Crazy Stuff You've Said Recently

[JumpyTheFrog]

Today to teenage son: "You've never had to go to the hospital because of a math test." This was in response to him saying he'd rather ride with Toad from The Wind in the Willows than take his test. (Toad crashes cars regularly.)

[knitgrl]

Not recently, but "Stop licking the window," is something I have had to say in the past. More than once.

[Laura Corin]

I remember saying to one of my children,  'Next time, let go of my head before you start to run away.'

[Momto6inIN]

Not recently, but in the past:

"Yes, the shape of your poop in the toilet does make an 'S'. Good job to notice that!" 😂

[idnib]

5 minutes ago: "I understand you think it's a mullet, but it's not long enough in the back. And what do you mean when you call it a 'soft mullet' anyway?"

[KeriJ]

Timmie!(dog's name) stop napping on the pages of the open math book and go back to your bed!

[Terabith]

Today I said, “Let’s keep our spit to ourselves, please. We only spit in sinks and never on people.”

[Starr]

1 hour ago, knitgrl said:

Not recently, but "Stop licking the window," is something I have had to say in the past. More than once.

“Stop licking your ice blades!”

[Terabith]

Also today, when I was asked if a cheese cracker was a boy or a girl: “I don’t know, sweetie.  I’m not really up on the gender of cheese crackers.  That’s a really good question though.”

[Kassia]

47 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Today I said, “Let’s keep our spit to ourselves, please. We only spit in sinks and never on people.”

you must need SO much patience!  

[El...]

22 minutes ago, Starr said:

“Stop licking your ice blades!”

Ok, that one gives me the squicks. Danger!

[stephanier.1765]

Today - "I'm going to quit while I'm behind."

[Starr]

“We don’t eat like puppies” as they attempt face planting and eating dinner. 😂

[Terabith]

58 minutes ago, Kassia said:

you must need SO much patience!  

Ehhh, it doesn't really get to me.  I figure it just goes with the territory of tiny people learning how to be human.  I find it MUCH less patience requiring than teaching teens to drive, for instance.  

[MercyA]

I don't say this, but I hear it multiple times a day: "Lily's in the sink!" (After my dog goes out, she gets plunked in the utility sink in the bathroom and I wash her paws. Her name's not really Lily, but you get the idea.) 🙂 

[Indigo Blue]

To Dh ( he just had cataract removed): “Stop rubbing your eye!”

Dh “I’m rubbing my right eye.”

Me “Don’t rub any of your eyes!” 👀

Meant to say either not any. 

[wisdomandtreasures]

"I need you guys to take turns drilling this afternoon!"

We have a stainless steel work table from a restaurant store and have been drilling holes in it for hooks so I can hang curtains to hide all the stuff on the shelf (we have our crock pots, canner, and loaf pans there, with 5-gallon buckets of grains and beans on the floor so it doesn't look very pretty). Well, the drilling takes HOURS for each hole so I have my kids grab a book and take turns drilling. 

[Clarita]

"Maybe next time when you are learning a gymnastic move practice on something softer than cement."

Said after DD tells us she fell and hit her head on the cement because she was practicing her handstands.  

Her response, "It wasn't my first time doing this move. I've done it plenty of times in the swimming pool."

[kbutton]

6 hours ago, Terabith said:

Today I said, “Let’s keep our spit to ourselves, please. We only spit in sinks and never on people.”

Lol! That brings back memories. We allowed spitting in the grass too, but I said that so.many.times.

[math teacher]

Does this count? I called a parent to tell her that her daughter had an empty tampon applicator at school. I teach first grade.

[Momto6inIN]

5 hours ago, math teacher said:

Does this count? I called a parent to tell her that her daughter had an empty tampon applicator at school. I teach first grade.

We need an ick button for that! 🤮

[MEmama]

One of the few words DS mispronounced when he was very little (beyond his speech dyspraxia) was Off, which he pronounced Boff, while pointing furiously at anything he deemed out of order.

So began the often repeated mantra in my house "We don't live in a museum", meaning it's ok that there's a speck of dust on the baseboards or crumbs on the table while he was eating. How it took 20 years to recognize the OCD is beyond me 🤦‍♀️

[Lady Florida.]

"I turned the faucet on for the cat".

We've all said it actually. One of our cats will only drink from the bathroom faucet. Either bathroom. We tried several types of pet fountains and she turns her nose up at them. She won't drink from a water bowl. The problem is that it's easy to turn on the faucet then not wait for her to finish drinking. We've left it running to often so now we tell at least one other person in the house in case we forget to turn it off.

 

[Kidlit]

The phrase "athletic beetle" in response to my 10 yo describing the beetle that got away from the pet gecko using that very descriptive phrase 🤣

[MEmama]

8 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

"I turned the faucet on for the cat".

We've all said it actually. One of our cats will only drink from the bathroom faucet. Either bathroom. We tried several types of pet fountains and she turns her nose up at them. She won't drink from a water bowl. The problem is that it's easy to turn on the faucet then not wait for her to finish drinking. We've left it running to often so now we tell at least one other person in the house in case we forget to turn it off.

 

Exact same in our house! What's up with faucet kitties? (We have a fountain too which she won't even acknowledge, it's only the sink for her lol)

[SHP]

On 9/15/2023 at 10:09 PM, Lady Florida. said:

"I turned the faucet on for the cat".

We've all said it actually. One of our cats will only drink from the bathroom faucet. Either bathroom. We tried several types of pet fountains and she turns her nose up at them. She won't drink from a water bowl. The problem is that it's easy to turn on the faucet then not wait for her to finish drinking. We've left it running to often so now we tell at least one other person in the house in case we forget to turn it off.

 

We finally found a fountain but they go to the sink when they see DH, the suckered, enter the kitchen. I have debated a motion actived faucet tyat shuts off automatically and teaching the cats how to trigger it. 

[MercyA]

"Grandpa put a very nice hole in the turtle."

(DD found a resin turtle at a garage sale and wanted to use it for a planter. It had no drainage hole. Her grandpa used a drill to make one.) 

 

[Drama Llama]

My nephew recently started using the potty and went through a very pronounced "potty tourist" phase where he would ask everyone he met if there were a big boy and if he could see their "uddaware" and their potty.  

His older sister got sick of it, and told him he couldn't ask the dentist about his uddaware or his potty because the dentist was a "professional" which nephew accepted as if it was a logical fact.

So, this led to people saying things like "remember Great Aunt Hortense" (94 and back in diapers) is a professional! so he wouldn't embarrass her.  Or "remember Henry (another 2 year old coming over on a playdate) is a professional" so people wouldn't think he was bragging. 

We are pretty sure he thinks that "professional" means "wears diapers" which has led to lots of laughter of what he thinks about the NFL.  

[SanDiegoMom]

On 9/15/2023 at 6:30 AM, MEmama said:

One of the few words DS mispronounced when he was very little (beyond his speech dyspraxia) was Off, which he pronounced Boff, while pointing furiously at anything he deemed out of order.

So began the often repeated mantra in my house "We don't live in a museum", meaning it's ok that there's a speck of dust on the baseboards or crumbs on the table while he was eating. How it took 20 years to recognize the OCD is beyond me 🤦‍♀️

The only way we ever figured out diagnoses of some of our kids was in comparing them to the other ones. If you only have one, it's a lot harder!

[Condessa]

This one has come up many times in my house with ds11:

"Repeat after me.

I am a human being.

Human beings make mistakes.

Therefore, I make mistakes."

[prairiewindmomma]

“Do you think the lady with the sippy cup died? I saw the tin flute playing Archangel.”

 

….on leaving the pool and commenting on who we did and didn’t see of the regular attendees….
 

 

 

[popmom]

These are hilarious. I needed a good laugh.