote a nice note thanking her for letting us look at the house and how much we had enjoyed seeing the details where her husband had clearly put in so much effort.

 

It wasn't smarmy - it was just thanking her for doing something clearly difficult.  She accepted our offer and ended up passing away just a few months after closing.  I was glad we were able to make the transition a bit easier for her.

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I'm going to sound like a real ogre, but if I were the seller, and I received a letter, I'd be annoyed. Sorry!  In my eyes, it's purely a business transaction. Your seller may not feel the same way.

 

I hope it works out, whatever you decide!

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I know someone who just got her first home this way. Letter about how much she adored the house and especially the town as well as mentioning her personal connections with people in common. Her offer was accepted over better ones.

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We wrote a letter, but it was because we knew the family selling would be getting multiple offers. Our realtor was doing a dual representation thing and gave us the points that she thought would be compelling. While I didn't like the realtor at all, she knew how to get the deal closed.

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My Dh and I are looking at houses this weekend and there is one in particular that we are smitten with. I was asking our realtor about what we should bring with us (approval letter from lender, earnest check, etc.) and jokingly mentioned if I should write a letter to the sellers. She responded saying it would be a good idea to do so if I had the time. 😧

 

I've read about letters being written...but....do they actually help?

 

Anyone with experience with this, either on the sending or receiving end? What did you write?

 

Thanks!

 

I live in a city where charming older homes go for outrageous amounts and the buyers are armed with cash. A realtor friend was telling us that the letter has almost become a requirement if you want to survive in the multiple offers over the asking price, selling for cash environment.

 

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Our realtor had suggested a letter like this some 15 years ago in a very hot market (offering over asking price).  It turned out that our offer was accepted even though we needed an extra 2 months to close on the house.  Background:  the seller had purchased the 50 year old home 10 years before from the original owner and had updated/fixed/remodeled everything from top to bottom.  It was obvious that they took a lot of pride in the home and really loved it (they were being transferred for work and sad to leave their "pride and joy.")  The letter basically said that we had been house hunting for a while and the minute we stepped inside the house we fell in love with it (which was true).  We listed specific things we liked, talked about how we wanted to get a dog (the house had a dog door and the people were dog lovers), how we hoped to raise a family there, and how much we would take care of the house and love it just as they had.

 

Anyway, when we sold 2 years later in an even hotter market, we got similar letters with every single offer. 

 

I wonder if this is a regional thing? This was in Arlington, VA.  We lived in two other places in Northern VA, but letter writing was unheard of in both those places.

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We did.  Nothing overly personal or cutesy, just some basic information about our family, and how much we liked the neighborhood and the home.  We are in the SF Bay area, and as a poster commented upthread - houses sell in a matter of days, with multiple offers.  Our realtor suggested a personal letter to stand out from the offers/crowd.  

 

I wouldn't have written one otherwise, though.  

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Valid concern.   I think this definitely depends on the specific situation, though.  I would not expect a letter to influence price much at all, if any, but it might influence choice in a multiple offer scenario.

When we bought our current house here in NoVA back in 2005, we wrote a letter.  All houses were being snatched up immediately, with multiple offers and escalation clauses.  We only had one week for house-hunting, and it was incredibly stressful.  We saw the house on a Sunday, and their realtor was waiting until Tuesday to present bids to the sellers, so we put one in and wrote a letter.  We could tell from the house that they had a big family (5 kids).  We had only 4 at the time, but we wrote about how we could tell their house was a good one for a growing family, and that we loved kids and hoped to have more.  We also photocopied a little wallet picture of our family onto the letter.  Although we "only" offered the asking price, with no escalation, we were picked.  We are still in contact with them (such a lovely family!), exchanging Christmas cards and visiting when our next-door neighbor hosts him annual Christmas party and invites them back (they just moved farther out west).  They were glad to sell to a family with similar values.

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For me, I see selling our house as a business transaction so getting a letter would weird me out! Great..you love my house..but unless you put your money where your mouth is I've got nothing for you. :/   That might sound harsh but it's how we feel about selling our stuff.  Thanks to cognitive dissonance most people will end up happy wherever they end up anyway so I'd have no guilt ignoring a letter and choosing someone else. It would annoy me, honestly. I think my realtor would know my Dh and I well enough to not even show it to us lol. 

 

Definitely get to know your sellers' feelings on the situation. This could end up hurting instead of helping. 

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Wow.  I am in the south and have never heard of this.  I would say definitely no if sellers are not getting multiple offers.  In my area houses that are properly priced are selling under 60 days or so but I have not heard of people generally having multiple offers to choose from.  If our buyers had written us a letter like that I would have thought they were weird (which is okay if they are buying my house) and I would have been less likely to give up what I did in concessions and repairs.  I realize that sounds bad but the thought that our buyers might just walk made me more generous.  If I thought I really had them on the hook I would have refused the nearly $1000 in repairs we did post inspection.  If they did write a letter really all I would want to know is that their financing is not going to be an issue.  I thought about pointing out to our sellers that we have great credit and will have no trouble securing financing.

 

I realize this is a common practice but honestly I had no idea this was done.  I think it is a bad idea in a market where buyers are relatively scarce and sellers are just happy to have a buyer at all. 

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It really would depend on the seller and how they viewed the transaction. Somebody who viewed the sale strictly as a business transaction (like my DH), at best it would be irrelevant and at worst it might annoy them (especially if it went along with a lower offer). A seller who was all emotionally invested in the house like in the story the PP mentioned might be won over by it.

This. My husband, despite having lived in this house longer than me, views this as a transaction (our home is on the market). 

I, however, adore this house (it's just too small for us - way too small) and am teetering between "I don't want to leave!" and "... but we need a bigger place."

 

I'm sure I would try to convince my husband to take a seller, who crafted such a sweet kind of letter (indicating that they appreciated the time and thought put into updating the house, while still preserving the authentic craftsmanship of the period in which it was built) over another offer - even if the *other* offer was a bit more. 

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Our last buyer did include a letter with her offer.  She explained why our house was a good fit for her family.  She also said that when she walked into the house she "heard angels sing".  This seemed so sappy, almost manipulative.  But I recently got to meet her in person and she was still gushing about the house, even 3 years later.  So it was all good. 

 

We wrote a letter to our seller, but gave it to her after closing.  We wanted to communicate our love for the house, but wanted to settle the business stuff first.

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Some people sell a house and some people sell their heart-- It just depends on who is selling what--

 

My last house needed to be loved and I think the people that bought it, did.- but I wanted out of there so badly that I would have sold the house to anyone.

 

This house has been loved and if I sold it I would worry about my neighbors-- I love them so much and would hate to have the new owners be less than they deserve.  We have a special neighborhood and if someone wrote me a letter discussing how much they love the feel of the neighborhood and asked questions about the neighbors (not nosy, just "are they nice" type of questions) I would feel better about moving. 

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We haven't written a letter. However, we have had good success in buying houses by getting a tour of the home from the homeowner. Both times we did this the homeowners were the original owners who had raised their families in the house. They were both sentimental about the home and we're glad to sell the house to a young family. With one of the houses, we weren't the highest offer but the owner came back to us and asked for us to match the higher offer. I think it helped that we listened to their sentimental ramblings and shared our own with the seller.

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For all of you who are apologizing for saying that you wouldn't like a letter don't (apologize)! This is what the boards are about- getting all kinds of perspectives! I'm enjoying reading everyone's take on it. It's a rather interesting concept to me and as a pp mentioned, it could be a regional thing, but I really don't know. We are west coast (looking in PNW). I'm now wondering if WE will get any kind of letter for our home. Im also wondering how it will influence our decision (if we are so lucky to have more than one offer). My DH is all business and I'm all heart with homes, though I really try to defer to him for stuff like this and keep my mouth shut. :-).

 

Our last house had multiple offers and I wanted to sell to a young family because we really put a lot of work into that home. Our realtor convinced my husband to go with the cash buyer (the young family was financing) who ended up turning it into a rental. I STILL kick myself for not being more vocal about that one.

 

Anyway...just nonsensical musings after yet another long day of cleaning and staging.

 

I love this board. Everyone is so incredibly helpful!

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For all of you who are apologizing for saying that you wouldn't like a letter don't (apologize)! This is what the boards are about- getting all kinds of perspectives! I'm enjoying reading everyone's take on it. It's a rather interesting concept to me and as a pp mentioned, it could be a regional thing, but I really don't know. We are west coast (looking in PNW). I'm now wondering if WE will get any kind of letter for our home. Im also wondering how it will influence our decision (if we are so lucky to have more than one offer). My DH is all business and I'm all heart with homes, though I really try to defer to him for stuff like this and keep my mouth shut. :-).

 

Our last house had multiple offers and I wanted to sell to a young family because we really put a lot of work into that home. Our realtor convinced my husband to go with the cash buyer (the young family was financing) who ended up turning it into a rental. I STILL kick myself for not being more vocal about that one.

 

Anyway...just nonsensical musings after yet another long day of cleaning and staging.

 

I love this board. Everyone is so incredibly helpful!

 

I am in the PNW and where the market is hot in particular areas. Letters seem to be big.

 

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sometimes a letter can help.  it personalizes the buyer. if the owner was a long-time resident - sometimes they are happier to sell to someone who they think will love the house as much as they do. who will raise their family there and continue to make it a family home.

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We wrote a letter(in the process of buying it now).  Our realtor says he usually discourages it, but our attitude was not emotional and he thought in our situation it may help.  The sellers built the house 40 years ago and maintained in meticulously, but never updated it in the least.  They were moving to a retirement facility and are sad about going.  We said in our letter how much we loved the style and details(we do) and our goal is to keep with the overall style and update it.  We also will be finishing the basement to add bedrooms for our family of 8.  I mentioned how we renovated our 1890 Craftsman home over the last 16 years.

 

Realtor said it was perfect.  They chose our offer(much below asking!) although they had another one.

 

So, I think in some circumstances it would help.   

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We received letters with offers for one of our homes we sold. It did not help our decision on which offer to take. But it can't hurt to put one together with your offer. One lady decided to sell us one house for the price we wanted to pay because our realtor told her we were a young family with 2boys. She liked the idea of her beloved home going to our family and took our offer.

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