mom2scouts Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I'm so exhausted. There's not enough caffeine in the world to give me energy. My dad died after a long time with Alzheimer's and we had his funeral on Monday. The last couple of months have been hard. He had to be removed from his home because he became aggressive, then he spent a month in an inappropriate facility where we couldn't visit him. He got Covid while he was there and recovered, but had gone downhill. They finally found a place for him within an hour drive of us where we could visit, but by that time he wasn't talking or walking and barely eating. He died two weeks later. I don't feel like I'm actively grieving. In some ways his death was a relief. Also during this time, my college age son had something upsetting happen to him that could affect him long term and we've been dealing with that too. Now DD has her competition season and we're traveling every few weekends. I expect to be tired, but not as exhausted as I am right now. Is this probably just stress and grieving related? I can't get through the day without a nap and I'm skipping fun things if it's not something I have to do. 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 That's a lot. I think it's normal to be exhausted from all of that stress and grief. It's a lot to process. I'm sorry for your loss and for the situation with your son. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 It is normal. I would be careful about caffeine--do what you normally do, and don't do extra. Or consider going decaf for a while. I think that people can really mess themselves up under stress if they aren't careful about caffeine. It doesn't mean that seeing a doctor wouldn't help if you've been borderline for stress-related health issues and/or haven't seen one in a long time. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Sounds like typical burn out/over exhaustion. You also have grief added to that. In my case, I had to sleep the whole day to recharge, as in sleep for longer than 18 hours straight. I am so sorry and hope you feel better soon. 3 minutes ago, kbutton said: I would be careful about caffeine--do what you normally do, and don't do extra. Or consider going decaf for a while. I think that people can really mess themselves up under stress if they aren't careful about caffeine. I was basically “sleepwalking” relying on caffeine. I don’t drive but I nearly fell asleep while waiting to cross the road so that was unsafe too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Sorry for your loss Ime, it's totally normal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 So sorry for your loss and all that is on your plate. I also think it is totally normal given the circumstances. Try and let some stuff go and nap if you can. All the emotional stuff can truly drain a person!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 (edited) I’m sorry for your loss. It all sounds normal for your situation. Edited February 3, 2023 by Katy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I am so sorry for your loss. I agree it is normal. It is your body’s way of saying ‘I need rest!’ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Yep, totally normal. The three weeks after mom died we went on our abbreviated RV trip ( original was 5 weeks). We hiked and stuff, but I slept a lot. Then the next month my husband went to Africa and I slept a lot as well. Lots of naps. And I wasn't trying to keep up with kids like you are. In that second month, I only added things that gave me joy that I really wanted to do. If you can ( which with kids maybe you cannot), I would pare back as much as humanly possible. At the end of that second month, I began to feel much more like myself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 That's really a lot. My guess is grief and burnout is fueling your exhaustion. There's no harm in having a checkup and assessing iron levels and such to be on the safe side, but mostly I think you probably need to stay still for a bit. My beloved father-in-law had to go into a facility when he became aggressive with Lewy body dementia. It was so painful to see someone so peaceable and so loving change so drastically. I'm so sorry you had to experience this, too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 (edited) I'm so sorry. Take a short early nap every day if you need to. Sounds totally normal to me. [.] Edited March 11, 2023 by MercyA 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I'm so sorry for all that you're dealing with. It's both very normal; and also worth getting a checkup/ bloodwork done to assess iron etc if you haven't done so in a while. Give yourself space and time and grace. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs. I agree with the others, that on your current circumstances and how the last few months have gone, that exhaustion is totally normal and expected. And you should listen to it. This is your body saying you need rest before it turns into something worse. Look at your calendar for the next couple months and remove as much as possible. Maybe even have your daughter travel with a teammate for one or more competitions if possible. You need downtime and relaxation. Soup/salad/sandwich easy meals. Paper plates, etc. Make your life as easy as possible so you can sleep, relax, and recover. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I am so sorry for your loss. When we lost my son, some of us reacted by needing to sleep and sleep. Anything else was hard in the beginning. Others (me) became kind of frantic, and struggled with attention and insomnia. Sitting still was hard. Being in bed was hard. No one slept normally, that was one thing we had in common. Neither path was easy. It sounds very normal. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I don't think it's abnormal at all, but I think the wise thing to do is get a checkup and blood work if you haven't had it done in the last six months or so. From my own experience I can tell you that it's very, very easy to shrug off relatively serious health issues as "just" exhaustion from life stuff. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 I’m sorry for your loss. Between all that and the stuff with the kids, being exhausted is probably normal. How are you sleeping at night? Like, are you sleeping well? When I’m stressed my sleep quality plummets. I ‘sleep’ but my brain doesn’t really relax and it’s not good sleep at all. Hope your energy level improves soon. hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Stress really affects the immune system. As I am always telling people, stress kills. Anyway, agree ypu should have a blood test too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 It's entirely reasonable to feel that way, but a good multivitamin would be a good idea. Stress chews through B vitamins, which will add to jittery anxious feelings, and exhaustion might be an iron deficiency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 Listen to Rosie. It is normal, and yet often times related to neglecting our own nutrition while going through such a time, or stress depleting us of certain ones even if we are eating well. So do what Rosie, the Wise, has ordered. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 3, 2023 Share Posted February 3, 2023 (edited) I certainly think it's possible due to stress and emotional drain, but I'd double check things such as iron levels, vitamin D, B12, thyroid, etc. I suppose it's even possible to have picked up something like mono if your body was under a lot of stress. Edited February 3, 2023 by J-rap 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 I am so sorry for your loss. My mother also died with late-stage Alzheimer's. I agree with everyone else, you have a lot to process, and life is still happening. Please prioritize self care, get counseling or grief support if you can, and give yourself time off from anything optional. Hugs to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArteHaus Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 I am sorry for your loss, the death of a parent can be extremely tough. My mother passed last year (my father had passed already when I was 16) from brain cancer (glioblastoma). It was exhausting, especially considering we lived seven hours apart, and myself, husband and children did a lot of traveling in a short amount of time, to take care of her. She lost capacity to speak for a couple of months before she passed, which was very difficult to deal with. Shortly after that, my brother, who was executer of the estate literally stole a portion of my inheritance. I was appalled the lies and betrayal, especially after all that we had been through (not necessarily the money loss). It was a very lonely, difficult time. I had a couple months prior to this all happening been told that I had breast cancer, which thankfully was a misdiagnosis (I didn’t know this at the time when mom had passed). My point is that, when it rains, sometimes it pours. Do get rest. You will go crazy being exhausted. Time heals, and things eventually work out. Take care:) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 I'm sorry for your loss. I posted here in December about my exhaustion after my mother's death. It was the arrangements and lack of sleep on top of processing emotions. Then the day came when I slept and slept. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 4, 2023 Share Posted February 4, 2023 (edited) Dp. Edited February 4, 2023 by Laura Corin 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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