Is the South really that friendly?

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

Okay. Now I'm going to cry. :crying:

 

I consider myself "from" a small rural town just north of Waco, TX - erm, that's halfway between Dallas and Austin, right on the highway... remember David Koresh? Yeah. Anyway.

 

We're currently living right smack in the middle of (okay in southeast) Austin. It's a whole different world here. People do NOT smile and wave on the streets, do NOT let you in traffic (don't get me started on traffic!), do NOT smile when you pass them in the isles, and look at you funny if you say anything other than "thanks" in the grocery store line. It drives me insane! You don't know how long it took me to STOP waiving at people when I pass them on the roads. (Yes, that waving from the truck thing is true.)

 

 

So, it might entirely depend on exactly where you are. In the big middle of a place like Austin or Dallas... a small-town gal like myself feels like I must have woke up in the big mean north! :lol:

 

*says she who is looking to buy a house 10 miles south of Austin because the people in Kyle said HI, HOWAHYA to me in the pie store!!*

 

I'm a tiny little bit south of Austin and it's just too syrupy sweet for words. Come on down to the Outlet Mall and I'll fix you a limeade and show you where you want to buy your new house, LOL. :D

[Paula in MS]

I think there is a certain level of politeness that is here. It is common for me to come to a 4 way stop and someone will gesture for someone else to go first and then they will gesture back, "No, you go first." It is quite comical sometimes. I think the politeness factor is sometimes read as friendliness. Being know for hospitality comes from being polite. Being polite has nothing to do with making friends or really getting to know people.

 

Paula

[GWOB]

No. I grew up in South Louisiana and Georgia. Yes, on the surface, people are friendly and nice. But once you scratch that surface, even just a tiny bit, you will find many to be mean, spiteful, and downright hateful. Many kind words are laced with venom. Yes, if someone sees you pulled over, they will stop to help. Then, they'll drive away talking about your bald tires or bad driving.

 

Of course, none of this matters if you are rich or really pretty. Then the kindness and friendliness runs a bit deeper. I was neither, so I never fit in. Yes, people talked to me in the stores, but never as much or as nicely as the rich or pretty people.

 

I have lived in NY, CA, WA, and now NE. I have met more genuinely nice, kind people since I left the South. Now, there are many, many sweet, genuine, and kind people in the South that make the place bearable. And not everyone in the South is superficial and mean, but that has been my general experience.

Edited March 26, 2009 by wendilouwho

[dirty ethel rackham]

Really? I met lots of people from the South who were plenty judgemental, but felt it was OK 'cuz of the "Bless her heart!" I've met lots of people who are superficially friendly, but clannish. Especially when it comes to church issues. My neighbor moved to Georgia (a Chicago Jew married to a Hindu from India.) She was miserable. My Catholic friends have had a real tough time as transplants due to not belonging to the "right" church. I have also met some very genuine souls from the south, some very outwardly friendly and others a little less so.

 

That aside, I do think that population density has a lot to do with it. If you live in an area where bumper to bumper traffic is the norm and walls of pedestrians are rushing to their jobs (downtown Chicago), you just can't wave to everyone or you would never get to work:). Also, for introverts, encountering that many people in a day requires a wall of protection just to retain enough emotional energy to get through the day.

[Alison in KY]

Let me just say that I'm finding this thread so interesting :001_smile:. Our county is maybe 40,000 (that includes the city also). We're the largest town between St. Louis and Nashville. In general we will smile and wave, etc. There are nicer people and those that won't give you the time of day. When there's a funeral people cook (and I assume this is everywhere) and pull over for a funeral procession. When someone needs to get through while driving they will be let in, but not by just everyone. When a Yankee is around I've noticed you can usually tell because they are way more blunt...to the point that it's hurtful until you figure out they are a Yankee and that's just the way they are. All of my family members from Detroit smoked and tended be more loud and one woman I know just dropped the F word around people like it was nothing. However, there are plenty of rednecks that think nothing of cussing in front of you and your kids...just not the F word.

 

My husband is from an 30 minutes away and he complains that people aren't as friendly here because they don't all wave.

 

Oh, and sometimes I think the churches outnumber the houses. There are alot of churches in our town.

 

Alison in KY

[dtsmamtj]

I long for the day when we can move to the south - my DH was born and raised there but after the death of his parents when he was young he had to move out west. I have visited there over the past 19 years of marriage and love it!!!

 

T

[Peri]

Well I'm just not a very social person by nature. I'm an only child and am very used to keeping to myself and alone time. So as for the insensiere freindliness ... maybe we're looking at it the wrong way. Smiles are contagious so they are a good thing. My relgion teaches that even a smile is charity, so when I go to the grocery store ... as different as I look ... it is nice to see the smiles and recieve the hellos. I see it this way ... they don't know me so for them to say hello to me says alot.

[lynn]

I am glad I am not the only one that see's through this southern hospitality. Here's an example. My sil is a southern bell to the core, born and raised in Alabama. She's sweet as pie, graduated for Auburn, a choice SEC school but if things don't fit in perfect southern bell world, watch out. I went to her dd's birthday party and mama was there, pure southern bell through and through with all her smiles and small talk, "bless your heart".....Towards the end of the b-day party there was some left over vegetables, I was standing in the kitchen with my sil, her sister and her sister in law. Sweet, southern mama went around the room asking everyone individually if they wanted to bring home these vegetables, that is every except me:001_huh::tongue_smilie::lol:. You see I just don't fit in the south so I was not good enough to be offered her vegetables. Yes, I was standing right there in the kitchen with the other ladies. Now, where I am from in New England those vegetables would have bagged up and probably put right into your bag no questions asked.

[Audrey]

I lived in the South until I was 18. Like others said, IME there is a superficiality to the friendliness. I don't think you can really call that friendly. I'd actually just say it was 'outgoing.'

 

Besides that, I think it should be noted that Southern "friendliness" is relative to who you are. The elephant in the room is that racial tensions still run deep in the South.

[staceyobu]

I don't think it's so much that people are more friendly/nice/etc. I do think there are some cultural differences, though. I know my friends from the northeast tend to be much more straightforward than my friends from here. Now, that is stereotypical in some ways... but I do think there is truth to that.

 

DH and I are both Texans... we tend to have long drawn out conversations over which fast food restaurant drive thru to go to. Lots of "well, what do you want", "I don't care", etc. Now, we both may have a restaurant we REALLY want to go to... but we just typically don't come right out and say it. Even though we're married! I just feel that most of my northern friends see nothing wrong with saying "this sounds good to me!".

 

I think it may have to do more with pleasantries than with actual genuine kindness...

 

One other anecdote... me and a friend went on a trip to Chicago several years ago. Every single time we stopped and looked around lost at street signs, someone stopped and asked if we needed help. Every time. In busy downtown Chicago. I was very impressed with the friendliness of the people.

Edited March 26, 2009 by staceyobu

[Tammy]

nt

[Old Dominion Heather]

It seems every book I have picked up lately (fiction or non) takes place in the south or talks about it. In every single one they talk about the general friendliness and the hospitality down there. Generally speaking is it really like this? I admit it sounds wonderful but I have my doubts that any place is really that friendly.

 

So tell me the truth here. :)

 

In defense of the South...

 

Yes, it is that friendly... if you are willing to be friendly back and not move down here and then tell us that we are a bunch of superficial back-stabbers (as some of the people responding are saying)!

 

Southerners have excellent radar for Northerners who are judgmental!

[Rebecca]

This thread has been a little bit of a "balm" for me. I live in the same town as Geo! (Hi Geo!) But I have been here much less time than her. I have had more personality clashes/conflicts here than EVER in my life. It shocked me horribly.

 

It has been very hard to adjust here. I had major culture shock which I still have at times...

 

I never knew I was so "northeastern"- which I very much am! And I deeply miss the directness of my friends and family and the level of fellowship that I had in PA.

 

I do feel like I "jar" people with my details and direct approach.

 

I have found the niceness to be surfacy. I live in a very small town- and that has also been- whoa at times.

 

At the same time- there is something very real about southern hospitality- I have experienced it and I appreciate it very much.

 

Where I am from: you handle it yourself. Here- a meal truly is on your doorstep- just say the word... so that is a positive...

 

but I am not singing the praises of the south- at least not where we live.

 

My experience has been like others.

 

Very interesting thread- and comforting too!

Rebecca

[ereks mom]

As someone who's lived 90% of her life in the South, I would say, yes, the South is generally very friendly, particularly to visitors. We seem to want to go out of our way to help others and show hospitality. What Barb refers to is quite a broad generalization, and I don't think it's accurate as a rule. I think it's more about individual people. I could see that happening more after you've gotten to know a certain someone...they might be still polite to your face even if they didn't have your best interests at heart, whereas in another part of the country, they might just tell you to your face what they think.

 

:iagree:

 

But let me also say that not all places in the South are created equal. :) Here in GA, for example, most people in the state will tell you that the Atlanta area is NOT, in general, representative of GA. There are many, many transplants (from other states and also other countries) in the Atlanta area, and not nearly as much friendliness as you would find if you visited a small town (which would have a much larger percentage of "natives").

Edited March 26, 2009 by ereks mom

[Donna T.]

I'm a transplant. We moved from PA to AL about 5 years ago. I would say that yes, people in the south are much friendlier. I am always shocked when we go back up north (dh is from MA and I grew up in PA) and other people don't help when I need it, or accept help when I try to help them and they certainly don't make conversation with me.

 

I'll give a few examples of things that happened down here within the first month of moving here-

 

I took my dds to an event called Trade Days. An older gentlemen was selling gorgeous handmade wooden rockers for $80 each. My youngest child absolutely fell in love with one and I wanted to buy one for her. The man didn't accept credit cards and I didn't have enough cash on me. He told me to take it with me and mail him a check. It was so generous of him!

 

There is a produce stand down the road from me. We live in a busy suburb and this place has obviously been around longer than any other business in town. They close at 5 but leave a bucket outside so you can pick you veggies and pay when they are not there to take your cash. The woman who runs the place has told me that no one has ever stolen from them. They have surveillance cameras out so they would know for sure if it has happened and it never has.

 

Also, I have the best friends ever and I've met them all here in AL. All of them are good Christian women who would do anything to help another. These are people who have paid others rent, purchased others monthly groceries, cosigned leases, and so much more to help those who they barely knew and who probably didn't deserve it. It's inspiring.

 

Before moving here, I never knew so many amazing people all at once.

 

 

:crying: - yep, that's the Alabama I love.

 

Sometimes, I get a little snarky and threaten to move away. My husband gently reminds me (Bless His Heart) that if things aren't going well, I'm atleast half of the problem, and since I'll be taking myself wherever I go, I probably won't be any happier anywhere else.

[Barb_]

In defense of the South...

 

Yes, it is that friendly... if you are willing to be friendly back and not move down here and then tell us that we are a bunch of superficial back-stabbers (as some of the people responding are saying)!

 

Southerners have excellent radar for Northerners who are judgmental!

 

LOL, was that directed at me??? Seriously, my people are FROM the south so when we moved to a deeply southern little town I had a pretty good idea of whom I could trust and which folks were probably superficial backstabbers. Unfortunately dh's boss at the time proved to be the latter...but that's another post. Someone from up North without southern roots would probably have been shocked to know that all is not what it seemed on the surface. In the North, if someone is b*tchy, it's all out there for everyone to see and avoid. It's more what you see is what you get, KWIM? The point of my post is that people are people everywhere, but in the south that famous hospitality sometimes obscures who is who.

 

Barb

[lynn]

:crying: - yep, that's the Alabama I love.

 

Sometimes, I get a little snarky and threaten to move away. My husband gently reminds me (Bless His Heart) that if things aren't going well, I'm atleast half of the problem, and since I'll be taking myself wherever I go, I probably won't be any happier anywhere else.

 

I have to know where in Alabama because it certainly is not N Alabama, Dothan, Chipley, Phenix City I know all to well.

[LaMere Academy]

Yes, people in the south really are that friendly. Complete strangers will talk to you as if they've known you for years. Cashiers actually look you in the eye and speak to you. After living in CT for 8 years it was so wonderful to move back south. It took a while to get the "northern" off me.

[Donna T.]

It seems like a culture of avoiding direct confrontation, being civil at least on the face of things regardless of how you really feel.

 

 

 

Absolutely. Yep. I identify with that. In the South, we repress our anger. I went to Detroit years ago and everyone was yelling at each other. Angry yelling. They would yell and yell and ten minutes later, it's like nothing had happened. You yell like that down here and someone's gonna call the Law, get a divorce, or have a nervous breakdown.

[lynn]

Absolutely. Yep. I identify with that. In the South, we repress our anger. I went to Detroit years ago and everyone was yelling at each other. Angry yelling. They would yell and yell and ten minutes later, it's like nothing had happened. You yell like that down here and someone's gonna call the Law, get a divorce, or have a nervous breakdown.

 

 

:lol: Yep, my sil would have a complete nevous breakdown if I really got Yankee with her.

[Donna T.]

I like medium cities like Savannah and Charleston where the population isn't overwhelming but it isn't like you're likely to date your 5th cousin once removed.

 

I'm married to my fifth cousin, once removed. Really.

 

We had never met in our lives, probably because I grew up in the town next door. Started dating and found out Nanny and Grandpaw are cousins. And, yes, it's the Scottish side of the family.

[GWOB]

In defense of the South...

 

Yes, it is that friendly... if you are willing to be friendly back and not move down here and then tell us that we are a bunch of superficial back-stabbers (as some of the people responding are saying)!

 

Southerners have excellent radar for Northerners who are judgmental!

 

I was born and raised in the South, friendly to everyone I met, and was still treated poorly because I wasn't "Southern enough." So yes, coming from a NATIVE Southerner, many Southerners are superficial and will most likely talk about you behind your back. Bless your heart;).

[mcconnellboys]

Born and raised in Tennessee. Fifteen years in south Louisiana. Working on 11 years in central Kentucky. Have vacationed all over the U.S. and Canada (repeat trips to same places). Yep. It's different. Yep. It really is that friendly. And yep. What Barb said, LOL..... It's not that we *mean* to stab you in the back. It's that we're taught *never* to say ugly things *to* a stranger (directly). So what's the result of that? Saying things behind your back......

[Jennifer in MI]

When travelling through the south, I am always amazed at how friendly people seem. People always say hi and talk to my kids.

 

I am glad I am not the only one that see's through this southern hospitality. Here's an example. My sil is a southern bell to the core, born and raised in Alabama. She's sweet as pie, graduated for Auburn, a choice SEC school but if things don't fit in perfect southern bell world, watch out. I went to her dd's birthday party and mama was there, pure southern bell through and through with all her smiles and small talk, "bless your heart".....Towards the end of the b-day party there was some left over vegetables, I was standing in the kitchen with my sil, her sister and her sister in law. Sweet, southern mama went around the room asking everyone individually if they wanted to bring home these vegetables, that is every except me:001_huh::tongue_smilie::lol:. You see I just don't fit in the south so I was not good enough to be offered her vegetables. Yes, I was standing right there in the kitchen with the other ladies. Now, where I am from in New England those vegetables would have bagged up and probably put right into your bag no questions asked.

 

My sister can SOOOO relate to this story! She married into a southern family and is now living in the south. She has a LOT of stories like this - a waitress in a restaurant wouldn't talk to her because she was a Yankee. And, she openly admitted that this was why. But, overall, she really enjoys living in the south - she's made a lot of friends there.

[TravelingChris]

Yes, I think it is. I am having a bit of a hard time re-adjusting to more Northern ways. (Northern Virginia is hardly southern at all). I think living in small towns anywhere can be kind of hard.

 

I don't particularly care whether the people being friendly are really my friends. I just would prefer being acknowledging others and having a kind word and a smile. Certainly much nicer than a scowl and a frown.

[Donna T.]

I have to know where in Alabama because it certainly is not N Alabama, Dothan, Chipley, Phenix City I know all to well.

 

No! North of Montgomery is "up north." We're in Baldwin County. On the Gulf Coast. It used to be beaches and farmland. That's changing (due to tourism and our, believe it or not, growing economy) but not too fast.

[TN Mama]

Really? I met lots of people from the South who were plenty judgemental, but felt it was OK 'cuz of the "Bless her heart!" I've met lots of people who are superficially friendly, but clannish. Especially when it comes to church issues. My neighbor moved to Georgia (a Chicago Jew married to a Hindu from India.) She was miserable. My Catholic friends have had a real tough time as transplants due to not belonging to the "right" church. I have also met some very genuine souls from the south, some very outwardly friendly and others a little less so.

 

 

 

This is almost exactly how I felt when we lived in the NE, except we were Protestant while the majority were Jewish & Catholic. When I answered earlier I hadn't even taken religion into account. I'm guessing people in general have a hard time dealing with others who are different.

[caitlinsmom]

This thread has been interesting to read.

It looks like my town here in Idaho is a good mix of North and South. We wave, smile, talk to each other but people are fairly out spoken and to the point. This is a farming town and I think that has a lot to do with. Peoples lives are connected to each other here because "so and so leases this land and his brother tills this persons fields and his sister watches her kids etc". However there is still a wall up that says "Oh you arent family, oh well thats too bad maybe sometime we'll have you over for dinner."

It makes it hard when you are a transplant with no family around.

[Heather in Neverland]

I went to Detroit years ago and everyone was yelling at each other. Angry yelling. They would yell and yell and ten minutes later, it's like nothing had happened.

 

That's because people in Detroit are crabby because they live in Detroit and this kind of weather would make ANYONE crabby. :D

 

The year we lived in NC was a riot! The first time a stranger waved at me and dh as we drove by I said, "Do you know him?" Dh said, "No, do you?" We were both confused????? Up here you try very hard NOT to make eye contact with ANYONE when you drive. If you do you will probably hear "What the __________ are YOU looking at?" :lol:

 

Up here everyone is in a hurry...always. Down there everyone moves like they are walking in molasses. There I was standing in the check-out lane at Wal-mart, running behind as usual, and the lady in front of me is having this LONG conversation with the check-out lady and I was like "COME ON people, I've got to GO!" But they are all so nice so you can't really be mean to them. :D

 

The funniest thing I heard when I was down there: I was at a homeschool function with my boys and my youngest (who was adopted from Korea) was sitting with me. An older gentleman walks right up to me and says:

 

"Where'd ya'll find HIM at?" :lol::lol::lol:

 

I was like, "Up north they are practically GIVING them away! They are on every corner!" :tongue_smilie:

 

My mom is from Alabama so I know all about the bless your heart syndrome and not ever talking badly to someone's face. In our family everyone gets their own giant broom with which to sweep all things unpleasant underneath the giant family rug. ;)

[Kelli in TN]

Should add, my dd was teased mercilessly about being from CA. There is still an anti-North sentiment and racial issues.

 

 

 

I only see the racial stuff among old people. I am sure there are young racists, but I don't know any personally. I do know several old people who are racists.

 

However, the anti-North sentiment is pretty much alive and well down here!

 

D**n Yankees!!!!

 

Oh. Wait. That's me.

[GWOB]

My mom is from Alabama so I know all about the bless your heart syndrome and not ever talking badly to someone's face. In our family everyone gets their own giant broom with which to sweep all things unpleasant underneath the giant family rug. ;)

 

:lol::lol: Oh yes. Never mention Uncle X's drinking problem, even if he reeks of Jack Daniels. Do not ask why Aunt X's 2nd child does not look like her husband. And never, ever, EVER mention that Christmas a few years back! You are likely to get holes burnt through your head from Grandma's stare.

[Old Dominion Heather]

LOL, was that directed at me???

 

It wasn't directed at any one individual. I was commenting on a number of responses to the question.

[Riverfront Headmistress]

Southerns just know how to smile while they're talking trash. We're allowed to say horrible things about others because we begin the sentence with, "While bless her heart <insert rude comment>..."

[lionfamily1999]

Whether or not Virginia is south is debatable. People below us call us Northerners, but we're still technically south, so...

 

Some southern people are super friendly. For the most part, everyone uses good manners (please, thank you, sir, ma'am, excuse me) and you only hear horns once the tourists start swarming.

 

Those people that stab you in the back are the busy bodies. They don't mean no harm (insert eye roll), they're just a bunch a old hens peckin' at whatever dirt they can find. While they are few and far between, every town has at least three and they're loud enough to seem like an entire herd of hens.

 

As for racism... It depends on the age group. Teens (ime) are more prone to racism, toning it down until it's pretty well gone by their late 20s. You have a few of the good ol' boys that try to keep it going, but enough hemming and hawing from their friends shuts em' up by their 30s.

 

We do try to be nice to Northerners. However, there is a matter of personal space and tone that just doesn't mesh well down here. I've had to explain to a few friends from Mass that down here we have 'personal space.' If you are close enough that your spit hits my face, you're standing too close, back up. When I'm within a few feet of you, there's no need to hollar, I can hear you fine. Dh and my dad, say it's the temperature difference. Northerners huddle together and yell over the wind, whereas southerners space themselves apart and don't want to raise their body temp. by yelling.

 

All said, I'm sure there are really nice people up north and the only difference is climate. Down here, it's warmer longer and dog hot in the summer. You don't want to rush, that just makes it worse. Up there, with all the cold... you want to get where you're going (I assume) and maybe it's just noisier (explaining the yelling).

[Donna T.]

"Where'd ya'll find HIM at?" :lol::lol::lol:

 

I was like, "Up north they are practically GIVING them away! They are on every corner!" :tongue_smilie:

 

 

 

Oh, Heather!

Well, it's very gracious of you to laugh about it!

I can picture quite a few older men that I know saying just such a thing.

 

When I was in Detroit, it snowed the whole two weeks. It never stopped! I thought I loved snow, but that fixed me.

 

While I was there, a young lady I met asked me if we had plumbing in our house. She also wanted to know if our homes had bathrooms that were attached to our houses. I thought she was being rude, but I later realized she sincerely wanted to know.

[lionfamily1999]

In defense of the South...

 

Yes, it is that friendly... if you are willing to be friendly back and not move down here and then tell us that we are a bunch of superficial back-stabbers (as some of the people responding are saying)!

 

Southerners have excellent radar for Northerners who are judgmental!

:iagree:

[ShelliR]

I read one poster say that cashiers/clerks are friendlier here in the south. I cannot agree with this. I'm amazed when I go back home to the midwest and the cashiers are SO friendly and quite frankly, I rarely have one speak to me or even smile here in the south.

 

It also seems very "clannish" here and you need to know "the right people". I have had good experiences here, also. But I would not classify it as generally friendlier than the mid-west.

[MamaT]

I only see the racial stuff among old people. I am sure there are young racists, but I don't know any personally. I do know several old people who are racists.

 

Here in rural NC there are plenty of young racists, believe me. I could tell you things other kids have said to my girls that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

[Jugglin'5]

In defense of the South...

 

Yes, it is that friendly... if you are willing to be friendly back and not move down here and then tell us that we are a bunch of superficial back-stabbers (as some of the people responding are saying)!

 

Southerners have excellent radar for Northerners who are judgmental!

I think the older areas of the south are more clannish. But even they are friendlier.

 

I once sat and listened to two yankee acquaintances of mine go on and on about how lazy southerners were. Oblivious to the fact that many of us were sitting there, in the room, unable to escape. Like they were commenting on animals at the zoo who couldn't hear them. :-) We probably did "bless their hearts" a bit later, I must confess.

 

Or there was the time that some family "yankee' friends told us that they had laughed themselves silly thinking of my family trying to do Shakespeare. Charming. Maybe clannish would be good.

Edited March 26, 2009 by Jugglin'5

[rafiki]

.

[Haiku]

Generally speaking is it really like this?

 

I have found Southern people to be generally more unfriendly toward my multi-racial, minority-religion family than I have generally found Northerners to be.

 

Tara

[caitlinsmom]

So in regards to the religious comments.....Belonging to the right church means what exactly? Baptist, non-denom. or more like the Baptist church on 4th and Main?

 

I had a friend who spent some time in the south as part of a relgious mission and while he said everyone was nice they seemed to be flabergasted at his religious choice. Is this any religion that isnt *that* persons religion or are there ones that are just not okay no matter who you are? :)

[Brilliant]

Yes, Southerners are very friendly and polite. They say, "Ya'll come back now!" and they mean it.

 

But a couple of people have mentioned the racism. That's very real, too. It's not just the young people - it's young, middle-aged, and old. We left Texas 12 years ago, and when we go back to visit, we cringe at things we hear and see.

[FO4UR]

I grew up in IL and have lived in NC for several years now.

 

 

It's hard for me to say which is friendlier. Out in the country, Southern drivers are nicer by miles:001_smile: OTOH - it can be hard to break into a clique of Southerners as a girl from "Illinoizzzzz"

 

I've never actually gotten a "bless your heart", but I have seen sweet tea snobbery - like a girl from IL can't add a couple cups of sugar:lol:

[FO4UR]

Yes, Southerners are very friendly and polite. They say, "Ya'll come back now!" and they mean it.

 

But a couple of people have mentioned the racism. That's very real, too. It's not just the young people - it's young, middle-aged, and old. We left Texas 12 years ago, and when we go back to visit, we cringe at things we hear and see.

 

 

yk - we are a mixed couple - dh is Asian - and we see just as much racism in the midwest:glare:

[threeturn]

Sweet tea is an art form not to be taken lightly. It must be created under carefully controlled circumstances to taste as it should. Kind of like a fine wine. So just adding a couple of cups of sugar ain't gonna do it. :001_smile:

 

I think others are on to something about separating politeness from true friendship.

 

I grew up in the deep South, moved to Tampa for ten years (which is NOT the South at all), and then returned three years ago. I am amazed at the hoops my SIL will jump through just to keep up with the Jones in her small town. We choose not to participate and could care less what people think. That said, I love the lifestyle here. I love the politeness and the slower pace.

[Alison in KY]

So in regards to the religious comments.....Belonging to the right church means what exactly? Baptist, non-denom. or more like the Baptist church on 4th and Main?

 

I had a friend who spent some time in the south as part of a relgious mission and while he said everyone was nice they seemed to be flabergasted at his religious choice. Is this any religion that isnt *that* persons religion or are there ones that are just not okay no matter who you are? :)

 

I don't even know if KY is in the South, I always thought of us as Midwest, but we might not be West enough. Anyway, around here the right church is usually Baptist...but there are quite a few Methodist's around. Plus several Catholics.

 

In our local homeschool world I think the non-denom. is winning. I also don't know anyone in mixed marriages except in our homeschool group which has two families from mixed marriages. It's no big deal in the group.

 

Does every area have a church on every corner? I live 5 minutes from a mall, but still out in the county. In those 5 minutes I could drive to 1 Methodist, 1 Baptist, 1 Assembly of God, 1 Cumberland Presbyterian, and 3 non-denominational. And that's pretty typical for our area.

 

Alison

[Dagny]

I'm a native Texan, so I guess that is considered "the South";), and find that there are many times I just don't fit in...the whole "racial" thing drives me nuts, as well as intolerance for "the gays". That's why I love going to Houston or Austin...much more diversivenss and acceptance of different cultures.

 

However, there are so many things I LOVE about living here:

 

1. biscuits and gravy

2. chicken fried steak

3. drivers who move to the shoulder to let you pass (I grew up thinking everyone did this), and you better wave to them after you pass, or blink your tail lights as a "thank you"

4. the climate

5. the love/hate relationship with bubba trucks

6. bluebonnets in the springtime

7. Blue Bell ice cream

8. Tex Mex mexican food

9. mayhaw jelly

10. wishing cashiers would stop yakking and check me out already :)

11. the Galleria

12. the fact you can drive from sunup to sundown and STILL be in Texas

13. it taking an hour to drive 10 miles in Houston traffic (gives me a chance to listen to the radio)

14. Austin

15. Rolling hills and oak trees of central Texas

16. that we were once our own country

17. that we have beaches, prairies, deserts, forest, mountains, and the hill country all in one state.

18. phrases like "I'm fixin' to" which means "about to" as in "I'm fixin' to go get a bite to eat, wanna come with?"

19. All the girly girl women...I love it! I love pink! I love getting my mani and pedi and my hair "all done"...

20. When big hair comes back in style, we will take the credit for it doing so, lol.

21. A man wearing a white button down, starched Wranglers and ropers...classic and oh so sexy!

22. The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo...the most fun ever!

[Peri]

I have found Southern people to be generally more unfriendly toward my multi-racial, minority-religion family than I have generally found Northerners to be.

 

Tara

 

Really? Because I get no problem and I'm a muslim that does indeed wear the headscarf.

 

Look I don't mean to step on anyone's toes here but a generalization is a generalization no matter who you make it about and no matter what side of the fence your on.

 

If you don't like someone what is the point of saying F-you? It only shows your inablility to be civil. Talking about someone behind their backs ... give me a break! Your talking about something that streches accross oceans and you guys are limiting it to the south?! Don't give me that BS. If you don't like someone don't spend a whole lot of time with them. That's all there is to it. If they call wanting to come over just say that you are just abou to step out of the house. When you hang up the phone open your door step out for a minute and then come back in that way its no lie either.

 

Listen, you don't have to be rude or two faced if you don't like someone. People around here know if I like them or not and I never say F-you to anyone or lie to them either. I just choose not to be in their circle of friends and yes you can choose to not be.

 

This only goes to show how quickly people can jump on the judgemental bandwagon.

[stripe]

I have found Southern people to be generally more unfriendly toward my multi-racial, minority-religion family than I have generally found Northerners to be.

Maybe surprisingly, I have to disagree based on my experience. While I was on the road last summer, for example, many more people than normal at the rest stops made an effort to chat, smile, and talk to my kids -- most surprisingly, virtually all 20-something young men were genuinely friendly towards my young kids (and not in a creepy way!).

 

I have some extended relatives in the south, and, despite the stereotypes, they're more educated and more interested in other cultures (and actually interact with them, instead of it being hypothetical) compared to most people I know from other parts of the country, as well as more friendly.