Laura Corin Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I had full time home help all the time I lived in Asia and have had no help since we moved to Scotland in August. The new house is just reaching a stage (well, all but one room) where the clutter is reduced enough that full cleaning is possible. DH would like me to get someone in to clean regularly. He's not complaining at all about my cleaning standards - he's not that kind of bloke at all - but seeing me working so hard makes him feel guilty, and he feels he does enough in the house already (he does do a lot, just not the major cleaning tasks). I'm not asking him to do more. I'm strangely reluctant to get anyone in. I don't find the idea icky or threatening, nor do I have moral objections (I pay someone to service my car - I don't see that cleaning my house is different). I suppose I feel that I should be able to do this, as most other people do. What would you do? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 If we could afford it, you wouldn't believe how fast I would hire someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 We can't afford a proper cleaning lady, but we do get a young friend of ours to come and clean for 2 hours a week. Any help is better than none, so yes, you should hire a cleaning lady! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 My response would be, "you betcha"... but having said that I have the option of hiring a cleaning lady and don't either. I think my reasoning is two fold. I'm a fairly private person and have high standards when it comes to clean. It seems like each time I've had a maid come in she hasn't scrubbed and polished to my standards... I'd rather do it myself and spend the money on something fun for the family. Besides, my two DC still think it's fun to scrub the floors by hand. May they never think otherwise. Amen.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumbledeb Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yes. I had someone cleaning for me for about a year - only stopped because I'm nervous about the finances. While I had her coming, I cleaned along with her and we both worked really fast so I got the house very thoroughly clean twice a week. Now, we do it ourselves once a week and I've let standards slip a little.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I had full time home help all the time I lived in Asia and have had no help since we moved to Scotland in August. The new house is just reaching a stage (well, all but one room) where the clutter is reduced enough that full cleaning is possible. DH would like me to get someone in to clean regularly. He's not complaining at all about my cleaning standards - he's not that kind of bloke at all - but seeing me working so hard makes him feel guilty, and he feels he does enough in the house already (he does do a lot, just not the major cleaning tasks). I'm not asking him to do more. I'm strangely reluctant to get anyone in. I don't find the idea icky or threatening, nor do I have moral objections (I pay someone to service my car - I don't see that cleaning my house is different). I suppose I feel that I should be able to do this, as most other people do. What would you do? Laura I'd do it in a skinny minute. You're stimulating the local economy by hiring help. You're helping another family increase income -- perhaps providing opportunities for activities or education, or simply a more nutritious diet for someone else -- and helping your own family in the process. Hire. Enjoy. Feel no guilt whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I do. They come in every other week. That's not enough to keep the house scrubbed, but they keep me accountable and hit things that I run out of time for...dusting, mopping the entry, cleaning off the wahser/dryer, etc... I stay busy just doing laundry, picking up, and doing daily cleaning. And it doesn't get the girls out of chores. They help me with all of the daily chores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 You're dang right I would!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I do. They come in every other week. That's not enough to keep the house scrubbed, but they keep me accountable and hit things that I run out of time for...dusting, mopping the entry, cleaning off the wahser/dryer, etc... I stay busy just doing laundry, picking up, and doing daily cleaning. And it doesn't get the girls out of chores. They help me with all of the daily chores. :iagree:Only I don't have the money, because DH would never approve. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annabanana1992 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yes, we have one. Well, a team of 2 sisters actually. We hired them when I had 2 kids under the age of 14 months. Now I have a 6, 5, 1 and 1 on the way. It is worth every penny to have my house top to bottom twice a month. It takes me 2 hours of teaching music lessons to pay for one of their visits. They are here for about 3-4 hours. It would probably take me triple that amount of time to get done the same amount of cleaning and I'd still need to homeschool, cook, run errands, and play with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'm the only person in my family who can afford a cleaner, and my mother will disapprove. I think I need to get over that though: she grew up with servants, and had a cleaner when we children were young. She doesn't do housework herself (she cleans the kitchen and the toilet, and that's about it) so.... Oh I don't know. It's sometimes easier to live on the other side of the world to ones parents. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 For now, I choose not to - partly because I don't want to spend the money, but also because I have two healthy 11 year old boys and I don't think there is much a cleaning lady can do that the three of us can't to together. I want them to learn that housework is their responsibility too, and I think paying someone would eliminate some opportunities to teach them that. Also, when I had a cleaning lady when they were younger, it was really nice when she left, but without one day, I was back to cleaning all the time. Homeschooling is hard on a house. But I reserve the right to do it later if I want! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I understand your hesitations. I should be able to do it. But I can't. If dh offered, I would accept in a heartbeat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ummof3 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yes. We already have a lady come in 3 to 4 hours every Monday. She is my mum's cleaner too and we feel v comfortable with her. Granted that she may not always clean like I would :tongue_smilie: it really helps - and my kids are at school! I work part time so it has helped. With new baby on the way I'm going to call her over twice a week. I might ask her to help out with the baby - just to watch over the younger two whilst I spend a couple of hours with the older two. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'm the only person in my family who can afford a cleaner, and my mother will disapprove. I think I need to get over that though: she grew up with servants, and had a cleaner when we children were young. She doesn't do housework herself (she cleans the kitchen and the toilet, and that's about it) so.... Oh I don't know. It's sometimes easier to live on the other side of the world to ones parents. Laura Repeat after me: "You know, mom, you're probably right. But this is what we've decided works for our family just now. This time while the children are little is precious, isn't it? It goes so fast. By the way, did you see what your brilliant grandson drew for you the other day? I know it's here someplace..." Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I do have a cleaning lady, and have had for years, though I really struggled initially with doing it. I felt that it was such a waste to pay for something that I could do myself. The problem is that it's not easy to do myself--it takes a lot of time that I would rather spend on other things. That's the first reason it's not a waste. After I decided to go ahead and get some help with the house I realized that each and every woman I have had over the years is someone who really, really needs the money. I have come to think of what I pay for cleaning as a community service, lol. That's the second reason it's not a waste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfOneFunOne Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Maybe you're morally obligated to hire someone. You can afford to hire someone and someone is in need of a job. It would be the right thing. right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 but, no, I wouldn't. I just can't get past the guilt that I would feel having someone else doing something that I could do myself. Also: Cleaning is good, honest work that my children do along with me. I can't imagine spending money on cleaning! I'd rather spend it somewhere else. I'd be too embarrassed to have someone else cleaning up my dirt. It feels, I don't know,...... slothful. Oh well, guess I have plenty of my own issues, Laura. Whatever you decide, have peace about it.....:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 If we could afford it, you wouldn't believe how fast I would hire someone. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Since I am a SAHM, no I would not. I rather enjoy cleaning and keeping my home for my family. It's just not work to me. I still have time to d o everything I want to do and keep my home. Now if I were ill for a period of time or if circumstances are such that I had less time to tend to my home to keep it the way I want it for my family then absolutely I would hire help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I do and I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmschoolmom22 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 but, no, I wouldn't. I just can't get past the guilt that I would feel having someone else doing something that I could do myself. Also: Cleaning is good, honest work that my children do along with me. I can't imagine spending money on cleaning! I'd rather spend it somewhere else. I'd be too embarrassed to have someone else cleaning up my dirt. It feels, I don't know,...... slothful. :iagree: Exactly how I feel!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 If we could afford it, you wouldn't believe how fast I would hire someone. :iagree::iagree::iagree:I'm with you, sister!!! It's my dream! The only thing is that I want to teach my dc-maybe if I had someone for a year I would miss the clean so much, I would have to start doing it.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I don't tell my parents we have cleaning help.:001_smile: My parents only live 2 hours from us and we've had cleaners for over a year. I don't want to hear the comments, so it's just easier on me this way. I'm the only person in my family who can afford a cleaner, and my mother will disapprove. I think I need to get over that though: she grew up with servants, and had a cleaner when we children were young. She doesn't do housework herself (she cleans the kitchen and the toilet, and that's about it) so.... Oh I don't know. It's sometimes easier to live on the other side of the world to ones parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmschoolmom22 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Since I am a SAHM, no I would not. I rather enjoy cleaning and keeping my home for my family. It's just not work to me. I still have time to d o everything I want to do and keep my home. Now if I were ill for a period of time or if circumstances are such that I had less time to tend to my home to keep it the way I want it for my family then absolutely I would hire help. :iagree: the only way I would hire a cleaning lady is if I was majorly ill for a long period of time...even then...I don't know...just wouldn't feel right. I have dh, 2 kids and myself...if we can't do it...well, something is wrong then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friederike in Persia Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I hate it with a vengence:ack2: and love the fact that at this point we can have somebody who comes and cleanes. If you do too, it might be worth the confrontation with your mum. By the way, it's a pitty about the name, "Laura in China" cool! Friederike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I am not you, and you should do what is best in your situation. Do not ever act, or neglect to act, because you feel disapproval from friends or family on a morally neutral issue. Everyone has preferences and opinions. You'll sort it out and if you go according to your own values you'll feel better about it in the long run. Maybe being closer to your family is going to give you lots of opportunities to develop a strong core of values that you can truly own, because you'll have to defend it occasionally. That is a good thing. Best of luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I would under plenty of circumstances. Once every two weeks just for good measure is my first circumstance. LOL Maybe after hubby gets a new job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I would love to have someone come in once a quarter or so to do a deep cleaning. We can (generally) keep up with the week-to-week stuff, but I am a terrible cleaner... and terribly slow, so it takes me forever to do a real thorough cleaning and then I always find things I miss or didn't do properly. Someday maybe we'll be able to afford it. Maybe I can barter for it... hmmm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alte Veste Academy Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I am not you, and you should do what is best in your situation. Do not ever act, or neglect to act, because you feel disapproval from friends or family on a morally neutral issue. Everyone has preferences and opinions. You'll sort it out and if you go according to your own values you'll feel better about it in the long run. Well said. I completely agree. I could hire someone also. My husband has actually encouraged it to take some of the load off me. I have too many reasons not to, however. I personally feel that housekeeping helps to teach the kids the pride and responsibility of caring for our home and belongings. I also feel that pride. That said, I do have help already in the form of a husband who is naturally tidy and cleans up messes as he goes. I would consider hiring help in a crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I had full time home help all the time I lived in Asia and have had no help since we moved to Scotland in August. The new house is just reaching a stage (well, all but one room) where the clutter is reduced enough that full cleaning is possible. DH would like me to get someone in to clean regularly. He's not complaining at all about my cleaning standards - he's not that kind of bloke at all - but seeing me working so hard makes him feel guilty, and he feels he does enough in the house already (he does do a lot, just not the major cleaning tasks). I'm not asking him to do more. I'm strangely reluctant to get anyone in. I don't find the idea icky or threatening, nor do I have moral objections (I pay someone to service my car - I don't see that cleaning my house is different). I suppose I feel that I should be able to do this, as most other people do. What would you do? Laura The part I bolded above made me wonder--is this your DH's way of saying he'd like you more available for relaxation and fun when he's home? I'm definitely not in the what-my-husband-says-goes camp, but if we could afford it and he encouraged it and I didn't have strong feelings against it, I think I'd give it a try at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I would drive myself (and them) crazy. I am really too uptight to have someone clean my home.. :001_unsure:Does that make me an elitist cleaning snob? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 We had a maid for several years. It was the biggest sacrifice we've made thus far in order to spend less money. We're all impacted. Would have a live-in "Alice" (Brady Bunch) if we could afford it! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I could afford it but we choose to not hire help. Would never even dream of it unless I was physically unable. I guess it's a self-sufficiency thing in our family. Everyone does a lot of work around the house every single day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I do have someone come every 2 weeks. I still have to do the picking up and daily cleaning, but this way - tubs get scrubbed, all the floors get washed, dust bunnies get vacuumed, etc. I would love to not need her, but, with my health issues, plus homeschooling and running a business, I feel it is a necessity. Now, if the kids were in school, I would probably have the FlyLady thing down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'm the only person in my family who can afford a cleaner, and my mother will disapprove. Laura This is why I don't. ot so much because of mom, but because others in our family couldn't dream of such a ting, nor could we growing up, and I somehow feel that I don't deserve it. Silly. Also I like not spending the $. But I am getting over it. I don't get help with the house from DH, and I need help until the kids are a bit older and can do a little more. I am actually calling around this week looking for someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2GirlsTX Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I would drive myself (and them) crazy. I am really too uptight to have someone clean my home.. :001_unsure:Does that make me an elitist cleaning snob? This is what happens to me. We have had them in the past, as a matter of fact a very terrific lady. My hubby is the one who mentions hiring one, and he is the one who pays them, but I always end up letting them go because I just don't want someone in my house. Man, I am weird :tongue_smilie: I think this spring I will reconsider and hire someone again, but only on an every other week basis. I had not thought about what the one poster said who said it was helping the economy, maybe if I can wrap my head around that idea that it is good to let someone clean my house I can feel better about it. Oh, and even though my mother is deceased, if she were alive I would never, ever tell her that someone cleaned my house :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peri Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 GO FOR IT! I wish my DH would make me such an offer. Thnik about it. You can now have either free time with the kids or free time for yourself. And if you really don't want to have one, would you consider getting me one :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LND1218 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yep! As a full time homeschooling mom, I would do it in a second! But it's not in the budget... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allearia Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Go for it! I have never done it, but hope to at some point. I recently read a book, A Housekeeper is Cheaper than a Divorce, which talks a lot about how the family can benefit by giving the parents more time to do other things. Especially since you were used to having one before, you should just do it and not worry about what other people say. Also giving someone a job who needs it would tip it over the edge for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I used to have this dilemma myself. I wrestled with it for awhile for the same reasons. I didn't want to spend the money on something I felt like I should be able to do myself. The truth of the matter though was that it wasn't getting done and wasn't going to suddenly start getting done. So I decided to hire someone. I couldn't find anyone that would clean according to my standards and I certainly didn't want to pay someone to do a worse job than I would do myself. Then my 17 year old dd came up with the perfect solution. I now pay her to do specific jobs (the ones I wasn't getting to). She cleans to my standards (she had already been trained) and usually does quite a bit extra. And then she puts all of her money into her college savings account. It's a win-win situation for me. So my answer is yes, if you can find someone who will clean according to your standards then you can take comfort in the fact that you are providing a needed income to someone. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Absolutely! We've had cleaning ladies off and on and I am so much less stressed when we have one. We don't have one at the moment and I wish we did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yes, absolutely. I already have a local kid who helps with the weekly stuff (floors, etc), but I'd love to have someone for deep scrubbing too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melora in NC Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Yes! Yes! Yes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 The part I bolded above made me wonder--is this your DH's way of saying he'd like you more available for relaxation and fun when he's home? Let me ponder that one. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I could hire out the housecleaning, but I choose not to do so. I did have help at times in the past, due to my difficult pregnancies and subsequent surgeries. Those are extenuating circumstances. But an average, healthy family ~ especially a family with no young children underfoot ~ should be more than capable of cleaning their own home, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 (edited) I suppose I feel that I should be able to do this, as most other people do. What would you do? Laura LOL, a few years ago I used to wonder how you had such a neat, workable homeschooling schedule that seemed to go fairly smoothly (from your descriptions - right down to the one hour per day walk/run/exercise), and which I really admired. Then I read that you had fulltime household help! :D To answer your question: At this point in my life, if I could afford to hire cleaning help without possible financial jeopardy, I WOULD DO IT!! Oh, how I would love to have someone come in at least once a month and do a thorough cleaning everywhere!! We all pitch in here to do household chores, but it's never as clean and "done" as I'd like it to be, and won't be unless there is one person dedicated to housecleaning for several hours a week, and it's just not a priority here. When my kids were younger, I somehow had more time to do cleaning and organizing. Now, I just let some standards down in order to give time to higher priorities (studying, home educating, keeping us fed, in clean clothes, organized, and keeping the finances balanced). But definitely, if I felt I could afford it without jeopardy, I'd hire help with some regularity. EDIT: And I've always been a DIY person - I only recently started considering that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to hire out cleaning. And get a decent bookkeeping program. And get some professional fitness advice. And.... I guess I'm just reconsidering all the tasks we do in daily life and thinking that one person/one family cannot really do EVERYTHING that we'd like to do by ourselves. An example: my professional teacher mother asked me last year, "Why do you have all those teacher's manuals for math and English? Why don't you just teach it yourself?" I replied, "Because I don't know how like you do, and because I feel better with something telling me exactly what to do, so I don't miss anything." She could do it herself, but I bought a brand new book (also something new for DIY me) to help me teach. I could learn how to do it on my own, but my kids would be grown up and math and English-less by the time I learned! :) Edited February 5, 2009 by Colleen in NS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Depends on your definition of could we afford it. Could we budget or barter for a cleaning lady...well yes...but would/could we spend those dollars on something else or save the money for retirement or college... :confused: Guilt... I've just never been able to wrap my head or heart around the idea of paying someone to clean my home, when I/we can do it. Couple that with how picky I am about toxic cleaning products, the way it should be done, and I'm left scrubbing the toilet or assigning the job to one of the kids..or asking dh. Luckily, we've arrived at a time where my kids are pretty darn helpful and I don't have to delegate and fuss to keep up with the house work. Modeling, training and patience went a long way to getting here. I'm also of the personality type that would very likely pre-clean and that would be a big waste of time and money. :001_huh: My vote...do what ever works best for you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lorna Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I must confess to being a little envious of my mother-in-law from time to time. She has a man come in full time from 9 to 5. He is trained as a gentleman's valet and he is absolutely wonderful. I have no idea how, but she manages to keep him busy all the time he is there. He is anticipates her every need. As I always say to my husband, 'Surely everyone needs a Jeeves'. One reason I wouldn't have someone, however, is that I am very introverted and like my own space. It would be tricky to find someone who wouldn't be offended if I didn't chat to them. Moreover, when would they clean? We use the house all day. Another major reason is that the problem in our house isn't the dusting or cleaning so much as the clutter. There are so many projects on the go, books scattered. The things I'd love help with are the cooking of great healthy meals (when we don't finish up the day until 4.30 and the children like to play a game of chess and then have a story after dinner) and the immediate clearing up and decluttering the house. Any tips Laura? The cleaning is actually quite straight forward here. Now the children are a little older, they take responsibility for: their own rooms, putting away clothes, and bathrooms. Our son asks to do extra jobs for money. He vacuums or hangs out the clothes for twenty pence here and there. We blitz the house together if dh is coming home from Denmark. Dh is a wonderful help when he is at home. I did see some tips in the newspaper for people a few weeks ago who can no longer afford a cleaner (ah, times are tough). I quite liked one idea of having disposable cleaning wipes in the bathroom. The idea is that you do a quick wipe round the sink, shower and then the lavatory each day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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