What is the bean dip in the expression "Pass the bean dip"

[wintermom]

I've heard people suggest the phrase, "Pass the bean dip" as a potential reponse to all kinds of situations on the Hive over the years. It occurred to me that I have no idea what "bean dip" actually is. Please enlighten me - clearly a sheltered Canadian. 😅

Edited June 8, 2023 by wintermom

[vonfirmath]

I'm guessing a refried bean like dip to put on chips.

 

[Miss Tick]

Here's a sample recipe. I used to eat store bought bean dip with tortilla chips often. Yum!

[Tiberia]

It’s a semi polite way to redirect conversations that are uncomfortable or none of someone’s business:

Mother in Law: I think you should buy a new house next door to us so we can see the grandkids everyday and help you raise them right.

You: We’re very happy where we are, thanks, please pass the bean dip. It’s delicious. You must give me the recipe.

As for actual bean dip, it’s great on tortilla chips. But I always think of the hive when I eat it!

Edited June 8, 2023 by Tiberia

[Starr]

It used to be at every event. Yummy

[KSera]

Does anyone know if this expression is used outside homeschooling circles? I feel like I used to know the name of the specific poster it was attributed to (was it Joanne, perhaps?), and the post it was first introduced in but that was ages ago. I don't recall if it was here, the Sonlight forums, or somewhere else. Doing a web search, I see it coming up mostly on blogs and forums for homeschoolers, which makes me think that perhaps my recollection that it did indeed begin with a forum post is true. It would have been at least 15 years ago at this point.

Edited June 8, 2023 by KSera

[Rosie_0801]

1 minute ago, KSera said:

Does anyone know if this expression is used outside homeschooling circles? I feel like I used to know the name of the specific poster it was attributed to, and the post it was first introduced in but that was ages ago. I don't recall if it was here, the Sonlight forums, or somewhere else. Doing a web search, I see it coming up mostly on blogs and forums for homeschoolers, which makes me think that perhaps my recollection that it did indeed begin with a forum post is true. It would have been at least 15 years ago at this point.

I think it was Joanne.

[KSera]

Just now, Rosie_0801 said:

I think it was Joanne.

That was my inclination. I actually had just edited my post to add that. That phrase has had longevity!

[catz]

I assume it refers to a Mexican refied bean dip

https://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/best-bean-dip/

That said, in this expression "bean dip" is a filler to gracefully change the subject avoiding discussion and conflict.  Could be anything.  How about that rain?  What a beautiful beanie you are wearing.  Is that a new pair of shoes?  I love this rug.  Did I tell you the story about Uncle Bob's vintage car?  Pass the Gruyère tart would you?

I've seen it at least in passing in contexts discussing boundaries of any type.  But I've also seen similar expressions in these types of discussions like "how about that weather" "How about the Cubs this year"

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, it was Joanne and she lived in Texas, where I would assume bean dip might feature more heavily at parties.  Though, Canada does have Mexican food too. 

[fraidycat]

56 minutes ago, KSera said:

Does anyone know if this expression is used outside homeschooling circles? I feel like I used to know the name of the specific poster it was attributed to (was it Joanne, perhaps?), and the post it was first introduced in but that was ages ago. I don't recall if it was here, the Sonlight forums, or somewhere else. Doing a web search, I see it coming up mostly on blogs and forums for homeschoolers, which makes me think that perhaps my recollection that it did indeed begin with a forum post is true. It would have been at least 15 years ago at this point.

It was Joanne and I think it originated here, because IIRC, the OG post was linked to in similar thread many years ago. Someone asked what it meant, someone linked the original, and I, a relative newbie at the time was enlightened. 🙂

[Clemsondana]

Years ago there was a forum called Etiquettehell that I used to read...I was still working in labs and it was something to read while I waited on experiments, so it was 20 years ago.  They used this expression all the time, so it's definitely used outside of homeschool circles.  

[KSera]

32 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

It was Joanne and I think it originated here, because IIRC, the OG post was linked to in similar thread many years ago. Someone asked what it meant, someone linked the original, and I, a relative newbie at the time was enlightened. 🙂

I found quite a few websites that have a link to the bean dip article Joanne wrote on her counseling website, but the link is broken. The website still exists and belongs to her, but the article is no longer there. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

7 minutes ago, KSera said:

I found quite a few websites that have a link to the bean dip article Joanne wrote on her counseling website, but the link is broken. The website still exists and belongs to her, but the article is no longer there. 

I remember Joanne getting a bit frustrated at times when people didn’t always use it as she had intended. . .

[Katy]

I’ve seen it in a few places recently… once on Reddit, in either a fundie snark or duggar snark subreddit… come to think of it, it might have been someone here!

And once I saw it used in one of the advice columns on WaPo.

[MEmama]

I've never heard other than on this forum but I think the meaning is clear. This conversation is awkward so it's time to redirect to something meaningless.

most people are easily distracted, lol

Edited June 8, 2023 by MEmama

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Yes, it was Joanne and she lived in Texas, where I would assume bean dip might feature more heavily at parties.  Though, Canada does have Mexican food too. 

Yyyyessss, we do have plenty of the "crap" commercial "Mexican" foods available in grocery stores. I call is crappy now that I've eated really great Mexican and Central American similar food options. There is no comparison. The refried beans in a can at my local grocery store are completely tasteless and very, very disappointing when you've had the "real deal." I NEVER serve that junk at a party where I like the people.

The refried beans that are available in places like Costa Rica and my specialty Mexican/South American food shop are amazing! This is why it just occurred to me to people might actually serve refried beans as a party food. It can be very tasty, but if it's not tasty then "pass the bean dip far away from me" would be the phrase I'd be using. 🤣

[wathe]

Black bean dip, I think.   A dip for torilla chips.   I remember it was a thing when I was at university in Waterloo the early 90's.  Actually bean dip, that is.  I learned the expression here years later.

[wintermom]

I have to say that it's good to get clarity on the usage of this phrase, simply because there are several expressions I've come across on this forum that are definitely "Code" for other things. These are "books," and "tea," that are flagged by using some kind of weird capital letter combinations. But there are also things like cupcakes and kilts that have some kind of voodoo powers as well. I don't really know the full backstory to those topics.

[Lori D.]

It's a long-existing saying in the Southwest, and it is a polite way of saying "let's change the subject," especially when the conversation is moving into an awkward or heated direction. I've heard it since I was a kid, long before being on these boards. It's a lot like how these expressions are used:

"How 'bout those Red Sox?"
"What do you think about the weather; is it going to rain?"

Or:

"By the way, weren't you going to tell me about ....[other topic]?"
"On a completely different subject..." or "On a completely different topic..."
"That reminds me of... [insert completely different topic]"


And, your bean dip recipe looks super yummy, @Miss Tick! 😄 
 

Edited June 8, 2023 by Lori D.

[Harriet Vane]

2 hours ago, KSera said:

Does anyone know if this expression is used outside homeschooling circles? I feel like I used to know the name of the specific poster it was attributed to (was it Joanne, perhaps?), and the post it was first introduced in but that was ages ago. I don't recall if it was here, the Sonlight forums, or somewhere else. Doing a web search, I see it coming up mostly on blogs and forums for homeschoolers, which makes me think that perhaps my recollection that it did indeed begin with a forum post is true. It would have been at least 15 years ago at this point.

It was definitely Joanne. I appreciated her wisdom so much.

[Harriet Vane]

34 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I have to say that it's good to get clarity on the usage of this phrase, simply because there are several expressions I've come across on this forum that are definitely "Code" for other things. These are "books," and "tea," that are flagged by using some kind of weird capital letter combinations. But there are also things like cupcakes and kilts that have some kind of voodoo powers as well. I don't really know the full backstory to those topics.

Tiberia explained "Pass the bean dip" pretty well. The idea is to quietly assert a boundary and then close the topic from further discussion by redirecting.

Books - code for bre@asts

Tea - code for s*x

In both cases, the funny letter/symbol combinations are to make the terms less searchable/findable from a generic internet search. Books came about by a typo that everyone made much of and much hilarity ensued, then we all realized it was a handy euphemism. Tea was brought on board by somebody or other who wanted to ask a delicate question without being raunchy.

Kilts are simple. We all think they look good and we celebrate them.

Cupcakes refers back to the great cupcake-versus-cake debate, which also devolved into a lengthy tangent on pie and the virtues of other desserts as well. It may have originally sprung from someone's daughter not wanting a behemoth wedding cake? There was vehemence on all sides.

(For the record, though the original debate took place many, many moons ago, somehow it infiltrated deep into my household. My dd did not want either cake or cupcakes at her wedding, so dh and I baked for two months to make a fabulous cookie bar. When the vows had been said and the happy couple processed out, dh made a beeline for the barn wherein the cookies were enshrined, collecting small children as he went along like the Pied Piper. We looked everywhere, trying to find him for our scheduled photographs and found him lording over a private cookie party with the littlest ones. 🤣)

[KSera]

1 minute ago, Harriet Vane said:

Cupcakes refers back to the great cupcake-versus-cake debate

I always thought this one started from a debate about bringing cupcakes to school for a kid’s birthday. I think maybe there was a school that didn’t allow it and people had surprisingly strong feelings on both sides about that. For some reason I associate the conversation with @SKL, but that may be completely spurious. But maybe there was another cupcake debate that I missed.

[SKL]

Just now, KSera said:

I always thought this one started from a debate about bringing cupcakes to school for a kid’s birthday. I think maybe there was a school that didn’t allow it and people had surprisingly strong feelings on both sides about that. For some reason I associate the conversation with @SKL, but that may be completely spurious. But maybe there was another cupcake debate that I missed.

I didn’t start the cupcake thread, but I had a lot of fun with it.  So sad they deleted it.

[catz]

18 minutes ago, KSera said:

I always thought this one started from a debate about bringing cupcakes to school for a kid’s birthday. I think maybe there was a school that didn’t allow it and people had surprisingly strong feelings on both sides about that. For some reason I associate the conversation with @SKL, but that may be completely spurious. But maybe there was another cupcake debate that I missed.

Wasn't whoever started the thread mad because someone was bringing cupcakes to class?  I could be wrong.  That was such a great thread.  I don't even remember what was in it but I remember laughing to tears while that was going down.  🤣😍

[SKL]

1 minute ago, catz said:

Wasn't whoever started the thread mad because someone was bringing cupcakes to class?  I could be wrong.  That was such a great thread.  I don't even remember what was in it but I remember laughing to tears while that was going down.  🤣😍

It got in her craw.

[SKL]

I’m dying laughing all over again.

I may need professional help.

[Harriet Vane]

31 minutes ago, KSera said:

I always thought this one started from a debate about bringing cupcakes to school for a kid’s birthday. I think maybe there was a school that didn’t allow it and people had surprisingly strong feelings on both sides about that. For some reason I associate the conversation with @SKL, but that may be completely spurious. But maybe there was another cupcake debate that I missed.

Ya know, you might be right about that. I had forgotten that one. But I also remember the wedding cake discussion. I don't know if it was immediately then or if my mind just pulled random things together, but one result was that Faith Manor's daughter went with pies for her wedding. I think? @Faith-manor do you have any perspective on this?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Kilts appeared in the cupcake war thread, along with pictures of funny cupcakes, as a way to diffuse some of the genuine animosity that was bubbling up in that thread. I am sure that it caused trouble for the administrators due to the sheer bandwidth of so many photos as well as the whole copyright issue. But it was a funny way to “pass the bean dip”. 

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

I've never heard other than on this forum but I think the meaning is clear. This conversation is awkward so it's time to redirect to something meaningless.

most people are easily distracted, lol

Sure, I did understand the intent of the phrase within the context of a post. What I wasn't clear about what why they would insert a phrase about bean dip, which to me meant nothing at all. I've never been served bean dip anywhere. I wasn't even sure whether there were beans involved or whether it was completely made-up thing. 

[wintermom]

1 minute ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Kilts appeared in the cupcake war thread, along with pictures of funny cupcakes, as a way to diffuse some of the genuine animosity that was bubbling up in that thread. I am sure that it caused trouble for the administrators due to the sheer bandwidth of so many photos as well as the whole copyright issue. But it was a funny way to “pass the bean dip”. 

You have smoothly and skillfully mashed up three things - kilts, cupcakes and bean dip. You just need to add in books and tea and you'll have a royal flush! 😉 

[wintermom]

44 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

Tiberia explained "Pass the bean dip" pretty well. The idea is to quietly assert a boundary and then close the topic from further discussion by redirecting.

Books - code for bre@asts

Tea - code for s*x

In both cases, the funny letter/symbol combinations are to make the terms less searchable/findable from a generic internet search. Books came about by a typo that everyone made much of and much hilarity ensued, then we all realized it was a handy euphemism. Tea was brought on board by somebody or other who wanted to ask a delicate question without being raunchy.

Kilts are simple. We all think they look good and we celebrate them.

Cupcakes refers back to the great cupcake-versus-cake debate, which also devolved into a lengthy tangent on pie and the virtues of other desserts as well. It may have originally sprung from someone's daughter not wanting a behemoth wedding cake? There was vehemence on all sides.

(For the record, though the original debate took place many, many moons ago, somehow it infiltrated deep into my household. My dd did not want either cake or cupcakes at her wedding, so dh and I baked for two months to make a fabulous cookie bar. When the vows had been said and the happy couple processed out, dh made a beeline for the barn wherein the cookies were enshrined, collecting small children as he went along like the Pied Piper. We looked everywhere, trying to find him for our scheduled photographs and found him lording over a private cookie party with the littlest ones. 🤣)

I did figure out the code for books and tea pretty easily. I actually prefer the method you wrote the words rather than the code words that have nothing to do with the actual items.

I'm going to imagine that "books" and "tea" are Southern code words handed down from mother to daughter over the decades to keep their conversations gentle and unintelligable to the big pitchers of young'uns. 😉  That's my story, so don't burst my bubble!! 

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, Clemsondana said:

Years ago there was a forum called Etiquettehell that I used to read...I was still working in labs and it was something to read while I waited on experiments, so it was 20 years ago.  They used this expression all the time, so it's definitely used outside of homeschool circles.  

Loved Etiquettehell and posted there for a while, but once I found the Hive that was it for me. ❤️  I do always enjoy the etiquette questions here on the chat board. 

[I talk to the trees]

3 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I remember Joanne getting a bit frustrated at times when people didn’t always use it as she had intended. . .

I was a newbie here, and I think I must have done this, because I remember her messaging me with a very angry lecture over how I had used “her” phrase. I do not recall exactly what I said. Maybe I left out a word or changed word order, but the sentiment was the same. I felt horribly embarrassed, like I had plagiarized an entire paper or something, and still feel icky when I think about the interaction. Maybe she was just having a bad day, but she really let it rip! That’s probably the ugliest thing anyone here has ever said to me. 

[Harriet Vane]

1 minute ago, I talk to the trees said:

I was a newbie here, and I think I must have done this, because I remember her messaging me with a very angry lecture over how I had used “her” phrase. I do not recall exactly what I said. Maybe I left out a word or changed word order, but the sentiment was the same. I felt horribly embarrassed, like I had plagiarized an entire paper or something, and still feel icky when I think about the interaction. Maybe she was just having a bad day, but she really let it rip! That’s probably the ugliest thing anyone here has ever said to me. 

I'm so sorry. That wasn't fair. It's easy to assume that "we've" all been talking this whole time and lose sight of the fact that folks enter and leave this space routinely, so it's really not safe to assume there is a shared body of knowledge, as this thread definitely proves.

I remember Joanne was unhappy that the phrase was used to avoid the step of boundary setting. When she coined the phrase, it was meant to be a two-part process: asserting the boundary briefly, clearly, and without a lotta drama, and then changing the subject so as not to debate the boundary. I also remember her trying to explain that a few times over the years, so it sounds like she might have snapped on this point. I'm sorry you bore the brunt of that.

Unfortunately that's what happens when lots of people are talking and entering/exiting the conversation. Not everyone gets the memo. It's a massive game of Telephone.

[I talk to the trees]

Ah, the Great Cupcake Kerfuffle. August 10th, I believe, because it was a friend’s birthday, and I remember having margaritas on her porch, then coming home to find that the thread had exploded. (Don’t worry, I didn’t drive. She lived 3 doors down from me!) Between the margaritas and the thread (which involved many photos of men in kilts, and, IIRC, a photo of cupcakes with prophylactics on top? Am I imagining this?) I laughed so hard my ribs hurt the next day! 🤣 Oh, man! I could really use a cupcake thread right now!

[fraidycat]

2 hours ago, KSera said:

I always thought this one started from a debate about bringing cupcakes to school for a kid’s birthday. I think maybe there was a school that didn’t allow it and people had surprisingly strong feelings on both sides about that. For some reason I associate the conversation with @SKL, but that may be completely spurious. But maybe there was another cupcake debate that I missed.

 

2 hours ago, catz said:

Wasn't whoever started the thread mad because someone was bringing cupcakes to class?  I could be wrong.  That was such a great thread.  I don't even remember what was in it but I remember laughing to tears while that was going down.  🤣😍

 

2 hours ago, SKL said:

It got in her craw.

Ah, the great cupcake war of ????. Epic. 
 

IIRC, the original poster was a newbie to the board and was outraged about cupcakes in a classroom. She kept doubling down on why she was right and anyone who disagreed with her was wrong. Part of her argument was somebody might use "old" eggs to make them but it was a completely normal number like 2 weeks or something like that for the age of the eggs.

Details that I may totally be mis-remembering aside, it was a very entertaining thread and I'm glad I was here for it.

[fraidycat]

2 hours ago, wintermom said:

I did figure out the code for books and tea pretty easily. I actually prefer the method you wrote the words rather than the code words that have nothing to do with the actual items.

I'm going to imagine that "books" and "tea" are Southern code words handed down from mother to daughter over the decades to keep their conversations gentle and unintelligable to the big pitchers of young'uns. 😉  That's my story, so don't burst my bubble!! 

I hope someone does burst your bubble on the tea thing because it's a great thread for a laugh as well that I think still exists. I'm hoping someone has it bookmarked and can link it for you.

[SKL]

1 hour ago, fraidycat said:

Ah, the great cupcake war of ????. Epic. 
 

IIRC, the original poster was a newbie to the board and was outraged about cupcakes in a classroom. She kept doubling down on why she was right and anyone who disagreed with her was wrong. Part of her argument was somebody might use "old" eggs to make them but it was a completely normal number like 2 weeks or something like that for the age of the eggs.

Details that I may totally be mis-remembering aside, it was a very entertaining thread and I'm glad I was here for it.

 

IIRC the OP was a mom who had a SIL who was a teacher at a school with rules against bringing birthday treats to eat.  The kids involved were maybe 2nd grade, and this teacher mom sent in cupcakes for her daughter's birthday.  I don't remember the exact reason why this stuck in OP's craw.  Was it a dietary issue or just too much sugar or just how can a teacher not follow the rules?

I started out agreeing with the OP.  It used to bug me how much sugar they let my kids eat at school, because one of my kids would tend to misbehave after eating the sugar, and I'd be somehow expected to manage that from home.  (I'm a lot more laid back about such things now!)  But I think most posters were like, chill, it's just a cupcake!

It was so hilarious.  It seems everyone drew on their creativity to post funny comments, and some posters came up with images of every kind of cupcake design you could ever imagine.  Some of them had to be photoshopped, but it was funny anyway.  Someone would say "we need a cupcake with R. Gosling in a kilt" and voila!  It ended up being the 2nd longest thread ever on WTM.  But all those great images were the reason it had to be deleted.  😞

So now the newer folks know why people always invoke cupcakes when things get too prickly around here.

Edited June 9, 2023 by SKL

[Tiberia]

It took me forever to figure out why we'd have so many thread titles like: "Can you recommend Bookshelves for big BOOKS?" or "Sportswomen, how do you deal with sweaty books?"

I finally dived into one of the threads, mostly out of bewildered curiosity, and figured it out pretty quickly😂

[MercyA]

3 hours ago, fraidycat said:

I hope someone does burst your bubble on the tea thing because it's a great thread for a laugh as well that I think still exists. I'm hoping someone has it bookmarked and can link it for you.

Is this it???

 

 

[Ellie]

7 hours ago, Harriet Vane said:

It was definitely Joanne. I appreciated her wisdom so much.

I got to meet Joanne in person after I moved to Texas. ❤️ I sure did appreciate her "Get off your butt parenting" advice.

[KidsHappen]

10 hours ago, KSera said:

Does anyone know if this expression is used outside homeschooling circles? I feel like I used to know the name of the specific poster it was attributed to (was it Joanne, perhaps?), and the post it was first introduced in but that was ages ago. I don't recall if it was here, the Sonlight forums, or somewhere else. Doing a web search, I see it coming up mostly on blogs and forums for homeschoolers, which makes me think that perhaps my recollection that it did indeed begin with a forum post is true. It would have been at least 15 years ago at this point.

It was here and it was Joanne.

[KidsHappen]

53 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Is this it???

 

 

Yes, this was the thread, started by Doran. I also have it saved and have had to post it a few times over the years. As far as the kilt pictures that was before the copyright issue and they were  posted frequently on many different threads. That is one of the things I miss the most.

[wintermom]

8 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

Yes, this was the thread, started by Doran. I also have it saved and have had to post it a few times over the years. As far as the kilt pictures that was before the copyright issue and they were  posted frequently on many different threads. That is one of the things I miss the most.

I don't want to read the entire thread, but is the use of or origins of using the code word "tea" included somewhere deep inside it? If so, do you mind copy pasting that post for me. Thanks!! 

[KidsHappen]

59 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I don't want to read the entire thread, but is the use of or origins of using the code word "tea" included somewhere deep inside it? If so, do you mind copy pasting that post for me. Thanks!! 

Well it started with this Post by AmyLovesBud:

Doran, we're about to redo our kitchen and we've been talking about all the cool things we could do to upgrade.

 

For example, we once lived in a house with instant hot water. We were so excited about that feature when we moved in, and we made several cups of hot tea with it right off the bat, but it soon lost its allure. So we won't be investing in another instant hot water tap.

 

It's a lot like that. 😉

 

 

And then Nicole hit it home with this:

Hold the phone, people. Are you saying that some of you can make hot tea without the instant hot water do-hickey? Like, how long does that take, to get her up to a... rolling boil? I mean, why boil water by starting a fire rubbing two sticks together if you're going to have to wait 2 hours for the freaking fire when you could have hot tea in, say, two minutes? In fact, I didn't even know it was possible, that any dear man had that kind of stamina. I thought the electricity-free hot cup of tea was a myth. I thought ladies said, Oh, my! Oh, honey! That's a wonderful cup of tea you made me, dear, but they were really just thinking, isn't he done yet? Where's my tea?

 

Maybe I'm revealing too much about my hot tea history here, but boy, howdy, do I ever wish I'd found the instant hot water tap for hot tea before I was 31! And we tried our darndest, no kidding, but the tea was not... forthcoming. Because, cripes, yes, I wholeheartedly agree that a hot cup of tea, administered regularly, is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle.

 

Really, how long does it take to get to hot tea if you're going there without electricity? I'm serious. I want to know.

 

[ETA: When I wrote this, I had only two little green boxes, 199 points. Now, you'll notice, I have three! And you've also offered me plenty of very helpful information along with that rep. You are so good. Thank you! So many ways to make hot tea. I had no idea....]

 

 

It wandered far and wide after that. I took an hour to reread it again last night and it is just as amusing and educating as it was when we wrote it 15 years ago. 

[wintermom]

@KidsHappen The dots are starting to be connected now. Thanks for all this "research" and knowledge mobilization! 😅

[I talk to the trees]

48 minutes ago, wintermom said:

@KidsHappen The dots are starting to be connected now. Thanks for all this "research" and knowledge mobilization! 😅

Oh, the hive is just a treasure trove of information! Hands up those of you who recall the discussion about carpet in the tea room? 😂

On reflection, I really wish I had archived some of the old threads. The cupcake kerfuffle, tea talks, oh! And remember the gal who wanted to rent out her car as a taxi, and we all piled on and pooh-poohed the idea? (I sometimes wonder if she is now a high-up exec at Uber!) Crock pots, cream of cr@p soup, shopping carts, shoes indoors…yeah, I’m feeling nostalgic today! *sniff, sniff*

 

 

 

 

[Storygirl]

Many of those threads happened before I joined, but I affectionately remember a long one with the boardie who went to someone's house for dinner and was served Kraft Mac and cheese (I think).  There was more than one dinner invitation involved, if I recall. And another one from a mom who daily had to face down another woman who terrorized sidewalk walkers by barreling down the middle with her stroller. 

 

[Dianthus]

Hummus